Chapter Eleven
Brian could swear that his heart had never pounded so fiercely in his entire life as it was at that moment. His palms were sweaty as he wiped them on his pants. In fact, his entire body was sweating. Butterflies filled the depth of his stomach, nibbling away at his insides. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Brian was absolutely petrified. He’d prayed this day would never come, staying awake as if that would make the night last forever and time stand still. Morning had come though, the sun slowly making its way up from behind the hills in the horizon. The final day of his trial was here. The day Brian’s fate would take its course and he’d find out the destiny the jury had voted suitable after six and a half months.
Turning and looking around at the near full court room, Brian tried to read what each person was thinking by the expression on their faces. After several moments, he gave up relentlessly, for every face was blank. Even the faces of his friends, which made him wonder if they were even on his side anymore, or if they were just there for show to make their reputations look good to the public for ‘standing by him’. Brian snorted back a laugh at the irony of the situation, because in reality, he knew he was alone. Unless the Judge declared him ‘not guilty’ Then, he would have friends coming back left and right as if nothing had happened.
Despite everything, Brian had to admit that he missed Julian more than anything. If he could take back time and undo everything, he would. She’d been gone for over eight months now. He knew she was dead. After all, nobody hearing from her was the first indication, then her body being found the final blow. A single tear formed in the corner of his eye as Brian realized he would never get to hold her in his arms again. He would never kiss her, cuddle with her, make love to her. They would never get married or have arguments that all couples had, and would never get the pleasure of making up, showering her with affections to get her forgiveness. He would never have any of it now. Not with Julian, anyways. Maybe not with anybody ever again.
Gazing over to Adrian and Kennith, Brian could easily see how tense they were. Likely, they were begging for him to be locked away for life on the inside, or even sentenced to death. Either way, he knew he’d be miserable. When it all came down to it, Brian wasn’t sure which he would rather if it came to the negative route. It seemed that no matter what, if he were found guilty, it was going to be a lose, lose situation. Hell, maybe he did deserve to rot away in a prison cell. After all, all of this was happening for a reason. To Brian, everything happened for a reason.
Suddenly, Brian wished that he could just die. He was hurting so much, emotionally, physically, mentally. He felt as if his insides were being torn out and ripped to pieces. His head pounded with an intense throbbing pain and his heart felt as if it were about to shatter. The only thing to him, that would take him from this misery, would be if he were to just end his time on Earth. After all, Brian didn’t believe that there were any possible way for any of it to ever pass. He would forever be tortured on the inside and out.
When the Judge appeared, Brian rose on trembling legs to his feet along with everybody else, and took his seat again upon the Judge stating that the court was, at that moment, now in order, Brian swallowed. He honestly could say he had no clue how this would turn out in the long run, but he knew that within a few short minutes, he would have his fate out in the open. If only he had any indication at all about what was about to happen to him. If only…
“When it comes to the murder of Julian Edwards, the State of Kentucky has ruled Brian Littrell…” the Judge started
Brian closed his eyes, the next second seeming to be an hour in itself. Time passed by in slow motion, and he held his breath as his sentence was spewed from the lips of the Judge.
“Guilty.”
Brian let out his breath as he hung his head low. Not a peep was heard and a few tears fell from his eyes. He didn’t even hear his sentence of thirty years to life in prison, because everything around him was just a whirl pool. And then suddenly, he felt two strong pairs of hands on either side of him as he was picked up and lead out of the court room. As he walked by, he saw the look of relief on Julian’s parents faces, and his friends avoiding looking at him all together. If he could turn back time and change everything, Brian would. But he couldn’t, and the sad truth was, he couldn’t even escape his misery. He would be forced to live with what had happened forever, without anybody by his side. He was all alone, and likely would be for the rest of his life.
As he was thrown in the back of the police car, Brian looked out of the window, trying to make the most of it, as he didn’t know when he would get to enjoy the outdoors again. It was a partly cloudy day, the sky darkening as if fitting his mood, and when a couple of raindrops fell, it was as if the angels of Heaven were crying for his troubled, demented soul.
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Flashback
March 25th, 2006
“Mmm…I love your kisses.” Julian mumbled as she leaned in to Brian, hungry for more.
Brian laughed softly as he caressed Julian’s skin, not letting up on the kisses. He’d been away for far too long, and now it was time to catch up with his girlfriend. They’d gone through a rocky few months while he’d been on tour with the Boys for the US/Canada portion. After all, she’d declined his proposal right before the tour, and then they’d agreed that maybe it would be a good idea if they’d spent some time apart. He’d been distraught at the time, but after several months to sleep on it, he’d decided that none of that really mattered. All they needed was more time before taking that next and final step in to their relationship.
“I missed you, Jules.”
“I missed you.” She breathed back, kissing his neck in a way that caused shivers to go up and down his spine.
