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Chapter 2 – Scared Senseless

Howie and AJ were in a hazy state of shock as they sat numbly upon the hard plastic chairs in the hospital’s bleak waiting room. Though they felt numb inside, their senses picked up on every added dimension of the dreaded waiting room, like the sound of the nurses’ squeaky white shoes, the steady tick of the large clock, the tapping of the receptionists fingers upon a keyboard, the faint sounds of sirens and squelches from the radios, and the always disturbing smell of harsh cleaning products. Like most good Samaritans, the boys awaited the return of the skilled pediatric team that rushed to the abandoned child’s care. They couldn’t leave without knowing the child’s condition.

So, in the midst of their waiting, AJ had somehow managed to phone the rest of their band for help. Though he hadn’t given all the details of the evening, their friends understood the bare minimum – AJ and Howie needed them. In a matter of seconds they were on their way. It gave AJ a sense of warm comfort, even if they wouldn’t arrive for another hour. He didn’t know what they could exactly do, but anything was better than sitting in silence beside Howie’s statuesque form.

Howie had fallen mute since giving all the details he possibly could on the child’s situation. The horror of finding a child in such a vulnerable state had attacked the inner core of his golden heart. He had held the child tight against him as they rushed to the hospital in a state of panic. Now as they waited, he could only picture the helpless child suffocated by sticky layers of plastic bags and the faint flutter of the child’s heart against his chest as it wheezed for a breath of life. Throughout the whole ordeal, only one thought continually repeated in his sorrowful mind. He just couldn’t fathom how a parent could simply dump the newborn without a second thought. Silent tears continually fell down his cheeks as he remembered the little blue hand reaching into the air for help.

“Which one of you is the father?” a physician announced into the silence, stepping toward the only men in the waiting room. It was obviously a slow night for the Emergency Department, but not for the men. The sound of the unfamiliar voice caused both to lurch from their seating, anxious to hear the news. They prayed the child was still alive and well.

“Neith—”

“Me,” Howie blurted, interrupting AJ without any discretion. The sudden projection of Howie’s clogged voice caused AJ to jump in surprise. He arched his dark eyebrows in question at the older man; unable to comprehend why Howie had just offered himself as the father. AJ could only conclude that Howie feared they would be denied information on the newborn without kinship. Once the information was dispersed, Howie would offer the truth.

“Sir, since you are the father, I am inclined to ask how this occurred,” the physician trailed at the announcement, sizing up Howie for a moment. None of the physicians had ever encountered such a bizarre birth. To have a newborn rushed into the hospital without the laboring mother was unusual to say the very least.

“Doctor, wait, we found the kid—” AJ tried to explain again, finally deciding Howie was suffering from some strange postpartum depression.

“On my doorstep,” Howie interceded yet again, causing AJ’s jaw to drop. Howie couldn’t explain it, but something inside him stirred as he pictured the small newborn within his mind. He wouldn’t let the child suffer alone. Howie’s throat constricted as he stitched a detailed blanket of lies for the sake of the child. “We found the child on my doorstep with a confusing note. Basically my ex-girlfriend had just given birth and refused to go to the hospital. She dropped the baby off with the note explaining it was my problem. I suppose she thought that giving birth was enough. I wanted to locate her to get her to the hospital, but she disconnected her phone. My friend went to her home and her apartment was completely empty. The baby was turning blue while I was trying to call her, so I immediately came here. I knew it needed help…”

AJ watched in disbelief as the physician finally nodded his head in sympathy. The tired physician obviously thought that the story was too absurd not to be real. No one would be that foolish to plot such a wild tale for the sake of keeping a child. So, he hurriedly scribbled on his chart while speaking, “I’m so sorry for the trouble, but it’s vital that I do ask this type of information, Mr—”

“Howard Dorough.”

“Ah, yes, Mr. Dorough! I’m Dr. Withern, your child’s attending physician.”

“How is my child?” Howie questioned, causing AJ to snort.

“She’s fine. A little shaky at first, but she’s stabilizing nonetheless. She came in with hypoxia and hypothermia, which means that the oxygen in her blood was low and her temperature was low, but we have her in a warming incubator and an oxygen tent. We judged to find that she’s a little over two months premature, but remarkably has no complications. She’s underweight at about four pounds so we’ll watch her closely, but she’ll grow into a healthy little lady.”

“Her?”

“Yes, you have a baby girl. A little daughter,” Dr. Withern replied, becoming somber for just a moment. “That is if you intend to keep her.”

“Keep her?” Howie repeated in confusion.

“Well, Mr. Dorough, we always like to see the natural parents keep a child, but, to be frank, you have a very rare situation. Seeing as how your ex-girlfriend obviously has given up custody of the child, you also would have the chance to do the same—”

“No!” Howie hissed dramatically, looking quite furious at the idea. He could only imagine all the documentaries about terrible adoption centers and the horrors that awaited children who slipped between the cracks of the leaky government. Howie would never abandon the baby to such wicked circumstances.

“Then you accept custody?”

“Of course,” Howie declared with a firm nod, listening to AJ mumble something beneath his breath.

