Sunday was always the day that everyone would met up at Stuart and Izzy’s for brunch, it didn’t matter if you were hung-over or just finished a night shift it was like a ritual and even when Adie had been working on a Sunday Nick had always shown up.

He had missed it when she had left.

He loved her family, loved how close they were, loved that they had accepted him almost instantaneously because it was a stark comparison to his own. Maybe that was why it had hurt so much when she left because he hadn’t only lost her, he had lost this surrogate family. Even though Izzy had called him the moment she had found out about her daughters departure, assuring him that when her daughter finally answered her calls she would be getting a piece of her mind, he knew if Adie decided it was over her Mother would always choose her. That was what Mother’s did…“well maybe not all Mothers,” Nick thought to himself, shaking the thoughts of his Mom from his head.

He looked out through the open window as he and Rachel cleaned up the kitchen and watched Adie as she basked in the sunny day, laughing at something Alex said. She seemed as if she was glowing and he wasn’t sure whether it was from the tan she had gained from spending all day in the sun with him yesterday or because she was carrying his child, but she had never looked so beautiful, so happy as she did at that moment and it made him smile because it gave him hope. Hope that in the future they would be doing the same thing with their children, hope that the family he was just starting would turn out like the Jones’s and not like the Carter’s.

He let out a small chuckle when Adie excitedly grabbed her Mother’s hand and pressed it to her stomach which was hugged tightly by the tank top she was wearing. He thought back to earlier that morning marvelling at how they had managed to make it on time because she had tired on at least four different outfits, becoming more and more pissed off when nothing seemed to fit right. She had eventually settled on the chocolate brown gypsy skirt Rachel had given her from her own pregnancy and a white tank top that clung closely to her, extenuating her bump, something she had disliked until he had walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her middle and told her that she looked gorgeous. Adie had glanced at him through the mirror with a questioning look but when he added a bit more pressure to her bump making the baby kick she had chilled out a little and he quickly got her out of the house while he could.

Nick laughed again when Izzy smiled brightly as she clapped her hands together after feeling the baby move.

“What are you laughing at?” Rachel asked as she peered out of the window. “Is it kicking?”

“Yep and she’s a she not an it,” he told her placing the plate back into the cupboard when he had finished drying it.

“She is better then it? Max was known as It and body stealer, there were so many times when I nearly let it slip that he was a he,” She said handing Nick another plate.

“I thought you guys didn’t know until he was born?” Nick questioned.

“Alex didn’t but I did, he didn’t know I did but I did,” She admitted, “So don’t you dare tell him!”

“I’m still in shock you could keep a secret for that long.”

“Hey I can keep a secret!” She told him as she splashed some water in his direction, quickly looking out of the window when she heard Max start to cry. She opened the window and yelled out, “Is he okay?”

Four “Yes’s” trailed through the open window and Nick found himself laughing again as Rachel watched like a hawk from the window, mumbling something about “support his damn head.”

“Oh God you’ve gone completely neurotic ,” He cackled ducking when she threw the sponge at him.

“I have not!” She protested.

“You so have!” Nick accused again, still laughing.

“You just wait until your baby comes along,” she told him with an accusing finger. “Adie’s always been neurotic about everything and she’s a paeds nurse, you are going to spend more time up the hospital with that baby then you will home because she is going to convince herself that the baby has every god damned thing wrong with it. Whose laughing now?!” She asked with a grin when she saw how Nick’s face sobered in realisation.

“Shit, you’re so totally right.”

“Payback’s a bitch Nicky!”

“No you’re a bitch!” He retaliated jokingly his smile disappearing quickly when he saw Rachel’s face crumble into tears. “Shit Rach, I didn’t mean…I was only joking…you’re not a bitch…you know I love you…shit,” he mumbled as he pulled her into his arms to try and stop her tears. “I swear I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s not…I know you didn’t,” She sniffed, “I’m just happy.”

“Erm…happy?” He questioned.

“For you and Adie. I don’t know why with the crying,” she sniffed again as she wiped at her eyes with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around Nick’s waist. “It’s all Max’s fault. Little punk has left all my hormones out of whack.”

“He’s a cute little punk though,” Nick complimented as she pulled away from his embrace.

“He is isn’t he?” Rachel agreed with a small smile.

“Erm Rach?” Nick asked feeling slightly uncomfortable, “You’re uh…you’re kind of leaking.”

He watched as she looked down and again felt uncomfortable when her bottom lip started to quiver, sobs almost over taking her body instantly.

