Chapter One

Brian Littrell looked around the court room nervously, his palms already sweating. He knew why he was there. That wasn’t the problem. The confusion lied in between the details of what had lead him to this fate. He looked beside him to the left with a simple turn of his head to see the Judge sitting next to him. To his right there was a police officer standing up tall and stiff, almost as if he were a statue. In front of him was his Lawyer on one side of the room with a pile of papers in front of him. At a desk next to him on the opposite side of the room was another Lawyer and the sobbing parents of Julian Edwards. Behind them were ten Jury members scattered around as well as friend and family of both himself and Julian. His friends, Kevin Richardson, Alex, also known as AJ, McLean, Nick Carter and Howie Dorough, were also there watching him. Waiting. The room was completely silent except for the ticking of a clock on the wall behind him. One could hear somebody breathing.

It had been exactly one month, five days since Julian had disappeared. Brian was the last known to see her. Alive or dead, nobody knew. Whether or not she was currently alive or not was still a mystery. Brian, however, was being tried for her disappearance and/or murder. Not a single trace of the twenty-eight year old woman had been seen or heard from for thirty-six days. Somehow, it had all come back to Brian.

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”

Brian jumped at the sudden booming voice echoing throughout the room. He looked up to see the Bailiff standing in front of him holding a Bible out before him to swear him in under oath. Beings he was very religious, he knew that he had to be honest in order to stay on good terms with God. He was nervous though. What if telling the whole truth was easier said than done. He swallowed hard, placing his hand on top fo the Bible, knowing that everybody was waiting on him.

“I...I swear.” Brian found his voice saying, knowing that the first day of what would be a lengthy court process was officially underway.

The Bailiff said nor did anything more as the Edwards’s Lawyer was called to the stand. He stood and walked before Brian, a large folder in his hands which he’d be reading from and asking questions from. Brian’s skin started to crawl in anticipation, wishing more than anything that he could scratch. He was handcuffed, however, restricting him from making any sort of movement with his arms. He was being treated like a criminal. A dirty criminal.

“What exactly happened on the last night that you saw Miss. Edwards?” Mr. Settina asked Brian, cutting right to the chase. There was no small talk here. Just business.

“I um...Julian came over to my house,” Brian found his voice saying, “She um..while I was on tour, I gave her a key to my place. That night, while we were together...I found a pair of boxers behind my bed...that weren’t mine. I’ve never had anybody in my bedroom besides Julian. Everybody else used guest rooms. I accused her of cheating on me. She um...she pretty much said that she had while I was away. I lost my temper. We yelled, screamed at each other. She slapped me and I um...told her to leave my home immediately. That was the last that I saw of her.”

“So, when you told Miss. Edwards to leave, she ran from your home?”

“More or less.” Brian replied

“And you haven’t seen her since?”

Brian shook his head in response, suddenly feeling tears welling up in his eyes. Things already weren’t looking good. That’s where his Lawyer came in though. To point all fingers away from him. He had loved Julian though. He’d never hurt her for anything intentionally. In fact, he hadn’t thought that he had. Emotionally, yes. That was a given. Their relationship had been pretty much flawless though. They’d been the perfect couple, always happy and affectionate towards the other. They’d hardly ever fought. So walking in to the fact that she’d betrayed him, and in his own home yet, had killed his soul.

“Mr. Littrell, have you seen Miss. Edwards since the fight?” Mr. Settina asked him again, looking for an answer spoken aloud.

“No, Sir.” Brian replied, looking him square in the eye this time.

“Do you have any idea where she might be?”

“No, Sir,” Brian replied again.

Mr. Settina nodded curtly, “Thank you Mr. Littrell, that’s all for now.” he stated before taking his seat again beside the parents of his girlfriend, or former girlfriend rather.

The room grew silent again. Brian looked past everybody at his four friends sitting in the second row of seats. They smiled at him inconspicuously to try and show him their support in this tough and trying situation. A situation none of them had ever dreamed that any of them would be in. As Brian’s lawyer, Mr. Williams, rose and came before him, Brian hoped that he was able to steer any suspicion away that Mr. Settina had thrust towards him.

“Mr. Littrell...you’ve said that Miss. Edwards and you had a close relationship. Is that correct?”

“Yes,” Brian responded, “Very close. My friends were sickened by it.”

This caused a short round of laughter to circulate through the room, but only for a moment. After that short minute, another question was asked. One in which Brian wasn’t sure how to answer and he stuttered in response, making it look as if he had something to hide. Something big. Something that could solve everything right then and there, however it wouldn’t.

“So you would never hurt her?”

“N..well, no...not intentionally.” Brian cursed on the inside at his answer, “I mean...our last time together, there was some shoving on both parts. Aside from that...never.”

“How long were you dating?”

Brian did a quick mental count in his head before answering with, “Just over a year.”

“So you’d met her parents?”

“Yes.”

“And how did you get a long with them?”

“Very well, Sir. We got along great. They mentioned that I was a perfect match for their daughter...the type they hoped she would end up with.”

“Thank you, Mr. Littrell.” Mr. Williams stated, and he took a seat.

There were a few minutes of silence other than some casual speaking casting through the room. Brian, however, was left with only his thoughts to fulfill his time while the Judge noted on a few things. He wished that he knew if those things were for or against him. The trial wasn’t nearly over with however. There were still some mysteries to be solved. After all, a person was missing. They wouldn’t just let it go with a few questions. Investigations had to be made.

‘Court dismissed for the day.” the Judge called out, and everybody rose slowly and walked out of the door as the officer next to Brian took his arm gently, leading him away back to his new home...his prison cell.
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Flashback
February 12th, 2005

It was a warm day for that time of year. The kind of day that most hoped would stay that way all through the fall and winter. The temperature was in the low seventies, the sun high in the sky shining down brightly upon Georgia.

Brian hummed happily to himself as he walked out to his car, carrying a bag of groceries in one hand, his keys in the other. When he reached his car, Brian unlocked the door, placing the bag on the passenger seat beside him as he got in himself, sticking the key in to the ignition. It was just another day for him. Another day of being able to do absolutely whatever he wanted. He enjoyed these days, however they were getting old and he was getting bored. Only four more months until another tour with the Backstreet Boys would take off. They’d finished recording a few months prior and the album was to be released in two months. He couldn’t wait to tour and do rehearsals so that he and his friends were all on the same page during their stage performance. Only four months, and the hectic, exciting life as a performer would begin again.

Brian put his car in reverse, backing out of his parking spot, shifting in to first gear. Once out on the highway, he went to second, third and finally fourth. Rolling the windows down, the wind whipped through the sports car, the radio turned up loud to down out the overpowering wind noise. He sang along to the lyrics, going in to somewhat of a trance as he drove, knowing the way home like the back of his hand without really paying any attention.

That was, until somebody turned out in front of him causing Brian to break from his thoughts as his heart started to hammer in his chest. He slammed on his breaks, but not soon enough, for his car slid right in to the back of the other car. Brian’s body lurched forward slightly upon impact, but it wasn’t enough to cause airbags to go off. Just enough to make a rather nasty dent in the other persons car while the hood of Brian’s crumpled up slightly. He sat stunned for a moment, wondering if that had really just happened. Judging by the fact that he wasn’t waking up from a bad dream, Brian assumed that it had.


“Wonderful.” he spat sarcastically, his cheerful mood taking a turn for the worse.

After only a few seconds, he noticed somebody emerging from their car. He too did the same, wondering what in the world he was going to say. In his mind, this wasn’t his fault. In his mind, he’d done nothing wrong as he tried to control his temper, only seconds away from being face to face with the other victim. All around him, the rest of the world stopped in time as if it didn’t exist at all. All that was there was him and the person from the other car.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” a girl who looked to be around his age ranted right away without giving him the chance to speak, “Do you not know that you’re not supposed to run in to people in front of you?”

“Do you not know that I had the right of way?” Brian asked evenly, “Right turn on red only works if there is nothing coming.”

The girl rolled her eyes...blue ones, Brian noticed. She crossed her arms over her chest, but said nothing. Brian found himself smiling smugly at this. No words meant that she knew she was wrong. The cops, however, would have the final say in the situation. After all, a police report would have to be taken. A few horns honked as traffic piled up in both directions, but Brian paid no attention to it. The girl, however, stuck up her hand, flipping the people off. Brian found himself laughing at her fiery, outspoken personality.

“What? You think that just because you’re a pop star means that you own the road?” she asked him suddenly, “News flash, you have to follow the same rules as everybody else.”

Brian stepped back as if he’d been slapped. When had he ever acted as if he were better than anybody? He didn’t know, but obviously something had happened that he wasn’t aware of. Taking in a deep breath, he realized that being calm was probably the best way to go. Compromising.

“I’m sorry...I’ll make sure that all of the damages are paid for and you’re taken care of, no matter who is cited.”

She eyed him before saying, ‘That would be nice...” a few tears welled up in her eyes, her anger dying as panic started to set in, “It took me three years to save up enough money just to make a down payment on this piece of junk...and I can only pay the minimum each month. Not to mention I can’t even afford full coverage insurance. God...how am I going to pay for this?”

Brian smiled at her sympathetically. He’d really never had problems financially and ever since his late teens, he’d been pretty well off. Extremely well off, in fact. He realized though that this girl probably spent every penny she earned on bills and her car was her only means of transportation. A car that looked as if it had been picked up at the junk yard and fixed up just enough to be drivable.

Only seconds later, police sirens were heard and then two cop cars showed up to the scene. One of them started to direct traffic while the other came over to Brian and the young woman. After asking a few simple questions, Brian learned that her name was Julian Edwards. Looking at her as she spoke, he already knew that he’d be taking full responsibility. He had the money to pay for the damages while she obviously didn’t.

Not to mention, she was gorgeous. Her hair was a shade of brown that was both light and dark depending on the way the light hit it. Her skin was a peaches and cream color which was flawless. She wasn’t tall, nor short. She stood at about five foot six...the perfect height for him. She was slender with a medium bone frame and it was obvious that she worked out from her toned body.

“Mr. Littrell, do you know why you are being cited?”

Brian looked up to see the officer had been speaking to him. Brian just nodded his head as he was given a ticket that had to be paid within thirty days.

“You two will need to exchange insurance information to work out how your cars will be fixed. Miss Edwards, Mr. Littrell’s company should supply you with a vehicle to use temporarily while yours is being fixed.

“Thank you, officer.” Julian sniffled, still unable to believe something she’d worked so hard to buy was going to be taken from her.

The police officer got back in to his car, sitting there for a few moments to file some things before driving away. Julian just slumped against her car, burring her face in to her hands. She didn’t know what to do and certainly wasn’t up to driving yet. Her stomach felt ill Absolutely ill. Even though she knew she wouldn’t have to pay a single cent of her own money, it still didn’t make her feel any better.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Julian looked up to see Brian was still standing there as well. She sighed before nodding, wiping a few stray tears away from her eyes. He smiled at her kindly, taking a couple of steps forward. She eyed him suspiciously, but stood still anyways. She was weak, all of her energy gone. The accident had frightened her, as it had been her first one ever.

“Listen..I’m very sorry about all of this,” he offered, “I’d like to make it up to you sometime..take you to dinner possibly?”

Julian laughed, the sound like music to his ears, “I don’t even know you.”

‘Sure you do,” he grinned, “I’m Brian and I creamed the heck out of the back of your car.” this caused her to laugh again, his humor lightening the dark mood, “Seriously though...go out with me and get to know me.”

She hesitated for a moment. This was honestly one of the weirdest things to ever happen to her. She reached up, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as she looked up at him. He seemed sincere enough. The situation was just bizarre though. They’d been in an accident, fought and now he was comforting her and asking her for a date. Such a strange world...yet somehow things always got better after they got worse. Julian only stood there for another minute in silence before deciding her answer.

“Okay...” her voice trailed off, “Can give it a try, I suppose...”

Brian grinned as he pulled a pulled a pen from his pocket, ‘What’s your number?” he asked, and she gave it to him as he scribbled the seven digit number on a scrap piece of paper within his wallet, “Great...I’ll be calling you.”

“Just don’t turn in to some crazy stalker.” she joked

Brian just shrugged his shoulders in response as he got in to his car, Julian doing the same. He hoped that something special formed between them as he took grip of the steering wheel. A huge smile was plastered to his face, his day just getting better despite his car needing a little visit to the Auto Body Shop. Not even that could destroy his mood.

Chapter Two

As Kevin, AJ, Howie and Nick left the Court House, nobody said a word. There really wasn’t much to say. One of their best friends was being held under custody, being charged with doing something to his girlfriend. Somebody who he had loved with all of his heart. Somebody who he had come to them in a depressed funk when she had turned down his marriage proposal because she just wanted to ‘take things slow’.

Paparazzi and press swarmed the four men taking pictures and asking questions that was really none of their business. They wanted to know what was going on with the missing member of the group. Word spread fast, but they’d all agreed to try their hardest to keep the case away from the media for as long as possible. That could only be another day or two, but it would be another day or two longer that Brian’s privacy was kept just that...private.

“This is one place I never thought I’d be.” Howie shouted above the loud commotion of the nosy media. Their security guards stayed close by the four men as they roughly shoved their way though the crowd, walking quickly in attempt to just get away in to their limo that was waiting for them at the bottom of the flight of steps and across a large sidewalk in front of the beautiful building, “At least, not for this.”

Nobody said anything more until the four men were safely inside of their vehicle. Camera flashes went off, bright lights going off in their eyes. Press pounded on the windows, sticking their faces up close. Microphones and recorders were being held out still despite the fact that they were already out of their vision. It was almost as if they were waiting for some windows to be rolled down and they’d be spoken to.

Ever so slowly, the large vehicle lurched forward, making its way through the mass of people being careful not to hit anybody. Ever now and then, the horn would blare when somebody would jump in front of it and the limo would stop abruptly. None of the guys paid much attention to this though, their minds preoccupied with much more important things.

“It didn’t go too badly today.” AJ offered with a shrug, “Could have been worse.”

“My cousin is rotting in a damned cell because somebody is accusing him of killing Julian,” Kevin snapped in AJ’s direction before softening his tone, “Brian would never hurt her. He loved that woman more than life itself.”

