Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[A-rok Obsession]

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!! *faints*

*tackles you*

[Nijntje]

i'll take a shot...

1) the whole cancer thing kinda just fell into place with the pace of the forum challenge. we did A LOT of research about it, especially during the testing phases of the story. we wanted to make sure it was factual and everything else. plus, it was interesting to take a nonfictional approach during those points.

I agree.. though in all honesty I must say that A-rok did most of the research!

2) we did lots of brainstorming, usually we switched off, just back and forth but it one of us was getting stuck or something, we'd trade. sometimes there were ideas that one of us thought about that got incorporated into the other person's add and vice versa. it was just a lot of back and forth. it took awhile to decide on the ending i think, we, well, not really argued, but debated on which direction to go in for a long time.

And again.. I agree! And yeah, no arguing involved! Just a lot of midnight (for me at least, but a lot of the time I think it was very late for A-rok too ) discussion about if we would end it the way we did or not.. And how to actually end it (what would the last chapter be about)

3) to me, nick is the easiest one out of the group to manipulate when it comes to emotions. because he's the youngest guy, and there's already so many rumors/truths/stereotypes surrounding his relationship(s) with kevin, howie, aj and brian, it was easy to play off of that. nick is kinda the glue that holds them all together because the need to help out their youngest brother triumphs over everything. plus, it's just fun to torture him. lol.

I especially agree with the last part rofl..
He just makes it too dang easy
But why Nick.. I think A-rok made it be about him (in the beginning we didn't have a lot of 'PF-meetings' because it was supposed to still be a forum fic).. At first I thought it was kinda hard, because I didn't feel like I 'know' him all that well. But he grew on me I think..
 
And looking back, I think it fits PF, because he IS the youngest and the others (especially Howie, Kevin and Brian) have (in real life) dealt with a lot of physical health issues, be it their own health or others close to them. As well all know, AJ has dealt with a lot of demons and mental issues, so for me it probably would have felt 'over the top' to make him deal with this too.
And because it wasn't Howie, Kevin or Brian, we could portray how they felt during the times their sister, father/uncle or his own health went downhill and how those times affected their feelings through the whole process with Nick getting sick. And how they sometimes act like assholes because of that.. (if you haven't read that yet, you're in for a big surprise)

[RokofAges75]

Hey Mare, are we getting a medical drama survey to go along with this month?

[mare]

Ladies I just want to apologize for not being around. I moved this past weekend and my internet is still not hooked up. I won't have it until Monday! And Julie, not by me. If you want to make one, feel free. lol

I promise when I am hooked up and online again i'll be back to my Oprah self

[RokofAges75]

Doh!  Somehow I knew you were gonna say that.  I don't wanna make one; I just wanted to answer one, hehe.

Anyone wanna make a medical drama survey?

[AJsKellyMouse]

This is the first story of the month that I've started reading...I haven't really read a whole lot of fanfic in a while though anways.  I've only gotten to read the first two chapters so far, but I think it's totally awesome!  I'm mad that I got the ending spoiled for me though now-I went in and looked at comments for the story and someone gave it away.  I'm still going to finish it though.  Congrats you two!!

[Nijntje]

Thanks everyone! I must say I was kinda getting insecure since hardly anyone said anything in here.. but I understand though! No hard feelings or anything 

[mare]

aww don't be insecure. I've noticed that there are always one or two weeks when no one says anything and then suddenly people get talkative. I'm sure it didn't help that half of us just moved as well lol i'm settled in and back online now though so you'll be hearing from me shortly.

[mare]

AHH! How annoying!! lol I just had all these questions made for you and when I hit the post button I got kicked offline!

So i'm trying this again.

