Chapter 34
Amanda had been dating Brian for almost two weeks now. She enjoyed his company, but there was something about him that scared her....he was completely perfect. Amanda had tried desperately to find a flaw in him, to find something wrong with him...but there was nothing. He was emotionally stable, had a good and steady job...took care of himself, cleaned, cooked and was a wonderful boyfriend. He was always on time for everything right down to the last second, was well organised and always did the right thing. Most women would love to have such a perfect man, but it was making Amanda sick to her stomach. She cared for Brian a great deal, but just did not feel the same way as she did towards Nick, who was full of flaws. Nick was always late, very spontaneous. He never thought before doing things, which led him to making bad choices. Nick always seemed to get into trouble and she would bail him out. However, he did have good points too. Nick was very thoughtful and tried to make up for his mistakes with kindness. He had a troubled past but became a better person from it, whereas Brian had the perfect family of a mom and dad who taught him right from wrong and taught him manners. They were two extremely different men, but Amanda was having a hard time choosing who she wanted to be with. After contemplating it for a long time, she decided it was time to talk to Brian. One night, Brian had taken her out for dinner and had walked her up to the porch.
"Can we talk for a bit? I want to say something." Brian said suddenly. Amanda nodded and the two of them sat on the porch swing next to one another.
"I actually want to say something too," Amanda said. He smiled at her, his blue eyes twinkling.
"Amanda, I know we haven't been together very long, but-" he began. Amanda did not really hear much of what he said, all she could think of was what she wanted to tell him.
"I love you, Amanda." Brian's voice jarred her out of her thoughts and she stared at him, blinking in disbelief. He had just told her he was in love with her. This was not what she wanted at all and it actually scared her that he was saying it so soon....they had not been together for a month yet and he had fallen already. After he spoke the words, Brian's eyes watched her carefully for some sort of a reaction, an inkling she felt the same way, a sign that she loved him too. The smile started to fade when he saw there was nothing there in her expression to suggest any feeling at all.
"Brian...." she said finally after a few moments of awkward silence. The tension was slowly building and Brian's heart was pounding inside his chest.
"Don't you love me?" he asked tentatively, his eyes boring into hers.
"Brian....I care for you a lot, and you have done so much for me." Amanda said, searching for the words. Brian's smile faded more and his heart began to sink.
"But..." he mouthed as she said the word. He knew it was coming, but did not expect it tonight.
"I look at you as a brother....I don't love you the way you need me to love you back....I'm sorry." Amanda told him. Brian's chest grew tight and he fought off the urge to shed tears. He collected himself quickly and forced a smile for her.
"I understand..." he said although he wanted to scream. More fake smiles followed the first one and his hands were shaking, which he hid by stuffing them deep in his pants pocket.
"Brian, I really like being with you, but I just don't feel that connection." Amanda said, her words cutting him. Brian stood up and nodded, still smiling at her.
"I respect your decision." he said flatly and without emotion. Amanda looked at him skeptically, there was no way he could not be upset after something like this. A normal person would be crying or reacting in some way.
"Brian...." she began, but he was already walking away from her and towards his house. Amanda watched him close the door. She felt the tears come and her own heart was breaking. She did not understand why she felt so bad....she had not felt the same way Brian did about her. She looked up and was a little upset that nobody was there to comfort her this time. Burying her head in her knees again, she sobbed for a bit until a noise startled her.
"Hey," Nick's voice called. Amanda quickly dried her eyes and put on a smile for him as he sat down on the swing next to her. He smelled of beer but was not drunk.
"Hey."
"You all right?" Nick asked, his head turned to the side like a dog's. Amanda laughed a little when he did this, it was a habit he had.
"Not really, but I will be okay. What's up?" Amanda asked with a grin. Nick's presence was soothing to her, she felt calm around him.
"I had a nice chat with my lawyer and they are looking into how I can get out of this marriage with her. Turns out some friends of mine were at that party that night and saw her drug me." Nick explained with a sigh.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Nick. You are lucky she did not do any damage to your body."
"Yes, I am very lucky. And to top I it all off, the sleazy place we got married in may not have a license. So hopefully I will be rid of her!" Nick said happily. Amanda smiled and nodded, was this what she had been hoping for? She had really enjoyed Brian as her boyfriend, but couldn't handle the perfection. She had even asked him if he could sing and he had a beautiful voice..there was no flaws at all. Amanda liked Nick because he WASN'T perfect, she loved his imperfection and it made him human.
"So I suppose you won't tell me why you were crying, huh?" Nick said, his arm around her and rubbing her shoulder gently. She smiled and shook her head.
"I think you should go and check on Brian." Amanda said softly, trying not to think of what state Brian was in. She figured his father had told him that real men don't cry. Brian's parents were very traditional and liked Brian to be a well mannered child. Nick, however would cry. He would cry no matter who was looking or where he was, those tears would fall. Amanda watched Nick go into Brian's house and then she went into her own, making a mental note to never dump anyone again.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Uhhhh so yeah...might need the tissues for this one, folks.
