"Did you really want to come with us tonight, D?" AJ questioned as he flopped down on the cream colored couch, glancing toward his best friend who was just watching the ceiling. Both men were patiently waiting for the girls upstairs, well, at least AJ was somewhat calm. Since meeting Kitra, he had fallen into deeper heart to hearts after their wild passions died during the late nights. They would simply lie together and speak quietly about past, present, and future. Kitra had actually gotten AJ to realize a lot of things, like the fact that Howie wasn't exactly his best friend anymore. But, they had drifted because of AJ. He felt guilty as he tapped his hands against his leather pants, waiting for the older man to respond. Since he had fallen into the party lifestyle, it seemed harder and harder to communicate with Howie. And it actually broke AJ's heart.
"Grace is coming, so--"
"If she wasn't coming, would you have anyway?"
"Why the question?" Howie finally glanced towards AJ with a raised eyebrow.
"I was just wondering..." AJ trailed, flipped his sunglasses onto his face to hide his soulful brown eyes. He felt like such an asshole, especially when it came to dealing with emotions he'd rather keep numb. But, Kitra was starting to change him whether she realized it or not. He was drinking less and the parties had become less frequent. He was just concerned about spending time with her. Making her happy. And possibly making Howie proud again. "You used to go out clubbing with me a lot, but now..."
"I grew out of the lifestyle you like so much. I don't enjoy getting drunk all the time and I hate random sex," Howie shrugged, glancing back at the ceiling. "We just grew apart."
"Because of me? Is that why you hate me so much now?"
"I don't hate you. I hate how you're killing yourself."
"You're ashamed of me?"
"I'm scared for you. Do you think I want to get a call at three in the morning saying my best friend is in a body bag from an overdose?"
AJ glanced away for a moment, wringing his hands together out of nervous habit. Since he started using drugs, he had become slightly on edge, raging with a hard addiction. But, since Kitra, he was trying to decrease the habit, which just seemed to agitate his nerves more. It was like going through detoxification, but he'd never admit to it. Just like he'd never admit to the fact that he may be only human and extremely capable of getting hurt. "I hate that you don't call me Alex anymore.”
"You haven't been Alex for a long time," Howie replied softly, closing his eyes for a moment to control the emotions.
Unfortunately, AJ knew that his best friend was right. That Alex had long disappeared as the pain had continued to consume him until only the deepest darkness remained. Only, he wanted to tell Howie that he was sorry and he was going to try to fix things. That he wanted things to be normal again and he was sorry for causing such annoyances between his friend and Grace, when they were obviously meant to be together. But, AJ was sidetracked as his only vision of hope and light descended from Howie's upstairs rooms. Kitra was a vision of true loveliness in her knee length leather skirt and shimmering red tank top that admired snugly to her body, accentuating the curvature of her youthful body. Her long platinum locks were twisted with red chopsticks and a light amount of makeup caused her face to glow with beauty. She stood a few inches higher with her chunky black boots, causing AJ to just grin.
"You look great, Kitty."
"Thanks. You two look very handsome," Kitra smiled softly, kissing AJ's cheek as he stood to greet her.
"Nothing compared to that beauty your exuding," Howie complimented as well, leaning to hug her gently. "You look absolutely fantastic, Kitra. I couldn't have imagined a prettier woman. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks," Kitra whispered, her voice catching with obvious emotion.
"You're one of a kind," AJ promised, slipping a ruby tennis bracelet onto her wrist to add to her flare.
"Wh-what? Alex, no, we talked about--"
"Me giving you everything your heart desires," AJ finished without much room for complaints, leaning to kiss her cheek. "You deserve this."
"You're both going to make me cry," Kitra sniffled.
"Everyone deserves a good cry," Howie answered with a kind shrug of his shoulders.
"But then I'll look hideous," Kitra laughed, clearing her throat to hold back the tears.
"Nothing could make you look hideous, trust me," AJ rasped against her earlobe, kissing the side of her face gently. "But where's that brat of yours?"
"She was right..." Kitra looked back at the empty stairs and groaned. "Racie, get your ass down here!"
"Sorry, I forgot something," Grace breathed as she hurried down the steps in a blur. She barely stopped when she reached the bottom steps, straightening when she caught everyone's gazes. She looked like a vision of heaven with the outfit Kitra had selected. The rich, purple, fly-away, baby doll enhanced the sleek curves of her gorgeous body, defining her large breasts with a sleek dip of cleavage and showing off her lean and toned abdomen with the dangling fairy belly button ring as the fly away pieces of material fluttered around her. Her black hip huggers clung to her bottom half, outlining her hips and powerful dancing legs. And her long honey blonde ringlets cascaded down her shoulders as she bit softly on her glossed lip. "What's wrong?"
