Date: 06/08/14 08:28 am Title: 26. The Most Fascinating Thing
I felt so sorry for Brian in this chapter. He's more like an obstacle for Leighanne than anything else, although it was nice to see, through her eyes, how in some ways he's getting a bit better, and she does seem to be concerned for him.
I was a bit surprised that he would be discharged when still too weak to walk, although I suppose they might arrange for physiotherapy once he gets back home. I assume he can at least get into his wheelchair...
I expect that in this chapter you are trying to show how Brian has become simply an object of curiosity to the world at large, precluding any consideration for him as a human being. I really hope Leighanne has it in her to tell off the crowd and get her family out of there. I also wonder what Brian will be thinking about the people staring at him and if he remembers why that might be...
So, I guess I'm voting for a Brian POV chapter next! I hope you write more soon. :)
Date: 06/04/14 07:06 am Title: 25. Unmistakable
Well, even if the Brian part of the storyline is my favourite, it was a good change to catch up with Howie's investigation. :)
I'm glad you've brought Caroline back into this. She must really like Howie, to be so cooperative. Their interaction is quite entertaining.
Based on that missing person report, I can only surmise that Peter has since been operating under a new identity. In fact, I think we've already met him, in chapter 10. I noticed that none of the internet search results yielded photos, so Caroline still doesn't know what Peter looks like. To expand on my theory, it also makes sense that he'd be with the press, as a way to keeping tabs on any news and information even before it becomes public. Maybe Howie and his new sidekick can track down this Seth Mackles...
In the meantime, I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Date: 06/01/14 04:07 am Title: 24. Destroy
Well, despite your reticence to comment on this chapter, I really liked it!
I'm glad you chose Nick to do this scene with Brian--they know each other so well and have been so close that it makes sense for Nick's instincts to guide him in comforting Brian. I also think you did a good job of describing, though Nick's eyes, how Brian manages to communicate without any words.
It seems to me that this is in fact a 'beginning of progress' chapter for Brian--before his mind was protecting him from what had happened, but now that Howie's question forced him to relive it, at least somewhat, now he can begin to try to face it and deal with it, and to my mind this was the first step.
All thanks to Nick's wonderful hug! Hey, I think you need some fluff in this story. ;)
I can't decide if I want to know more about what Brian's thinking or how Howie is doing. I'll leave that up to you. :)
Great work!
Author's Response: I am so glad you liked this one. Yes, Nick seemed the only person capable in the situation. He could very well be a great key in any further progress in the story ^^
Date: 05/27/14 01:42 am Title: 23. Make Him Pay
Well, good move by Howie to move his investigation forward, but probably not so good for Brian's help. I do hope he's not seriously damaged... that was a pretty intense seizure. Try to fix Howie's hand for me, okay? ;)
I wonder if this will set back Brian's release from hospital (I imagine). I have the impression that was one thing that prompted Howie to ask him this now; if he went home, he'd be too protected for the opportunity to present itself.
I wish someone would bring in one of Brian's favourite things, like his tuque or maybe play him some music. It's known that sensory experiences like that can help trigger memories. Maybe some Brian/Nick time could be upcoming?
I had to go back and reread the other chapters because it had been too long since I started reading your story. It hangs together better than I implied in my earlier review. It also reminded me of some things. It seems like Howie could either team up with AJ since he has some contacts or maybe call up Caroline and ask her to try to find Peter.
Looking forward to what you decide to do next.
Oh, and I think Howie could get in some good punches if he had the element of surprise! With his hand that's not broken, that is... :(
Date: 05/25/14 01:48 am Title: 22. Not A Good Day
I'm starting to really enjoy your story, and I'm glad you're continuing.
It's been a bit confusing with the various flashbacks at different points, but lately your storyline seems to be coming together and I can see the relationship between the scenes in the past and what is happening in the 'present'.
I think your deliberately introducing elements of inconsistency (depending on the narrator) is an interesting approach. It does cause some problems in terms of knowing what is going on, but I think it's an excellent exercise in subjectivity of points of view. I'm hoping that Brian's memories/flashbacks will turn out to be the most accurate, because so far I'm inclined to believe that is the case. I just hope he can somehow convey his thoughts before it's too late...
As far as what's wrong with Brian's phone that Harold finally revealed to Howie, I would say it has been altered/tampered with because why else would he not have answered it when (I surmise) they were trying to find Brian at the start?
