Terrified. It was the only word to describe the tension that laced her best friend's voice during the usual phone call that occured every Friday evening. Of course, this conversation had been anything but ordinary. To think that Stacia's home had been ransacked. Personal items stolen. Not items that a typical burgler would take. But intimate items, such as her favorite clothing and photographs. Even now, chills ran through her body as she searched the Malibu mansion for any signs of her long-term boyfriend. He had ventured to the recording studio with his band-mates early that morning to produce their upcoming album, but promised he would return soon. They would be going out to dinner per usual. But now she had important news to share.

"Holly? You home?"

"Alex? Oh thank God," Holly breathed, turning around to see him come up from the basement where he kept his personal recording studio. She dropped her purse onto the plush carpet and rushed over to him. "Something just... Staci... it was horrible!"

"What happened, Baby? Is she okay? What's wrong?" Embracing his lover of three years, AJ McLean stumbled slightly at the force in which her body propelled into him. He could feel the tremble of her body and attempted to soothe her as best he could. She had done the same for him during his darkest days.

"Some bastard broke into her house! I told her she shouldn't live in the center of Philadelphia. All those perverts and freaks lurking in those dark places. She's damn lucky she wasn't home when he decided to--"

"Is she okay?" AJ repeated softly, wanting to know just the immediate details first. Since he started dating Holly, AJ had grown quite attached to her best friend, who phoned frequently and tried to visit every summer. She was a beautiful creature with a loveable personality. If she was hurt, he was certain that some of his band-mates would insist on flying to Philadelphia. Immediately.

"She's okay. He was gone by the time she got home. He... he stole pictures, intimate clothing... God, he even stole her favorite perfume! I have never heard her that scared before. Never," Holly buried her face into the crook of his neck. The warm scent of cologne slightly eased her nerves. "I wish she lived here in Malibu. At least it would be safer!"

"Just be thankful that she didn't get hurt," AJ commented softly, gently rubbing her back in a smooth circular motion. He was relieved that Stacia hadn't been hurt, because Brian would have never forgiven him if he had been the bearer of bad news. "You know Staci better than any of us, Baby. She wouldn't move to Malibu even if she found a man hiding in her bed with her panties tied around his head--"

"That's not funny, Alex."

"I'm sorry..."

"I hate being so far away from her when something like this happens," Holly sniffled softly as she stayed in her boyfriend's embrace. She just wanted to protect the younger woman, and it was impossible when she was thousands of miles away. "She lives in such a shitty part of town! With her salary and job experience, she could move out here and get a better job--"

"She's an Adrenaline Junkie who craves the chaos of an Emergency Room," AJ reminded her while carefully guiding her toward the kitchen. Their passel of dogs barked noisily from the glass doors leading to their backyard, but he went to work making a strong pot of coffee.

"Which is why I'm having her apply to all the Emergency Rooms out here when she visits," Holly answered with a steely determination, her cold steel blue eyes shimmering with pained tears. "She was so frightened... She's taking a few weeks off work to get away. She wants to come visit. Can she stay, Alex? Please?"

"Baby, you don't even have to ask. Our home is her home; you know that," AJ chided softly, kissing her cheek as she sat down at the island while he scooped a few spoonfuls of her favorite coffee into the machine. He hated seeing two of the three most important women in his life be so upset.

"I told her to start looking for a flight immediately. She had a police escort back to her apartment so she could get what little of her things that weren't destroyed," Holly explained softly, fiddling with the hem of her denim skirt. She could still hear the tremor of nervousness creep through Stacia's voice, though she had tried to laugh at the insanity of it all. "Honestly... What kind of man would do such a thing?"

"I don't know. I wish I had an answer," AJ sighed heavily, pulling out their designated cups as the coffee began to brew. "Unfortunately, there are just some sick people out there who do horrible things."

"But why Staci? She couldn't hurt a fly!"

"Has she had any type of relationship lately? Maybe someone who had started to creep her out and she ended it?"

"Stace hasn't dated anyone since Brian and Leighanne's wedding..."

"No one at all?" AJ questioned as he poured the strong liquid into the cups and added the proper amount of sugar for Holly, which meant about half of the container. Though, he wasn't surprised to hear that Stacia hadn't been dating since the wedding. There was something between Stacia and Brian that everyone could see - except for Brian.

"She said she had to establish her career before she could even think about getting involved with anyone. Then there was the excuse that no man was interested. And, as pretty as she is, I can't imagine a single man not being interested in her..."

"Or a married man for that matter."

"I still can't believe he didn't realize what was going on between them before getting married to... Leighanne," Holly took the cup from AJ's hand and slowly sipped the hot coffee, feeling her nerves calm down significantly.

"I don't know how many times the guys and I sat down with him," AJ answered honestly, seating himself across from Holly. Taking her free hand, his thumb gently caressed her fingers. "Hell, Kev told him he was making the biggest mistake of his life before walking down the alter."

"He's just so blind... and I'm scared he's not going to see the truth until it's too late," Holly shook her head, sighing. "And with Baylee... I see Leighanne interact with him -- well, lack thereof, I should say, and it's like she doesn't even care. Bri has to do everything."

"Unless Staci's visiting."

"Oh, that kid loves her to death," Holly actually laughed softly, thinking back on previous times Stacia came to California for vacation and spent a lot of it with Baylee.

"I'm convinced that boy would have been smuggled onto the airplane if Brian hadn't noticed how much heavier her duffle bag had gotten between our house and the airport," AJ mused, relieved to see the beautiful smile grace his love's face.

"It was a pretty good try. I still remember the look on his face when he unzipped the bag," Holly shook her head, still chuckling as she sipped her coffee. "Maybe her visit here will cause him to realize he needs her."

"Sweetheart, he's still married to Leighanne, no matter how shitty the marriage is..." AJ trailed carefully, noticing Holly's shoulders round with disappointment. "Baby, c'mon, just because Brian can't marry her doesn't mean we can't get her to stay in Malibu. Give her a call back and have her charge a flight to my credit card. The earliest possible. No matter what the cost, okay?"

"Really?"

"Of course. I want her here just as fast as you do--"

"You just like the fact that she walks around in her underwear--"

"What man wouldn't?!" AJ teased, leaning over to plant a quick kiss to Holly's brow. "But I still love you endlessly, Baby."

"Yeah, you better," Holly narrowed her blue-gray eyes for a moment before standing up, stretching her lithe body as she grabbed the kitchen phone. She dialed Stacia's number from memory.

"Tell her that between me, D, Bri, and Nick, she's got four part-time body guards. Fuck, with Kev deciding to step out of the limelight, she's got one full-time body guard too," AJ suggested, grinning sweetly toward his lover when she moved into the living room, leaving him to ponder about the type of man who would harrass such a lovely young woman. And knowing that he would never wish the man to cross his path. If he knew what was good for him.

~*~*~*~*~

Do you have any idea about who might have wanted to do this to you?
No...
Any disgruntled patients from the Emergency Room?
Everyone in the Emergency Room is disgruntled.
Are you in an abusive relationship?
God no.
Have you had any recent affairs?
...Not recent affairs...
Miss Lord, if you can't take this seriously--

Squeezing her dark emerald eyes closed, Stacia Lord willed her memories to dissipate into the darkness settling in the skies. She could still hear the distrusting tone of the police officer's voice as he bombarded her with obscene and offensive questions. As if he blamed her for the distruction of her household. It wasn't as if she had placed her key into the pervert's hand. Scowling at the mere thought, she startled when a rumble shook the airplane. She could only recall the chill of Philadelphia's autumn winds pelting through her thin surgical blue scrubs while a police officer towered over her. The apartment had been under search when he took her aside. So cold and calculating.

"That's why women need to take over and make all the men meter maids," Stacia muttered to herself, rubbing a hand over her weary face as she leaned back into her seat. She felt a knee go into her back from the passenger behind her, but she had other matters to worry about. Or pretend not to worry about.

Her imagination had always been colorful ever since her childhood. She could dream up entire worlds to sneak into when reality turned frightening. But not even her imagination could help her escape the devastation of the past week. Everything she had built for herself had been crushed in a few hours time. First the terrible walk home after a long evening shift at the Emergency Department. Her car hadn't started, so she thought it'd be nothing to simply take the streets. That is till an unknown assailant nabbed her into a cold dark alley. It had been quick. Too quick. She couldn't even fight him off before her clothing had been shredded to tatters and a knife pressed tightly to her throat. She had encountered many rape victims through the Emergency Department, but never expected to become one herself...

She had gone home and scrubbed at her skin until it was beefy red and tender. She threw away the tattered clothes and undergarments. The thought to call the police... it wouldn't have made a difference. It was dark, she couldn't see his face and it was her own foolish thought to walk home alone on the dark Philadelphia streets.

So many times she had urged the battered women sitting upon the overly starched sheets of the hospital gurneries that they must contact the police. Yet she had done the exact opposite, hiding the humiliation deep in the darkest recesses of her heart. She had spoken to her doctor to get a simple check up and STD screening. Thankfully nothing had been detected. Anti-anxiety medication and sleeping medication had been prescribed because of her job. And now her apartment had been torn to pieces. It was no coincedence. She was sure of it. That's why she needed a vacation.

Stacia sighed, grasping her can of Pepsi and taking a long drink.Going to Malibu seemed to be the only choice for getting away from what happened to her. No one would be able to find her there.

She had saved enough money to extend her vacation till she felt safe. Living with Holly and AJ seemed doable, though she worried about over-staying her welcome. If so, she could rent another apartment. She had moved on a daily basis throughout the years, especially during her childhood. Each year she would find herself in a new location. She had learned early to become a chameleon and adapt to her surroundings. Finding Holly in Minnesota had been a miracle. Best friends for life, no matter how much of a distance had passed between them. When she had made her weekly phone call to Holly, she almost didn't mention what had happened to her apartment. However, the older woman had noticed a change in her voice and soon Stacia was giving all the details about the break-in. Within an hour, she was on the next flight to Malibu and away from the terror that had enveloped her.

It was typical of Holly and AJ to come to her rescue. They had done so for the past three years, assuming the role of her parents, and she made sure to tease them incessantly about the transition. To have someone who actually cared for her. Instead of being alone in the middle of a chaotic city. And when the plane landed smoothly on the runway, she knew she would be safe. For a few weeks, anyhow. Within ten minutes, she had her large ADIDAS duffel bag over her shoulder and was walking down the jetway towards the passenger lounge.

Stacia wasn't entirely sure if she would see her friends in the passenger lounge. Not because they refused to pick her up, but because of AJ's celebrity status. Many years as a member of the popular band, Backstreet Boys, had circulated AJ into a state of fan-frenzy whenever he appeared. Women loved him. So, playing with the strap of her duffle bag, she tossed her long ponytail of honey blonde curls over her shoulder and stiffened her posture to peer over the heads of the crowds. What a difference it was to travel from east coast to west coast.

"Stacia!" A voice almost boomed over the noise of other passengers. Stacia jumped, looking around to finally land her eyes on a tall, muscular man with dark chocolate skin and she smiled.

"Marcus!"

"Your plane was actually on time. It's a first," Marcus chuckled, wasting no time in drawing Stacia through the crowds. His beefy arms enveloped her in a hearty hug and she squealed in surprise when she was crushed against his chest. He only laughed harder and slipped the duffle bag from her shoulder. "Where's the rest of your stuff? J and Holly are waiting in the private lounge for you."

"That's all the stuff I have, Marcus..." Stacia trailed uncomfortably, not wanting to admit that the rest of her items had been completely destroyed. Sure, she had insurance, but the memories were lost. "...Did only Alex and Holly come?"

"They thought it would be easier with just the two of them, but the rest of the guys are at their house," Marcus gave a sympathetic smie, rubbing her back. "I heard about what happened to your place. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she promised with a carefree smile. "Hell, I had everything insured, so that just means I raked in a bunch of cash, right?"

"Yeah," Marcus chuckled, tucking her close to his side as they wove their way through the crowds until they finally reached the lounge.

"...Is Brian at the house?" Stacia immediately questioned before allowing him to open the door to the lounge. She wanted to be prepared on the ride home. Even Marcus knew about the relationship that had brewed between the two before Brian had crushed her heart. And, though she had always remained friendly with Brian, she had to force herself initially to forget the pain.

"After having a huge fight with Leigh about it... yeah. He had to bring Bayster, she refused to watch him," Marcus frowned, remembering the look on Brian's face when he came to the house.

"So they didn't miraculously get a divorce?" Stacia sighed.

"You and the rest of the world is wishing that--"

"You'd think I'd get a life and realize that the man isn't interested in me. Even if he did kiss me like the world was ending--"

"Staci-Raci, he is interested in you. Hell, I'm a guy and even I could see that. Brian is just... well..."

"Married."

"Yeah... but--"

"I'd swear the man was a virgin if it wasn't for Baylee," Stacia decided, opening the door to the lounge and watching AJ immediately spring from his seat. He clutched a bouquet of white roses to welcome her home and she couldn't help but smile. She felt so torn inside, even as he wrapped her into a powerfully protective embrace, vowing to kill any bastard that thought he could attempt another stunt like that. And, she couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes.

"It's okay, Staci. You're safe with us," AJ whispered, keeping her close as she trembled softly in his arms.

"I'm sleeping in the middle of you two tonight, okay?" Stacia sniffled, burying her face against his chest.

"We wouldn't have it any other way," AJ smiled sadly, running his fingers through her curls.

"Only for the next two months, Daddy," Stacia promised with a small laugh, pressing a quick kiss of thanks to his lips.

"Yeah, we'll see," AJ chuckled, giving her another quick hug. "It's great to see you, Sweetheart."

"Likewise," Stacia agreed, allowing him to sweep her into another quick squeeze. He had always been affectionate with her. So much so that Stacia loved to tease Holly about stealing him into a secret affair, though it would be impossible to do so. Never the less, she knew not to tease when she saw the worried expression wearing into Holly's beautiful features. And when AJ suggested he and Marcus collect the rest of her things, she cleared her throat uncertainly. "I don't have any more... It was all... Hell, I needed new stuff, right?"

"Oh Staci..." AJ gave an apologetic smile as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"At least I took insurance out on everything--"

"Such a smart girl," AJ cooed affectionately. "That means we get to go shopping, right? You, me, Holly?"

"Sounds like fun. As long as you two promise not to slip one of your credit cards into my hands," Stacia warned.

"Damn... she caught onto our plan, Babe. We'll have to try something else," AJ teased with a smile.

"She's damn lucky that I don't tie her up in our basement and keep her as a permanent pet," Holly sniffled, reaching out to collect her friend into a overwhelmingly powerful hug. She hadn't been able to sleep since the phone call, fearing the worst. She just wanted Stacia close by. Safe.

"A mere pet? But I thought I was a playmate for--"

"Stacia."

"What?"

"Just let me have my moment."

"What moment would that be? The one where you sob uncontrollably? Or crush me to death?"

"How about I do both?"

"Holly, I'm fine--"

"Yeah, since you're here with me! Staci, Philadelphia is dangerous, not to mention your neighborhood--"

"It's close to the Emergency Room---"

"For obvious reasons!"

"Jesus Christ have mercy--"

"Okay! How about we head back to the house? The guys are anxious to see you," AJ interrupted the two women as Marcus picked up the lone duffel bag.

"Sounds great," Stacia agreed, taking AJ's arm when he gestured that they hurry along. Holly looked as if she would chastise her lover for being so pushy, but said nothing while taking his other arm. Marcus made sure to stay in front, guiding them toward the awaiting escalade. It had seemed like centuries since she had seen everyone. One in particular.

"This conversation isn't over, Stacia Grace," Holly warned when AJ helped her inside the vehicle.

"I know. It never is," Stacia sighed, climbing carefully into the vehicle to avoid flaring up the usual pains in her healing body. The attack had been quite rough and bruises remained.

"Holls, give her a break," AJ scorned softly as the van wove through the dark streets. "She's had a rough night."

Holly offered a dark scowl and furiously ran her fingers through her short blonde locks, spiking them. "If she would have moved to Malibu years ago, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"I already know it's all my fault, Holly," Stacia groaned, pressing her forehead to the cool window and squeezing her eyes shut. She could feel the rush of another migraine accompanying the familiar panic. She needed her medication.

"She's not saying it's your fault--"

"Alex--"

"Look, we've all had a long night, but this is Staci-Raci's vacation. How about we enjoy her company instead of arguing?" Marcus spoke up, rather softly for being the large man he is.

The three fell into an awkward silence while Marcus continued to drive. Stacia wasn't sure what to say really. It seemed as the months spread apart that she was growing farther apart from her loved ones. She just wasn't the same anymore. Especially now. Yet, she forced civility while pulling away from the window. "How is everyone?"

"They're good. Kev is busy playing Daddy to Mason, but he's still around a lot of the time. Nick is... well... Nick... Howie just got engaged. Brian's..."

"Miserable," Holly added.

"Baylee didn't manage to overcome his terrible two's?" Stacia teased with a small smile, recalling several horrifying phone calls with a panicked Brian describing some catastrophe of an event that had injured his son.

"Oh, Bayler's been as good as gold lately. It's Leighanne who's been giving him Hell--"

"Holly..."

"It's true!"

"It's really not our business--"

"When he comes over three times a week with the kid because she kicked him out, I think it is our business!"

"She didn't kick him out--"

"Oh yeah, he had to leave to escape the shit she was throwing at him and smashing into the walls--"

"...Why are they fighting so much?" Stacia interupted carefully, arching her light honey brows with question. "I thought they were madly in love?"

"That's what Brian made himself think. Leighanne is just a witch and she's showing her true colors."

"Yeah..." Stacia trailed vaguely, looking to the scenery once more. She had never been one to criticize Brian's marriage, even if she had been in love with him. Once. Or at least, she fooled herself to believe that she had only loved him once. A long, long time ago before her heart had been crushed. When she had the youthful indescretion of youth and suggested that she and him elope.

AJ saw the look on Stacia's face and he sighed, glancing at his girlfriend with a weary look.

"What'd I do?"

"You mentioned Brian, Sweetheart," AJ groaned against the side of her head before pressing a quick kiss.

"But I thought--"

"She loves him."

"And she's going to be seeing a lot more of him. She'll have to get used to it."

"Yeah, but maybe you need to take a little bit more of a tactful approach."

"Are you saying I'm blunt?"

"As my mother's ass."

"You can be so gross--"

"I love you too, Babe."

"We're here," Marcus announced as Holly rolled her eyes and AJ gave her another kiss.

"Thank God," Stacia breathed with relief, not even bothering to wait for the car to lurch to a stop. Instead, she jumped out carelessly and marched for the front door, wondering if this would truly be a relaxing vacation.

Stacia hadn't bothered to wait for AJ or Holly to climb from the car as she entered their large home, just wanting to escape the conversation. Whenever Brian was mentioned, she found the familiar pain in her heart returning. A pain she had done her best to tuck away with years of regret. Even the mere mention of them together had always stirred the familar passion of wanting, but then she remembered the beast that had dashed her hopes. And a clear reminder of their parting came hurdling at her legs before she managed to clear the foyer. Falling backward in shock, the pains of her healing body flared, but the familiar giggle caused her to coo. Immediately, she wrapped her arms about the pint-sized ball of energy. "Bayster!"

"Staci! Missed you!" Baylee cried out with joy. His bright blue eyes glittered with excitement beneath his mop of unruly platinum curls. He hugged her tightly, slobbering a kiss on her cheek.

"I've missed you too, Sweet-Pea," Stacia promised, returning the wet kisses with loud sloppy noises that caused the boy to squeal louder. It was all she could do to hold him still to continue her playful attacks, but he managed to squirm away. Leaning back, she cupped his face in her hands and placed another sweet kiss to his forehead. He seemed to be growing like a weed and looking more like his father every day. Even his impish smile was characteristic of Brian's goofiness. "God, you're so big! Four years old!"

"Uh-huh! I start kindergarten next year!"

"KINDERGARTEN? No way!"

"Uh-huh! Daddy says you learn a lot!"

"Your Daddy would know, huh?" Stacia guessed, watching him nod furiously with agreement. Bringing him into her arms once more, she squeezed him in a loving hug. "You'll have so much fun, I promise. But for now you and me are going to have to play together while everyone else is working, okay?"

"Really? All day long?!" Baylee's beautiful blue eyes grew wide and Stacia laughed.

"You got it. All day long!"

"Just you and me?" Baylee reiterated, looking quite skeptical of such a wonderful plan.

"Just you and me," Stacia promised with a quick nod. "We'll put on our bikinis and lay out by the pool all day. I've got to work on my tan--"

"Damn, I'll quit work and buy myself a bikini if I can join," Nick interupted, hearing Baylee's joyous squeals from the living room. Coming to investigate, an easy grin slid onto his face while he helped Stacia up. "It's great to see you again. I'm tired of being the only single in this Hell-Hole."

"You and me will just have to go on a few dates then," Stacia suggested with a impish grin, pressing a kiss to Nick's cheek.

"Name the nights and where you want to go," Nick promised as he gave her a hug, making sure Baylee didn't get squished.

"Well--"

"I get to come on the dates too!" Baylee insisted with a scowl, wrapping his arms securely around Stacia's neck to keep from getting lost in the shuffle. "Tell'em Daddy!"

"We'll see, Buddy. Staci just got here, let her take a couple days to adjust," Brian spoke up, appearing in the foyer.

"So Nicky can take her out all by himself?" Baylee questioned with a firm pout, seeming to clamp his hands tighter about her neck, refusing to part even as others began to file into the foyer.

"I didn't say that, either. But Staci and Nicky are old enough to--"

"Don't our names sound great together, Stace?" Nick cooed against the side of her face, wrapping his arms about her waist and swaying against her.

"The same old Nick," Stacia laughed, wrapping a free arm about his neck to move with him.

"Yeah, the troublemaker," Howie commented as he came into view. "And where is my loving, missy?"

"I love his persistance," Stacia explained, shifting Baylee to her hip so she could greet Howie. Just the same, she was brought into another warm hug, kissing her cheeks with welcome. "Congratulations on the engagement."

"Thanks. She's away on business for a couple of days, but I'd like you to meet her when she gets back."

"I can't wait."

"Now you can't forget about me."

"You're as tall as Marcus with furry eyebrows. How can I?" Stacia teased, watching Kevin scowl as he approached her.

"Just for that I'm not going to let you babysit Mason--"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be dumping the diapered butt into my arms when Kristin suggests a romantic night away," Stacia teased, squealing when Kevin raised her up into his arms for a crushing hug. She kissed his cheeks affectionately in apologies for the quips, but it was her nature. He had always treated her like the little sister he never had. So, she returned the favor.

"Dumping my son's diapered butt into your arms? I am offended--"

"Dirty diapered butt?"

"Staci--"

"I missed you?"

"Stacia--"

"I missed you a lot?" Stacia murmured with a pout.

"Oh, that damn pout gets me everytime," Kevin groaned with a roll of his eyes.

"I know!"

"You little--"

"As touching as this camaraderie is, maybe we should go into the living room?" AJ suggested, standing near the doorway with Holly.

"The last time I was here, I distinctly remember how absolutely fantastic Alex's big fluffy couches are, so I'm going to have to agree," Stacia decided while stifling a small yawn, feeling what seemed like a significant aging on her body since the attack. Releasing Kevin from the hug, she knew it was best to move to the living room because it also meant that she wouldn't have to address Brian individually. Instead, Baylee tackled her legs once more in hopes to be carried and she obliged, following the others toward the living room.

"Does anyone want something to drink?" Holly stood by the kitchen, prepared to bring out a variety of beverages. "Staci, do you want a Pepsi?"

"Yeah, thanks," Stacia confirmed, slipping out of her scuffed and faded Converse sneakers while continued to balance Baylee on her hip. All of their friends then made their requests and AJ begrudingly followed her to help when Holly glared. It seemed as if she had never left since the last time she visited, her bare feet sinking into the thickness of the carpet before she climbed onto the couch and tucked her legs beneath her. Cradling Baylee close, she tucked her face to his forehead and inhaled his sweet scent. "You're such a good boy."

"T'anks," Baylee smiled, wrapping little arms around her and squeezing as hard as he could. Stacia let out her breath with a whoosh, as if he had squeezed it all out of her.

"Oof! You're getting too strong for me, Bayster!"

"Well, I got to protect you," Baylee giggled, pulling one arm from around her neck to muffle a large yawn into his palm.

"Thank God for that," Stacia agreed, leaning back to tug at the blanket draped over the couch. Pulling it over her body, she helped Baylee snuggle against her chest, noticing how bleary his gorgeous crystal blue eyes seemed. "You waited up all night for me, Sweetheart. But you're tired."

"Am not--"

"Just cuddle with me, please?"

"You'll hold me all night?"

"If your Daddy doesn't mind," Stacia kept her eyes on Baylee as he turned towards his father.

"Daddy, can we stay?"

"I..." Brian was caught unawares when Baylee projected the question in his direction. Instead, he had been so engrossed in watching Stacia. She had yet to say hello to him, merely direct conversation through his son, but he longed for her to speak to him directly. It had been too long...

"Looks like someone's sleeping on the couch tonight," Kevin chuckled with appreciation, offering thanks to Holly when she and AJ returned with the variety of drinks. "You can't possibly resist Baylee and Staci combined."

"Them two together... always cause trouble, because they're oh-so-innocent," Holly smiled, glacing towards her best friend and nephew. She loved watching the child and woman interact.

"Yeah, real innocent," AJ snorted when Stacia smiled innocently. "She's just invited Bay to spend the night. Next thing you know, we're going to have all these strange men jumping into her bed--"

"Hey! I'm first on that list," Nick grunted.

"Ew, spare me the details," Holly wrinkled her nose as she and AJ sat down once everyone had their beverage.

"She's just jealous," Stacia teased, causing Nick to beam with delight.

"I don't think so. I have all the man I can get right here," she wrapped her arms around AJ.

"Exactly the point, she can't get anymore men, so she has to be satisfied with the one she's got," Nick muttered beneath his breath before taking a long swallow of soda.

AJ immediately glared while pulling Holly close within his embrace. "Hey, I'll kick your ass out--"

"Daddy, can we please stay?" Baylee interjected once more, hating how the conversation had been swept away without an answer.

"I... yeah, Buddy. We can stay." Brian easily caved in. Not only for his son, but so he could try and get things fixed with Stacia. He had missed her so much.

"Great! I can sleep between you an' Staci--"

"I thought we were going to camp out here on the couch, Baylee. We could even get some blankets and make it into a tent," Stacia gently interrupted, giving Baylee her special pout that always made him giggle.

"You don't want'a sleep with Daddy?" Baylee questioned with great incredulity. His large crystal eyes widened in shock and most of the men immediately choked on their sodas.

"Baylee Thomas Wylee, you are going to get me in so much trouble," Stacia groaned, wrapping him up in the blanket and pressing her hand to his lips. He grinned behind her hand and blew a wet raspberry, but cuddled up to her just the same.

"He takes after his father," Holly clicked her tongue in amusement, smiling softly.

"When did you ever get your Staci-Gracie into trouble, Cuz?" Kevin inquired with a small smile, referring to the nickname that Stacia had detested furiously, but still blushed at when Brian used it.

"Hmm?" Brian snapped out of his thoughts, gazing at Kevin in question.

"When did you ever get Staci-Gracie into trouble?"

"I..." Brian fumbled to acclimate himself to the situation, unfortunately only able to sputter out a few syllables before everyone broke into laughter.
"He's such the talker, I swear," AJ chuckled.

"Can't get him to shut up," Howie added.

"About Staci anyway," Holly breathed.

"...About me?" Stacia questioned in surprise, glancing up from Baylee's slumbering form.

"He always talks about you--"

"Holly, stop--" Brian felt the color drain from his face and a dark redness brighten his cheeks. Stacia didn't need to hear about him.

"Obsessive about you, honestly," Kevin ventured to add.

"Who would have known..." Stacia trailed with a light shrug of her shoulders.

Brian narrowed his gorgeous cerulean eyes toward Stacia with suspicion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I never thought I'd be a topic of conversation in your life, Brian," Stacia answered, forcing herself to take a long swallow of the cold soda to preoccupy herself.

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

"Apparenlty I do--"

"Let's not start this love-fest tonight, guys," AJ interupted gently, noticing the inevitable hurt of the past haunting Stacia's emerald eyes. "It's late."

"Yeah, really late," Stacia compromised, biting down hard on her bottom lip. "It was really sweet of you guys to wait around for me."

"We'll come back tomorrow and catch up," Kevin stood and carefully stretched his weary body. He was still getting used to waking up with an infant almost every night. "I'll bring Mason so you can meet him."

"I can't wait," Stacia promised with a small smile when Kevin leaned over her to wrap his arms about her. Baylee was still cuddled against her, sound asleep, but it didn't bother Kevin. "I bet he's as adorable as you."

"Kris would say otherwise," he chuckled, kissing her cheek as he stood. "Get some rest, okay?"

"I'll try," Stacia answered, allowing the rest of the men to filter through to give their goodbyes as well. It looked as if each of them wanted to inquire about the disaster in Philadelphia, but Holly was quick to usher them to the door. She silently thanked her best friend for the freedom from reliving the horror at that moment, because her dreams kept the memories fresh anyways.