A cool night breeze filtered the air, blowing through the open window. The curtains rustled in the wind, making the setting even more romantic in its own little way. The moon was high and bright, the stars clearly visible. They shone through the window, casting their glow upon the couple as they held one another in bed.
As they continued to make out, stripping one another of their clothing, Brian was starting to unhook Julian’s bra as he reached to the nightstand to pluck a condom from the bottom drawer. Fumbling around with the bra clasps as well as the drawer, he felt something shoved between the nightstand and bed, shoved under the bed slightly. Grabbing it with his hand to see what it was, Brian saw a pair of boxers that weren’t his. He swallowed, sitting up quickly as he pulled away from his confused girlfriend. Quickly flipping the light on, his breathing became heavy as he swallowed back his aching heart and anger.
“Wha…what’s this?” he asked.
“Your boxers, silly.” Julian laughed somewhat nervously, leaning over to kiss Brian on the shoulder and try to pull him in to an embrace to get his mind off of it. Brian roughly pulled away though, standing up. His skin started to prickle in anger, his body becoming hot. Julian got up after him, confusion etched in her face.
“What is it?”
“Don’t play dumb with me…whose are these?”
“Yours.” She said again, only less convincingly this time.
Brian laughed bitterly as he shook his head, looking on the inside of the boxers at the tag. He looked back up, “Size small. I wear medium. Nice try, you dirty little tramp…now whose are they?” his voice was rising, and Julian was starting to break down and cry, “Answer me…NOW!” he demanded.
“I…I’m s-s-so sorry.” Her voice cracked when she answered.
“How many times?” Brian asked, his voice showing immense hurt as well as a hint of anger. When Julian bowed her head in shame without answering, his voice rose again, “HOW MANY TIMES?”
“Twice…only two times.” She cried out.
“When you’re devoted to somebody, once is too many.” Brian yelled, “Why?”
“You were never home…it just happened. It was a mistake….I swear.”
“I was never home?” Brian cried out in disbelief, “Maybe because I was working half way across the world! I proposed to you. Did that not tell you at all how I felt? Are you that heartless?”
There was nothing Julian could say as she tried to hide her face that was now tear streaked. She was ashamed, wanting to take it all back. Why had she cheated on Brian? His words were harsh and stung, and as much as she didn’t want to hear the verbal blows, she knew that she deserved them. God, how she hoped that this would blow over, because here she was in a fight with Brian and it was tearing her apart. She knew now that she couldn’t live without him. She wanted them to work out, more than anything.
“I don’t think I can see you anymore.” Brian stated angrily, crushing Julian with his confession.
“Please, don’t do this. I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. Can we work things out? Please…try again..forgive and forget. I swear, it will never-“
“SHUT UP!” Brian interrupted, “You’re a slut. I cannot trust you. It was probably more than twice. Now get out of my house.”
“It’s mine too.” Julian defended, “I live here…please lets talk about this.”
“GET OUT!” Brian bellowed, “It was my house before yours. I NEVER want to see your STD infested face again, you little whore.”
All of a sudden, Julian reached out, slapping Brian firmly across the face as she continued to cry, standing there in nothing but a bra and panties. A sharp pain stung Brian’s cheek as the imprint of her hand was left. Now, he was really irate, seeing nothing but red as Julian continued to sob. He didn’t care though, she’d crossed the line. He slowly started to walk towards her, backing her against the wall. The cold breeze that filtered the air caused a shiver to crawl up her spine as she saw the look of insaneness in his eyes.
“Don’t you slap me,” Brian warned, “You cheat on me, but can’t take the blows yourself. You’re a slut. Why don’t you go become a damned prostitute, because then you can parade around naked for a new guy every night, and get paid for it.”
“STOP IT!” Julian screamed, covering her ears. Brian grabbed her arms, tearing them away from her head as he shook her, “Stop…please st-t-top! I’m sorry.”
“That’s not enough. I LOVED you more than life itself, and this is how you pay me back? Bringing a random guy in to MY house? I hate you. I HATE YOU!.”
Julian was shaking in fear now, choking on her sobs. Doing the only thing she could think of, she lifted her knee up, brining it in to direct, rough contact with Brian’s genital area to get him to let her go. He tensed, his grip tightening on her as, with one hard shove, he pushed her. Brian heard her screams and then a thud as she fell through the screen of the open window and landed hard on the ground, but he was already turned around, storming out of the room in hurt anger. He didn’t care, and as for what happened next, he wouldn’t care either. He refused to be held accountable for it. To Brian, none of this was his fault. Julian had brought it all upon herself.
Author's Chapter Notes:
So here is Chapter 11. There is only one chapter left after this...and I will post it tomorrow probably...but I want to know what everybody thinks (thoughts, reactions....that kind of thing) sooo! lol...Enjoy the chapter, leave a review and you'll likely see the ending tomorrow. *grins* Thanks!!!