1. How did the two of you come to work together?

2. Do you see yourselves writing a sequel to this one somewhere down the line?

3. What is your favorite chapter in this story and why?

4. Is there a favorite scene between any two characters you'd like to share?

5. Is there anything you wish you could have done differently while writing this story?

[Nijntje]

1. How did the two of you come to work together?
You mean how it got started? Due to the fact that PF was originally a forum-fic that nobody seemed to care about rofl but us.. Since it was only us writing it, I think I pm-ed A-Rok about working together (or she pmed me?? Not sure) and so we did.

2. Do you see yourselves writing a sequel to this one somewhere down the line?
I don't really think so.. I don't really see what else can be said about this storyline/idea..
I can see us writing another story together though!

3. What is your favorite chapter in this story and why?
I have several lol.. Skip this question though if you don't want to read any spoilers!!

Chapter 12&13&14: I think these chapters portray several things perfectly. One: The fact that Nick is scared he'll never have what Brian has. Two: Brian has faith that everything will be alright. Actually, he has enough faith for both him and Nick. Three: Because it shows how much Kevin cares about Nick and how he is scared of losing him.

Chapter 25: The chapel/candle scene. I am really proud of my own writing and thinking in that chapter! 

Chapter 34: This is where four of them have a huge fight. I love the tension in this one (written by A-rok btw), you can almost see them screaming at each other. And even though one of them was acting like an asshole, I can kinda see where he was coming from. So I was both angry and felt for him..

Chapter 55: I love the flashback A-rok wrote! It just shows the bond between them and the relationship between Baylee and Nick. I especially love this quote:

“Crowd in!” She handed the camera to Leighanne, “Come on guys! Act like you know each other!”

4. Is there a favorite scene between any two characters you'd like to share?
Hmm.. lemme check.. There might be several again, but I'll choose just one this time. It's from chapter 41, scene with Brian and AJ. Again, if you don't wanna read any spoilers, stop here!

Here it is:

“I’m sorry for what happened at your place. Those things I said, I was completely out of line. I- I completely lost it and could only think of how badly I wanted to prove my point, about being his best friend... but I guess I’m not..” Brian choked out.
It remained silent for a few minutes as the eldest of the two tried to control his emotions, while the other was waiting for him to continue, but eventually he was the one who spoke up. “You are, Brian. That’s why you care so much. Yes, I was about to kill you that evening and I was still angry as hell when I first saw you at the plane. Not seeing you for a few days has changed my perspective on things though. When I really, really looked at you on the plane, I saw how all of this has been affecting you, like it has been affecting the rest of us. We’ve never looked this shitty. God, we all lost weight, we hardly sleep anymore and have all aged ten years or so.”
“That bad, huh?” Brian sadly smiled.
“Yeah, but ofcourse I still look the best out of all of us.” A.J. smiled, but sadness replaced that smile when his mind wandered off to the days when Nick was the one who looked the best, according to the fans that is. Right now, he was no more than a shadow of how he looked back then.

“I- I just.. I don’t think I can handle another disappointment, Alex. I know y’all said it isn’t about me. But it is. It’s about all of us. To me, it feels like Nick isn’t the only one fighting this disease. We’re fighting just as hard. When I met him, he was just a kid. And now, over ten years later, he still is in some ways, but in other ways he’s grown so much. I watched and helped him grow. And now, I can’t help him fight this. There’s not a freaking thing I can do. And although I still think he CAN make it, the feeling he can’t is slowly starting to take over. I watched the kid grow up, I can’t watch him slip away from us. Seeing how he’s changed through all of this kills me. The sparkle in his eyes, it’s gone. The lighthearted kid, gone. The way he could always cheer us up, gone. The Nick we knew is already gone. And that hurts SO much. I’m gonna lose it if the day comes when we really, really lose him. I love that kid, he shouldn’t have to worry about chemo, pain, his funeral. For God’s sake.. he’s just a kid.. He’s my little brother.” Brian rubbed his face as he again felt how tears filled his eyes. Blinking them back, he turned to look at A.J. who was avoiding his stare.

