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"Measure of A Man"
Written by Sara(goneplatinum@live.com)
Two Thousand Oh Eight


---7---

With soft music whafting through the small-ish waiting room, Nick could feel the tiredness beginning to settle in his bones. He cracked his neck to the left and let out a groan, stretching his arms up to the ceiling.

“Hey Nicky,” AJ said from his spot on an uncomfortable plastic chair near the entrance to the waiting room. He managed a small smile and adjusted his sunglasses, sitting up further. “Did you get some shut-eye?”

“Hmm? Nah. I can’t sleep. Every time I try, all I see is…” He waved in the direction of the ICU. “This place gives me the creeps.”

“Yo-you wanna go in for a quick visit?”

Nick glanced towards the glass doors that encased the trauma ICU and bit his lip, lost in thought. It wasn’t going to get any easier to see Jill in such a state of distress and pain.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’ll go in,” Nick said with a nod. He wiped his sweaty palms down the front of his jeans, took in a deep breath, and stood up. “You gonna be okay in here?”

“I’m not three-years-old, thank you very much,” AJ said, chuckling as he shook his head in disbelief.

“Not even going to contest with that one, Bone.” Nick managed a laugh, and immediately felt guilt-ridden. He gripped his hands tightly and breathed warm air in between his fingers, the pins and needles feeling subsiding briefly as he stepped out of the waiting room. The walls were painted a stark white; in fact, everything around him was white and sterile.

Feeling more like a lost child in a department store, Nick cautiously walked over to the sliding glass door that separated him from the woman he loved. There, on the far right… an elevator. He could so make a break for it.

A low voice came from behind, “Nick?”

Startled out of his reverie, Nick turned to face a pair of familiar brown eyes framed by dark caterpillar-like eyebrows. It was Kevin. How the hell

“How the hell did you know I was here?”

“Bone gave me a jingle about an hour ago. Tried to get you on the phone, but you must’ve been off in another dimension or something,” he said with a smile, patting Nick on the shoulder. “You holding up okay?”

“Uh, I guess. As good as I can,” Nick admitted with a shrug. “I was, uh, just about to go in and see Jilly.”

“Don’t let me interrupt. I’ll be back in the waiting room with AJ. Brian and Howie said they’d be by around lunch. That cool?”

Nick nodded in response, although his mind was swimming once again. Why was everyone acting like this was more of a family reunion? Lowering his eyebrows in confusion, Nick did a quick double-take to Kevin’s retreating back, and then turned back to the still closed glass doors. This was not going to go away, he thought as his heart began to thump loudly. Clearing his throat, Nick stretched over to push the button on the intercom.

The intercom buzzed and a static-y, almost tinny sounding voice erupted from the small box, “Can I help you?”

“Jillian Walsh?” he said, voice squeaking. He bit at his lower lip again, letting the skin grind through his teeth, and waited patiently as a nurse came over to the door.

“She’s right over here,” the nurse said with a smile, the first genuine one of the day.

She led Nick over to a room directly across from the main nurse’s station. Nick moved towards the door, his heartbeat now resembling the drum solo at a Metallica concert. He wished he had someone else with him… besides this strange woman.

The room was large, and three of the walls were solid glass. A smaller desk with two chairs sat right outside of the door. Nick came up to the bed that was situated in the center of the room, taking in the moment. He let out a low whistle, running a hand through his hair and then settled his hands down on the blanket.

Purple and red bruises covered the right side of Jill’s face, her eye completely swollen shut. Her once bright pink cheeks were now pale and bruised. Bruised and broken, yet still beautiful. Nick grasped her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, letting the softness of her skin sink deep within him. A trace of blood ran down the side of her cheek, and Nick carefully tried to wipe it away.

The breathing tube was still in place, although now it was hooked up to a large machine at the back of the bed. It made hissing noises as the precious air was pumped into Jill’s lungs. He noticed the beeping of the heart monitor, keeping in time with his own.

“My name’s Corinne, and I’ll be Jillian’s nurse today,” the nurse spoke, knocking Nick back in to the present. She smiled again, taking a step to the other side of the bed. “Dr. Slayton will be around in a few minutes to talk to you about Jillian’s surgery scheduled for this morning. Did you get some sleep, I hope?”

Nick shook his head. “No. Not really. My brain just… wouldn’t shut off.” He glanced back down at Jill’s peaceful face, her brown hair splayed across the pillow, curls washing down to frame her marred face. He carefully picked up a curl and ran it between his fingers. Small hints of lavender tickled his nostrils and Nick couldn’t help but smile at the minute familiarity.

“Despite of what it may look like, she’s actually doing quite well. The ventilator,” Corinne motioned to the breathing tube and box behind, “is only as a precaution; to keep her lungs safe. After surgery, they’ll do a chest x-ray and see if there was any permanent damage from the crash. If not, we’ll wean her off the vent in a couple days.”

“Wean? Isn’t that like something you do with a baby?”

Corinne let a soft laugh. “Yes, but in this instance, it refers to lowering the oxygen level on the vent to let the patient’s own lungs breathe on their own, to want to breathe on their own.”

“Oh, okay. So sh-she’ll be able to talk to me and stuff after that?” Nick asked hopefully.

“Definitely. Oh, here’s Dr. Slayton. I’ll leave you two alone.” Corinne squeezed Nick’s hand before exiting the room.

A grey-haired doctor dressed in pale blue scrubs with a paper hat affixed around his head picked up Jill’s chart from the bedside table and gave it a once-over. He then cleared his throat and looked up at Nick. “What we will be doing is placing an intramedullary nail down through the shaft of the femur. It should take, oh, about two hours tops. Do you have any questions?”

Completely dumbfounded, Nick searched for the words in his brain, but was coming up with nothing.

“A… a whatullary thing? Could you lay it on me in plain English?” Nick said as trickles of sweat rolled down his face. Unrelenting nervousness continued to come at him in constant waves.

The doctor sighed, glanced up at the ceiling, and shifted his weight from his right foot to the left. “An intramedullary nail, almost like a steel piece of pipe, that will be put down the middle of the bone to let it heal properly.”

Nick cringed inwardly at the thought, but pushed that out of mind for the moment. He was not in the mood to be chastised by a doctor, certainly not when he was an adult and capable of being talked to as such. He opened his mouth to say something in response, but the doctor took another look in his direction, smirked, and left the room in a flash.

“Fucking nice talking to you too, asshole,” he grumbled under his breath through clenched teeth. He then turned all of his attention back on Jill. “Baby, I don’t know if you can hear me… wherever you are, but please… don’t leave me.”

Even contemplating such a notion was enough to turn Nick’s stomach into a solid rock. He couldn’t imagine his life without her, nor could he even remember what his life had been like before her.

Nick exhaled loudly and closed his eyes briefly to say a small prayer. He’d never been much for religion, but figured in this instance, it was warranted.