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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the long delay. As some of you might know, my husband and I were in the process of moving out from a tiny little apt. that we shared with our three cats to our very first home. So I was out of internet and time to update. Mostly everything is taken care of, we are nice and settled.

Now with that out of the way, I bring you the latest chapter. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.


Spending the day with my good friend was both refreshing and enlightening. I was still in awe about her story. Having stood on the outside watching their love unfold I’d always thought that it was something that had happened instantaneous. You think you know someone. I just can’t believe I’d never heard the story before, of course I’d never asked.

I had such a fun day with her that I dreaded the ride back to the venue. Leigh had left strict instructions to have all of our purchases delivered the proper rooms. I knew you could do things like that; I just never witnessed it before. When you have money, all things are possible. The day had also been a revelation of the two different worlds we belong to and it left me pondering how two women from two different social classes could remain such good friends. We had started on the same platform and I viewed her as someone more tangible, even though I disliked her at the start, but the walls came down, the claws retracted and the borders were crossed. I’d been distracted by crossing the line from foe to friend that I never really notice the transformation. How Leigh had graduated and been promoted to a higher rank on the social ladder. I was just begining to notice it now.

The last day of any tour is always the craziest. Pranks galore all around, it is a tradition that they have kept since the start of their careers and you can be certain that Nick anticipates this day from the second they hit the road. He aches for this day and sometimes as you already know, he can’t wait and lets a few slip out. It gets harder for him to contain himself the closer we get to the end. It is in those days that I love to watch him, I am reminded so much of Bevis and Butthead during these days. Specifically Beavis, when he is on a sugar rush and becomes the great cornholio asking around for T.P. for his bumhole, trembling and shaking from a sugar high; that’s Nick, yearning for the last day so he can fully unleash the prankster that lives within him and AJ’s doesn’t stay too far behind either. He bears his share of responsibility to the most insane night. I’ve quietly dubbed those two as Beavis and Butthead- AJ’s Butthead of course. Leigh’s the only other person who knows of the nicknames I’ve given them.

I feared that Nick would be out to get me bad tonight so I kept my guard up. I was beginning to wish he hadn’t accepted me into the “gang”. But he didn’t attack me like I thought he would. Not as bad anyway, he did glue the lens cover to my camera, but that was it. His main focus tonight had been the rest of the band members. There was some soft mushy stuff ( I don’t really want to know what it was) that he put in Howie’s shoes that made a squishy sound every time he stepped down on it. Even Lauren and Bailey were not exempt from his attacks, though he took it easy and tamed the beast a bit for them. He gave Bailey a stick of fish flavored gum. Not one of his most original ideas, he’d given their former tour manager one in the early days, so it was nothing new but Bailey thought it was genius and had suckered Nick out of a stick for himself. He ran over to his father offering the newly acquired stick of gum. Of course, Brian knew what it was but he still took it and unwrapped the foil paper. He put it in his mouth and braced himself for the foul flavor he knew he would taste. Bailey laughed as his father made some of the funniest faces he’d ever seen. “Eeeww. Bailey.” He said pretending that he had been completely unaware and the little replica of himself smiled in triumph.

I have to say the funniest moment of the evening was when he glued AJ’s microphone to the stand. Nick almost laughed his balls off when he saw AJ’s face as he tried to remove it from the clip. Still singing he turned to the blonde devil and gave him the look, only succeeding to make Nick laugh even more, missing his cue. I watched him try to rip the mic off. He held down the stand with one hand and tried to pry it with the other, when that didn’t work, he tried again only this time he placed his right foot at the base and used his weight to pin it down. There were a few laughs in the crowd. He gave up after the third unsuccessful attempt. I watched in amusement as he struggled to maneuver the stand and his movements when the dance sequence came on. The evil little girl inside of me took delight at the sight. This has to be my favorite day of all, the longs hours, the traveling, the demanding schedules, it’s all worth it to see this night. Watching them have fun and being goofy, it brings a different feel to the environment, everyone is always happy on that final day. Even I couldn’t keep myself from smiling.

