Nick stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame as he stared at the rumbled, empty bed. He knew she wouldn’t stay, he knew that she would flee at the very first opportunity and he also knew there was nothing he could have done to stop her, he couldn’t exactly hold her against her will. He stared at the empty, cold bed for a few moments longer, knowing that by noon the pain in his head would have ebbed in even further. If only he could sleep some more then maybe things would all seem a bit clearer, would seem simpler but he knew no matter how hard he tried the sleep would just not come. Insomnia was a bitch.
He rubbed at one of his eyes before he walked in to the room and made the bed, moaning inwardly when Layla jumped up onto it, creasing it all up again. “Layla off,” he told her with an impatient click of his fingers but the mutt glanced at him before making herself more comfy. He sighed in frustration as he grabbed for her collar, but she resisted, whining and looking at him with sad eyes and so he stopped pulling at her, instead choosing to sit beside her, rubbing her head slowly.
“Miss her too huh?” He asked as he fell back against the comfy guest bed, the bed that still smelled like her when he took a deep breath in. He absent mindedly stroked Layla as he thought back to the previous night, to their heated conversation after her secret had been spilled, to the awkward silence that had ensued after he told her he was going to be a part of his daughter’s life.
His daughter, that sentence still seemed weird but it didn’t freak him out as much as he thought it would, he had five months to make Adie see, five months to prove to her that he wouldn’t bolt, that surprisingly, he was ready for this commitment. He understood why she was so reluctant to believe him when he had kept telling her that he was okay with the pregnancy, that he wanted to be there, she remained sceptical right up until she went to bed last night, kept telling him that when the news finally sunk in, when he realised what it meant, he might change his mind. If he was honest with himself he knew that it was a possibility, he knew that as the time drew nearer to her delivery date he would probably be scared shitless but he had a huge responsibility now. In the past he had always shied away from them, distanced himself from his siblings so he didn’t have to get involved in the messy divorce battle his parents fought but when he looked back he regretted that. He should have been there for them, he was their big brother, he should have been the one to stand up to his parents and make them see what were doing, should have protected them. He cut all ties though, let them fend for themselves and had been the worst role model ever, going out and getting wasted, hooking up with random women to try and numb some of the pain he had been going through, no wonder his family had been such a mess.
Things had begun to change though, a change he realised he needed to make when he had met the ballsy ER nurse after breaking Kevin’s nose. It hadn’t been an immediate realisation, but once he had met with her family, saw how they interacted with one another, saw how close her and Rachel had been he knew he needed to work on that connection with is siblings and so that was where House of Carters had come from. Although it hadn’t been the best idea to broadcast it to millions of people, it had been the start of one healing process, and although his relationship with them was well on the way to being completely mended he knew there were other avenues in his life that needed attention. In order to do that though he needed to finally put some more of his demons to rest and in order to do that he needed to talk about them something that was going to be incredibly difficult but he knew it needed to be done. It needed to be done because he didn’t want to look back in twenty years and regret that he did not try to straighten things out with Adie, he didn’t want to have to explain to his Daughter why she had been bought up shuffled between two homes.
He pushed himself up from the bed and made his way towards his own room, he needed to see her again, they needed to talk more and so he picked up the house phone, even dialled most of her cell phone numbers but at the last minute he placed the phone back down. She would see that it was him, would more then likely think he was only calling to yell at her for the sneaky departure and he knew she sure as hell wouldn’t answer. Instead he picked up his cell phone and decided to text her.
“Just wanted 2 no that u got hme safe n r ok,” He read allowed as he typed, hitting the send button before he placed the cell phone back on the night stand and then he walked into the bathroom his head turning back into the direction of his room when he heard a familiar ring tone. He took his hand away from the tap of the shower before he got to turn it on and strode quickly into his room, his heart beating furiously because he knew the only person programmed under Sir Mixalot’s “I like big butts” was her. When he looked at the screen of his sidekick her picture was flashing, he grabbed for it quickly and pressed the accept button.
“Hello?” He answered.
“It’s me,” she almost whispered.
“You left,” he stated softly.
“Yeah…Chelle picked me up after her night shift,” She told him.
“I would have dropped you home,” he offered as he perched on the edge of his un made bed.
“She was heading home anyway.”
“She had to go in the complete opposite direction.”
“It’s done Nick, I’m home and I’m fine,” she told him firmly.
“Ok you could have woken me or left a note though,” he told her.
She chuckled sarcastically down the phone to him before saying, “You didn’t seem to care too much for the last note I left you.”
“Don’t,” he warned, his voice softening.
“Don’t what?“ She asked.
