Why couldn’t I tear people’s hearts out with words and scar them with laughter?
Two
Lunch is disgusting but by the time the bell rings for lunch, I’m hungry. So I eat the crap. I always carry my things with me through the lunch line. I learned that the hard way. I’ll elaborate later.
I set my lunch down at my table and sat down ignoring the laughter my way. It was a table full of boys. Something about my body probably. Basically, everything is nearly non existent. I’m still in a 36 B in bras. I consider that big.
I look over lunch. It’s teriyaki chicken with white rice and an egg roll that tastes rather salty. I crunch into the egg roll. A boy comes over and sits at the other table connected to mine. The tables are like white rectangles with benches. Two tables that could maybe sit three on each side comfortably are pushed together to sit twelve to a “table”. I slowly stopped chewing and looked at who dared to enter my domain. It was better that I was alone. No one could hurt me then.
“And what the hell are you doing?” I ask in my toughest voice looking sarcastically appalled.
“I’m eating my lunch.” He responded softly.
“I can see that.” I finished chewing my egg roll and swallowed. “I just want to know why you’re sitting at
my table.”
“Because there’s no where else to sit.”
“Oh there isn’t?” I asked.
“No.” he responded sucking in breath.
“Too bad…move. These seats are reserved.” I said smiling briefly. Diamond pissed me off. She told me she’d give me my pad next week. One week without otta teach me a lesson. I should teach her a lesson by kicking her ass. That seems to work with my age group. Wonder if it would work for adults.
“I don’t see your name anywhere.” He said. His voice was still quiet and I could barely hear it above all the
people talking in the cafeteria.
“Huh?” I asked. With all the sarcasm I had stored in my body, I don’t understand why I didn’t understand what he meant.
“Your name, I don’t see your name anywhere on this table that says you own it.”
“Look, just make this easy. Shut up and move,” I said getting annoyed. He wasn’t moving and I didn’t want
to look in his eyes. They were a deep brown and they were beautiful. I didn’t understand. He had beautiful
eyes but they were brown.
“I’m Howard.” I looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
“You act like I care what your name is.” I said eating some rice. It tasted like nothing.
“Your eyes tell a different story.”
“Shut the hell up and leave.” I snapped, “What are you, a poet?”
“Want to read some of my poems? I didn’t know you’d be interested.” I starred at him. His eyes were amazing and I liked him. He was nearly as sarcastic as me. He had brown curly hair and a tanned complexion compared to my pale complexion which I also hated.
“Fine you can stay.” I said beginning to eat the rest of my lunch.
“What’s your name?”
I stuffed chicken in my mouth. It was good and salty.
“Lucca.” I was sleepy now. He nodded and ate some more lunch. He grabbed his book bag and swung it over his shoulder. Standing up he walked away to the trash can and threw his lunch away. Then he came back and sat back down across from me.
“Can I help you?” I asked him sarcastically loud with big eyes like I was happy to see him.
“You can tell me your full name.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you because you’re cute. But you’ll have to wait till hell freezes over.”
I smiled and continued eating my lunch quietly. The bell rang and I dropped my fork on the tray and grabbed my things.
“Aren’t you gonna get that?” he asked and I looked at him with a grin.
“You serious?” I asked as I walked away to the door. I followed behind the losers and heard the popular kids laughing and screaming. I heard my name come from someone’s mouth. I knew it was Jenna. Oh well, I was gonna hit her with a car in the future so it didn’t bother me that much.
I walked through the halls and I walked into my next period class.
“Just sit in any seat.” I didn’t ignore him, I just didn’t acknowledge him. He didn’t like that. Probably something about a illegal Chinese descendent ignoring a real, white American man.
“Excuse me young lady, I’m talking to you.” He said and I looked at him.
“Yes sir.” I said sarcastically. “I’m so, so sorry. Hello, how’s your day?” No one was here yet so I’d just show him that I could care less about English.
“Listen Ms. Hai. I’ve heard about you. I won’t put up with your rudeness. You can walk right out the door as fast as you walked in.” he said and I dropped my bag in the farthest corner of the room. I thought I’d just give being invisible another try.
“Front. Right here by my desk.” He said tapping the desk he wanted me to occupy with his knuckles. I’m an idiot.
