"The party has officially bored me," AJ announced as he guided the scantily dressed Kitra into his master bedroom. He grinned wickedly as she sprawled out on his bed, allowing him to easily straddle her small body. She looked like a piece of dark Heaven in her black leather tube dress. It adhered to every curve of her gorgeous body, allowing her breasts to pop slightly from the top to make the guys pant with envy. And, AJ easily knew that she was his. They had been having the roughest, wildest sex for the past two nights. There wasn't an inch of his deluxe home that they hadn't fornicated in. The woman was absolutely ravenous for him, causing his member to harden just at the sight of her. It was hard to control himself in normal situations, so it was nearly impossible with all his friends flooding around. "But you, on the other hand, are quite entertaining."
"I've been told that before, but hearing it from you makes oh-so-nice," Kitra smiled, trailing her fingers down his strong chest.
"You're so hot, Kitra," AJ breathed, latching onto her neck for a strong sucking force that she enjoyed. He felt her body naturally arch against him, causing his grin to widen as he moved to bite on her bottom lip. Suddenly, he really didn't care that she was a prostitute or a recovering prostitute as Howie loved to say. He just enjoyed the physical closeness and the no strings attached games they played. It was hot and heavy - a rush of adrenaline.
"I think you may be hotter," Kitra moaned softly, reaching back to clutch his behind that he seemed to like during their foreplay. Being a prostitute for so long had taught her to fake orgasms and pleasure, but it still seemed surreal that she didn't have to with AJ. It felt exhilarating.
"Better than the men that paid?" he chuckled, moving his strong kisses toward the side of her face. He nipped against her pierced earlobe as his hands slipped behind her to free the zipper. He never had to ask with Kitra, because she was always ready. And, since she had a steady stream of birth control, she didn't force him to wrap up.
"Much better than the men that paid," she smiled, lifting her hips so he could slide the dress down.
"So, I could probably make you an offer that you couldn't refuse?" AJ guessed, tracing his kisses down the front of her throat, then to the sweet crevice between her breasts.
"Mmm... Mm-hmm... what's the offer?" Kitra replied in between moans as his kisses trailed down from her chest and back up to her throat.
"That you stop whoring around and make me your only customer," AJ started, sitting up to pull the wife-beater from his skinny frame. He then grinned as he leaned over her for a sweet kiss, which turned into a torment as he quickly withdrew from the heat. "I'll give you whatever you need or want, but you're mine."
"Just yours? All the fucking hot sex we could want with nothing attached?" Kitra bit her bottom lip in contemplation. Having a single customer like AJ could definitely have its pros...
"No strings attached," AJ promised. "And everything you could ever desire... Plus me for a bonus..."
"I think you've got yourself a deal, Mr. McLean."
"Alex."
"Alex... I like it. You should go by Alex more often."
"My mother only calls me, Alex," AJ chuckled, sliding off her hips. He bounced on the thick bed as he crawled toward his drawer, pulling out an expensive mirror of sorts with remnants of white powder. He then grabbed his favorite razor, crawling back to Kitra. He offered a rough kiss against her lips as he withdrew a small baggy from his back pocket. Only the best suppliers came to his parties.
"Are you comparing me to your mother?" Kitra tried to joke, chewing on her thumbnail as she watched him prep some lines.
"No, I'm saying that only special people in my life can call me Alex," AJ explained, making sure the white powder was extremely fine. Almost like a faint dust. "D used to call me Alex..."
"Why aren't you two close anymore? I used to see TV specials and it doesn't seem like that in person. If you don't mind me asking..."
"I don't know," AJ shrugged, his eyes darkening to betray his simplistic statement.
"Alex--"
"Ladies first," AJ interrupted, handing over the small mirror.
"Oh, I, uh... I promised Racie I wouldn't--"
"Excuse me?" AJ chuckled.
"I... I promised Racie I wouldn't use anymore..."
AJ sat back as he studied Kitra, unable to keep the laughter from his voice. "Is she really that cookie cutter? That wild little fireball that had let Nick practically bathe her in tequila and then dry her with his tongue doesn't want you enjoying life?"
"It's not that, she just doesn't--"
"She doesn't have to know, Kit. Don’t you want to feel good?"
"Of course--"
"And the orgasms are twice the pleasure if you're in the clouds," AJ promised, leaning to suck her earlobe into his mouth for a playful bite.
