It’s been ten years since society crashed, burned, and whatever it is up there decided to play its practical joke by fucking up the world. Ten years ago, if you’d asked me if I believed in God, I would’ve laughed in your face. What proof was there in some dude sitting up there watching us like we were his goddamn ant farm? My life had been pretty twisted by that point, and I didn’t believe in anything. Let alone some god. I sure as hell wasn’t afraid to say so either. I didn’t care who it offended ‘cause I wanted to open their eyes.
Ask me that question now, well, the answer isn’t yes.
It’s a maybe.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I don’t know why I’m here. But it is wild how we not only came together, we managed to survive a shitload of flesh-eating corpses, and we even started to rebuild. It’s something. It’s a life. Hell, I even found someone. I’m a father. If that doesn’t tell me there might be something up there, what does? When Asha was born, I promised I would never leave her. I promised I would always be there to protect her and give her everything my father couldn’t stick around long enough to give me. So far, I don’t think I’m doing a bad job. Maybe fatherhood is the first thing I know I’m actually good at. I judge myself by her happiness. She’s happy. I’m happy. Selena’s happy.
I’m… a lot of things. I’m an artist. An addict. Reckless. Asshole. Survivor. Hunter. Out of everything I am, though, I think fatherhood is probably my biggest accomplishment. When I look into my baby’s face, I know I’ve done something worthwhile in my lifetime. I ain’t worthless.
Shit, Brian’s right. I really have gone soft.
Wednesday, April 13, 2022
Ten years after Infernal Friday
The sky was blue, the grass was green, and AJ’s heart felt full. Almost as full as a baked potato, really. He’d dropped off Asha at the little school house Gretchen had for the kids before making his way out into the wilderness. Even after ten years, it was still laughable that in Tampa Bay, what had once been a national park was now dangerous. But that was how things went when there were no people besides themselves. Without humanity, nature was able to take her land back. And take it back she had. It was incredible to realize just what simple maintenance did to fight it back. Now the roads were cracked with plants fighting their way through.
He walked the path he knew well now to where he was going. Brian had managed to find a couple of wild horses once, but he knew better than to try and take them hunting. They had been tamed well enough with some time and effort, but it always felt less risky to go on foot. His limp was still there after so many years, though it had lessened over time. Now it was more manageable, and he’d adapted to move quickly enough when he was out on the hunt. Despite everything that had changed since that first day a decade ago, he still yearned to make sure he was useful. AJ had learned he wasn’t worthless, for sure. But he loved that feeling of accomplishment, even now.
Every once in awhile, he found himself still missing the immediate high cocaine could give or the pure oblivion enough alcohol granted. It was a battle he fought daily, but his struggle was made easier by the simple fact that the drug was no longer in existence the way he knew it. As for alcohol, sometimes he’d spot it when, on the rare occasion, he’d enter a store. It could last for plenty of years, so he was sure there was some great wine out there somewhere, just waiting to be taken. But when he looked down at his little girl, with her curly black hair and big brown eyes, suddenly he found even the moment’s thought fading away. He needed to be strong; he wanted to be strong for her. His baby girl deserved that.
It was weird, to think of himself as a father, even now. Perhaps because he’d never known his own. His mother had tried to be both for him, for so many years. AJ liked to think she’d be proud of the way he’d turned his life around. Maybe not the fact that it had taken the end of the world for it to really happen, but it had happened, at least. He loved Selena more than life itself, and it warmed his heart when he saw her and Asha together. She’d often tease him about the many drawings of them she’d find in his old sketch pad, but he couldn’t help it. They, everyone in their little base family, had become the source of hope in what had once been a bleak, dark, life.
Over the past ten years, he had learned to become a new man for the third time. He remembered the past versions of himself. First, there was the addict, the man who had fallen so far through his depression he couldn’t see anything for what it was. Instead, all he could do was find everything worthless, while giving up seemed to be the best option. The second was the man reborn through the end of the world. A world that had chosen him for whatever reason, to help rebuild. He was a man who had, for the first time, found a purpose. But even then, he somewhat sought to chase after the death that constantly eluded him through his risky maneuvers and choices. The third came after Jo’s demise, a man who realized he’d done nothing but waste everything he’d been given for his own weaknesses. This was the man Selena fell for, the man who had the courage to take that step and ask her to come back to the States with him.
Still, he loved some risk. Hunting satisfied that for him.
Birds chirped and fluttered around him as he got deeper into the park. He swatted away mosquitoes and sought to ignore the buzzing cicadas. It was more humid here than back on the base, another sign spring was here and summer would be soon to follow. It was a big day for them, a real milestone in terms of their survival. AJ chuckled to himself as he walked, his eyes peeled for signs of any movement from significant prey. He wondered what the others would think if he suddenly decided to try his hand at some more apocalyptic murals. He wouldn’t, mainly because of the kids, but it would almost be worth it just to see their faces.
It was this musing that caused his attention to be slightly scattered, if only for a moment. He was walking along a stream and didn’t see the alligator creeping steadily along, another hunter in search of that day’s meal. A twig along the ground snapped, and AJ jerked, stumbling back in an attempt to catch himself. His crossbow almost fell from his hands, but he hurriedly regained his grip on it, costing him that sense of fleeting balance. He slammed onto the ground while stabbing pain shot up and down his bad leg, the source being his ankle.
“Mother fucking Christ on a cracker!” AJ swore as he scooted back, the gator growling in excitement at the prospect of fresh meat. Memories of himself in the same position with zombies flashed before his eyes.
The gator snapped at his legs as he rolled quickly to dodge it. This wasn’t going to do it for long. “Damn if I’m gonna get killed by an oversized purse,” he grunted.
As he pulled the trigger, an arrow flew from the bow, piercing the animal through its eye. It fell to its side with a few final gasps. AJ smirked as pushed himself up into a sitting position, groaning softly. “Better shot than I meant to.” He tried to stand and immediately learned why that was a bad idea, as his ankle gave way at any attempt of pressure. “Fuck!” He glared at the dead alligator. “I’m gonna see if Riley can turn you into some damn boots, fucking asshole.”
Years ago, he used to keep his old cane strapped to his back alongside his arrows. After awhile, it became unnecessary, though he still kept it in the house, just in case. Now he was wishing he was the extra cautious type. Or someone who didn’t prefer solitude as much as he did. Sure, Nick got annoying at times, but he’d known the blonde would be down at the docks the way he always was, using fishing as an excuse to be by the oceans he loved so damn much. Then AJ remembered the last time he’d taken Nick along with him on a hunt. The kid scared everything off because he couldn’t stay still or quiet along enough. Laughed at the memory, AJ glanced around for a fallen branch or something to brace himself up on.
The roar of a small aircraft caught his ears before he did, however. With a grin, AJ reached for his crossbow. After tying on the bandana he wore to an arrow, he fired it into the air above the trees in hopes of catching their attention. When the plane circled back around and began to lower in altitude towards the nearest clearing, the former addict smiled smugly to himself. The only people flying around would be Kevin and Gabby. They knew how to find him if he was in trouble. Or, in his case, just unable to walk for the moment.
I may not believe in fate, he mused. But lady luck fucking loves me.