"Absolutely nothing. You look beautiful!" Howie actually gushed, believing that an angel was standing in front of him.
"I look like I could jump on the stage at Devil's in two minutes flat," Grace disagreed with a sharp blush, fingering the blue and purple jeweled belt Kitra had added to her waist to compliment her piercing.
"You do not!" AJ, Kitra and Howie objected.
"You're right... I don't have my G-string on..." Grace trailed, attempting to be funny to avoid the compliments.
"Racie," Kitra groaned.
"Sorry..." Grace apologized immediately, smoothing the sheer tails of her shirt in attempts to hide her bare stomach, but the material was see-through underneath the breast line, so it was useless. She was used to wearing revealing clothing in Devil's Playground, but the way Howie was watching her made her increasingly shy. "Are we leaving?"
"If you lovely ladies are ready," AJ replied, taking Kitra's hand into his own.
"Definitely, we'll meet you guys at the car," Kitra told Howie and Grace, knowing Howie probably wanted a few minutes of Grace to himself before they piled into the car.
"Okay..." Grace trailed, tucking a few bills that she had actually managed to save in her back pocket with a special photograph that she never left without. She seemed somewhat flustered as she made sure nothing would fall from her back pocket, immediately glancing up to catch Howie watching her again. "You... You picked this out for me, didn't you?"
"How did you... Kitra, right?" Howie replied, a little sheepish as he smiled.
"Yeah, she about stripped me naked upstairs because I wanted to wear a tank top and jeans..." Grace trailed, pressing her hands against her bare abdomen in attempts to hide it. "I can't believe you let her pick this... Unless..."
"Unless?" Howie reached over and pulled her hands away from her body.
"Who picked it out, honestly?"
"I did."
"Why?" she questioned as he gently pushed her away while still holding her hands, so he could have a full view of her.
"Because I knew you would look beautiful in it."
"Stranger..."
"It's only the truth."
"Then it's your fault if another man pulls me to the dance floor before you get a chance to stake a claim," she attempted to tease, lightly squeezing his hands before pulling away. She moved toward the door, trying not to watching him too closely. He looked so perfect in his burgundy and black stripe button up with matching black tank underneath and baggy black pants. She couldn't have asked for a more handsome 'date,' though she didn't know if she had the determination to say so.
"It won't happen because you'll be in my arms all night," he smiled softy, watching her from behind.
"Are you a little antsy, Grace?" AJ actually laughed as he watched Grace studying the dance floor from the high windows of their rented VIP section. They had spent a somewhat calm time at dinner and then invited themselves to dessert and drinks in the club. AJ was pleasantly surprised as he became more acquainted with Kitra's best friend, actually finding her very adorable. She was sweet and somewhat chipper with a beautiful smile always accenting her face. He now understood why Howie was so fond of her and why Kitra was so protective of her.
"Am I allowed to be?" she questioned, turning slightly from watching the dancers to catch AJ's actually kind brown eyes. For once, she truly smiled at him, pleased with his change in attitude.
"You're allowed to be anything you want. But I can tell you're antsy."
"Guess I just really like to dance," she answered, shrugging her bare shoulders as AJ brought himself and Kitra to stand beside Grace. She motioned toward the seasoned dancers on the stage of the club, throwing down what they thought were their best moves. "I think I can do better than that."
"You can definitely do better than that, Racie. These people haven't seen dancing until they've seen you," Kitra grinned, resting in the crook of AJ's arm.
"I'm not that good..." Grace sighed somewhat softly, glancing behind in search of Howie. He had disappeared a bit ago, making her wonder. But, she returned her gaze back to the dance floor, unable to hold off much longer. "I'm just a stripper and I've never had professional dancing..."
"Oh stop the bullshit right now--"
"It's not bullshit, it's the truth," Grace answered quickly, unable to stand it any more as one of her favorite songs started to blast through the speakers as the DJ started to mix. Her emerald eyes immediately began to glow as she glanced toward AJ and Kitra with hope. "Do you mind if I go down now?"
"Go ahead, Grace. Have fun," AJ smiled softly.
"Tell Howie the whole 'You Snooze, You Lose' deal," Grace called with an adorably excited smile. She immediately crossed the lush threshold of the VIP Lounge, speaking briefly with the body guard who offered to lead her down immediately. She waved toward Kitra and AJ once more, completely disappearing.