But when he finally glanced at Brian, the eldest could see that he too was fighting to hold back the tears. Brian couldn’t recall the last time he had seen A.J. that close to crying. And that’s when he realized that he had never ever heard him talk about how he was feeling during all of that was going on. He knew better than to ask though, so he didn’t say anything for a few minutes, hoping that his friend might speak up. But he didn’t. So Brian continued to speak his mind, in need to get more things out in the open.

“Maybe it isn’t my place to ask, but.. Has Nick been talking to you about his feelings lately?”
”He has..” A.J. replied after he had tried to clear his throat a couple of times. “He has been talking about the four of us a lot. About how he feels guilty for what he’s putting us through. He’s been talking about you a LOT, Brian. About how you it’s been affecting you and how he’s been thinking of going somewhere so you wouldn’t have to see things get worse. He’s said he misses you quite a few times. Not that he feels you aren’t around enough, he understands you have a family too. Sometimes he even pretended to be asleep, so you would go home to Leighanne. He just  misses the way you two were before all of this bullshit. He just feels like.. He doesn’t wanna tell you, because he know you’ll feel guilty, but he.. He misses his best friend. You.. you are treating him so differently. He understands that you’ve changed, he know he’s changed himself too. He would just love to have that old thing between you and him, Frick and Frack against the world. And I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty, it’s just the truth. We’ve all changed..”

“We have..” Brian whispered. As he let the words sink in, A.J. continued. “Yes, we have. Damn, I’ve even been watching the kid sleep at night.”
“You what?” Brian asked in surprise. “You watched him sleep?”
“Yeah.. I know, cheesy huh.., but I had to make sure the kid was alright. For some strange reason, it was comforting to watch him sleep. Whenever he had a nightmare, I was there to help, sorta. I just found out he knows..”
“How? Not even a bomb can wake that kid up.” Brian smiled.
“Dunno. Howie said that Nick told him he knows. It’s so not me, you know..”
“Like you said, we’ve all changed..”
“Yeah, we have. You were right, Rok.. When you said that I never gave a damn about the kid when we were younger.”
“But how..” Brian asked as he felt his cheeks flush with red.
“I heard you. When you were in the studio with D., I ran over, ready to punch you in the stomach when Kev stopped me. He told me to go talk to Nick and that he would handle you. I wasn’t about to listen though and when he opened the door, I heard you say that. It hit home. Hard. You were right though. I thought he was annoying, always whining, tired or wanting some attention. You saw past that and you saw what was behind all of it.”

Brian nodded. He was still young himself when they met, but he instantly knew the kid wasn’t happy at home and had a lot of shit going on in his life. He knew Nick was lonely, and still a kid who was in desperate need of a friend. Brian became that friend, at first because he thought that it was sort of his responsability, being older and all. But later on, they became best friends because of the person Nick was, out of true friendship, not out of a feeling of obligation.
“I didn’t. So yeah, I didn’t give a damn about him back then. But things changed, Brian. Not only in these last few months, but these last few years. You know that. He’s my brother too, and every morning I’m scared that I’m gonna find that he’s gone, that the cancer has won. I found his will, Brian. His Goddamn WILL! He’s too fucking young to die.. He’s 25!!! He shouldn’t have to worry about that kinda shit. DAMN! He doesn’t know I found it.. but I did. And I couldn’t just put it down. He wants us to carry him to his grave, Brian. His GRAVE!” A.J. cried, followed by a whisper. “He’s been thinking about this stuff and he hasn’t been talking to me about it..”
Brian slowly shook his head. He pushed the thought of carrying Nick’s coffin to his grave aside. That was just too much to handle at this point. “Not to me either. I think he’s scared to. We’ve all been talking about holding on, not losing faith.. We just never-”
“Gave him the chance to talk about his fears..” A.J. finshed his sentence. “Damn.. we’ve all been screwing up a lot lately..”

5. Is there anything you wish you could have done differently while writing this story?
Yeah! Chapter 42: the scene where the guys are lost and ask a Dutch girl for directions..  I wrote that and I can't re-read it, it is just that awful  I would never choose to write it like that again..