There were a few moment of silence then. Kevin seemed to be especially sensitive to the whole case. They all were, as Brian was like family to all of them. The only difference was, Kevin was blood related. It was still as if they were all living in some sort of dream and would awaken at any moment on a tour bus. All of them were smart enough to realize that the realism of that was slim to none. This was their life for the moment. Scared and worried that their best friend would be convicted of something he hadn’t even done.

“I think he’s innocent...” Howie spoke, taking his chances of being next in Kevin’s path of rampaging, “True, he got in to a fight with her, but that doesn’t mean anything. She’s a grown woman. She doesn’t have to call mommy or daddy every time she wants to go somewhere. She’s probably just out somewhere taking a breather to get her thoughts together.”

This actually caused the mood to lighten as a few light chuckles were heard. Sure, the situation was serious, but Howie did prove a good point. Julian was twenty-eight years old. Their wasn’t a law that said she had to call and check in. Chances were, the woman was safe and sound in another State or possibly another Country and this whole thing was being blown out of proportion. Sure, the court was just taking precautions...just in case. But this was Brian Littrell they were talking about. The man was the least likely to harm anybody out of the whole group. This was saying a lot, because none of them would ever dream of causing any kind of harm.

“I know he is innocent...” Kevin replied with a wave of confidence, his voice suddenly coming out loud as he spoke his inner thoughts, “Her parents are blowing this way out of proportion.” a camera flashed through the window and he noticed that they were still moving very slowly, “As soon as tabloids hear of this, Lord only knows just what they’ll come up with.”

To say that everybody’s imagination was getting the best of them would be the understatement of the year. Each man had different thoughts running through their heads. Each a story that was beyond crazy. The type that people read for entertainment purposes only, but the stories were just crazy enough to make them wonder if there was any truth behind any of this. They all wanted to visit their friend and talk with him, asking exactly what had happened. That, however, was not possible. They could visit, but under close supervision due to the chance that they would feed the suspect information, coaching him on what to say in next days court.

“This is fucking insane,” AJ grumbled, “Absolutely insane.” Finally, the vehicle was moving at a steady pace as in the back window flashes still went off, the media growing smaller and smaller in the distance behind them. He leaned back in relief, happy that they had gotten away freely on the first day of trial, “Today was something else.”

“That it was,” Howie agreed with a nod.

To say that all of them looked exhausted was an understatement. When their friend had been pulled out of a meeting they’d been having by three police officers, all had been confused and then stunned when they’d taken him by the arms, leading him away without explanation. Brian had looked behind him at his friends helplessly as if begging for help. Each of them had taken no time to run after to demand what was going on. They had gotten no answers however. They only got the chance to see their best friend being hauled off in the back of a police cruiser. It had been a couple of days before they’d heard anything.

“I have a feeling everything is going to be okay,” Nick spoke up with a shrug, “They’re wrong about things all the time. This is one of those things.” he was talking about the court process.

The others nodded, really not in the mood to discuss it any longer. They agreed with Nick. This was all a huge misunderstanding. Any day, Julian would come home and the whole thing would be dropped, Brian found innocent. That was what they all believed. What they believed though didn’t necessarily mean anything though. What they believed wasn’t necessarily what they got, for this was just the beginning.

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Flashback
March 11th, 2005

“Are you sure it’s not to soon to meet your friends?” Julian asked nervously as Brian led her up to the door step of Nick Carter.

That morning, they’d just finished recording for their upcoming album. In a few months, their tour would launch. In just over two, it was planned on being released. Therefore, the group plus some family of the Boys were going to be at Nick’s for a small ‘Congratulatory’ party that they were throwing for themselves for just over a year of hard labor and work to make this album the best one yet and perfect as it could be.

“Don’t worry so much,” Brian laughed as he leaned over, giving her a kiss on the cheek affectionately, “They’ll love you...just like I do.” he reached up, letting himself in to Nick’s as if he lived there. After being friends with the other four guys for nearly twelve years coming up, they pretty much shared one another’s homes anyways, “We’ve been dating for almost a month...tomorrow is one month since we met. Heck, I’ve met your parents already. I think that qualifies as time to meet the friends.” he joked.

Julian laughed, “I suppose...” her voice trailed off as voices could be heard coming from a room towards the back of the extravagant home, “Wow...her voice trailed off as she looked around in awe as she tried to change the subject, “I’ve never seen anything like this before...other than your house, of course...but...” she let out a slow breath. It was true that her home as well as her parents were simple and small. She lived in her own apartment that had one bedroom. It was in a nice complex in a nice part of town, but really had nothing extra other than a tiny workout center and a pool. Her parents lived in a one story with two bedrooms in a cute neighborhood which was obviously older. The family was about average. That didn’t bother Brian though. He was attracted to Julian for her...not her social status, “I hope I fit in with you all...maybe I should leave.” she bit her lip nervously, but knew that he wasn’t about to let that happen when her boyfriend didn’t let go of her hand. She sighed in defeat, “Or not.”

Brian just smiled, pulling her in close to his side as they finally reached his friends. He was more than ready to show off his lovely girlfriend. They’d been dating for a month and he’d done nothing but talk her up. None of the Boys had met her though. That was all about to change though. It was time they saw that the woman existed and wasn’t just some crazy figment of his imagination that he’d conjured up to them so he seemed to have something in his life outside of the group. He was excited for them to meet her. He gave Julian a reassuring squeeze before speaking up to his long-time friends.

“Hey guys!” Brian exclaimed, announcing his presence.

Nick, his brother Aaaron, AJ and his mother Denise, whom he was extremely close with, Howie and his sister Polly, Kevin and his wife Kristen all turned to face the voice. They smiled and waved, all eyes on the new member of the group. Their eyes held curiosity and Julian just bowed her head and blushed. Anybody who knew her well would be aware that she hated to have all eyes on her and hated being in the spotlight, it making her self-conscience. Brian was one of those people and he quickly spoke up to take the attention off of her.

“This is my girlfriend, Julian,” he introduced, “Julian...you already know who the Boys are, I’m sure...but anyways..the tall blonde is Kevin’s wife, Kris...the young blonde is Nick’s brother, Aaron. You’ll find that he acts a lot like Nick.”

“Hey!” the brothers cried out in defensive unison.

This caused everybody to laugh as Brian introduced her to Denise last. They all greeted her warmly, already accepting her and making her feel welcome and like she belonged without questioning too much.

“It’s great to finally meet the woman that has our B-Rok always off in dreamland and singing like an angel in the studios out of nowhere.” Kevin smiled, “Anybody who makes my little cousin that happy is always fine by me.” he shook her hand.

“Thank you,” Julian said quietly as she actually looked up to actually face each of the individuals before her.

“Our Brian picked up a real hottie this time,” AJ mentioned, turning directly to Julian, “You’re a real steal.”

His eyes met with Julian’s for a moment as they exchanged a look for a second. Again, Julian blushed while AJ just stared at her with arms crossed over his chest, an amused look on his face as he looked her up and down. Brian looked at each of them oddly, wondering what that was all about. The moment passed too quickly for it to even be worth mentioning. He pulled Julian in closer to him again to prove that she was his girlfriend and not up for grabs. It was mostly for AJ’s sake, for the man was always known for being a ladies man and getting pretty much anybody he wanted. He was not going to get Julian though.

“We’re glad to finally meet you.” Kristen mentioned sweetly as Brian’s thoughts were distracted by somebody else speaking. He watched Kristen pulling the younger woman in to a hug.

“You too.” Julian breathed as she was already beginning to ease up, “Brian talks so much about all of you. He thinks the world of you all.”

“He thinks the world of you.” Kevin chuckled, “Dear Lord, you’re all the boy talks about day and night. Absolutely everything leads back to Julian. It’s cute.”

By now, both parties of the new couple were blushing profusely. They looked in to one another’s eyes before magnetically going in to one another for a long kiss of passion. The world around them froze as if they were the only two in existence. For all Brain cared, in his mind they were. Nothing else mattered, just them. They may have only been together for a month, but he felt the relationship strengthening by the day. He felt as if this were the real deal. Being already in his thirties, he was finally finding somebody that was worth it to him to think romantically about on heightened levels.

“Look at those two go at it.” Aaron cracked.

“I think I’m going to throw up.” AJ mentioned with a smile, “I’ve never seen anybody suck face for so long and still be breathing.”

Brian glanced at them out of the corner of his eye as he and Julian broke free of their kiss. He picked up a random object from the table and threw it at the young Latino playfully. Everybody laughed as he ducked to miss it hitting his head by inches.

“Yup, he’s in love.” Kevin smiled as the couple went at kissing again, embraced in one the arms of each other still. It looked like they all had their entertainment cut out for them for the evening without even leaving the room.

Thanks so much for the feedback on Chapter 1 everybody! It means the world to me! Here is Chappy 2 for ya'll. Enjoy!

Chapter Three

Brian flinched when he heard two men fighting in a cell right next to him. He recoiled back in the corner he’d positioned him in, trying to curl up even tighter. He was afraid. He was used to this by now, as he’d been in the dingy, dark cell for a couple of weeks now. But nonetheless, he was still afraid.

Physical fights broke out almost constantly amongst the men. He was lucky enough to have a cell all to himself...so far. That could change at any moment of any day. But for now, he was alone and safe from the wrath of other criminals. At the thought of that, Brian laughed bitterly. Him, a criminal. It sounded weird, as he’d always been looked at as being so calm and sweet. He was known for following all of the rules of God and not betraying the trust of anybody. It was funny how things changed by a simple fight and a handful of accusations directly following. Now, nothing made sense.

The first day of the trial hadn’t gone nearly as expected. Brian hadn’t known what to expect, but what had happened wasn’t it. He’d never in a million years thought that he would ever be on the stand in a court room being charged for something so horrible. He’d thought that everybody would see in to his good heart and realize right away that he was innocent with no questions asked. That wasn’t even close though. Day one and he’d been so nervous that it looked like he had something to hide. In his mind though, he didn’t. Not really....or did he? Brian was just completely confused.

“I’m going to rip your throat out!”

Brian swallowed back fear as he heard the angry shouts of a guy so close to him followed by a clatter and a thump. Then there was more yelling. A lot more yelling. Brian bowed his head down, covering his ears to block it all out. He hated this with a passion. Not only that, he missed his friends. He wondered what they were thinking at that exact moment. Were they on his side, or did they doubt him. He wished that he knew.

“God, Julian...where are you...” Brian muttered aloud. He ran his fingers through his sandy locks in distress.

Her whereabouts was something that he wondered and had been wondering every day since those officers had come up to his door, banging roughly upon the mahogany wood. He’d opened and they’d drug him out like a filthy criminal stating that he was under arrest for the disappearance of his lovely Julian, or what he thought to be his lovely Julian before he’d caught her cheating on him. But was it really possible that the vibrant, full of life woman was dead? It seemed surreal to him. The whole thing was surreal. Brian swore that lines of age were starting to etch their way in to his facial features from all the stress that he was undergoing.


Sighing, he looked up. In all of his thinking, Brian realized that the yelling had stopped. He was thankful for that, positive that if it had continued, one of them would have ended up hospitalized by the end of it all. Or had that already happened? Or had somebody been killed? Brian had heard horror stories about prison fights where one person ended up dead by the end of it all. Either way, it was obvious that an officer had split it up. It made him look forward to having a cell mate even less. He didn’t exactly have a ‘tough’ image to stand up to and defend himself with.

Thinking again, he closed his eyes and saw the jury before him. They all had such accusing looks in their eyes, ready to judge without knowing. Then again, he hadn’t exactly told the entire truth either. He figured that they’d probably seen through that. Unfortunately. Then there was the look her parents kept shooting him. It was accusing through teary grief filled eyes. That look had caused him so much pain. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose a child. He didn’t have any of his own, but he’d have liked to have them with Julian...before she cheated on him.

Brian sighed. Where were his friends? He needed them there to talk to. To tell him that everything would work out and he would be okay. That reassurance was something that he was finding difficult to come by all on his own without an outside force telling him so. Everything was such a mess. They hadn’t come by though, and Brian wasn’t sure if they would. Sure, their looks in the courtroom had been sympathetic towards him. He was almost sure that they were on his side. But then there was that little stray fringe of doubt sneaking up on him, making him wonder if they too blamed him for killing Julian.

“Lights out!” bellowed a voice.

Brian looked up just on time to see a security officer walking through, flipping light switches along the way as darkness took over the entire room. He sighed, getting up from his position on the floor. Silence was now deafening as he quietly padded his way over to his bed, afraid to make the slightest disruptance for fear that it would set off a fury of fights all around. Peace had finally taken over. But it would only last so long, because once morning came, another day of unknown events would take place, mostly for the worst. That’s how it always turned out.
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Flashback
April 2nd, 2005

Brian’s eyes widened in sheer delight as he watched Julian emerge from the bathroom wearing a light pink bikini. It was tied in the back around her neck and again in the middle giving it a near strapless look. The bottoms tied at the sides where they were in tight little bows, clinging her the curves of her hips perfectly. He could feel himself almost drooling at the sight, her tanned, lean, toned stomach showing through teasingly.

“Wow...” was all he could muster, her perfection leaving him speechless.

Julian laughed daintily as she bowed her head in a slight blush, “You don’t look too bad yourself, Mr. Littrell.” she teased, walking straight in to his arms to plant a kiss on him, “You look damn sexy in those.”


Brian laughed, wondering how he could look good in a simple pair of hunter green swimming trunks that were slightly baggy and came to his knees...the latest style. He accepted her kinds words though, returning a kiss as a thank you. They stood in the hotel room, just holding each other and staring in to one another’s eyes with complete adoration. Brian honestly couldn’t remember a time when he’d loved somebody this much nor had such a great connection with them.

“So,” Julian asked, breaking the moment, “Are we going to go down to the beach or what? I’m dying to take a dip in the ocean. It’s such a beautiful day!”