"Watch," Kitra told AJ, quickly pointing toward Grace as she reached the dance floor as Nelly was being spun by the DJ. A throng of men immediately rushed toward her, but she was too excited about the idea of dancing. She weaved into the middle and started her own creative choreography, many following her with loud whistles. "She's absolutely the best dancer that I've ever seen... And I'm not just saying that..."
"Damn... she's better than our dance troupe!" AJ whistled in awe, watching Grace start a body roll from the floor and back up straight with the snap of her hips. "Fatima would fall in love with her."
"And it's all natural," Kitra approved with obvious pride. "She's just a raw talent... But, never had the chance to spread her wings and fly... I think that's why she loves fairies so much..."
"Maybe she'll have the chance to fly sooner than she thinks."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm not saying anything until I talk to a few people."
"Alex--"
"Trust me?" AJ interrupted, turning toward her with a hopeful smile.
"How can I say no to that face?" Kitra chuckled, kissing him softly.
"I was hoping," AJ murmured, cupping his hand around the back of her neck to bring her closer. He allowed his tongue to softly stroke hers, lulling her body into a state of sweet delight. He always enjoyed the way her body fit perfectly to his when they were intimate. She gave him such joy and he decided it was time that he needed to start sharing that.
"Mmm... I love kissing you," Kitra breathed, a silly smile forming on her blushing face as they broke apart. They had promised to keep the relationship light, but a part of her was falling for AJ and fast.
'I just love you,' AJ actually thought with a vague smile, but his heart practically stopped when she furled her brows in confusion. He was somewhat thankful that he had just thought it, but upset that he couldn't make his needs known again. He shrugged with a cackle, glancing backward in time to see Howie reappearing. He breathed with relief, snaking his arm around Kitra's waist as they turned. "Where the Hell did you disappear to, D?"
"I had a talk with the bodyguard, that's all. Just in case someone tries to start trouble," Howie stopped to see only Kitra and AJ. "Um... where's Grace?"
"Who would start trouble?" Kitra asked first, somewhat ignoring Howie's question. It never hurt to drive the man a little crazy for Grace.
"Anyone--"
"Who?" Kitra pressed.
"Where's Grace?"
"Who?" Kitra slightly snapped with an air of annoyance, hating how much Howie was acting like Grace. She was completely in the dark about Grace giving all her money to Evan so he'd release Kitra from whatever contract she had struck with him. More so, she was in the dark about Evan threatening not only her life, but Howie's life because Grace refused to be his toy. And, it made her slightly nervous about the seriousness crossing Howie's face.
"Evan, alright? He may be out of the picture but he's always around from what you tell me. I just want to be safe rather than sorry, alright?" Howie quickly replied, scanning the dance floor for Grace.
"Alright..." Kitra answered, her lips forming into a soft 'o' of surprise at Howie's tight anxiousness. She noticed him anxiously glancing between the throngs of people and she motioned toward Grace in the center of men, completely ignoring the men attempting to bring her in. She was too caught within her dancing and actually enjoying herself without having to worry about men stuffing dollars in private places. "She couldn't wait for you."
"I'll see you guys down there," Howie excused himself and went downstairs.
"What's his problem?" Kitra groaned, glancing toward AJ with obvious confusion.
"He's just being protective of Grace, that's all. Don't worry about it, Babe," AJ wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. "You want to dance?"
"I want to see what Howie does with Grace on the dance floor," Kitra decided, completely forgetting her annoyances with Howie. She grinned as she turned in AJ's arms, biting against his bottom lip. "And I want to feel what you do with my body on the dance floor."
"It's as good as in bed... maybe..." AJ grinned back, taking her hand and pulling her out onto the dance floor.
Kitra actually giggled with delight as AJ wove her through the various collections of hot, sweaty dancers. She stayed as close as possible to his body, smiling sweetly when he led her directly toward Grace. He was finally starting to understand that the girls were extremely close and Kitra adored that. She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek as thanks before throwing her arms around Grace's waist to catch the girl's attention. "Hey!"
"Hey!" Grace laughed in surprise, whipping around to greet AJ and Kitra. Her body was glistening with a light perspiration, causing her to glow beneath the hot lights of the dance floor. She was grinning sweetly with obvious happiness, loving that she could just dance without having to worry about a thing. Without having to worry about a man hurting her. "Finally came down from the kingdom?"
"But of course. Can't let you have all the fun, you know!" Kitra smiled, kissing Grace's sweaty cheek. "It's nice to see you so happy, Racie."
