"You're scum. You're more than scum. You're the scum that grows on scum."
My hands were pressed tightly to Jake's ears. He was squirming, but I didn't care.
"You dumped me," Kev replied. I don't know how I had ever found him attractive. I just kept seeing his hand looped around Francie's waist. How many more women had he slept with since I last saw him?
"You cheated on me!"
"I told you it was a weak moment."
I wanted to strangle him, but it would have meant letting go of Jake. I hissed so hard that I let out a whistle.
"So, I dump you and you run to L.A. and track down, of all people, my sister? You're a fucking jackass."
He looked down. Jake squirmed more.
"I didn't know Francie was your sister."
The words floated in the air between us. We both knew that was a lie.
"I told you my mother and sister were on Heartbeat. I told you who my mother was. You might be a sonovabitch, but you're not dumb."
Kevin had the audacity to produce a tear. Jake grabbed my hand, but I barely felt it.
"I guess I was hoping some day you'd come to see your mom or your sister and I'd see you again," he said huskily. It was the same tone he had used while banging me up against my bathroom sink. "I'm only with her because it makes me feel closer to you. I love you."
I let go of Jake's ears and scooped him up. He hand rubbed at his lobes in annoyance. My eyes were trained on Kevin. He stepped forward and stroked my cheek, his eyes full of hope. He was waiting for me to melt. I had a different plan. I steeled myself.
"Tell me if this is close enough," I spat.
And I shoved the toe of my shoe right into his crotch.
"Can you watch Jake?"
Shay sounded like she had snorted honey. Her voice was level, but it was the type of level that was a half a shot away from crazy.
"What's wrong?"
"Long story."
"I've got time. I also have a Subway that's located absolutely half-way between your house and mine."
"Nick..."
"Let me come over. It's dinner time. If you're sick of me after a sub, then I'll take Jake and you can be alone."
Shay snorted. "I'm only using you for the sub."
I smiled. "That's okay."
Forty-five minutes later, Jake opened the door, eyeing the light yellow bags I was holding.
"I'm real hung-ee," he said. He stepped back. "I didn't get lunch and the wormies in my tummy are going NUM NUM NUM!"
"Why do you have wormies in your tummy?" I asked. I couldn't help it; I friggin' loved the way his mind worked.
"Because they help me chew my food!" Jake explained. I held out his bag and he took it, dunking his head halfway in. "Woast beef!"
Shay was pouring lemonade as I followed Jake into the kitchen. She looked up at me and sighed.
"Jake was telling me he didn't get lunch. What happened?"
"A crazy lady with balloon boobies told mommy we had to go to the dungeon," Jake said. He yanked his sandwich out and flapped the kitchen packets in the air. I took one and tore the corner with my teeth. I didn't take my eyes off of Shay.
"Balloon boobies?"
"I went to the gym before work. I wanted to get everything out of the way and just be a bum tonight," she explained. "But I ran into my sister."
"She has balloon boobies?"
"Let the boobies go," Shay said. I slid her turkey sandwich towards her. She pulled it out of the wrapper and played with her packet of low-fat mayo. I flipped my chair around and straddled it. After all, it was the only way to eat a sub.
"What happened? You two don't get along?"
"Like oil and water," Shay said with a smirk. "She forced me into going to see her and mom on the soap set."
I thought hard. The first day we had met Shay had mentioned her mom was on a soap opera. It was...
"Heartbeat," I said aloud. Shay nodded. "The one and only."
"It didn't go so well?"
Shay laughed. She applied the mayo and smacked her bun back down. "It was a train wreck. Mom told Jake he could call her Tiffany. She proceeded to walk around talking to Jake like he had just graduated with a Master's Degree in visual Communication. When I explained that she was being ridiculous, she decided to take a jab at me."
"And we saw Kevin/Blake!" Jake said.
It wasn't the right time for my to take a big bite of my sandwich. A pepperocini slid down my throat the wrong way causing me to sputter. I downed half the lemonade, still feeling the burn.
"You saw who?"
"We saw Kevin," Shay said. She yanked a piece of lettuce off and started to gnaw. "He's a new character on the soap. And he's dating my sister."
"Balloon boobies?"
Shay gave me a look. I rubbed my throat. "You're joking right. Did you tell him your mom and sister were the stars?"
"Of course I did!" Shay exclaimed. She lifted her sandwich and took a big bite. I watched her chew vigorously as if she was going to grind the thing into nothingness.
"Then why the hell--"
"He said," Shay said quietly. "that he was only dating her because it made him feel closer to me."
My anger pot, that was already bubbling at the sound of Kev's name, boiled over. I had used a lot of shitty ass lines in my life, but that took the cake.
"You've got to be kidding me," I said coldly.
"Oh, that's not it," Shay said. She flushed. "He told me he loved me. Then he stroked my cheek."
"And mommy hurted my ears cause she wouldn't let them go!" Jake added. He handed me another ketchup packet. I tore this one with my fingers. "What did you do?"
Shay leaned over and cupped Jake's ears. He rolled his eyes and sighed. I handed the ketchup packet back to him. "I did the only thing I could. I sent his junk so far up his ass that he'll be pissing out his throat."
Shay dropped her hands. I stared at her for a long moment. Then I smiled.
"Thatta girl." I was expecting Shay to laugh, or to hold up a fist and mimic the movement. Instead she began to cry.
"It's not fair. Why can't I meet a nice guy? I don't want to spend my life kicking guys in the gonads."
I didn't know how to answer that. I stared at her, my mouth open, while she dabbed at her face with one of the brown earth-friendly Subway napkins.
"Hey mommy?"
Jake was watching her in concern. He held out his hand. Shay smiled weakly and took it.
"What buddy?"
"It's going to be okay. Daddy's nice. He's gonna take care of us."
Jake smiled at me proudly. I couldn't help it; his wisdom hit home. I wrapped my hand over both Jake and Shay's.
"He's right," I said. "I'm going to take care of both of you."