“Don’t try and make this into an argument Adie,” he told her hearing her sigh deeply on the other end of the phone. “We still need to talk and I mean talk not argue, not shout, not blame each other for what’s happened. We need to talk and work something out.”
“I know. I know we do, I uh I have the rest of the week off work maybe we could meet up,” she offered.
“Well what about today?” he asked.
“I can’t not today. I need…I’m going to dinner,” she hesitated, “I’m going to tell my parents.”
“Okay, are you going to tell…do you want me to tell Rachel and Alex?” he asked.
“They’re going to be there too so I might as well just get it over with,” she told him and he could hear the reluctance in her voice to do so.
“What do you mean get it over with?” he questioned.
“It’s not exactly going to go over well is it? Not with Rachel anyway.”
He hesitated for a moment before saying, “It doesn’t have to be this way you know.”
“Yes it does,” she quickly replied.
“Adie-” He tried but she only cut him off quickly, making her excuses of having to leave soon and still needing to get ready.
“So when are we going to discuss this?” He asked.
“Are you free tomorrow?” She asked.
“Yeah. Are you going to come here?” he asked.
“No,” she answered quickly. “I can’t.”
“Do you want to meet up somewhere for lunch?” He offered.
“And be overheard and have this spread like wild fire?” She replied sceptically.
“Then what do you want?” He asked sharply, apologising quickly when he realised how harsh his tone had been.
“I don’t know,” she answered and he knew she didn’t just mean she was confused about meeting up, that at least gave him some hope.
“What about Hamilton Creek?” He suggested, “We could walk Layla, talk, it’s secluded and it’s a week day so there won’t be a lot of people.”
“Yeah, yeah that sounds good. I‘ll meet you about eleven thirty?”
“Sure.”
“Okay I’ll uh I’ll see you tomorrow, bye,” she said.
“Adie?” He asked quickly hoping that she hadn’t hung up.
“Yeah?”
“I love you,” he told her softly knowing that he wouldn’t hear it back.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Nick.” With that he heard the familiar click of her hanging up and then the dial tone.
***
Adie had expected everyone’s reactions to her news and she hadn’t been wrong in what she had thought. Her parents had of course been shocked but after a few moments to process the news she had been wrapped in a big hug from her Mother, who of course ended up in tears at the news she was now going to have two grandbabies by the end of the year. Her Father had also been delighted to know that he would be receiving another grandchild and had told her that a delivery on his birth date would be the best present he could wish for.
Rachel hadn’t failed to disappoint either, and Adie had wished she could have taped her reaction because she couldn’t remember a time when Rachel had actually been that quiet, that open mouthed and that shocked for as long as she was. She had certainly found her voice though and Adie replayed the heated argument in her head as swung back and forth on the porch swing that hung from her parents back porch.
“Does Nick know?” Rachel had asked when Adie’s Father had finally sat down after wrapping his daughter in a hug.
“Yes,” Adie replied nodding in affirmation.
“So I take it that as he isn’t here you’re not getting back together?” She asked crossing her arms over her chest, resting them down on her own rounded belly.
“Rach-” Alex tried.
“What?” She asked turning her head to him, “It’s an appropriate question to ask, I mean he is the Father isn’t he?” She asked turning back to her sister.
“Yeah he is and no we aren’t getting back together.”
Their Mother, obviously feeling Adie’s unease about talking about Nick tried unsuccessfully to change the subject, “I think if we plan it right we could throw a double baby shower, I mean Rachel’s would be slightly later then usual and your’s would be slightly early but I think we cou-”
“- was that his choice or yours?” Rachel asked her eyes narrowing as she glared at her sister.
“Rachel-” Alex tried to intervene again but like before she carried on, ignoring her husband.
“Well?” She asked staring at Adie.
“Mine. It was my choice Rachel and I would rather not get into this now and ruin dinner,” Adie told her sternly before turning to her Mom with a smile. “Do you want to know whether it’s a girl or a boy?”
“You know?” She asked excitedly making Adie nod, but before she could tell her Mom she was going to have a granddaughter she heard Rachel mutter something with a shake of her head.
“What?” Adie asked looking to her sister. She knew full well what had been said but just wanted her sister to repeat it, just to give her a reason to start the fight her sister so obviously wanted.
“I called you fucking selfish,” she said loudly her eyes darkening making Alex sigh as he reclined back in his chair, as if he was mentally bracing himself for the argument that was about to ensue.
“You have no idea what is going on Rachel,” Adie told her.
“I’m pretty sure I do.”
“You have one side of a story. Have you once come to me to talk about why I decided to leave? Have you once listened to me? Have you once called to ask me if I’m okay about my relationship being over? Have you?” She asked, “No you haven’t instead you’ve taken his side.”