Thanks Mare! 

[A-rok Obsession]

1. How did the two of you come to work together?

Like Nijntje said, it started out as a forum challenge deal and went from there. who woulda thought it'd turn into this massive story!

2. Do you see yourselves writing a sequel to this one somewhere down the line?

Mmmm, I don't think much can be done in the way of a sequel...it'd be really repetitive i think but a companion piece is something we talked about, or a whole other story. who knows! i'd be game for anything. 

3. What is your favorite chapter in this story and why?

Oh lord, ummmm,

~Chapter 11 because when i wrote the line about how BsB had changed fate a few times, it made me really think about how close (as fans) we've come to losing Brian and AJ and how much they've gone through (all of them) and the amazing guys they've turned out to be...and it made me respect them all over again.

~Chapters 18 & 19 because I love the moment between Nicky and AJ with the shaving of the hair, it was adorable and totally matched their personalities. I also liked the way we had Howie and Kevin's demons really come about in these chaps.

~Chapter 25 because I LOVE Nijntje's candle scene...I remember reading it and it gave me chills. I was like, 'dang, why didn't i think of that?!' lol. it's a kick ass scene and a kick ass chapter.

~Chapter 34 because okay, I really like the way I wrote the start of the chapter and the feeling between AJ and Nick...it's probably one of the chapters I'm most proud of.

~Chapter 58 because the flashback was absolutely adorable and cracked me up.

4. Is there a favorite scene between any two characters you'd like to share?

Hmmm, I've got two, the first one is between Brian and Nick:

The sounds of a coughing fit broke him from his thoughts and his eyes immediately snapped to Nick, a frown surfacing on his features.

"You okay Frack?"
"Yeah," Came the response after a moment of silence, followed by a deep intake in breath. "Just peachy."
A ghost of a smile appeared on Brian's face and he pushed himself away from the wall, shoving his hands into his pockets as he moved to stand before the blonde. "Doctor seems to be taking her sweet time, huh?"
"I guess." Nick nodded, a light grin surfacing on his face. "Thanks for coming and waiting with me Bri."

"I'm surprised you didn't want AJ here instead." The older man had meant the comment in all seriousness, but it flew out of Brian's mouth dripping with sarcasm, causing Nick to sigh softly, rolling his eyes as he shot Brian a glare. "We're back to that, huh?"
"I-"
"Brian, what the hell upsets you so much about me spending so much time with AJ?"
"I-I don't," Brian paused and raked a hand through his hair. "God Nicky, I don't know. I just....I wish you had stayed at my house."

The sentence was said very quietly and Nick almost missed it, a large frown taking shape on his tired features when he heard it. "Why? Frick it made no sense to stay at your house. Between Leigh and Baylee...I'd always be getting sick cuz of the chemo. I mean, we talked about all of this."
"I know! I know." The Southerner sighed again, gently leaning against the exam table next to Nick. "I just...things changed between us when Leigh and I got married. We got distant, and I felt it happen more when Baylee was born. Now all this crap is happening and I...I feel like I'm scrambling to make sure...if things...if things end, they end with us as Frick and Frack, you know?"
A small lump formed in Brian's throat and he directed his gaze to the floor. "Like how it used to be. The two of us...best friends. When I was the Frick to your Frack and there wasn't a day that went by when we didn't talk. Now...I-I see how close you and AJ are and I just....I just don't want you to go forgetting us. Forgetting us and our friendship and how it used to be."

Nick stayed silent for a long time, a sad smile on his face as he blinked back a few tears.
"Do you remember the talks we used to have about AJ? How I felt about him when I was just a kid?"
"Yeah," Brian nodded. "You always used to say he was a wannabe bad boy. And how you couldn't stand him most of the time."
"My relationship with AJ was never the best." Nick sighed. "I mean, with Kevin, he was my pain in the ass, older brother, father figure. Howie was my comic relief, my soft older brother who I knew would let me do what Kevin told me I couldn't." A laugh fell away from Nick and he looked over at Brian, nudging him softly. "And you were my partner in crime. My best friend. The one who understood everything and was always there for me. But AJ...by the time I actually got to the age that AJ wouldn't completely ignore me, he was already starting to slide downhill. I mean, Bri...I know AJ and I love him to death but I've never really KNOWN him."

