This topic is so interesting and complex. It's interesting to see your angle of looking at the boys as family. When you put it that way it makes so much sense.
I've only ever thrown myself into two fandoms in my life. Duran Duran and BSB. All the other groups I have enjoyed, I don't think I'd even be able to name everyone in the group. Seriously, I still don't think I can name all five of the nsync guys without help lol
I can say that I watched the last season of House of Cards and would have, even if Kevin Spacey was involved, because I loved that show and he was only part of it. I can also admit that I can never completely watch anything with Bill Cosby In it, without feeling a high level of disgust. Complex, see what I mean?
When it comes to the boys, my fandom has waned already, which you guys all know. Because it has, I can tell you the only way I would even know about this Melissa thing is through the two or three people who talked about it on my twitter feed. I barely follow any BSB fans really except for the few of you who post in here. You guys are the only reason I know about it. My point being, for whatever reason, this never became a big deal. So for me, it's never been a big deal. I have never been the type of person that will automatically side with a victim just because they are a victim. One of my best friends in high school was accused of raping his ex girlfriend in our senior year of high school. He was 18 and she was 16. They took him away in handcuffs and just like that, his life was ruined. He wasn't convicted, it never went to trial and charges were dismissed. Despite all of that, there was always speculation. He ended up moving out of state and starting over. Years later, that same girl admitted she made up the whole story because he didn't ask her to prom. So, yeah... That's how I think about things.
Everyone is entitled to think what they want. The problems start when you try to convince people your thinkng is the correct thinking. Just like politics, no one is going to ever win those arguments.
The family thing is the best way I could think of to describe that unconditional love. It's different because I don't really KNOW them that way, even though I've met them, but at the same time, they've been such a big part of my life for so long... I don't have many, if any, genuine, close friendships that have lasted as long as I've been a BSB fan. There's a dedication and a loyalty there that I can't just shut off. This is the only fandom I've ever been this devoted to, longterm. Most of the other things I consider myself a huge fan of are fictional stuff, like Harry Potter and The Walking Dead. It's different when it involves real people. I'm like you when it comes to other bands; I like a lot of different types of music, and so there are many bands and artists I enjoy, but I don't necessarily care about most of them as people - I just like their music.
This whole #MeToo movement has been weird to witness. On one hand, I do think people like Kevin Spacey and Bill Cosby, who have apparently been abusing others for a long time, should have to own up to their actions and face the consequences. It disgusts me to hear all these horrifying details come out about someone like Bill Cosby, who always seemed like a good guy. It just goes to show how well some of these celebrities hide their true character underneath a charming public persona. And who knows, that could be true about Nick, too. But I was never a fan of Bill Cosby the way I am of Nick, and that makes it different. It also seems like once the movement took off, it became trendy for women to accuse men of sexual abuse, and then it became a witch hunt. I watched the same thing happen to Chris Hardwick, who hosts Talking Dead, when he was accused of abuse by an ex-girlfriend. It looked like he might get fired from his show, but AMC ended up supporting him after they investigated it. I believe that, like Nick, he's also a good guy whose name was dragged through the mud by someone trying to take advantage of him because it seemed like the trendy thing to do. False accusations only hurt real victims. Women do lie sometimes, as was the case with your friend, and that's why I don't buy into the whole notion that women should blindly support other women just because they are women. No.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that's why I finally brought it up here. I haven't said too much about the allegations because I have friends in the fandom who totally disagree with me on this issue, but hopefully by now it's been long enough that we can talk about it without anyone getting their feelings hurt. I've seen friendships ruined on Twitter over this, and I hate to see that. It's also sad to see people struggling with their fandom over something that allegedly happened so long ago.
