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March 5th 2006

“Okay, the most important thing of all things: concentration,” Dean instructed quietly. I held my breath.

The room was darkened and deadly quiet. I could barely make out Nick’s strained posture next to me. I knew how he thought about this whole ordeal and was not surprised that he refused to look at me right now. And to be honest, the more I thought about what we were doing, the more ridiculous it sounded to me too.

“So the first thing I need you to do, is think of a quiet, calm place, can you do that?” Dean said to the still man on the bed. Brian nodded solemnly, keeping his gaze trained on the ceiling. I pressed my nails into the leather back of the chair I was standing behind. I was very well aware of the fact that if something went wrong, I would become the one to blame.

Again.

“Can’t we just…” I started.

“Ssh,” Dean hushed, “We need him to concentrate.”

I nodded, mouthing the word ‘sorry’ to him. Dean returned his eyes to the bed, “Brian, do you have a location?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I want you to relax and focus intently on that place. Keep your eyes open, though.”

“Kay…”

“Alright, now just pretend you’re walking into that place.”

“I can’t walk.” Brian mumbled.

“Right now you can,” Dean assured him. “Remember, none of this is real, it’s all in your mind.”

Brian didn’t react and Dean waited a few seconds before he continued. “Now comes the tricky part. In order for this to work, we need you to fall asleep with the image of your chosen location in mind, understand?”

There was no answer and for a second I thought he’d already fallen asleep. I know I would have. But I can sleep anywhere.

“Brian?” the therapist questioned.

“I understand,” Brian muttered and I had to strain to even be able to hear it. I looked at Corwell and he nodded back at me. Apparently, whatever he was doing, it was working.

I could clearly see Brian’s struggle to keep his eyes open at this point. He was blinking rapidly up at the ceiling and didn’t seem to be aware of much around him.

“Okay, I’m going to count to ten and then you’re gonna close your eyes and fall asleep.”

I heard Nick sucking in his breath next to me. I curled my fingers a little tighter around the back of the chair, my knuckles instantly turning white as Dean slowly counted to ten. It worked like a charm: at the count of ten, Brian’s eyes fell closed and he didn’t move anymore. He looked a bit like he did two months ago and I shivered involuntarily at the thought.

“What just happened?” Nick asked in a high voice.

“Ssh!” Dean and I said simultaneously. After I jabbed Nick in the ribs, I looked at the therapist expectantly.

Dean took a deep, solemn breath and went to sit next to the bed, fairly close to where Brian lay. He bent forward and frowned, “Brian Littrell, can you hear me?”

My mouth dropped to the ground when I saw the sleeping man nod slightly. Nick and I looked at each other with wide eyes.

It worked. I can’t believe it worked.

I turned my gaze back to the bed and couldn’t help the grin that was slowly spreading across my face. Dean’s brow was furrowed in concentration, “Can you tell me where you are right now?”

“Beach…” Brian breathed, almost inaudibly.

“Was it the location you were thinking about?”

“Yes…”

“Okay, very good. Just try to describe the place for us, alright? We’d love to know.”

“’s Just a beach,” Brian slurred after a second, “’s warm, peaceful, calming…”

“That’s great, Brian. Are you alone?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, good. Very good. I need you to keep this place in the back of your mind, okay? And whenever you feel uncomfortable or panicked, I want you to return to this very location.”

“Okay…”

I looked at Nick, but saw the same question mark above his head as I know I must be having. I had to admit, I did not know anything about hypnotherapy before today. I had expected more finger snapping, more waving watches, even more suspense.

This was boring.

“Now I want you to concentrate very hard. I need you to go back in time. About four months ago, alright?”

I swallowed thickly when I saw Brian frown slightly and shake his head. “I don’ wanna…” he stated, his words slurring together drunkenly.

“It’s alright, nothing’s gonna happen, you’re safe.” Dean spoke even and slowly.

“’s Too dark.”

“Where? Where are you?”

“New Jersey. We have… a day off.”

I froze to my spot, barely feeling Nick’s hand slap against my arm. Dean turned at me for confirmation and I nodded stiffly. ‘Alright Brian,” the therapist continued, “What’s happening? And I need you to tell me the exact truth, okay?”

