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Chapter 95


It’s not ever easy, being the leader.

Before… I loved the responsibility, the honor. But there’s always that fear as well. When everyone looks up to you, failure can’t be an option. You question every choice you make, but can never speak a word of doubt. You must remain confident in their eyes, to show that their faith in you is well-placed.

Still, I wonder. It’s only human nature, I suppose. Humanity is in short supply these days.

Am I making the right choices?

I’ve already cost us once. We traveled the country, and all it did was weaken us, get Jo killed. I miss her. It was nice, having her to help me keep the group together. We balanced in the way we led them, for she was as much at the head of the group as I was. Just in a different way. Now, there’s only me, and no room for any more mistakes.

Should we go with the newcomers?

Should we stay?

I just don’t know.



Monday, January 28, 2013
Week Forty-One

A sweet aroma greeted Kevin’s senses as he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. There stood Riley, looking frustrated with a variety of baking ingredients before her. Shawn was sitting at the table, eating breakfast with Gabby. Kevin had been the one to let the newcomers stay with him and Gabby over the past week. They needed rest before flying back to Europe, and the question of going with them still hung in the air. So, of course, they stayed with him. What else could he do?

Gabby was talking animatedly with Shaun. About what, Kevin wasn’t paying much attention. He was more focused on the fact she was chatting away. Anything that got the teen to be more interactive could only be a good thing. His return to the base seemed to have cheered her up a bit at first, but since then, she’d regressed to being sullen and withdrawn again. It was only recently that he’d started seeing signs of the girl he’d known before he’d left, before she’d lost her mother. Kevin knew he’d never be able to replace Jo, but he tried his hardest to be a parent to her. If only to sooth the guilt and regret he felt over not being there to prevent her mother’s demise, he did it. But it was more than that. He had a strong fondness for Gabby, the daughter he knew he’d likely never be able to have.

“Morning, Kevy!” Gabby chirped when she saw him there.

“Kevy?” he sighed. “I’m going to murder Nick.”

She laughed as Riley turned towards him. “No killing on his birthday. Though there has to be way to make a cake for him with canned milk and egg substitute and not have it falling flat on me. Ugh, I knew I should’ve asked Gretch.”

“Why are you baking it here?” Shaun asked between bites.

“My attempt at surprising him. Brian’s with him at moment, keeping him busy, I hope. He doesn’t know I’m over here.”

Kevin smiled as he walked over and started writing down an old recipe of his mother’s. He slid it over to her, enjoying the simplicity of worrying over a birthday instead of worrying if they would live to see another day. “Try this. My mom would make this anytime she was low on supplies but didn’t have the time to run to the store.”

“You’re a lifesaver.”

Selena made her way downstairs and took in her surroundings critically. “What’s with the meeting?”

“It’s Nick’s birthday. Riley’s borrowing the kitchen.”

“I’m amazed you bother with frivolities like birthdays.”

“Of course we do. Just because zombies rule the world, it doesn’t mean we can’t still take joy in the little things.”

“Hmm.”

“So I take it we’ll have the dinner at the pub?” Kevin asked, redirecting the conversation before the two strong-willed women got too heated.

“Yeah. I figure it’d be nice to make it special. He’s freaking out a little about almost being thirty.”

Shaun laughed. “Hell, I’d love to make it to forty. These days, it’s an accomplishment.”

The youngest in the room made a face. “Forty’s ancient.”

“Hey now, I’m only a couple years away from forty myself.”

Just then, they heard the distant sound of the front door, followed by an unmistakable voice shouting, “I smell food!” It was as if he’d been summoned.

“Shit! Brian’s gonna get it for losing track of him.”

Kevin almost laughed at the look of panic that struck Riley’s face at that precise moment. She gazed at him pleadingly as she gathered what she needed for the recipe he’d given her.

“I’ll keep him busy and take him on a sweep; we need to do one today, anyway.”

“Thanks. I owe ya.” She grinned at Gabby. “Wanna help me bake? I need all the help I can get, I think.”

“Sure.”

“Heeeeey, anyone hear me?”

“Nick!” Kevin called out, as he cut him off in the living room. “I was just about to go next door to get you.”

“You were? See, I was looking for Rye and…”

“Yeah, you and I need to do a sweep of the base. Make sure nothing’s slipping through after smelling our new guests.”

Nick pouted as he followed him outside. “Can’t Brian do it? He’s not doing much; we just played basketball for a bit. It is my birthday…”

He almost laughed. One of Nick’s more endearing, yet at times annoying qualities was his childlike exuberance. Kevin feigned surprise. “Is it? Happy birthday, little man, but I know Brian should be busy right about now, so I need you.”