Brian smiled at her enthusiasm, glad that his idea to take her on a small mini-vacation was paying off. She was definitely grateful for it. It was so weird to think that when they’d first met, she had been screaming at him and cursing under her breath in distress because he’d hit her in a car accident. And somehow, he’d had the gull to ask her out in the middle of all of it. He shook his head and chuckled to himself with the irony of it all. She’d been reluctant, but had agreed, mostly to get him off of her back. They had really it off though.

“What are you laughing at?” Julian crinkled her nose at him.

“Just thinking of how we met,” she laughed softly at this, “Don’t you find it odd?”

Julian shrugged her shoulders, “Yeah, well...it all worked out for the best, and I got a new better car out of it!” she winked at him

“Hey,” Brian called out in protest, going after her in a joking manner.

Julian’s eyes widened in surprise as she squealed, taking a run for it as Brian chased her. She made it all the way to the door before he cornered her, tackling her in to a corner as he smothered her in kisses as they both laughed in between each one. Julian’s heart fluttered at how sweet Brian was and how amazingly they fit together. It was almost as if they were meant for one another in some weird, twisted way. She could only hope that things lasted. So far, she couldn’t ask for anything better and things had been running strongly and smoothly for almost two months.

‘What do you say...we go down...to the beach now...” Julian mumbled in between quick pecks of passion on the mouth.

Brian smiled as he kissed his girlfriend one last time, embracing her closely against his chest in a hug, “Sounds great,” he replied, “Just let me grab the beach towels and we’ll be on our way.”

Julian waited by the door as Brian disappeared in to the bedroom, watching his butt the whole way back. She smiled, leaning against the front door of their suite casually as she waited. She shook her head and laughed when a loud crash was heard from the room. Not long after, Brian emerged with two towels draped over his shoulder and a bottle of sun tan lotion. He held it up as if she hadn’t noticed it before.

“I don’t want you to burn...the sun reflecting off of the sand on you will roast you alive and turn you in to a lobster.”

“Ah...” was all Julian responded with, but she found his gesture, although simple...very sweet


“So lets go!” Brian exclaimed as he opened the door for Julian, holding his hand outward as a motion for her to go first.

“You’re such a corn-ball!” She laughed, walking out. Brian followed, the door clicking silently behind them.

The walk down to the beach was short and once there, they found the perfect spot to lye out their beach towels. Brian slathered lotion all over Julian to make sure she didn’t burn, rubbing gently and in a way that sent shivers of excitement up and down her spine. When he was done, Julian did the same to Brian, even kissing his neck gently as she did so sending him moaning in pleasure at her teasing ways.

The majority of that afternoon had been spent either swimming in the depths of the clear blue ocean or catching the suns rays for a perfect tan. Either way, the couple was enjoying each others company and just having fun. Things were simple and that was the way that they liked it for the moment without the press getting in to their business. It was just them...

Chapter Four

“Would Mr. Kevin Richardson please come to the stand.” Mr. Williams ordered, standing in front of where Kevin was to be seated.

It was day three of the trial and it was the day where Brian’s friends were to testify in his defense. Brian swallowed, hoping that his lawyer could help him out. He hoped that his friends wouldn’t say anything stupid to make him look bad. All he wanted was for people to see that he wasn’t a bad person. He was being charged with some pretty malicious things though. Hardly anybody who was charged with such actions really had a chance, even if they truly were innocent. For once in his love, Brian prayed that his fame would get him out of this. Kind of like OJ Simpson. He felt guilty for wanting to use his stardom for this, but just maybe it would help him out.

As Kevin passed by Brian on his way to the stand, he pat his cousin on the back for reassurance. The Judge shot him a warning look and Kevin refrained from saying anything as he took his seat in his destined area. He had a certain confidence about him in the way he carried himself and the way he sat straight, his eyes fixed straight ahead. It was the type of confidence that just might help Brian out of this and make the room see that he was innocent.

“Kevin, how long have you and Brian known each other?”

“My entire life,” Kevin answered, “Litterally. He’s my cousin…only a few years younger.”

“As a child, was Brian short tempered? Did he get into a lot of fights?” Mr. Williams asked.

Kevin laughed, shaking his head, “Not once. Brian was a very kind child. Much like he is today,” Kevin emphasized, “He sang in the church choir, always did his homework. He’s always been sweet, trying to make peace in every bad situation. He’s always been a firm believer in the power of God, and was considered terminally ill as a child from a medical condition. His strong faith is what gave him the confidence to stay alive. He would never hurt another human being. He’s one of the rare people that has a kind heart. Brian would make every single person in this court room look like a bad guy. He makes me look bad.”

Mr. Williams nodded thoughtfully, and it was obvious that everybody else was taking Kevin’s words and view on Brian into account. Kevin glanced to his cousin and could see his eyes shooting him rays of thankfulness in their glow. His posture didn’t seem as tense. For the first time, his friend looked like he believed that everything would turn out okay.

“Did you ever see Brian and Julian in an argument?”

“Never. They were always so affectionate with one another. When we left on tour, Brian actually cried when he was leaving her behind. They talked every morning and night and his tone was always so soft and kind with her. I swear, those two were meant to be sole mates.”

“Thank you, Kevin. That’s all for now.”

Kevin smiled tightly as he made his way back to where he’d previously been sitting as AJ made his way up. Kevin only hoped that their rebel friend could talk in Brian’s favor and not slip up in foul language to make him look bad.

“AJ…” Mr. Settina started, the opposing lawyer taking his stand to do the questioning, “How long have you and Brian known one another?”

“Over twelve years. Ever since the Backstreet Boys foundation started.”

“What was the worst argument you’ve ever been in with him?”

AJ’s eyes darkened a little, but he forced out a chuckle, “Probably when he found out I was using drugs. The guys were all pretty upset. Brian was no different, but in another sense he was there for me a little more. He was the first to help me realize that I wasn’t beyond help. The others followed after him. Kevin was the one kicking down the damned door screaming obscenities at me.”

AJ could see anger flash across Mr. Settina’s eyes because he wasn’t making Brian look bad for Julian’s parents. He let out a frustrated sigh, yet kept up an image telling he was sure of himself. Much like many lawyers were.

“So you don’t find it odd that Miss. Edwards disappeared after their fight?”

“Um, well…I…” AJ fumbled over his words.

‘Especially since they were supposedly so close. And nobody has seen her.”

“I…I can’t answer that for you.” AJ sighed, “They were extremely close with one another, and it is odd. But I don’t think I would justify it as saying he’d hurt her.”

“But you do find it odd?” Mr. Settina pressed.

AJ sighed, “Yes.” He said dumbly, and he shot Brian an apologetic look after seeing the hurt and betrayal in his eyes. All of the praising work Kevin had done had evaporated in that instant.

“Thank you. That’s all.”

AJ took his seat again as somebody else was called up to the stand. Brian could hear whispering behind him and his heart broke with the words he was actually catching. Things weren’t going nearly as well as he’d hoped, starting out so greatly and with each person, taking a drastic turn for the worst. The highlight of the end was when Howie was called up to speak, taking away some of the damage. Just how much damage could be erased though, when it seemed the world was against him?

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Flashback
April 1st, 2005

Brian handed his duffle bag to the bus driver as he looked over at Julian standing at the sidelines. He smiled sadly at her, but she didn’t notice. His girlfriend was distracted with what was the most pitiful look of emptiness on her face. Thanking the driver, he took in a deep breath, looking around. It seemed that everything was in place and they were ready to get rolling. The other Boys were just standing outside chatting and taking advantage of their last minutes standing and stretching, preparing for hours on the road now.

Walking over to Julian, Brian realized that this was it. They had avoided talking about the tour as much as possible, but in the back of their minds, both of them had known that it was coming. And here it was. Their first show was for that night in the next state over. If they were to be there by four-thirty for setting things up and sound-check, Brian realized that they had to get moving, as much as he wanted to delay things and procrastinate. Julian had insisted on coming to see them off, and as happy as he was about that, Brian almost wished that she hadn’t. It was only making things harder on both of them.

“Hey there.” he greeted her softly.

“Hi.” Julian nearly whispered. It appeared that she was looking at him, but Brian knew her better than that. Whenever she was upset, she tended to look past him. Then there was the ever so slightly quavering of her chin as she tried her hardest not to cry. They stood in awkward silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to break the moment. It couldn’t be put off though, “I guess this is it, huh?” she moved her gaze so that she was looking in to his eyes, and it broke his heart at just how sad she was.


“I’ve got a few more minutes.” Brian replied honestly while trying to stay positive at the same time.

Julian smiled at his attempt, but as she did, a single tear finally escaped from the corner of her eye followed by several more. That was all it took for Brian to take a few more steps forward, embracing his girl within his arms. He nestled his face in to her neck, breathing in the sweet scent of her as he kissed her gently. It wasn’t long before Julian’s arms were around him as well and she was sobbing openly.

“It’s not so bad...” Brian tried to convince both of them, “This is just a mini-tour before the full blown Never Gone tour. I’ll be gone only a couple of months.”

“I know...” Julian sniffed, her voice hardly coming out, “Its just...you’ll be so far away and...”

“It’s not too late for you to go with me!” Brian enthused, “There’s plenty of room and I would love to have you with me. Please?” he gave his best pouty puppy dog face.

Julian laughed lightly at him, wiping a tear from her eye, “I wish I could, but I can’t. I have to work. I need the money. I have bills to pay.”

“I’ll take care of you.” Brian offered

Julian shook her head, taking in a deep breath to try and compose herself completely. As much as she wanted to just leave everything behind and go around the world with Brian, she knew that she just simply couldn’t. He was just making it harder by throwing the option on the table right before her.

“Wha...what’s going to happen to us?” Julian finally spoke her biggest fear out loud.

“Absolutely nothing.” Brian assured her, “We’re going to stay together, talk on the phone every day...write letters. Nothing is going to change between us. I promise.”

“But you’ll be around so many girls who are right there.” Julian pointed out, feeling comfortable enough to let this insecure side of her out.

“But none of them are you.” Brian assured her, “I love you, Julian. I want only you.”

Julian smiled as Kevin yelled out to Brian that it was time to go. She winced, realizing that the time had come. Brian yelled back that he would be right there and turned back to Julian one last time.

“I’ll call you tonight after the show, okay?” he promised.

“Okay.” Julian answered him, “Good luck and have fun.”


Brian embraced her once more, kissing her passionately on the mouth before pulling a small box out of his coat pocket, handing it to Julian. She took it, looking up in to his eyes in confusion, her brows furrowing.

“Just a little goodbye gift.” he told her, “Don’t open it until tonight though.”

Julian groaned playfully, but she found the gesture romantic and sweet. She was dying to know what was in the package though, the mystery already torturing her on the inside.

“Well, goodbye sweetheart.” Brian kissed her one last time as the horn to the tour bus he’d be sharing with his five best friends sounded to let him know that the needed to go, ‘I love you.”

“I love you too.” Julian smiled, waving slowly as Brian blew her a kiss walking backwards before turning and sprinting towards the bus.

Julian waited several minutes then, just watching as the bus started moving and even until it disappeared out of sight completely. She already felt so lost and lonely without Brian there, not knowing what she was going to do without him there.

Meanwhile, Brian was looking out the window to the bus as he peered behind him far in to the distance where he’d left his Julian behind. It had only been five minutes and he already missed her. This was going to be a long tour without her by his side and he already couldn’t wait for it to be over, having to stop himself from digging out his cell phone and calling her already because that would only make him look weak and desperate.

Chapter Five


“BRIAN!”

Brian glanced up in a daze to see one of the larger officers of the prison towering over him from the outside of his cell. He blinked a few times, wondering what they wanted with him. He didn’t have another trial date until later in the week, unless something had changed that he was unaware of.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“You have visitors. Would you like to see them?”

“Sure, send them in.” he replied half heartedly.

The officer didn’t say anything more as he disappeared, likely to retrieve his visitors. He wondered who it was, not really caring either way. His life had become a large black hole in the past couple of weeks, and his jury date the previous week hadn’t gone well at all. In fact, it had been nothing short of a complete disaster. He had to thank Kevin for being honest and wording things in such a way that sounded genuine. But then AJ had gone up to talk, and what seemed to start out so good, ended horribly. He couldn’t blame it all on his Latino friend though, for it was the opposing Lawyers job to make him look bad. It was a mind trick thing that he’d used, making AJ trip up…

As if on cue, his four friends walked up seconds later. Breathing a sigh of relief, Brian had never been so happy and relieved to see them in his life. It was as if God himself had sent them there for him. His guardian angels, coming to lift him back up and give him a little bit of his confidence and self-esteem back.

“Hey Bri!” Nick exclaimed, “How ya holding up in there?”

“Managing, somehow.” Brian admitted honestly, his face sullen.

“Everything’s going to work out,” Howie vowed, being his usual upbeat self, “You’re going to get out of here and one day, we’ll all look back on this and laugh.”

“Ha Ha.” Brian snorted dryly, not allowing his eyes to glance up at his friends.

There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence that were awkward. Brian realized he really didn’t know what to say to the guys, assuming that they were having the same problem. He wondered why they’d come to visit in the first place. He knew that he had their moral support either way, but seeing them out in the free world while he was being cooped up like a chicken on death row at the farm was almost too much for him to handle. He too had once been free. It seemed like eons ago, and wondered if he would ever get a taste of freedom again.

“So tell us, what exactly happened that night?” Kevin finally asked, and he saw Brian’s eyes both cloud over and darken all at the same time, “I mean, exactly.”

“I’m forbidden to talk about it outside of court.” Brian mumbled so lowly that the others really had to strain to understand him.

“We’re not gonna tell nobody. But it would help to, you know, defend your ass.” AJ pointed out.

Brian sighed, looking around. He really didn’t want to break the rules, and was almost certain that there was some sort of recording system somewhere hidden for security purposes, picking up every single noise that happened to sound within the area. He was getting to the point of not caring anymore though, deciding he was just going to tell his friends whatever they wanted to know without worrying about anything. So what if it messed up his trial and delayed it a few extra days or weeks?

“As I said, she’d cheated on me. We got in to a fight. That was the last time I saw her.”

“But what did you say to each other…what happened? You can tell us, Brian.”