"Thanks..." Grace trailed with a faint blush rush to her cheeks. She quickly glanced toward AJ and then behind him to find the one person she was yearning for. She wrinkled her nose in confusion as there was a switch in DJs and a slight silence in the crowds. "...Where's Howie?"
"He already left to come down--"
"Then he must have found someone a lot more entertaining than me, huh?" Grace smiled ruefully, though the pain was unmistakable in her crystal emerald eyes.
"Don't even think that! Racie, he's not dancing with anyone else!"
Grace rolled her eyes, glancing toward AJ for help. But he shrugged helplessly, causing her to groan. "I'm going back to dancing--"
"With me," Howie's voice interrupted her.
"What makes you think I didn't find someone else that entertains me more than you?" Grace fired back at him with surprise, whipping around to be greeted by the man that made her heart flop against her ribcage. She felt her cheeks redden as Kitra laughed, pulling AJ against her as the saucy beats began again.
"Because if you tried to tell me that, you would be lying," Howie chuckled, reaching out to bring her close to him. "Let's dance."
"Where were you?" she questioned as the remix of Santana's latin beats echoed throughout the heated club. She naturally arched her light honey brows in surprise as Howie reached for her hips, connecting their bodies together. Slowly, he rocked against her, causing a sharp fire to flame from her soul and lick against her nerves. But, she pretended not to care, focusing on the manipulation of movements between their bodies... Not about the idea of falling into bed with Howie...
"I had to check with the bodyguards we brought along," Howie replied, keeping her close.
"But Kit said you came down here before them--"
'"I did, and then I was trying to get through the crowd to you."
"Oh..." she answered, growing tired with the simplistic movements Howie was making her follow. Wanting to play, she eased her arms around his neck, preparing to kiss him. Only, she did a sleek body roll against him as she dipped down his body, grinning seductively as she eased back upward and turned to gyrate her hips against him.
"Ay, mi carina," Howie mumbled under his breath in Spanish as his jaw dropped slightly.
"What was that?" she questioned with a soft purr, turning around again to face him. She moved to wrap her bare arms around his neck, stepping closer to move their hips together in a sexy circular moment, as one person. Her emerald eyes glistened with curiousness as she concentrated on him and only him. The heat raging in her body something she had never felt before.
"What was what?"
"You said something in Spanish... I liked it."
"Oh. I basically said 'Oh, my love'," he explained, feeling his breath catch as he looked down into her impish eyes.
"Oh... Do you do that a lot?"
"Talk in Spanish?"
"Yeah--"
"You're the only one who can make me do that."
"I've never done that before..."
"You just haven't heard me until now."
"You know what?" she questioned honestly, guiding his arms back around her waist like the first time they had ever met.
"What?"
"We're supposed to be dancing instead of talking," she whispered with a soft laugh.
"We can do both," he whispered as well, placing a kiss on each of her cheeks before connecting their lips.
"They're so damn cute!" Kitra squealed against AJ's ear, watching her friend closely as she continued to dance with AJ.
"She makes him really happy," AJ approved with a chuckle.
"He makes her really happy, though she's a wise ass who won't admit it," Kitra sighed dramatically as she pulled away to pluck AJ's sunglasses from his handsome eyes. She pushed the glasses to the top of her head, reaching up to caress his tongue with hers for a moment of true passion.
"And you make me really happy."
"And I'm a wise ass who will admit you make me happy," AJ smiled, resting his forehead against hers for a moment.
"Alex..."
"I'm actually willing to change for you..."
"Y-You mean... no more wild parties where we don't remember a thing the next morning... a day you won't have to wear sunglasses when it's cloudy? You would give up the dangerous habits... for me?"
"If that's what you want."
"I want that more than anything... we can do it together."
"Together - I like the sound of that."
"So, aren't you glad I forced you to come?" Kitra blurted toward Grace as AJ eased his expensive car into Howie's driveway. She smiled when she realized Grace was dozing softly on Howie's shoulder, knowing the girl had been exhausted with all her dancing. It was already four in the morning and Kitra couldn't recall the last time she remembered Grace falling asleep with an actual smile curving on her sweet lips. She actually smiled softly to Howie as she leaned over to her friend, obviously assuring Howie that she'd gently rouse sleeping beauty. Only, she started to vigorously shake Grace awake, because she was anxious to get back to AJ's house. "Morning, Sunshine!"
"What'd I do now?" Grace yelped, immediately snapping to life at the jarring voice screeching in her ear.
"Fell asleep," Kitra replied simply with a laugh as Grace fully awoke. "We're at Howie's place."
