- Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the next chapter.... enjoy!!
Chapter Five- Unmistakable.


Alex woke up with beads of sweat pouring down his forehead, the images of that pure clear liquid he knew wasn’t water, infiltrating his thoughts. He shook his head and wiped away the sweat and looked at the clock. It was six am, a little too early for him to be getting up but these days it wasn’t a new thing.

He climbed into bed and wandered out of the room; roaming the halls of his apartment, unsure of what to do. He knew he had to shower and get ready for work, but something was willing him NOT to. He wondered how it would go down at the office, missing a few hours, maybe even a day or two, of work. They wouldn’t need him; after all the proposals for the next few days were done, and if he needed to he could always ask Howie for his help.

The ringing phone brought his thoughts to a screeching halt.

“Hello?”

“Alexander?” It was his mother. He groaned inwardly and sat on the nearest chair; rubbing his face as he did so.

“Hey mom,” he replied; trying to muster up some sort of façade to let her know he was okay. She always worried about him just by listening to his voice. “It’s early.”

“I know,” she answered and again he looked at the clock. “I was surprised you even picked up the phone. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” he lied and fiddled with the cord, “Have an early morning meeting that’s all.”

“Oh,” was all she replied and there was a brief silence. In all his life he’d never had a silence fall into step in their conversations.

“Is everything okay mom?” he asked, finally breaking that barrier.

“Yes. Why do you ask?” she answered a bit too quickly. He shrugged and slowly stood up.

“Because…” he began then stopped; if it was bad news he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t need to hear it. So he just changed the subject. “Never mind. Look I have to go get ready for work.”

“Oh okay…” she answered, she seemed a bit upset. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you kid,” she told him and he smiled and told her he loved her too before quickly hanging up and heading for the shower.


Britney got out of the shower and ran her fingers through the damp locks before pulling the towel once again more securely around her torso. The past few days had been strange, with Zeke and the wedding. She didn’t know if it was even going to happen. The sparkle of her diamond engagement ring stared at her from the corner of the sink and she wondered what it would take to ‘accidently’ knock it down the drain and forget about it.

“Britney?” She sighed; it was all too good to be true. She couldn’t forget about it, not when he was standing right outside the door.

“Yeah?” she called and reached forward to quickly replace the ring on her finger; again her thoughts lingered on the image of it falling down the drain.

“Are you almost done in there?” He sounded angry and she took in a deep breath; trying her hardest not to yell back at him. “You’re making me late. AGAIN.”

“Be out in a minute,” she called back and looked around the room to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything before turning around and opening the door to a very annoyed looking man.

“Finally,” Zeke muttered and pushed past her to get into the bathroom. She wanted to say something about his attitude; to remind him that if he had kept his dick in his pants they wouldn’t be going through this. But just as she opened her mouth he slammed the door in her face.


“Hi Alex.” Emily smiled at him from behind her desk as he walked into the office. He smiled back and clutched the drink in his hand knowing it had been a bad idea to stop on his way to work.

“Um, any calls?” he asked nervously and breathed a sigh of relief when Emily shook her head at him. “Great.. I mean, um, good.”

“Is everything okay?” Emily asked; eying him in concern. He nodded quickly and opened the door that led to the privacy of his office.

“Yeah just, uh, tell anyone who calls that I’m busy ok?” he asked and she smiled at him, still wondering what he was hiding. “I just, uh, don’t feel like being disturbed. A lot of work.”

“Okay,” she nodded and he sighed in relief again, glad she’d brought the lie. “I’ll let them know.”

“Great. See you at lunch,” he told her and quickly stepped into the small office and shutting the door behind him before she could say anything else. He made his way over to his desk; depositing the cup in his hands into the nearby waste basket and sitting down.

He opened up his laptop and turned it on; wanting to just immerse himself in work and try and suppress his bad mood and feelings. But as his eyes wandered over to where the half empty cup of coffee lay in the waste basket he felt that feeling come over him again.