Tears stung Brian’s eyes as he remembered the painful truth he’d found out upon getting back from the tour. He’d been so excited to see her and be with her again, and then in the middle of making out, BAM, he’d found them. He must admit, he’d lost his temper. But wouldn’t anybody? He loved the woman. He still did, and if given the chance, he would forgive her and try to forget, starting all over again.

“I…I called her a dirty tramp, and…she apologized. She just kept saying how sorry she was and how it was a mistake. I kept screaming about how she’d deceived me and lied, and that I’d never once cheated on her…ever. I asked her how many times it happened. She said only twice, but twice is still that many times too much. I told her I never wanted to see her ugly face again or sleep with her STD infested self. She slapped me. I admit, I hit her back, but all I’d seen was red…I would take that back if I could, but I…I didn’t know what I was doing. I told her I wished she would die…I…I…” his voice trailed off as he was suddenly at loss for words.

“And she left then?”

Brian froze, his eyes looking ahead like a deer caught in the headlights. He started to fidget a little with the hem of his orange inmate suit. His posture seemed to tense up a little, his breathing becoming heavy. His eyes darted around nervously.

“Bri?”

“Um, yeah…yeah, she left.” He stated with a shrug as another tear fell, “I didn’t stop her. I let her go.”

“Maybe she joined some sort of protection thingy…ya know, since you hit her and all…and were calling her such bad things.” Nick suggested, “And kind of, in your own way, threatened her life.”

Nobody had the chance to reply, for the officer came up to the guys, telling them that their time with Brian was up. Brian sighed, feeling drained of energy, the others looking disappointed because Nick’s question was somewhat of a good one, although somewhat crazy. Now, there would be no answer to it.

As the Boy’s left, all was silent for a few minutes. The situation was depression, not really one anybody wanted to discuss, yet at the same time, they all did. It was a sticky situation.

“So, what are you all thinking?” Kevin asked in distress

“I think he’s just nervous.” AJ offered, “And distraught. He lost somebody he loved, and she was messing around behind his back.”

“Agreed,” Nick nodded his head.

They all looked at Howie, who seemed to be awfully quiet in his own little world. After a few seconds, he caught their glances, but didn’t seem phased by it. He knew that they were expecting his theory though, so answered.

“I’m not quite so sure,” he replied, “There’s more to it than he’s saying, I think.”

“So you’re saying you doubt my cousin?” Kevin’s eyes blackened at the thought

“I..I don’t know what to think,” Howie replied, “I just think he’s not fessing up to something…I…guess I do doubt him somewhat. Think of how he was today. Just fidgety and stuttering. He seemed overly anxious. Like he was hiding something.”

“He’s upset.” Kevin defended angrily, “I can’t believe you don’t have more faith in Brian. He’s been like a brother to you for nearly thirteen years, and now you’re betraying him.”

Kevin looked to Howie in disgust, shaking his head as he stormed off. One by one Nick and AJ also looked at him, shaking their heads sadly at Howie for going against their brother. They followed Kevin, leaving Howie behind to trail in their footsteps. He knew that he had hurt them with his confession, but he had to be honest with what he was feeling. But what he was feeling was beginning to cause a rift within the group.

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Flashback
June 3rd, 2005

Brian tapped his foot anxiously on the floor of the bus as he looked at his watch. The time was nearing eight in the evening. They were due to arrive back in just under an hour, and he couldn’t be more excited. The tour had lasted just over two months and keeping his promise to Julian to call every day, he was finally going to get to see her again. Even though they were still sixty something miles away, he could already see her lovely face waiting for him. They’d talked earlier that morning and he knew that she would be there, just as she’d been there to see them off. The difference was, he wasn’t sure how many fans would also be around. It wouldn’t matter though, for the second he saw his beloved Julian, he would make a beeline straight towards her. God, how he’d missed her. And now, after all of the endless days blending in to one another, he was going to get to see her.

“You’re going to pound a hole in the floor of the bus, Rok,” Howie joked, “Chill out. She’ll be there, you’ll see her. Life will be good again.”

Brian hardly heard his friend though, still picturing Julian’s face in his mind. He could almost see her bright smile as their bus pulled up. The excitement in her voice earlier that morning gave him the assurance that he need that their reuniting moment would be bittersweet and the happiest moment in his life so far.

“You’d think they’d been dating years upon years instead of just a few months.” Kevin laughed, happy to see that his cousin was so happy.

“When you find the ‘one’, you just…know.” Brian shrugged, “It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with them.

Nick rolled his eyes and made a teasing gagging noise and the others snickered in the background. Brian was already back to being engrossed in his thoughts of Julian though. He didn’t care what anybody said. This was the real thing. He just knew, because his heart was beating in a different way than it ever had before. His soul felt as if it were lifted up just a bit higher. Everything was brighter and happier when it came to Julian, and when he was without her, Brian felt his world was a darker place.

During the last hour of the ride, the minute slipped by slowly, dragging on as if each one were an hour in itself. Or perhaps it only seemed that way because he was so anxious to see Julian, his mind stuck on the romance channel of their lives. He barely noticed anything passing by around him, yet the second they pulled in to the lot where their bus was to drop them off, he suddenly snapped out of his daze, bouncing from his seat and rushing towards the doors before the bus was even to a complete stop.

“Easy, boy!” AJ cracked as the bus halted, causing Brian to stumble in to the doors, banging his head upon the darkened glass

The doors opened slowly as a group of about two-hundred fans clustered the area. One by one, the Boys made their way out, shaking hands and signing some autographs along the way. Brian was no different, however he barely glanced down to actually look at one of his fans, smiling quickly at them as he scanned the area for Julian. His heart sank when after several moments, he didn’t see her, but then, as if appearing out of nowhere, he spotted his angel. Without stopping to greet one more fan, he pushed his way through the crowd with an adrenaline rush surging through him, giving him more strength than he knew he had. The others stopped momentarily to watch in amusement as he reunited with his girlfriend, whom was standing a ways back from everybody shyly, just waiting with a soft smile on her lips.

The second Brian reached her, they were enveloped in a hug that sent fireworks shooting in to the cool night air for both of them. They shared a kiss so passionate with tears of happiness streaming Julian’s face.

“I missed you so much.” She breathed, hugging Brian tighter as she buried her face in to the cloth of his shirt, taking in the scent of him.

“I missed you too.” Brian replied, not letting go of their embrace, “I thought I was going to go insane without you. I never want to leave you behind for so long again.”

“I’m never going to let you.” Julian agreed with a laugh though her wet eyes, leaning in to kiss Brian once more.

The couple was so engrossed with themselves that neither realized what was going on in the world around them, unaware that they had a small audience, the eyes of every single person on them in awe. They were like two people out of a fairy tail, and not even the most cold-hearted person could say that they weren’t touched by the moment.

“How sweet…it’s like Cinderella and Prince Charming.” AJ quipped.

“I think it’s safe to say we’re about to have a new member added to the Backstreet family.” Kevin smiled.

“I think you’re right.” Howie stated as they continued to make their way through the fans, getting to each and every one of them as they let Brian continue to be off in his own little world. After all, it would be hours before Brian would be ready to leave, and none of them were in any hurry at all.

Chapter Six

Brian sighed as he gazed solemnly ahead of him. The trial for the whereabouts of Julian Edwards had been going on for just under two months now. Things were looking grim. Not in his favor at all. He would’ve thought that the trial would have ended long ago, ruling him innocent on all charges. It seemed as if the process were at a stand-still though. Nothing was happening at all, each court date making him more and more frustrated and anxious because the result at the end of a long, tedious day was always the same. Nobody still had any clue as to anything. What scared him the most was the fact that some murder trials went on for years without any answers. He hoped that his wasn’t one of them and somebody came to some sort of conclusion to the whole thing, and fast.

The day after each court date, there would be a small summary in the paper about it. He was thankful that the case had been kept away from the public for the first week and a half, but slowly, word started to slip out through the cracks of the court house and in to the media. He wondered what his friends had been forced in to telling. He wondered how much of it was recorded accurately, but he didn’t know. He didn’t much care to know either, figuring it would be best for his frame of mind to not know what people were saying about him. Why stress over something you couldn’t do a thing about, right?

The guys had come to visit him a couple more times while he was in prison, but never once had they actually discussed the trial. Once in awhile, they would ask him a question pertaining to it, but Brian would try to stray away the questioning, not feeling like talking about it. He could see that his friends were worried about him, worried about how long the entire process was taking. He hated them to worry, therefore when they came to visit, he tried to make it as much like old times as he could, before any of this started. The only difference in his mind, during those fifteen minute visits, were the bars and glass that separated them. Other than that, they talked and joked around as if nothing in the world had changed.

He could sense something was different with Howie though. The man who was normally so confident in everything, suddenly didn’t have much to say at all. It was as if he came long for the ride with the others, likely because they’d forced him to, or because it would look good, but stayed back in the shadows as if he really didn’t want to be there at all. Brian wondered what was up with that, but deep down he knew. As much as he wished it weren’t true, and tried to deny himself from thinking it, he knew that Howie no longer believed in him for some reason. Howie thought he was guilty, for some unknown reason. The thought of that always depressed Brian, causing an unwanted sadness to take over him. What had he done to cause one of his best friends to betray him so?

“Was Julian ever depressed during the time she was involved with Mr. Littrell?”

Brian snapped from his thoughts as he stared blankly ahead at Mr. Settina questioning Julian’s mother, Adrian. The woman, who Brian knew to be in her mid fifties was dabbing at her eyes gently with a tissue as she sniffled lightly. At the sight of her, Brian could feel his own eyes beginning to cloud over with tears. He willed them away though, his mind anywhere but where it should have been. It was as if he thought he could escape reality simply by putting his mind elsewhere. When Adrian Edwards spoke though, Brian snapped from his deep thoughts, forcing himself to pay attention.

“She was always so happy. Her and Brian were great together. I…I…we adored him. He was everything we’d ever dreamed of for our little girl, which is why I just don’t understand….why he’d…want to…hurt her like this.” Her voice trembled in emotion.

“It says here that your daughter was proposed to by Brian, however she declined. Would there be any reasoning behind her saying ‘no’, if they were so perfect for one another?” Mr. Settina asked, “I don’t know about you, but wouldn’t you want to be engaged to somebody whom you’d deem your ‘soul mate’?”

Mrs. Edwards paused, trying to think of how best to answer the question. When it came down to it, she really didn’t have an explanation that would make sense. Why had Julian said no to the proposal unless there was some deeper, darker secret to their relationship that went on behind closed doors. Things the world, the friends, the family, didn’t see. Did Brian beat her behind closed doors, and knew that if she got in to anything more serious, she would be stuck in something she couldn’t get out of?

“I…I just assumed she wasn’t ready to take on such a commitment. Julian never did anything sporadically. She only did something if it felt right. I thought it was because she felt she needed to date him for a longer time before saying yes. But now that you mention it, maybe it was a cry for help from her.” She took in a deep, shaky breath, letting it out slowly in a troubled manner.

It was all Brian could do not to jump in and yell, telling these people that they were all nuts and that this man was out to make him look like some kind of monster that he wasn’t even close to being. He wanted to tell everybody that he had never hurt his girlfriend. Not once. He was frozen in place though, unable to move or make a sound as Mr. Settina continued to ask questions that came as blows to his reputation, or what little reputation he had left. Brian felt numb, wishing he could make sense of all of this. There was nothing he could do though, and as Mrs. Edwards eventually made her way back to the seat that was right across a narrow isle from Brian, he glanced over at her with tears in his eyes. The look he got back however, was one which was full of hatred. One that read that she wasn’t going to rest until he was paid back for what he supposedly did to her daughter.

Brian observed the woman as she leaned in to her husband, sobbing on to his shoulder. He put an arm around her comfortingly, hugging her as his own eyes filled with tears. Brian sighed, wondering if losing a child were as hard as losing the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Something told him that, as hard as it was to believe, it was much more difficult. The difference was, he had no shoulder to cry on. He had to go through it all alone.
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Flashback
July 29th, 2005

As Julian let herself in to the house, Brian smiled as he finished lighting the last of the candles that lined the long hallway. He looked around one last time to make sure everything was perfect. He had the bottle of red wine, the roses in a crystal vase, as well as thousands of pedals scattered around the bedroom floor, bed, dressers, everywhere. Scented candles were placed with great care around the room and also lining each side of the hallway leading to the room, their colors in white and red, the scent of cinnamon and fresh air. All of the lights were turned down, the only way to guide ones way was from the flickering glow of the candles.

“Brian?” he heard her soft voice call out cautiously, “Are you here?”

“Upstairs, baby.” Brian called back, “In the bedroom.”

He waited a second, smiling when he heard her footsteps coming up the stairs, and chuckled when he heard a loud gasp, knowing she’d gotten to the beginning of her surprise. He uncorked the bottle of wine, pouring them each a glass just as she appeared in the doorway wearing a pair of tight jeans, hugging her in all the right areas and a leather jacket to keep her warm from the rain pouring outside. Her hair was damp, dripping a little, her face showing one of shock and wonderment.

“What’s this for?”

“Because I love you,”

She continued to walk slowly in to the room in awe, right in to Brian’s arms, where he embraced her in a warm hug, kissing her softly on the mouth. Thunder sounded outside followed by a flash of lightening, but neither of them cared.

“Let me help you with your jacket.” He offered, taking the coat off of Julian, placing it in to a chair nearby, “You’re soaking wet.”

Julian laughed, “I’m starting to warm up now, though.” She winked at him.

Brian felt himself beginning to get even more turned on as he felt himself growing. His heart pounded in his chest as he kissed his girlfriend in a way that was full of passion, her showing him back the same eagerness as they made their way to his bed. Before either knew it, their clothes were on the floor, them under the warm covers. Their naked bodies pressed against one another as the temperature rose from the heat of their kisses and lust. Their hands rubbed one anothers bodies in the most affectionate ways, showing their love in a way they hadn’t yet.

Breathing heavily, Brian pulled back to get some air, staring deeply in to Julian’s eyes. He knew what was about to happen, and as much as it scared him, it exhilarated him just the same. He wanted to share this experience with Julian, feeling it was time. They’d been together for five months, and had yet to. He hoped that it wouldn’t ruin their relationship, but it just felt so right, and he hoped that she was thinking the same things as him. By the look in her eyes, he would guess the answer was yes, but just in case…

‘Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked her gently, and when she nodded, swallowing, they shared a smile full of nerves and excitement.

