"Hi girl! Hi 'nother girl! Hi!"
Jake clung to my hand as I walked him towards the preschool room. Women left and right were melting in his path. I don't know whether it was his smile, his little polo shirt, or the fact that he kept trying to moonwalk backwards as I was propelling us forward.
"Here we go, buddy," I said. I stopped and pushed open a door with a colorful 'A-B-C' banner.
The amount of noise was right around 'roaring jet plane' level. Jake was totally in his element. He dropped my hand and ran right into the center of the room.
"I'm here! I'm here!" he announced.
I spoke with one of the teachers for a few minutes while Jake figured out what all the others kids were doing. When I was satisfied that my contact information was current and they would call me in a second if they needed me, I found my little blonde cupid by the blocks.
"I'm going to go to work," I said. Jake looked up. "Can't you stay and play?"
My heart melted; I smiled and knelt down. "I wish I could, but I can't. People need my help."
I opened my arms and he ran in for a big hug. He gave me a wet kiss and patted my cheek.
"Take a lot of breaks," he said wisely. I laughed and stood up. Jake's big blue eyes stayed on me until the door closed behind me. I sighed.
This was the hardest part. I would have loved to be a stay at home mom, but that was impossible. All I could do was make sure Jake spent his days in an environment that promoted learning and play.
He was already too smart for his own good.
I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. Lauren had been acting jerky all night. Any time I tried to bring up Jake, she changed the subject. Now my resident-cuddler was leaving me cold.
I got out of bed. The first place I checked was the gym; Lauren sometimes got her workout out of the way first. But the room was empty.
I struck out in the kitchen, studio, and mancave. I headed back up to our room.
Dumbass me never checked our master bathroom. I saw a pair of long, bare legs and a waterfall of hair shielding a pair of shaking shoulders. Damnit, she was crying.
"Laur?"
Her breath caught in her throat. "Not now, Nick."
I ignored her. I walked in and sat on the tub. I leaned down and pushed my face towards hers. She sat up and flipped her hair. Her eyes were completely red-rimmed.
"What did I do?" I asked. I was old enough and wise enough to know that when she cried, nine times out of ten it was something I did. Or said. Or didn't say.
Relationships were fuckin' complicated.
"You're a dad," she said numbly.
"Did it just hit you?" I asked. She nodded. She scooted over on the toilet seat. I took that as an invitation. Half my ass hung in mid-air, but I still managed to squeeze in beside her.
"I'm sorry I said what I said last night," she mumbled. "I just..." she exhaled. "You've gone on millions of trips, but you've never come home and said - surprise! I met my three year old today!"
I wrapped an arm around her slender waist. "Yeah, I know. If it helps, you should have seen my face when he ran by me. I thought I was hallucinating."
Lauren's pretty eyes looked up into mine. "He looks that much like you?"
I nodded. "He does. The hair, the eyes, his inability to sit still."
That made her laugh. I brushed one lingering tear from her cheek. "I love you," I said softly. It was something I had told Lauren more than any other girl I had ever dated. The best part was that I still meant it.
"I love you too," she said. I kissed her softly. My hand drifted to her leg. My fingers snaked up towards the hem of her terry cloth sleep shorts. Her lips curved into a smile.
"Don't think we're done talking," she said lightly. I groaned. She giggled and hugged my head to her chest. I grinned.
If I could keep my head where it was; I would talk all day.
"I drewed on the chawkboard and then I got a sticker and then I ate cheese!"
Those were the highlights of a three-year-old's day.
Jake was stomping next to me. The whole class had made dinosaur feet out of Kleenex boxes. He refused to take them off; as a result, it was taking us ten times longer to get to the car.
"It's raining outside. We don't want your dino feet to get wet," I said. I prayed he wouldn't try to argue with him. I shook open my umbrella while he hopped out of the boxes. I shoved them in my huge bag and took his hand.
"Ready?" I asked. He nodded. "Ready!"
We ran out of the building and took off across the parking lot. Chicago rain was ruthless; even with an umbrella it flew it a million different directions. By the time I beeped the car open, we were both soaked. Jake's hair was plastered to his forehead. I scooped him up and put him in his seat. I shook out the umbrella and put it beside him.
"You're gonna drown!" Jake squealed. I had to agree with him. I closed the door and opened the driver's side. By the time I got in, I was soaked to the bone. I yanked at my shirt and flicked the water streaming into my eyes. The idea of going home and fixing dinner seemed like servile torture.
"Want some McNuggets for dinner?" I asked. Jake smacked at the umbrella.
"Mc-Noo-gets!" he screamed. "And honey! And fetch fries!"
Usually I corrected him, but some things were too cute to stop. I glanced at the rearview mirror, put the car in reverse, and stepped on the gas.
A second later there was a crunch, a sickening dragging, and an angry yellow light on my dash.
I had run over something. I pressed my soggy forehead to the wheel and struggled not to curse. Jake would be repeating anything I said for weeks.
As a result of my intense concentration of inner rage, I wasn't prepared for the hard rap on my window. I flew back and screamed. Jake started screaming in tandem.
My heart was in my throat and I was a second away from peeing my pants. All I saw outside my window was a figure all in black.
Death.