“Alright… but really, have you seen Riley? I haven’t seen her all day. Gretch said she was helping Selena with something earlier.”

“Hmm, well if she is, I haven’t seen her.”

The two made their way out into the garage to load up on weaponry. It seemed like they wouldn’t need much, but too many close calls prevented Kevin from acting on what may have been an illogical instinct. Once loaded up, they walked outside and climbed into the Hummer so often used for their rides around the base. As Kevin started up the car and began to back out, he caught Nick in the corner of his eye staring out the window, lost in thought.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

He chuckled. “They ain’t worth that much.”

“Try me anyway.”

“It’s just the idea of us leaving… if we do, ya know?”

“Do you want to?” Kevin asked. He knew he could use more feedback on the idea. While everyone would surely vote, he also knew they wouldn’t go if he said it was a bad choice. But that was the rub: he wasn’t sure if it was or not. He simply did not have the answer this time.

Nick sighed, aiming casually out the window at a lone zombie shuffling about. Kevin wondered for an instant what gender it was. As time went on, the decay made it harder and harder to tell. They were becoming worse for the wear by the day. The bullet slammed directly into its face, causing the body to burst in a splash of flying body parts they’d now become accustomed to. “I do, and I don’t.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, see, I know how badly Brian needs this, for Gretch. They need this shot. Hell, maybe one day, more of us might, too. But we don’t know if we’ll find what we need there, if it’ll be any better. It’s a huge fucking leap of faith. And… well, this is home.”

Kevin nodded. “That’s how I feel about it, too.”

The vehicle slowed as they passed the front gate. Something about it captured Kevin’s attention, making him want to take a better look. His thick brows furrowed at the scene. As always, there was a horde of zombies struggling to enter and forever failing in their endeavor. They never left, though, attracted by the all-too-human scent left by the people Kevin and Nick now considered family, kept at bay only by the gates.

Nick immediately noticed Kevin’s slight reverie. “What is it?”

“There’s a lot more than normal… They must have been attracted by the blood.”

“It’ll be alright, though, right?”

Will it? He wasn’t a hundred percent certain. He took in the multitude of the undead yet again. The gate had been built to withstand almost anything thrown at it. But did that include zombie bombardment? It took constant, daily, unyielding abuse. Would it be alright with the new added pressure? The gate shook a bit, but still seemed sturdy. Kevin rubbed his temple tiredly. He was overreacting. Maybe he was simply over-thinking things.

“Yeah, we should be fine.”

***


“Shhh… shhh…”

The room was dark. All were silent, listening carefully, their ears peeled for any sound beyond the distant moans, which did seem a little loud, likely because of the hush amongst them. The door opened, and two silhouettes could be seen, illuminated by the moonlight filtering in through the windows.

“Happy birthday!” they all screamed, as the lights came on. Nick jerked a bit with surprise, a gun in hand.

Riley smirked. “Now, remember, zombies are the dead ones.”

“Says the one who almost shot me twice, thinking I was one.” He looked around, seeing the cake, dinner, and festive decorations hung around the club. He smiled. “You organized all this?”

She shrugged.

“Thanks, guys. I thought you all forgot.”

Kevin laughed. “Like you would let us.”

“Yeah, you’ve only been driving us crazy singing ‘Happy Birthday to Me’ all week.”

“How’s it feel being ancient?” teased AJ.

Nick rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out in response. “Says the one who’s balding and needs a cane.”

Howie laughed. “Yeah, if anyone’s in the running for Old Man, it’s you.”

The others joined in the laughter, as they all gathered around the table. Gretchen was serving up plates, looking so domestic it was easy to forget they lived in a post-apocalyptic world these days.

As everyone started eating and chatting away, Kevin thought he heard something. He tuned everyone out, using the instincts honed by years in the military to try and single out what he thought he had heard. There was nothing but the moans, which seemed loud, but that was just because there were more zombies around the base now. When nothing more followed, he brushed it off and tuned back into the conversations around him.

“Rye, I can’t take this,” Nick said softly, almost in awe. In the side of his vision, Kevin could see Nick staring down at a rosary held gently in his hands.

“Yes, you can.”

“But it was your mother’s. You always say it’s your last link to her.”

“I know. See, my mom gave it to my father. And now, I’m giving it to you…”

Kevin felt wrong, eavesdropping accidentally on such a personal conversation. As he continued eating, he tried to focus on what the others were saying. Kevin’s gaze went over to AJ, who was taking off his sunglasses to look Selena directly in the eyes.

“No, really, I get what you’re saying. People are overrated, or at least, they were…”

And then there was Shaun, chatting contentedly with Brian and Gretchen. “You should meet my girlfriend, Liz. She’d die if you lot came back with us. Her biggest complaint is that there’s not enough couples back home.” He made a face. “Or enough women for her to chat with. There’s only one, besides her and Selena...”