"Oh God... okay... give me the mirror," Kitra whimpered.
"Y'know, you really didn't have to come out on this walk with me," Grace volunteered after a considerable portion of silence had filled the small space between Howie and herself. For once it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but welcomed as she thought of him. For several days Kitra had been missing and Howie had done his best to soothe Grace's fears. And, as he consoled her, Grace found unfamiliar emotions growing stronger. She longed to speak to someone about what she was feeling, but she could hardly phrase such powerful emotions. It felt like she would go everywhere at once if her creamy peaches-and-cream skin had not been holding in her soul. Howie truly made her crazy, but she didn't know with what. She offered a sweet smile when she caught his fascinated dark eyes watching her every move. Their hands were linked as they slowly paced along the wet shoreline in their bare feet, the sun slowly beginning to decide it might sink into its nestled water bed.
"I know, I came because I wanted to," Howie replied, smiling softly. It seemed surreal that he was actually holding hands with the woman he had dreamed of those lonely nights in his home and walking down the beautiful beach. "Besides, you needed company."
"I didn't need company," she assured as he tugged their linked hands closer, in turn, causing her to step closer into his side. She felt her skin prickle with an intensity of heat, sending a flood of overwhelming excitement to the very core of her heart.
"Well... I needed company, then?"
"You're something else," she laughed softly, trying to ignore the sensations building in her body.
"That's what you keep telling me," Howie admitted, unable to truly stop smiling as he watched her closely. Her cheeks were always a rosy hue whenever he entered the room and he could feel her body's sensual reactions against him as he pulled her closer. Yet, he couldn't help but become slightly nervous. After all, Connie had left such a large hole in his heart and the others from previous girlfriends hadn't even begun to heal properly. But Grace was so different. So special. He was just unsure of his ability to love her properly. Or even his ability to make her love him. He didn't want to be hurt again, but more importantly, he didn't want to hurt Grace.
"Besides, why would you need company?" Grace trailed onto a tangent, stepping onto a long boulder that had interrupted her path. She released Howie's hand for a moment to climb up, balancing perfectly with grace as he followed from below. "Mr. Popstar who could have any woman he wants in the entire world. Millions love you. Company is the least of your worries, Stranger."
"That's what everyone thinks but it couldn't be farther from the truth," Howie disagreed with a shake of his head, causing some curls to fall against his forehead as he watched her walk along the boulder. "Yeah, I may be able to get some random woman to stay with me each night like AJ, but it comes at a price."
"What, some chunk change out of your bank account?" Grace asked before she could stop herself.
"No. A broken heart."
Grace stopped her delicate trapeze on the long rock, glancing down at the sorrowful man. Her heart beat increased as a vice seemed to crush it with an icy vengeance at the sound of Howie's pain. She frowned openly at his hurt, wrapping her good arm around herself to stop the coldness circulating. For a moment, she felt like wishing death on whoever could think to hurt such an innocent soul. But, she swallowed her anger, more concerned for the innocent than for the person who deserved an angry wrath. "Who hurt you?"
"More than one person," Howie replied, his voice catching. He shoved his hands deep into his khaki pockets, looking down at the sand. "I thought they loved me but all they wanted was my money and fame. Each and every one cheated on me. They made sure to humiliate me. None of them cared."
"Dear God..." Grace whispered, crouching down on the rock into a sitting position. She wanted to reach out in attempts to bring him close, but that feeling was far too new to her to be performed. Instead, her emerald eyes grew misty with emotion for him. She may have been hurt in her lifetime, but she had never given much to any relationship because of the hurt. It made it easier, but she knew Howie probably gave everything only to be burned in the very worst of ways. "I'm so sorry, Howie."
"Thank you. But it's my own fault. I put all my trust and faith and... my all into each of those women and all it gave me was heartache. Women involved with show business are very cruel and I should have realized that after the first time..."
"You shouldn't have to take the blame for attempting to live life to its fullest. There's no shame in putting everything into something, because you are putting everything of your essence into it. If anything, those women are at fault... And, if God is loving like I pray He is, then He's going to bring you someone very special. You can't turn cold to this world, Stranger... Because if you do, then those who've lost their ways in life are truly doomed," Grace explained softly, tucking back a few fallen strands of honey curls that had fallen into her beautiful eyes.
"Grace, I..."