“You want me to get Alex?” He asked quickly leaving the room when she nodded her head yes.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he made it into the back yard, squinting when the bright sunshine hit his eyes as he made his way towards the group of people sat on the decking.

“Jay?” He asked making one of his oldest friends look to him, “You might want to go and see Rach.”

“She crying again?” he asked and when Nick nodded he handed his son over to Adie before he made his way inside the house.

“Is she okay?” Adie asked Nick but he just shrugged as he took the seat Alex had just vacated.

“Her hormones are still all over the place,” Izzy answered for him, “And I don’t think Max has been letting them get much sleep either.”

Adie pulled Max back from where he was resting on her shoulder and held him up so he was face to face with her before she asked him, “You being naughty huh?” Max just scrunched up his face and let out a wail in protest of being moved from the comfortable spot he was in. “Oh I was only kidding, I couldn’t ever be mad at you because you are so scrummy,” She told him as she snuggled him closer to her shoulder. “I could just take you home.”

The words were out of Nick’s mouth before he even realised, “Why don’t we?”

“What?” Adie asked looking to him suspiciously.

“Take him home for the afternoon?” He asked, “You know, give Alex and Rachel a break for the afternoon?” He shrugged.

“Although I’d love to, Rachel’s breast feeding every three hours.”

“She’s been expressing so Alex can do some of the night feeds,” Izzy told them.

“See we could.”

“I’m not sure Rachel would really go for it,” Adie said.

***

An hour later Nick, Adie and Max were all pulling into the driveway. Nick hadn’t even finished his sentence about taking Max for the afternoon before both Rachel and Alex had told him that of course they could have him. The relief on both their faces had been hilarious but what was more funny was the list of instructions that Rachel had given to her sister before she would let Max out of her sight.

Adie had assured her that she was a children’s nurse and had looked after many babies in the past with a small laugh but Rachel didn’t see the funny side and when Nick had clasped him into the backseat in his Car seat she had almost changed her mind. That was until Alex reminded her what they were going to do that afternoon.

That was when she had placed a small kiss to her sons head and shut the door the car quietly before she reiterated her list of instructions to her sister but after that she had let them go. She had called once on the drive home reminding Adie that he was due a feed within the next hour but Adie had reassured Rachel that if Max was hungry she was sure to know about it.

“What are you doing?” Nick asked as he watched Adie unclasp the belt from around the car seat in which Max was nestled comfortably.

“Getting him out, we can’t leave him in the car can we? That would be breaking rule number seventy three,” She giggled as she made the move to grab the top of the car seat to lift it out.

“It’s too heavy for you, I’ll get it,” he said placing his hand on top of hers making her move to the side.

“I’m pregnant Nick not an invalid,” She reminded as she moved to the trunk to get out the bag laden with Max’s stuff as she watched him lift the car seat out of the car, wincing when he slammed the door shut making Max wail from the noise.

“Shit,” He moaned as he tried to “shhhh” the baby as best he could.

“You need to learn to be more quiet Nicky,” Adie laughed as she took the keys from him, locking the car before she made her way up the steps to the house with Nick following close behind. She opened the front door and was immediately greeted by Layla, who of course was not interested in the two people she saw everyday but by the squawking noise that was currently coming from the thing that Nick was carrying. She craned her head to get a better look when Nick lifted the chair out of her reach.

“Layla,” He warned, “No.”

“She’s fine Nick, You just want to meet Max don’t you?” She said reaching down to make a fuss of the dog.

Adie walked through the hallway into the spacious kitchen and motioned for Nick to place the car seat on the counter like she had with the bag. She then lifted the still crying Max out of the carrier, bringing him close to her chest to try and soothe him. She then rested him in the crook of her arm as she knelt down on the kitchen floor.

“Max this is Layla, Layla Max,” She said holding out the baby so the dog could see, pulling him up slightly when Layla went to lick him, “No, no licking,” she warned as she stood up. She rocked back and forth a little with Max trying to quieten him finally giving up after a few minutes. “Alright, alright I know you’re hungry. Baby can you warm a bottle and put the others in the fridge for later?”

“Sure,” he smiled to her as she walked into the living room and settled down on the couch, bringing Max up to rest his head on her shoulder she rubbed his back and tried to shhh him again but he was having none of it.

“I know little man you’re hungry but you are going to have to wait,” She told him placing a small kiss to the side of his head.

“Did someone order a bottle?” Nick asked as he walked in with one heating up in a jug of warm hot water.

“I think someone definitely did.”

“Can I feed him?” Nick asked almost shyly as he placed the jug on the coffee table.