"God, you are truly Satan personified," Grace groaned, fumbling for the door in attempts to climb out. She was in a sleepy daze, practically falling into Howie's lap without realization. She wrinkled her nose in surprise at the softening of her seat, glancing upward to catch Howie's eyes. "Why aren't you getting out of the car?"
"Because an Angel fell into my lap?" Howie replied with a raise of his eyebrows.
"Well, you're too slow," she yawned, pushing hard on the door as Howie reached to release the handle. She practically flew out of the car, stumbling onto her aching feet. Satisfied that she had made it to a standing position, she ran her fingers through her long locks several times, still disoriented. She then grimaced at the heels attached to her feet, thinking nothing of it to strip away the boots and socks till her feet where bare. She was truly exhausted.
"And that's why we don't let her drink... Because she's naturally intoxicated..." Kitra laughed with sheer amusement.
"Bite me, Kitty," Grace muttered sleepily, yawning wide as she tried to stay on her feet.
"You might just want to let her die on the couch... Otherwise she might hurt you more than just falling into your lap and smashing your dick," Kitra suggested to Howie as she climbed out of the back seat and moved to sit in the front with AJ. She watched as her friend was completely oblivious toward the conversation, slowly starting to stumble toward the door in her bare feet. Grace looked to not have a care in the world, just aching for a soft mattress and warm blanket.
"Thanks for the helpful information," Howie smiled, kissing Kitra's cheek and squeezing AJ's shoulder before getting out of the car.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" AJ called with a laugh.
"And that's not saying much, bro--"
"You're such an asshole," AJ interrupted with a scowl.
"Just treat her like the princess she is, how 'bout it?" Kitra interrupted, crushing any fights that may surface between the two men. "She's ready to give you an answer to that question of yours... Just make sure she's a bit more lucid."
"Lucid?"
"As in actually awake, dumbass--"
"Alex, be nice!"
"He's the one that called me a manwhore when he's practically ready to jump Grace's bones and ride her like some Spanish bull--"
"He will not!"
"I will not!"
"He wants to make love with her!"
"I want to make love with her!"
"Whoa... that was scary..." AJ trailed off.
"Good luck, Howie," Kitra laughed, rolling her eyes as she mussed AJ's sweaty locks.
"Thanks," Howie smiled again, tapping the hood of the car as AJ sped out of the driveway and towards his own home.
"Stranger!" Grace called softly when the sound of AJ's screeching tires yanked her away from the darkness of her slumber. She attempted to straight her posture, but ended up slumping on Howie's front door without a care in the world. She let her boots drop from her hands off to the side of his front porch, covering her face as she released another yawn. She then tapped haphazardly on Howie's front door with a soft whine of aggravation. "It's locked!"
"You need a key to open it. You know... like most doors," Howie teased softly, jogging up to the door with his keys in hand.
"Well, if you would use your keys and unlock it, then I could get inside, and then I could strip, crawl into my bed, and die for several hours," she answered, still leaning on the door for support as she covered another yawn.
"I'm unlocking it, I'm unlocking it. Just have a little patience--"
"It's open!" Grace yelped, falling onto the carpet with a soft thud.
"Grace!" Howie actually yelped in shock, stumbling inside to locate the lights. Only, he could hardly contain his laughter as he bent down to Grace, who was just sitting on the floor in a cloudy daze. She was staring at the open door, her emerald eyes smoldering with deep thought as to how things conspired so quickly. Her curls were a mess, layering delicately around her face as she sat in the middle of the room, her legs curled as she attempted to break her fall. "Are you okay?"
"I just broke my ass," she stated simply, continuing to stare at the door in wonder. "But... I think I might be awake now..."
"I didn't know you were leaning that much on the door--"
"I was the dumbass, not you, don't worry about it," she laughed softly, rubbing her face vigorously to clear the sleep from her body. She had just made a complete idiot out of herself in front of the first man that had actually taking a kind initiative with her. She had to get it together.
"You sure you're okay?"
"Once I get up and onto the couch instead of the floor... yeah, I think so. Help me?"
"Help you onto the couch?"
"Yes..." Grace trailed in confusion when Howie didn't take her hands right away. He seemed to fall into a sleepy daze himself, causing her to shrug at her foolishness. She didn't need a man to help her, so she boosted herself. She cringed a little at the sharp pain invading her backside as the aches of her feet cramped. She shook her head, limping toward the stairs so she could just get changed and go to bed.