Brian leaned back in to kiss Julian again, this time slowly rolling on top of her without putting the full weight of his body on her. And then, ever so gently, Brian inserted himself inside of her, breaking the innocence of their relationship at that moment, turning it in to something more serious, something more meaningful. Something that would change it forever.

Hearing Julian let out a soft moan of pleasure, Brian began to move up and down, in and out of her tenderly so he wouldn’t hurt her, feeling her lean up as her back arched. Holding on to her as he continued to kiss her, rub her, she too moved in sync with him as they made love, the feeling incredible, the night magical. Their breathing became even more heavy as the intimacy became more enhanced, and at the same time, both reached their climax.

“Are you almost there?” Brian asked, wanting to wait until just the right moment so that they could finish together.

“Yes…” Julian breathed, digging her nails in to the flesh on Brian’s back as she stifled a moan that ended up coming out loudly anyways.

Together, they came, both groaning their pleasure as they released. Brian could honestly say that it was the best sex he’d ever had in his life, the feeling putting him on top of the world. He could only hope that Julian felt even half of what he did.

Afterwards, Brian rolled off of his girlfriend, kissing her tenderly on the forehead as he let her lean in to him, putting her head on his shoulder. Her arm draped lazily over his stomach as they cuddled, their nude bodies pressed against one another as they fell asleep. Brian knew he would be dreaming about happy things that night, positive that this would make their relationship stronger rather than make things awkward in a way that it would destroy it. They were perfect, and nothing could change that.

Chapter Seven

‘This whole trial sure is taking awhile.” Nick sighed as he sipped on a cup of coffee that Kevin had made, all four of them lounging around his own Kentucky home, “Yuck, Kev…this is horrible.” He set the cup down, wishing he had bought some of the flavored stuff, or at least stuck in some cream or sugar, but knowing Kevin, he’d bought the ‘healthiest’ coffee there was.

“Then why are you drinking your third cup?” Kevin smirked, causing AJ and Howie to chuckle lightly.

Nick shrugged, “For the energy, I guess…caffeine is my friend.”

“It’s de-caff.” Kevin informed him.

“Oh, you’re no fun!” Nick exclaimed in annoyance.

“Nick proves a good point though!” AJ interrupted before an argument could break out, “This trial is taking awhile.”

“He’s being tried for murder, guys.” Kevin stated with a sigh, running a hand through his black hair, ‘God, I never thought that this would happen to us…I always thought that we were invincible from this kind of bull shit.”

“Nick wasn’t when he-“

“Don’t even go there.” Kevin interrupted AJ before he could start, already knowing where it was going, “Point is, murder trials normally take at least as long as Brian’s is, and in most cases, they could take up to years…unfortunately.”

Nobody said anything for a few moments, just sitting in the silence. There was yet another court date later that day, and after talking to Brian the day before, things were not looking good. Their friend was starting to get discouraged, the shine that had once always been in his eyes no matter what now gone completely. He hardly spoke to them, just sitting in a corner with his knees brought up against him protectively, his head held low so he wouldn’t have to look at anybody. He never smiled. Brian was giving up, and in all honesty, anybody in his situation probably would. There were countless people who were doing everything in their power to make Brian look bad.

“I’m kind of starting to think there is more to it too though,” AJ said out of nowhere, and when everybody looked at him, he elaborated more, “To what Rok is saying, that is.”

“What do you mean?” Kevin asked in dark monotone, glaring at the younger man.

“I…um…well,” AJ stuttered, nervous to speak, “His story is not adding up. When he isn’t on the stand, his story contradicts what he says in the court room. It’s just…I think he’s not admitting up to something.”

“Thank you!” Howie shouted triumphantly, glad that somebody was finally on his side in thoughts.

“You think that’s something to be proud of?” Kevin asked with his eyebrow raised, “You both feel that my cousin, your friend is guilty now?”

Howie swallowed, shrinking back slightly as AJ just shrugged. Howie felt bad for not having more faith in Brian, but he couldn’t help what his gut was telling him. And he knew that he shouldn’t have sounded so excited when AJ admitted that he was changing sides. That had come out completely wrong, and he felt his cheeks flaming up in reddened embarrassment for it. After all, if Brian was found guilty, it wasn’t exactly something that they should celebrate. He supposed that it just meant that he didn’t feel crazy any longer, being alone in his mindset. It meant that for once, somebody agreed with him…

“I don’t care what you think.” Kevin huffed, “Brian did not kill Julian.”

“I’m with Kevin,” Nick spoke up, “Bri doesn’t have it in him to kill somebody. We all should know this.”

Even as he said it though, everybody knew that the group was now divided in half, with Brian right down the middle. The trial was splitting the group of friend that had been so close for so long apart after just a few months. Their friendship was changing due to conflict in opinion, and the thing was, everybody was too angry and defensive to even really care.

“Just think about it…his story has changed several times now. He keeps adding stuff on, denying things he’s said in the past.” Howie pointed out.

“He’s upset.” Kevin shook his head in disgust, “Think about it. For once, Howard, just think. His mind isn’t on the trial. It’s on finding the love of his life…alive.”

Howie let his head hang low, deciding not to say anything more. Everybody else had grown silent as well. He figured it would just be best if he shut his mouth and think what he did, keeping it all inside of him. The conversation had started out so light and joking about coffee and turned in to a strong disliking for one another.

The trial wasn’t exactly going good, but at least there had been no change in awhile. Things were as bad as they were going to get. Kevin was confident in that. Things wouldn’t get any worse. They couldn’t…

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Flashback
August 1st, 2005

“Oh god, he’s off in dreamland again.” AJ rolled his eyes as they finished packing the last of their bags on to their individual busses.

“I am not!” Brian defended himself, yet his goofy smile gave him away, “I wish Jules could have been here today to see me off…so I could say goodbye to her.” He sighed.

It was time for their full-blown tour, and just three days prior, he and Julian had made love for the first time. It was the happiest moment of his entire life, but now, his heart was beginning to sink, as he had to leave again, and she still couldn’t go with them as originally planned. If everything worked out however, she would be going with them after the NewYear to finish off the tour. Five months…he just had to get through five more months without her, and then all would be right in the world again.

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” AJ teased, nudging Brian, who just looked over with a frown, “Whoa, mood change much.”

Brian shrugged, “I just wish her job wouldn’t make her work so much.” He stated, “She asked for this time off, but they gave her more hours yet.”

His eyes darkened, tempted to go to her work and drag her out. He wouldn’t even care if she were fired, because that would mean that he could take care of her totally and completely. Too bad she loved what she did so much…

‘Earth to Brian!” Nick called out with a grin.

Brian looked up blankly at them, confused and lost. He sighed, seeing that some clouds were rolling in. At least his flight to Tampa, where the tour was taking off, had been smooth and sunny. He always hated flying in the middle of a storm…

‘BRIAN!”

He looked up again to see four pairs of eyes watching him in amusement as well as exasperation. He shook his head, knowing that he would have to focus. If his mind wandered this much while he was on stage, there would be many disasters during the tour.

“I swear, Julian is making you become worse than Nick.” Kevin teased.

“Hey!” Nick cried out.

“She is not!” Brian defended himself at the same time, but the goofy smile appeared on his lips again, “I’m just…in love.” He sighed, “I’ve never felt this way before, guys. She’s my everything. It’s just…amazing, To wake up every morning, knowing you have that special somebody in your life that makes everything worth while. Somebody to hold, go to in times of need, somebody to love you back for who you are on the inside and out, knowing you without judging you. Accepting you. She’s the only person whose ever made my heart beat faster, and slower at the same time.” Brian looked up to see his friends looking at him as if he had grown a second head, “What?”

“Gag-o-rama!” AJ exclaimed, sticking his finger down his throat, making mock retching noises.

“That is the sappiest thing I have ever heard!” Nick groaned,

“I swear, you sound like a woman expressing her feelings!” Kevin joked, “I’m happy for you though. You deserve somebody special in your life like this.”

“Just don’t go admitting those feelings to other people,” AJ warned, “It will get your ass beat four sounding like a wuss.”

Brian rolled his eyes, realizing that it was almost time to go. He made sure his cell phone was in his pocket so he could call Julian the second he was on his bus in private, where nobody could razz him for letting his feelings free. He, for one, knew that Julian loved his soft, romantic side. What girl wouldn’t eat up being adored by their boyfriend, the guy not afraid to express how he felt because it wasn’t ‘macho’

“I’m thinking of proposing to her.”

“WHAT” he heard his friends all gasp at once.

“You’ve only been dating for like, six months.” Kevin reminded him, “Give it more time…you’re in way over your head now.”

“I’m not asking for your approval.” Brian’s eyes darkened, “And I was thinking New Years Eve…right as the clock strikes midnight. We’ll be at almost a year then.”

“We’ll support any decision you make, just think long and hard about it before you commit to anything.” Kevin patted his cousin on the back.

“We’re happy that you found somebody who makes you so happy though, honestly.” Howie added with a smile, “She’s a great woman.”

Brian said nothing as they were informed that it was time to leave, each man getting on to his own bus. He was firmly set in his decision. He was going to propose to Julian, for he refused to let her get away. She was his girlfriend, forever and always. That was how he wanted it. As he took a seat, Brian whipped out his cell phone, dialing Julian’s number. It had only been six hours, but he already missed her voice, needing to hear it to get him through another few hours. It was going to be a long five months…

Chapter Eight

As the Judge called the court in to order, Brian couldn’t help but roll his eyes, trying to hide his displeasure and annoyance as best he could. It seemed that nothing was working out, going as planned. And to further prove his point, there was a nice little unexpected surprise that day. A new witness being called to the stand, sticking their nose in to the case after it had been going on for over six months. Brian wondered if that was allowed, cursing under his breath because this meant things would be slowed down even more. Why was there somebody new coming in to the picture so late in to the trial anyways?

Forcing himself to stay focused, Brian watched as a man around his age took to the stand, sitting down. He was of medium height and average build with reddish colored hair and what looked to be blue eyes from a distance. It was somebody whom Brian had never seen in his life, wondering what he had to do with anything? Was it another family member of Julian’s? A friend? He was confused, but decided he needed to listen to find out.

“So, Eric, you do not personally know Brian, is that correct?” Mr. Settina asked.

“No, sir. I don’t.”

“But you’ve seen him before?”

“Yes.”

“Please tell us what you saw.”

“Well,” Eric started, “I was driving home from work. I’m a bartender at a local bar just by the border. It was about two in the morning, and I see a car stopping on the bridge just over the Kentucky River. I stopped and turned my headlights off because it was late and a person was getting out of the car. You never know what kind of psychos are out that late, so I kept my distance,” he paused for a second before continuing on, “Whoever it was got in to the back seat, dragging something out. It was dark and I couldn’t see what it was, but he dumped it over the bridge and then got back in to his car and drove off.”

“And you think it was Mr. Littrell that you saw?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

“And you think it was a body he was carrying?”

“As I said, I was too far back, but from a distance, it looked like a possibility.”

Julian’s mother stifled a cry, bowing her head in to a tissue as Brian just looked at Eric in disbelief. His heart hammered as he wanted to cry out in protest, but he couldn’t. His mouth had become dry and he couldn’t think of a word to say, so he just sat in dumbfounded silence, staring ahead as Mr. Williams went up to question Eric, listening to what else the young man had to say about what he thought he’d seen as his own lawyer tried to make him not look bad.

“Now Eric, did you go down to the bank to try and find what it was that you say you saw Brian dumping over?”

“No sir. The water is pretty deep in the area. I just waited until he was back in his car and out of sight again before driving off myself. I didn’t really think anything of it at the time, but looking back…” he took in a deep breath.

“Did it occur to you to go to the police right then and there?” Mr. Williams questioned.

“I honestly didn’t think that it was a body. It could have been anything…a bag of garbage, logs. When I heard about this case, I started to think…I still am not one hundred percent sure what it was, but just in case…” his voice trailed off.

“But if there had been any doubt in your mind at all, you should have called the police.” Mr. Williams pressed, “Even if all that was found was a stuffed cat.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what else to say.”

Mr. Williams sighed, “Thank you. We’ll let you know if we have further questioning.”

Eric nodded, leaving the stand, going over to the officers as he was motioned to join them. Their was a long stand still in the court room as the officers talked amongst themselves with Eric, one of them stepping outside of the room with the man. Brian could only imagine what was going to happen now. No, he already knew. They were going to send the SWAT team, Search and Rescue squad, a team of divers and Lord knew who else down to investigate and search for Julian. They were going to take Eric down to the river to point out exactly where he’d seen the crime take place. Brian hoped that they didn’t find anything, but what more could he do than just sit back and see what happened.

Not long after, the court was dismissed for the day. It had been a short day, and hadn’t even been planned. With the new witness though, the trial date had been called last minute. Tired and restless, Brian waited while the court room emptied, watching Julian’s parents go. He could see that they were breaking down and he wished he could do something to take away the pain that they were feeling. That he was feeling. Nothing could, nor probably ever would though. With a sigh of despair, Brian had a feeling that the trial was just about coming to an end. When it came down to it, he wasn’t really sure if he wanted it to after all, because that meant he was one day closer to knowing what his fate was left to. That in itself scared him to death.

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Flashback
December 25th, 2005

As Brian fiddled with the box containing Julian’s Christmas gift, anxiously awaiting her arrival to his house, he felt his nerves jumble up. He sure hoped she liked what he’d gotten her, because it had come from his heart, and he’d searched for months until he felt he’d found the perfect gift. After all, it was their first Christmas together, and he wanted Julian to know how much she meant to him. He didn’t even expect anything in return. All Brian wanted was to spoil his girl and show her that he would give her the world without her having to do a thing.

Hearing the doorbell right, Brian placed the gift back under the tree and got up to answer it, already knowing who it was without even having to guess. He was expecting Julian at approximately ten, followed by his siblings and parents at noon-ish, and finally, the rest of his friends later in the evening. It was tradition for them to all get together every Christmas.