“That’s fantastic,” Dr. Withern approved quickly, not paying attention to AJ’s dispute. Dr. Withern respected any man that would take on the responsibilities of his child’s care. He smiled and firmly shook Howie’s hand. “As I said before, we always love a happy ending in these circumstances. Your daughter is in the NICU, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, but mostly for observation. If you like, I can show you to the NICU where you’ll have the opportunity to visit with your daughter. Then I’ll have the opportunity to retrieve the birth certificate so we can process everything.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Howie approved, following Dr. Withern toward the NICU windows. The physician poked inside to give the nurse some quick details and to receive some information on the Dorough infant. He stepped back out and instructed that Howie would be able to enter shortly. With another smile, Dr. Withern walked down another hallway to retrieve the birth certificate.

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” AJ finally screeched with anger, smacking Howie sharply when he was assured no one was paying attention. AJ couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed. Howie had actually taken custody of a child who wasn’t even his. The ramifications of this foolish act seemed unending in AJ’s flabbergasted mentality.

“Why?” Howie returned as calmly as possible, still staring at the infant he claimed as his own. AJ’s anger didn’t seem to register as he tilted his head to the side, mesmerized by the tiny bundle of life. It was amazing that a child could survive such terrifying circumstances.

“Hello, D! She’s not yours! Not to mention the fact that you might actually be committing a fucking crime by telling a doctor that she is!”

“She’s not anybody’s, AJ. She’s abandoned, remember?” Howie pointed out.

“That’s not your problem!”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not! You just found the damn kid! It doesn’t mean that you have to take responsibility—”

“AJ—”

“Howie! She’s not yours—”

“But she deserves to be,” Howie whispered quietly.

AJ turned somber over Howie’s last words, feeling a slight twinge in his heart. He took a moment to study Howie’s facial expressions. The older man looked saddened at the state of the child, but his chocolate brown eyes twinkled with a small amount of hope. AJ found himself digging deeper into Howie’s choice. AJ’s eyes grew wide with wonder as he quickly but softly scorned Howie’s decision again, “Are you… Is this about… Howie, do you honestly think this kid can mend that hole in your heart from Roxie? Are you using the baby to get over Roxie? Because we can just buy you a puppy—”

“Damnit, AJ, shut up!” Howie groaned, frustrated by his friend’s stupid allegations.

“What?”

“Look, I honestly don’t know why I said the baby was mine. It just felt like something jumped in my body and answered for me. I mean, you didn’t see her wrapped in those plastic bags. You didn’t see her covered with blood and struggling to breathe. You hear her pitiful wails screaming in your ear. She looked so wretched and she needed me so much in that instant. And she still needs me. Out of everyone passing the dumpster, I heard her. God let me hear her. And I just can’t see her suffering in the care of a government institution. I’ve heard too many horror stories about those places. I just… I feel like she needs me just as much as I need her. There’s something special about her and I won’t let her go.”

“You’re serious?” AJ asked, knowing Howie wouldn’t be dissuaded over his decision. Howie’s heart was truly golden. He held a strong passion for everything and it was the first time that Howie’s eyes truly lit since Roxie’s departure. The small newborn was creating some special magic spell upon Howie that AJ refused to break.

AJ watched quietly as Howie glanced through the glass. Howie’s dark eyes locked upon the small infant who had already captured his heart. Her small frame was concealed in the special warmer. Various tubes were hooked upon her for oxygen and monitoring, but Howie looked beyond that. He could only see the true beauty of the small gift. The peaches-and-cream colored newborn that barely weighed four pounds couldn’t be more precious in his eyes. She had a tuft of light blonde fuzz atop her perfectly rounded head. Her delicate fingers curled into tiny fists that rested near her pursed rose-tinged lips. Her small button nose crinkled as she sniffled, drawing her small legs upward before stretching. Surprisingly, she was calm compared to the other screaming infants. Howie smiled, tracing his fingers down the glass. “I’m positive. She needs me and I need her.”

“Mr. Dorough, your daughter’s birth certificate!” Dr. Withern called excitedly, breaking up the boys’ conversation.

“Oh, thank you,” Howie replied, taking the clipboard. He listened to Dr. Withern’s instructions about filling out the birth certificate. Then the physician offered his congratulations again and left the men yet again to check on his other patients.

“D, this baby, your daughter… This is so—”

“I know,” Howie murmured. He already understood what AJ was thinking, even if AJ couldn’t express it verbally. Howie grasped the birth certificate firmly in his hands as they both grew silent again. He stared into the NICU, his eyes locking upon the tiny infant for one more time. He couldn’t ignore the warmth radiating from his body as he watched the tiny girl. It just felt so right in his heart. “You have to understand that she needs us, J.”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” AJ repeated, finally smiling toward the newborn. “Well, she is cute.”

“She is,” Howie agreed.

“Can I help name her?”

“She’s not a puppy—”

“Well, duh, but she still needs paper-trained.”

“Oh, Lord, AJ.”

“What?”

“Let’s just go see if we can visit her.”