But sadly all good things must come to an end.



~



Back in my hotel room, I received another phone call from my mother asking if I’d be joining them.

“Yes mom, I told you like a million times already, I’ll be there. My flight leaves tomorrow morning.”

I don’t know what it is about her, why she keeps asking me this. After all these years, she still hasn’t learned that when I say I’m going to do something, I do it. Mothers, huh?

That was all it took, another damn phone call. I’d spent all day feeling rejuvenated and actually very chipper. I had a great time, one of the best days of my life, and one little tiny phone call dampened it all. She kept mentioning Sammie’s wedding and how much fun we were all going to have planning it. I wished she would stop; doesn’t she know that she’s torturing me with all this marriage stuff?

After my little chat with my mother, which I did my best to cut short, citing exhaustion and that I had to be up early for my flight, I walked down the hallway and hopped in the elevator. I pressed the button for the first floor and made my way to the bar. I know, alcohol is not the answer, it solves nothing and only brings more complications, but screw it, we’ve all been there a time or two. Stop me if I lie.

I sat on the bar stool and leaned onto the counter with my elbows resting on the cool surface and waited for the nicely dressed man to come over. “What can I get you, Miss?”

“A shot.”

He nodded. “Tequila?”

“Yes.”

The days leading to this night I had been invited again to join them for lunch, for dinner, for a night out not just by Leigh but now Nick and Lauren as well but I respectfully declined every invitation. Seeing Alex outside of work environment really pissed me off. I kept thinking about the night outside of the diner, how dare he raise my hopes up like that and then crush them. And we never did speak after the show, like he said we would. Jackass! I emptied the contents of the small glass the bartender had filled for me. I felt the surge of heat travel down my throat.

Maybe the person I should really be mad at is myself, maybe I’d read things the wrong way. Maybe he’d only been trying to be polite, but I could have sworn that night, standing outside in the parking lot while everyone else finished their meals, I had seen a hint of the old Alex. My Alex, that’s what I called him. That kid I would stay up late at night with watching re runs of Mr. Ed and Green Acres, that was my Alex.

As I drank another shot and another and another I was becoming more convinced than ever that he was gone forever. The more I drank the more I was convinced that was the plain and simple truth. It was as if my best friend had died and I was just now facing the reality of it. I took another shot of tequila and began sobbing. I was blaming Alex for all of this and that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t just him that had me in a mess right now. It was everything. It was him. It was Sammie. My mother, my family, the wedding, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my thirtieth birthday nearing the corner. My sister and her perfect wedding, mom always trying to shove a husband down my throat. I had enough of it! I asked for another shot. I held the glass to my lips and pictured it all. God, I’m alone.

“Whoa, whoa, slow it down.” I heard a voice say.

I looked up and saw Alex standing there. Now he’s gonna lecture me about drinking? Really? I don’t think so. I forced the fluid down my throat and looked at him in triumph. A silent fuck you. He cocked his head to the side and looked at me with eyes I hadn’t seen before. As if he knew what I was going through that moment. As if he had been there before. I felt exposed now and I wasn’t liking the feeling. He sat down on the stool beside me and nodded.

“Can I get you anything?” The bartender asked him.

“Yeah, I’ll have what she’s having.”

“Should you really be drinking?” I questioned.

I could see him thinking about it. “Fuck it. Why not? Fuck it all.”

That was when I realized that he looked as bad as I did. Perhaps I’d been wrong. Maybe he hadn’t been where I was at, maybe he was there now.

“We’re getting shit faced tonight Gracie. You and me, pumpkin. On me.”

I laughed. He was about three or four shots too late for that. I was already pretty messed up.

Maybe it’s wrong of me, but that night was turning out to be the best night I’d had in a long time. Again I was feeling like I had my Alex back. We sat there chatting away like we were old friends. We were technically, but it felt like we hadn’t missed a beat, laughing the night away.

“Maybe we should head back.” I suggested. “Ronnie’s probably worried sick about you.”