I really like the way you've written the scenes of Brian's recovery... they're so poignant and heartbreaking/warming, depending on what's happening. This one was particularly good in how we get into Brian's head and understand the difference between what he's thinking and what he's able to commmunicate. His interaction with Baylee is the best, of course.
I have to say I hope this latest development (the reaction to Howie's question) doesn't cause a major relapse for him... hopefully Brian can in some way communicate that it's Peter.
Well, great work and please keep writing!
Date: 05/23/14 04:04 pm Title: 22. Not A Good Day
And its on!!! the mystery case to look and truly figure out who Peter is and why he did what he had done to Brian is so on!! I cant wait for your next update. I can't wait to read more from this story and I cant wait to find out who is Peter! I find it cute, that now Brian is awake, Baylee surely holds a special place in his heart. ^_^ I salute Howie for his dedication to solve this mystery. I hope to read more on this story. amazing job on the plot! :)
Date: 05/23/14 03:18 am Title: 22. Not A Good Day
Be sure, it is a great chapter. I like the insight to what Brian is now going through after the "suicide" attempt. So, there's some major memory loss? But now Howie has gone and triggered his memory of Peter. I wonder how you will have Brian communicate what actually happened. Or will he be able tell anybody about Peter? Is Peter going to make another appearance? staying tuned! =]
Date: 05/22/14 05:18 am Title: 21. Like It's 1999
Now its becoming clear! I gotta admit, I kinda figured something like this ought to happen sooner or later. :D i love this story! this got me hooked. mystery, action & drama all in one! Looking forward to the continuous chapter updates! :D
Author's Response: haha, I think I would have failed in my writing if nobody saw this happening XD
(there might be some kind of plottwist on my hands though)
Date: 05/21/14 04:15 pm Title: 21. Like It's 1999
Ooh ok. I can't blame Peter for his infatuation with Brian. Im wondering what Brian's reaction is going to be. This was one of my favorite chapters! Excited for the next installment. The club scene was cool too btw. Sorry for the short review. Work getting in the way of my fan fiction. Hehe
Date: 05/20/14 09:27 pm Title: 20. A Nice New Record
So now we've come full circle. I am still thinking Peter may be all in Brian's head. What's up with out going messages? Yikes. I didn't think the phone had made it when Brian threw it earlier. Is Brian going to recover? Ahhhh, so curious. Is Peter real? Will Howie be in danger if he investigates more? Your stories always throw me for a loop. I never know where you are going to take us next. I love that. I never want to guess correctly.
Date: 05/19/14 10:22 am Title: 19. Do It For Them
This is great!!!!! :D Your story plot is amazing!!!!! I liked it! :) And now the story is unfolding one by one. I can't wait for your continuous updates, and thank you for the fast chapter updates before. ^_^
Date: 05/17/14 08:33 pm Title: 18. Outrage
Can you feel my anticipation? My anxiousness? The curiosity must be radiating off of me. You must be feeling it! His (Brian) mood changes so swiftly, makes me think he may just be bonkers and is imagining things. Then again, if someone was threatening my family I would probably lose it too. I can't wait to see where you are taking this.
Author's Response: Yesh, yes, I can feel your anticipation, nothing compared to mine :)
I think when someone starts threatening your family for no apparent reason, your mood is going to be weird at some points ;)
Date: 05/14/14 03:13 am Title: 16. As Long As They're Here
Exciting new chapters. Peter sounds like an ex-lover or something. I am curious what exactly happened 7 years ago and who Peter is to Brian. This guy is totally nuts if he thinks that he has to get rid of "them" in order for them to be together. Um... How about no you crazy guy, go back to jaaaaail. Lol. But I love the drama for the sake of the story. Love seeing your story on the most recent page again. You're an amazing writer.
Date: 03/11/14 02:05 pm Title: 13. MY DARK FRIEND
Oh me, oh my! What is going on? I have so many questions. What happened to Brian and will the others ever find out? I just really wanted to let you know that you've got my attention with this one. I know it hasn't been updated in a little while but I can hope. Great work as always.
Date: 02/02/13 10:18 am Title: Prologue
I just read this story tonight and couldn't stop! What a great storyline, very well written and I can't wait to see what happens next. I just KNEW that there was something weird about him trying to kill himself - there had to be more to what happened. Thank you for writing a Brian story . . . .there surely aren't enough of those. Please update soon, I want to know who this "Peter" guy is and see how this mystery plays out. Brian, don't leave us.