Howie groaned softly as he heard the sharp closing of Grace's door, which jarred his thoughts immensely. He hadn't meant to fall away from the conversation, but her asking him to help her to the couch had caused a meltdown of sorts. Every night, especially since Grace started sleeping in his bed, his dreams about her had become increasingly erotic. He had gotten to the point in his passionate dreams where he could feel her beneath him as she whimpered softly with honest ecstasy, wrapped within the coils of their beautiful love-making. Then tonight, while they were dancing, Howie was unable to keep his mind off the same thoughts. Then the offer of the couch, Howie couldn't contain himself. But, he instantly regretted it as he charged up the stairs and entered her room without thought.
"Grace, I'm sorry--HOLY SHIT!"
"Like you haven't seen me like this before?" Grace trailed in confusion for a moment, reaching to bring her tank top over her bare breasts. She had been attempting to get ready for bed when Howie barged in without thought. He had scared her immensely, but she swallowed the fear in attempts to act cool and collected. She didn't want him to see the blush creeping to her cheeks. Strippers weren't supposed to be embarrassed with their bodies.
"But I shouldn't walk in on you while you're... God, I'm sorry that was rude of me!" Howie tried to apologize, wanting to cover his eyes for her privacy though he loved gazing at her body.
"It's not a big deal, Stranger," Grace promised, switching from her string bikini briefs to her boxers quickly. Once she was settled in comfortable clothing and her long curls were tossed into a messy ponytail, she moved toward Howie. Gently, she started to unbutton his dress shirt with a sweetly devilish smile. "Besides, if you get to see me like this, then I should be able to see you like this too, right?"
"Wh-what?" Howie was slightly startled from her statement and couldn't deny the joy that went through his soul at the words.
Grace laughed softly at the bewildered look adorning Howie's handsome facial features. She tugged affectionately at his black wife-beater. "You're really tense, Stranger..."
"I’m with you, can anyone blame me?" Howie lifted his arms and she pulled the clothing off his torso.
"I'm no different from any other woman that you've met in your lifetime," Grace disagreed, smiling with appreciation at his toned abdomen. She easily ran her fingertips along the indentation of his rippled six-pack, allowing her fingers to lightly dance upward across his chest, collar bone, and to his neck. She loved the feeling of caressing him from the first night AJ had slapped the money into her G-string.
"You're more different than you could ever know... that's what makes you so beautiful," Howie disagreed, paraphrasing a song he had written for their latest album. It seemed to describe Grace perfectly.
"You seem to have way too many nice words when it comes to me, Stranger. And, you don't even know me or where I came from. All you know is that I'm some stripper that you're trying to save because you have too much of a golden heart to just turn me and Kitra away..." Grace sighed, dropping her gentle caresses of his skin. Instead, she busied her hands by curling a golden ringlet around her finger and wrapping her opposite hand around her bare abdomen.
"Your past has nothing to do with who you are now, Grace. What I see is your true self and it's beautiful. I've just been telling you the things you've been trying to deny about yourself."
"Isn't it a little late to be getting into this philosophical debate?" Grace questioned in attempts to divert the conversation, flopping backward onto her bed. She stared up at the ceiling as she tucked her arms behind her head, closing her eyes in attempts to wish Howie away. She was far more comfortable with the physical portion of their relationship than the emotional portion. He always seemed to make her uncomfortable, but it thrilled her none the less. She needed him around.
"No, not really," Howie retorted, sitting on the bed next to her.
"Then isn't it a little abnormal to get into this philosophical debate when we're both half naked?"
"No?"
"When we could be doing something a lot more entertaining half naked?" she questioned, attempting to play one of Kitra's seductive tricks.
"Huh?" Howie's jaw dropped for the second time that night.
Grace groaned, covering her face with her hands. His baffled reflection was far too adorable in Grace's eyes. She actually had to hide the smile on her face, not wanting to push Howie into having sex when he'd probably regret it in the morning, even if it might shut up him. "You're not fun tonight, Stranger."
"I am too--"
Without warning, Grace reached to grasp his arm and pulled him down onto her body. She instantly connected their lips in a passionate kiss, allowing him to easily straddle her fair body. She had to smile as she worked the kisses into several, stroking his tongue with her own to bring about a moan deep inside his throat. She felt firecrackers detonate within her heart, causing sharp strings of pleasure to race through every nerve. And, she flushed with a sweet innocence as she allowed Howie to finally pull away after she seemed to have her fill. "Good night?"
"Nope... I need one more kiss," Howie shook his head, softening his lips against hers once more.
