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[RokofAges75]

Great chapter!  I love that Nick and Brian are messing around in secret, but Brian needs to man up and break it off with Leighanne instead of cheating on her behind her back.  I also enjoyed the meeting scene.  It makes me so angry to think about their managers making Brian postpone his surgery, forcing him to go back on the tour so soon afterward, and making him feel like his health was less important than sticking to the group's tour schedule.  Ridiculous.  It was sad to see that none of the other guys were really sticking up for Brian, except Nick, and even he wasn't very vocal during the actual meeting.  I've probably said this before, but I love how you're interweaving the romance with the real life drama with Lou and the heart surgery and all of that.

[FrickingKaos]

Thanks Julie! I think that was one of the things that started driving Brian away was the fact that nobody seemed to support him except for Leighanne. I feel that is the reason he hasn't left her yet, because he's so afraid to be alone. Sure he and Nick are messing around but at the end of the day he still is in that mindset of what is acceptable and what isn't.

I think stuff like this meeting happened in real life as well, I'm glad you feel it's realistic. Thanks so much for reading.

[RokofAges75]

That makes sense.  Leighanne definitely has Brian's back, and I think the fear of being gay is still at play for sure.

Oh, I'm sure meetings like that really happened.  From what Brian has said, it seemed totally believable.  That's what makes me mad.

[Carter-Orange]

Great couple of chapters to catch up on.  I agree that Brian is still scared of admitting he's gay, he's trying to lie to himself that he's straight and really does care for Leighanne, but she's not Nick.

The management make me annoyed, I'm sure they were just like that towards Brian when he had his surgery

[FrickingKaos]

Forgot to post here but I updated If I Knew Then to Chapter 26 about an hour ago LOL

[RokofAges75]

Glad to see this updated again!  I loved Chapter 26.  Good for Brian calling Nick out on being a hypocrite because he's only come out to one person himself.  And that shower scene... steamy!  I loved the description of Nick massaging Brian's biceps and shoulders.  Drool.  I was a little surprised Brian let him go in the back door just like that, LOL, but I guess they had to give it a shot sooner or later.  I think this is the first slash I've ever read that I've been able to take seriously and suspend my disbelief enough to enjoy.  I definitely have a different perspective on it after writing SAMS, but I still haven't read many slash stories, so it's a huge credit to you for developing their romantic relationship in a way that makes me root for them.  Keep up the great work!

[FrickingKaos]

LOL I am glad you enjoyed that shower scene, I was inspired by Brian’s shirtless gym photo and was able to come up with that description, I drooled while writing it.

It was about time Brian told Nick he was being a hypocrite because he can’t tell Brian to be honest when he himself is not being honest. it doesn’t work both ways, Nick lol.

As I told you on twitter, this was my first slash sex scene I wrote so I was very nervous to post this chapter as I wasn’t sure how it would read. I think all their fooling around led up to them finally having sex. I’m glad their relationship feels realistic cause that’s what I was going for. Thanks for all the compliments

[FrickingKaos]

Chapter 27 of If I Knew Then has been posted.

[RokofAges75]

Glad to see this story updated!  I enjoyed the new chapter.  I liked the back story about watching gay porn with Lou.  If Nick really were gay, it would make a lot of sense that that was what first made him aware of his feelings.  I was surprised but happy that Nick came out to Kevin like that and even happier to see Kevin accept him.  I wonder what Brian will have to say when he finds out that Kevin knows about him and Nick.  Looking forward to the next chapter!

[FrickingKaos]

Chapter 28 is now posted 

[RokofAges75]

I loved the new chapter!  Brian's being kind of a dick about this whole thing.  I'm glad Kevin talked to him about it.  Brian saying the words "I'm gay" aloud, even if he didn't mean to, is a big step.  Now he needs to be honest with Leighanne.  I thought the thing they didn't expect to happen next would be her walking in on them, but then I remembered they're in Nick's room, not Brian's.  I wish she would, though; she needs to know what's been going on behind her back.

[FrickingKaos]

After a long break i have updated If I Knew then to Chapter 29. Sorry it took so long.

[RokofAges75]

Yay, I'm glad you updated this again!  You threw me for a loop with the beginning of the chapter.  I wasn't sure if Brian was dreaming or if you had thrown a time jump in there.  I'm glad it was just a dream, although I wonder about the significance of Nick not being in some of the pictures.  Ooh, what's going to happen?  I can't wait to find out!  It's interesting that Brian interpreted the dream as suggesting that he should be with Leighanne because I interpreted it the opposite way - that marrying her would make him feel tied down and suffocated.  Looking forward to more!

[FrickingKaos]

*dusts thread off*

I know it's been a long time.

If I Knew Then has been updated to Chapter 30. Since I can't update it on AC since it's been down, I posted it here

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17574686/chapters/41421044

It's also available to read on Wattpad.

[FrickingKaos]

Chapter 31 of If I Knew Then has been updated on Absolute Chaos, Wattpad and Archive Of Our Own!