~*~*~*~*~*~

When Howie, Nick, and Kevin had excused themselves for the night, Stacia had every intention of slipping upstairs to avoid further conversation. But the longing in Holly's eyes when she tried to excuse herself had halted her. So, allowing Baylee to snooze upon her chest, she forced herself into a causal social with Brian, Holly, and AJ. She kept her gaze from Brian, however, unable to lessen the pain that attacked her heart whenever they caught each other's gaze. He seemed to watch her so intently now. She felt as if she might suffocate, so she slipped from beneath Baylee's weight and excused herself to the kitchen.

Now, leaning over the sink, she splashed cold water onto her face in hopes to refresh herself. Brian's presence had seemed to make the world fold in on her. He looked at her as if he knew the dirty secret, causing her heart to flutter wildly with panic. Her throat tightened and she began to tremble. Cold sweat dripped down her neck and she knew she had to escape. Only medication could curb her anxiety and stress since the attack in the alley. Even now, the water on her face did nothing to soothe her while she blindly reached out for her purse to locate the bottles of prescription pills.

Hearing the rattle within a plastic bottle alerted her that she had found the medication. She opened up both bottles and poured the right dosage into the palm of her hand. Popping them into her mouth, she grasped a can of Pepsi and chugged half of the sugary subtance. The fizz tickled her throat and she closed her eyes tightly; almost willing the pills to work faster.

It was wishful thinking on her part however, because the terror that haunted her daily remained. Even if the medication worked in an hour, she would remain up for several more hours because she feared her dreams. They had become so real that she could actually feel the warmth of the man's foul breath on her neck when she tore away from the haze of the nightmare. Groaning at the thought, she slumped back against the sink and tossed the bottles toward the small purse.

Unfortunately, the bottles bounced against the unzipped lips of the purse and clattered to the floor. "Damnit--"

"You alright?" Brian's voice broke into her thoughts as he came into the kitchen. His excuse was to get another soda, but he had actually wanted a moment to speak with Stacia alone.

"I'm fine," Stacia retorted in surprise, yanking the nearby towel from the counter to press against her damp face. She hadn't expected anyone to come after her, especially him. Her heart dropped at the mere sound of concern in his voice. How she had longed to hear from him again. Yet, now...

"Seems like it," Brian murmured, ducking down to pluck the two bottles off the floor. Turning them carefully, he read the prescription names. "Ativan? Ambien? ...What are these for?"

"They're my prescriptions," Stacia answered off-handedly, reaching out blindly in hopes that he would give her the bottles.

"Since when have you had prescriptions?" Brian frowned, glancing at the names again. "Staci, what are these for?"

"Working in the center city of Philly is really stressful, so at my last doctor's appointment, he suggested that I start taking them," Stacia murmured, avoiding any attempt at telling him what each drug was for. He would never understand that Ativan was to curb the horrible boughts of panic attacks that occured randomly throughout the day. Nor that Ambien was used to help her sleep, because she couldn't otherwise, terrified of the nightmares. And, if he had looked in her bag, he would have noticed an anti-depressant, Prozac, hiding in the bottom as well.

"Do all nurses take these kind of medications?" Brian raised an eyebrow. Something didn't feel right, even if he hadn't seen her in months.

"If it helps me, what does it matter?"

"Because they look like they're pretty serious--" Brian grunted in surprise when he rolled the bottles in his hands to read the warning labels. They were potent medications. Potentially deadly if not used properly.

"I'm not taking them illegaly. They were prescribed."

"For stress?"

"If it prevents me from going crazy," Stacia mumbled, reaching out for them. "Please give them back."

"Why would you go crazy?" Brian asked with obvious worry, reluctanly relinquishing the bottles.

"My life hasn't exactly been a bed of roses these past months, Brian," Stacia muttered with disgust, shoving the bottles deep into the purse that she truly hated carrying. But, for now, it blocked the medications from Brian's nosing.

"Staci--"

"Look, I'm really tired and I want to get some sleep. Is Bay going to sleep with you or with me?"

"He would have a complete cow if he woke up next to me tomorrow morning--"

"Then it's okay if I take him up to my guest room?"

"Yeah... it's not a problem."

"Okay. Goodnight," Stacia turned and almost ran back to the living room to collect Baylee for the night.

"Jet-lag hitting hard?" AJ guessed, noticing Brian lingering in the threshold of the living room and watching Stacia carefully. The concern darkening his features was unmistakable, but Stacia looked to be ignoring any sign of his presence. Instead, she held Baylee carefully in her arms and leaned down to kiss both him and Holly.

"I'll see you guys next week when I'm concious again, okay?" Stacia suggested with a forced note of teasing to her voice.

"Goodnight, Sweetie," Holly gave what she hoped was an encouraging smile as she watched the younger woman rush up to her 'room' and close the door.

"Were you breathing anthrax in her face or what, B?" AJ asked, glancing toward Brian when the silence had evaded him for too long. He had never seen Stacia so jittery before, much less anxious to avoid them. Usually she would cuddle up with them in bed the first night she arrived, talking till morning.

"I was just asking about her medications--"

"What medications?" Holly asked in surprise.

"You didn't know she was on medication?"

"She didn't mention it..."

"She was taking them in the kitchen. Ativan and Ambien. She said it was from all the stress at work."

"She didn't even say work was all that horrible lately..." Holly trailed with a sharp frown, crawling away from AJ's embrace to locate one of the nursing books she kept in the living room for Stacia. It seemed as if the woman always had her nose in some book dedicated to the science of nursing, so Holly kept a well stocked library. "She just tells me about all the nuts she's been taking care of lately..."

"She got pretty defensive when I asked--"

"No, it was because you were talking to her," Holly interrupted, thumbing through the pages.

Flabbergasted at the curt tone cutting into Holly's words, Brian slumped into the nearby couch and rubbed his tired face. "What the Hell did I do?"

"Do you want the truth?" Holly gazed up from the book for a moment. "I mean, the honest to God truth?"

"Of course I do--"

"Holly, maybe now isn't the right time to talk about this," AJ replied, worried about Brian's reaction. His girlfriend wasn't always tactful.

"He wants to know and he should--"

"It's been a stressful week, Holls, especially with what happened to Stace--"

"He still needs to know, Alex!"

"Will you please not talk about me like I'm not here?" Brian frowned.

"I'm sorry, B," AJ quickly apologized, reaching for the thick textbook before it could be used as a weapon. "But Holls has been so upset since Staci called and--"

"I'm fine," Holly insisted with an aggravated sigh. "She's here in Malibu, that's what matters to me--"

"It matters to me too," Brian confirmed.

"Stacia wouldn't think you mean that."

"Why?"

"Holly, I'm asking you to wait for another day before getting into this conversation," AJ pleaded once more, unsure if Brian could really handle the emotional blow. The man was too naive sometimes. Too wholesome and pure.

"It'll just be delaying the inevitable. And you know damn well that if I try talking to him about this tomorrow, you'll tell me to wait another day and then another day and another day--"

"Would you two please stop bickering and just tell me what the Hell I did to make her hate me so much since the last time we were together?" Brian growled with impatience, throwing a fist against the coffee table for emphasis. He was tired of the games, especially when it concerned Stacia. It seemed as if his entire relationship with her had been doomed from the beginning. No friendship able to be salvaged, though he had always secretly longed for more.

"For God sakes, she doesn't fucking hate you," Holly turned to the older man with a smoldering glare. "You want to know what changed between the two of you?"

"Yes--"

"You broke her heart and married Leighanne."

"That was over seven years ago!"

"A broken heart never heals, Brian!"

"But we've been together plenty of times since that happened and she's always been so sweet--"

"Last time was different, B," AJ interupted softly, hating that he was even part of the discussion. Grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes, he grunted and shifted uncomfortably. "We went out to celebrate her last night hear and you got wasted. I'd never seen you slam down so many beers in one night. Then you just grabbed her and gave her one of the hottest kisses I have ever seen in my life..."

Brian deadpanned. "I did not--"

"You told her you loved her."

"But I couldn't--"

"You did. And then you just galavanted back into Leighanne's arms, leaving Stacia in the dust like the kiss didn't mean a damn thing. That your words were just that. Words. You really hurt her, and that's why she's so uncomfortable," Holly added, her arms crossed over her chest.

"You've toyed with her for a long time, though you haven't realized it. The way you hug her and bring her close. You whisper in her ear and get her laughing. Tell her she's the best friend you've ever had... Then you start talking about Leighanne and your marriage. It's been killing her from the beginning..." AJ continued uncomfortably, hating the sorrowful expression on his best friend's face. "You didn't mean to do it--"

"Why hasn't she told me about it?"

"And what would you have said if she did? Just say it was sweet, but all you could be was friends? What would you do?" Holly questioned.

"She's told me before that she's happy we're friends--"

"And you believed her?"

"Why shouldn't--"

"Because she doesn't want to hurt you," Holly stressed with another indignant sigh. She loathed the fact that Brian was so oblivious to the pain he caused her best friend. She always regretted introducing them so long ago. "She loves you so damn much, Brian. She's always loved you and I doubt that she'll ever stop loving you. And that kills her inside. But, she can't let you go either. Not when you tell her you need her so much. That you don't know what you'd do without her. What to you expect her to say? That seeing you is torturing her soul?"

"I'm... I'm TORTURING her?"

"Holls--"

"When she sees you, and knows that someone like Leighanne has you... yes, you do torture her."

AJ winced when Brian's face crumpled with shame. "Okay, Holls, that was one too far--"

Holly was relentless, however, unable to bottle up years of watching her friend suffer in silence. "Do you love her? When you told her that at the party? Did you mean it? I mean... You were drunk, but when you're drunk, you speak truthfully--"

"You're right, I was drunk--"

"But did you mean it? Or were you just playing her along?"

Brian shifted uncomfortably on the plush couch and avoided any chance of meeting Holly's accusing eyes. He had barely remembered there had been a party during the end of Stacia's last visit. He could only recall a horrible hangover in which Leighanne had made particularly excruciating by screaming at him for more than an hour, then leaving him with a sick toddler. To hear that he had said he loved Stacia was a revelation that caused his stomach to knot with worry. Not that he had been mistaken, but that the truth had been revealed. He had never let that slip before--

"Brian, I want an answer."

"Stop interrogating him like he's a damn criminal, Holls--"

"Well he did steal her heart!"

"That's a horrible analogy," AJ groaned, cupping a hand over his lover's mouth.

"Did you mean it?" Holly pressed, her voice muffled.

"I was drunk, Holly, I didn't mean anything I said," Brian whispered painfully.

They were stunned into silence as his hand dropped from her mouth. Holly soon found her voice as she stood up, so angry with herself for letting Stacia meet someone like Brian. "Well... I was wrong. You and Leighanne really are meant for each other. You both play with people's hearts."

Brian had every intention of objecting to Holly's cruel assumption, but she left the room after slurring a curse behind his name. He was astounded at the tone she used with him, though his astonishment quickly faded when he evaluated his relationship with Stacia. He had never been true to his feelings about her. Had always held her at an arm's length because he feared her. She was so very intoxicating and alluring. He always fell hard in her presence--

"She'll probably apologize in the morning for snapping, B. She's just really upset about Stace right now. Her whole place was trashed by some psycho-dickhead... I mean, the shit he took... It's just not normal for a burglar, y'know?"

"No, I don't know... no one ever said what he took, or why..." Brian trailed off, looking up at AJ in question. "All I knew was that someone broke into her apartment and she was coming to Malibu for awhile."

"The bastard was just a fucking freakshow," AJ muttered, slipping deep within the couch and throwing his feet over the opposite side. His entire body was exhausted from worrying about the young woman. He just need a chance to breathe. To know she was safe here. "He went into her house and trashed the entire place. He stole her clothing and jewelry and perfume. Hell, he took her favorite underwear--"

"He took her underwear?"

"Yeah, the police still don't understand why he broke in and stole her personal things. She hasn't dated anyone in a long time and nothing happened before to make them think the guy knew her--"

"Well, are they doing anything about it?" Brian snapped, not expecting to come off so crisp and curt, but unable to help himself. The very idea that a man had stolen into Stacia's house to steal her intimate items was appauling. His stomach clenched with tight knots and a fiery ball of anger set his body aflame. He wanted action to be taken against the man for frightening Stacia. Heaven forbid that she had been home when he slipped inside--

"What are they going to do, B? They looked around the house for evidence. Grilled Stacia like she was the bastard. Suggested she change her locks. And left."

"That's all they did?"

"It's the police... what do you expect them to do?"

"But it's their job to--"

"The guy didn't leave any prints of any kind. No one heard him break in, so there were no witnesses. To them, it's an open and shut case."

"If the jerk is stealing her lingerie it's obviously not an open and shut case!"

"Why are you getting so upset? She's here. Safe and sound. Besides, she's not your wife, remember?"

"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," AJ sighed, rubbing his weary face with the heels of his hands once more.

"It means something if you said it--"

"I just don't understand you, B. Hell, Stace is absolutely perfect for you. She loves Baylee to death and would do anything for that boy. I've caught him calling her Mommy before, but she gets such a pained face when she has to correct him. Yet you picked Leighanne... She's never home and when she is home, she treats you like shit. I've seen the bruises when you two come to blows... It's just... Miserable..."

"Staci is my best friend, J. Nothing more... nothing less..." Brian kept his gaze onto his hands, knowing if he looked into his best friends eyes, the truth would spill out. He had always wanted something more with Stacia.

"She's more than that to you."

"I can't do anything about it now, J--"

"You could if you wanted her bad enough."

"I can't--"

"Is it because of her age?"

"God no--"

"Then what is it?"

"Her age may have been a problem in the beginning..." Brian trailed softly, loathing the very fact that he even had to have the conversation. It had always been an internal battle. She had only been eighteen when they had met and nineteen when he was getting married. Nineteen seemed so young compared to twenty-five years. Her second year of college. She was filled with so much ambition. Too much to ask her to be married...

"Okay, so what is stopping you now? She's twenty-five years old. A woman. She's not a girl anymore, and she's got a damn good head on her shoulders."

"She's always had a good head on her shoulders--"

"So what's the fucking problem?"

"I'm married!"

"Happily?"

"AJ--"

"Leighanne makes you goddamn miserable and your chance to be happy is right in front of you."

"I'm not having an affair--"

"Divorce the bitch!"

"I'm not going to put Baylee through that!"

"If you stay married to Leighanne, your son is going to think marriage is where the wife is always away and when she is home, she abuses the husband."

"I'm not abused--"

"Everytime you come over after a fight, you have fucking bruises all over your damn body, B!"

"I'm clumsy as Hell," Brian grunted, reaching across the coffee table to snatch his keys. He was tired of the accusations. "And I love Leighanne. She's a good woman. Successful. Determined. She came straight up to me after that video shoot and asked for my number--"

"Not because she liked you."

"What do you--"

"She wanted you for your fame and money. Why can't you see that?"

"Because she's not spending every dime of mine and hanging around home, laying on the sofa, eating bon-bons!" Brian exploded with disgust, tripping over the blanket that had been tossed by Stacia when she retrieved Baylee. Cursing unexpectedly, he kicked at the nearby wall. Why had things gone so wrong in his life?

"--Where are you going?"

"Home. I'll pick up Scooper in the morning."

"Bri, wait--"

"I'm not going to stay and be attacked about my life and my marriage. I'll be here in the morning," Brian interrupted, grasping the doorknob.

AJ opened his mouth to speak, but the slam of the front door echoed throughout the large home. He hadn't meant to push Brian, but it had been unavoidable. At some point, Brian needed to wake up to the reality of his life. Good or bad.

"Feeling better?" AJ inquired of his lover, looking over the top of the newspaper to see Holly pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee. She was dressed in a pair of skinny black jeans and a white tank top with one of the local punk band designs. She looked refreshed with her short blonde locks lightly dampened by her early morning shower. Though her beautiful face glowed from the recent love making of the morning. He had awoke to hearing the water running from their master bathroom. So, he had eagerly joined her for the shower, making sure to devote time to assuring her needs were met before leaning under the gently cascading warm waters to reunite their bodies.

"Much," Holly smiled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her pierced ear as she sat down at the table next to him. Her bare foot creeped up his leg and massaged the back of his calf.

"I'm glad," AJ approved with his own chershire grin, reaching down to tickle her bare foot before bringing his own cup of cooling coffee to his lips. Making a face at the sour taste, he excused himself to pour a new cup. "You hungry?"

"Starving. You always work up my appetite," Holly giggled, reaching for the comic section of the morning paper.

"Got to make good use of my free time till this new album hits," AJ retorted with a chuckle, collecting a variety of items from the fridge to make breakfast for his lover. He decided that pancakes sounded delicious this morning and chocolate chips could be added for when Baylee woke. And blueberries for Stacia. She loved blueberries... Muffins especially... Maybe he could whip up a quick batch...

"You're going to spoil me with all this random love-making... what am I going to do while you're on tour?" Holly inquiered, pouring her usual amount of sugar and cream into her coffee.

"Learn how to do phone sex properly."

"Alex!"

"What?!"

"Phone sex is disgusting--"

"Phone sex is nothing compared to those romance novels you're always reading--"

"Hey, I've used some of those ideas in the bedroom and I never heard you complain!"

"Exactly! So why can't you relay them on the phone?"

"Because," Holly stood up and wrapped her arms around him from behind, her fingers playing with his '69' tattoo. "I like the... physical aspects of love making."

"Well, so do I," he grunted, continuing to furiously stir the pancake batter though she teased him just the same. His entire body blazed with excitement at her playfulness, knowing that it was all he could do to keep himself from wisking her upstairs once more. "But when we have miles between us, we're going to need to figure something out. Unless you want me to buy a blow-up doll--"

"Alexander James McLean!" Holly burst in shock, her hands smacking his backside.

"Damn, you're so fucking easy to tease," AJ laughed, though he jerked a little at the stinging sensation evading his jean-clad backside.

"That was not funny--"

"It was hysterical!"

"Alexander--"

"I love you."

"Yeah?"

"I love you very much," AJ promised, pouring a few rounds of pancakes onto the buttered pan before moving away from the stove. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her close to press a soft kiss to her open mouth. "You're my everything, Holls. Since the beginning."

"And to the end," Holly added to the promise, resting her arms around around his inked neck. "I love you, too."

"I'm thinking that you'll be touring with me anyway. Brian always has Baylee and Leighanne with him. Howie will most certainly have Leigh after the wedding and all... We'll work it out. So don't worry, alright? You'll get wrinkles."

"Alright," Holly rolled her eyes with a smile as they kissed once more. "Better watch the pancakes. You have a tendency to burn them."

"Like everything you make doesn't smoke the house," AJ snorted, though he flipped the pancakes nonetheless. "I was always grateful when Stace came to stay, because it meant good food."

"Once she gets rid of the jetlag, I'm sure she'll be making meals," Holly poked his side.

"Thank God, though I don't know if the jetlag is going to wear off when she's crying at night."

"I'm going to kill your best friend... you know that, right?"

"I don't know if it is all entirely Brian's fault."

"Who else would be at fault?"

"I looked up those drugs last night. Ativan is for extreme anxiety and panic attacks. Ambien is something to help insomnia--"

"I still don't understand why Brian isn't to blame... she told him the medication was from all the stress at work--"

"What would cause her to have panic attacks?"

"I don't know why she would have panic attacks, Alex," Holly stressed, collecting the finished pancakes and taking them back to the table she had already set. Adding a libral amount of butter and syrup, she stabbed at the fluffy pancakes before shoving a forkful into her mouth. "She hasn't told me about anything that would cause panic attacks."

"Something happened, Holls. That's all I'm saying," AJ turned off the burner and sat down at the table, dishing up some pancakes.

"She would have told me if something horrible had happened," Holly continued to disagree, taking a long swallow of her coffee while her mind churned with possibilities. It was as if AJ were referring to the break-in as proof that something else had occured. But hadn't the break-in been a random pervert?

"Are you sure?"

"She's my best friend, she would--"

"I think if it were something horrible enough to cause panic attacks that she might be afraid to tell you. Hell, she knows how stressed you get about the little things. Like when that one drunk in the ER gave her a black eye--"

"I don't get stressed! I get worried about her. God forbid I should worry--"

"Holls, I'm not bitching at you for worrying about her. But you tend to get...overworked... You were rough on Brian last night because of it--"

"He wanted the truth, and I gave it to him. I wasn't going to sugarcoat it and from the way he slammed the door last night, you got on his case as well."

"I said some shit that he didn't agree with."

"And you were blunt about it, weren't you?"

"Holls--"

"I'm glad you gave him a load of Hell. He deserves it," Holly huffed, not bothering to wait for her lover's plea. "He was absolutely horrible the last time Staci came to visit. When he kissed her like that, I thought it was finally going to happen..."

"He's married, Holls... Unless he files for divorce, nothing is going to happen between them..."

"Then why doesn't he divorce the bitch? She makes him absolutely miserable!"

"I think he's scared of her."

"Scared? Of her?"

"You asked for my opinion."

"But why would he be scared of her?"

"You've seen the bruises on that man the past couple of months. Whenever he says that Leighanne and him have had a fight. I think she beats the living shit out of him. And he was taught never to hit a woman. So what do you expect?"

"He... how could she... I can't believe..." Holly trailed off, at a loss for words.

"He won't come out and admit it, but why would he?"

"He'd be ashamed..."

"He loves Staci. I know that he does. There's no denying it when you watch him talk about her. Especially during interviews."

"I know he does. I just wish there was something I could do."

"I don't know what you could do, Sweetheart," AJ murmured softly, reaching to pat her hand. "But I do think we should spend the day with our favorite daughter. She needs to get some shit and you know how much I love shopping... And dressing her..."

"Yeah, but this time you stay outside the dressing room," Holly raised an eyebrow.

"What?" AJ sputtered, unable to help the saucy grin crossing his face.

"I know you too well, Alexander--"

"One time and I'm shamed forever!"

"However," Holly pressed on, her foot creeping up his leg again. "If you're good, maybe you can come into my dressing room and help me try some things on..."

"But I've already seen all of that mess," AJ complained, grunting in shock when her foot kicked at his shin.

"I'm openly giving you a chance to be adventurous with me in a dressing room and you're blowing it!"

"I was kidding! Jesus Christ!"

"Make it up to me."

"How much money do you want this time?" AJ muttered, reaching into his back pocket for the leather wallet. When Holly shrieked with disgust, he grinned and hauled her into his arms. When she fought, he then tossed her onto his shoulder and hurried up the stairs. He had every intention of making love to her the entire morning.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Unconciousness had been the state of her mind that night, because it was nothing close to sleep. There were no dreams under the mask of medication. No men haunting the darkest depths of her mind, waiting to leap out and take her. Though ribbons of red spilling from her body while the man panted and grunted over her began to seep into her when the medication weaned. But movements against her side were quick to take hold of her consciousness. Snapping her eyes opened with every belief that she was in danger, she felt a cool sweat of relief break when she noticed Baylee sitting on her stomach. His thick platinum curls were wild from slumber and his light blue eyes sparkled with curiousity. "Morning Sweetheart."

"Mornin'," Baylee murmured, though he leaned over her to study the cut against the front of her throat and odd brusing pattern. He then took her hand and studied the array of bruising over the arm that had been wrenched by the assailant. "You got hurts."

"Just little hurts," Stacia assured, running her fingers through his curls.

"What happened?" Baylee questioned, his fingertips touching the cut. Stacia had managed to keep her neck hidden the night before, but with the warm weather in California, she would have to resort to other cover-ups.

"Just a little accident, Honey," Stacia cooed, shifting so she was propped against the head of the bed. Taking Baylee by slipping her hands beneath his arms and hauling him against her chest.

"You okay?" Baylee looked up into her eyes.

"I'm just fine. Especially with you in my arms."

"You love me?" Baylee asked hopefully.

"Too much," Stacia promised, kissing his forehead.

"Good. Love you, too."

"I was hoping so," Stacia smiled, hugging him tightly.

"I missed you," Baylee murmured softly, snuggling against her while the covers were brought around him. Curling a honey curl around his tiny fingers, he smiled. "You gonna stay 'fore awhile?"

"I sure am. We'll spend tons of time together, okay?"

"Okay."

"In fact... how about tomorrow... we go to the mall and the toy store?"

Sitting up immediately within Stacia's lap, Baylee's light blue eyes sparkled with delight. "Really? You buy me stuff? Though I'm not supposed to to ask! Please?!"

"A trip with you wouldn't be complete without spoiling you rotten," Stacia laughed, kissing his forehead. "I'll buy you some stuff, Bayster."

"Thank you, Staci!"

"You're more than welcome, Sweetheart."

"Wait! I got to potty!" Baylee announced suddenly, hopping off Stacia's lap with a sharp squeal.

"Well rush!" Stacia laughed, watching Baylee hurry into the guest bathroom and hurriedly slam the door behind him. The child was so unbelievably goofy. Of course, he got that from his father. So, he couldn't have been more adorable. So, carefully climbing out of the large bed, she gathered the terry robe around her aching body. "Bay, I'm going to go downstairs and start breakfast for us. Okay?"

"C'n we have choco chip pancakes, Staci?"

"Of course! Can't want pancakes without the choco chips! Come down to the kitchen when you're done, alright?"

"Okay! Gotta choke the potty first!"

"Such a goofball," Stacia murmured to herself with a small laugh, heading out of the guest room and down the steps. Bare feet padding into the kitchen, she noticed the ingrediants for pancakes waiting on the island counter with a note. Plucking the note from beneath the bottle of Pepsi, she briefly read Holly's flowing handwriting. It seemed that Holly and AJ would be out for the day and she was supposed to relax at home. AJ had always been sporadic with his romantic plans.

Grabbing the necessary bowls and egg beater, Stacia got to work making Baylee's favorite pancakes. Soon she heard small feet pattering down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Done choking the potty, Baby?"

"Mmhmm!" Baylee answered, climbing onto the barstool with some effort. He grunted and groaned, but managed to seat himself without help. And, pushing up onto his knees, he snuck a handful of chocolate chips.

"Don't think I didn't see you, Mr. Baylee," Stacia warned, watching the child out of the corner of her eye.

"I know," Baylee promised with a messy grin. "But you let me!"

"I just can't resist your charm," Stacia shook her head and laughed, kissing his cheek. "When the batters ready, add the chips, okay?"

"If I got some left," Baylee promised with a nod, offering a salute.

"You might want to save some if you want choco chip pancakes--"

"Uncle J always has more!"

"I don't know... you and Aunt Holly sure love choco chips--"

"That just means that Uncle J has lots of them!"

"You are so stubborn sometimes," Stacia shook her head, hiding a smile.

"You love me," Baylee decided, adding fistfuls of chocolate chips when Stacia motioned for him to do so. He grinned with delight when a plentiful supply was mixed into the batter and squealed when the batter was dripped into the pan. He continued to share secrets with Stacia while the pancakes cooked. And, when she helped him serve the pancakes onto plates, he hurried toward the breakfast nook. "Smells good!"

"Because we made them!" Stacia agreed, kissing the top of his head as they sat down to their plates of food.

Only, after cutting up Baylee's pancakes, the doorbell chimed. Not wanting to interupt the boy's meal, she insisted that he eat and excused herself. Playing with the belt cinched at her waist, she moved toward the foyer. The edges had loosened to reveal the swell of clevage, but she hadn't noticed. Instead, she opened the door and felt her heart plummet at the sight of Brian. "...Hey..."

"Hey... I came to pick up Scooper. Am I too early?" Brian forced back to urge to wet his lips at the sight of her in a robe. She could make a paper bag look sexy.

"He's just eating breakfast right now..." Stacia trailed, stepping back to let the man into the house. She could only remember the feel of his soft lips pushing against hers in the dimly lit club. His tongue eagerly parting her lips while pushing her toward a nearby wall. Her entire body had warmed at the touch of his body against hers. How she wanted him...

"Did he give you any trouble during the night?" Brian tried to make conversation as they walked back towards the kitchen. After the conversation with AJ and Holly, he had barely slept in his empty home. True to her word, Leighanne was gone yet again.

"He cuddled with me all night. No problems whatsoever," Stacia assured, hesitating on entering the kitchen when she heard Baylee singing to his pieces of pancakes. "He's an angel."

"That's good..." Brian trailed off, fidgeting with his hands as he tried to find the right words to say. "Staci, I just want to say I'm so--"

"I dropped my medication on the floor. It's not your fault that you picked it up for me and read the names," Stacia was quick to intervene, not wanting him to blame himself. From what Holly had mentioned, his home life was not all that pleasant.

"I just get worried about you, all alone in Philadelphia in a not-so-decent neighborhood..."

"I don't mind living by myself..." Stacia murmured encouraginly, leaning against the wall when Brian made no move to enter the kitchen. "Well, I didn't mind living by myself..."

"So they don't know who could have broken into your apartment? No leads at all?"

"They don't have any kind of clue as to who did it," Stacia murmured, gesturing toward the living room when she realized Brian was more interested in talking than picking up Baylee. She curled herself onto the end of the touch, tucking her feet beneath her, and started to play with the belt of the robe. She could only remember how incredibly frightened she was when she noticed the broken lock on her front door. Then the devastation lurking inside. Every single photograph of her with the guys had been shredded. Slurs had been carved into her walls. Mirrors broken. Her intimate items missing. And a wedding chapel's advertisement left on her coffee table with withered roses.

"I'm sorry that it happened to you... at least you weren't home when the bastard broke in," Brian tried to reassure her, even if it was only slightly.

"Yeah, I think he would have had too much fun if I had been home..."

"He just took personal things? Nothing valuable like jewelry or money?"

"He took some of my jewelry. But it wasn't the expensive jewelry. Just my favorite jewelry. The stuff I wear all the time, y'know? Like the bracelet you bought me in Ireland."

