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"Measure Of A Man"
Written by Sara(goneplatinum@live.com)
Two Thousand and Eight
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“Hey Nick.” Corinne popped her head back into the room. “The transport team is here to bring Jillian down for surgery.”

It’s too soon. I need more time.

But before he was able to get a word in edgewise, a slew of scrub-clad personnel came in with a separate bed on wheels. One of them locked the bed into place and lowered the rail down as the other team members worked in a flourish to disconnect the ventilator to a portable squeeze bag. They then gathered around Jill’s bed and, all at once, lifted her limp body from one bed to the other. Her head briefly hung back, and Nick looked on in horror as her left eye opened a fraction of an inch.

“Jesus, she’s awake!” he shouted, clapping a hand over his mouth after the fact.

No one acknowledged his sudden outburst, instead the bed rail was put back up into place, and the brakes unlocked. Nick inched his way up to the head of the bed, and quickly pressed his lips against Jill’s forehead. He wiped a stray hair out of her face, taking a mental snapshot of her delicate features, marred as they were. As the bed was wheeled out of the room, Nick suddenly felt as if heart had been ripped out of his chest and thrown away like common garbage.

Lingering tears cascaded down his cheeks. “Shit.” He let his arms drop down to his side, heavy as steel anchors. His legs trembled as the sheer emotional overload hit him like a ton of bricks. Collapsing down to his knees, Nick paid no attention to the small audience that had gathered outside Jill’s room.

“Hey… hey Nicky,” Brian’s voice penetrated his conscience from far out in the stratosphere. He knelt down next to his friend and placed a sympathetic hand on his back, “Nick, l-let’s go.” Brian said, his own voice choked as he helped Nick to his feet.

--

There was a lot of tension as all five of the Backstreet Boys, and now their respective female counterparts, had taken refuge in the waiting room. Soda cans and paper cups sat atop the laminate-covered table. Nick used the surface to drum his fingers along the edge, as his friends conversed back and forth.

“So how did all of this happen?” Kevin asked, his arm around his wife, Kristin. He glanced over at Nick, who was clearly in a world of his own. “Nicky, come down out of the clouds.”

“Dude. Kev, leave the guy alone,” AJ interjected with a knowing look, to which Kevin scoffed.

“You look like hell,” Kevin joked, slapping his leg.

Nick threw him a dirty look, his mouth contorted in a scowl.

“What the fuck is your problem, man?” AJ stood up, his hands balled into fists. “You’d look like shit too if you had to deal with your woman being all mangled and stuff. Like I said, leave. him. alone,” AJ said forcefully.

Kevin rose to his feet, his once smiling face now dark and creased with anger. “I never thought you’d be the one to pick and choose Nick’s battles for him, Bone,” he said in a low tone. “All I asked was how this happened. Simple enough.”

“She thought I was fucking cheating on her, okay?” Nick barked, looking up. “She thought I was cheating, I denied it, she called me an asshole and I said leave. There! Is that what you were looking for? Does that satisfy your curiosity, Kevin? Huh?”

Now meeting each other at eye level, Kevin crossed his arms over his muscular chest and cocked his head to the side. “Hmm, I can see why she’d think that.”

“What… the… fuck!” Nick spat out, clenching his hands into fists, anger coursing through his veins like wildfire.

“AJ, make them stop. Please.” Brenna, AJ’s girlfriend of almost a decade, pleaded.

AJ sighed heavily and took a step in the direction of his squabbling brothers. Rebuffed by Kevin’s outstretched hand, he said, “Look, this is neither the time nor the place for this.”

“Come on, AJ, you know Nick’s track record of tramps and such. It was bound to bite him in the ass at some point,” Kevin retorted, shrugging his shoulder as if it were nothing.

“Kevin, for fuck’s sake, let it go,” Kristin said, pulling on Kevin’s arm and trying to move towards the door.

So enraged by Kevin’s words, Nick’s fist flew out and connected with Kevin’s strong jaw. Kevin stumbled back, the wind knocked out of him momentarily, and stared up at Nick, completely stunned. Nick just glared back. “Go to hell. I love Jilly and you fucking know that. You know that!” Nick’s chin trembled as the words poured out, his heart feeling as if it were broken into pieces. “So fuck off. If you think that of me… then just… fuck off.”

“Come on, Kevin, let’s give them some room to breathe,” Kristin said as she helped Kevin to his feet and then out of the room.

What should have been a moment to reflect back on his true feelings for Jill were masked by utter anger and frustration. Never had Nick heard such hateful and awful words come out of Kevin’s mouth. Sure, they’d bantered back and forth before, but it was always done in jest. Not this time, though.

Nick flopped down on the firm cushion of the couch and instantly his body went limp from utter exhaustion. He just wanted to sleep. A few hours would work but with the emotional ambush of the last few hours, he felt as if he could sleep for days or even weeks.

He didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore. “Please, someone, tell me that this is a nightmare. Tell me I’m gonna wake up soon or somethin',” Nick mumbled, settling his head up on one of the ratty pillows. Come sleep, come.

Brian looked on as Nick soon fell into a deep sleep, his head lolled to the side. He knew that hospitals tweaked out not only Nick, but the other guys in the group, too. Taking in a deep breath, he let it out slowly before rising to his feet.

“Hey AJ, I’m just gonna go for a walk around. Maybe get some fresh air,” Brian said as he propped the waiting room door open with his foot.

“Sure Rok, knock yourself out,” AJ said, getting up. He stretched his arms far above his head, letting out a groan as the knots in his back eased out. “Think I’m gonna run down and get me some food. Maybe get Nicky some grub, too. Don’t think he’s eaten since sometime yesterday.”