"God takes care of everyone," Grace explained through Howie's loss of words. She leaned forward from the large rock, managing to sleekly tuck a fallen dark curl away from Howie's handsome face. "And, he has special plans for his angels, especially the ones with golden hearts."
Howie was silent for the long moment, continuing to stare at the still hot sand of the beach. His dark eyes burned with unshed tears, but not from pain. More so, from the beautiful words falling from Grace's sweet lips. She was eloquent and poised, far more intelligent than many men gave her credit for. She had the soul of an innocent angel, tainted by the ugliness impressed upon her in this world. He really was starting to believe that God had sent her specifically to him. She was his to love eternally. And, Howie believed he already loved her more than she could dare to realize.
"And... Now that I've made a total ass of myself..." Grace muttered, taking his silence as something wrong. She attempted to stand on the rock, continuing with her walk until a large wave soaked the rock. Her footing slipped and she tumbled backward into the ocean. She landed with a sharp thud as another wave crashed against her back, instantly soaking her clothing. Grace cringed as a salty flavor entered her mouth. "Twice! ... God, I hate the ocean."
"Grace! Grace are you okay?!" Howie's eyes widened in shock as he ran around to see what damage might have been done.
"I'm fine," she promised as another wave crashed over her head. She was somewhat thankful to have a water proof cast, until another wave rose. She sputtered the water as she attempted to rub it from her mouth, only adding to the disgusting salty flavor. She shivered with disgust as Howie reached to help her up. "My pride, on the other hand, is sorely damaged..."
"Come on, we need to get you into some dry clothes," Howie bent down and looped his arms under Grace's to boost her up.
"Did I mention I hate the ocean?" Grace voiced as she wrinkled her nose with true aggravation, stumbling with Howie's help right into his arms, brushing tightly against his chest. It was almost as if lightening had struck against her spine, causing her to gasp.
"Yeah, more than once now," Howie whispered, looking deep into her emerald-green eyes.
"It was hard to adjust to this huge city when I was younger... Especially the ocean... I fell in love with my lake at home. It's so calm and peaceful, y'know? Gave me comfort when the world was so chaotic. I'd just jump into it and it'd cleanse away the pain... Then I get here and the ocean is so unruly and wild... The salt seemed to burn my wounds... It never seemed to fit..." Grace rambled as she nervously licked her bottom lip. She was acutely aware of the sweet scent Howie projected and the warmth of his body. She could hear the soft thud of his heart beat, causing deep reactions within her bruised heart. But she couldn't move from his grasp, mesmerized by his dark brown eyes, wanting to be in his embrace far more than she realized.
"They're two contrasting bodies of water, but they both have beauty in different ways. It just depends on how you're feeling at the moment," Howie made sure to stay connected with Grace, reaching down to run a hand through her soft curls. "The ocean can be as calming as a lake and a lake can be as wild as the ocean."
"How so?" she mused softly, studying the darkness of his eyes. In some way, it seemed as if he were maybe speaking about them. About their differences. How sweet their differences could be together. Grace attempted to swallow the lump in her throat as her heart fluttered. Her breathing uneven as a soft chill invaded her body, causing her chest to repeatedly brush against Howie's as he seemed to pull her closer. Though, she feared the chill wasn't from the nightly breeze.
"If you watch the ocean at night, you can see waves crashing against the rocks and the soft hiss as the mist floats into the air... and it seems so serene in the moonlight that you would never guess that it could cause so much damage," he attempted to explain one another with the metaphor of water. He felt his head lean down closer to Grace as he continued. "A lake may be calm and placid at night, but it can be just a rough during a storm as the ocean. Waves topped with whitecaps that cause sailboats to almost fly in the air, waves rushing against the shoreline."
"I suppose I can give you that..." she agreed after an overwhelming period of sexually tensioned silence. "...But I miss the lake so much..."
"Maybe someday soon we could take a little trip. I know a lake that would be perfect. The state doesn't allow motorized water vehicles on the water, so it's clear and unpolluted," he offered softly.
"Why would you do something like that for me?"
"Because I want to."
"We would take a weekend get-away together?"
"If you would like."
"Just us?"
"Just you and me."
"If you're not too busy..." she trailed, continuing to slowly search the depth of Howie's beautiful chocolate eyes. She could see the faintest glimmer of his soul at first glance, but studying him she became overwhelmed with the passion lurking below. Her breath caught against her throat as she attempted to pull away, her heart aching for Howie to say or do something more... Though, she couldn't identify it.