"Mmm," Grace murmured against his lips, tangling her hands within his curls so she could pull him close. A warm rush lapped over her body, practically begging for Howie to take further control of the situation. Though she refused to admit that anything like this every existed, she had still ached for something like this for so long. She actually wanted to prove to him that she could make it worth his while, nibbling against his bottom lip to pull him closer for another wrestle of their tongues as her fingernails traveled down his bare back.
"If this isn't love and adoration... I don't know what is," Howie whispered as they finally broke apart, panting slightly as his hands traced against her sides.
"You needed a good night kiss," she answered simply, shrugging her shoulders as she tried not to giggle at the sensitive tickles he was sending to her sides.
"It was more to me."
"More to you?" she finally laughed, unable to stand the ticklishness. She reached to grab his hands, folding them into hers on top of her chest.
"It was a kiss I could use everyday and not just at night," he attempted to explain, nipping her bottom lip like she always did to his.
"Ow," she crooned with a laugh.
"That did not hurt--"
"Why do you think I laughed?"
"You're something else," Howie shook his head, trying not to laugh.
"Of course I am, why be something the same as everything else?" she prompted, stretching her lithe body on the bed as Howie continued to sit just beside her. She wondered how long he would be staying in her room, already knowing the look smoldering within his dark eyes. He was anxious to ask some kind of question, but Grace prolonged the inevitable. It seemed to be her birth right.
"Umm... what?"
"Say huh?" Grace immediately responded, furling her honey brows together in obvious confusion. She tucked her arms behind her head, just staring up at Howie.
"You're good at confusing me sometimes, you know that?"
"One of my best qualities," Grace admitted with a proud smile that seemed golden with innocence.
"I'll have to agree with that," Howie smiled as well, massaging her scalp for a moment with his right hand.
"What are you doing?"
"Do you like it?"
"Am I supposed to?"
"Grace, yes or no?"
"Well, yeah, but--"
"Okay. I'll stop when you tell me to," Howie interrupted, leaning down to kiss her again. He just wanted Grace to start exploring her own feelings about life. For so long, she had been taught to enjoy whatever the man with her had enjoyed, whether it felt good to her or not. Howie wanted to break that flaw, deciding to show her as much love and adoration as possible, allowing her to choose freely what she liked and didn’t like. It may have been a small step, but Howie was determined.
"Mmm," she purred with delight, not expecting Howie to be so bold with the deeper kisses. The sizzling of her emotions was absolutely amazing as she pulled him closer, practically on top of her. She just wanted him as close as possible for fear of these new emotions completely disappearing and leaving her empty and numb again.
"Your kisses are just... amazing..." he finally breathed against her lips, pressing them together again.
"You taught me well," she complimented, gently running her nails against his bare, muscular back.
"God, I want to make love with you," he blurted in a whisper, his eyes growing a little wide at the realization that he just told her his deepest secret.
"Excuse me?" she laughed in soft surprise as Howie completely yanked himself away from her touch in embarrassment.
"I, uh... I'm sorry--"
"You don't have to apologize..."
"I didn't want to offend or scare you."
"You didn't offend me."
"Did I scare you?"
"No..." she trailed with a shrug of her shoulders, shifting her gaze toward the ceiling. "It's perfectly natural to want to have sex with someone you've been so physical with for the past couple of weeks. I mean, when we met, I was grinding on you, so why should I be scared that you're thinking about it?"
"It's not sex," Howie immediately disagreed.
"What?"
"I didn't say I wanted to have sex with you. I want to make love with you."
Grace immediately boosted her upper torso with the propping of her elbows. She looked slightly lost by Howie's distinction. "What's the difference?"
"What's the difference? There's a world of difference. Sex is just something you want to get that euphoria of an orgasm and you only think of yourself. Making love is... a deep connection between two people brought on by love and ecstasy."
Grace simply shrugged at his strong beliefs. "It's the same thing... It's the same act..."
"No, it's not. You get two completely different feelings."
"I think you're far too wistful."
"Sex and making love aren’t the same."
"Making love is just something people say to justify why they have sex."
"No it's not."
"And I guess you're going to tell me that you've made love before?"
"Once... a long time ago."
"And what happened to that magical love that's supposed to last you a lifetime?"
"She died in a car crash right after our first album was released in Europe."
Grace's hard gaze and contempt immediately broke with shame at Howie's confession. She felt a cold knot of guilt tighten in the pit of her stomach as she averted her gaze. The pain lacing through Howie's voice was unimaginable, almost haunting. Every time he challenged her beliefs, she ending up looking like such a fool. She hated that so much, now just wanting him to disappear. Or, maybe, she wanted herself to disappear instead. "...I'm sorry..."