He swallowed a big gulp of beer. “Nah, I highly doubt that.”

“Right, she’s probably gonna come marching down here any minute now and rip off our heads. You for drinking and me for not stopping you. Where is she anyway? I haven’t seen her much.”

To think about it, I hadn’t seen her at all this past week.

“She sticks to you like-”

“Like glue, I know, you’ve mentioned that before.”

He remembered. It felt kind of good to know that he remembered what I said and it even felt better that he remembered that night. He hadn't just brushed it off. Speaking of that night, Alex had said she was sick. I started wondering if it could be something more serious and if she had seen a doctor.

“Yeah, you won’t be seeing her anymore either.”

“Why is that?”

We broke up; she went back home.”

“When?” Okay I didn’t know this girl well but she had seemed like a nice girl and they looked like they were happy. Never did I see any signs that there might have been trouble. I know I don’t hang around them every day but I can usually tell when one of Alex’s relationships is going south, we all can. He's pretty transparent, but this one he hid well.

“In Atlanta, the night before the diner.”

“That’s why she wasn’t there?” He looked down at the counter and nodded. “You said she was sick.”

“Yeah she was, sick of me apparently.”

“Oh, Alex, I’m really sorry about that.” I didn't know if I should ask more about it or just let it go. I didn't want to pry and I know I sure as hell didn't want to talk about what was eating at me.

He ripped his eyes away from the counter and looked up into the air, staring at nothing. “Hey, remember that time you broke your mom’s vase?”

“The one my grandmother gave her… that belonged to my great grandmother?”

“Yeah that one. You came over to my house and I help you put it back together with crazy glue. Dude you were scared shitless, you thought she was going to murder you.”

“Yeah I remember that.”

“Hey, did she ever find out?”

“If she did, she never said anything. I mean she had to have noticed it, we did a piss poor job putting it back together, but she still to this day hasn’t said anything.”

Conversation dropped for a mintue and there was an uncomfortable silence. I fiddled with my glass of rum and coke that I was now sipping. We shared a few a awkward glances. I felt a wave of relief when he broke the silence.

“So you know why I’m here. Why are you here?”

I clenched on to my glass and squirmed in my seat.Not quite the topic I had in mind. I was hoping I could get through this night without having to do this.

“It’s late. I think we should call it a night.” I stood from the bar and as I turned to walk away, he grabbed my arm.

“Don’t go Gracie.” The sound of his voice, saying my name, almost pleading with me, made me stop.

“Don’t go, please, not yet.” I just stared at him, dumbfounded. “I miss you, Grace. I miss my friend. I want her back, I know I’ve made some poor choices in the past that tore us apart but I want what we used to have.”

So did I. I wanted it so bad, I just never realized before how bad I wanted it, or how much I had missed him. I sat back down and took a really big gulp of my drink.

“My sister’s getting married.”

“Sammie?!” His eyes widened.

I nodded.

“Little Sammie, I can’t believe it.”

“Yes, well, believe it. Samantha’s getting married to her perfect boyfriend Alvin. Sam. Sammie! My sister. My little sister is getting married and I don’t even have a boyfriend. I haven’t even dated in a long time much less have someone serious in my life. And then I have to go see them for the holidays where I know all that anyone’s going to talk about is Sammie getting married. Samantha this, Samantha that, and hey Gracie, look you’re little sister can do it, you can do it too. Well fuck Samantha and her chipmunk fiancée!”

Since the night I had received the news, I’d kept it all bottled inside of me. It had been tormenting me somewhat and now in one moment of desperation, I had let it all out. And to the person I had least expected to.

Alex just sat there quietly, letting me rant until I was blue in the face. I could feel the tears fighting to seep out but the last thing I wanted was to cry in front of this man. He watched me attentively. I’m not sure what was going through his mind at that point but I was beginning to regret my little outburst. He must think I’m nuts.

He reached over and gave me a sympathetic pat on my hand before grabbing in tightly. He looked into my eyes again and with a straight face he said, “His name is Alvin?”

His eyebrows furrowed.