"I don't really understand," Brian's eyes were searching Nick's, trying to see where he was going with his explanations.
"We had so many years of us, Brian. So many Frick and Frack times...I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. They were some of the best times of my life. I mean, there were plenty of times after you got married that I wished things could go back to the way they had been. And I wished that Leigh had never come into your life...only because I felt as though she had taken my place."
"She could never-"
"I know that." Nick interjected quickly. "But then I realized, that you can't rewind time.
Bri, we'll ALWAYS be Frick and Frack, just like we'll ALWAYS be the Backstreet Boys but OUR days are gone."
"They don't have to be."
"Yes they do Frick. They do because what existed during that time period could never exist again today. We had our time."

"So what are you trying to say? That you're replacing what we had with what you and AJ now have?"
Nick rolled his eyes at the statement, "Don't be so stupid Brian."
Brian's eyes narrowed and he shook his head, "You're the one saying-"
"I'm SAYING, that what you want isn't possible. You're trying to bring back something that died and it's not going to happen. We've grown apart Brian, yes. I admit that. But our friendship is still just as strong. You're looking at it in the wrong light. With AJ," The younger man trailed off and shrugged lightly. "I have all these memories with you and Kev and D but the ones I have with Jay....they could be better. This could be all the time I have left Bri. And I don't want to die wishing I had made more of an effort to strengthen my friendship with AJ."

"But that shouldn't mean you push the rest of us away." The Kentuckian muttered.
"I'm NOT pushing ANYONE away." Nick said with exasperation. "Listen to me Brian. Our friendship is solid. Nothing can shake me from you and nothing can take away what we've had and have. The same goes for Kev and Howie. But things with AJ have always been shaky. I'm just trying to solidify them. You understand?"

Brian stayed quiet for a few minutes, wondering when Nick had grown up. When he had missed the transformation from a goofy, shy little kid, to this mature and wise beyond his years person that sat next to him?

"I'm still your Frack, Bri." The youth added, "I've just grown up. Being in this situation has taught me a lot of things. And made me realize a lot more."


and the second is between Kevin and AJ:


Rolling his eyes, Nick pushed himself to his feet, taking in a deep breath as he felt the world tip for a moment before the feeling subsided. Grabbing one of the blankets, he wrapped it tightly around his body, pulling a chair over to the door quietly and sitting down as he pressed his ear to the door, a small smirk turning up the corners of his mouth when he found he could hear everything perfectly.
"...knows what he did was wrong. Give him a break Kevin." Howie was saying quietly. "He's under a lot of pressure-"
"We're ALL under pressure! That's no excuse!" Kevin sounded livid and Nick slowly shook his head. Shit was hitting the fan. "We have SO much crap to deal with concerning and Nick and now we have to worry about THIS?! I mean...GodDAMM IT...didn't you even stop to fucking THINK?"

"It was just a sip. I realize I fucked up Kevin but you're blowing things out of proportion. I'm not gonna start drinking again."
"We're supposed to believe THAT?" Brian's voice was incredulous and Nick felt a feeling of dread wash over him. AJ had drank. All because of him. Anger ran through his body and he shut his eyes, trying to hold back his tears. What had he done to them? Bringing his head away from the door for a moment, he sniffled, running a hand over his face as he let the guilt swirl around him. This was all his fault. His own stupidity was breaking apart the four people that meant everything to him. Taking in a shaky breath, he let his head fall gently against the door, catching part of Brian's sentence. "...ing on now is ten times more serious! How do we know you won't fall back into your old habits?" A long sigh reached the youth, "Maybe it's best if Nick move into one of our houses when we get back home. I think...I'm not sure it's best if you keep-"