“Hi sweetie!” Julian greeted him, pulling him in to a hug the second he answered the door.

“Merry Christmas, babe.” Brian replied, accepting the embrace as he planted a kiss on her, “Come in! I’ve got milk, cookies and eggnog… and was waiting for you to get here before I made you my special pancakes.”

Julian laughed, shaking her head as she took her coat off, hanging it up. She then met up with her boyfriend in the kitchen to find him already mixing the ingredients in a bowl, likely already set out and ready for when she arrived. She stood by the counter with her arms crossed over her chest, a sweet smile on her face.

“Shouldn’t it be me cooking for you?” Julian asked after several moments.

“Not a chance,” Brian joked, “This is my treat for you.”

As he finished mixing the batter, he scooped up ladles of the batter, pouring them on to the already hot griddle. They sizzled upon contact, slowly turning a golden brown as he flipped them, the scent of buttermilk filling the air. Julian closed her eyes, savoring the scent, realizing it may have been the best thing she’d ever smelled. Then again, it was coming from Brian. She was biased on everything involving him.

After they were finished, Brian prepared them by spreading butter across the warm surface, followed by mini chocolate chips, whipped cream and a side of strawberry topping. Julian had never seen anything like it, but trusted his judgment as she took the plate from him.

“Thank you.” She whispered softly, following Brian to the living room where he had a fire going and a small blanket spread out right in front of it. He sat down, and she did too, looking around, “You put a lot of thought in to this, didn’t you?”

“Anything for you.” Brian smiled, leaning in to kiss her, as she looked simply irresistible.

“It’s romantic.” Julian blushed faintly, cutting a small bite of the pancakes off with the side of her fork, putting it in to her mouth. Immediately, she closed her eyes, the taste unbelievable, “Mmm…my God, these are fantastic!” she exclaimed

“It’s a secret family recipe,” Brian winked, “But if you play your cards right, I just might let you in on it.”

Julian laughed as she slapped Brian playfully across the arm. For the next several minutes, the two just ate, enjoying each others company as the warm fire flickered around them, Christmas Carols playing softly in the background. When both were finished, Brian took Julian’s plate and his own to he kitchen, washing them and sticking them in the dishwasher before returning, sitting back down next to her, pulling her in to his arms.

“I’m glad you’re here with me today.” He admitted openly, “It means a lot to me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of spending today with anybody else.”

Brian smiled as he kissed her again on the tip of her nose. This was the life. He couldn’t ask for anything more perfect nor something that would make him happier. To Brian, it couldn’t get any better than this. Reaching behind him under the tree, he figured it was time to give Julian his gift to her. Taking it in his hand, he brought it forward, handing it towards her, laughing when her eyes widened in surprise.

‘For you.” He explained, his heart racing as she took it, crossing his fingers in his mind that she would love it as much as he thought she would.

“You really didn’t have to…” her voice trailed off as she slowly and neatly unfolded the golden foil wrapping paper to reveal a small rectangular velvet box. Slowly, she opened the lid to expose a silver bracelet with the tiniest of diamonds rounding the circumference of it. She gasped, taking it out gingerly as if it would snap by the weight of her fingertips, “Ohh..”

“Let me help you with it,” Brian smiled, taking it and putting it around her wrist, clasping the ends together, “There.”

Julian looked down, admiring the glittering beauty of the bracelet, knowing that it had to have cost him a small fortune, “It’s gorgeous…” her voice trailed off, at loss for words on how to describe how she felt about it.

‘Glad you like it.” Brian grinned, looking at her cautiously when she handed him an envelope she’d retrieved from her purse, “What’s this?”

“My gift for you…” she shrugged, “It’s nothing great…nothing compared to what you got me, but I tried…” her voice trailed off nervously as he opened the envelope, taking the card out and reading it, “I hope you like it anyways.”

Brian continued to read, opening the card up to reveal his gift inside. His eyes widened in utter surprise as he squinted, bringing it up as if he thought he were seeing things, before looking back up at Julian.

“These are tickets to the Super Bowl.” He exclaimed, an excited smile on his face, “At the fifty yard line…in the best section.”

“I tried…since I know you love football and all…and I know you could get tickets yourself without a problem, but…”

‘It’s perfect!” Brian promised, hushing her with a kiss. He’d never felt so much love for anybody in all his life, and the gift showed how much she cared about him. And behind it yet, was a hotel confirmation to the finest Hotel, Spa and Resort in the country for one full week of pampering for the two of them, the date set for the second week of May. He could only imagine how much she’d gone through to get him everything, and appreciated it more than he could ever express. It was turning out to be his most special and memorable Christmas yet. With his heart swollen with pride and adoration that she was his, Brian figured it was time to ask her a question he’d been wanting to ask for a few weeks time now, “Jules, this means everything to me. You mean everything to me.” He took in a deep breath, “Would you consider moving in with me?”

Her eyes widened in surprise as her mouth dropped slightly. And then, without a second more of hesitation, she gave him her answer…

Chapter Nine

Brian swallowed as he closed his eyes, taking in a deep, soothing breath. Another couple of weeks had passed since Eric had come in, confessing that he’d seen Brian dumping something over the bridge. So far, nothing had come up, but the search crews were still looking, not giving up quite yet. Praying so hard that nothing was found, Brian was unsure of what would happen if it did. No, he knew what would happen.

Looking around the courtroom, he felt as if he spent more time on the stand or in that room than he did in prison. Not like that was such a horrible thing. It meant he was out in the world, free so to speak, for a couple of hours at least. But then again, when locked away, he didn’t have to have the gut wrenching feeling, like somebody stabbing him over and over again, of what was going to happen, because at any given moment, the trial could take an unexpected as well as unwanted turn. Then again, it could also turn around for the better.

“Brian, can you tell us what happened the night of March twenty-fifth, two thousand and five?” Mr. Settina asked, pacing the court room three feet at a time, back and forth for several seconds before stopping dead center, looking at Brian.

“We’ve been over this before.” Brian grumbled in exasperated annoyance.

“Answer the question.”

Brian tried his best not to roll his eyes without much accomplishment, his blue eyes showing how foul his mood was. It seemed that every single time he was on the stand, he was asked the same questions over and over again. He was getting sick and tired of it all. It was as if everybody in the room were morons, not getting it through their thick skulls what he was answering with. Was it really that hard to understand?

“Brian, answer the question.”

“We were about to make love…I’d just gotten back from remainder of the Never Gone tour. I was reaching for a condom, and found a pair of boxers stuffed between the bed and the night stand…which weren’t mind. She confessed that she’d cheated on me…” Brian closed his eyes at the thought of the painful memories, “We started to yell, she slapped me...more yelling…” Brian’s voice trailed off, shaking his head. He honestly didn’t want to go there. He didn’t want to replay the night in his mind, for it was one he would never forget for the rest of his life, no matter what the outcome of the trial was.

‘And then, what happened?” Mr. Settina pressed, “You said before that you hit her back.”

“I…I grabbed her arms…to restrain her, so she couldn’t hit me again. She kneed me in the crotch, and…I pushed her…”

“You pushed her?” Mr. Settina asked, “And then what?”

“I…she fell through the window. I left the room after that, just so upset and…I don’t know.”

Gasps were heard all throughout the court room at Brian’s latest confession. One that he’d failed to mention before, and Brian realized his slip right away. He closed his eyes and groaned inwardly, knowing he’d made a huge mistake and possibly enormous sacrifice to his own reputation. He could see the eyes of everybody looking at him with such hatred and such animosity for his previous lie. Even those of his friends. Suspicion could be seen by the gazes they were casting his way. All of a sudden, Brian’s skin started to prickle in heat and uncomfortableness, knowing he was about to be caught. He’d left that specific detail out for a reason, and now he’d have to try and fix his blunder.

“I thought you said that he left your home willingly,’ Mr. Settina reminded him of what he already knew, “You got in to a fight and told her to leave, and she ran from the house.”

Sweat started to bead on Brian’s forehead as he recalled saying that as if it were just yesterday. This was not good…not good at all.

“I…um…I” Brian felt like slamming his forehead against the desk in front of him. This was backfiring. He’d dug himself a hole he knew that there was no way he could pull himself out of.

“So what you are saying now completely contradicts what you’ve said in the past.” Mr. Settina appeared to almost be glowing at this revelation.

Brian bowed his head in shame, knowing that he was done for. In fact, he barely heard another word the Lawyer was saying, his answers vague until the last inquiry. It was then that his head snapped up, feeling the need to defend himself somehow.

“So after you pushed her, you went and got her body, driving her hours to the other side of the state to throw her off of the bridge in to the Kentucky River, hoping she would never be found.”

“No!” Brian nearly shouted, “I did not do that.”

“Then how did she get there?”

Brian tried to think of something…anything to come up with. He wracked his brain, knowing that time was his enemy in this situation, and the longer his pause, the worse his position looked. Finally, he said the only thing he could think of, it being about the lamest answer he could have come up with.

“I…I don’t know.” Brian mumbled with a troubled sigh.

He looked around, hoping that since his confession, people would believe his attempt to try to look innocent. He could tell though, that not a single person believed him now. Everybody had turned their backs on him because of one small, unintentional slip up. Even his friends, who couldn’t even look at him anymore, and that hurt him just as much as everything else.

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Flashback
December 28th, 2005

“I can’t believe I’m moving in with you…three days after you asked me!” Julian laughed with a shake of her head, setting down a box of her clothing, “I mean, I canceled my lease and all at the apartment, but…I still technically live there for another month…”

“Which I’m taking care of for you,” Brian reminded her, “Everything you have is being moved to a storage area…and your clothes and things…” he smiled at her, pulling the woman in to him to kiss her neck lovingly, “I can’t believe we’re going to live together.”

“Yeah…pretty surreal,” Julian agreed, “When you asked, I assumed after the tour ended…and here we are…”

The couple exchanged a look before going back down to Julian’s car to retrieve a few more boxes, carrying them up the flight of stairs. Setting them down along the wall with the dozens of other boxes, Julian stretched, bending backwards to stretch her back, lifting her arms way above her head. She could definitely feel herself wearing down from the move. Her body was sore and tense, knowing she’d have to somehow guilt Brian in to giving her a massage later. Not that it would take much…

If on cue, the man came up behind her, rubbing her shoulders in firm yet gentle circular motions. Julian closed her eyes and moaned softly in pleasure, the feeling incredible to her knotted muscles. In her mind, Julian wondered if she was making the right choice, leaping in to living with Brian so quickly. But in her heart, she felt it was a safe thing to do, and it would only bring their relationship to higher, closer, more serious levels. It was her heart that had overpowered her mind, telling her to just do it. And even though she was nervous about what the long-term outcome would be, she decided that now was the perfect time to find out. So far, everything seemed better than ever.

“Why don’t you say we go grab another load of boxes from your old place, bring it in here…then order pizzas.” Brian suggested, “Grab a six pack of coke or whatever?”

“Sounds great!” Julian enthused, her stomach rumbling all of a sudden from hunger, not realizing how famished she actually was until the man had mentioned food. And to make maters worse, she was starting to feel herself salivating at the thought of the oozing extra cheese and the scent of pepperoni and freshly baked pizza dough.

“You okay, baby?” Brian asked, automatically taking her silence personally and as a bad sign, “You aren’t changing your mind on me now, are you?”

Julian laughed, “Oh, God no! Just…thinking. All good stuff, I promise.”

“Like what?” Brian inquired with a flirtatious smile.

“I don’t know…” Julian teased with a wink, “How I can’t wait to have this house all to myself…”

“Hey!” Brian defended himself with a gasp, mocking being offended.

Julian laughed as she rolled her eyes, them moving in together and their relationship seeming so natural, so fitting. Especially when Brian charged at her, grabbing her in his arms as he tickled her sides. Julian squealed, trying to squirm away as they both fell to the floor, Brian holding on tight as he continued to tickle her, tears streaming down her face as she laughed, wriggling her body and twisting with no luck of breaking free.

‘STOP!” she cried out, gasping for air, “Please…stop it!”

“Give me one good reason why I should?” Brian teased, slowing down slightly, but not quitting completely.

“Because…I said so!”

“Hmmm…” Brian seemed to be deep in thought as he slowly moved his fingers against her bare sides, “I guess so.”

And just liked that, he stopped, turning over so he was lying on his back, Julian against him with her head on his chest. She took in a deep breath as he leaned in to kiss her softly, taking in the sweet scent of her hair. He could have laid there like that forever, the comfort of their bodies so close to each other, just listening to the rhythm of the others heart beating. Nothing could have broken the spell that he was under. Things were perfect.

“This is really going to work, isn’t it?” She asked, “You and me…it’s going to be okay.”

“Yeah, I think it is.” Brian replied without any doubt in his mind whatsoever.

Chapter Ten

As the group lounged around their hotel suite lazily, it was easy to see that they were all becoming restless and anxious. The trial had been going on for eight months, the search for Julian’s body in the Kentucky River still pulling up no evidence. They’d seen no more of Eric since his day on the stand, making them wonder what was going on with him behind the scenes, if anything at all. It was as if the witness had been there one day, and then disappeared in to thin air the next, Just as Julian had.

“I’m really getting sick and tired of this damned hotel room and waiting around,” AJ grumbled, speaking his mind for everybody else as he stared blankly at the evening news on the flat screen television. His posture was slumped, his demeanor grumpy, “I wish we could just up and go home already. It’s not like any of us believe him.”

“That’s besides the point,” Kevin sighed, running his fingers through his hair in distress, “We need to stick around through the end…just in case.”

“Just in case of what, exactly?” AJ challenged, his eyes narrowed to slits, “Eric saw him kill her- I doubt he’ll be found innocent.”

“In case they don’t find her or he really was seeing things. The possibilities are endless. I mean, yes, we all think that he’s hiding something and really did do something to her, but just in case we’re surprised by the outcome, we shouldn’t abandon him completely just yet.” Kevin debated, still feeling the need to defend his cousin to a certain extent.

AJ sighed, “That’s true…I’m sorry.” He guiltily replied, hating to sound so harsh and cruel towards his friend.