“Sure,” Adie smiled as she handed Max to him carefully, still marvelling at how small he looked when he was pressed up against Nick’s shoulder.

“I’ve never…can you help me? I’ve never done this before,” He asked and again Adie could hear the shyness that radiated from his voice at his confession.

“Course I can,” She smiled before she leant forward to get the bottle, drying it off with the cloth Nick had remembered to bring in. “You need to make sure it’s hot enough but not too hot that it’s going to burn his mouth so you check it on your wrist,” she demonstrated, “That feels good.” She pulled at his hand and extended his arm so she could shake a bit of the milk onto his wrist not missing how he seemed to wince. “What?” She questioned.

“You just put Rachel’s booby juice on my arm,” he whined.

“It’s milk Nick,” she told him.

“That came from your sister,” he defended, wiping the small dot on her arm.

She just shook her head at him and laughed and carried on teaching him. “You want to bring him down into the crook of your arm, that’s perfect,” she told him as he followed her instructions. “Now just place to bottle at his lips and hopefully he’ll realise it’s there.”

“Dinner time Max,” Nick told him softly, smiling when Max took the bottle and began to chug down on it. “You’re hungry huh?” He laughed looking up to Adie with a smile. “Are you going to breast feed?”

“I’d like to, it’s better for her then formula is but from looking at Rach I think I might express some too,” Adie told him as she moved to sit sideways on the couch so she was facing him completely, her legs crossed Indian style beneath her. He smiled at her again before turning his attention back to the small boy in his arms. He didn’t say anything to him or to her but Adie knew, just by the way he looked down lovingly at a baby that wasn’t even his, that he was ready and the realisation was bittersweet. If she hadn’t of come to her senses she would have missed out on all of this, it made the guilt she felt in her chest everyday swell even further.

“Adie?”

She looked up to him and from the look on his face it was obvious he had been trying to get her attention for some time.

“Sorry,” She smiled.

“Where were you?” he asked.

“Nowhere,” she shrugged, changing the subject quickly, “He might need winding now. Easiest way is to bring him up on your shoulder and just pat and rub his back until he burps, but you might want to put this over you shoulder first,” she said as she passed him the muslin.

“Like this?” Nick asked unsurely, his patting so gentle she wasn’t sure she was even tapping his back.

“You can pat him a bit harder,” She told him softly.

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

“You won’t. If patting doesn’t work sometimes rubbing his back in a circular motion might.”

Nick changed techniques and his eyes almost bulged when the baby let out a large belch. “You are definitely your Father’s son,” He joked as he bought him back down so he could give him the rest of the bottle.

“I’m going to get a drink, You want anything?” She asked making a move to stand up.

“You’re leaving me?” he asked, the slight panic evident in his voice.

“For two minutes, you’ll be fine,” she told him tousling his hair as she walked by, stopping at the door she asked him again, “You want anything?”

“No I’m good thanks.”

***

“Max,” Nick whined as he lifted him out the make shift bath he had had in the kitchen sink.

“He pee on you again?” Adie laughed taking the baby from him and placing him on the changing mat so she could dry him off and get him changed before Alex and Rachel came to pick him up.

“That’s every time he hasn’t had a diaper on,” He whined again.

“He’s a typical boy, girls aren’t as bad I promise, well they can’t aim as far anyway,” she giggled turning back to the baby as Nick washed his hands and arm.

“Good to know,” he said wrapping his arms around her from behind, his hands rubbing her belly. “She settled down now?” He asked in reference to their daughter practising her kickboxing that afternoon.

“Yeah, I think it was because Max was resting on my bump. Can you pass me the vest and sleeper?” She asked, taking the items from him when he did what she asked.

“What do you want for diner tonight?” He asked as he leant against the island, marvelling at how quickly she seemed to be able to dress Max when it had taken him almost ten minutes to just undress him earlier.

“I have a huge hankering for Pizza and ice cream,” She told him with a smile.

“Take out?” He asked knowingly.

“Of course,” she replied picking Max up so he was resting against her shoulder, his wails of protest about being washed and dressed subsiding almost immediately.

“Usual toppings?” He asked making his way to the phone.

“Yeah but add chillies.”

“Chillies?” he asked sceptically.

“Hmm oh and spicy beef, and jalapeños,” she added excitedly.

“Okay Howie, I’ll put that on half the pizza,” he said grabbing the phone and dialling.

“Come on Maxy lets go and wait for Mommy and Daddy in the living room.”

Adie didn’t get very far and back tracked when she heard the doorbell ring. She opened the door and smiled when she saw Rachel and Alex.