"I would never be too busy to take you," he felt her tug against his embrace and he tightened in returned, bringing her closer.
Grace's body tensed as Howie folded her closer to him. Their bodies seemed to melt into one another, forming one complete soul. Fire licked against every nerve of Grace's body, causing her breath to quicken. Howie was spinning her in circles. His words danced upon important factors, never bothering to touch, confusing her greatly. "Why am I so special?"
"Because you've been special since the night I met you. I don't know how to explain it Grace, but you've made me feel things I never thought I would ever feel," Howie confessed, feeling her tense. It was now or never.
"What do you mean?"
"Happiness and love."
"Excuse me?"
"I thought I knew what happiness was but I never felt it until I met you and... I just feel this love pouring from me out to you so much it feels like Niagara Falls--"
"Love?" she interrupted, somewhat floored by the explanation. Her heart skipped several beats at the confession, because that's the emotions she hadn't been able to identify for several weeks. But her mind spoke otherwise. She had never felt love before and believed that it never existed. And for him to claim something so powerful was earth-shattering. She took a deep breath, but it locked within her chest.
"Yeah... love. I was trying to find it in all the wrong places until I met you," he replied, feeling her heart pound against his chest.
"You're obviously still looking in the wrong places," she wheezed, attempting to break away from his grasp. The comfort she felt with Howie's arms around her now became unsettling. Their special touches throughout the passed days seemed tainted in her mind. Not disgustingly tainted, but fearfully tainted.
"No, I don't think I am."
"Howie, no--"
"I may not know much of your past, if any of it, but I just have this gut feeling and I'm going with it."
"Please, don't--"
Without warning, Howie interrupted her with a deep yet gentle kiss.
The pleading words quickly died within her throat as Howie's hand reached to cup the back of her neck. He pulled her closer as their lips continued to connect and she reciprocated the affections. Tilting her head to ease the access, their kiss broke into several, allowing their tongues to knowingly caress one another as shivers raced between them. The explosion of romance's electricity was phenomenal, nothing Grace had ever experienced before. She felt as if she were falling inside Howie, intermixing with his soul as his lips slowly softened against hers before pulling away.
"...That was my first kiss..." Grace whispered.
"Did I help make it a memorable one?" Howie murmured in return, pressing their foreheads together as his hand still stayed behind her neck.
"No one forgets their first kiss..." she answered vaguely, swallowing hard in attempts to forget the sensations slowly pulsating from every angle of her body. She had never wanted to kiss a man before, terrified at the emotional significance it may have had. If anything, kissing was only a painful reminder of what she could never had. Yet, with Howie, it gave her hope.
"But was yours bad or good?"
"Wonderful."
"Really?"
"Really," she admitted, allowing her emerald eyes to flutter open in order to greet Howie's gaze. For a moment, her eyes hardened into a look of worry as she assessed Howie's simplistic statement. "Why? Wasn't it what you wanted?"
"It was more than what I wanted... I've just never had anyone say that and mean it," he tried to explain.
"You've done so much for Kit and me, so the very least I can do is be honest with you," Grace assured, shyly reaching to rub her thumb across Howie's bottom lip. The moist warmth caused her to bashfully smile, causing a rosy hue to accentuate her peaches-and-cream complexion. She wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream.
"I just... I..." Howie stammered, tears misting in his dark eyes.
"Howie? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he promised with a strained whisper, actually quickly releasing her from his grasp. He moved to hold a hand against his face, turning to shield her from the powerful emotions causing tears to streak painfully. "Let's go get you some dry clothes, Grace. You're still soaked.”
"I don't care," Grace quickly disagreed, reaching to grasp his upper arm. She attempted to turn him despite her small stature, gently cupping his tear streaked face into her free, small hand. "Stranger... What'd I do?"
"You didn't do anything wrong," he promised, clearing his throat as her hand warmed his chilled cheek. "I haven't met anyone like you and to have them feel some of the same things I do, it just... it overwhelmed me."
Grace frowned softly, "I'm sorry--"
"No, it's nothing to be sorry about."
"I can leave you alone--"
"No!"
"What'd I do now?" Grace yelped in shock.