"Oh, Staci-Gracie..."

"I know it only cost about ten dollars, but it was one of my favorite bracelets..."

"Sweetheart..." Brian trailed, awed that she had even kept the bracelet. It had been a whim when they were walking the streets of Ireland. He had taken her with him during one of the tours. She had been so excited, since her ancestry was Irish. And, while admiring the small shops, her eyes had been drawn to a Claddah bangle bracelet made of silver with an emerald heart. It had matched her eyes so beautifully. He couldn't resist purchasing it.

"It just..." Sighing heavily, Stacia allowed the robe to shrug off her bare shoulders, draping about her elbows. She knew that the man who attacked her in the alley had found her home...

"It just what?" Brian pressed gently. It had been so long since they had actually talked, though he wished it was under better circumstances.

"What kind of idiot breaks into my house and steals my panties and stuff? He rifled through my dirty clothes and took stuff from there too... It's... I guess I should just be thankful I have friends in Malibu, huh?"

"Yeah... Stace... are you sure you don't know of anyone who would break into your place?"

"No, I don't," she whispered, unable to tell him what had happened.

"Well, at least you're safe here. None of us will let anything happen to you," Brian reached out and tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sure Holly would murder Alex if he let anything happen to me," Stacia gaurenteed with a small smile, reaching up to brush her fingers gently over his wrist. She couldn't stand to be parted from him, even though he had shattered her heart at her last vacation.

"I think she would murder any of us if something happened to you," Brian chuckled. He scooted over and brought her into his arms for a gentle hug.

"I missed you," Stacia whispered after a moment, tucking her arms beneath his and embracing him. She tucked her chin into the crook of his neck, inhaling the sweet scent of his cologne. She had come to the realization that she needed him to be part of her life. No matter what form he took, she needed him. Especially now. When she feared the world. "I'm sorry about last time."

"I missed you, too," Brian replied, running his fingers through her curls. It had been so long since she was in his arms. "You shouldn't be sorry... I should. I crossed the line and--"

"I think you should kiss me like that more often," she teased, feeling the fiery warmth of a blush crossing his face.

"I didn't think about what I was doing--"

"I know. Otherwise it never would have happened."

"Staci-Gracie--"

"We go through this every single time we see each other," Stacia groaned, pulling away from his embrace. Gathering the robe about her once more, it was all she could do to keep the tears from falling. "You know how I feel about you."

"I know, but--"

"You're married."

"Yes, I am."

"And I know that. I accept that. I always have."

"I know you do..." Brian sighed heavily, his heart torn between keeping up the facade and telling her the truth.

"We've always made better friends anyway."

"You're my best friend, Staci-Gracie."

"I love you too," she promised, leaning over to place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Always," he smiled, kissing her forehead.

"I'm just going to have to start dating Nick, since I can't get any other Backstreet Boy," she sighed dramatically.

"You're funny," he groaned with a roll of his eyes.

"He wants me bad, B."

"You'd really date him?"

"He's a good looking guy and he's funny... Why wouldn't I date him?"

"Because it's Nick?"

"What's wrong with him?"

"It's Nick," Brian repeated, not sure if he could phrase his feelings any differently. He knew that deep inside he would hate any man that stole Stacia's heart. But Nick was a special case. Nick was his best friend and knew how much Brian cared about her. She was untouchable.

"He's your best friend, B."

"Right... and you're my best friend... Nick is... he's not as mature as you. He doesn't take relationships seriously."

"Maybe I just need a carefree relationship right now."

"I... I just don't think dating him is a good idea--"

"Why?"

"Because it's Nick--"

"You already said that."

"I know but--"

"If Vin Diesel calls me first, I'm sure I'll accept, but if not, I'm going to have to go with what becomes available. Maybe I need a good guy to protect me and hold me and love me--"

"I can do that just as well as any other guy."

"You're married."

"That doesn't matter!"

"So you're suggesting an affair?"

"No! But as a friend, I can still do those things."

"Sometimes just having great guy friends isn't enough," Stacia muttered, hating that she felt so lonely without having someone to love her. She had never been interested in dating since Brian had gotten married. Too afraid of being hurt. But, when she was attacked in the dead of night, she started to wonder if it was her fault. If she had been dating someone, how easy would it have been for him to pick her up? To keep her safe.

"Staci, that's not fair. I can't cheat on my wife--"

"I'm not asking you to cheat on Leighanne!"

"Then why can't I be enough?"

"Why are you asking me to be alone for the rest of my life? Why is it that you're allowed to be married and raise a family? Be blissfully married? And I'm forced to be barren."

"Blissfully married? You think I'm blissfully married? I never see my wife, Staci. She leaves for days at a time, leaving me alone with Baylee."

"Who's fault is that, Brian?"

"Staci--"

"I asked you to not marry her, Brian. I pleaded with you to reconsider. That I could make you so happy. But you still married her. I'm sorry that I can't sympathize with you having an unhappy marriage. But just because you made a horrible choice doesn't mean that I have to be miserable for the rest of my life. I deserve to have a man who loves me unconditionally. When I'm alone, I get hurt. I can't do it anymore."

"Staci--"

"You're my best friend, Brian. You always will be. But if someone comes along... I don't want to be alone."

"But you're not alone..."

"I feel like I am."

"Staci..."

"It's been a rough couple of weeks, B," Stacia murmured, hating that all their conversations turned so tense nowadays. It wasn't fair. She just wanted to have him in her life, yet everything turned so complicated. Forcing herself to calm, she rested her head in his lap and put his hands on her forehead. Ignoring the sensation of the cold gold wedding ring, she pushed herself to be comforted. "I just want you right now."

"I think I can do that," Brian replied softly, running his fingertips over her forehead and through her scalp. He remembered doing this after she had a long day at school or work.

"It feels like I haven't slept for a century," she continued to explain, though she wouldn't delve into why it had been so hard to sleep. Or why she needed to take anti-depressants to keep from harming herself.

"You've had it rough lately," Brian sympathized, deciding not to press her at the moment. He just wanted her to relax.

"I heard you have too..."

"It hasn't been easy living with Leighanne, but I make sure Scooper's not around to see anything--"

"I'm not sure you can shield him from all the hate in your house, Sweetheart. He's such a smart kid. He picks up on more than you realize."

"Has he told you anything?"

"He says you're sad a lot and Leighanne is never home. But when she is home, she doesn't want to play, she just yells."

"Oh, no..." Brian sighed heavily. He had tried so hard to protect his son from what was going on.

"He can spend as much time with me as he wants," Stacia offered, catching one of his hands to twine their fingers.

"Are you sure you don't mind? I just hate him having memories like this at such a young age... and he loves you to pieces..."

"Anytime the squirt wants to be with me is fine."

"Thank you so much, Staci-Gracie," he sighed softly, kissing her knuckles.

"I'd do anything for Baylee. You know that. But you have to promise to spend time with us too."

"Of course. Like I'd miss out on Staci and Baylee time."

"And maybe some Staci and Brian time?"

"Yeah?" He looked down at her with a smile.

"If you want to?"

"I would love to."

"I'm like his personal Barbie, you know that right?" Stacia mused to her best friend, glancing up from the rack of shirts to see AJ dashing off across the store in search of more clothing. The man had made sure to clear out time to take Stacia and Holly shopping. Since Holly was just looking to add to her collection of clothing in a walk-in closet, the couple settled on loading Stacia's arms with items. She had not a stitch of clothing left since the destruction of her apartment. And she wasn't used to the attention either. A whole day for her. It seemed wrong.

"Yeah, I know. Just let him have his fun and enjoy the clothes," Holly laughed, kissing Stacia's cheek as she pulled out a ripped black tanktop with a hot pink one underneath.

"We'll see how comfortable you are with it when he insists on coming into the dressing room to help put on the clothing too," Stacia teased, wrinkling her nose at all the layers of pinks in the current rack of clothing. Moving toward the next, she found a more causual style of comfortable clothing. Blues, greens, oranges, purples. She enjoyed those colors more.

"We'll see... Are you ever going to try on something with pink in it?" Holly shook her head with a smirk.

"I haven't been dressed in pink since I was old enough to pick out my own clothes," Stacia reminded, flipping through a variety of jeans. She needed everything.

"Some pinks aren't that bad... like hot pink and black together--"

"It's still pink."

"But it's a funky pink--"

"Again, Holly Ann, it's still pink."

"You're never going to change your mind, are you?"

"Never," Stacia promised, selecting a few pairs of low rising hip huggers. They were faded and ripped. Her mother would have been furious that she was buying already destroyed jeans. But they were the most comfortable.

"I thought so," Holly teased, pulling a pair of jeans off the rack she knew Stacia would love. Dark indigo with embriodered fairies and flowers. "What about these?"

"Nice," Stacia approved, allowing the saleswoman to sweep in and confiscate all the items she had plucked from the racks. The women were so much more accomadating when a celebrity was within their vicinity.

"Soon you'll have more clothes than I do!"

"I highly doubt that--"

"You're right... Alex has the most--"

"I heard that!" the man hollered from across the store, his arms bundled within a high stack of various clothing.

"And it's the truth!" Holly laughed with a roll of her eyes.

"Well then we're just going to have to buy Staci a shitload of clothes so she beats me," AJ grunted, handing over his own stack of clothing to the next saleswoman.

"So competitive," she clicked her tongue.

"It's in my nature," AJ chuckled, leaning over to smack a playful kiss to his lover's cheek. "It's the business I grew up in. I can't help that."

"How is the business, Alex? The new album? I heard it's supposed to be quite fantastic, even though Kevin decided to become a family man," Stacia asked, peering over AJ's shoulder and plucking a pair of colorful board shorts from the rack he was examining.

"It's been great. Going back to the recording studios with the fellas... Kev's even helped record and produce some of the songs. The response from the fans was better than we hoped," AJ replied, grabbing a pair of flip-flops and hat to match the shorts she had grabbed.

"And I'm sure that Hollywood's career is sky-rocketing now that you boys are back again," Stacia deduced, looking toward her best friend who she affectionately coined 'Hollywood' since moving to California. After all, it had been the Backstreet Boy's initial success that had put Holly at the top of her career. Who had ever thought a simple press junket could do so much in a person's life.

"My blog gets over two thousand hits a day... not to mention the magazine when they release a new issue," Holly smiled proudly. Writing was what she loved, and it made her happy.

"You two deserve all the success in the world," Stacia praised with a soft smile, allowing AJ to pull her toward the bikini display. Since he had his own swimming pool and lived on the beach, she needed a variety of swimsuits. One for every day of the week, or so AJ insisted. Though, with her heeling bruises, she wasn't sure if she should really be looking yet. But he insisted with his infectious personality.

"I know," AJ teased, kissing her cheek as Holly followed.

"He means thank you," Holly replied, gently pulling on one of Stacia's pigtails with a smile.

"I've learned his language quite well," Stacia reminded with a small smile, taking the bikinis each person had selected for her. "I've been with you guys for... A long time..."

"I know. And I wouldn't have it any other way," Holly wrapped an arm around Stacia's shoulder and slobbered a kiss on her cheek.

"Honestly, you two are impossible," Stacia groaned when AJ decided to slobber the opposite cheek with his own affections. Squirming wildly, she managed to break free from their embraces and hurried into the dressing room. "Amuse yourselves while I get naked!"

"Hey, I get amused watching you get naked--"

"Y'know, someone could take real offense to that!"

"Yeah, like me!" Holly growled.

"I can't help it that your best friend is fucking sex on wheels!" AJ yelped when a fist landed into his shoulder. Reeling backward, he held his hands up in defense. "Baby, just because I love looking at her doesn't mean I'd sleep with her!"

"Yeah, I ain't that great in bed," Stacia muttered from behind the door of the dressing room, overhearing the entire conversation. Meanwhile, she had dressed in one of the bikinis and overlooked her body. The bruises and scratches were slowly starting to fade. But not enough. Looking at her reflection just disgusted her.

"You're grounded to the couch," Holly threatened, turning towards the dressing room. "Stace, you got a bikini on yet?"

"You'll get horny as Hell and come looking for me on the couch," AJ grumbled, glancing over his shoulder to see a few girls squealing and huddled in a mass. Narrowing his dark eyes, he had to grin with amusement when he noticed Brian slinking into the store. He glanced around at the clothing, brushing his fingers over a few fabrics, and looked to AJ. He tried to affect a look of surprise, but Brian was far too obvious. "What are you doing here, B?"

"Just looking around," Brian shrugged, adjusting his UK hat to cover his blond locks that always gave him away.

"Need some more clothes?" AJ guessed, watching Brian tug out a pair of overly faded denium jeans with large holes torn into the knees. He knew the man would never step into such a pair of jeans and had to smother a laugh when Brian laid them over his arm.

"Yeah... Cuz has Scooper for the day, so I thought I would spoil myself... for once--"

"I've never seen you buy clothes here before," AJ murmured, looking over his shoulder to see Holly's stormy eyes widen with surprise at the site of Brian selecting an unusual style of clothing. The man was more comfortable in regular jeans and t-shirts. Sports logos and whatnot. He was no rocker. Nothing like AJ. "Branching out, huh? Want to be like your best friend AJ! You're just so sweet, B!"

"Don't flatter yourself," Brian grumbled, reaching out and taking a variety of clothing though he hadn't bothered to appraise its style. He just needed to look like he was actually shopping for himself. Though, he had really just wanted to see Stacia. He had overheard them discussing their plans for shopping. He had hoped... Just maybe...

"You came just in time," AJ decided with a hearty chuckle, watching Holly talk softly through the dressing room door.

"What do you mean?"

"I may be a dumbass sometimes, but I'm not stupid," AJ raised his eyebrow towards the older man and watched his cheeks redden.

"I did come out to buy myself some new clothes," Brian argued, though not well.

"If you're going to use that story, at least pick out your style--"

"Okay, I'm coming out! Heaven have mercy you drive me nuts, Holly Ann!" Stacia growled, unknowingly interupting the men's argument. She stepped out of the dressing room and allowed herself a brief runway walk as if Holly were a pushy designer. Pausing at the end of her imaginary runway, her emerald eyes widened in surprise at seeing Brian. Immediatey a rosy blush grew on her cheeks and she crossed her arms protectively over her chest. She was wearing a purple camoflaged halter style bikini top that tied at her neck and back with a matching pair of black boy-cut bikini bottoms. She had toned quite well over the years and her breasts rose and fell with each quick breath. Perky.

"Uh... did I forget to mention Brian stopped in?" AJ tried with a sheepish smile as he watched Brian's jaw drop in surprise.

"Both of you forgot to mention that," Stacia mumbled.

"It was a surprise!" AJ exclaimed, glancing to see Brian's eyes eagerly roving Stacia's delectable form. It was as if he hadn't seen a woman in years. "He came to shop for himself. He didn't even know we'd be in here."

"Really?" Stacia questioned skeptically, looking to the clothing in Brian's arms. "Does he want to be AJ Jr.?"

"Is there anything wrong with my style, Ms. Lord?"

"Not at all, I love your style," Stacia purred softly. "But Brian Boo-Boo Bear just don't fly as a rocker, Sweetheart."

"Especially those ripped jeans," Holly shook her head, stifling a chuckle.

"Would you three stop busting my ass?" Brian grunted, forcing his eyes away from the delicious curves of Stacia's form.

"It's just such a cute ass, Brian," Stacia cooed, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his cheek, though her lips landed upon the corner of his mouth. "Do you like the bikini?"

"I like it a lot... purple's definitely your color," Brian's cheeks seemed to become a deeper red when he felt her lips so close to his.

"Especially matches these bruises of yours," Holly murmured, glancing over the exposed skin of her best friend's body. She had noticed the somewhat deep cut across the front of Stacia's throat in the morning, but had said nothing about it. Yet, bruises around her thighs, arms, neck...

"ER drunks are rough," Stacia explained with a casual shrug of her shoulders, allowing Brian to twirl her in a circle to give a quick look at the suit.

"How did the drunks bruise your thighs?"

"Sometimes they came in kicking and screaming. I got in the way--"

"Thank God you weren't a dude," AJ murmured with a hard shudder.

"You're telling me," Stacia forced her laugh, feeling Brian's hand tighten on hers.

"Stace--"

"They're just bruises, Hollywood. Bruises fade."

"What about the cut on your throat?"

"Those cute ER Residents love it rough!"

"Stacia Grace--"

"Hey, how about you try on the other bikini's for us, Staci-Babe? I'm dying to see the one I picked out for you!" AJ interrupted with a smirk.

"I'll be right back," Stacia promised, leaning up to kiss AJ's cheek before moving back into the dressing room.

"Tell me you don't believe her about those bruises," Holly seethed, glaring toward the two men who had grown quiet. Nothing made sense about the location of the bruises, much less the cut on her throat. Something had happened in Philadelphia. Something more than the apartment being broken into.

"Attacking her like that isn't going to make her admit something else happened, Holls. Can't we just let her have fun and try on some clothes before you make her break down?"

"I just hate that she's covering up something."

"When she's ready to talk about it, she'll talk about it."

Frowning sharply, Holly turned to Brian, hoping that he would take her side. "Would you tell my boyfriend that--"

"I'm worried about her too. But, trying to force her into talking might just backfire on us and where would we be?"

"But where are we now?"

"Hol, we can't make her talk--"

"But--"

"She's been through a lot these past couple of weeks, Sweetheart. Let her adjust to Malibu again and then we'll see what happens. Please?" AJ pleaded, running his fingers under her chin.

"I just can't stand knowing that something horrible happened to her and she won't tell me anything about it. I mean... It's so frustrating to know that she doesn't trust me enough to tell me. I'd take care of her. I always have when no one else would. But she's been on her own for so long, even when she was a kid..."

"I don't think it's about trust... maybe she's afraid to talk about it. Or maybe she's in denial that something happened."

"Well, it's no surprise that another man hurt her. That's all they seem to do for her anymore," Holly huffed, giving a stern look to Brian.

"Holls, please don't start."

"But if he would have just--"

"I'm definitely digging this Pirates of the Carribean bikini," Stacia announced while stepping out of the dressing room. The black bikini that AJ had selected had a triangular cups with string ties. The left breast cup had a rhinestone decal of a skull and cross bones. The black bottoms were also string tied at her hips.

"I thought you would. That's why I picked it out," AJ grinned, surprised that drool wasn't dripping off Brian's bottom lip.

"Anything that reminds me of Jack Sparrow does my body good," Stacia purred seductively, dipping down with a saucy sway of her hips.

"Mine, too," Holly chuckled. It was like Stacia to act like a goofball and make everyone laugh.

"She even makes me dress up like him in the bedroom," AJ sighed with a pained expression, though he looked to Brian with a smart smirk. "What do you think, B?"

"It looks great," Brian enthused, playing with the string that was tied around Stacia's elegant neck.

"You can stand hanging out around the pool with me in this?" Stacia asked, stepping close to him when he pulled her close.

"I think I could manage," Brian assured, giving her a quick squeeze.

"Good," Stacia whispered against the side of his face, grinning when she picked out a pair of grunge jeans from his arms. "I want to see you in these."

"You what?"

"I want you to try these on."

"But--"

"Brian, you picked them out. Now try them on," Stacia insisted, pulling the other clothes from his arms to hand to Holly. Then, she guided him toward the dressing room that she was using. Grinning wickedly toward Holly and AJ, she shut the door behind her. "C'mon! Let's go!"

"Stacia Grace!" Holly exclaimed, laughing with wide eyes.

"What?!" Stacia groaned, noticing Brian's mortified expression as he froze within the center of the large dressing room. "He's got boxers on!" She then pouted toward the man. "Don't you need my help?"

"You always were the spontaneous one, weren't you?"

"Never have done the same thing twice," she confirmed, taking a seat on the bench and grabbing the belt of his jeans to tug him between her legs. "Try them on for me. I'm guessing you'll look hot as Hell."

"You think so?" Brian chuckled.

"I know so," she insisted, undoing the buckle of his belt and sliding it from his jeans. She had always hoped to undress him, though it would have been under more sexually tense circumstances.

"Are you sure the guys won't say I'm just trying to be like A--"

"Nick wears the same kind of jeans," Stacia argued, putting the belt at her side and reaching for the button of his jeans. "I've been dying to get you in a pair of these jeans."

"You're making it very hard to say no... you realize that, right?" Brian held back a groan as her fingers grazed the zipper.

"Of course I do," Stacia laughed, easing the jeans down his hips, aware of the man's panting. He was trying his best to control his delight, but she couldn't resist toying with him. It was what she did best.

"You drive me crazy," Brian grunted as he kicked off his jeans and Stacia held up the faded pair to try on.

"I've got to try to give you what your wife can't," she murmured softly, aware of the bumps against the door. She knew AJ and Holly were straining to hear the conversation, probably pressed tightly against the door for any sounds.

"Stacia," he whispered, running his fingers through her curls.

"Was that the wrong thing to say?" Stacia asked, looking up at him from her seated position.

"No, not at all. I just missed you so much--"

"I missed you too."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me when you kissed me..." Stacia replied, looking down to her hands though he continued to stand between her legs. "You hurt me when you walked back to her."

"I know... and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt--"

"You say that all the time..."

"And I mean it," Brian cupped her chin and made her look into his eyes. "If I could take back the moment I walked away, I would."

"You wouldn't have taken back the kiss?" Stacia questioned with surprise, biting down hard on her bottom lip. She felt his fingers gingerly brush her face and her heart throbbed with wanting.

"Staci-Gracie, kissing you was the best decision I made," Brian smiled. He always thought she looked adorable biting her bottom lip.

"But... It still doesn't change anything does it?"

"Can you give me some time to think things over?"

"Brian--"

"Think about things. Not fantasize."

Offering a rueful grin, she leaned back against the bench and rubbed her face. "What's the difference?"

"Thinking about things is a step forward?"

"I just don't think things are ever going to change between us, no matter how hard I try to seduce you," Stacia murmured with full honestly, collecting her clothing from the opposite side. Sliding out of the bikini, she hurriedly dressed, not caring if Brian saw her. "You always told me that you'd never divorce Leighanne. You'd never leave her no matter what happened."

"Things change--"

"Like what?"

"Things that I would want to talk about in private... and not in a dressing room with Holly and AJ eavesdropping."

"Oh, fucking c'mon, we're going to hear about it anyway," AJ groaned from outside the dressing room.

"Alex, shh!" Holly smacked his arm.

"OUCH!"

"Are we really going to talk about it?" Stacia asked, handing over the jeans that she still wanted him to try.

"Yes. I promise," he took the jeans and slipped them onto his tapered waist.

When he settled the jeans at the appropriate place on his waist, she reached out to button and zip the fly for him. She then leaned back and studied the particular style upon him. He had always been rugged in her mind. A good ol' southern boy. The faded and ripped jeans did him much justice. "I love them."

"Really?"

"Really," she grasped his shoulders and turned him to face the mirror.

"You don't think I look like a fool?" Brian inquired, scrutinizing his reflection in the mirror. When he had first started his career, it was all he could do to attempt to look fashionable. Far too comfortable in t-shirt and jeans. Then when it came time for award ceremonies... That had been a nightmare in the beginning. Now, with Leighanne nipping at his heels, he knew how to dress. She warned him constantly about making a fool of himself. Though, he instantly pushed her from his mind and looked to Stacia's image within the mirror. She looked gorgeous with her honey curls tied into pigtails draping over her delicate shoulders. Her emerald eyes twinkled in the soft lighting and a glossy smile was painted on her lips. She was everything he could have ever hoped to have.

"I think you look delicious," Stacia insisted quietly, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind. She couldn't stop herself when she tucked her chin against the crook of his neck. She inhale the sweet scent of his cologne, falling in love with him all over again.

"Me? Look delicious?"

"Are you not used to compliments or what?"

"Well--"

"You have always looked delicious in my eyes, and anyone who thinks differently is an idiot."

Brian sighed hatefully, and bit down hard on his inner cheek when Stacia's hands slipped beneath his t-shirt, caressing his toned stomach. "Tell Leigh that..."

"I wish you would let me," Stacia murmured against the side of his neck.

"I don't want her to start a fight--"

"You're worried I'd kick the shit out of her and ruin all the plastic surgery you sunk your money into," Stacia grunted, releasing him.

"No, it's not that," Brian disagreed, turning around to face her. "She'd call the police and I don't want you getting a criminal record."

"Providing I'd even let her get to a phone--" Growling when Brian's hand slid over her mouth to prevent her from speaking out, she looked to him. She hoped that her eyes would convey her distaste in his marriage, but the worry lurking in his light cerulean eyes halted her hate. Instead, she wondered why he looked so sad and lost since the last time they had visited one another. What had caused him to lose his hope... Sighing, she took his hand from her mouth and offered a soft kiss to his lips. He tensed immediately, but the softness of her lips coaxed him to part his. When their tongues met in a soft roll, she heard his moan of delight rumble in the base of his throat. "Take care of yourself, Brian."

"I will if you will take care of yourself--"

"I am taking care of myself," she murmured softly against his lips, not willing to pull away just yet.

"Will you come to me if you need to talk to someone?" Brian pressed his lips against hers once more.

"I always come to you when I need to talk," Stacia assured, gasping softly when his arms winded about her waist, pulling her closer than before.

"Promise me."

"Brian..."

"Staci, please."

"...What are you getting at?"

"I just want to know that if you need to talk to someone... you will come to me."

"I'll come to you..."

"Thank you," Brian breathed, taking a chance and giving her a bruising kiss.

When his hands tangled in her hair, mussing up the pigtails, he actually dipped backward. She arched up against him in delight, cupping the back of his neck with her hands. His tongue rolled against hers with a passion that she had never experienced before. There was a starving need beneath each nip of his teeth over her bottom lip. She felt as if he were pulling the very essence of her to him with the touch of his lips. It was everything that she hoped for.

Unable to help herself, she deepened the kiss with hopes that it would never end. She pushed back against him and wrapped her leg around him, drawing their bodies close. She felt as if she were on fire, knowing she never wanted it to end. Gasping softly when she felt the telltale hardness grow against her, she caught his lips in another hard kiss before he pulled back. "Brian..."

"You don't know how long I've waited to kiss you like this," Brian breathed, crushing her body against his.

Gasping when their bodies collided with the nearby wall, causing AJ and Holly to leap away cursing, she held her breath. Her emerald eyes darkened with the passion of her lust for him, though she wondered if his soul asked for the same. "From the way you acted, I didn't think you ever thought about me--"

"I always think about you. What you're doing, how your shift at the hospital went, if you ever went out to eat... what you did before going to bed. I constantly think about you."

"Who I've had in my bed--" Stacia added.

"Don't ruin the moment," Brian groaned, bringing her lips back to his.

"I wouldn't dare, I'm too afraid of waking up," she murmured against his lips, allowing herself to get caught within him once more.

~*~*~*~*~*~

In the harsh glow of the computer screen's lighting, Stacia's bruises seemed to electrifying in a brilliant coloring, drastically contrasting the creaminess of her complexion. She hadn't expected to scrutinize herself in just the glow of the computer, but couldn't sleep. Even the medication that helped her sleep had been unable to sink her into a state of unconsciousness. The nightmares had returned with a renewed vigor. Hands lunged out in the darkness, grabbing at her body and forcing her to the griddy pavement. Her throat tightened painfully as fingers dug into the flesh and other hands freely began to roam the rest of her body. Waking up drenched in sweat, she had crept downstairs to occupy her mind. Getting online, she briefly glanced over the news from Philadelphia. Not looking for anything in particular. Just clicking randomly as her mind wandered.

She had tried her best to lose herself to reality, but the soft padding of feet caught her aware of her surroundings. Seeing the reflection of a sleepy Holly in the computer screen, she sighed. "Y'know, if I wasn't allergic, I'd definitely take up smoking to calm my nerves."

"It's hard enough trying to get one person in my life to quit smoking. I don't need two," Holly yawned softly, sitting on the edge of the computer desk. "Can't sleep?"

"Nope," Stacia answered simply, continuing to look at the computer screen while flipping through the online newspaper for Philadelphia.

"What are you reading?" Holly craned her neck to get a better look at the screen.

"The news in Philly... Which is nothing but the same shit over and over. Killing. Mugging. Raping."

"And you wonder why I want you to move to Malibu?"

"As much as I love you, Holly, I wouldn't do well in Malibu."

"Why not? The Emergency Rooms are just as good here as in Philly--"

"It's not about the Emergency Rooms," Stacia assured, concentrating on the article about an increase in attacks against women. Looking to the vincinity of where they were occuring, she realized that it was her neighborhood. No rapes had been reported, but that was because each woman had managed to scare the man off. "Because Brian and Baylee live here with Leighanne. If I lived here permanently, I would have to see them constantly... I can't even manage to keep myself together when I only visit for a short vacation..."

"At least you'd be safe--"

"I would rather keep my heart mended together and be in danger than have it broken into pieces around Brian."

"But you two were so hot and heavy in the dressing room--"

"And that's all the farther it went, Hollywood. We made out in the dressing room till Alex smarted off about throwing condoms in for us. Then Brian got all upset and practically threw me to the side. He's always doing that. He keeps me close and tells me he thinks about me all the time... Then someone comes along, says something, and remembers he's married. I don't even think I could stand being an affair to him, even if it meant we'd be together. Because he would always go home to her... He always will go home to her..."

"Staci, you don't know that--"

"How many times has he said he would never divorce her? They've been married for seven years, Hol. I'm not going to hold my breath, nor am I going to let him play with my heart. I can't take it anymore."