He once again felt bad for the young woman as well as for himself. He shouldn’t have been listening to her conversation; it wasn’t right. But the memory of the way she’d looked at him; as if he’d committed the greatest crime known to man kind haunted his thoughts.

He tried to control his feelings and reached over to the phone to dial the numbers that were etched into his brain. He waited for what seemed like a while; quickly hanging up after there wasn’t an answer. He sighed and rubbed his temples as the computer came to life; asking for his password. He just needed to talk to someone; someone that would answer the phone.

“I thought you were working.” Alex looked up and smiled. As if on cue his prayers had been answered.

“I, uh, I couldn’t find the file,” he lied and closed the laptop so Howie wouldn’t see the turned on computer screen. “Uh, what’s up?”

“Just wanted to see if you’re still up for tonight,” Howie grinned and walked into the office, shutting the door behind him. He noticed Alex’s skeptical look and rephrased his sentence. “I mean you are still coming out tonight right?”

“Uh…” Alex fumbled and quickly looked away from his friend’s gaze; trying to find something, anything, to distract him. “Sure.”

“Alex?” Howie asked; knowing something was up. Alex looked up.

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on with you man?” Howie asked and sat himself in the chair opposite Alex; causing the younger man to look at him. “Are you okay? You seem a bit..”

“I’m fine,” Alex automatically replied and cringed. That was the wrong thing to say. He’d slipped back into his old habits.

“No you’re not,” Howie answered immediately catching on to the lie. He had known Alex too long to know when something was up. “You’re not…”

“No of course not,” Alex answered quickly and sighed as Howie raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean it D. I’m not.”

“Then what is it?” Howie asked his friend. “Because the way you’re acting…”

“The cravings have been coming back,” Alex quickly admitted with a sigh of relief glad that he could talk to someone. Howie’s eyes went wide at the confession; suddenly very worried for his friend.

“They did? When?” he immediately asked and Alex nodded his head.

“A few days ago, after Tay and I broke up.” He decided not to bring up the little fact about the coffee shop otherwise he knew his friend would go to all lengths to stop him from going there again.

“Dear God Alex,” Howie exclaimed and shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me? Does Kevin know?”

“I called him a few times…” Alex’s voice trailed off remembering how only a few minutes ago Kevin wasn’t picking up his phone.

“You know every time you get a craving you should call him right?” Howie asked; full concern etched over his Latin features. Alex looked up and nodded. “Alex this is serious we don’t want you falling into deep waters again.”

“I know,” Alex said and let out a ragged breath. “I just… I tried calling him this morning and he didn’t pick up.”

“Oh,” Howie replied and frowned. It wasn’t like Kevin to not pick up a call from one of his clients. “That’s strange.”

“Yeah it is,” Alex agreed and looked at his friend. “I’ll try him again later.”

“Uh, okay,” Howie nodded but was unsure if Kevin would pick up. He’d known Kevin for a few years now and was the one who suggested him to Alex when things started to go wrong. “You want me to call him too? Make sure he knows you need him?”

“No,” Alex replied and shook his head. That was the last thing he needed. His best friend calling his sponsor on his behalf. It would make him look, well desperate, like he couldn’t get on his own two feet. “I’m sure he knows.”

“Okay,” Howie nodded and stood up, he still sounded unsure. Alex gave him a smile of reassurance just to make him feel better. “But if you still need me to…”

“Yeah I know,” Alex responded, “I’ll let ya know.”

“Good,” Howie smiled and made his way to the door. “See you at lunch?”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed and watched Howie give him one last look before he stepped out of the room; worry etched all over his face.


“God I feel so guilty,” Britney stated as she and Emmy sat down for their well deserved lunch break; the images of the young man still haunting her thoughts.

“Why? Did you finally tell Zeke to get a life?” Emmy asked looking at her expectantly.

“No not really…” Britney began and Emmy let out a large groan.