“They wanna see a movie.”

“You don’t?”

“No…” Brian moaned softly, squirming slightly on the bed.

“Relax Brian,” Dean waited for him to settle down before he went on, “Why don’t you want to see a movie?”

“’m Tired,” came the mumbled reply. “Wanna go back… to the beach.”

“In a minute, okay? Just tell me what’s going on.”

“m Going back to the hotel.”

“Westminster?”

“Yeah.”

I nodded again at Dean’s questioning look, confirming Brian’s story. I frowned at the way Brian was writhing on the bed now, clearly in distress. Nick must have noticed it too.

“Maybe we shouldn’t make him go further,” he suggested what we had been thinking all along.

Dean nodded, “That’s going to be another thing for another time. You don’t have to go in, Brian. I would like you to return to the beach now.”

“Okay,” he sounded relieved, almost grateful, even. He became perfectly still again, his breathing finally evening out. Dean waited for a minute before he cleared his throat.

“Where are you now?”

“Dunno,” Brian slurred heavily “It’s dark.”

“Is it the beach?” Dean suggested with a frown. His frown made me frown too. I looked at Nick, but he shrugged with an expression that told me he didn’t know what was going on as well.

“Dunno,” Brian mumbled again, “It’s cold.”

Cold and dark did not sound like a beach, I concluded. I know Dean had meant for him to return to the beach, but it hadn’t worked. I tried not to panic as I felt my heart hammer in my throat. I had suggested this. I had once again brought danger to my friend.

“What do you see?” Dean asked softly.

“City…” Brian replied, barely audible, “Think it’s night.”
Dean nodded, “What are you doing?”

“Walking.”

“Just walking?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know what date it is?”

It remained silent for a few long seconds before Brian answered, “February 16.”

“Do you know the year?” Dean asked urgently.

“That’s… stupid question.”

I smiled at Brian’s answer and felt myself relax a little bit again. Instead of going back to the beach, he’d gone to a dark city. What did it matter? He didn’t seem stressed about, so why should we be? Dean’s posture was still tense, however, and it worried me. After all, he did know more about this whole hypno stuff than we did.

“It’s not a stupid question, Brian.”

“It’s ’99, you idiot,” Brian replied, his voice louder than before.

I felt Nick’s eyes stare a whole into the side of my head, while I kept my gaze on Brian and Dean. What the hell was he doing in a cold city in ’99? Of all places he could choose, why would he go there?

“Are you alone?” Dean asks for the second time.

“No.”

“Who else is there?”

“Peter, he’s a… friend.” Brian’s face slightly turns into a frown. I can see he’s having trouble remembering Peter and his role in his life. But I don’t really care about that now. My heart beats so fast I think it’s trying to burst out of my chest. I can hardly breathe and I feel Nick’s hand grabbing my lower arm to steady me.

“What’s Peter doing?” Dean asks urgently. I’ve told him about Peter and what I think his share had been in this ordeal.

“He’s… we’re walking.” Brian said, a bit impatient, as if it wasn’t obvious yet.

“Is there anybody else around?”

“No… it’s just us.” Brian stated, “I told him… we should head back… to the club…”

“The club?”

Brian ignored him as he continued, “He’s acting weird…”

“What do you mean? How weird?” Dean sat up a little
straighter.

“He’s just… staring…” Brian rasps, his voice shaky.

“He’s…”

The sudden scream startled me and I swiftly look at Dean.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

He shook his head, grabbing a hold of Brian’s hand. The younger man was thrashing now, but it wasn’t a seizure. It looked more like a nightmare, like he was trapped and couldn’t wake up. “Brian?” Dean called, “Brian, can you
hear me?”

“No! Stop!” Brian screamed, yanking his hand free from Dean’s hold. His breathing was labored and he arched his back, kicking and screaming at someone we couldn’t see.

Somehow, I knew he was fighting Peter.

“Brian, I need you to wake up now.” Dean commanded evenly.

“Leave me alone!”

“I’m going to count to ten…”

“Get off me!”

“One…”

“It’s not my fault!”

“Three…”

“No!”

“Five…”

“It was an accident!”

“Seven…”

“Please!”

“Nine…”

“It was an accident!”

“Ten!”