“I haven’t taken sides,” Rachel tried but it just made Adie shake her head with sarcastic laughter escaping her lips.
“You’re kidding right? It’s all been about Nick, poor Nick coming home to note, coming home to an empty house, Nick’s my best friend now and I don’t like seeing my best friends get hurt. Well you know what I’m your sister and not once have you asked me how I am, not once have you even thought about how hard this has been on me,” Adie told her sister, her voice raising a few octaves as her vision began to blur with tears which she prayed would not fall.
“Hard on you? You’re the one who decided to leave!” Rachel bit back.
“Girls,” Their Mother tried to interject but neither listened, their tirade against each other carrying on.
“Because I haven’t been happy, because he’s been the selfish one but you are to narrow minded to see that, and maybe that’s my fault because I haven’t really spoken to you about what’s been going on with us behind closed doors. Do you know how difficult it was for me to build up the courage to leave? How hard it was for me to face the reality that I am going to be on my own ?” Adie asked, damning herself when a stray tear fell but obviously her reasoning wasn’t enough for Rachel.
“It was your choice Adrianna,” She said coldly.
As she thought back to the fight she felt another stray tear escape. She was always going to be the bad guy, she was always going to be the heart breaker, the evil bitch who left him without a word and yet again he would be the victim in all this. She didn’t think that was very fair because it had taken two of them to screw up this relationship but certain people didn’t see it like that. She heard the back door open and quickly wiped away the tear, trying to collect herself as Alex sat down beside her. He didn’t look at her, didn’t say anything, all he did was wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her towards him, rubbing at her shoulder gently when she began to cry.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffed.
“Don’t be, she was out of line in there I just told her so and I think you folks are re iterating that now,” he told her.
“God,” she sighed. “I don’t want you two fighting over this, I knew this would happen, I knew…it’s too difficult to not take sides and I’m the bad guy here os of course you are all going to side with Nick.”
“I’m not taking sides Adie, believe me I’m not going to do that. I mean I don’t agree with how you left him but I know you had your reasons and believe me I know Nick is no angel. I just don’t like seeing either of you like this.”
The porch door swung open again and Rachel stood in the gap as she looked at Alex, tossing his jacket to him before saying, “We’re leaving.”
“I’m talking,” He told her.
“We’re leaving,” she told him again.
“No I’m talking to your sister and we haven’t finished yet,” He told her starting to becoming agitated.
“It’s fine Alex,” Adie tried but he turned to her quickly.
“No it’s not, I’m not ready to leave yet,” he said turning back to Rachel who was now almost beet root red with rage, her eyes dangerously dark and small.
“Make your own way home then, I’m taking the car,” She said as she turned quickly leaving the door to slam shut.
“Four more weeks Alex, four more weeks,” He calmly told himself.
“What?” Adie asked slightly confused.
“She is getting the benefit of the doubt at the moment and can use the excuse of hormones and being tired and uncomfy but god help me and the world if this is what motherhood is going to do with her.”
“I don’t want this to come between you two,” Adie told him again.
“Sweetie it won’t, she’s just tired. So due in November huh? Makes you four months along?” He asked as he worked it out in his head.
“Seventeen weeks,” she nodded with a smile.
“How long have you known?” He asked.
“About two and half weeks.”
“How long has Nick known?” He asked her.
“About twenty eight hours.”
“How did he take it?” He asked.
“He didn’t bolt but I think he was kind of shocked,” she said as she played with the hem of her top.
“I think we all were,” he admitted with a deep chuckle.
“He says he is going to be there you know, that he is going to be involved whether I like it or not, he wants to be a Father to her.”
“Her? I’m getting a niece?” he asked with a big smile.
“Yeah. I never…I didn’t think he would react this way, I thought he would run, be in total denial,” she said softly staring out in front of her at the green garden before her.
“Nick’s always had a way with surprising people like that. Now that he has, does that change anything?” He probed softly.
“I don’t think so,” she admitted with a shake of her head as she quickly wiped at her eyes again.
“Why not?”
"Because when she’s here, when he finally realises that this is real and what implications having a baby has…he might change his mind and run then…I can’t take that risk,” she said whispering the last part.
“If you never took a risk Adie life would be really boring.”
“It’s not just me to think about anymore though is it?” She asked.
“No you’re right you have your baby to think about, but just answer me one question okay? If you could be certain that he would wouldn’t bolt, that he could change would you back to him?”
She didn’t even have to think about her answer and before she knew it a soft and barely audible “Yes” had escaped her lips.