"Nothing! I mean..." Howie sighed, taking a moment to collect himself. "You didn't do anything wrong. For God's Sake, Grace, I just told you how happy you made me and I don't want to be alone."
Grace still paled at his outburst, withdrawing her hand away from his intensity. She remembered far too many nights when her father would become hyper for no apparent reason and she would suffer greatly. "You're making me nervous..."
"I don't want to make you nervous--"
"It's not your fault... I just... I don't want to do anything wrong," she tried to explain as best she could. It had always been a mortal fear as she grew up. She had to please everyone. Only until she reached Florida did she really start to defend herself for any means of survival. But, when she cared deeply for someone, she couldn't help but worry.
"No, no, no. Sweetheart, you didn't do anything wrong," he reassured quickly. "I didn't want you to leave me."
"I'm kind of new to this whole thing..." she explained softly with a mystified smile. She didn't understand why it was so important for him to keep her close. Why she was so important that he couldn't bear to part with her.
"I understand," he walked closer to her and linked both their hands together. "It's new to me, too."
"So... Are we heading back to your house?"
"Yeah, if you're okay with that. I just don't want you getting sick from those wet clothes. Build a nice fire, make some cups of hot cocoa and listen to some music... how does that sound?"
"Sounds good to me," she agreed, taking a quick initiative to bring him down the short inch to her height. She pressed a warm kiss to his lips, just wanting to make sure that the feelings continued to pulsate. And, in essence, they grew far stronger with the second kiss than the first. Grace knew Howie deserved all the love in the world and if she could offer a small token of what he deserved, though she wasn't sure love was possible, then she'd do it.
"Mmm, let's go inside," Howie finally replied after their tenth kiss.
"You're going to be late, Stranger!" Grace hollered loudly from her cuddled position on the long couch, briefly glancing up from the laptop that was downloading a variety of songs into her new MP3 Player. She had been going stir crazy without some kind of music to soothe her soul, so Howie went out immediately to fix the heartache. Not that she had asked for it, but he just seemed to be able to read her heart as the days continued to pass. It was slightly unnerving at points, especially since Grace tried to lock herself away. But the bundled pleasure of exciting emotions racing through her system was worth the worries. She knew she could keep herself at a distance, even if she was falling head over heels in her heart.
"I can't find that damn shirt... where is it? I normally keep it in this drawer!" Howie's frustrated voice floated down from his bedroom as drawers opened and closed erratically.
"Just put on something, it's not like you're dressing to impress! It's a meeting!"
"You don't understand the power of Kevin's wrath!" Howie growled, knowing he had to look presentable.
"What shirt are you looking for?" Grace sighed, unfazed at how close they sounded to being an actual married couple.
"My dark purple camp shirt! I just washed it last night!"
Grace grew silent for a moment, glancing down at her own wardrobe. She was wearing a white ribbed tank with a pair of short jean shorts, complimented with the exact shirt Howie was describing. It was honestly one of her favorite shirts, mostly because it allowed her to carry Howie's fresh scent with her when he was tied up in production meetings. When she was lonely, she just inhaled the lightness of the shirt and was warmed. She immediately wetted her lips with a slight amusement, hoping he wouldn't throttle her. "Can't you find another one to wear?"
"It's the only shirt that goes with these pants and I can't find a different pair of pants to go with a different shirt now, I'm already running behind!" Howie's voice raised what seemed to be an octave as he ran around his room.
"Are you always this difficult when it comes to clothing?" Grace groaned as she pulled herself away from the blankets she had been snuggling with. She slowly trudged up the stairs as she listened to a rash of Spanish explode from his bedroom. She was almost convinced that he would ground her once he realized she was wearing it.
"When it involves Kevin, yes! Now help me find the--" Howie stopped when he looked up at Grace and saw his shirt on her body. "…shirt."
"I found it downstairs and decided to wear it up so it wouldn't hurt my cast," she attempted pathetically to cover herself, offering a sweet, bashful smile filled with apologies.
"You... you had it on all this time..." he shook his head, trying not to laugh.
"Am I grounded?" she asked seriously.
"Grounded? From what? For what?"
"For stealing the shirt that you wanted to wear?"
"Why would you get grounded?"
"I don't know, it's what you tell Brian all the time about AJ and Nick..."
"AJ and Nick are two dumb-asses that do stupid shit where they need to get grounded. You're not like that."