I sighed and dragged my book bag and plopped down. I felt naked and bare. Everyone started walking in and I was in the front row so everyone’s eyes landed on me first. I sat there aborting my plans for a forty minute nap. He’d tell me to wake up and all the attention would be on me.
“My name is Mr. Cutz. No jokes please, they’ll mostly be stupid anyway.” There was some laughter out of some people. It was stupid and not funny. I just wish someone would tell him he was stupid and not funny.
“I’m your English teacher and let me tell you something. This class can be fun or it could be the most horrible class in your lives. You decide.” He was one of those teachers. The ones where they try and be your friend. He’d turn into an asshole to everyone eventually.
“We’ll start with a small introduction from everyone.” I thought that I would die. I wanted to melt. “Since I’ll be developing your speaking skills, this is a small evaluation. I suggest you stop starring at me and get started. You have exactly ten minutes.” He said and he pressed a button on his watch. He was actually going to time us because he was too stupid to look up at the clock in what felt like maybe ten minutes. I pulled a sheet of paper from my bag and held my art pencil in my hand. I starred at the point. It was a 2H so it wrote almost like a 2HB. I put the point to the paper and wrote a sentence.
My name’s Lucca Hai and I’m 13 years old. I’m from Chinese descent and that’s all I’ll let you know.
“Don’t you dare say that. Like I told you Lucca when you walked into this room.” I had a mini heart attack right then. He was standing over me and starring at my paper. There were a couple snickers from the corner where Jenna and her ugly friends sat. It was really time for me to destroy her.
“I want to now when you were born, Your full name. I want to know your parents’ names, how many cousins you have although I don’t care how many cousins you have. I want to know if I’ve had any of your brothers or sisters in the twelve years I’ve taught. You have seven minutes.”
I waited till he walked to the front of the class away from me.
My name’s Lucca Hai and I’m 13 years old. I’m from Chinese descent and I live with my grandparents. I have no siblings and I don’t know any of my cousins.
I erased I don’t know any of my cousins and wrote I have two cousins. I named them Liza and Peter.
My name’s Lucca Hai and I’m 13 years old. I’m from Chinese descent and I live with my grandparents. I have no siblinsg. I have two cousins named Liza and Peter.
“Time’s up.” He said and looked up. Lucca, please come up and talk first.”
“Can I go last?” I asked quietly.
“No, let’s go now.” He said and I stood. I walked up and ignored the giggles from around the class.
I looked at the sheet of paper and took a deep breath. I was shaking, my stomach was dancing and I began to sweat. I saw Robert sitting in front me reading a math book.
“My name’s Lucca Hai and I’m 13 years old and I’m 13 years old. I’m from Chinese descent and I live with my grandparents. I have no siblings and I have two cousins named Liza and Peter.” I wanted to melt. I knew
Jenna was about to blurt something out.
“Where’s your parents?” he asked.
“Dead.” I replied coldly. A little more coldly than I liked.
“I’d die if you were my daughter too.” I snatched a book off someone’s desk and threw it in Jenna’s face.
“You bitch, you bitch!” I screamed picking it off the floor and hitting her again with the book. I finally shoved her from the desk and raced out grabbing my things in the process. I heard him come after me. My name echoed in the halls as ran toward the school’s door. I ran around the school and rounded the corner of a near by alley behind a large brick building that housed a night club atop and an Italian restaurant on it‘s lower level. I hid by the dumpster by the side of a dumpster and I slammed my back against the wall. My lungs burned and I was shaking. I was scared and confused. It wasn’t my fault that it happened. It wasn’t my fault that he killed himself.
I slid down the wall and decided I wanted to die. I wanted to scream and rip something, someone apart. I pushed the hair from my face and wiped the tears from my hot face. I slammed my hands on the ground. The gravel dug into my skin as I just sat there, eyes closed letting tears slowly slid down my face.
I didn’t understand why this was me. Why I couldn’t be Jenna? Why couldn’t I be beautiful with blonde curly hair and shining blue eyes. Why couldn’t I tear peoples’ hearts out with words and scar them with laughter.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I hope you like. Please review. Thankyou by the way R&R.