"But you two..."

"He's irresistable."

"Then fight for him!"

"That's a battle I wouldn't win."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've been fighting it for seven very long and tiring years," Stacia sighed, clicking through a variety of letters to the editor from her local newspaper. Women were complaining about the recent attacks and lack of police follow up.

"If you loved him, you would keep fighting."

"Holly--"

"You would!"

"You don't even know what it feels like," Stacia murmured, noticing the attacks had a pattern. The types of women who were attacked...

"Alex and I had a few rough patches--"

"He didn't marry another woman after you begged him not to," Stacia muttered, terminating the connection with the paper when she became disgusted. Phildelphia had taken such an ugly turn over the years. It seemed no one was safe on the streets. An uneasy knot pulled at her stomach as she tucked her legs beneath her, pressing her elbows to the desk and resting her face in her palms. "I know you want the best for me, Hol. God knows you've always tried to get Brian to come to me. But we're just friends. The sooner I realize that. The better."

"I can see there's something more! Everyone can!" Holly tried to encourage the younger woman. She couldn't give up on Brian. Not when he was in such a dark pit with someone who could compete for the spawn of Satan. He needed Stacia; he just had to realize it. "You can't stop fighting."

"Do you have any idea how much it hurts to hear you say that?" Stacia murmured, heaving a hard sigh. It wasn't as if she hadn't fought herself on the same subject. She had tried so hard to forget him, but he was always so close to her heart. Forgetting him would be like losing part of her soul. Yet, she feared that her soul had already been spent in the streets of Philadelphia. Now she just wanted an opportunity to breathe without feeling as if the world would cave in.

"Staci--"

"You have someone who loves you unconditionally and would do anything for you. He falls asleep at your side every night. I don't have that. The man I want goes home to someone else. Loves someone else."

"He doesn't love her--"

"Then why does he stay with her? Why do they have a child together? Something has to be there, Holly."

"He made something be there. He lives behind a mask with her!"

"And he's the one that has to let that mask fall."

"But he doesn't realize that--"

"Exactly my point."

"He needs you to make him see--"

"I've been trying to make him see for seven years. Hell, longer than seven years. He's just not interested, no matter how much you want us to be together. I'm not made for him."

"That's plain bullshit, Stacia Grace!"

"Can you please shove this shit up his ass? Because I'm not the one you need to be bitching at."

"You're the one giving up--"

"I already did that," Stacia sighed, suddenly having no desire to remain in the study, especially if her best friend continued to stay. Since leaving Philadelphia, she found herself spiraling down into a deep pit of depression. She hadn't the same personality as before. Nor the fire. She just wanted to take her medication and sleep.

"Staci--"

"I'm tired."

"I didn't mean to yell. I just get worried and I want you to be happy..."

"And you go way overboard."

"I know, but--"

"I'm tired, Holly."

"I don't want you going to bed mad at me."

"We're not married--"

"You're my best friend."

"And you're my best friend, but tonight I just can't deal with it."

"I'll give you some space," Holly stood and brought Stacia into her arms. "Will you come to me when you're ready to talk?"

"I'm supposed to go to Brian first," Stacia groaned, although she accepted the hug and briefly gazed over her friend's shoulder to see AJ lingering in the doorway. "And I'm not coming to you afterwards."

"You can be such a smartass..." Holly trailed off, kissing her cheek.

"I was being honest," Stacia muttered, moving toward the doorway only to embraced by AJ as well. She knew that he had been eavesdropping in the doorway. It was his nature. Especially because he couldn't sleep without Holly tucked close to his side.

"Things will get better," AJ pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Yeah..."

"I promise--"

"I know," Stacia interupted, smacking a rushed kiss to his cheek before disappearing upstairs.

"That girl..." AJ sighed, though it shifted into a hard yawn. Shuffling into the study, he took a seat at the computer and drew his lover into his lap. He had stirred when she had left the warmth of the bed, unable to force himself back to sleep. So, he crept downstairs in hopes to catch her unawares, though he had been startled at the conversation he heard. "Honey, you've got to be more gentle."

"Neither one of them listen when I'm gentle," Holly retorted, resting her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Both of them get bullheaded when you're rough," AJ reminded her, gently rubbing her back through the satin of her nightie.

"I know..." Holly admitted, sighing heavily. She hadn't meant to come on so strong, but she just wanted what was best for her two friends. "I have a big mouth."

"Extremely big mouth," AJ chuckled. "But she'll forgive you."

"I hope so. I wish I knew what else was bothering her."

"Me too," AJ soothed softly, reaching for the mouse connected to the computer. Clicking around in the history box that stored all recent internet visits, he recalled the newspaper for Philadelphia. Glancing about the articles, he sighed. "Philly's got themselves a new pervert."

"That's why I want here to move here! That damn city is getting so dangerous--"

"Especially around her block."

"What do you mean?"

"The attacks have been happening around her block."

"That's..." Holly trailed off, leaning forward to read the article AJ had stopped on. "Oh my God..."

"Her block," AJ repeated, highlighting a small section of the even smaller article. It seemed as if the entire paper was riddled with muggings, theft, assaults, and homicides. Yet, Stacia had focused on this particular article and AJ soon found out why. Squinting at the bright screen in the darkness of the room, he read aloud, "Officer Beck, who has been following the string of assault cases, stated that this particular menace began his assaults with a recent breaking and entering into a woman's apartment."

"While nothing of value had been stolen, personal items such as clothing and intimate apparel were missing," Holly read on, her eyes wide with shock.

"Officer Beck goes on to say that the assailant seems to focus on a particular type of woman... No further comments could be made... Women are advised to be careful and walk in groups... Yadda-yadda-bullshit-bullshit--"

"He started with Staci... what if he--"

"Honey, he just broke into her apartment. If she was the first, then he just got his rocks off on her and moved to the next. I mean, it's fucking insulting that he scared her to death, but I'm sure--"

"If all he did was randomly break into her house... she wouldn't have been as scared. It almost seemed like he knew she lived there--"

"You watch too much Lifetime, Sweetheart--"

"This has nothing to do with Lifetime--"

"She's safe and sound. At home. With us. Mom and Pop! C'mon, at least you know why she's so upset."

"Something just doesn't seem right," Holly insisted, her eyes dark with worry.

"Have you seen any creepy men hanging around our house?"

"No, but--"

"Any suspicious phone calls? Heavy panting? Grunts and groans?"

"No, but that doesn't mean--"

"The only man sniffing around Stace is Nick."

"Fine, I'm just crazy, then," Holly grunted, standing up. She walked over to the bookcase, arms crossed over her chest as she gazed at the pictures that adorned the shelves.

"Honey, you're not crazy," AJ groaned, swinging the chair so he could face her without standing. "You're just overprotective."

"I have every right to be! Alex, something else happened to her in Philadelphia. I don't know what, but it set this guy off and if he can find her house, he can find out where she ran to--"

"Sweetheart, he's obviously still in Philly terrorizing the rest of the population. And we don't know for sure that this is Stace--"

"Did you read the whole article? The women who are being attacked?"

"That they're all the same type--"

"Stacia's type."

"They didn't even say what the type was--"

"Right here," Holly walked over and scrolled down to the bottom. She highlighted a paragraph.

"Blonde describes every woman--"

"They're the same height, around the same weight and similar chest size."

"Stace has got a huge rack--"

"And so do these women! Fake or natural."

"Stace is all natural. I walked in on her when she was showering--" Catching his lover's blistering glare, AJ held his breath and shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "I love you, Sweetums?"

"You think I'm just being stupid and paranoid," Holly seethed, walking back over to the bookshelf. She found one of her favorite photos of Stacia and grasped it. The woman looked so happy and carefree... a mere shell of what was sleeping in the guestroom.

"I don't think you're stupid and paranoid," AJ groaned, forcing himself out of the seat. Shuffling in the dimly lit study, he stood behind his lover and loosely wrapped his arms about her waist. Tucking his chin to her shoulder, he admired the photograph that she had selected from the bunch. It was the first time Stacia had visited California and stepped onto AJ's private beach. She had wasted no time rushing into the waves and was knocked over by a huge one. Holly had feared she was drowning, but Stacia popped up laughing hysterically. Splashing water towards them, the perfect picture had been taken. So carefree and in love. A beautiful smile enhancing the loveliness of her face. The emeralds of her eyes glittering impishly. "Where is that girl?"

"I don't know... she's not sleeping in the guestroom... something happened, Alex. It changed her," Holly whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks as her fingertips brushed over the glass protecting the photo.

"I'll throw her into the ocean tomorrow. It'll liven her up," AJ attempted to tease, lifting his arms from her waist to gently rub her shoulders. "I hate seeing you so upset, Baby."

"I just want the old Staci back."

"Well, griping on her all the time ain't going to get her back. You've got to give her some time."

"But--"

"I'm not saying leave her alone, but just don't jump down her throat--"

"Alex--"

"Baby, promise me."

"I..." she looked up and their eyes connected. "Okay. I promise."

"Good," AJ answered with a grin, leaning down to brush his lips across hers. "Come to bed."

"What do I get out of it?" Holly teased, pushing back her fears for a moment.

"A handsome man laying beside you--"

"If you lay down, lay down beside me... you can get all inside me and I can get all inside you, too..." Holly sang softly with a smirk.

"Baby, if you get inside me--"

Still smirking, Holly jumped into his arms, wrapping her long legs around his waist and crushing her lips against his. "You talk too much."

Slumping into the empty but overly cushioned sofa, Brian plopped his container of take-out onto the coffee table. Nothing inside the box looked appealing to his pallat. Instead, he could only feel a tremendous upset within his body as he recalled the most fight with Leighanne. She had finally returned home from her latest project but had yet to spend any time with Baylee. Brian had hoped she would do so today while he worked in the studio with his band-mates. But she couldn't afford to be a mother that day. Instead, she forced him to find other means of child care. Frantically, he called his cousin and explained the situation. Kevin and Kristin adored Baylee and promised to come pick the child up, but he still hated it. Leighanne should have wanted to spend time with Baylee. And shouldn't have reacted by throwing a sharp slap in his face when he suggested so.

Sighing heavily, he rubbed his face, careful to not touch his tender cheek. He just prayed it wouldn't leave a mark the guys would notice. The lies he would come up were starting to get thin and he knew half of the time, they didn't believe him. Leaning back against the couch, he closed his eyes for a moment, wondering how he could let himself get to a point like this in life.

Seven years ago, he swore that he was making the right choice. Leighanne had been so adamant about being married, demanding that they hurry the proceedings though it still remained an extravagant affair. He had thought she had been so in love that she needed him desperately. Now, he figured that it had just been because she felt the threat of Stacia looming... Sweet Stacia... He still couldn't erase the memory of stealing frantic kisses and fondlings in the dressing room. He had wanted her so badly. If she hadn't whispered his name, he was sure that he would have had her then.

But his conscience had taken over and he pulled away from her, explaining that he couldn't and walked out, leaving her standing there with kiss swollen lips and rustled curls. He didn't want to leave, but he had to.

He loved her too much to stay. Or, at least, that was his reason for leaving. He hadn't wanted to drag her into some ugly affair, knowing Leighanne's temper. The thought of his wife potentially harming Stacia for fudging her perfect lifestyle was dreadful. It had actually kept him up most of the night, fearing Leighanne could smell the sweet scent of roses that lingered whenever he held Stacia. She was still too young. He couldn't have her hurt on his own lustful account.

"God, someone tell me what I should do," Brian groaned as he heard the front door open and slam closed.

"Do about what?" Nick called with confusion, entering the lounge area with a somewhat large cardboard pizza box. Dropping it onto the coffee table, he dropped to his knees and wasted no time throwing open the lid and digging out a cheesy slice.

"This leftover Chinese food," Brian lied, sitting up to see the younger man stuff his face with the greasy food.

"I'm sure AJ will cram it down his throat when he comes in. Had to get a quick nooner in with Holly beforehand," Nick explained with a devilish grin, wiping his greasy fingers on his jean-clad thighs.

"I didn't need to know that," Brian rolled his eyes, throwing Nick a napkin. "You wipe your fingers on those, not your jeans. And you wonder why you have to constantly buy new ones."

"You mean why you constantly bitch at me to buy new ones. I like them like this just fine," Nick answered with a snort, though he obliged the man by wiping his fingers cleaned. Nothing could possibly ruin his mood.

"I'm not the only one who does," Brian looked at the pizza, his stomach clenching with nausea. He never ate when Leighanne was home.

"I never listen to Howie anyway," Nick muttered with a causal shrug of his shoulders, taking another large bite of pizza.

"That's why he started meditation," Brian scoffed, watching him eat slice after slice. "What's got you in such a good mood, anyway?"

"Life is just fucking fantastic, B," Nick announced with another overly satisfied grin, stuffing a piece of crust into his mouth. "I got a date with a gorgeous woman."

"It isn't another fan, is it? The last time that happened, she--"

"Fuck the fans," Nick snorted, though he laughed after a moment of realization. "Well, y'know what I mean--"

"Who is it?"

"Staci--"

"Our Staci?"

"Do we know any others?"

"I thought you two were just friends..." Brian trailed off, placing a hand over his chest where he could feel his heart actually break. He thought Nick understood the boundaries when it came to Stacia.

"I've been trying to get away from friendship ever since I met the girl," Nick snorted, shifting so he could offer Brian a slice of pizza. When the older man venhemently shook his head, he shrugged and took another quick bite. "She's gorgeous and she hasn't dated anyone since you turned her down. J mentioned she's been in a funk since she got here, so I called. I invited her out and she said that it'd be awesome. I think I'll teach her to surf."

"Oh. Hope you have fun."

"Don't sound so happy for us, you might pop," Nick muttered dryly, quirking his brows with annoyance toward his best friend. He would have thought Brian would show some type of enthusiasm for the pair. He had always complained about Stacia being lonely in Philidelphia. Well, now that she was with them, she had a chance to develop a relationship with Nick.

"It's been a long day, Nick."

"Long day? It's only noon--"

"I had a late night--"

"I thought you and Leighanne didn't have sex anymore?"

"Not everything has to do with sex, asshole."

"Hopefully tomorrow everything will have to do with sex--"

"I really don't need to hear that."

"What is up your ass?"

"Nothing, okay? I told you I had a long day," Brian snapped. He stood up and grabbed the take-out box, heading into the kitchen to throw it away.

"Obviously something is stuck up your ass," Nick countered, pushing himself off the floor to follow his friend into the kitchen. They had to be back at the studio in an hour and Brian's house was closest. So, all the men had traveled to their favorite take-out places and would eventually return to Brian's house. It was the first time that Brian offered to even let the others into his house. Now, Nick wasn't even sure that he wanted to be there. "I mention having a date with Staci and you go postal--"

"I'm going postal? Did you ever think it might be weird for me? Two of my best friends dating each other?" Brian turned from the wastebasket, his eyes swirling almost sapphire from their normal cerulean.

"You were friends with Holly before she started dating AJ. And I remember you actually doing a fucking dance of glee when they were getting ready for their first date. So what's the fucking difference?" Nick snorted, crossing his arms over his chest with an indignant glare.

"Why do you always get on my fucking back? You never leave anything alone!"

"You're the one who's bitching at me first!"

"I didn't bitch at you!"

"You just bitched at me about dating your best friend!"

"Because you have a knack of breaking women's hearts, asshole!"

"Well you didn't do such a fucking good job with her heart in the first place, did you? Dickhead!"

"I'm the dickhead?! YOU'RE THE ONE GOING OUT WITH STACIA!" Brian nearly screamed, tears springing to his eyes as he gave Nick a hard push.

Falling back into the nearby kitchen chair, Nick made an usual grunting noise when the chair gave way and caused him to topple to the ground. It sounded as if something inside him had shattered and he immediately scrambled to his feet despite the twinge of pain. Suddenly it seemed to make perfect sense and he sneered with disgust. "You're fucking upset because she's not sprung on you anymore. God, I thought you were a decent guy, but you're pissed because she's not available to you anymore. That she actually wants to have a normal life and date a guy!"

"You know what, Nick? You can fucking go to Hell for all I care. None of the fellas would do this to me. All you think about is yourself and what you can get out of life, no matter who you hurt," Brian balled his hands into fists as the front door opened and closed.

"You're married, Brian. It doesn't matter what I do with Staci, because you can't have her. You're the fucking idiot that decided to marry a bitch instead of a beauty--"

"FUCK YOU!" Brian launched himself at the younger man. They toppled to the floor and Brian found himself pummeling Nick's body with a fury he had never felt. Nick knew how he felt about Stacia, and still decided to persue her.

Hearing the loud clatter of items crashing within the kitchen, AJ hurriedly dropped his container of food to the coffee table and moved through the house. He first thought of Leighanne attacking Brian, but was shocked to see that Brian was delivering the deathly blows. Cursing in exasperation, he grabbed the collar of the older man's shirt and tugged as hard as he possibly could. Yet, Brian continued to maul Nick like some enraged beast. "Damnit, Brian! Stop!"

"He fucking crossed the line! He knows how I fucking feel and he still did it! You fucking asshole!" Brian raved, his fists flying, wanting to hit Nick wherever he could reach.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" AJ grunted, looping his arms around Brian and pinning his arms above his head. There was a struggle to assert some kind of dominance over the rage, but Nick still managed to crawl away.

"He's dating Staci! He fucking waltzed into my fucking house and started bragging about it like she was some kind of fucking conquest!" Brian tried to lunge towards Nick again, but the hold AJ put him in made it impossible.

"I didn't say she was a fucking conquest," Nick snarled, wiping the blood from his mouth that had pooled. Spitting out the rest into the nearby sink, he slumped over the edge of the counter. His entire body screamed from the beating, but he wouldn't give Brian the satisfaction of knowing. "I told him I had a date. He asked who. I said it was Staci. And the fucker flips!"

"YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER!"

"You're fucking married! Nothing would happen between you two!"

"But you fucking know--"

"That you two are best friends!"

"You know there's more than that, asshole! You always go after what someone else wants!"

"You can't have her!"

"So that means you can?!"

"Damn right--"

"Would you please go into the other fucking room before I let him go?" AJ growled, finding his muscles pulling sharply when Brian struggled against him once more. He was losing control of the entire situation. Not to mention he was baffled in general. Why would Stacia have even agreed to date the man?

"Fucking psycho," Nick muttered, grabbing some paper towels before leaving the kitchen.

"If I let you go, do you promise not to go rushing after him?" AJ demanded of Brian, hearing the front door slam.

"He deser--"

"Kicking his ass will not make you feel better."

"Oh yes--"

"Brian, we're too old for this shit. Just calm down, okay?"

"The Hell we're too old for this shit--"

"Jesus Christ, B, I'm too old for this shit! And have you thought that maybe he's just busting your nuts? That they're just going to hang out or some shit?"

"All the more reason to kick the shit out of him," Brian growled, fighting back tears that were threatening to fall.

Holding his breath, AJ watched Brian collapse into the kitchen nook that was scattered with crayons and coloring pages. In one swift movement, all the items went crashing to the floor. It wasn't as dramatic as if the items would have been breakable, but still proved the point. "B..."

"He could have any woman out there! Why did he have to go after Staci? He fucking knows..." Brian's elbows were on the table, his face buried into his bruised hands.

"Staci's a good woman..."

"I never said she wasn't," he snapped. "But he knows how I feel about her!"

"...And how do you feel about her?"

"You already know--"

"Tell me."

"I... I love her. She's so beautiful. The way her eyes sparkle like she has a secret. Her impish, carefree attitude. I love everything about her... and then Nick swoops down on her like a diseased vulture--"

"You could tell her that you love her--"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I can't!" Brian growled, throwing another hard fist onto the table for emphasis. Every time he looked to her, he knew the words were on his tongue. He worked so hard to keep them buried inside, knowing the devasation it would cause if he spoke otherwise.

"Baylee loves her more like a mother than his own egg-donor. I don't understand--"

"You're right. You don't understand what could occur if I told her how I felt. None of you know what Leighanne is capable of and I'll be damned if I let anything happen to Staci because of it."

"What the Hell could Leighanne possibly do to Staci?"

"Just trust me--"

"I'd rather know--"

"I can't... you wouldn't believe me."

"This is me you're talking to, B!" AJ stressed with annoyance, slipping into the booth and throwing his hands onto the table. He wanted so desperately to grab Brian by the shoulders and furiously shake him. He just needed some straight answers. To sort through all this chaos.

"AJ--"

"Just talk to me!"

"I can't talk about it!"

"Why? B, you're going to go crazy if you don't!"

"Little late for that," Brian muttered, looking down to his hands to see the light splatters of blood. He hadn't been happy for over seven years. So why should telling AJ change anything? Sighing heavily, he forced himself out of the booth. "I'm going to grab a shower before we have to go back to the studio."

"Brian, wait," AJ stood up as well, grasping the older man's arm.

"Just let me take a shower, J."

"Well, Hell, I thought you could at least do the decent thing and invite me to join you," AJ snorted, hoping to get some kind of bashful smile.

But there was nothing left but a miserable man trudging up the stairs.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I could have paid for lunch," Stacia said yet again as she and Holly walked down the expensive streets of Malibu. They had just finished a filling lunch at one of their favorite restaurants and decided to do a little window shopping.

"Yes, but like I've said the past five times, I wanted to buy lunch," Holly rolled her eyes, adjusting her prescription sunglasses on her petite nose. She knew Stacia wasn't used to people providing for her, but she had insisted to the point of taking away Stacia's purse so she couldn't pay the bill.

"I just wanted to make my point known," Stacia stressed, tucking her fingers into the back pockets of her jeans while they strolled. She glanced to the various window shops, noting all the expensive fabrics and patterns. But she kept a close watch on the men that walked past. Each man that got close to her, she made sure to get closer to Holly. The thought of another man's hot breath upon her body sent shivers of disgust racing through her.

"Your point is known," Holly reassured, reaching out to rub Stacia's back with a smile.

"But it just don't mean a damn thing," Stacia decided with a rueful grin, tucking an arm around Holly's shoulder. Pulling the older woman close, she rested her head against Holly's shoulder. Perhaps she could give the illusion of being something that she wasn't. Since the attack, she had never been comfortable on public streets.

"Pretty much," Holly laughed, looping her arm around Stacia's waist. She kissed her forehead as they continued to walk down the street. "If you see anything you like, we'll stop, okay?"

"These streets are far too rich for my blood, Sweetheart," Stacia mused.

"Who said anything about you buying it?"

"Hollywood--"

"You have no purse--"

"Because you stuffed it in the trunk of your car. And it ain't like I don't carry my check card in my pocket--"

"Will you just let me spoil you for once? I don't get to see you that often," Holly complained with a pout.

"I don't need spoiled--"

"But I want to!"

"How old are you again?"

"Older than you, Child!"

"Honestly..." Stacia groaned, jerking slightly when a vibration caught her backside. Immediately plucking the cell phone from her back pocket, she flipped it open to reveal a quick text message from Nick. Smiling sweetly, she hurriedly typed in a reply and tucked the phone away once more. Him calling to ask for a date earlier that morning had been quite the shock. But, after having her conversation with Holly the other night, she decided it was in her best interest.

"Who was that?"

"Nick," Stacia answered softly, taking a large step out into the street when a man approached her.

"What did he want?" Holly raised an eyebrow, grasping Stacia's arm. "You aiming to get hit by a car or something?"

"I just needed some space. No matter how long I've lived in a big city, I still get claustrophic," Stacia explained, looking over her shoulder to see the man's puzzled gaze.

"Okay... what did Nick want?"

"He just wanted to say hello."

"Nick never texts to just say hello. Especially to you--"

"What the Hell does that mean?"

"Oh come on, we all know he's had a hard-on for you since--"

"Since when?"

"Since we came into their lives! And don't tell me you never noticed."

"I'm sure I would have noticed if the boy was packing an erection in his jeans--"

"It wasn't something you could see, Stace! The way he flirted with you, how he always tried to put a hand on your shoulder or an arm around your waist... you had to have noticed that."

"Of course I've noticed how he flirts. I love the way he flirts."

"Good God, why? It's Nick!"

"You have had a grudge against that poor man ever since he put green dye in your favorite shampoo," Stacia chided with a small smile. "He's a good guy when you get to know him."

"That dye didn't come out of my hair for weeks!"

"We're going out tomorrow."

"I looked like Jolly Green Giant's wife-- you're WHAT?! Are you crazy?!"

"You act like I said I was going to spend the day with Jack the Ripper. Holy shit, Holly, it's just Nick. We're planning on spending the day at the beach. He's going to teach me how to surf."

"Well Jesus, you said going out! You made it sound like a date or something--"

"Holly, it is a date."

"But you just said--"

"It's a casual date at the beach."

"Stacia Grace! That is Brian's best friend!"

"I know," Stacia answered carefully, stopping to gaze at an ecclectic window shop. Brightly colored sarong wraps were draped over worn jeans. She didn't concentrate too hard on the clothing, however, too worried about her friend's reaction. Nick had just been so eager to plan a date for them. Brian had never sounded like that. So, she decided to accept. No matter what that meant.

"You know and yet you still agreed to it? For God sakes, why?" Holly demanded, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched Stacia avoid her eyes.

"Because Nick actually wanted me."

"Nick is nothing but a damn heartbreaker! Have you ever seen him date a woman longer than a week?"

"I know," Stacia assured, catching Holly's reflection within the glass. "But I'm not looking to marry the man. I just want to have fun. For once."

"You're playing with fire."

"What fire?"

"Nick. He's intense--"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He gets caught up in the moment. Especially with how bad he has it for you. I don't want anything to happen to you!"

"Nick wouldn't even think about hurting me--"

"The Hell he wouldn't--"

"It's a little late anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been hurt a lot in my life, Holly," Stacia answered vaguely, gesturing toward the vibrant purple, blue, and green colored sarong. "I really like that."

"Stace, I just don't think going out with Nick is a good idea," Holly almost pleaded.

"Because of Brian?"

"He's not the only reason. Nick is going to get the wrong idea--"

"If Nick is so interested in a fling, then why would he take it wrong?"

"Because I know you aren't into flings."

"Maybe I need a fling--"

"Oh, don't try bullshitting me and yourself. You don't like flings."

"You are stressing me out," Stacia groaned, taking a seat on the boardwalk that they had happened upon. Kicking off her flip-flops, she ran her fingers furiously through her long honey locks. "It's just a day at the beach. Having fun. No drama."

"You're the one stressing me out. Is it a date or not?" Holly retorted, sitting down next to her.

"It's a date--"

"Staci--"

"But not a serious date!"

"But it's still a date?"

"Yes, a date--"

"You're going to be the death of me..." Holly sighed, taking off her sunglasses for a moment. "I'm not going to get on your case on this, but please be careful. Nick can be pretty selfish when it comes to dating."

"I'll be careful," Stacia promised, feeling Holly give a quick squeeze of her thigh. There was a passing murmur of hunger and Holly excused herself to buy them ice cream. Leaning back on the bench, she concentrated on the vast ocean line, fascinated by the rolling waves. But another vibration caught her attention and she pulled out her phone to hear Brian's soft voice. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be in the studio?"

"We're taking a little break. How's the Holly/Staci day going?"

"It's lots of talking... And more talking... And... I think I'm getting an ulcer from the way she grinds into me."

"She just worries about you. Not many friends care as much as Hollister does."

"I know..."

"So, I heard you and Nick planned a day on the beach," Brian tried to sound nonchalant.

"Yeah, I mentioned that I've visited you guys so many times and have been to the beach, but I never learned how to surf. He told me that he'd give up a day to teach me. How could I resist?"

"He's a good teacher. You'll be a pro in no time," Brian forced a chuckle against his lips as he kept an ice pack against his bruised right hand.

"You're upset..." Stacia murmured softly, keeping a trained eye on Holly's location amongst the mass of people. She also made sure to watch her surroundings and the men that could potentialy creep upon her.

"Me? Upset?"

"You're not a good liar, Bri-Bear."

"Staci-Gracie..."

"Your voice sounds so sad..."

"Life hasn't been the greatest to me these past few years."

"Yeah..." Stacia trailed softly. "Life hasn't been fantastic for me these past couple weeks."

"What happened in Philadelphia? It's like you lost the spark I always see when you come visit."

"The spark's there, I just need a new bulb," Stacia teased softly, though she knew the passion had died within her. The man cloaked in the night's shadows had robbed her of that spark. "...Why don't you come over tonight? Bring Baylee... I can snuggle between you on the couch with a huge blanket... I'd like that so much..."

"Yeah?" Brian found himself smiling softly. They always had so much fun with Baylee in the large blanket, which usually ended up in tickles and hot chocolate.

"Bring over a couple Disney movies... Well, if you want to--"

"I would love to. Leighanne's gone for God knows how long, and Scooper's been asking to see you again."

"So, you'll come?"

"Name the time and we'll be there with bells on."

"Bells?"

"I guess we'll have to save those for Christmas..."

"I love you so much, Brian..."

"I love you too, Staci-Gracie. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"As long as you promise that you're not mad at me," Stacia murmured softly, noticing a few girls surrounding Holly as she picked up her ice cream. There was a small squeal followed by laughter and Stacia realized that Holly had been recognized. She was always getting compliments from a variety of strangers, whether it be her sweetness in dating a beloved Backstreet Boy or her illustrious career.

"I could never be mad at you," Brian replied with such sincerity that it almost brought tears to Stacia's eyes.