"So, I'm adorable and completely forgive for stealing your shirt?" she questioned hopefully, puckering her bottom lip.
"How can I say no to that?" he finally laughed, kissing her pouting lips. "You're forgiven."
"Thanks," she chirped, practically glowing from the kiss. She attempted to hide the excitement, however, focusing on unbuttoning the shirt with her good hand. Then, she stepped toward Howie and draped it over his shoulders, helping to button it with one hand. "Guess you're going to have to smell me all day, huh?"
"There's nothing wrong with that. It'll help me get through the meeting," he smiled as they both finished buttoning him up. "Besides, you smell really good."
"Only because someone decided to buy me expensive perfume that I unfortunately absolutely adore," Grace sighed, attempting to push him toward the door and down the stairs. He was going to be outrageously late if he didn't hurry and Grace didn't need any more strikes against her when it came to his band-mates and friends.
"It's not just the perfume, you naturally smell good," Howie yelped slightly as he almost ran into the front door. "Babe, I'm a little late but I don't need a date with the door smacking my face."
"Then what kind of date do you need?" she laughed.
"One with you? A candlelit dinner with champagne chilling--"
"Stranger, do we not remember this horrible wrath of Kevin that you fear so much?" Grace groaned with a sweet laugh.
"Ooh, shit, I forgot!" Howie turned around and kissed her again. "I'll be back in a few hours."
"Have fun," she laughed, watching him dart toward his car with a gust of speed. Though, he made sure to turn back, waving brightly before pulling away. Once his expensive car disappeared, Grace snuck back inside, practically diving underneath her covers on the couch. She lay in the darkness for a minute before retrieving the faded journal from beneath the couch. Pulling her knees up to brace the old book, she opened it to the most recent list of lyrics she was working on. When she turned thirteen, her mother had given her this special journal to fill with all her 'special' thoughts. Grace had been given the gift of intelligence and a poetic justice that always seemed to spill forth on paper. She wrote the most beautiful songs, but tucked them deep inside the unknown journal, only allowing Kitra access.
"You take... you give... no... the damn word is on the tip of my tongue..." Grace trailed off before scribbling down the perfect line. She became caught up in the music flowing through her mind and onto the paper.
Since her first kiss with Howie, her lyrics had flooded with a passion for life that could hardly be seen in the beginning. Her words were cheerful and hopeful, far from the depressed anger that welled within her soul as she felt from the mountain of Kentucky and all her nightmares. Only, as she wrote these lyrics, she found herself somewhat confused. All the emotions were still very new and the idea of love caused a fresh ache in her heart. Howie had used that word several times, yet she couldn't reciprocate the value. She didn't know what love actually was. She had listened to dozens of romantic songs in her MP3 Player, but nothing made sense. Her lyrics were beautiful with a deep passion, but tipped toward the edges was the threat of true vulnerability. She truly wished Kitra was there to help her.
"Kit. Damn, where are you? We've got to figure out what we're doing with our jobs," Grace stopped writing for a moment, chewing on the cap of her pen. Howie already spoke against them going back to Devil's Playground or Kitra turning tricks, so they had to either go against his wishes or quit and pick up their last paychecks. Grace didn't want to depend on Howie for so many things but she also wanted to stop stripping.
Whatever the case may be, it was definitely in Grace's best interest to return to Devil's Playground. She could tie up the loose ends and explain to Devil (her boss) the possibility of returning to work when the cast was removed. She couldn't close off the opportunity entirely, knowing Howie was free to kick the girls out whenever he desired. Everything was so unstable when it came to her relationship with him, despite what she felt for him. She just needed something to catch her. Exotic dancing at Devil's Playground was good money, she couldn't deny that if Howie sent them packing. She just wanted Kitra to come with her, hopefully settle the debt evenly with Evan, no matter what he had done to them. At least Kitra would be free of prostitution then.
"I'll just talk to Devil and figure it all out when--"
"HONEY, I'M HOME!" Kitra's loud giggles suddenly erupted in the middle of Grace's spoken thoughts.
"Kit!" Grace exclaimed with relief, scrambling off the couch yet again. She hurried toward the door with an anxious flutter. She had been practically deprived of Kitra for an entire week. The younger woman had missed Kitra terribly, even though the week had been utterly fantastic with Howie. Some things just never could compete with a best friend. But, ever sentiment of longing left Grace's body in a cold chill when she discovered Kitra's obviously altered state of mind.