“I can’t believe you!” Emmy said in aspiration and took a bite of her sandwich; chewing and swallowing before she spoke. “Why are you still with him? After what he did?”

“Because…” Britney replied and sighed; hanging her head. “You know why.”

“Yeah I do,” Emmy snorted and crossed her arms over her chest; Britney was like a little sister to her and it hurt her to see her friend going through so much yet refusing to do anything about it when she knew she could. “But I think you’re better then that.”

“I know,” Britney sighed and looked into her cup of tomato soup. “You’ve said that before.”

“And I’m saying it again. Damn Brit…” Emmy began but stopped as a though occurred to her. “Do you want me to tell him?”

“What?” Britney asked; suddenly looking up, her features full of shock at the absurdity of Emmy’s offer. “No! I mean, you know what will happen if you do that.”

“Yeah but Brit,” Emmy said her tone softening just a bit as she leaned forward and grasped the younger woman’s hand. “In the long run it’s for the best.”

“Yeah I know but…” Britney sighed knowing her friend was right. She needed to get out of the relationship; it was beginning to work its way under her skin and it was beginning to show.

“Time to get back to work girls,” Joey stated, interrupting their conversation as he entered the break room and gave them a small smile. “You okay Brit?”

“Yeah she’s fine,” Emmy replied for her and stood up. Britney could hear the cold, hurt anger in her voice and winced. She didn’t mean to upset her friend. “We’ll be out in a sec.”

“Okay then,” Joey answered and raised an eyebrow at Emmy as if to ask if she was sure. Emmy nodded and glanced down at her younger friend before looking back at the manager. “I’ll see you out there.”

Once Joey had left Emmy sat back down and looked at Britney.

“Look. I know it’s hard for you to accept but I’m tired of bullshitting around you ok? This getting out of hand. I mean look at you, you look like someone who’s mother just died not someone who’s about to get married,” Emmy stated bluntly. “So you need to do something about it.”

“I know,” Britney replied softly knowing her friend was now beyond upset.

“I don’t think you do,” Emmy told her and stood up again getting ready to leave. “Because if you did then you’d have already done it.”


Alex took a deep breath in and closed the door behind him. He was the last one to leave the office that day and it was unusual; usually he was one of the first along with Howie. But when his friend had come by earlier to ask if he was ready to go he’d lied and said he had a few things to clear up when in fact all he’d done since four thirty was sit and sulk.

He’d tried to call Kevin again; but his sponsor still wasn’t answering the phone and this made Alex antsy. He really needed to talk to him and felt as if he was being avoided. He sighed and pulled out his phone as he walked across the lot to get to his car.

“Hello?” Kevin picked up after the third ring and Alex let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey Kev,” he tried to sound smooth and calm but it didn’t come off that way.

“Alex…” Kevin’s voice trailed wondering why he was calling. “Is, um, everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’ve been trying to reach you all day,” he answered as he reached his car and opened the doors.

“You have?” Kevin certainly sounded surprised.

“Yeah,” Alex replied with a nod getting into his car.

“Sorry about that,” Kevin replied, there was a true sincerity to his voice. “I was out of town. Family emergency.”

“Oh well…” Alex let his voice trail off. He felt bad for disturbing the older man, especially during a family emergency.

“But its ok,” Kevin reassured hearing the doubt in his voice. “Do you need to talk?”

“Uh…” Alex answered and wondered if he should tell him. He knew he was supposed to; after all Kevin was his sponsor but he didn’t feel like burdening the man. “No. I was just checking in.”

“Well okay then…” Kevin answered; his voice trailing off. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back next week?”

“Sure,” Alex answered and brushed it off. “I’ll see you next week.”

“Okay see you then,” Kevin answered and Alex hung up. He sighed and leaned back in his seat; taking in a few breaths trying to calm down his mind and reduce the craving that had slowly crept into his throat. Looking straight ahead he turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot; not even thinking about his next destination.