Brian: Thank you all for coming out! We've got a long program for you tonight, so we're going to get right to it.
Kevin: After a really long opening presentation?
Nick: Don't you watch these Award thingies? There's always a big opening number! You can't have awards without a long-ass opening number!
Kevin: Language!
*They advance on each other, glaring daggers.*
Howie: Guys! The award presentation podium is *not* the place to fight about this. You can argue later!
AJ: Oh they will…they will…
Brian: So, first up tonight are the nominees for Best Action or Adventure Fic!
Howie: Which Kev and Nick were just demonstrating for you by acting out a fight scene!
Nick and Kevin: Acting…yes…
Brian: The nominees are:
All I Wanted was some Cough Medicine by Mare, A Forgotten Nightmare by LenniluvsBrian, In the Shadowsby Starbeamz and Honey, On the Railsby Filiklepto, 00Carter by the Carter girls and On the Run by Mersey
AJ: And the Felix goes to…
All: …
Nick: Hey, Jay? The Suspense Award isn't until later in this program thingie.
AJ: Um…yeah. Guys, we've got a problem.
Kevin: Problem? Come on how hard can it be to read the winner?
Nick: I hate to agree with Kev, but--
Kevin: Why do you always have to argue with--
Howie (steps between them): Just read it. Quick!
AJ: Okay, but you're not going to like it. And the Felix goes to "
GottaBeMimi" for "
Deviation of Affection"
Brian, Howie, Kevin: …
Nick: What's the problem?
AJ, Brian, Howie, Kevin: …
Nick: I don't get it.
AJ: That wasn't one of the nominees, you Doof!
Nick: Huh? Oooooh!
Howie: So how did it win? These are the judged portions of the awards, right? The stories were all read, commented on, and scored based on a judging rubric.
Kevin: Right. It was set up in a way to try and prevent any favoritism or ballot-stuffing from occurring.
Nick: Psssst, Brian. What's a Doof?
Brian (ignores him): So how did a fic that wasn't even nominated win?
Nick: Because it's just that good?
Ziva David of NCIS: I must hold a protest!
Tony DiNozzo of NCIS: I think you just mean you want to protest.
Ziva: Whatever. I am misinterpreted completely in that…'story'.
Tony: Misrepresented
. Oh, I don't know, Ziva. You had a thing for me in it, right?
Ziva: If you value your tongue, you will not continue that plane of thought. I do not under any circumstances imaginable 'blubber' and am not 'boy insane'. And I seriously do not believe that Gibbs would ever 'snivelate'.
Howie: Train of thought, and I think you meant 'boy crazy'. *winks*
Ziva: Is there something wrong with your eye?
Brian: Excuse me. Not this isn't really exciting, and all, but we're trying to conduct an award ceremony here.
AJ: But Brian…how are we supposed to announce the winners if someone has tampered with the results? They're all like this! Best AU, "Getcha head in the game" by GottaBeMimi. Best Cliffhanger…We can't present these!
Shawn Spencer of Psych: I do believe I can help.
Detective Carlton Lassiter of Psych *groans*: Spencer…so help me if you're behind this…
Shawn: Don't be a hippo-sillysquater! If I had to guess, which I don't since I've got the whole divination thing going for me and all, I'd say that the one who did the tampering would be this "GottaBeMimi" individual.
Kevin: So…you're some sort of psychic? Where do we find this GottaBeMimi girl so we can get the correct winner envelopes?
Shawn: I can only divine one piece of information and right now I'm seeing…*raises his hands, placing a finger on each of his temples*…the Felix for Best Action/Adventure goes to:
And the runner up:
Tony DiNozzo: Well, it seems that Starbeamz is running a bit late tonight, and Honey is down in the infirmary being patched up from the opening number mishap, so I'd be happy to accept this award on their behalf.
Tim McGee of NCIS: Of course you would…
Tony: First, I'd like to thank--
Ziva: You don't need to make a speech. Just take the award, we'll give it to them when we see them in Interrogation. *she glares out over the audience*.
Tim (quietly, but a mic still manages to pick him up): Er…Ziva? I don't think anyone will consent to an interrogation. And we really don't have any suspects yet. So. Um. Maybe just some interviews?
Tony: Ooh! Like Red Carpet interviews. I always loved those. Getting to meet and greet all the stars. Everyone all dressed up and classy…The occasional wardrobe malfunction…
Ziva: Uch. We have a problem with that idea, Tim. I do not believe there is any carpet in here.
Tim: It doesn't have to literally be a Red Carpet. You see there's a tradition for award shows that the nominees and members of the Academy to get interviewed on their way into the theater. So…uh...if you don't mind, we'll be pulling people from seats and conducting some belated interviews on the Red Carpet.
Olivia Benson of L&O SVU: We conducted a few interviews already. We'll supply the tapes and help out with the investigation. (*Elliot hands a piece of paper over to Tim with Darby's name underlined on it*)
Aaron Hotchner of Criminal Minds: And my team would be willing to put together a profile.
Gil Grissom of CSI Las Vegas: And my CSIs can--
Kevin: Didn't you quit?
Gil: Didn't you?
Kevin: Point taken...
Tim: We better get started. *He motions for Ziva and Tony to follow him*
Tony: But…I have a speech prepared!
Ziva: Why? You were not nominated for anything here tonight!
Tony: DiNozzo Rule # 17. Always come prepared to accept an award…
Kevin: We'll consider it accepted. Thank you…NCIS? Is that something like CSI?
Tony, Tim, and Ziva glare at him.
Kevin: Right. Well. Thank you for your help, anyway. Now on to the next award.
Go on to the Next Award
Author
Topic: Felix Award for Best Action Adventure (1) (Read 5203 times)