"Even when I'm the sleaze that agreed to go out with Nick?" she continued, covering her eys with her free hnd when she noticed some of the girls surrounding Holly point toward Stacia. It seemed that when she was visiting her friends, she was constantly recognized as well. Brian talked about her frequently and always dedicated each album to her.

"Why would I call you a sleaze? Stace, you're anything but that--"

"But you don't want me going out with him."

"It's... It'll be weird having my best friends going out... But... Hey, whatever you want, Sweetheart... If he's what you want..."

"Bear--"

"I don't mean to interrupt you, Babe, but I got to get back in the studio. Howie will have a heart attack if I'm not back in time. I swear, he's the Kevin incarnate," Brian tried to joke.

Stacia released a soft sigh of frustration, knowing that he wanted to escape. He'd say anything to get away. "Yeah... Have a good session, okay?"

"We will. I'll call you when we're done to set up the movie time."

"Alright. Bye, Brian."

"See you soon, Staci-Gracie."

Flipping her cell phone closed, she leaned forward with every intention of slipping her phone back into her pocket. Only, a mint green colored ice cream cone was pushed into her face. Groaning when her nose dipped into the ice cream, she immediately rubbed her face. A few of the fans trailing Holly in hopes to meet Stacia laughed and Stacia sneezed immediately. "Thanks, Hol!"

"You're welcome!" Holly grinned, taking a lick of her strawberry ice cream. "I made some new friends."

"I noticed," Stacia murmured, watching her friend immediately plop onto the bench beside her. It always raised Holly's spirits to hear the praise of fans, knowing that they approved of her relationship with AJ. The two were miracurously perfect for one another. As cheesy and cliche as it sounded. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to finally meet the woman we hear Brian rave about whenever they have an interview," A young woman bubbled with a warm smile as her friends nodded enthusiastically.

"Guilty as charged," Stacia answered meekly, taking a quick rub of a napkin over her face. She then reached out to shake each of the girl's hands. She had never been one to enjoy the social spotlight, yet her friends had thrust it upon her. "Though I'm not sure he raves..."

"Are you kidding? You're all he talks about! It's so cute," another woman disagreed.

"Baylee gets his fair share of attention," Stacia insisted with a small smile, wishing she had heard the interviews of which they spoke.

"Okay, two things: Staci and Baylee. You should see his face light up when he talks about you."

"He has that adorable goofy grin on his face that you always make him do when you take a picture," Holly explained, hoping it would egg Stacia on. Something needed to happen between the two. Anything.

"I love that smile," Stacia sighed.

"I think you and Brian would be great together."

"Oh, definitely!"

"Yeah!" the three fans began talking excitedly, making Stacia's head spin as Holly chuckled.

"We're just good friends," Stacia explained, throwing a somewhat light kick to her friend's leg to stop her instigating. "C'mon, Leighanne's good for him..."

The girls stopped rambling and glanced at Stacia in shock.

"Are you CRAZY?!"

"Apparently..." Stacia answered, leaning back in surprise.

"Sorry," the oldest girl apologized. "We didn't mean it like that. It's just... when we had heard Brian was going to marry Leighanne, we thought it was a joke. She hated going on tour with him and when fans tried to talk to her, she blew them off. I was at a concert, and she brought a girl to tears. All she had wanted was to have Leighanne give Brian a stuffed basketball and teddy bear."

"The poor girl," Stacia muttered with annoyance, kicking off her flip-flops and tucking her feet beneath her. She hated that Leighanne had hurt one of Brian's fans, knowing that they meant the world to him. Though, she wasn't much better to Baylee, so she shouldn't expected anything different...

"Brian had found out about it later, and took some pictures with the girl and gave her some gifts. He had felt so bad."

"Brian's a good man."

"Too bad more aren't like him."

"Or AJ."

"Or Howie."

"Hey, don't forget Nick and Kevin!"

"I'm sure they'd appreciate the flattery," Stacia laughed, shooting a bewildered look toward Holly, who simply shrugged with a smile. "I wish they could have been with us today so you could have met them. But they're working hard on the new album."

"Have either of you heard it yet?"

"Sneak peeks," Holly confirmed with a proud smile. "And it's sounding fantastic."

"We can't wait until it comes out. It's been so long since we heard anything from them!"

"They're anxious to get back to you guys as well."

"Well, we've got to get going," one of the girls looked at her watch. "Could we get some pictures and possibly autographs? Please?"

"Yeah, sure," Stacia agreed, taking the small digital camera in one of the girl's hands. "Holly, jump up between them and I'll get the picture."

"Wait, we want pictures with you, too!"

Stacia opened her mouth to argue, but yelped instead when the girls hauled her from the seat. Dropping the ice cream to the boardwalk, she groaned but still slung her arms around the girls' shoulders. "No selling these on Ebay, girls. Even if I'm worth a pretty penny!"

"We wouldn't dream of selling these!" The girls laughed as Holly stopped an older gentlemen to take the pictures.

"Well, the last time I cuddled up to Baylee and Alex took some pictures, I ended up on his MySpace..." Stacia sighed.

"I love that picture though!" one of the girls squealed, jumping up and down with excitement when the pictures were taken. "I swear that you gave birth to him instead of Leighanne."

"He's too cute to be my kid," Stacia assured, scrawling her name beside Holly's signature on scraps of paper. It was odd for her to do this, knowing that her signiture really meant nothing.

"Are you kidding? He looks so much like you!"

"Yeah, Stace, show them the C-Section scar--" Holly teased.

"Not funny," Stacia groaned, searching for her flip-flops. " Though, I'd gladly claim Bay as mine. You guys let Brian know that I want him. Alright?"

"Alright, we will. It was so great meeting you both," the girls enthused as they shook hands and gave hugs. "Tell the boys we can't wait to see them soon!"

Smiling, Stacia waved as the girls raced down the boardwalk squealing and raving over the encounter. And when they disappeared, she immediately frowned and stomped a barefoot onto the boardwalk. "Someone stole my favorite flips! If I see them on Ebay--"

"You are so absent-minded," Holly laughed, holding up Stacia's purple and black flipflops.

"Thanks," Stacia muttered, snatching her flip-flops from her friend's hands. Keeping them in her hands, she hopped off the boardwalk and onto the hot sand. "C'mon."

"How long are you going to pout?" Holly inquiered as they strolled down the boardwalk.

"Pout about what?"

"Your flip-flops."

"I'm not pouting about my flip-flops. I'm taking a walk on the beach."

"That's why your bottom lip is puckered out?"

"Because I'm absolutely adorable."

"Right..."

"As much as you like to think that you can read every single cue I give off, Hol..." Stacia trailed, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, trailing into the lapping surf. The water was cold despite the hot Californian sun beating down upon it. Nothing seemed warm anymore.

"How about you tell me what's going on instead of me guessing all the time?"

"Brian and Baylee are coming to watch movies with me tonight," Stacia announced, glancing to see Holly staying clear of the surf. She knew that her friend was looking for something more substantial, but she wasn't ready. Revealing what had happened in Philadelphia seemed so wrong. By keeping it hidden from others, she could deny that it had ever happened.

"That's nice... but it's not what I'm looking for."

"What are you looking for?"

"The truth?"

"About what?"

"About what happened in Philadelphia. I saw the article you were reading about that stalker--"

"He's not a stalker and I just wanted to check out the news--"

"I read the fine print. How all the girls being attacked have a lot in common with--"

"Every single girl in Philly."

"Every girl in Philly looks like you?"

"Practically every chick in Philly has blonde hair and blue eyes--"

"They have your hair color, hair type, similiar height, weight and same color eyes. They all have a medical background and live in your neighborhood."

"I wasn't attacked."

"Are you telling me the honest to God truth? Because something has faded from your eyes since I last saw you. That sparkle I loved to see... it's gone."

"I just finally grew up, Holly."

"So that means the spark has to die?"

"I guess so."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Staci, if something happened, please tell me--"

"Nothing happened," Stacia stressed with annoyance, just wanting the subject to die.

"You promise?"

"I promise," Stacia insisted, turning toward Holly and forcing herself to meet the older girl's gaze. "My apartment was trashed. I needed a break. I came here. That's it."

"Alright," Holly accepted the promise, pulling Stacia into her arms for a quick hug. "I just hope you find the sparkle that belongs in those beautiful eyes of yours."

"Your kid is out," Stacia announced halfway through the second Disney movie, having turned her attention away from the race-car named Lightning McQueen attempting to woo Sally the Porshe. Instead, she watched how content Baylee was, sprawled out on her stomach with his head resting over her chest. He had tucked his hands beneath his stomach to provide them warmth and one leg dangled off the couch. He snored lightly because of a cold stirring within him. He couldn't have been more charming. So, she played with his flaxen curls and looked up to Brian, having rested her head in his lap so she and Baylee could lay over the entire couch.

"He can never stay awake for the full movie," Brian chuckled, looking down at the adorable sight. He loved watching Stacia interact with his son. It was like watching a life that could have been.

"Give the boy some credit, he made it through Bambi," Stacia scorned with a small smile, allowing Baylee to curl closer against her before she fixed the blanket around them. "Besides, when you've got nice perky boobs to use as pillows... Sometimes it's just easier to sleep..."

"Don't I know it--"

"And here I thought Leighanne's were hard as plastic given the silicone--"

"Not hers," Brian groaned with a roll of his eyes.

"Does Mr. Bible Boy have a mistress?" Stacia exclaimed quietly. Her emerald eyes widening in playful shock at the revelation. As if the man were too pure to be lustful.

"I'm not as innocent as everyone thinks and I have you to thank for that."

"Did I tarnish your pure soul?" Stacia questioned with a small pout.

"Maybe. But it's something I wanted," Brian had to smile, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"I'll be sure to frump myself before ever coming into your presence ever again," Stacia vowed.

"Oh, you better not!"

Stacia laughed at his disgust. "Why?"

"Because I like you just the way you are."

"That is so cliche, Littrell."

"But it's the truth--"

"You are such a boob-man."

"I am not!"

"You are so a boob-man."

"Stacia--"

"Like father like son."

"I am not that shallow, and Baylee's too young to--"

"I just said that I was going to wear baggier t-shirts and sweatpants when you were around and you had a damn coronary--"

"Excuse me. Before this turns into bloodshed, I think it might be better if I put Baylee in the guestroom," Holly announced, padding her way to the living room with a raised eyebrow.

"There's no chance of bloodshed. I'd face rabid fans if I busted his pretty little face," Stacia cooed, reaching up to catch his face within one of her hands. Giving a firm squeeze, she contorted his face by smushing his cheeks together and causing his lips to pucker. She grinned when he whined and batted at her hands, simply relinquishing Baylee though she loved having the little boy nestled over her. He would be more comfortable upstairs in bed.

"Yeah, I've seen rabid fans... not a pretty picture," Holly made a face as she cuddled Baylee close, remembering when she and Stacia joined the boys on their one-hundred hour tour for Black and Blue. The fans in South America were not as calm as fans from other countries.

"I've also seen how dazed Brian gets when a girl flashes him... Almost knocks his ass off a double-decker bus, huh Sweetums?" Stacia cooed toward the man, adoring the crimson blush coloring his cheeks.

"It would surprise you, too," Brian muttered.

"That's 'cause her nipples were pointing east and west," Stacia mused, standing from the couch to kiss Baylee good-night. Through the shifting, he had whined slightly and peeked his eyes open to find Stacia. When she pressed a warm kiss to his forehead, he smiled softly and drifted back into a content slumber. Brushing a few stray flaxen curls from his face, she thanked Holly for getting him.

"Don't worry about it. He'll be right next door to Alex and I, so we'll take care of him if he wakes up," Holly smiled, rubbing the child's back.

"Great, so Brian and I can really concentrate on that hardcore sex'ing that we've been talking about."

"Whatever floats your boat," Holly chuckled as Brian's cheeks almost resembled tomatoes. "Goodnight, kids."

"Night, Mother," Stacia crooned with a wave, leaning up on her tip-toes to watch Holly exit the large movie theatre that AJ had created specifically for his home. Satisfied that they were alone, she flopped back onto the couch and rested her head on his lap once more. "Are you leaving again now that your kid is asleep?"

"I'll stay if you want me to," Brian began to run his fingers through her loose curls.

"Of course I want you to stay. This is the first time that we've really spent any time together since I came," Stacia explained, stretching languidly like a sleek feline who had just rose from a sun-bath.

"I know. I missed these times with you," Brian smiled, just watching her. Everything she did was beautiful.

"I've just missed you in general," Stacia murmured, relaxing against him once more. Sticking her feet over the end of the plush couch, she then worked with one foot to remove the sock on the opposite foot. It took some time to rid herself of the item, but she grinned when she finished and hurriedly started on the other foot.

"You're easily amused..." Brian trailed with a click of his tongue. "Or maybe I'm confusing it with laziness..."

"It might be a bit of both..."

"Ooh, good point," he chuckled as she wiggled her bare toes.

"I love nothing better than to be barefoot," Stacia decided, stretching once more over the couch before settling completely against him. She was unaware of how her boxers had ridden upward on her thighs or the way her t-shirt hiked up reveal a bare waist. Instead, she allowed her eyes to drift closed. Comfortable. For once.

"Yeah," It seemed like the only thing Brian could say as he watched her. She almost seemed at peace, like she had been the last time she came to Malibu.

"It's funny... When I'm with you... Everything else just seems to disappear. It doesn't matter what happened in Philly. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen when I go back. I'm just... I'm with you... And I'm okay..."

"I feel the same way when I'm with you," Brian whispered, returning his fingers into her curls and occasionally over her smooth forehead.

"And I don't have to put on some mask or be afraid of someone digging into me to find my secrets," Stacia continued to explain, tilting her head back when she felt his fingers run down the elegant slope of her nose, his thumb brushing over the fullness of her lips.

"I know... they care about us, but sometimes I just want to leave the secrets buried. Don't you?"

"Makes it easier to forget the pain," she agreed, pressing a small kiss to the pad of his thumb before his fingers moved over her jaw and down to her throat.

"Yeah. Being with you makes the pain go away," Brian's fingers trailed and stopped right above the beginning of her cleavage before going back up to her throat and jawline.

"Just think what might happen if you stayed the night," Stacia murmured, gasping sharply when his fingers made the delicate trail over her chest once more. He dipped slightly into the crevice of her swelled breaths and her sharp breath caused her chest to rise to his fingers. She could feel his entire body tense beneath her, but she said nothing more.

"What would happen if I spent the night?" Brian continued to entice her.

"Something you would probably regret in the morning," Stacia whispered, feeling her breath catch painful when his fingers slipped from the material of her t-shirt to the soft satin of her delicate bra.

"What if it's something that's meant to happen?" Brian bit his bottom lip, feeling her skin heat against his nimble fingertips.

"You say that now..." Stacia trailed, arching up when his fingers dipped further, caressing the soft flesh of her breasts. Her entire body seemed to awaken beneath his tongue. A flame licked at the center of her core and the familiar ache of wanting began to stir. She needed him so badly. To forget what had happened, she was willing to break something sacred. She had promised herself so many times not to allow herself the chance to tempt Brian to break his vows, knowing what they had meant. But it was too late. Just a moment to forget. She could live with the regret if she had him for a night.

"And I would say it in the morning," Brian promised, feeling his body heat up with all the thoughts of what he wanted to do to her throughout the night.

"But would you regret it?" Stacia asked, arching once more when his hand glided over her stomach, carressing each inch of skin that he happened upon while his other hand gently cupped one firm breast.

"With you? Never."

"But--" Biting down hard on her bottom lip to muffle a squeal when Brian hauled her upward, she found herself surrendering to his advances. Straddling his lap, she could feel the hardness of his erection growing beneath her. His lips found their way to her neck, sucks and nibbles alternating to a point where she felt a rush of goose-bumps prickle underneath her skin. Her breath seemed to be permanently caught within her lungs, knowing there was no way to resist him. But, in an attempt to prove her point, she wrenched his left hand from her breast and tightened her fingers on the expensive wedding band. "Brian--"

"I could NEVER regret doing anything with you," Brian's light blue eyes connected with her dazzling emerald eyes. "Never."

"Brian..." Stacia felt her heart actually clench painfully when he pulled his hand free, allowing the wedding band to slip from his finger. It was the first time he had ever removed the wedding band. It had been such a harsh reality when she saw his left hand, knowing that he belonged to someone else. Yet, watching him throw the band over his shoulder as if it were nothing, she wasn't relieved either. Instead, she felt somewhat assaulted when he pulled on her t-shirt to reveal her shoulders, stretching out the collar. His tongue moved over her collar bone in slow, sensual strokes and she felt herself falling once more. "Oh, God..."

"I love you so much, Staci-Gracie... let me love you the way I've dreamed of," Brian whispered against her skin.

"Right here on the couch, huh?" she asked, attempting to bring humor to the situation though she trembled when he removed her t-shirt and started to kiss the skin over her heart.

"Do you want to move into the other guestroom?" he looked up at her with such concern that it almost made her soul ache.

"Bear..." she trailed, offering a small nod though she could hardly see him through the blur of tears. He gently pressed a kiss to her forehead and swept her into his arms. She was cradled against him so protectively while he moved toward the guestroom that had always been designated her bedroom. In fact, AJ and Holly had specifically designed it for her. So, when he laid her upon the plush bed, she didn't feel like a stranger entering another world.

"God, this feels so right," he whispered as he gently covered her body with his.

"Us being together has always felt right to me," she murmured into his ear, lifting herself up so he could shed the rest of her clothing. For once, she wasn't self-conscious about the bruises and cuts littering her body. Instead, she could only concentrate on the way his fingers delicately brushed over her inner thighs, priming her for their moment together. Kissing the side of his face, she coaxed his lips to her, quick to meet his tongue in several quick, sensual strokes. He moaned into her mouth and she knew there would be no turning back.

When he nipped excitedly at her bottom lip, Stacia pulled away momentarily to pull his t-shirt off. Tossing it toward the end of the bed, she leaned forward to press soft kisses along the familiar scar down the center of his chest. Most fans had thought that Brian underwent heart surgery because Leighanne refused to marry him unless he do so. But he had really went under the knife when Stacia had truly broke down at the thought of him dying. She had been so beautiful. She had truly cared for his well being. Even now she took great care in exploring his body. Her lips moved over him in ways that he never thought possible. Her hands then worked to remove his jeans, but she immediately hesitated when a shrill ring from his back pocket shattered the lust-driven atmosphere.

"Brian--"

"They can leave a message," Brian tried to kiss her again but she placed a delicate hand on his chest to prevent him.

"It might be an emergency."

"How could it possibly be an emergency? Scooper is here--"

"Then don't answer it," Stacia squealed when his hand dipped between her legs to coax her into a more pleasurable position. Allowing him to kick off his jeans, she laid back and he covered her once more. The heat of their bodies was electric, but the phone continued to cry. It seemed Brian was doing his best to focus, so close to entering her threshold when he pulled away with a sharp curse.

"Someone better be dying," Brian swore as he flipped open his phone. "Hello?"

"Where the Hell are you?" Leighanne sharply demanded, not bothering for the formalities of a simple hello. Her voice was cold and demanding. She seemed annoyed that she even had to bother calling her husband.

"I told you that we were staying at Holly and AJ's for the night but you were too damn busy to listen. Like always," Brian snapped.

"Is she there?" Leighanne demanded, referring to Stacia as if she were a creature instead of a person. She had always loathed the young woman, though no one seemed surprised by that fact.

"You know, I don't ask if Raul is with you, so why do you have to fucking quiz me if Staci is around?"

"Don't start acting like a man now, Brian. It's a little late."

"And don't start acting like a jealous wife. It's a little late for that."

"There's no reason for me to be jealous of that whore... I just find it amusing that you're actually having an affair with something so cheap..."

"That's so funny coming from someone with whore-ish tendencies such as yourself, Leighanne. You haven't been faithful since the day we started dating."

"Yet you still married me."

"A mistake I wish everyday that I hadn't made. At least Baylee would have a good mother compared to you."

"Surely you're not comparing me to her."

"I compare you to her all the time," Brian could almost hear her growl and he had to smirk. "What's wrong? Can't stand the fact that Stacia is ten times better than you'll ever be?"

"And you're so satisfying that I had to insist Raul not come on location with me so you could instead..." Leighanne retorted crisply. "Besides, you haven't done a damn thing with her yet, have you? Too afraid."

"I've done more tonight than I have with you since Scooper was born," Brian snapped, tired of Leighanne and her words. "Why don't you go back to your cabana boy? I'm sure he'll need help trying to figure out what two plus two equals. You can find the answer together and I'll give you a hint; it's between one and four."

"Awe, Sweetheart, you're growing a spine... I'm so proud, really, I am... But just get home, okay?"

"I don't think so. I'm not waking up my son just so you can try and control me--"

"He's half mine and don't try my patience."

"I'm not going to wake him up, Leighanne!"

"Then leave him there!"

"What is so damn important that can't wait until tomorrow?"

"I'm home."

"Like I said, what's so damn important that can't wait until tomorrow?"

"I want you home now, Brian."

"No."

"Brian--"

"I said no!"

"I swear to God, Brian--"

"No! Do you hear me? No! I've been in the damn studio all day and I am crashing here at AJ's. I'll be home sometime tomorrow."

"For your sake, you better hope that I'm not here, Brian."

"Anything else, Leighanne?"

"I really hope your arm is healed from the last fight we had, because you have Hell to pay."

"I've been in Hell since I married you. Good-bye," Brian hung up and turned it off.

Hearing the phone being hurled across her room and breaking against the opposite wall, Stacia winced and carefully stepped out of her private bathroom. She had dressed herself in a baggy t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Leighanne's call had killed her hope of kindling something special with Brian that night. It was just a reminder of the overwhelming presence Leighanne had. No matter what they did that night, he would still be married in the morning. She didn't want to be his permanent affair. She hadn't the strength to be a mistress. Not when she was treated as if she were a whore.

"I'm going to kill her... I swear to God," Brian rubbed his face furiously.

"Are you going home?" Stacia asked quietly, tucking herself into bed while pulling on a thick sweatshirt. She suddenly felt the chill of her world seeping into her bones.

"No," Brian glanced at Stacia and realized what Leighanne had ruined, which seemed to fuel his anger. "Staci-Gracie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have answered--"

"Your wife was calling, you had to answer," Stacia answered causually, though it hurt just the same. Drawing her long blonde curls into a high ponytail, she leaned back amongst the pillows, wondering if life could have possibly turned out differently. If a man hadn't poked his head into the alley, would she even be sitting there at this moment? Feeling dead inside.

"Please don't be upset," Brian crawled over and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head against the fabric that covered her chest.

"I'm not upset," Stacia lied, gently running her fingers through his mussed sandy curls. He seemed to curl closer when she rubbed the back of his neck and she could feel the fine tremors racing through his body. They would just never be. She was tainted anyhow.

"You're not a good liar when you're with me."

"What do you expect me to say, Brian?"

"The truth?"

"We were about to have sex and your wife called. Your wife, Brian. Do you know what that makes me?"

"What that makes you? Staci--"

"A mistress. A whore. A slut. A sk--"

"You're nothing like that!"

"The Hell I'm not. I am no different than the bitches that prowl around hoping to wreck happy homes. Jesus Christ, Brian, I'm a homewrecker. And, as much as I love you, that's never going to change. The only thing I can hope to be with you is a mistress. I can't have you completely, because you'll never get divorced. No matter how much you hate Leighanne, you don't know how to leave her. And it kills me. It's worse being here than in Philly with that bastard--"

"Excuse me? I thought he had just broken into your apartment and you had never seen him before."

"It's not even about that," Stacia insisted, climbing off the bed when Brian pulled away. Stumbling into the hallway, she hurried down the steps toward the movie theatre. Throwing on the lights, she searched for the elegant wedding band.

"Stacia!" Brian ran after her.

Crouching down, she snatched the glistening wedding band from beneath the couch. Only, before she could rise to her feet, Brian's hand snaked around her upper arm and wrenched her upward. She felt her entire body freeze with fear when his eyes settled on the thick cut across her throat. As if he were making sense of the situation, his fingers tightened into the flesh of her arm. Shakily holding up the wedding band, she felt tears gather in her eyes. "Go home to your wife."

"No," he studied the cuts and bruises. Something wasn't right. "What really happened to your neck?"

"It was slashed open by Jack the Ripper," she quipped sarcastically, grabbing his left hand to force the wedding band back to its rightful place.

"Don't," Brian pulled away his hand. "The break-in of your apartment wasn't a coincidence, was it?"

"Go home, Brian," Stacia repeated, her voice waivering painfully.

"Damnit, Staci! Talk to me!"

"Your wife is waiting for you."

"I don't care about her, I care about you and I want to know who did that to your neck!"

"I don't know--"

"And why you have those ugly bruises on your thighs--"

"Go home--"

"I'm not going anywhere. If something happened, tell me."

"I don't want you here," Stacia snapped viciously, pushing him as hard as she possibly could. He stumbled back in surprise and she took her chance to escape. But, Brian had other plans as he grabbed her upper arms and pushed her into the nearby wall. Every memory of the horried attack came flooding back into her body with Brian pressed over her. "Stop touching me!"

"Tell me what happened!"

"Nothing happened! Get the fuck off me!"

"No! Not until you talk to me!"

"I can't breathe!" she gasped, digging her nails painfully into his shoulders in hopes that he would release her. The world seemed to be spinning as if she were on a high speed tilt-a-whirl. She was easily disoriented and a cool sweat soaked her skin. Her skin grew dusky and she gasped sharply for any chance at finding a breath of air. The world was closing in on her. She would be eaten alive.

"Staci!" Brian exclaimed as she fell to her knees, still struggling for air.

"Get away from me," Stacia gasped, vaguely aware of stirrings from upstairs. She pushed weakly against the man, just wanting him to disappear. When he fell back, she hunched over and gagged. She could feel the man's hands winding over her body while he pressed her up against the shabby brick wall. His tongue licking at her skin like a serpant while the sharp blade pressed tight to her throat. He told her she was a lovely woman and she most certainly was his Queen. He would love her for eternity.

"What the Hell is going on here?" AJ questioned in his usual style as he stumbled into the theater with Holly not far behind.

"He raped me, okay? He fucking raped me," Stacia confessed under the pressure of the situation. Her voice came out underneath tight gasps of air. Her vision flooded with a darkness and she wrenched when a hand slid over her shoulder.

"Stace, it's me. It's Holly. You're here in Malibu, far away from that asshole who hurt you," Holly brought Stacia into her arms, rubbing a hand up and down the younger woman's heaving back as she signaled AJ to grab the prescribed medications. "Take deep breaths, you're okay."

"I'm dying," Stacia disagreed, unable to catch a breath as her chest continued to tighten. Wilting to the floor, she groped at her chest, certain that her heart would burst free.

"No, you're not. Sweetie, you have to calm down and let yourself breathe."

"I w-want to die."

"Stacia Grace Lord! Dying is not going to make the fear and the pain go away."

"You don't understand," Stacia insisted, curling into a ball in hopes to expand her chest. She could feel Brian's pale blue eyes burning into her and she twitched under the pressure. She hadn't meant to confess to the pain, but it had been too late. Holding her throat, she rocked herself carefully and felt a sob choke her.

"Then make me understand. Talk to me, Stace-Grace. Please, talk to me," Holly laid down next to her best friend and carefully pulled her into her arms.

"I can't..."

"Sweetheart, please. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you'll feel so much better if you talk about it."

"Holly," AJ interupted softly when he returned with the medication and a large glass of water. Watching his best friend lay helplessly on the floor, he wasn't sure what to do exactly. Handing the items to Brian, he knelt on the floor. "Give her a chance to catch herself."

"Alex--"

"At least let her breathing calm down first. C'mon, Honey, I have your medication and some water."

Feeling AJ move her into a seated position, Stacia said nothing when the pills and glass of water were placed into her hands. Taking the medication, she leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. The sweatshirt and sweatpants were soaked with perspiration. Her chest ached from the panic attack. And she had just confessed what she had fought so hard to forget.

Holly just studied the younger woman, shocked at the words that had fallen from her lips. Rape. It was such a simple word with drastic consequences to the victim. She had never thought Stacia would be one of them. She was so physically strong...

"What the Hell did you do to her?" AJ accused, glancing toward Brian when silence evoked the entire party. The scream that had awoken him had been so chilling. His heart had yet to recover from the panic.

"I didn't do anything! I was trying to get her to talk to me--"

"You must have done something, she almost passed out--"

"I grabbed her arm so she wouldn't run away from me! She kept telling me to go home to my wife!"

"Will you two stop it?! You're not helping the situation," Holly snapped at the two men as she watched Stacia.

"Maybe you should go home," AJ instructed, giving Brian a stern glare. As much as he hoped that Brian would realize how special Stacia was, it was becoming painfully clear that Brian was no where near ready to do so and it was having a profound affect on Stacia. He was hurting her more than he realized.

"This is fucking bullshit. All I did was try and help her," Brian spat. He grabbed his jacket and stormed out, slamming the front door behind him.

Wincing at the way Stacia jerked at the echo of a slamming door, AJ looked to Holly and watched her helplessly shrug her shoulders. Neither had wanted to push Brian out the door, but it seemed like it was for the best. "...Why don't we get her up to bed... Those pills should work pretty soon and maybe she'll sleep..." he suggested softly to his lover.

"Yeah. C'mon, Sweetie. Let's go to your room and try to get some sleep," Holly rubbed Stacia's shoulder to rouse her up.