For the longest series of moments, nobody said a word. The truth was, despite what he’d said, not even Kevin knew why they were still there. After all, even he felt his cousin had gone over the edge in a sporadic moment of craziness. For some strange reason though, he felt the need to protect the man, even though deep down, he knew that it was a stupid and unworthy thing to do. A gut wrenching feeling came over him at the thought of somebody murdering his wife. He swore that if anybody ever did anything of the sort, he’d personally make sure that they were taken care of.

Everything had been so out of wack for the past few months. Days blended in to one another, countless trial dates that never seemed to bring anything new. It was an endless process that seemed to never have any answers. Nothing new was ever delivered, which was frustrating to a point of causing temporary insanity from boredom. Not to mention each one slowly, one by one, deciding that they didn’t know if they believed in their friend any longer. It hurt them and guilted them to doubt Brian, but nobody could deny that something just didn’t feel right.

Suddenly, as if on cue, the words BREAKING NEWS, LIVE flashed across the bottom of the screen as a middle aged woman came in to view of the cameras. Any of them could recognize the scene from anywhere, even in the darkness. From the wind lashing around her, the womans hair whipped around in every direction, the waters below her spashing ever so often. The look on her face was serious, somber. And then, she began to speak of a story all of them knew very well, delivering information that would hopefully answer some questions that they’d been dying to get answers to.

“We’re at the scene where Eric Walker, who earlier this month, reportedly stated that he saw Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys dumping what appeared to be a body in to the Kentucky River. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the investigation, Brian has been on trial over the past several months for the disappearance and murder of his girlfriend. There is good news and bad, for the search is officially over with a not so happy ending, the family of Julian Edwards finally getting some long awaited answers. Just about an hour ago, the body was recovered just under one hundred feet from the bridge where she was supposedly dropped from. Investigators say however, that this is in fact the girl that they’ve been looking for over the past month.

As of now, we don’t have any more detailed information, other than investigators will be working hard to determine if Mr. Littrell is in fact the cause of her death. Hopefully, there will be some answers soon. We’ll keep you posted as we find out more information. Again, I’m Kelly Morse, with channel eight news.

As the scene changed to a local traffic report, the four men just stared at the TV in disbelief. Not one said a word, nobody really knowing how to react or what to say, for everything was becoming real now. Julian had been found right where Eric had said she would be. The thing was, even though they’d all been pretty sure that she would be, it still came as a blow to all of them because it meant any inner hope, tucked deep away in reservation, had been taken away.

“My God…” Howie whispered.

“Holy shit…” AJ muttered, shaking his head, “He really did do it.”

“I can’t believe…” Nick’s voice trailed off, feeling a tremble coming about because his once best friend was a murderer.

Everything else went in slow motion around them as they tried to get a tight grasp on the situation, letting it all sink in completely. It was then that each slowly begun to realize how different things really were going to be from now on. That in a matter of just a couple more weeks, Brian would be found guilty. This was the last of them being a five-some of friends. It was now them against Brian. Now, Brian was truly alone in the world, with nobody to back him up because the truth was, nobody felt he deserved it.

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Flashback
December 31st, 2005/January 1st, 2006

“Awww…look whose under the mistletoe!” Nick chimed out, walking over to Brian and Julian who were casually talking, each having a drink in hand.

Both looked over to the blonde, the rest of their friends watching them as well. Brian shot them a look and Julian blushed, turning away. At the same time they looked up to see that they were in fact standing under their mistletoe, and then their eyes locked.

“Might as well, right?” Brian laughed.

“Yeah,” Julian agreed.

At once, they leaned in to one another, their lips meeting as all around them, coos and cheers were heard from their friends. Brian started to chuckle, shaking his head, the laughter disrupting the kiss only momentarily until he leaned in, ready to finish it off with passion and lust. Julian showed just as much eagerness, pulling Brian in to her and holding on tight.

‘Don’t forget to come up for oxygen.” AJ cracked after several long moments.

Brian pulled away, just shaking his head in distaste at his friends, but he couldn’t help but smile, and after looking at Julian, she was doing the same. Brian was just thankful that it hadn’t been Julian under the mistletoe with anybody else, or else he’d be having to kick some ass, out of jealousy. Jealousy that he would never admit, but none the less…jealousy. And from the way his friends talked about how gorgeous they thought Julian was, he knew that they would enjoy that kiss too…

“You two are too sweet together,” Kevin’s wife, Kristin smiled, “It reminds me of how Kev and I were in the beginning.”

“And still are,” Kevin jumped in, wrapping his arms around his wife from behind, kissing and nuzzling her neck.

“Yes, and still are.” Kristin laughed as she reassured Kevin, shaking her head at the man who wanted to let it be known that they were still treating their relationship as if it were young and fresh.

Brian looked at his cousin and his wife, then back to his own girlfriend. He hoped that they were as happy in another five years, and ten, and fifteen. Kevin and Kristin had been together for as long as he could remember. Long before the group had formed. If things continued to go the way they were, Brian could see himself definitely having the same type of relationship. It was written in the stars for him.

Taking the girl by the hand, Brian felt his heart flutter. They’d made it almost a year together. They were making it in to a new year, and he felt his love for her grow stronger by the day. He could only hope that she felt the same for him. If she did, his live would be complete…

“Two minutes til midnight!” Nick called out, breaking his chain of thought.

Brian looked to the TV and sure enough, the big clock in Time Square said that there were less than two minutes until it was officially 2006. Pulling Julian in closer to him, the entire group gathered around the big screen TV to watch the ball drop in celebration. Although the tradition was somewhat juvenile, and was the same each year, it was still exciting to watch and say that they’d made it, living another full three hundred and sixty five days.

When the clock got down to ten seconds, everybody on the TV started to count down, along with the group of friends, and finally, the ball dropped, flashing as it fell and everybody cheered, doing a toast for the occasion.

“What are everybody’s resolutions?” Kevin asked, turning his attention away from the TV as the partiers that were actually at Time Square continued to dance and drink the night away.

“Don’t have one!” Nick laughed, “Other than to umm…to…be on time to studio recordings for our next album.”

“Haha!” AJ cracked, ‘That’ll happen.” Nick scowled, “Mine is to quit smoking…”

“Now that is not going to happen.” Nick laughed.

“Let me finish,” AJ held his hand up, “For at least January…and if I can’t do that, cut back to half a pack a day.”

“Still a long shot, but…” AJ rolled his eyes at Nick’s picking on him.

“How about you, Brian?”

Brian looked up, distracted from his preoccupied thoughts. He shrugged, his cheeks flaming up as all the attention was put on him. Was it obvious that he was thinking something important? Could they read his mind by the smile on his face? Brian didn’t know, but he figured the time had come to do what he’d had planned all along. His heart started to pound even more intensely and he had to swallow away his nerves from chickening out completely.

“I ah, I don’t exactly have a resolution, but there is something I’d like to ask you…Jules.” He smiled shakily, digging in to his pocket to pull out a small black box made of velvet. He knelt down, his knees wobbly, having to take a second to compose himself so he wouldn’t tip over, “You mean the world to me. You’ve been there for me through the thick and thin, ups and downs…stuck with me while I was on tour. You complete me, and I don’t think I ever have and ever could love anybody as much as I love you. I’d love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you there by my side…as my wife. So Julian, would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

The room grew so silent that one could have possibly heard a pin drop. Julian stood frozen, a small gasp escaping her lips as Brian opened up the box to reveal an extravagant diamond ring, probably more expensive than anything that one could buy in even the best of jewelry stores. Looking up in to his girlfriends eyes, Brian could see a blank, as well as stunned expression. His heart, which had originally been beating in excitement, was now turning in to a nervous rhythm, and in the not so good way. His smile was fading, and all eyes were still on the two of them. What was she thinking? If only he knew…

“Jules?” he laughed nervously, “Will you marry me?”

Julian took in a deep breath, her eyes tearing up slightly, but it was obvious without a doubt that it wasn’t from happiness.

“Brian…I love you too…but…everything…its just happening so fast.” Brian’s heart cracked a little, knowing where this was going, “I can’t marry you right now…I mean, we just moved in together three days ago…you just asked me a week ago…and now marriage,” she inhaled deeply, it paining her to hurt Brian.

“What are you saying?” Brian asked, embarrassed that his proposal was being turned down, and in front of all of his friends yet, “Are you saying we should break up?”

“No…no…nothing like that,” Julian explained quickly, looking down at Brian who was still kneeling on one knee, “Just…spend some time apart…while you finish up the tour.”

“We just spent five months apart…you were supposed to go with me.” Brian begged.

Julian sniffled, watching Brian tear up as everything started to sink in finally, her own eyes blurred by tears, “I’m sorry…” she shrugged, knowing Brian was leaving in the morning, “Good luck on the tour…” her voice trailed off as she ran from the room, sobbing loudly as soon as she reached the door.

For another long moment, Brian just stayed low to the ground, shocked at what had just happened. Nobody said anything, afraid that it would set their friend off, who didn’t know what to think, what to feel, but after what had just happened, Brian was numb, not knowing how or if he would ever feel anything again.

Chapter Eleven

Brian could swear that his heart had never pounded so fiercely in his entire life as it was at that moment. His palms were sweaty as he wiped them on his pants. In fact, his entire body was sweating. Butterflies filled the depth of his stomach, nibbling away at his insides. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Brian was absolutely petrified. He’d prayed this day would never come, staying awake as if that would make the night last forever and time stand still. Morning had come though, the sun slowly making its way up from behind the hills in the horizon. The final day of his trial was here. The day Brian’s fate would take its course and he’d find out the destiny the jury had voted suitable after six and a half months.

Turning and looking around at the near full court room, Brian tried to read what each person was thinking by the expression on their faces. After several moments, he gave up relentlessly, for every face was blank. Even the faces of his friends, which made him wonder if they were even on his side anymore, or if they were just there for show to make their reputations look good to the public for ‘standing by him’. Brian snorted back a laugh at the irony of the situation, because in reality, he knew he was alone. Unless the Judge declared him ‘not guilty’ Then, he would have friends coming back left and right as if nothing had happened.

Despite everything, Brian had to admit that he missed Julian more than anything. If he could take back time and undo everything, he would. She’d been gone for over eight months now. He knew she was dead. After all, nobody hearing from her was the first indication, then her body being found the final blow. A single tear formed in the corner of his eye as Brian realized he would never get to hold her in his arms again. He would never kiss her, cuddle with her, make love to her. They would never get married or have arguments that all couples had, and would never get the pleasure of making up, showering her with affections to get her forgiveness. He would never have any of it now. Not with Julian, anyways. Maybe not with anybody ever again.

Gazing over to Adrian and Kennith, Brian could easily see how tense they were. Likely, they were begging for him to be locked away for life on the inside, or even sentenced to death. Either way, he knew he’d be miserable. When it all came down to it, Brian wasn’t sure which he would rather if it came to the negative route. It seemed that no matter what, if he were found guilty, it was going to be a lose, lose situation. Hell, maybe he did deserve to rot away in a prison cell. After all, all of this was happening for a reason. To Brian, everything happened for a reason.

Suddenly, Brian wished that he could just die. He was hurting so much, emotionally, physically, mentally. He felt as if his insides were being torn out and ripped to pieces. His head pounded with an intense throbbing pain and his heart felt as if it were about to shatter. The only thing to him, that would take him from this misery, would be if he were to just end his time on Earth. After all, Brian didn’t believe that there were any possible way for any of it to ever pass. He would forever be tortured on the inside and out.

When the Judge appeared, Brian rose on trembling legs to his feet along with everybody else, and took his seat again upon the Judge stating that the court was, at that moment, now in order, Brian swallowed. He honestly could say he had no clue how this would turn out in the long run, but he knew that within a few short minutes, he would have his fate out in the open. If only he had any indication at all about what was about to happen to him. If only…

“When it comes to the murder of Julian Edwards, the State of Kentucky has ruled Brian Littrell…” the Judge started

Brian closed his eyes, the next second seeming to be an hour in itself. Time passed by in slow motion, and he held his breath as his sentence was spewed from the lips of the Judge.

“Guilty.”

Brian let out his breath as he hung his head low. Not a peep was heard and a few tears fell from his eyes. He didn’t even hear his sentence of thirty years to life in prison, because everything around him was just a whirl pool. And then suddenly, he felt two strong pairs of hands on either side of him as he was picked up and lead out of the court room. As he walked by, he saw the look of relief on Julian’s parents faces, and his friends avoiding looking at him all together. If he could turn back time and change everything, Brian would. But he couldn’t, and the sad truth was, he couldn’t even escape his misery. He would be forced to live with what had happened forever, without anybody by his side. He was all alone, and likely would be for the rest of his life.

As he was thrown in the back of the police car, Brian looked out of the window, trying to make the most of it, as he didn’t know when he would get to enjoy the outdoors again. It was a partly cloudy day, the sky darkening as if fitting his mood, and when a couple of raindrops fell, it was as if the angels of Heaven were crying for his troubled, demented soul.

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Flashback
March 25th, 2006

“Mmm…I love your kisses.” Julian mumbled as she leaned in to Brian, hungry for more.

Brian laughed softly as he caressed Julian’s skin, not letting up on the kisses. He’d been away for far too long, and now it was time to catch up with his girlfriend. They’d gone through a rocky few months while he’d been on tour with the Boys for the US/Canada portion. After all, she’d declined his proposal right before the tour, and then they’d agreed that maybe it would be a good idea if they’d spent some time apart. He’d been distraught at the time, but after several months to sleep on it, he’d decided that none of that really mattered. All they needed was more time before taking that next and final step in to their relationship.

“I missed you, Jules.”

“I missed you.” She breathed back, kissing his neck in a way that caused shivers to go up and down his spine.

A cool night breeze filtered the air, blowing through the open window. The curtains rustled in the wind, making the setting even more romantic in its own little way. The moon was high and bright, the stars clearly visible. They shone through the window, casting their glow upon the couple as they held one another in bed.