I let out half a chuckle and nodded.

“Two more shots of tequila over here.” He hollered at the bartender. “I think you need a couple more.” He said to me and slid them towards me after the tiny glasses had been filled.

I had been drinking prior to Alex’s arrival, I didn’t think I could manage shoving those two down my throat. “No. I can’t, you drink that one. You need it too.”

“Nah, I think you need it more.”

“No seriously Alex, I know my limit and think I reached it about three drinks ago. Or four but who’s counting?”

“Alright then, here’s to life and all the fucking bullshit it throws at us. Fuck it all!”

“Yes! Fuck it all!”




~




Alex had to help me out of my seat and I had to lean against him for support with a firm grip around my waist he guided me out of the bar. Somewhere during our walk I broke down in tears and he held me in his arms. And then I cried more because I was crying in front of him.

“Everything will be okay.” He whispered and despite the past years of absence, I believed him. Standing there in his arms I actually felt like things would be okay. He brushed my hair out of my face and tenderly pressed his lips against mine. At first, I didn’t understand what was happening but two seconds later it processed. I stiffened and pulled away, looking at him dumbfounded.

“What?” He smiled. “It’s not like I’ve never kissed you before.”

My eyes widened, “When have you kissed me?”I was certain that never happened.

“Oh no that’s right, I’m sorry. It was more like you kissed me.”

“You've lost your mind.” Now I was absolutely certain that that never happened.

“Yeah, you remember…that time sitting outside your house, we were playing and Chuck came along and held one of your Barbies hostage…remember that?”

So I had suppressed that memory to the point where I had nearly purged it entirely out of my head but now that he had mentioned it, I remembered it clear as day. We had in fact been outside my house like he said, I was playing with my Barbie dolls and he was playing with his little green army men when a kid from the neighborhood came and stole one of my dolls and threatened to rip off her head.

Alex chased after him until he was close enough and punched him in the face retrieving my doll before any damage was done. That had been the last time I had cried in front of him. I didn’t ever want him to see me weak and vulnerable like that again. After that day, Alex had insisted that we build a tree house, our own little place where we could play undisturbed. He begged and pleaded with his mom to let him build one until he had pestered her enough about it that she gave in. His grandfather helped him put it up. Naturally, me being a girl I wanted nice pretty things up there that most boys his age would have rather choose death over but Alex allowed it and let me decorated how I wanted, as girly and dumb it may have been.

Noting the look on my face, he smiled smugly knowing that he was right. I rolled my eyes. “I was six. And you rescued Emily. It was a thank you. I didn’t know any better, and F.Y.I. it was Emily’s idea.”

“The doll? Uh huh.”

“Yes, she told me to because you saved her life. She wanted me to thank you for her.”

“Gracie, seriously? You’re gonna pin it on the doll.”

“Well- doesn’t the hero ‘spose to get a kiss?” Okay my words at this point were a bit slurred and my grammar was way off, I knew it but that didn’t stop me from pouring out my words like I knew what I was saying.

He just looked at me with a strange look in his eyes, completely ignoring my protests and pulled me into him, kissing me fiercely. I wrapped my arms around his neck this time and kissed him back with just as much force.

I’m sure you all are dying to know what happened next (pervs) even though I’m sure most have you by now have a pretty good idea.

But before I attempt to recount the events of this night I must say that this is the part where things go from bad to worse. I mean forget the shit hitting the fan, the shit was plastered all over the walls and floors. You’re standing in the middle of it gagging, and you aim to run away from it, go as far as you can, leaving a track of shit behind you and as much as you try to clean the bottoms of your shoes you can’t get it off, and the stench is following you everywhere you go.

Yeah that was a mouthful, I know but I can’t think of a better way to describe the following events that took place. I was about to complicate things for myself more than I could have ever deemed possible. Had I known the half of it, I would have stopped it right there. But alcohol always has a way of impairing your better judgment. Shit happens; lines get crossed. Alcohol.

Chapter End Notes:
As always, thanks for taking the time to read, I hope you enjoyed it.