"I got her," AJ promised, not sure if he trusted Stacia's legs to hold her. Bending down, he scooped the woman into his embrace. She hadn't the strength to even struggle, so she rested against him. Numb and broken.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"She's still sleeping," AJ announced as he walked into his lover's office, flopping down onto the leather sofa he usually occupied whenever she worked. He rested his hands over his face, trying to gather some sort of composure. He and Holly had been up all night in Stacia's guestroom, listening to her softly sob before drifting into a troubled sleep. The medication had done some sort work when her whimpers had drifted, allowing them some sort of peace. But hearing what had happened in Philadelphia still plagued him. Knowing that she had been so hurt...

"Thank God for small favors," Holly sighed heavily as various clicks echoed from her fingertips as she worked on the laptop. Keeping her mind on something else helped her forget the Hell her best friend had endured when she was thousands of miles away.

"It's not your fault, y'know. And it ain't hers either," AJ reminded, noticing the way Holly's shoulders rounded forward. She seemed to hunch over her laptop, barely concentrating on what she was writing.

"I would never blame her. She couldn't have predicted this might happen to her," Holly mumbled, deleting almost as many words as she entered. The article wasn't due until next week, but she needed to do something or else she could almost guarantee a breakdown of her own.

"You can't blame yourself either, Holls. She was living in Philly all by herself. We asked her to come live here, but she wouldn't. You couldn't have done anything to prevent this. Just like her."

"I really need to get this article done," Holly took off her glasses, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"It isn't due for another week," AJ reminded her, pulling himself off the sofa and seating himself at her side. Reaching for her shoulders, he gently rubbed them in a soothing fashion, working the tension away. "Which reminds me, the magazine called."

"What did they want?" Holly let her neck droop as he massaged her shoulders.

"To tell you that they're hiring you a new assistant."

"I hope they did background checks this time. The last assistant I had was so obsessed with you--"

"Yeah, she about scared my dick into jumping up my ass when she jumped out of your closet naked singing Larger than Life," AJ agreed with a hard shudder, leaning forward to press soft kisses against the back of her neck.

"Oh, the horrible images that have burned into my brain," Holly made a face. Sometimes being the girlfriend of such a high profile celebrity had a price.

"You, I couldn't keep a straight face when I had to perform that song!"

"We'll have to see what happens when the new tour starts."

"God help me."

"Let's just pray my next assistant is a male. But then again, he could be gay and--"

"I'd rather him be gay."

"What? Why?" she looked up at him in question.

"Like I need a man drooling on you."

"You're the only man that can drool on me. Unfortunately, sometimes you do when you're sleeping--"

"Baby," AJ whined sharply. "It's just 'cause you're delicious!"

"Nice save," Holly actually laughed.

"You love me," he crooned.

"More than you'll ever know," she agreed, pulling him down for a kiss.

"I love you too," AJ promised with a soft murmur against her lips, leaning forward to brace himself against her back. Their lips met and their tongues moved in a slow, sensual roll.

"You always know how to make things better," Holly whispered, her eyes fluttering softly from the passion that exuded fromm each other. Even after three years, he could still take her breath away.

"I've always promised to take care of you, Sweetheart."

"I know," she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I need you to take care of me right now."

"Just tell me how, Sweetheart."

"Shower me with kisses and then make love to me?"

"I can do both of those," AJ insisted with a wry grin, commanding her mouth into more sweet kisses.

"Mmm," a soft moan floated from Holly's throat and she felt AJ heft her into his arms. Their kisses never broke as they settled onto the large, plush couch.

"Making love in your office is probably my favorite spot," AJ decided with a chuckle against her lips, breaking the kisses long enough to push his lips over the side of her neck. Feeling her shiver, he hauled her close and nipped appreciatively at her sweet skin. She knew how to drive him wild. Anything he could ever posess would always be hers.

"Mine too," Holly almost squealed with desire as he found her weakness - a small spot at the very crook of her neck. He always seemed to know where to kiss to have her begging for more.

"Then it would have to be our bedroom," AJ continued, ruffling her short blonde locks. He then tangled his fingers into the locks, pulling her mouth to his once more.

"Mmhmm," Holly mumbled, arching her back to bring their bodies even closer together. How she had ever lived without AJ, she didn't know.

"Maybe the jacuzzi next..." AJ murmured thoughtfully, nibbling at the front of her throat.

"The jacuzzi..." Holly shuddered, her fingernails trailing along the back of his neck. There probably wasn't a room in the house they hadn't made love in. To say they were an adventurous couple was an understatement.

"You're easy as Hell tonight, Baby," AJ chuckled, lightly trailing his fingers on her inner thighs.

"You like it when I'm easy," Holly growled, nipping at his bottom lip.

"Fucking right."

"Then stop teasing--"

"Uncle AJ? You in there?" Baylee called from outside the office, disrupting any afternoon plans for love-making. His tiny fingers wriggled underneath the space of the door, hoping to coax an opening of the door.

"You know, if he wasn't so damn cute..." AJ groaned as Holly giggled.

"Uncle AJ! Please?" Baylee continued. "I want to be with you. Please!"

"Hold on, Buddy. I'm coming," AJ got up to unlock the door as Holly situated herself on the couch. He looked down at the toddler, who grinned and hugged his legs.

"Thank you! I couldn't wake Staci up!" Baylee explained with a squeal when AJ launched him into the air. Flying only a few feet before landing back in the man's strong arms, Baylee flushed with excitement before turning serious. "Her's crying in her sleep."

"She is?"

"Uh-huh. Why she crying?"

"Her heart's hurting right now, Buddy," AJ explained gently, carrying the boy back to the sofa. Flopping down, he allowed Baylee to curl between him and Holly.

"Can't make it hurt no more?" Baylee questioned, looking up at his aunt and uncle.

"It takes time to heal that kind of boo-boo, Bay," AJ explained, draping his arm on the back of the couch to hold both Holly and Baylee. He knew they were quite effected by Stacia's depression. Almost as if they were experiencing her pain.

"My kissies can't make it better?"

"I'm sure she'd love your kissies."

"Your kissies are the best, Bayler," Holly smiled, pressing a kiss onto the top of his unruly curls.

"Daddy's are better," Baylee decided, tucking himself to Holly's side. He reached for the long beaded necklace around her neck, playing with the delicate and beautifully colored glass beads. "I fell once and my knee broke open. Blood ever-where! Daddy kissed me better! Then Staci kissed me better! Then Daddy kissed Staci..."

"Daddy did what?" AJ tried to hold back a chuckle.

"He kissed Staci."

"You mean on the cheek?"

"No, the lips!"

"The lips?" AJ gasped as Baylee nodded excitedly.

"Yes! Lips! They kissed for a long time."

"Probably blew her a raspberry."

"Not-uh! He licked her!"

"He what?!" Holly burst out laughing.

"He licked her!" Baylee exclaimed with a scowl, not understanding what was so funny. He was speaking the truth. "Him's tongue went into her mouth!"

"Oh good Lord..." Holly continued to laugh, snorting occasionally.

"It's not funny!"

"I'm sorry, Sweetie. I just didn't expect you to say that."

"Daddy loves Staci!" Baylee continued to defend.

"I know he does."

"And Staci loves Daddy!"

"I know she does--"

"Then how come they don't get married and be happy?"

"Oh... well... Bayler, it's really complicated--"

"Why?"

"For one, your daddy is still married to your mommy--"

"Mommy doesn't love Daddy."

"Mommy's a money-hungry-whore," AJ grunted, not expecting Holly's elbow to land so firmly in his chest. Gasping softly, he straighened and pulled the small boy into his lap. Ruffling the flaxen curls, he pressed a loving kiss to the boy's forehead. "C'mon, Baylee, let's go watch TV."

"C'n we watch Ninja Turtles?"

"As long as you don't beat me up this time. My ninja skills are still rusty!"

Nodding his head in agreement, Baylee grinned in triumph when he was lifted high into AJ's grasp. Squirming for a moment, he was even more estatic when he was plopped on AJ's shoulders for a quick ride. Though, AJ turned back to his lover with a soft smile. "I want one of these," he announced, gesturing to the boy.

"One of those?" Holly questioned dumbly.

"Love you, Babe," AJ crooned, refusing to answer the question as he walked toward the door.

Seated in the cold wet sand, Stacia did her best to gather the mounds of sand into sleek towers for a gorgeous sandcastle. Baylee was running toward the surf to collect another pale of sand, insisting that it was the best sand to use. She kept a close eye on him, especially with the photographers milling about. Each seemed anxious to catch another photograph of Stacia with Baylee. And many had actually cooed in delight when he flopped in her lap and forced her hands to help him build the center of the castle. After a exhausting night of spilling her darkest secret, she just needed an escape. From everyone.

Holly had tried starting a simple conversation with Stacia, but it ended up dying on her lips as Stacia scooped up Baylee, muttered they were going out and left. It was too hard to look into the older woman's eyes and see the pity. She screened the calls on her cell phone, letting the ones from Holly or AJ go to her voicemail.

What did they expect her to say when they murmured apologies for her nightmare? That it was oaky. She was a fighter. She'd survive. It wasn't that bad. Bullshit. She told herself those things every day and she didn't even believe them. She didn't find it necessary to repeat the nonesense to her friends. She'd rather disappear. Fall into a black hole of nothingness. Where she could be nothing.

"Staci! Got the perfect sand!" Baylee came trotting back with a bucket full of sand.

"Did Mermaids help you scoop it up?" Stacia asked with a small smile, allowing Baylee to flop onto her lap with the bucket in his.

"They wanted to! But I'm a big boy," Baylee replied as he scooped up some of the sand. "I can do it myself."

"I should have known," Stacia mused, overturning the rest of the bucket to create a perfect tower.

"This is the best castle EVER!" Baylee squealed with delight, clapping his sandy hands.

"Yeah, just don't get it in your eyes," Stacia laughed, brushing the grit of sand from his face.

"Otay," Baylee grinned as he began digging a circle around the castle. "Help me build a boat, Staci!"

"A boat? Boats don't go in a castle!"

"No... a BOAT!" Baylee pointed to the ring he was building around the castle.

"A moat," Stacia clarified with a quick nod, leaning forward to help dig away the sands around the castle. Once they had a large moat to protect the castle, she helped him from the ground and handed him the bucket. Adjusting her cherry printed bikini, she laughed soft when he hugged her leg so she carried him down the beach. "Let's go get some water for the moat."

"Got to protect our castle from the bad guys!" Baylee giggled as they reached the water. The waves were gentle for mid-afternoon, hissing softly when it pulled away from the sand.

"Dragons and goblins and--"

"Nick Carter's!"

"Since when was your Uncle Nicky a bad guy?"

"Uncles aren't supposed to date Aunties!"

"Then how do you get cousins?"

"The stork!"

"Baylee--"

"Daddy says Uncle Nicky is a bad guy," Baylee explained, taking the pale to collect the water that rushed in with the waves.

"Daddy says a lot of things," Stacia murmured, leaning down to clean the sand from her hands, listening to the repeated clicks of expensive cameras.

"Daddy tells the truth!" Baylee insisted as he kneeled down and carefully poured the water into the moat.

"You love your Daddy very much."

"He loves me. Mommy doesn't," Baylee said softly, setting the pail down on the sand and turning his attention to cleaning up around the moat.

"He loves you very much," Stacia promised, reaching out to grasp Baylee. Pulling him into her embrace, she tucked her chin over the top of his head. She planted soft kisses to the crown of his beautiful curls, feeling his arms snake around her body. He clung to her. Frightened.

"Why doesn't Mommy love me?" Baylee asked, his bright blue eyes brimming with tears.

"Sweetheart," Stacia cooed softly, gently rubbing his back in a soothing manner. "I love you so much. And your Daddy loves you so much. And your Uncle AJ, Aunt Holly, Uncle Nicky--"

"I know," Baylee stressed, his little hands clutching the strings of her bikini top. "But why don't Mommy love me? Was I bad?"

"You don't have an inch of bad bone in your body, Baylee Thomas," Stacia assured, running her fingers repeatedly through the boy's damp locks. She hated that she needed to have this conversation with Baylee, not even knowing what to say to him. How could she admit to the boy that his mother actually loathed the sight of him? It wasn't fair to the boy. Not when he was so sweet and impressionable.

"Then how come Mommy don't love me?"

"She does..."

"She never says it."

"Some people don't know how to."

"I guess," Baylee sighed, resting his head on Stacia's chest and closing his eyes.

"Baylee, I love you so much," Stacia volunteered after a few moments of stretching silence. Gently she rubbed his back while pressing soft kisses to his brow.

"I love you, too," Baylee replied, relaxing in her arms as he stuck his thumb into his mouth. It was something he did only when he was upset and the cause was usually Leighanne.

"Sweet Pea, I don't want you to be upset..." Stacia cooed sadly. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You can call me any time you need me, okay? Because you're so very special to me."

"How come you can't live here? Philly is too far."

"Philly is too far..." Stacia agreed with a nod, tucking a few curls behind his ears.

"Stay in Mal'bu. Please?"

"Are you and I going to move into our own place?"

"Yeah! We could have pizza and ice cream ever night!"

"Then get a tubby together and snuggle in bed!"

"Yeah! And watch movies and eat popcorn and, and, and--"

"I hope I'm invited into these festitives," Brian announced, crossing the long length of boardwalk in a hurry when he spotted Stacia and Baylee. He had also noticed the paparazzi hovering about, so he wanted to reach them quickly. Last night had been tortourous and he felt so foolish for running out on Stacia. When she needed someone to hold her.

"DADDY!" Baylee squealed, looking up to see his father.

"Go get him," Stacia encouraged softly, releasing the boy as he squirmed frantically.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Baylee chanted with a round of giggles as he ran towards Brian in the warm sand.

"Scooper! Scooper! Scooper!" Brian chorused, throwing his son into the air before crushing him into a powerful hug. He had felt so terrible about stranding the boy at AJ's house last night, knowing he never should have left in the first place. But he was grateful that Baylee and Stacia had spent the morning together, knowing each would soothe the other's heartache. His son seemed happier than he had in weeks.

"I missed you!" Baylee wrapped his little arms around Brian's neck and gave his cheek a loud, wet kiss. His father always made things better, just like Stacia.

"I missed you too," Brian promised, blowing a loud raspberry to his son's cheek in return.

"How'd you find us?" Baylee questioned, leaning back to let their brilliant blue eyes connect.

"Magic," Brian teased, noticing that Stacia had moved to the ocean waters to wash herself of the sand. The beautifully bright aura that usually hovered over her essence had died completely. There was a stain of darkness circling her now. The beast that had attacked her had stolen the innocence that Brian had cherished so much.

"Y'mean like Harry Potter?" Baylee's eyes went wide with wonder.

"Something like that," Brian agreed, smoothing the wet locks away from his son's eyes. "I just knew that you and Staci would go to the beach. You both love to be here."

"She's good at making castles! Moats, too! Right, Staci?" Baylee called out to Staci, who was still standing by the water.

"I think she can't hear you over the waves," Brian explained when Stacia didn't turn to acknowledge Baylee's question. Setting his son on the large beach blanket, he rummaged in the cooler to produce a box of apple juice and a sandwhich. "How about you eat up and I talk to her?"

"Okay. But careful of the waves! They could sweep you away!" Baylee nodded as he sat down on the beach blanket and took a big bite of his sandwich.

"You don't leave with any strangers," Brian warned, keeping a close eye on his son while he walked toward the water's edge. He hesitated on touching Stacia immediately, not knowing what she would do. He was frightened of her reactions and didn't want to think of the atrocities that had occured in Philidelphia. Holding his breath, he continued to watch Baylee eating and stepped beside Stacia. "Thank you for watching Baylee."

"It was a free date, I had to take it," Stacia answered, tucking her hands against her hips and continuing to stare at the horizon.

"I would have been there this morning, but Mom and Pop thought it would be better if I went home since you were so upset last night--"

"I love spending time with Baylee. You don't need to thank me."

"But--"

"I love him."

"I know you do. I just don't want you to feel obliged--"

"Never with Baylee. He needs the love like I do and we have fun together."

"Stacia..."

"Seems like fate is always working against us, doesn't it?" Stacia continued, refusing to turn her gaze to the older man.

"What?" Brian mumbled in surprise, arching his light blonde brows with question. The statement was so simplistic, yet the meaning behind it weighed heavily on his heart. He had never been the one to tempt fate. Nor God. Yet, here he was, having to face what he feared most.

"Fate..." Stacia repeated, tucking her arms over her chest. "Last night... We could have done something so sinful... So delicious... Yet, Leighanne calls... It's just perfect."

"Staci--"

"We have to accept it, Brian. Friendship is the only thing we can have and the sooner we realize it... the less painful it will be."

"But I just wanted--"

"You can't have me and Leighanne."

"Sta--"

"I will always be your friend. I don't think I could ever stop our friendship. But you can't play with my heart anymore... it's too much to take."

"Stacia, I have never played with your heart," Brian immediately disagreed with hurt, reaching to take her into his arms. He held her at an arm's length, refusing to chance the tense situation by hugging her. But he wanted to look into her eyes. For her to know the truth about what they had created. "I have made sure to take care of your heart from the very beginning. I love you so much. I can't imagine not having you in my life. But don't you dare say that I hurt you. I'm not that bastard--"

"Please don't," Stacia interupted quickly.

"Stacia, you and Baylee are my life! I just want you to see that I haven't--"

"How can you say you haven't hurt me? Everytime you hold me, or kiss me, or... you stop. And go home to Leighanne. What do you expect me to feel?"

"I would hope that you'd understand--"

"Understand what, Brian? I've waited and I've waited. I can't do it anymore. I can't hold onto something that is never going to happen. You are never going to leave her and I'm refuse to be 'that woman' people talk about at parties. If you're just going to string me along like this... then I just want the friendship."

"Staci, I thought that--"

"I'm not a whore."

"I know you're not! God, I would NEVER--"

"You almost made me one last night."

"Last night... how does that make you a whore? A whore sleeps around with multiple men! That's not you."

"A whore is a woman who takes what doesn't belong to her. You don't belong to me. I refuse to damage my soul over you anymore. I can't take it. I hurt too much," Stacia explained, tugging hard on her damp locks. "Do you have any idea how much I hate myself right now?"

"Damnit, Stacia--"

"For once... can you just please accept my wishes and allows us to be just friends?"

"But I--"

Brian wanted to object to her final decision. To tell her that she was wrong about them. There was no possible way for them to maintain a friendship without longing to persue each other for an intimate encounter. He was furious that she could even suggest that friendship be the only thing they could have. Especially after a night kindled with such passion. If the night had gone smoothly, they would have awoken in one another's arms, bare bodies entwined with the sweet scent of sex lingering about them. He wanted to grab her and throw her into the hot, gritty sand. To breathe such a fire into her body through wild lovemaking that the cold waves lapping upon their glistening bodies would create steam. Yet, there he stood, silent.

No words could project from his mouth. He couldn't find the strength to take that first step, knowing what it would mean for their lives. And, now, a dark cloud lingered over her. The menancing shadow of a spineless man who forcefully took Stacia's innocence without a second thought about the devastation it would cause. She was tainted and it pained him. It felt as if he had been the one assaulted when he looked into the depth of her murky emerald eyes. He wanted to tell her it would be okay. That he would love her reguardless of the bastard's attack--

"Stacia!"

"Just in time..." Stacia murmured with the utmost relief, turning from the surf to see Nick jogging down the length of beach. He stopped momentarily to sweep his fingers through Baylee's damp locks, but hurried to embrace her.

"Hey, Sweetie! I heard that you two would be down here," Nick smiled, kissing her cheek.

"Bay and I decided that today was going to be a Beach Bum Day."

"If I had the chance, every day would be filled with bumming on the beach," Nick agreed with a grin, looping his arm about her thin, bare waist to tug her close. She fit perfectly against his side and he could barely hide the pride that surfaced when her arm slid to rest along the small of his back as well. Giving her shoulder a squeeze, he looked to Baylee and then Brian. "Hell, our date is supposed to be today. That's why I hurried down. So, since Brian is here... Guess we can pass over the kid and have more time alone?"

"Sounds great to me," Stacia confirmed, pressing a gentle hand to the center of his chest and refusing to give Brian a second glance.

"You don't mind, right, B?" Nick questioned, raising his light blonde brows in question toward his friend. He seemed hesitant at first, not wanting another fist to connect with his face, but having Stacia at his side gave him confidence.

"No. Not at all. You two... have fun," Brian forced the words over his numb lips, bending down to bring Baylee into his arms. "C'mon, Scooper, it's time to go home. I'll make some lunch and we'll watch cartoons."

"Daddy... I already ate," Baylee murmured in confusion, grasping at his father's neck when he was jostled quite roughly. Peering over Brian's shoulder, Baylee tilted his head in wonder at the way Nick leaned to murmur softly within Stacia's ear. She actually blushed and started to push him away, but Nick was quick to pull her back. Without hesitation, lips were pushed upon hers, coaxing her into a sweet surrender. "Daddy! What is Nicky doing?!"

Brian sighed heavily as he trodded through the heavy sand. He refused to look back at the new couple. "They're going on their date--"

"No! Daddy, look!"

"Scooper, it's not polite to stare--"

"Him's licking her! Like you licked her!"

"Baylee Thomas--"

"Daddy! Make him stop! You s'posed to love Staci! Not Nicky!"

"I can't make him stop," Brian grunted with irritation, abruptly placing his child upon the ground. Reaching for one of Baylee's hands, he hurried the pace of his stride till Baylee had to jog to catch up. He didn't want the child to observe what was occuring on the beach, especially as the paparazzi rushed past.

"Why not?!"

"Because I can't. Staci and Nicky are grown-up. They can do whatever they want..."

Yanking his hand from his father's particularly strong grasp, Baylee drew his body into a stance of pure fury. Clenching his fists in annoyance, he stopped a sandled foot against the boardwalk. "I want Staci!"

"You can't have Staci right now," Brian held back a groan as he looked down at his son. "We're going home."

"No!" Baylee disagreed sharply. "She at home! I hate her!"

"She's your mother! Don't ever say you hate her!" Brian almost snapped, finally picking Baylee up once again and heading towards his SUV.

"She hate me an' I hate her!"

"Baylee, you're working yourself on getting sent to your room for the rest of the night when we get home," Brian gritted, wincing when a furious string of kicks came from his son's legs, directly connecting with his chest. It had been years since his heart surgery, but the area was still tender. More so now considering the way Stacia had just ripped his heart out.

"Good!" Baylee growled.

"Fod God sakes, Baylee, give me a break! I'm doing the best I can for you!" Brian bit hard on his bottom lip when Baylee's knee slammed into his scar. "BAYLEE THOMAS WYLEE LITTRELL! That is ENOUGH!"

The sudden raising of his voice sounded like a gunshot to the preschooler and silence quickly consumed him. Plopped down none too gently into his carseat, Baylee simply froze within his father's hands, allowing himself to be fastened snuggly. Tears slipped from his large crystal eyes, but he pressed his lips together before burying his face within his hands. Never had Brian lost control with him before.

"Damnit..." Brian whispered, closing his eyes for a moment. He had always vowed he wouldn't raise his voice like that to Baylee. It killed him to see his son so upset because of something he said. "Baylee... son, I'm sorry. Daddy didn't mean to yell."

"I want to go home," Baylee sniffled, refusing to meet his father's gaze. Instead, he focused on the stretch of beach, just able to make out Stacia frolicking in the waves. Trembling, Baylee fought another sharp sob, causing a painful hiccup to lurch within him.

"Baylee, c'mon, look at me," Brian pleaded, reaching out to cup the toddler's chin.

"No."

"I'm sorry. Staci hurt my feelings and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Go away."

"Baylee--"

"Not talk to you."

"I'm your Daddy--"

"You hurt'd Staci first!" Baylee suddenly accused, throwing a hateful finger into his father's face. His crystal eyes glistened with hate as tears clung to his reddened face.

"How did I--"

"You stay with her and make Staci watch!"

"Baylee!"

"I'm glad she hurt'd you!"


"I am not having this conversation with a four year old," Brian relented, reaching to secure his son into the booster seat. Though Baylee attempted to throw his feet toward Brian's hands, he managed to pull away unscathed, slamming the car door before hurrying to the driver's side. Sliding inside, he could hear the soft sniffles reverberating from his son, which only made him clench the steering wheel tighter. How could Baylee have possibly known? Much less understood? It was absurd to have his child talking about such twisted romantic triangles.

"I hate you, Daddy," Baylee reminded him from the backseat when the car was revved.

"Don't worry, I hate myself too, Scooper."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Y'know... if God wanted to strike me down now... I would welcome it," Brian mumbled to himself as he plopped down onto the couch and placed a hand over his face. Baylee had stormed up to his room once Brian unbuckled him from the car and slammed the door with all his little might. The entire ride home had been filled with a hateful silence that echoed in his heart.

"I hate you!" Baylee reminded quite harshly before throwing a parade of toys down the stairway. Each bounced and buckled beneath the weight of the toss, some breaking apart and continuing to roll. Yet Brian just settled on the couch, hating that he hadn't taken the opportunity that had been presented. Why couldn't he have just taken Stacia into his arms at the beach? Told Nick to fuck off? Why?

"I don't deserve to be happy... Maybe that's why I..." Brian trailed off, sighing heavily as Baylee continued his banter and throwing more toys down the stairs.

Reaching for one of the frilly pillows that Leighanne insisted would have to decorate their uncomfortable couch, Brian pushed it onto his face in hopes that he might smother. But all he could do was drown the screams of his son from upstairs. He hadn't the strength to settle the tantrum. He had never seen Baylee so furious. Except for perhaps the time that Leighanne had mentioned Stacia to one of her friends, giving the woman a nasty slur of a name. Baylee had actually broken his favorite toy upon his mother's knee. That spanking had been brutal--

"What the fuck is going on here?!" A demanding voice screeched as the front door slammed open. High heels click-clacked over the expensive marble tile in the foyer; a noise that always brought chills down Brian's spine.

"My son is throwing a tantrum, Leighanne," Brian announced dryly, not even bothering to sit up to greet her. It had been far too long since he had actually made the effort to greet her. Mostly because the woman was a ghost within the house. She would breeze in and hurry out just the same. The only remenance of her presence the stale scent of expensive perfume. And those were the good days.

"No wonder he's such a brat -- you let him do whatever he wants," Leighanne ripped the pillow off Brian's face, her lips curled into a sneer that he even saw while she was asleep in bed.

"What do you want, Leighanne?" Brian questioned sourly, folding his hands over his face to avoid the blaze of her glare. Having seen the way that Nick had intimately scooped Stacia in his arms was enough pain for the day, especially knowing what had happened just weeks previous. She wasn't ready to be manhandled. She didn't need some monster prowling beneath her clothes in search of the easiest access to her soul. She needed... Him...

"I wanted some damn quiet time in my house, but that little shitheaded clone of yours is throwing all those toys I wasted my money on--"

"Your money? You must mean my money, because you only buy for yourself."

"When I married you, Brian, your money became my money," Leighanne reminded quite haughtily, glaring down at a toy that skidded over her expensive leather heel. The dark streak that marred the perfect shoe caused a furious scowl to form upon her neatly painted face. Bending down, she scooped the toy from the floor and growled. Without even consulting Brian, she started up the staircase. "Baylee Thomas Wylee! You better hope to God that I run off my energy coming up these steps otherwise you won't be walking for a week!"

"Wait a fucking minute!" Brian got up and hurried after her. He would not allow Leighanne to hurt his son just because he was upset with him. He grabbed onto her arm. "You're not going to touch him!"

"Let go of my arm, Brian," Leighanne commanded with a sharp bark, yanking her arm away from the man's grasp. It caused both to stumble on the stairs, but she hollered for her son just the same. The noise had stopped within Baylee's room and the silence was deafening.

"Baylee, lock your door!" Brian commanded, putting his arm across to grasp the banister so she couldn't continue up the stairs. "He's four years old, Leighanne. You rough handle him like he's your size and I will not allow it anymore."

"He's my son and I'll punish him as I see fit--"

"No he is not. You only see him as a son when you feel like beating the shit out of him! I'm the one who loves and takes care of him," Brian growled, hearing Baylee close the door and the lock click. "You're not going to touch him."

"I gave birth to that little bastard--"

"That's all you ever did. He is not a bastard. He's my son, so stay the fuck away from him, you bitch--"

Releasing his anger against Leighanne had felt like a fond liberation, but he was robbed of his passion to escape the nightmare when Leighanne retaliated physicially. The plastic toy she had been clutching in her hand was thrown toward Brian, connecting sharply with his cheek. It felt as if bone had given way when he tumbled down the stairs. He could taste the blood pooling in his mouth when he hit the threshold of the stairs with a hard groan. But the sharp tap of heels behind him had warned him to react. He attempted to stumble away, but she descended upon him like a dark cloud. Manicured nails became talons. Expensive leather heels became sharp cleavers. Fists became mallets.

"Don't you ever fucking talk to me like that again, you spineless asshole! I run this house! I have no problem teaching you and Baylee a lesson when it comes to following my rules!" Leighanne screamed, hitting whatever tender flesh she could reach.