“See I told you they wouldn’t be long,” She told the baby in her arms.

“Has he been okay?” Rachel asked without so much as a hello, as she held her arms out for her son. Adie smiled at Alex who was shaking his head behind his wife before she passed max to his Mother.

“He’s been fine,” She told them both. “Did you guys sleep well?”

“Amazingly, thank you so much,” Alex said placing a small kiss to her cheek.

“Don’t thank me, it was all Uncle Nick’s idea and I have to say he has done most of the babysitting duties this afternoon, apart from one diaper.”

“Really?” Alex asked slightly shocked.

“Yep. I haven’t been able to get a look in,” she laughed as they all walked into the kitchen.

“Hey guys,” Nick smiled as everyone walked in, “I’ve just ordered pizza, You guys want to stay for dinner?”

“We’ve just eaten but thanks,” Rachel smiled. “We’ll let you have your peace and quiet back now just don’t get too used to it,” she jokingly warned.

***

She woke in a cold sweat, her breathing coming out ragged and she could feel her heart beating so fiercely she thought it was going to jump out of her chest. That had been the third time she had had the dream this past week.

It started out the same, she was at home along with Nick and their baby was resting in the nursery. She would then begin to cry and it was this part that caused the post panic because no matter how hard Adie tried to get to her, she just couldn’t. That would be where Nick would step in, saying that it was okay, that he would go and get her and he did but he would never come back to the living room, Adie would always find herself trying to follow him out of the front door as he left with their baby. She couldn’t though because she physically couldn’t open the door and that would be when the note would appear.

The exact same note that she had left him, expect she knew that part at the bottom where he went on about “we” was not about himself and her it was about himself and the baby. That was when she always woke up and found herself turning to his side of the bed to make sure he was still there, finding comfort in the fact that he was resting comfortably beside her.

Well the past two times he had been, now his side of the bed was empty and she felt herself begin to panic again until she felt the undeniably nudge that came from within her. Knowing her daughter was still safely inside of her she managed to get some control of her breathing before she got up out of bed to go in search of Nick.

It didn’t take long to find him, the small strip of light coming from the office that was situated in the room next to theirs. She opened the door quietly expecting him to be asleep at the desk, that was why she was so surprised when she found that the desk wasn’t there anymore, everything that had been on or in it piled messily on the floor. She could see him standing with his back to her on the opposite side of the room taking down all of his awards, placing them into boxes, his head bobbing back and forth to the music that was flooding his ears via his IPOD.

Panic flooded her system again. Was he leaving her? Had today made him realise how difficult it was going to be with a baby? Did he want out? Had she been right when she had told him it was only going to be a matter of time before he realised he didn’t want this life with her? She took a few shaky breathes and willed the tears not to fall before she made her way closer to him, patting his back when he didn’t hear her call his name. The unexpected contact made him jump as he spun round quickly, taking the ear phones out.

“You scared me.”

“Sorry. What are you doing?” She asked crossing her arms over her chest.

“Packing up,” He said so easily she wanted to cry.

“Packing up?” She asked, trying to keep any hint of emotion out of her voice.

“Yeah, today got me thinking…”

“…We really need to get moving sugar puff, I know you have like four more months before she’s due but with me being away that leaves us with like four weeks to get the nursery organised. I was thinking we could put the nursery here so she’s right next door, if I can move all this stuff out of here by tomorrow we can go and get the paint and I can get the first coat on, maybe even another by the time I leave on Thursday. We could go and order the furniture so that it’s here for when I come back for our anniversary and I can put it together over those few days, then at least we’ll be ready by the time I finish the tour. Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, just tired,” She shrugged, willing the tears of happiness not to fall. He wasn’t leaving, he wasn’t going back on his word.

“You sure?” He asked running his hand down her arm, grabbing one of her hands in his.

“Yeah,” she nodded with a smile, “So where are we going to put the office?”

“There’s plenty of room in the studio,” he suggested.

“What about the smaller of the guest rooms? We could move it in there and loose the bed.”

“Then we’d only have to move it all again when the next one comes along.”

“The next one huh?” She asked with a smile.

“Yeah I mean you want more then one right? I was thinking at least three.”

“Three huh? Why don’t we work on getting this one out first,” she said rubbing her belly, knowing that although she still had her doubts with the way Nick was behaving she really didn’t have anything to worry about.

So why did she feel that it was all to good to be true? Why did she still let the dream plague her mind? Why did she think that one day she was going to wake up and realise that this had all been ripped away from her?