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"Measure Of A Man"
Written by Sara(goneplatinum@live.com)
Two Thousand Oh Eight

---6---

“Y-you wanna get out now or wait til I find a spot?” AJ asked hesitantly after he took the ticket from the automated parking attendant. He glanced over at Nick who still held a scowl on his pale face.

“I don’t care.” Nick replied in a small voice.

AJ clicked on the car alarm, and one shrill beep echoed through the ramp as the two walked towards the main entrance. Nick caught a chill as a breeze came through; he shoved his hands deep in his pockets, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

The giant medical center loomed above them and spread out for more than three city blocks. People milled around: patients, doctors, visitors. Nick scrunched up his nose. Hospitals gave him a weird feeling, even when they were there to visit a fan or a family member.

A pleasant middle-aged woman smiled, looking up from a computer screen as they approached the information desk. Nick casually glanced up at the clock on the opposite wall. Fifteen minutes after midnight.

“May I help you?”

“Uh yeah, Jillian Walsh please.” AJ said, leaning his elbows down on the desk. Nick hung back, taking in the atmosphere. It almost felt… happy and serene, which did not match his disposition at all right then.

“She is in the emergency room, which is down that hall and to the right, and check in with the front desk.” The woman’s sugary sweet smile made Nick’s bad mood swell even more.

AJ slapped his back to get his attention, “Come on.”

They sauntered down the carpeted hallway to another desk, manned this time by nurses in dark blue scrubs. A pretty blond-haired nurse smiled at them. AJ cleared his throat.

“Jillian Walsh?”

The nurse typed something into her computer, “Looks like she’s in the trauma room right now. I can’t let you back, I’m afraid. Family only.”

“Yeah, uh, but w--I was told to come here by the police.” Nick choked out, finding his voice. She probably thinks a murderer or something, he thought.

“Oh? Oh… well, just a second.” She disappeared from the desk, returning moments later with a doctor clad in pale green scrubs and a white coat. “Doctor, these two gentlemen are here for your patient in trauma three.” she explained.

The doctor nodded and led the two away from the desk over to an adjacent room. He took the chair opposite the door and motioned for AJ and Nick to have a seat.

“You are related to Miss Walsh, I assume?”

“Yeah, I’m her b-boyfriend,” Nick stuttered as a fresh wave of nervousness washed over him. He rubbed his hands together and absently shoved them in his pockets again. “Is she gonna be okay?”

“Well, it’s really too soon to say. She sustained a nasty bump to her head in the incident.”

“And is that all?” AJ asked, scooting the chair away from the wall.

“Um, unfortunately no. She also has a broken left femur, that’s the large bone in your leg, the other bone in the lower left leg are shattered too, I'm afraid, and we suspect she may have internal injuries. From the report, the police found her slumped over the steering wheel. She’s also got some lacerations and abrasions to her face. But she is very lucky to be alive.” He explained, finishing with a nod.

Nick wanted to throw up. Or run away. Or both. He could feel his throat begin to constrict. The room seemed to be closing in on him from all sides. He gripped the chair arm with such force, his knuckles turned bright white.

“Dude, it’s okay. She’s going to be all right.” AJ said.

“C-can we see her?” Nick asked, his voice laced with an ungodly fear.

--

“Smells like death and shit.” Nick mumbled, shrinking up against the wall as they walked towards the back of the emergency room.

The doctor stopped short of a curtained-off area, and turned to face them, “There’s a lot of action going on, so please make your visit brief.”

The doctor pulled back the curtain, the metal track at the top squeaked loudly as what was behind it was revealed.

“Holy shit.” Nick whispered.

There was nothing that could have prepared Nick for what he was about to see. Jill lay on a high bed, surrounded by what seemed to be a million and one machines, a large white bandage covering most of her head. A plastic tube protruded from her mouth and was connected to a purple bag that a nurse standing close by squeezed every other second or so.

“She’s stable, despite what it may look like.” The doctor said, scribbling something down on a metal chart. He hung it at the end of the bed and motioned to them, “You can come closer, it’s okay.”

But Nick’s feet were frozen where they stood. His eyes doubled in size as they focused on Jill’s bruised face.

“Oh shit. Jilly.” He whispered again, wiping at his mouth. AJ prodded him forward, and Nick cautiously took a step towards the bed. He paused, daunted by all the machines. At AJ’s behest, he took another step. Then another, until he was at the edge of the bed, the constant beeping of the machines in tune with the pounding of his heart.

“Soon she’ll be moved upstairs to the trauma ICU. Is there any, uh, family that should be contacted?”

“Her parents live in Minnesota. Nick’s all she’s got out here.” AJ explained, folding his arms across his chest.

“Ah, I see. Well, for any surgery, we need consent. Now obviously, Miss Walsh is unable to give her consent, so… “

“Surgery? What for?”

“Her leg was shattered in the impact of the crash, and will need to be properly re-aligned.”

Nick ran a shaky hand through his hair and cleared his throat, “So I guess that’s all on me, huh?”

“The surgery will take place tomorrow morning, and the orthopedic surgeon will be in to speak with you to answer more of your questions then. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?”

“No. Uh, thank you.”

Nick carefully stepped up and let his eyes travel the length of the bed, the severity of the situation sinking in. A single tear rolled down his cheek and landed on the stark white sheet. He gently picked up Jill’s hand and brought her fingers to his lips, kissing the tip of each one. Tears flowed down his cheeks and the sudden onslaught of emotions hit him like a wave, tearing a choked sob from his lips as the reality of the days events hit him like a hammer.

AJ hung back, wiping at the tears that pricked at his own eyes. It was damn near unbearable to watch Nick go through such a mind-numbing whirlwind, and knowing full well that it was something neither of them had any control over.

“Please. Please baby, come back to me.” Nick squeaked, his voice raw and hoarse . He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffled, looking over to AJ, “Bone, this sucks. This sucks so hard.”

“Yeah, it does.” AJ replied as he stood beside him. He wrapped an arm around Nick’s shoulder and pulled him into his arms as Nick wept, “Just let it all out, man.”

“I-I can’t lose her. I just can’t.”