Tucking his arms over his head, he made sure to draw himself into a tight ball. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to force his mind away from the pain. Drawing Stacia's perfect image into her mind, he tried to pretend it didn't hurt. That the pain didn't wash over him in wild torrents. The burning of his flesh actually felt as if it would sear the bone. But she would stop. Eventually.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Pressing his ear to the door, Baylee strained to hear any more noises errupting from his parents fight. He had listened when Brian instructed him to lock the door, knowing that his mother would be after him with any object in reach. Her whippings had become far more brutal since the last time she had visisted. But when the slam of the front door echoed throughout the house, Baylee worked to ease his door open and cautiously peered out. There was no sight of the horrifying woman that haunted his nightmares, but he was still careful. Creeping down the steps, his crystal blue eyes widened in horror to see Brian crumpled at the bottom of the steps. "Daddy!"

Not getting a response scared Baylee, thinking that his mother might have killed his father and he would end up living with her in an endless nightmare. He ran down the stairs as fast as his small legs allowed. "Daddy!"

Brian held his breath when Baylee's hands landed upon his spine, sending a dark flare of pain shooting through his body. Twisting away from the touch, he was aware of the throb against the side of his face. She had come with a vengence and left just the same. He was broken and she just didn't care. All he could taste was metal and he knew that it was blood. But, before he could react, Baylee had collapsed into his father's arms and sobbed openly. The boy fumbled to apologize, but Brian gently patted his back. "I'm okay, Scooper."

"I don't hate you, Daddy! I sorry I was so bad!" Baylee repeated over and over, his tears streaking Brian's blood-spotted shirt.

"Scooper, it's okay. Daddy's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

"Mommy hurt you 'cause of me!"

"It is not your fault. Mommy hurts me because... she likes to. It's not because of you and I do not want to hear you say that ever again. Do you hear me?"

"Mommy was mad at me--"

"Listen to me," Brian pulled Baylee away for a moment, running a shaking hand through the child's curls. "This was not your fault. It has never been your fault."

"I threw my toys," Baylee objected with a hard sniffle. He had learned quickly not to tempt his mother's temper. She always had a way of winding a palm back across his cheek without any explanation. But the way she treated his father... Baylee had been accustomed to seeing his father hurt. Wriggling, he hurried to the bathroom to gather the first aide kit.

"You're not the first kid to have a tantrum, son. It doesn't mean mommies or daddies should hurt them that she does to you," Brian diagreed as he carefully made himself sit up.

"You got bad owies, Daddy," Baylee commented softly.

"I know... they'l fade, Scoop. I promise," Brian opened up the kit and pulled out some gauze, tape and peroxide.

"I can call 9-1-1--"

"I'll be fine. I don't need an ambulance."

"But Daddy--"

"If one of the owies is really bad, we'll go to the doctor. Okay? I don't want anyone to know what Mommy did."

"I can call Staci--"

"Staci's out with Uncle Nick. I don't want them to know, either."

"What about Uncle J and Auntie Holly?"

"This is our secret, Scooper."

"Why?"

"Because... because it will cause more problems for us."

"But Daddy--"

"Scooper, please."

"But Staci fixes boo-boo's--"

"These are boo-boo's Staci can't know about."

"Daddy!"

"Promise me, Scooper. You don't tell Staci about the boo-boo's. She can't know," Brian instructed, holding his breath when he wiped hydrogen peroxide over his wounds.

"But--"

"Promise me."

"Otay... I promise."

"Good," Brian breathed with relief, leaning forward to press a small kiss to his son's brow. He couldn't stand the thought of Stacia knowing. Especially now. "Now, c'mon, let's get Daddy cleaned up."

"Okay, guys, that was a great session," One of the recording assistants praised as he saved all the work they had done for the day into the large recording system. They had been working all day and now the whole night was theirs.

"Damn right it was great," AJ replied, almost overconfident as he took off his headset with a grin.

"He says that because he did most of his solos today," Nick decided with a smirk, pulling his own headphones off and slipping a hand into his back pocket. Withdrawing his expensive cell phone, he flipped it open to read the recent text message. Now, grinning like a fool, he tucked the phone back into the pocket. He had spent most of the week on outings with Stacia when he wasn't occupied in the studio. The papparazzi had frenzied over the recent coupling, though they had merely enjoyed each other's company. Nothing was concrete. If anything, they had goofed around as friends while he continued to steal occassional kisses. But he hadn't let the others know that. She just needed a break. Or so she had said.

"At least I got them done. How many times did you need to sing your solo for Unmis--"

"I can't help it!" Nick immediately defended while following his friends out to the sitting room. He tripped on the crayons Baylee had scattered on the floor while coloring with Kevin, who had stopped by the studio to listen as well as babysit. Falling onto the couch, he gave a chershire grin as the others chuckled at his expense. "My phone was vibrating my ass and it started tickling!"

"I don't need to know your kinky turn-ons," Howie groaned, making a face. He knelt down to Baylee, who handed him a piece of paper so he could color as well.

"I'll just save it for the videos," Nick promised, leaning over to gently scoop Mason from his carseat. Cradling him against his chest, he mentioned to Kevin how beautiful the boy was, causing Kevin to grin with fatherly pride. Everyone got caught up within the conversation. Except for Brian.

Unable to take the cheerfulness of the conversation, Brian excused himself to find a soda in the nearby soda machine. He knew the reason why Nick was so chipper, especially after hearing the familiar ringtone that signaled Stacia's phone call. He couldn't stand to think of them together. Especially now. Leighanne's latest attack had been quite severe. Falling down the steps had bruised several of Brian's ribs and fractured his left wrist. Also, the left side of his face was grossly swollen and bruised from the whip of the toy against his face. Scratches even surfaced over the length of his body. Yet, Leighanne acted as if nothing was wrong. Gone again in a few days notice.

"Hey... Need some change?"

Brian looked up to see Stacia standing in the doorway of the studio. She and Nick were obviously going out for the night -- she had opted to wear a lavender peasant shirt along with a form fitting pair of black capris. Her locks were pulled up into a high ponytail; loose strands framed her heart shaped face.

"Rich musicians like yourself can't carry change and have themselves jingling with each step, huh?" Stacia inquired further when Brian kept silent, merely staring at the lit soda machine. Tucking her hand into a front pocket, she retrieved a crisp dollar bill and fed the machine. Pushing on the button that spit out Brian's favorite soda, she stooped down to pluck the soda from the machine. "Here."

"Thanks," Brian grasped the bottle, placing it into the crook of his left arm while opening it with his right hand. He took a long sip, the bubbly liquid soothing his parched throat. It always seemed to dry out when Stacia was near.

"Are you not talking to me anymore?" Stacia questioned quietly, watching her friend drain away the soda. He made sure that she only saw his right side, that is, till he turned slightly. Noticing the crisp white cast encirling his forearm and the layer of dark bruising, she had to swallow hard to keep herself from gasping. It reminded her of the state of her body when the hooded figure had swept her into the darkness. Unable to help herself, she reached out to brush her fingers over his unmarred cheek. "Brian, what happened?"

"I was being a klutz. I tripped over one of Scooper toys and fell down the stairs," Brian replied with the first excuse he could think of. Who would believe his wife, a woman, did that to him?

"Well thank God you landed on the toy with your face," Stacia breathed in horror, gently rubbing her thumb over his cheek while surveying his injuries. "Jesus, Bear, you've got to be hurting..."

"I've done worse," Brian shrugged, ignoring the flare of pain in his ribs from the sudden movement. He tried to concentrate on Stacia's gentle touch, though he knew soon it would be Nick who would feel it and he shook away the ache in his heart. "Broken bones heal... bruises heal... scratches heal--"

"Where did you get scratches?"

"The toy had some rough edges," Brian explained in a soft murmur, unable to keep himself from leaning into her when her soft lips brushed his forehead. Closing his eyes, he felt the intensity of physical pain wain slightly. He concentrated on the feel of her warm lips on his forehead, comforted at how she refused to pull away, even when speaking. Instead, her lips moved on his forehead, her voice soft and sweet.

"My poor Bear," Stacia cooed, though she couldn't possibly recall what toy of Baylee's would have rough enough edges to leave long scratches down the man's arms.

"I'll be okay," Brian continued to whisper, keeping his eyes closed as if that would prevent her leaving with Nick.

"I hope you feel better, Sweetheart," Stacia whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his brow while she gingerly brushed her hands over his shoulders. She rubbed encouragingly, hoping to strike up some warmth in what felt like a chilled body. He seemed so different at that moment. Petulant and hateful of the world. She could only imagine that hearing about her misfortunes in Philadelphia had disgusted him. If he only knew how horrible the nightmares could be. Perhaps he would understand...

"Seeing you makes things better," Brian opened his eyes and found himself gazing directly into hers. "Sometimes getting slobbery kisses from Scooter isn't the same as yours."

"Yeah..." Stacia trailed, allowing their foreheads to rest against once another, simply holding him close. "Why's that?"

"I think kisses from a woman you care about has a different feeling than kisses from your child."

"Brian, we're friends..."

"And friends care about each other. Don't they?"

"Of course--"

"That's why your kisses have a different feeling than Scoop's."

"Alright," Stacia agreed with a small nod, leaning to press another kiss to his forehead. Even though she was quite rough on him the previous week, she couldn't help but let herself be pulled into him again. He was powerfully addicting. She had always loved him and not having him hurt. Especially now when she needed him most. But she had to continually remind herself - she wasn't in a position to dedicate herself to a man for love and he wasn't in a position to be loved.

When Brian lingered in silence and kept his arms about her waist, she realized that he couldn't let go. Instead, he tucked his chin against her shoulder and allowed his eyes to drift closed. She could feel a fine tremble working through his body as if he were struggling. Gently rubbing his back, she felt him immediately tense with pain. "I'm sorry, Bear--"

"It-It's not your fault. It's just... my back got bruised from falling down the stairs--"

"Did the doctor check that out?"

"Yeah, after I got a cast on my wrist. It's going to be tender for awhile..."

"If you need me to take the munchkin for awhile so you can rest--"

"I would rather you just come over for another night of Disney movies sometime. I'll order pizza, make popcorn and maybe some sundaes."

"If I'm not getting dragged all around California by Nick, I'd love to--"

"Staci! You ready to go, babygirl?" Nick interrupted, almost sauntering over with a grin on his face.

"I'm always ready to go," Stacia promised with a small squeal when Nick hefted her up into a gigantic squeeze of a hug. Pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, she squeezed his shoulders and tried not to look at the devastation on Brian's face. She hated that he was so miserable with her frequent dating of Nick, but it wasn't as if they were sexual fiends. If anything, she just enjoyed having a night out on the town with a protective man at her side.

"See y'all tomorrow!" Nick called to the group, tossing Stacia over his shoulders to elict another squeal as he walked out of the studio.

"And this Saturday!" Stacia called as well, giving a quick wave to Brian before mouthing that she hoped he felt better.

"Why would she see us this Saturday?" Howie inquired with confusion, allowing Brian to gingerly shuffle back into the lounge. He said nothing about the way the youngest pair had collided together to start a relationship, not wanting to flare Brian's temper once more. There had been a mere mention of it during the beginning of the recording session and Brian's glass of water had flown across the studio.

"Nick's taking her to the party after we release the single," AJ explained, shifting Mason gently in his arms when the baby boy started to fuss.

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"You know Nick. Doesn't tell us anything until it's within hours of it actually happening."

"Say huh?"

"He forgets to tell us important things like that," AJ rolled his eyes. "You're getting old, D."

"I'm not the one that quit the group," Howie reminded, gesturing toward Kevin who was engrossed in coloring with his cousin.

"I'm concentrating on raising my family," Kevin muttered, though he picked up a blue crayon just the same.

"Wait... Nick's taking her as his official date?" Brian questioned softly, carefully easing himself on the couch. He had hoped that whatever was occuring between the two had been superficial. Holly had been quite reassuring when she mentioned it was barely even a fling. That Stacia was merely enjoying the attention.

"This is Nick... any time a girl goes with him to something like this, it's an official date. Whether she says it is or not--"

"They'll make a cute couple for the cameras," Kevin decided, though he winced when Brian's foot found his ribcage. Jerking up, he immediately frowned toward his cousin. "You could ask her to go as your date--"

"Leighanne's coming," Brian announced softly.

"She's actually going to be in town?"

"When there's press involved, she's always in town."

"Was she in last night?" AJ questioned, gently patting Mason's diapered backside to soothe him into a light slumber. Grinning when the child raised a fist to suck upon, he decided that starting a family wouldn't be too horrible. He had always feared fatherhood, but Baylee and Mason were starting to give him second thoughts. Though he hadn't the chance to tell Holly yet.

"Yeah. Scooper and I had a camp-out in his room so she could rest in the master bedroom," Brian reached over and ruffled Baylee's curls. The child looked up at him and offered a smile. "We had fun, didn't we?"

"The doctor was nice," Baylee agreed with a nod, ripping the page from his Pirates of the Carribean coloring book. Standing up, he offered the page to his father as a get well present. "He gave me a green lollipop when Daddy got fixed."

"He sure did," Brian smiled, admiring the masterpiece Baylee had created for him. "This is going right on the wall of the studio in our basement, Buddy. You're getting so good at coloring inside the lines."

"I just can't believe you tripped over the kid's toy and tumbled down the steps," AJ grunted while Baylee beamed in accomplishment. "That's usually something Nick would do--"

"It's not something I'm proud of," Brian interrupted, bending down slightly to kiss Baylee's forehead.

"But Daddy, you didn't trip--"

"Baylee, don't you remember? You were in your room when Daddy tripped. You didn't see it," Brian gave the child a look.

"I know but--"

"Why don't you color a picture for Staci? Her favorite pirate is Jack Sparrow."

Baylee nodded and allowed himself to be pushed back to coloring, but the damage seemed to have been done. The three men looked at him quite suspiciously, but he chose to ignore it. Instead, he focused on watching his son color while Kevin and Howie excused themselves for the day. AJ still lingered, however, helping Baylee gather his toys. "Did you get a chance to talk to Staci?"

"A little bit. She felt bad about my lovely little trip down the stairs," Brian replied, refusing to look over at the younger man. "We're going to plan another movie night soon... whenever Nick allows her to take a breath from all their 'dates'."

"As much as you hate them going out... He's been good for her..."

"Yeah, I noticed."

"Bri--"

"It's not my business--"

"I know you love her."

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"The Hell it doesn't, B--"

"She's dating my best friend--"

"She's doing that to forget about you and ignore what happened to her in Philly. Do you know she screams at night? In her sleep. She screams bloody murder, but when we come in, she refuses to talk about it. Fuck, Nick doesn't know shit about that. She feels safe having him around."

"And what do you want me to do about it? She won't persue anything because of this," Brian held up his left hand, where his wedding band still remained.

"You could always file--"

"I can't file for divorce."

"Then you can't have Staci," AJ murmured, reaching to collect his keys and phone from the nearby coffee table. "Jesus Christ, Brian, can't you understand how she's feeling? The poor girl was raped. Everything was taken away from her and she's trying so hard to get it back. Then you keep trying to get with her. She already feels like a cheap trick and you're trying to make her your mistress. She doesn't want to keep your bed warm for the night till your bitch of a wife comes home. She wants all of you."

"Just fucking leave already. You don't know what goes on inside my head, nor what I feel," Brian turned away and leaned down to watch Baylee continue to color.

"I'm trying to help you--"

"No one can help me. Just leave me alone, J."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Reading over the stack of notes left in her mailbox at the magazine's central office, Holly was quick to find a direct path to her private office. She had neglected her place of work for at least two weeks since Stacia had arrived, though she had continued to work at home. Now it seemed that cleaning was in order, though AJ had deterred her plans with a quick phone call after rehersal. He had spoke about Brian's recent bought of injuries and his aversion to Nick and Stacia. Of course, Holly hadn't exactly been keen on Stacia seeing Nick either, but after hearing what had happened in Philadelphia... She didn't know what to do with her friend anymore. She seemed so lost in a sea of pain.

Walking into her office, she closed the door behind her before settling into her large leather chair. Turning to her computer, she clicked open a few files that held articles in process and sipped on her mug of chai tea latte as she read through the remaining notes. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she looked up to see her supervisor slip inside. "Morning, Derek."

"How's Stacia doing?" Derek asked, gesturing to the abundant collection of photographs littering Holly's desk. She loved to be reminded of her friends and family during the work hours, especially when Stacia had been so far away. In fact, Stacia seemed to be the center of most of the photographs.

"She's doing fine. I keep hoping I can convince her to move here so I wouldn't miss her so damn much," Holly forced a smile, taking another sip of her latte as Derek sat down in the chair across her desk. "So, what's up?"

"Your new assistant is here and I just wanted to introduce the both of you."

"Okay... just tell me one thing. He isn't obsessed with Alex, is he?"

"Not in the least," Derek chuckled, motioning for the man lingering in the hallway to enter. Standing up, he placed a hand upon the assistant's back. "Holly, this is Mr. Eric Tate."

"It's nice to meet you," Eric obliged, nodding to Holly before taking her hand in a firm shake. He was a tall man with a somewhat thick frame. Dressing in a pair of casual slacks and a buttoned dress shirt, he seemed to hide the power beneath his stature. Sandy blonde waves fell into his light gray eyes and his proud smile was almost dazzling. Confident. That's what he was.

"It's nice to meet you, Eric. Welcome to the team," Holly smiled. She liked people who could give proper, firm handshakes. He seemed pleasant and she knew he would be easy to work with.

"Thanks," Eric answered, allowing Derek to pat his shoulder before disappearing down the hallway. Pulling out his PDA, he settled onto the chair in front of Holly's desk. She seemed preoccupied for a moment, so he took notice to the photographs covering her desk. "She's beautiful."

"Hmm?" Holly looked up to see Eric glancing at the pictures of Stacia. "Oh! Thank you. That's Stacia, my best friend. We've known each other for years."

"Lucky you," Eric murmured, selecting one photograph from the menagerie. Settling in his seat, he studied the gorgeous woman posed on a seaside rock in her favorite bikini. Of course, he couldn't help the small twitch of a frown when he noticed the man beside her, holding her close. "Is she taken?"

"She's casually dating someone right now. Nothing serious," Holly watched him study Stacia's picture for a moment. She was used to men's reactions when they saw pictures of Stacia.

"You don't sound so happy about the casual dating," Eric noted, using his fingers to cover Brian's form within the photograph.

"He's a player," Holly shrugged as Eric finally placed the photo back on her desk. "She's just a flavor of the week for him."

"She deserves someone much better," Eric murmured, noticing the collection of photographs that had Stacia and Brian posing. "Is she close to Mr. Littrell?"

"They're best friends. When she's in town, they always spend time with Brian's son... they just have a connection."

"That's nice..."

"Yes, I just wish he'd take the plunge," Holly groaned suddenly, pushing herself away from the desk. Noticing some women walking past her office, she made sure to close her door and brace herself against it. "The things we talk about in this room do not leave this room unless it's in the form of my articles. Understand?"

"Understood."

"If anything gets leaked--"

"I understand that you're close with the Backstreet Boys and your focus of writing is dedicated to them. I've already signed a confidentiality form. I understand, Ms. Baker."

"As long as you understand," Holly nodded as she went back to sit at her desk. "I'm just protective of their privacy."

"You act as if Mr. Littrell is having an affair with your friend," Eric chuckled.

"It's anything but an affair--"

"I'm afraid I don't understand..."

"It's... Brian..." Holly stumbled with her words, taking another sip of her drink. "There's a lot of attraction between them. Things start up when they're alone, but he always stops it because he remembers he's still married."

"So Stacia is a tease?"

"God, no! She just has this aura that many men, not just Brian, find alluring."

"So she doesn't care for him--"

"She loves him," Holly argued, leaning back in her thick leather chair to continue sipping on her latte. "She's loved him ever since they first met."

"I still don't understand how they can have that kind of friendship while he's still married to Leighanne. Hasn't she said anything about them?"

"Leighanne is busy with her own career and affairs. She doesn't love Brian and she never will. That's why he needs Stacia. I was hoping that the party we'll be attending at the end of this week would maybe bring them together... But she's going with Nick and apparently Leighanne is going with Brian--"

"So Nick is the guy Stacia's seeing casually?" Eric interrupted with a raise of his eyebrow. "That must make Brian feel threatened."

"He won't admit it," Holly groaned, allowing Eric to take her mug to fill with the coffee that was brewing in the corner of her office. "It's not that Stacia is dating Nick to infuriate Brian... She just wants to enjoy her time here. And Nick is quite entertaining for her. But, God, if Brian would only realize..."

"Why doesn't he just divorce Leighanne? That would solve a lot of this drama," Eric handed her the mug.

"I wish I knew," Holly sighed, thanking her assistant for the fresh cup of coffee. Taking a long sip, she glanced up to Eric with a small smile. "This is the first time that I've actually been able to talk about this with someone objectively. Alex gets so defensive... But I think that's because he acts like Staci's father most of the time..."

"People become protected of the ones they care about," Eric replied with a simple shrug. "I can already tell that's how you are with Stacia -- but you're just trying to make her happy. You believe she has every right to be happy. With Mr. Littrell."

"They're just so perfect for each other..."

"But what happens when she moves back to Philly?"

Leaning up in her seat, she noticed Eric admiring another photograph of Stacia. An unsettling feeling washed over her and she quirked a light brow. "...Did I tell you that she lived in Philly?"

"No... I just assumed," Eric murmured, gesturing toward the photograph of Holly and Stacia at the Philadelphia Zoo. When she relaxed in her seat once more, he offered a soft grin and seated himself once more. "Tell me more about Stacia..."

Staring at the wealth of beautiful dresses lined on the walls, Stacia was quite hesitant to step inside the expensive store. That is till Holly grabbed the younger woman's wrist and pulled her inside. Brian and AJ were already greeting the designer who had practically begged to design party gowns for Stacia and Holly. The Backstreet Boys' return with a fresh single and a new album had hypnotized the public. They deseperately sought to find even mere glimpses of the men and their beloved. So, every designer was steadily working on being cased at the party. She had originally thought it would just be herself, Holly, and AJ looking at the dresses, but Brian had surprised them by showing up quite suddenly. She now just hoped that the conversations would steer away from her confession and focus on the party.

"Hol, these dresses are way too rich for my taste!" Stacia objected as they stepped into the fresh, vibrant store. The air almost seemed too expensive to breathe as Holly continued to pull on her wrist.

"The designer specifically picked out a selection for us to try. Whatever we like, we can have. Free of charge. They just want us to represent their labels so hopefully other women come to the store--"

"I am not a billboard," Stacia groaned, wanting to take a lesson from Baylee and flop onto the floor. She even thought she could tuck her arms against her chest and hold her breath till she turned blue.

"Billboards have writing on them. As far as I'm concerned, none of the dresses have that... unless you think writing the brand name across your boobs will help--"

Glancing down to the swell of her breasts tucked beneath a form-fitting sport's bra, Stacia actually grinned wryly. "They're big enough--"

"I was being sarcastic," Holly groaned as they reached the men and the designer.

"But I could get some serious ads--"

"Ads for what?" AJ interrupted with a raised eyebrow.

"My big t--"

"Stacia!"

"What?!"

"Hush up before you embarass yourself."

"I wouldn't be embarrassed," Stacia murmured, moving into the shop. Tucking her hands into the back pocket of her jeans, she watched AJ and Holly embrace the designer. They spoke for a few moments, gestured toward Stacia, and then moved to the dressing room. The assistant would look after Stacia's outfits, but she was preoccupied with Brian. He looked so downtrodden. "...Bear?"

"Hey, Staci-Gracie," Brian tried to give a cheerful smile as he turned to face her.

"What's wrong?"

"Just tired," Brian lied, dragging his good hand over his sandy blonde curls. He longed to tell her that he missed her terribly and hated that she would be going to the party with Nick. The media had already stirred a frenzy around the couple and every picture of Nick embracing Stacia had mysteriously ended up taped on the fridge each morning...

"You look like you need a nap," Stacia agreed, gently brushing her fingers across his forehead. "The busted wrist giving you pain?"

"A little bit," Brian nodded, closing his eyes to her touch. "The release of the new album keeps me up, too. We just want the fans to love it..."

"You don't have to worry about that," Stacia assured softly, leaning to press a soft kiss against his cheek. "The fans adore all of you, so of course they're going to love the music."

"I hope so."

"I know so."

"Yeah?" Brian opened his eyes with a small, true smile.

"I promise," Stacia answered with a firm nod.

"And that's one of the many reasons why you're in my thank you's--"

"I'm in your thank you's?" Stacia questioned with surprise when the designer's assistant suggested she go to the dressing room. Nodding, she twined her fingers with Brian's and led him toward her dressing room. A plush couch waited inside and she helped him take a seat. She was used to undressing in front of him, so it hadn't bothered her to keep him close. It had been the first time they had really talked since her dirty little secret surfaced.

"Of course. Why wouldn't you be?" Brian replied in his own tone of surprise as dresses were brought into the room.

"I don't know..." Stacia trailed with a shrug of her shoulders, fingering the delicate materials. "I just... Since Leighanne..."

"Staci, you know how much you mean to me. You're my best friend. It was only natural to put you in my thank you's."

"As long as I'm not the first one--" Seeing Brian's crestfallen facial expression, Stacia took in a sharp breath of air. "...I'm first?"

"Yes. You, then Baylee, the guys, Holly, my family--"

"People are going to think we're having a torrid affair--"

"Who cares what people think? You're my best friend and the people who know that matter."

"You used to care what people think..."

"And look where it led me..."

"...Where has it led you?"

"Do we need to talk about my home life?"

"Sometimes I wish we would."

"Stac--"

"Talking about it could help, Bear."

"Then you would have to talk about Philadelphia."

It was Stacia's turn to stiffen. And indeed she did, her fist clenching around the delicate silk fabric of a dress she had been eyeing. Turning, she appraised the seriousness in Brian's ceurlean blue eyes. No one had breathed a word of her secret since she had admitted what was the cause of her home's break-in. It was as if everyone were afraid of her reaction. Yet, there Brian sat, broken, and willing to take the risk. "Bear, that's different."

"You say talking about my home life could help. Talking about Philadelphia can do the same thing."

"I'm fine with what happened in Philly."

"Stacia, I know that's not true."

"It happens to tons of women in Philly all the time."

"Yeah, it happens to women all over the world. The difference is, a lot of women go to someone and talk about it. You haven't."

"There's nothing to say--"

"Staci..."

"It's not like I was a virgin," she laughed, focusing on the reflection in the mirror. Clenching her fists till they blanched white, she bit down hard on her bottom lip. "I gave that to you years ago."

"Not being a virgin doesn't have anything to do with it. Damnit, Staci, you need to talk about it. That's why you have those panic attacks and all those different medications."

"I take those medications to keep the panic attacks from coming."

"The panic attacks wouldn't even happen if you talked to someone about what he did to you."

"I really don't want to talk about it in public, Brian."

"You never want to talk about it."

"It's not exactly a high point in my life, Brian," Stacia snapped with annoyance, forcing herself into one of the dresses. Why Brian had come to the fitting just to stress the points of her inevitable breakdown was beyond her. She hated that he could poke and prod into her life where no one else seemed to be able to go. He knew her far too well and she hated that about him.

"I know it's not. But that isn't an excuse not to talk about it. You work in the emergency room. You've dealt with victims before and you know the repercussions when they try to block the trauma out of their mind."

"This isn't the place to talk about it," Stacia stressed softly when Holly started to chide the two about hiding in the dressing room. There was AJ's laughter followed by an unfamiliar voice. Tugging on one of the dresses, Stacia leaned into the door to observe the introductions, wondering why the voice was so familiar.

"Name a place we could talk about it."

"Brian--"

"I want a place."

"I don't have time to talk about it with Nick being--"

"Please don't use him as an excuse."

"I'm not using him as an excuse--"

"But you'll use him to make me jealous?"

"I'm not using him at all!"

"Then you're using me!"

"How can you say that I use you? I let you hold me and tell me how much you hate your wife. I let you give me those kisses that make my heart skip. I love you, Brian! Fuck, you know that I do!"

"I know--"

"Then you have no right to say I've used you!" Stacia slammed her palm against the wall of the dressing room. "I've been going out with Nick because he's sweet, funny and caring. He protects me. You can't do that. You have never been able to!"

"You've never given me the chance!"

"And I'd never want to because I'd probably die waiting," Stacia seethed, hearing the uncomfortable clearing of a throat from outside. Yanking one of the dresses from the hanger, she hurriedly stepped into the garment and then opened the dressing room door. Acting as if nothing had gone awry, she stepped toward AJ, Holly, and their new aquaintance. "What about this dress?"

"Ohh... umm... it looks nice," Holly tried to mutter a response. The tension built from Brian and Stacia's fight could be cut with a knife.

"I think you look lovely, Stacia," the aquaintance decided with a firm nod. His light gray eyes sparked with an intense interest when he noted her figure tucked into the beautiful sapphire colored dress. The skirt was short and flared with an empire waist. He traveled each curve presented, unable to help the lofty smile gracing his handsome face.

"And you are?" Stacia immediately questioned, tensing when she felt Brian step behind her.

"Oh! I'm Eric, Holly's new assistant. I've heard so much about you... it's like I know you," Eric offered another smile, holding his hand out to her.

"Nice to meet you," Stacia murmured, though she hadn't the immediate reaction to take his hand. Instead, she stepped back against Brian as if natural instinct and allowed the man to take Eric's hand instead. Narrowing her emerald eyes toward the man, she tensed when her skin seemed to crawl beneath his gaze.

"A little shy, I see..." Eric trailed off with a soft chuckle.

"That girl is not shy," AJ chuckled. "Hell, I thought she'd at least try to flirt..."