"Now WAIT just ONE DAMM MINUTE!" The rebel shouted, "ONE tiny ass SIP of alcohol does NOT mean I am going to go running back to being an alcoholic! There's NO reason why I still can't take care of Nick!"
"AJ...AJ c'mon. Look, maybe Bri has a point, I mean, maybe Nicky should stay with one of us for a little bit. Give you some time to sort everything out. Maybe talk to your mom or an AA counselor." Howie suggested.
"I had ONE SIP! It means NOTHING! There's nothing to talk ABOUT!"
"Wrong. It means you can't fucking DEAL with all the shit going on now." The eldest snapped back. "Dammit AJ, we TOLD you to talk to one of us about this! Before it GOT to THIS! Now look at where you are! Retreating back to being a fucking drunk!"

"I AM NOT A DRUNK!" AJ roared and Nick jumped at the tone, slightly unnerved by the wavering he heard in his older friend's statement. "Don't YOU DARE ACCUSE ME OF BEING A DRUNK!"
"Guys...guys stop! This isn't the place....dammi t, Howie...help me get them out of here before they wake up Nick!" The youngest heard footstep coming towards the door and he reeled back, almost falling out of the chair in an effort to get back to the bed.
"WELL WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY?!" The footsteps stopped and Nick held his breath, his eyes darting to the bed before he leaned back against the door gingerly. "Your innocent, 'I've seen the light' façade is NOT going to work this time! A DRUNK is a DRUNK!!"
"Kevin! Kev STOP! Knock it the hell off!"
"I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING FAÇADE!" Came AJ's scream and the youth heard something go crashing the floor, the sound of it breaking into a thousand pieces seemingly echoing in the room. "You FUCKIN....I... AM...NOT...A.. .DRUNK!!"

"THEN WHAT THE HELL ELSE ARE YOU?! When ALL you can do in a damn CRISIS is run to a goddamn bottle of Jack Daniel's?!" Kevin's voice was dripping with disdain, his pitch low and almost in a growl, his every word sending shivers down Nick's spine. "You're reaction and abilities to handle this are PATHETIC."
"I-"
"Enough! ENOUGH.....NO! Back OFF Kevin!" The younger Kentuckian shouted. "Shut it AJ! Knock it OFF! Take this into your room Kevin....NO! I said ENOUGH! Howie, get them out of here! God only knows what would happen if Nick heard all this, I mean, Jesus. I'll meet you all in a minute. I'm gonna check on him."
"Shit!" The blond hissed, launching himself away from the door and practically flinging the chair across the room as he jumped into the bed. He had just tugged the covers over his body and shut his eyes when the door opened.


5. Is there anything you wish you could have done differently while writing this story?

There are little things throughout the story I've noticed just going back and re-reading and editing that bug me. Like when AJ calls Brian to tell him that Nick collapsed, he's using a pay phone and I have Brian pick up his cell looking at the called ID and seeing it's AJ. things like that but overall, i love our story. 

and i like the part you don't nijntje!! so hush!

[A-rok Obsession]

Thanks everyone! I must say I was kinda getting insecure since hardly anyone said anything in here.. but I understand though! No hard feelings or anything 

aww i thought the same thing but i'm horrible at posting on forums, i always forget so i have to keep that in mind. lol. 

[mare]

If a sequel is out, have you ever considered writing a companion piece? Maybe told in someone else's point of view or finding Nick's journal as he's going through this cancer battle. Just a thought or two for you lol

[Nijntje]

lol, we have thought about. Not discussed it yet though. The letters that are mentioned near the end of the story, could become the subject of the companion piece. But I like the journal idea too!! Thanks Mare

[mare]

I can't believe this month is almost over.

Here's another question for you both.

How did you feel when you finally completed the story? Did it make you happy or kind of sad that it was all over?