As they continued to make out, stripping one another of their clothing, Brian was starting to unhook Julian’s bra as he reached to the nightstand to pluck a condom from the bottom drawer. Fumbling around with the bra clasps as well as the drawer, he felt something shoved between the nightstand and bed, shoved under the bed slightly. Grabbing it with his hand to see what it was, Brian saw a pair of boxers that weren’t his. He swallowed, sitting up quickly as he pulled away from his confused girlfriend. Quickly flipping the light on, his breathing became heavy as he swallowed back his aching heart and anger.

“Wha…what’s this?” he asked.

“Your boxers, silly.” Julian laughed somewhat nervously, leaning over to kiss Brian on the shoulder and try to pull him in to an embrace to get his mind off of it. Brian roughly pulled away though, standing up. His skin started to prickle in anger, his body becoming hot. Julian got up after him, confusion etched in her face.

“What is it?”

“Don’t play dumb with me…whose are these?”

“Yours.” She said again, only less convincingly this time.

Brian laughed bitterly as he shook his head, looking on the inside of the boxers at the tag. He looked back up, “Size small. I wear medium. Nice try, you dirty little tramp…now whose are they?” his voice was rising, and Julian was starting to break down and cry, “Answer me…NOW!” he demanded.

“I…I’m s-s-so sorry.” Her voice cracked when she answered.

“How many times?” Brian asked, his voice showing immense hurt as well as a hint of anger. When Julian bowed her head in shame without answering, his voice rose again, “HOW MANY TIMES?”

“Twice…only two times.” She cried out.

“When you’re devoted to somebody, once is too many.” Brian yelled, “Why?”

“You were never home…it just happened. It was a mistake….I swear.”

“I was never home?” Brian cried out in disbelief, “Maybe because I was working half way across the world! I proposed to you. Did that not tell you at all how I felt? Are you that heartless?”

There was nothing Julian could say as she tried to hide her face that was now tear streaked. She was ashamed, wanting to take it all back. Why had she cheated on Brian? His words were harsh and stung, and as much as she didn’t want to hear the verbal blows, she knew that she deserved them. God, how she hoped that this would blow over, because here she was in a fight with Brian and it was tearing her apart. She knew now that she couldn’t live without him. She wanted them to work out, more than anything.

“I don’t think I can see you anymore.” Brian stated angrily, crushing Julian with his confession.

“Please, don’t do this. I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. Can we work things out? Please…try again..forgive and forget. I swear, it will never-“

“SHUT UP!” Brian interrupted, “You’re a slut. I cannot trust you. It was probably more than twice. Now get out of my house.”

“It’s mine too.” Julian defended, “I live here…please lets talk about this.”

“GET OUT!” Brian bellowed, “It was my house before yours. I NEVER want to see your STD infested face again, you little whore.”

All of a sudden, Julian reached out, slapping Brian firmly across the face as she continued to cry, standing there in nothing but a bra and panties. A sharp pain stung Brian’s cheek as the imprint of her hand was left. Now, he was really irate, seeing nothing but red as Julian continued to sob. He didn’t care though, she’d crossed the line. He slowly started to walk towards her, backing her against the wall. The cold breeze that filtered the air caused a shiver to crawl up her spine as she saw the look of insaneness in his eyes.

“Don’t you slap me,” Brian warned, “You cheat on me, but can’t take the blows yourself. You’re a slut. Why don’t you go become a damned prostitute, because then you can parade around naked for a new guy every night, and get paid for it.”

“STOP IT!” Julian screamed, covering her ears. Brian grabbed her arms, tearing them away from her head as he shook her, “Stop…please st-t-top! I’m sorry.”

“That’s not enough. I LOVED you more than life itself, and this is how you pay me back? Bringing a random guy in to MY house? I hate you. I HATE YOU!.”

Julian was shaking in fear now, choking on her sobs. Doing the only thing she could think of, she lifted her knee up, brining it in to direct, rough contact with Brian’s genital area to get him to let her go. He tensed, his grip tightening on her as, with one hard shove, he pushed her. Brian heard her screams and then a thud as she fell through the screen of the open window and landed hard on the ground, but he was already turned around, storming out of the room in hurt anger. He didn’t care, and as for what happened next, he wouldn’t care either. He refused to be held accountable for it. To Brian, none of this was his fault. Julian had brought it all upon herself.

Chapter Twelve

Nick, Kevin, Howie and AJ all stared blankly off in to the distance, feeling numb, hurt and most of all, confused. It had been one full week since Brian had been found guilty. Even though they’d seen it coming, it didn’t change the fact that when the Judge had spoken the words, each of them had felt shock. They’d even felt a tinge of remorse when their friend’s head had dropped to hide his tears as two officers drug him away to be put back in to his prison cell one final, permanent time. Life as they knew it would never be the same again.

“I still can’t believe he actually did it,” Howie stated, looking up to the sky, squinting as the bright, hot sun poured down upon him, “I mean, I doubted and suspected him from early on, but was praying so hard that by some miracle, I was wrong.”

“I know,” Kevin replied simply, “So was I. We all were.”

It was safe to say that nothing was as it seemed anymore. Brian had been the one person in the world they’d have never thought possible of committing such a heinous crime. Ever since the conviction, the relationship between the Boys had been different, strained. They all silently hoped that the feeling would pass and they could get back to normal in time. Nobody knew what to expect though at this point.

“I’m not fully convinced that it was his fault completely,” Kevin said out of nowhere, and when his friends looked at him expectantly, he continued on, “I’m ruling it as he’s insane.”

“Well, clearly-“ AJ started, but he was cut off.

“No, hear me out” Kevin held his hand up to stop anybody else from speaking, “Like, bipolar, or schizophrenic- some sort of chemical imbalance in his brain that caused him to act so irrationally and out of character all of a sudden.”

“I believe you’re thinking irrationally now.” AJ pointed out, trying to keep his tone light.

“I’ll agree.” Howie stated with sympathy as Kevin’s face fell, the last bit of hope he’d been clinging to that his cousin was innocent leaving him, “I’m sorry.”

Kevin shrugged, not trusting his voice to speak. He wondered if the pain and disappointment that he was feeling would ever go away or always be this intense. He felt so bad for Julian’s parents, wondering if now that everything was out in the open, said and done, things were easer or harder on them. He couldn’t even begin to imagine. What was it like to lose a child to something so violent. Something that could have, and should have been prevented? Kevin was humiliated to have anything to do with the killer. He was embarrassed that they were related by blood.

“I just wonder what provoked him.” Kevin finally asked, more rhetorically than anything else.

“Well, he said that she’d been cheating on him.” Nick pointed out.

“But most people just do some screaming, break up…” Kevin sighed, “Not murder the person.”

“That’s true…” Nick bit his bottom lip as he looked down. His once very best friend was a convicted murderer. How many times had he done something that angered Brian? How close had the man been to killing him?

Another long period of silence passed. As much as they all kept saying that they didn’t want to talk about it, the situation always managed to sneak its way into conversation. It was as if they couldn’t help but talk about it, like they all had so much on their minds about the situation that they needed to get off of their chests. It was as if talking about it helped make them feed better in some weird sense.

In the one week, nobody had gone to visit their friend in prison. They wondered how Brian was, if he was making friends with fellow criminals, if he was lonely, scared. If he regretted what he did. All of these questions were running through each of their heads, however their curiosity wasn’t strong enough to ever make them want to go and find out. It was just shrugged off as insignificant and unworthy of thinking of.

It would be a lie to say that nobody missed Brian, because each and every one of them did. It was weird not having him there with them. For thirteen years, it had been the five of them, and besides some rough times throughout, they’d been close and almost inseparable. It was safe to say that this would definitely take some time getting used to. None of the men were good with drastic change that was unexpected and in a bad way, yet.

“So, um, are we like….ever going to visit him?” Nick asked aloud what everybody had been thinking.

Nobody spoke at first, just sitting thoughtfully, thinking. The situation was delicate, and as much as they may want to, there had to be more consideration put in to than just saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ right away.

“I don’t know,” Kevin finally spoke, “He is my cousin, but at the same time…” he ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head sadly, “I don’t know…” his voice trailed off, that being the best answer he could muster at the moment.

“I think visiting him would kind of say that we agree with what he did,” AJ pointed out, ‘That we’re okay with it and support him. There is nothing to support about murder.”

“True…” Nick shrugged, “Maybe in time, we’ll feel different.”

Those were the last words said as Kevin stood, walking away with slumped shoulders. Howie followed, then Nick, then AJ slowly behind the rest. Stopping for a second, AJ watched his friends go as he breathed out a huge sigh of relief before smiling sadistically, his eyes shining. Brian had been charged for murder, but there was more to it than what his friends knew. Much more, and he knew the whole story…

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Flashback
March 25th, 2006

AJ heard screaming as he parked his car alongside the street just outside of Brian’s house. Everytime the woman’s voice would sound, apologizing, crying out how sorry she was, Brian would verbally abuse her in some way. He winced, wondering if he should interrupt or come back a little later. Instinct told him to come back, however he was there for a specific reason, and to him, it couldn’t wait any longer. By the screaming though, AJ sensed that Brian already knew, and the secret was out in the open.

Just as he was about to knock on the door, a shrill female cry filled the night air, followed by her body falling through the second story window of her and Brian’s room. AJ’s eyes widened as she hit the ground, his own body frozen in shock. At first, he didn’t know what to do. When he heard her let out a soft whimper though, he looked up to the room before advancing cautiously towards her. He knelt down, seeing that she was still conscious, but barely, and severely injured. She turned her head the slightest bit, looking up at him through foggy eyes.

‘A…AJ” she weakly sniffed, “He…help me.”

AJ smirked as he waited only a second. It was only that long before Julian’s eyes rolled in to the back of her head.

“Such a shame,” AJ muttered, reaching to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear to reveal her face, “If only you hadn’t been such a damned tease, then none of this would have happened. Now what are we going to do with you?”

He sighed, feeling a little sad, but he was also hurt, feeling it necessary to take revenge on the woman who’d caused his heart so much pain, and for his so called best friend yet.

Scooping her limp body up in to his arms, AJ looked around to ensure nobody was watching before carrying her off to his car. This was turning out to be more perfect than he’d ever dreamed of, plans entering his head that would be an even sweeter payback. Something that would ruin the lives of both Julian and Brian for deceiving him, for stabbing him in the back. Upon reaching his car, AJ tossed Julian in to the back seat carelessly as if she were a rag doll, her head hitting the other side of the car with a thud, slamming the door shut. It was then that he got in to the drivers seat and sped off down the street, looking in his rear view mirror every few seconds to make sure she was still in an unconscious state.

‘Dear, sweet Julian. You should have never gone and fucked around on me. I loved you. We could have had the perfect life together.” AJ clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in distaste, shaking his head, “Now look at what’s going to happen to you, and you brought it all on yourself.”

AJ wondered where things had gone wrong between him and Julian, for they too had dated once, before Brian had come in to the picture. He’d thought that everything was fine between them, but then one day, Julian had told him that she felt it would be best if they saw other people. Imagine his surprise when Brian had brought his new girlfriend to meet the gang for the first time, that it had been his ex. And he couldn’t say a thing about it either.

“She’s quite the steal.” AJ recalled saying as he just looked at her, and only she had known what he was talking about.

He’d eyed her, his gaze following her for the entire night in amusement, and he could see her in her eyes that she was pleading with him not to say anything. And he hadn’t. What killed AJ the most though, was the fact that they had agreed to keep their relationship secret, therefore, his friends had never met her until Brian had introduced her. They didn’t know that his ex was Brian’s current love interest. But then for Brian and Julian to turn around and make everything public and open? AJ wondered how their friends would react if they knew everything…

And now, because of how they had hurt him so, he had to get them back. He had to get both of them back to prove that nobody messed with AJ McLean. True, Brian had no idea about any of the past, unless he’d found his boxers, which was AJ’s guess of what had caused the fight to begin with. He smiled, his eyes glowing with evil, for he’d left them in the bedroom on purpose when Julian had called him out to talk, and much more had happened during their three days off during the tour. He’d wanted Brian to find out that Julian was messing around on him, and what was more perfect than leaving behind a little gift? True, he had no idea whom they belonged to, but the fact that the boxers were there was enough.

Julian though…she should have known better. Did she not know that you never ever date an exes best friend? But because of her mistake, Brian had to pay too, even though he was in all reality, innocent and naïve. He was just dating the wrong person at the wrong time, getting in the way of something that should have been.

As he drove along for what seemed to be hours, AJ finally stopped at a bridge overlooking the Kentucky River. It was just past two in the morning. AJ got out of the car, waiting for another to pass before looking around, pretending to stretch. When he was confident that there were no other cars in sight, he opened the back door, dragging Julian out. Her eyes were beginning to open slightly to just slits, watching him in confusion as he picked her up. Still weak from the fall out of the window, she could hardly move, small moans escaping her mouth from the agony she was feeling.

“Don’t worry, Julian,” AJ whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead as he walked over to the edge of the bridge, “In a few minutes, you wont feel anything.”

He sat her on the guardrail, and she looked down lazily when he forced her head to turn. Realizing what was about to happen, Julian tried to cry out, but her screams were muffled when AJ placed his hand firmly over her mouth. Tears starting to stream down her cheeks as she realized what was about to happen to her.

“Goodbye, Julian. May you rest in peace.” AJ seethed softly in to her ear, his voice chilling enough to send shivers up her spine.

And with those last words said, AJ pushed her over the rail, her body falling over fifty feet in to the icy cold waters. He turned around without looking back, knowing that the girl had no chance of surviving, getting back in to his car and driving away from the scene without the least bit of remorse. One was down, now he had one more to go. Now, he had to frame Brian to make it look like he killed Julian. After she was missing for a few weeks, her parents were sure to press charges, and after a few months, he would pay somebody to say that they saw Brian dumping the body in to the river. Then everything else would take care of itself. All he had to do was be patient. In just a little bit of time, all would be right in the world again. Both were going to get what was coming to them, and he would get away with it all. AJ smiled satanically as he continued to drive in to the night. This was his revenge, and he would play it all off and let Brian take the fall, letting him rot in prison. One woman dead, one man’s life ruined. AJ had gotten his justice, and nobody but him would ever know the truth, and nobody ever would. He would take it to his grave.