"Alex, don't start," Holly scorned, watching as Stacia's posture stiffened, allowing Brian to stand close to her.

"Holly's new assistant?" Brian suddenly asked when AJ prepared to retort, but ended up pressing a kiss to his lover's lips as means of an apology. Keeping a keen eye upon the new man, he frowned when Stacia actually shivered against him. Her hand curled over the lapel of his coat, wanting him nearer.

"Yes, I just started a couple of days ago," Eric replied, watching as Brian's arm slipped around Stacia's waist.

"Where did you come from?" Brian continued to question, tucking Stacia to his side and stepping forward as if to hide her. His right arm was still tucked into a sling to position the cast, but he made sure to hold her. Whatever fight had been brewing died quite quickly.

"From all over, but I moved here from the east coast."

"What state?"

"Am I being interrogated here?" Eric raised an eyebrow.

"Not all. Just curious, that's all."

"I'm from New Jersey," Eric murmured. "What about you?"

"Kentucky."

"I'm glad you learned the importance of shoes--"

"Excuse me? What are you trying to imply?" Brian's back stiffened. Any ill words against his background always made him defensive.

Eric chuckled and reached out to gently pat Brian's shoulder. "I'm just kidding. It's really nice to meet you, Brian. Holly has told me a lot about you."

"Good things, I hope," Brian replied. Stacia was almost shaking... something wasn't right.

"Enough to know that you're quite the lucky man right now," Eric agreed when Holly and AJ excused themselves so she could try on another dress. Instantly, Eric looked to Stacia and winked in Brian's direction. "Of course, I heard that you're not taking her to the party..."

"We're all going to be there..." Brian trailed off, not caring to divulge that Nick was going to be taking Stacia.

"But with different dates."

"Yes--"

"I'll be there," Eric promised, smiling toward Stacia. "I'll be working for Holly, but I wouldn't say no to a few dances--"

"I should go try on the other dresses," Stacia murmured toward Brian.

"Go ahead, Sweetheart," Brian relinquished his hold on her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Stacia."

"Likewise," Stacia nodded as she turned and walked back to the dressing room.

"If you stared any harder at her, I think her clothes would rip off from the sheer force," Brian growled toward the new man when the door to Stacia's dressing room closed sharply.

"She's a beautiful woman in case you didn't notice."

"Do you realize how uncomfortable you made her? Women aren't meant to be ogled at like a damn piece of meat."

"You're the one starting a fight with her in public."

"You're not one to be criticizing anything right now, Eric."

"Jealous, aren't you?"

"You have got some nerve, man. I will give you that much," Brian laughed in disbelief.

"Balls of steel too," Eric assured, throwing a wave toward Holly and AJ when they stepped out to admire her new dress. "I'm sure I'll be seeing Stacia soon. Tell her I said goodbye, would'ja?"

"Mm-hmm," Brian gave a curt nod as Eric sauntered out of the store.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Pushing herself off the foot of the bed, Stacia stepped toward the full length mirror in her guest room to observe her appearance once more. The designer dress that she had chosen fit like a dream. It was a beautiful jade green that accentuated the dark emerald green of her lovely eyes. The jersey knit was light and soft, caressing her curves quite delicately. It was sleeveless babydoll dress with an empire waist and a french knot detailing at the swell of her cleavage. The hem kissed the middle of her thighs. Flirty. That's what Holly had coined it. Yet, as beautiful as everyone thought her to be, she was still quite critical of the reflection. The bruises and abrasions had healed from the attack, but what was left underneath was still quite raw. In fact, she had doubled up on her medication just for tonight's event. Not that she dreaded being with Nick, because she adored him. But she feared seeing Brian with Leighanne... And Eric...

"That man is just fucking creepy," Stacia muttered to herself, attempting to move around the material of the dress. Maybe if she could hide a little more skin, it would be easier.

"Well, holy fuck, look what a bucket of cold water and a hard scrub brush can create!" AJ suddenly whistled when he rapped on the door of the guest room to catch Stacia's attention. He grinned proudly when he held his arms out to her, wholly impressed with the transformation from barefeet, jeans, and t-shirts to a gorgeous dress. "Baby, you are going to be on fire tonight!"

"You flatter me way too much, Alex," Stacia teased with a hard groan, though she pressed a kiss to his cheek nonetheless. Then, brushing some of the lipgloss off his cheek with her thumb, she moved back to the mirror in attempts to pull at the dress. "If I pull one way, I show way too much the other way..."

"Sweetie, don't tug on it. If it rips, Hols will put you six feet under before you can say 'holy monkey fuck'," AJ reached out and grabbed her hands. "You'll be more dressed than half of the women who will show up tonight and you look gorgeous."

"I look like I should be waiting on the corner," Stacia groaned when AJ pulled her into a warm embrace, keeping her from fussing once more.

"You do not. Do I need to remind you what J.Lo wore the year we were nominated for the Grammy's? That's a woman who should be waiting on the corner. Not you."

"My boobs are way too big to be handled by some flimsy double-sided tape!"

"True, but do you see what I'm saying minus the boob size difference?"

"I understand," Stacia promised with a curt nod, leaning forward to press another quick kiss of thanks to his lips. "Thanks for taking me in."

"Anytime, Stace. The nest gets a little empty when you're gone--"

"Then get started on filling the house with a couple kids."

"The thought has crossed my mind..."

"Well, get her in bed and get it done!"

"It takes more than that!" AJ laughed.

"Like what?!"

"Planning!"

"Who would have thought that Alexander McLean would want to plan for children," Stacia teased, blowing a wet raspberry to his cheek before fixing the loose tie looped around his neck. "Children are quite special and I understand. After all, you both want to be in the right place... Don't want anyone resenting the kid..."

"That and... I just want to make sure I can be a good dad."

"Of course you will be. Look at Tony -- he's the father you never had, and I know he's taught you a lot."

"Yeah..."

"Don't worry, Alex. You've been like a father to me, too. I'm not too fucked up."

"Thanks for the reassurance," AJ chuckled.

"You're welcome," Stacia chirped, allowing him to play with her newly straightened golden locks. "Amazing what straightening irons can do, right? Think Nick will like it?"

"Without a doubt," AJ twirled a finger around a piece of her locks. "You look good with straight hair."

"...Brian won't notice because Leighanne will be there..." Stacia murmured, more to herself than AJ. Chewing on her glossed bottom lip, she fought the hard ball of pressure growing within her chest. Their fight at the designer store had been horribly embarrassing, but Eric's entrance had curbed it somewhat. Still, Brian had yet to talk to her again. It seemed like they grew close and then parted when they grew too close...

"You ever think that maybe he notices, but can't say anything because of the fact that she's there? You know how she treats him when you're around."

"If he just left her--"

"Believe me, I know."

"I don't even know why I keep busting my ass over it and fighting with him. I absolutely refuse to be his whore and he absolutely refuses to leave his wife. We're just not going to win the battle... Besides, Nick's a great guy..."

"Stace... don't settle. That wouldn't be fair to you or Nick if the only reason you chose him was because you can't be with Brian."

"I'm not settling," Stacia promised, walking across the room to retrieve her strappy heeled sandals for the evening. "I really enjoy spending time with Nick. He knows how to make me laugh and he always has this way of trying to touch me. Like when I laugh he'll pull me close to make me laugh harder. I just... I feel safe with him."

"I know. But you're young... you don't need to worry about all thay drama having a steady relationship," AJ tried to joke. "I've spent too many nights on the couch--"

"Alex! I'm not considering a serious relationship and neither is he. We just like the sex--"

"STACIA!"

"What I do?!"

"You do not have sex with Nick!"

"...Do you really want me to answer that?"

"You are going to give me a damn heart attack!"

"Well, do you really want to know or not--"

"God no!" AJ groaned with a hard shudder, pointing an accusing finger in her direction. "You two are not going to the party by yourselves tonight. God only knows what the fuck would happen! You'd never make it! And... Jesus, I don't want to know!"

"Calm down, Alex," Stacia laughed. "Little upset that your girl is growing up?"

"My little girl and my little brother! Oh God... that's... that's INCEST!"

"Jesus, Alex, we're not doing anything that damn kinky!"

"It's wrong!"

"We're not doing anything!"

"You just said--"

"I was just teasing," Stacia groaned, leaning out into the hallway. "Holly! Come get your man before he has a heart attack over my sex life!"

"You just need to stop giving him grief," Holly laughed, her heels clacking softly as she walked into the bedroom.

"I can't help it that he has a morbid fascination with my sex life," Stacia pouted, though she smiled nonetheless at Holly's entrance. The woman had decided upon the kimono inspired dress from the designer. It was a black mini-dress with long bell sleeves and a deep v-neck and all the hemming was accentuated by a gorgeous white lace. "God, you're hot, Hollywood."

"I try," Holly laughed with a smile as she kissed Stacia's cheek. "You look beautiful, Stace-Grace."

"Thank you," Stacia accepted with a dark blush accentuating her cheeks.

"Now aren't you glad we brought you to that designer? You got the perfect dress."

"I would have been perfectly happy in my jeans and a t-shirt," Stacia answered, though she grinned when she heard Nick bellow from the living room. Snatching her sandals from the bed, she flipped her hair behind her bare shoulders and hurried down the stairs. "Nicky!"

"Hey, Sweetie! Wow, you look amazing!" Nick grinned as she jumped into his arms.

"Not really, but thanks for saying so," Stacia murmured with a soft smile when his lips naturally brushed over hers. Cupping the back of his neck within her hands, she deepened the kiss into a hungry need, delighted by the soft moan he exuded. Somehow, she always felt the need to prove herself to him. Wanting to show him that she was interested as if she could lie to her heart.

"I mean it," Nick whispered against her lips as their foreheads connected.

"So you approve of the dress?" she questioned against his lips, smiling when he pulled her against him, allowing her legs to wrap about his waist.

"Oh, I definitely approve--"

"Would you stop man-handling her in my house?" AJ suddenly grunted as he walked down the steps. He glared at the way the two were embraced, looking back to his lover in exasperation. As close as he was to Nick, he couldn't help but feel that Nick was just looking for a physical connection with Stacia while Brian was on the outs.

"Touchy," Nick clicked his tongue in annoyance he let Stacia back to the floor.

"He's just protective," Stacia made excuse for AJ.

"Extremely protective," AJ agreed, glaring at the way Nick's arm slid around Stacia's waist and his hand rested on the inner curve of her hip. "You two are going straight to the party, right?"

"Yes, Papa, we're going straight to the party--"

"Don't play with me, Nick."

"Alex, we're going straight to the party. I promise," Stacia replied.

AJ looked to Holly quite skeptically before looking to Stacia. "I still think you guys should ride with us--"

"Alex, trust me. Please," Stacia interrupted. "We'll be at the party on time."

"You better be," AJ grunted when Holly slipped an hand on his arm.

"We're going now..." Stacia trailed, reaching for Nick's hand after pushing her feet into the heeled sandals. Watching AJ just stare at Nick as if he were vermon, she tensed and gently tugged on Nick's hand to lead him out the door. She could hear Holly and AJ whispering in the background when she shut the door and something about 'Rape Trauma Syndrome,' but decided to ignore it.

"Y'know, I'd gladly ditch the party to get some one-on-one with you, Babe," Nick decided with a smirk as he led her to the driveway where his Escalade was waiting. Guding her to the passenger's side, he helped her in and then leaned on her legs to catch her lips in a soft, sensual kiss.

"I know you would," Stacia purred, gently running her fingers through his wild blonde locks. He tried much too hard to steal her away in the privacy of locked bedrooms, but she wasn't ready for that commitment. The very thought of engaging in a sexual activity caused her entire body to clench with fear... Though, when Brian had tried... "But we do need to go to the party. You've got to make your appearances. Maybe afterwards."

"I'll be keeping you to that suggestion," Nick warned with a smirk as he kissed her again and hopped into the driver's side.

"There was absolutely no doubt in my mind, Nicky," Stacia laughed, reaching to play with the stereo system as he buckled himself in and backed out the driveway.

"Well good," Nick leaned over and kissed her cheek as she finally settled on Unbreakable, the guys' new CD.

"And you already know that I can't manage to pay attention through a ballad to save my life, so don't get upset when my fingers are constantly on the buttons," Stacia warned when she leaned back in her seat and reached for the seatbelt. Pulling to secure it over her chest and waist, she then tucked her bare legs beneath her and leaned forward to to settle on a fast tempo song. "...And I'd be really grateful if we kept far away from Holly's new assistant tonight... Even if he wants to put you on a front page spread of Playboy or some shit."

"He makes you feel uncomfortable?" Nick took his eyes off the road for a moment to glance at her.

"With all the drunks guys that come into the ER on a daily basis, I've gotten used to men trying to put their hands everywhere you don't want and looking at you as if they can see right through your clothes... But..." Heaving a soft sigh, Stacia tucked a few strands of blonde locks behind her pierced ears, glancing in the side mirror to note approaching headlights. "Something about him just ain't right..."

"We'll stay away from him tonight," Nick reached over and threaded his fingers through hers. "The last thing I want is to see you uncomfortable. Don't worry about him, okay?"

"Alright," Stacia accepted with a small nod, bringing their hands to her lips for a quick kiss. "And keep me away from Leighanne. I'd hate to have to rip her new weave out in front of photographers."

"God, that would be priceless, though," Nick laughed heartily, remembering more than one occasion when Leighanne had tried to start something with Stacia and merely ended up embarassing herself.

"It would upset Brian."

"Yeah, I guess so," Nick reluctantly agreed. "We'll steer clear of her tonight."

"Some days I just think I shouldn't be staying with Alex and Holly anymore. That I should just move back to Philly and maybe find a place in the suburbs. I forgot all the drama that happens when I come to visit," Stacia murmured, looking to the side mirror once more to see the headlights that had been approaching suddenly lurch with a thrust of speed. "...What the fuck is this idiot doing?"

"I don't know..." Nick looked into the rearview mirror and had to turn away when the vehicles brights turned on. "Jesus Christ!"

Blinded by the sudden explosion of bright lighting, Nick's hand jerked from Stacia's grip in hopes to reach the steering wheel. The Escalade swayed precariously on the road, veering off onto the rumble strips. Yet the car behind them hadn't seemed to notice nor car, instead speeding up till the bumpers connected. The power of the hit sent Stacia forward and her head connected sharply with the dashboard. "Nick, tell him to stop!"

"Hold on!" Nick gritted, clenching the wheel tightly with one hand. His other reached outside the window and he made a gesture for the other driver to go around.

Immediately, the headlights exploded with another surge of brightness, reflecting off the mirrors and causing Nick to grunt. He struggled to catch the wheel once more when they swayed, but the car behind them increased its speed. The Escalade began to squeal in objection, but the driver behind them continued to lay upon the gas, loosening their control of the Escalade. Soon, they found themselves at a loss when a somewhat steep enbankment approached.

"Fuck, he's trying to crash us!"

But Stacia didn't have any time to reply to Nick's realization when the car behind stopped for a moment and rammed them with all the power he could muster. The sharp squealing of tires when Nick hit the breaks was powerless to stop them. And the Escalade flipped. Rolling down the embankment, the couple was encased in thousands of pounds of crushing steel and glass. And the last sound Stacia could distinguish was the reversing of a damaged car.

"They're late," AJ repeated yet again as he glanced at his watch yet again. The youngest couple still hadn't arrived to the party, which made him think the worst when he remembered the look on Nick's face when he saw Stacia in her dress. "I warned that little shithead--"

"Sweetheart, they'll be here soon. Maybe they got stuck in traffic," Holly tried to assuage her lover's anxiety, placing a hand on his arm.

"Maybe Nick played that stupid trick of the car being broke down on some side of an empty road," AJ grunted while they passed through the crowds of people toward their designated table of the evening. Howie and his fiancee were currently touring the dance floor while Brian and Leighanne waited at the table. The older blonde was mesmerized by her reflection in the compact mirror. Brian, looking up from his plate of untouched food, caught AJ's smoldering glare before looking to the entrance of the club. No sign of them.

"Stace doesn't fall for that old routine. They'll be here soon," Holly repeated as they sat down at the table. She took a sip from her glass of water. They were running late, but it wasn't anything to worry about. Stacia was always a few minutes late.

"Nick picked her up from your house and didn't think to just hitch a ride with you guys?" Brian questioned softly, looking to them with concern. He hadn't spoken to Stacia since the disaster at the designer's, but he still worried. Even with Leighanne towering over his actions, he worried about the one woman in the world who cared for him.

"No... you know how Nick is with his entrances--"

"Have you tried calling her cell phone?"

"Several times," AJ assured, watching Leighanne slip away from the table to a small collection of men.

"And she doesn't answer?"

"Nope. It goes straight to voicemail."

"Voicemail? She always has her phone on..."

"I told you, Nick is fucking her senseless--"

"ALEX! Enough of that, please!"

"Why?" AJ stressed, looking to Holly to avoid Brian's pained expression. "It's true."

"You have no idea if that's true or not. You ever think that Stacia was just trying to get a rise out of you?"

"She--"

"Wouldn't have sex with Nick. No matter how pissed she was with me," Brian stressed.

"Exactly," Holly immediately replied.

"Besides, they're just friends..."

"They were acting like more than friends tonight, Brian."

"Alex, that does not mean they're having sex and if you keep talking about it, I swear to God..."

"What do you mean?" Brian questioned.

"Bri-Rok, it's nothing. Alex just looks into things too much--"

"Holly, be honest..."

"It's just... she..." Holly sighed heavily, giving AJ a look. Being at the party with Leighanne was hard enough for Brian. "They were being pretty affectionate..."

"...Affectionate?"

"Hugging... a few kisses--"

"She mentioned wanting to settle down with him," AJ answered softly, knowing that Brian had a right to know the details. She may have joked about it, but the seriousness in her emerald eyes had taken all the laughter away.

"Alex, she didn't mean that!" Holly burst as she watched Brian's posture slack even more.

"He needs to know, Sweetheart."

"Stacia is never going to settle down with Nick and telling him this is just going to make things worse."

"She deserves to be happy," Brian murmured softly before the couple could engage in a heated discussion. Leaning against the back of his chair, he released a pained sigh and covered his face with his hands. He could hear Leighanne's laughter floating from somewhere within the center of the party and knew that she didn't need him. She never had. But Stacia...

"Brian, she'll never persue any kind of future with Nick," Holly disagreed.

"Why not? He's absolutely infatuated with her."

"She's not infatuated with him. That's the difference."

"She's infatuated with you," AJ grunted toward Brian.

"AJ..."

"What? You know she is. The whole damn world knows she is and you're still with that bitch who doesn't care two shits about you."

"It's not that simple."

"Why? Don't you love Stacia?"

"Of course I do--"

"Then why don't you leave Leighanne? What is holding you back?"

"A lot of things."

"What? God-damnit, Brian, tell me what!"

"I can't!"

"Why the Hell not?!"

"Would you two please keep your voices down?" Holly stressed, feeling the incessant buzzing of her cell phone. Slipping a hand into her small purse, she retrieved the phone and called for calmness.

"As soon as he fucking tells me what--"

"Is this Ms. Baker?"

"Yes, this is she," Holly placed a hand against AJ's mouth as she pressed the phone close to her ear. "Who may I ask is calling?"

"This is the Los Angeles Emergency Center--"

"Emergency Center? What are... Oh God, is Stacia alright?!"

"Stacia Lord came into our Emergency Department awhile ago, Ma'am. Looking at her wallet, we noticed that you were to be notified in case of an emergency. She's had a car accident--"

"I'll be right there. Thank you," Holly closed her phone, grabbed her purse and stood up. "We need to go. Now."

"Go where?" AJ questioned in confusion, yelping when he was yanked out of his chair.

"Stacia and Nick have been in an accident. That's why they were late," Holly turned to Brian, whose face had turned pale. "Sweetheart, come on!"

"Are they okay?" Brian questioned softly, immediately grabbing his jacket wrapped around the back of his chair. He stumbled for a moment, but quickly regained his footing to follow Holly. His heart suddenly ached at the thought of Stacia being--

"Just where do you think you're going?" Leighanne had broken away from her little group of men to see her husband leaving and had no doubt it had something to do with Stacia.

Feeling a hand tighten around the neck of his tie and yank him backward, Brian choked suddenly, "The hospital--"

"You're not going anywhere!"

"The Hell I'm not! Nick and Stacia have been in an accident--"

"Then the little whore got what she deserves!" Leighanne growled, tightening her grip.

"Let go of me, Leigh," Brian grunted with determination.

"I don't fucking think so--"

"Now, Leighanne," Brian growled, grabbing her hand and practically crushing her wrist. She yelped suddenly and released the back of his shirt. Pushing her away, he continued through the door.

"You're going to get it once your ass is home!" He heard her screech after him as he reached Holly and AJ's car.

"Just go," he breathed painfully when he climbed into the backseat.

"What the Hell happened?" Holly turned in her seat as AJ revved the engine and sped out of the parking lot.

"Leighanne didn't want me to leave."

"You're out of breath, what did she do to you?"

"Bitched at me," Brian murmured, pushing on the back of AJ's carseat. He rubbed his wet face on the sleeve of his dress shirt, feeling his entire body trembling. Not from the encounter with Leighanne, but the pain of knowing Stacia was hurt. "Can you please hurry to the hospital?"

"I'm going as fast as I can, bro. We'll be there soon," AJ manuevered the vehicle in and out of traffic, his foot almost pressed down to the floor.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian wasn't sure that he waited for AJ to park the car when he lept from it. Hitting the concerete somewhat hard, he stumbled, but continued his pursuit into the Emergency Room. His entire body was powered by the rush of fear and adrenaline. His heart throbbing painfully within his chest while his lungs worked to supply oxygen to his burning muscles. He worried that it was too late. He had wasted so much time playing with Stacia's emotions and now she was... Well, she could be...

"Brian! Wait!" Holly called after him as she and AJ rushed inside the building as well. She was just as worried about Stacia, but she knew if Brian began rambling like a maniac to the nurses, nothing would get accomplished nor would they hear any news.

"Jesus Christ, when did he turn into Hercules?" AJ gasped, reaching out to sink a hand on Brian's shoulder and haul him backward. The man struggled underneath the weight, but AJ worked to pin him quickly. "Calm down, Brian!"

"I need to know... I need to know... Stacia!" Brian muttered, trying to escape from AJ's hold.

"Brian. Brian!" Holly cupped the older man's flushed face. "Sweetheart, calm down. I'm going to talk to the nurses and find out what's going on. I need you to stay here, okay?"

"I don't want her to die, Holly," Brian whimpered painfully, rubbing his teary face in attempts to stop the flow.

"I'll be damned if that happens. Just stay here and wait for me, alright? Be strong for Stacia; she's going to need it," Holly pressed a kiss to his forehead and stood up, walking over to the nurses station.

"You've got a nasty bruise forming on your neck, 'Rok," AJ announced quietly, loosening his hold slightly when Brian slumped within his arms. Leading him toward the waiting room, he settled the man in a hard plastic chair before taking a seat himself.

"I ran into something. Not a big deal," Brian mumbed, running a hand through his sweaty, gelled curls.

AJ frowned and looked at the way the bruising wrapped around the man's neck. Having unbuttoned his dress shirt and loosened the tie, the markings were entirely too visible. "Maybe we should have you get looked at too--"

"J, please... we're here for Stacia. I'm fine," Brian insisted.

"But you're struggling to breathe--"

"I'm having a panic attack--"

"Stace's strong."

"I know she is, but... if something happened and I wasn't able to... if she didn't know... I..."

"You're feeling guilty..."

"Wouldn't you? I haven't been exactly honest with my feelings for her..." Brian reached back to rub his neck, but the pain flared and he winced, hoping AJ wouldn't notice.

"And what are your feelings?"

"I love her. God, I love her more than my own life..."

"What's keeping you from loving her like you want to? Why don't you just leave Leighanne?"

"Because leaving Leigh would cause such an uproar," Brian sighed, rounding his shoulders forward with the utmost regret. "She hates Stacia so much and to know... I mean... She already... I'm afraid she would try to hurt Staci if she knew... I can't risk it..."


"So you're just going to stay with Leighanne? Allow her to spend your money, yell at your son and beat the shit out of you?"

"If that keeps Stacia safe--"

"But what about you? Who will keep you safe?"

"I can protect myself and she doesn't beat me--"

"The Hell she doesn't."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know enough to realize that you're not stupid enough to trip over one of Baylee's toys and fall down the stairs. You always yell at the kid for leaving his toys on the stairs, so he doesn't do anymore."

"He's only four, he can't remember all the time--"

"How long are you going to keep lying, B?"

"I'm not lying--"

"One day she's going to go too far. And you won't do anything, because you were taught to never--"

"Nothing is going to happen!"

"If Stacia knew--"

"She's doesn't know. She never will know. And there isn't anything TO know!"

"I'll tell her if you don't--"

"There's nothing to tell!"

AJ opened his mouth to object, but the sound of Nick's voice caught him. Turning, he watched the lanky blonde moved from the depths of the Emergency Room hallway. He shuffled with pain, but AJ was relieved to see that he was upright. "Hey guys," he murmured, playing with the strap of the sling wrapped over his left arm. "Have you heard about Stacia?"

"What the Hell happened, man? You were supposed to go straight to the party--"

"We were heading straight to the party," Nick objected, wilting into the nearby seat and watching as Holly spoke in depth with a man dressed in a white lab coat. Turning slightly, he avoided the dark glare in Brian's eyes and focused on AJ. "We were talking about the party and some asshole blinded me with his headlights--"

"Why didn't you tell him to go around?" Brian interrupted.

"I did, but he sped up and was riding my ass--"

"Are you sure you didn't flip him off?" AJ accused.

"Fuck J, I'm alright, y'know. I could have died when the fucking vehicle flipped down a damn embankment. But hey, let's just focus on the fact that it was my fault!" Nick growled with annoyance, motioning toward the cuts and bruising littering his handsome face. Despite the bruising, the only other remanants of an accident was the sling. He was lucky.

"You do stupid shit when people piss you off on the road, I had to ask!"

"I didn't do a fucking thing to that crazy bastard!"

"Then why would he run you off the road?"

"I don't know, okay?!"

Wanting a clearer answer, Brian had hoped to press his younger friend but Holly came rushing back from speaking with the doctor. Taking a moment to embrace the young man and offer her own relief that he wasn't terribly hurt, she then looked to AJ with the utmost worry. Her dark blue-gray eyes were misty with unshed tears and she sniffled when AJ wrapped her in a comforting embrace. "She's getting out of surgery now. She always sits with her legs tucked underneath her and when the car flipped... She did some really serious damage to her knee. And they said she has a really bad concussion and probably won't wake up until tomorrow--"

"Can we see her soon?" Brian immediately asked, forgetting about Nick for a moment as he studied Holly.

"They said when she gets out of recovery that we can see her for a few minutes in her room. But they don't want us there for long... But if she wakes up by herself... Someone has to spend the night--"

"Brian, why don't you stay?" AJ suggested.

"What?"

"It will give Leighanne a chance to cool down, Baylee's with Kevin for the night, Nick needs to go home and rest--"

"I can stay with her if he doesn't want to," Holly interupted, shooting Brian a disappointed glance.

"No, of course I want to. I just immediately assumed Holly would say she--"

"She's going to want you at her side, whether or not you mistreat her emotions."

"I... Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright. I'll stay with her tonight."

"If you don't want to just say--"

"If I didn't want to, why would I agree to stay?"

"Because you feel pressured--"

"Brian needs to stay with her," AJ objected softly, curbing his lover's accusations. He rubbed her back soothingly, hating that she was trembling so. "...I think you need to tell her what you told me."

"If we have a chance to talk," Brian took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I will."

"You don't even act like you want to stay," Nick suddenly grunted, looking to Brian before catching AJ and Holly. "Maybe I should stay?"

"No, you're going home to rest," Holly replied before Brian could even speak. "They need to talk, if she is coherent enough and time without you around would be the best time."

Nick groaned, "They're not going to get together, Holly--"

"Nicker, for once, just don't. Okay?"

"Don't what, Holly? Stacia has been dating me for weeks and you're just going to let Brian go in there? Don't I have any say in it?" Nick growled with contempt, shooting Brian a dark glare. "All he does is break her heart. She didn't even want to see him at the party."

"Because of the trouble Leighanne would start," Holly growled right back, staring Nick down. "I have the say in who stays with Stacia, not you. Brian will be staying with her tonight."

"She wants me," Nick stressed, looking pointedly to Brian. "She told me to ask her out."

"I am not going to tell you again," Holly stood up, her posture defiant and strong. "You are going home. Brian is staying here. You don't have a choice."

"She's just going to call me when she wakes up," Nick continued to fight, though he snatched his bag of belongings from the seat.

"If she chooses to, that's fine. But she'll say I did the right thing in making you go home and rest. The last thing you need is to sleep in these awful hospital chairs after an accident."

"We'll call you later, Nick," AJ promised, nodding his head toward the doors. Nick, defeated, muttered a sharp string of curses and stormed from the hospital. Releasing a hard breath, he looked to Brian who sat silently within his chair. "Are you going to stay?"

"Why do you keep asking me? I said I would and before you ask me again, yes it's because I want to," Brian finally spoke, rubbing the back of his neck while avoiding the bruises.

"You're scared," AJ murmured softly. "But you need to tell her that you love her, B."

"I know... I know I do."

"We're lucky she wasn't hurt worse--"

"Believe me, I know that better than anyone and I am thanking God."