"What, no hug and kiss? C'mon, I've missed you!" Kitra grinned, still clad in the leather dress she had left in, though AJ had promised more in return for being his the whole week.
"Missed me so much that you forgot how to dial a telephone number?" Grace immediately ventured to guess, her voice crisp and cold. Kitra had promised so many times that she would stop using recreational drugs. They were dangerous and could cause serious addictions that only lead to more complications. It was hazardous, yet Kitra continued to 'love' life to the fullest. She looked as if she had been thrown from a wild hurricane, her blue-gray eyes bloodshot with heavy bags beneath, her hair wild from obvious 'play-time' with AJ. It was disgusting. "Of course... I guess I would forget to if I had a coke straw stuck up my nose the whole damn week."
"Give me a break, Racie! I didn't have a straw stuck up--"
"Or a needle in my arm... whichever you prefer, Kitra."
"So I had fun this week, what's wrong with that?" Kitra fired back, clumsily hanging up her leather coat in the foyer. She stumbled a little along the way, but made what she hoped was a quick recovery.
"Do you want me to start the list now or wait until you realize you're getting blood everywhere?" Grace snapped back with an unrelenting fury. She hated that Kitra chose to drown her pain inside empty alcohol bottles and packets of drugs. They may both have been guilty with hiding themselves, but Grace's outlet wasn't deadly. She had read up on cocaine addictions and whatever else Kitra could get her hands on. Death seemed imminent and that scared Grace terribly.
"Blood? What are you talking about?" Kitra gazed at Grace with confusion.
"You did too many lines this week, Kitra," Grace groaned as she reached to gather several tissues to push into Kitra's hands. "Your nose is bleeding."
"Oh shit," Kitra cursed, finally feeling the blood ooze down towards her lips. She pinched her nostrils shut, attempting to stop the flow before closing her eyes to avoid Grace's glare.
"You promised you would stop this shit."
"I know, but when Alex took it out I just--"
"Decided you couldn't say no?"
"You don't know what it's like to be addicted, Racie! You don't, so don't get all 'holier than thou' on my ass," Kitra snapped, opening her eyes as the bleeding stopped.
"Heaven forbid that I'm actually concerned about your stupid ass OD'ing with Alex and having no one around knowing how to dial 9-1-1!"
"I'm not going to OD!" Kitra growled, throwing her hands up into the air. The bloody tissues fell onto the floor with a soft thud. "I'm careful and I've never OD'd--"
"What, did you forget last year?"
"That was not an OD, Evan got a bad batch--"
"Bad batch my hairy, white ass, you stopped breathing! I had to jump on your chest just to make sure your damn heart didn't stop beating. And you promised me, Kit. Promised that you would stop scaring me like this! I take care of you! God knows I protect you when no one else will! But I'm getting tired of it!"
"You don't have to do any of that anymore, okay? You don't have to worry about my stupid ass because Alex will do it for you!"
"Alex?" Grace actually laughed at the absurdity of her thoughts. "Alex doesn't give two shits about you, Kit. He's only concerned about how far you can spread your fucking legs and get that coke straw up your damn nose."
"If it gets me money, food and clothes so I don't have to mooch off of Howie, then I'll fucking do it. Would you rather have me whoring to random guys or just one? The money I can make with Alex is three times what I did with Evan as my boss and there's no strings attach--"
"You're fooling yourself if you think there isn't going to be any strings attached with him," Grace interrupted, her voice barely above a strained whisper. She was far too aware of what Kitra wanted to say about what Grace was doing with Howie.
"Like you can talk, Gracie," Kitra sneered, ugly with the poison still sweeping through her system. "Playing house with Howie is only going to get you so far, Sweetheart. And I doubt your prudish stripper ways are going to entertain him for very long."
"Get yourself cleaned up before Howie comes home, Kitra," Grace stated cleanly, reaching to snatch the keys to their old car from the coffee table. She avoided the bold statements Kitra was making, afraid to even let her heart face that deep seed of pain.
"Running away again? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, it's one thing you're good at," Kitra continued, turning to head upstairs to her bedroom.
"It only comes in second to me always having to clean up your messes," Grace finished under her breath, refusing to let the single pair of tears fall from her beautiful emerald eyes as she stepped out.