“Dr. Kwak In-Su…” Howie started. “I’d be interested in knowing more about your studies before you left Korea, if you’re willing to talk about it…”

AJ, hearing Howie, laughed. “I love that name. It sounds like something you’d call a fucked-up doctor. A Quack and Sue… for everything he’s got!”

“Sometimes you scare me, AJ…”

It was Gabby who noticed Kevin’s own lack of interaction with the others. “What’s wrong?”

That was it. He felt it. It was in the air. Something was wrong. Something was coming. But he couldn’t place his finger on what it was. For all intents and purposes, the night was calm. There seemed to be no danger within their base. So why was he so on edge? Why was he keeping distant, in an attempt to stay alert?

“You alright, Kev?” Brian asked, hearing Gabby and frowning once he saw his cousin’s expression.

“Hey, no bumming out on my birthday!” Nick announced.

That was until the windows shattered.

Suddenly, zombies were slumping and crawling their ways through the windows. Doors that hadn’t been locked or even shut all the way were flung open, as more corpses made their way in. The innocent birthday party now became a free-for-all buffet for any reanimated corpse in the area. All because of mistakes they had made. Careless mistakes. Always, whenever they got comfortable, they became careless – and Kevin knew he had let them.

Nick immediately started firing off at the undead. Bodies burst upon impact, splattering them all. No one cared right then. What scared Kevin was how few of them were armed. Even he, always the careful one, hadn’t thought to grab his gun. Only Nick, AJ, and Selena were firing consistently.

“Gretch!” Brian screamed, when one got her by the hair. Shrieking, Gretchen grabbed for the champagne bottle on the table. She swung it around and slammed it down on the zombie’s head. It only moaned louder once it shattered. Using the shattered remains, she shoved a large shard of glass as hard as she could at the creature’s eye. Finally, the grip on her released. She stepped away, panting, and collapsed into Brian’s arms.

Gabby ran for Kevin. A ghoul grabbed for her leg. Kevin grabbed the chair he’d been sitting on and smashed it down on the head. He continued beating it, again and again, until it finally stopped moving.

Howie, Selena, Shaun, and Dr. Kwak hurried outside, once the opportunity presented itself.

“Go!”

Brian, AJ, and Gretchen ran for the door. AJ was more or less hobbling, firing shots with every step he took. Kevin was simply thankful they’d brought more than one car, due to the supplies for the little party. They had been lucky. How many times would they be in the future? They couldn’t afford more mistakes.

Mistakes cost them lives.

“Head for the church!” he bellowed, once the numbers of the undead finally dwindled a little. It wasn’t much, but a noticeable enough difference for them to work with. There were less shots being fired. Kevin only hoped that was because there were fewer zombies, rather than dwindling ammo.

Nick and Riley raced ahead, piling into the truck she’d had him take. “I’m gonna try to get some them to follow me!” Nick called back to Kevin.

Right then, he was thankful someone was thinking of a plan. It was so unlike him to be taken by such surprise like this. He raced for the Hummer. Gabby’s hand was in his, held in a death grip. Once in, Brian started the engine. He and Gretchen were in the front, while Kevin and Gabby squeezed into the back with AJ.

“The church.” It seemed ironic, but it was still the best fortification on base. They’d never cleared it out of the clothes and sleeping bags, a fact which offered him some relief.

Thriller was blasting from the truck as they passed it. Riley had climbed out into the bed, firing back as Nick drove. He’d been right; they were able to clear a path by diverting some of the masses, but a second look out the window revealed a horrific sight. The undead, putrefying, rotten corpses were roaming everywhere. It was déjà-vu, a flashback to the first days of their new world.

But how?

They took an indirect route to the chapel, unable to make it a straight shot while there were so many zombies in their path to run over, and on their way, they passed the front gate. It had been pushed down completely. As it was, more and more zombies were coming through, shuffling over the fallen bodies.

As they pulled up to the church, Brian killed the ignition, giving Kevin a questioning glance. Gretchen said nothing, just rubbed her stomach, gazing out the window every few seconds. Kevin nodded at AJ, who stopped shooting out the window and rolled it up. It was nice, being able to give direction without a word. They had to wait for the others; their best chance at getting inside safely would be as a group.

“Kev…”

“I know. Looks like this answers our question. We’re leaving for Europe as soon as we can.”

No one said anything more; they waited in silence. The thoughts of earlier that day haunted Kevin.

“It’ll be alright, though, right?”

“Yeah, we should be fine.”


How wrong he had been.

***