"Thank you. But it's okay... she died instantly and she wasn't in pain. It took me a long time but I finally realized that it was just her time and that I want meant to be with someone else," Howie replied quietly. He never meant to embarrass Grace, she just had a knack of putting her foot in her mouth once in awhile.
"I guess..."
"You didn't do anything wrong."
"Okay..." she trailed, obviously uncomfortable with the way their conversation had turned. She released a soft sigh as she shifted in the bed, standing to start pulling the covers down. She wanted to signal to Howie that she was tired, perhaps then he'd leave her alone.
"Bedtime?"
"Yeah," she agreed softly, fussing with the pillow so she didn't have to look into his eyes.
"Alright," he sighed, standing as well. Yet again, he had made things uneasy between them.
"What are you doing?" she questioned, finally glancing up to catch Howie's eyes when he didn't leave the room. Her emerald eyes glistened with unshed tears that would never fall as she bit apprehensively on her bottom lip. Did he plan on spending the night in here?
"I was going to say goodnight, unless you just want me to leave--"
"No, I didn't mean it like that," she immediately interrupted, knowing she didn't have a right to be angry with him. His values and beliefs were entirely different from hers. "I didn't know if you were staying or... I mean, I know this is technically my bedroom at the moment, but..."
"Do you want me to stay?" he replied instead.
"I can't replace the woman that you lost," Grace contradicted, not wanting to get Howie's hopes up. She knew he had spoke of dating her exclusively, in fact, that's all she had thought about since he asked. But, now, it just didn't make sense for them to be together. No matter how much she enjoyed him. "I don't believe in love and I don't believe in making love. I've lived life just to survive and I don't think it's in me to change. I'm sorry that you lost someone important to you. Someone that probably made your life so much better than now... But, I'm not her..."
"Grace, I'm not trying to replace her with you. I may not know what you've been through but I understand it's a lot more than a single person has gone through. If her and I were supposed to be together, she wouldn't have died in the car accident. God needed her and has decided to bring you into my life. You may not believe in love, but it's there. Love has been around since the beginning of time."
"You need someone who shares your beliefs and values about life."
"I need you."
"I'm not good for you."
"Yes, you are. That's no one's decision but my own and you have done me a lot of good."
Grace exhaled a terribly shaky breath. "I don't want to follow in her footsteps, knowing you wanted her and God took her away... After all those other women hurt you... I don't want to be personified in them..."
"But didn't I just say you're not going to be? You're Grace. No one else except the woman I'm falling in love with."
"Howie, please--"
"You're Grace and only Grace. You can never take anyone's place because I have never met anyone like you. You're sweet, caring, funny, compassionate and absolutely beautiful."
"God, this can't be happening," Grace whispered, folding a hand over her face as she prayed slightly to make the feelings she had been so desperate to identify to disappear.
"What? Grace, what's wrong?"
"You're killing me," she stated plainly as she seated herself on the corner of the bed.
"Killing you? How... how can I kill you? I'm just telling you how I feel," he replied in utter confusion, kneeling in front of her.
"I've always been so numb... Just the most simplistic emotions to deal with... Then you come along and everything comes rushing in... Emotions I don't even know how to identify. You're offering me the world and Kit keeps begging for me to take it..."
"I've been praying that you would take it. I can make you feel happy, safe and loved. Something I know you haven't felt in a long time."
Grace let go of another shaky breath, just staring down at Howie as he kneeled in front of her. He reminded her so much of those fantasy princes encoded into the fairy tales that Grace always read to George's girls. It seemed so surreal, but she could reach out and run her fingers against his warm skin. She wanted it to be real. With every fiber of her being. But she didn't want to get hurt. "If... If I say yes to what you asked me before... What does that mean?"
"I'll give you everything you could want. I would love you with all I have and make you happy..." Howie brought his hands up to cup her rosy cheeks.
Grace moistened her lips as her body naturally started to tremble. "Is that what you want?"
"More than anything."
"Okay then."
"Okay then?"
"You said you wanted the chance to be my first lover or whatever..."
"So you're saying yes?"
"Yes," she confided, though her voice was soft and shy. "If you still want the chance, it's yours..."
"Oh Grace," he smiled, leaning up to kiss her gently.
"Oh Grace?" she questioned with a sweet confusion when their lips parted.
"You have made me the happiest person alive."
"You're welcome?"
"You're something else," he said once again, wrapping his arms around her as they kissed.
