Shay really thought I couldn't climb a wall. Was she joking? This pansy little course was nothing. As the 'Tough Richards' lined up, I stretched out my leg and glanced at the girls. Shay's arms were crossed; she had a sexy little smirk across her red face. She had looked mortified when she had lost her pants; all I focused on was the pink undies. Yeah, they were bigger panties than I was used to, but I was a panty man no matter what.
Bruce went first. I have never seen a more epic nightmare. He looked like he was going to go into cardiac arrest after the tire jog. I'm sure he could have done better, but Richard was bouncing around him like an annoying gnat trying to give him a pep talk.
"C'mon you can do it! Lift those legs and shine, shine, shine!"
I snorted into my hand. Bruce put on a burst of speed (I think in attempt to get away from the Fruit Loop Fairy). He managed to get as far as the rope wall. Richard finally let him walk around.
Our time was pathetic. It was going to take a real man (hence me) to get us even close to the girl's combined time.
I was the third to go. Wayne hadn't done to bad. Lavell was going to be last.
"Nickolas! Are you ready?" Richard screeched. I spat on the ground and nodded. My palm pressed into my knee. I was in 'running man' position.
"On your mark...get set...go!"
I completed the tires without a problem. Seriously, I have to remember dance steps. Jumping in and out of tires was child's play. I slammed to my belly and wiggled under the ropes. They seemed to get lower and lower as I went. By the time I was almost out, my ass got caught. I reached behind and managed to maneuver my whole body out.
I was a little winded.
The next part was the monkey bars. I grabbed on and reached for the second. I was sweating a little bit. My upper arm strength was crap. When did I lose it? I couldn't remember. My chest hurt. I reached for the third bar...
I slammed into the mud. I lay there for a second feeling gross and humiliated.
"GET UP! YOU CAN DO THIS! A LITTLE SEXY MUD NEVER HURT ANYONE!" Richard bellowed.
Crap. The little dude was getting off on me covered in mud. I scrambled to my feet and flicked mud in all directions. I wiped my hands on the back of Richard's disco ball shirt. I grabbed onto the first rung, stifled every curse that flew to my mouth, and made it across. I think I ripped a muscle in my shoulder doing it, but dammit, I was across.
The next trek was criss-crossing in and out of cones and jumping through a rope grid simultaneously. I made it half-way through without a problem before I landed hard. I felt rocks dig into my knee. Screaming out of pain and anger, I got up and finished it.
The only thing left was a rock wall. I knew even with my fumbles that I had left everyone else's time in the dust. I grabbed onto the rope and gave a little jump. My feet touched wood and slid right to the ground.
What the--
"Upper strength Carter! Show those girls at home what you're made of!"
If it wasn't bad enough that I had just slid down, now I felt like I was being made into a platter of Simmons man meat. I let out a growl and tried again. I went up maybe a foot before sliding back down. I just needed to get to the next knot in the rope and I'd be fine...
I knew Shay was watching. She probably had a wide satisfied smile on her face. I grabbed onto the rope and did a giant leap. My nose smashed into the wall and I went back down. It was on. Like Donkey Kong. I grabbed onto the rope again. I hoisted.
Hands grabbed onto my ass and gave me a push. For a second I thought it was Richard. I grabbed onto the second knot and kept going. Right before I got to the top of the wall I looked down.
It had been Shay.
"Thanks doll," I gasped. I flung myself over the wall.
I landed right in another huge puddle of mud.
"What the hell you doin? You can't help the enemy!" Darra cried.
I felt bad. He looked like a freakin' train wreck out there. He had fallen more times than anyone else. The wall was kicking his ass from here to China. Richard being right on his ass was making it even worse. After the fourth attempt I couldn't take it anymore. I walked over, pressed my hands to his rump, and gave a push.
I watched him scramble to the top. He looked down and gave me a gorgeous smile.
"Thanks doll," he heaved. He flung himself over the wall without grabbing onto the rope on the other side. I buried my head in my hands. I heard the sickly plop as he landed in the huge mud pit. He let out a cry that had almost everyone in tears from laughing so hard.
He crossed the finish line looking like a human Hershey bar. The thought made my stomach growl. If he was covered in chocolate, well...
The kiss from the night before was haunting me. I was hungry, I was dirty, I had just exercised more than I had in years.
And a dirty Nick Carter actually looked hot. He wiped the gooey stuff out of his eyes and headed over to me.
"Don't say it," he said morosely. My eyes widened.
"Say what?"
"I told you so."
"I would never say that," I said.
We both looked straight forward. I could feel the heat from him making the already scorching day hotter. We both watched Lavell finish the course. Surprisingly, he did better than Nick.
It was kind of sad.
"Alright campers gather round!" Richard sang. We all trekked over to him. He gave each of us a bright cheery smile.
"After combining the girls' total time and the boys' total time, it's my honor to announce that the girls' combined time beat the boys' time by thirty seconds. Girls, you'll get an extra weight advantage at the first weigh-in!"
I couldn't help it. I let out a happy giggle. Darra wrapped her arms around me and heaved me up off the ground as she bounced. She let go and we both did a happy dance.
"Gentlemen, as punishment," Richard said in mock-seriousness. "You'll be dismantling the entire course. Girls, get some rest."
Nick's mouth flew open. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. He was in desperate need of a shower. A hot soapy...
I shook my head and backed up. My thoughts...my thoughts were getting bad. I had to distance myself.
"Sorry Nick," I said. "Better luck next time."
He turned to say something, but I whirled around. Darra and I headed straight to the camp house.
"I think the girl who done lost her drawers gets first dib at a shower," Darra announced. The judge and Victora didn't seem like they agreed, but Darra had my back. I quickly slid into the bathroom. I was grateful that Darra and I were at least on the same wavelength. I managed to get some lukewarm water for my troubles. After I got dressed and yanked my wet hair into a ponytail I let Darra go in. I climbed up on my bunk.
"Why'd you have to help Carter?"
I glanced at the judge. Could I do nothing right?
"I was being a good team player," I said.
"He's not on our team," Victoria added. My eyes narrowed.
"I don't think people should get ahead in the world by being self-centered," I said coldly.
The two women shared a look.
"Girl, you're headed for a world of hurt," the judge said. "You're naive."
I scowled. "I'm not naive."
They both snickered. Once again I felt like an intruder in my own room. I scrambled out of the bunk.
It was almost lunch time. I would wait in the mess hall, chomp on a few carrot sticks, and then go endure two hours in the workout room.
After that, I'd have to scout out a snake-free place to sleep.
My time in Dante's Inferno was not going to be over soon enough.
