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[nicksgal]

For me it's a bit of both.  I love Broken and BMS and will always look back at them with a sense of pride, but I also see the flaws and the mistakes I've learned from along the way.  I've finished like 7 novels since that are all better written, but Curtain Call is the only one that is comparable in terms of my emotional attachment to it.  I loved writing that story the same way I loved writing Broken/BMS, and it's a more enjoyable read because there aren't as many cringey moments as in Broken.

The connection and feelings you have for a story are really important though.  I think that is what's missing for me with Guilty Roads and why I can't seem to get back to writing it, even though I know exactly what to write next.  It's not writer's block so much as just a lack of passion.  I like what exists of the story; I just don't really care enough to keep writing it.  But I care just enough to not say I quit either; I keep hoping that someday I get back the passion I must have had for it in the beginning, before the idea for Curtain Call came along and ruined it LOL.  I hope you're able to do the same with Gobosei.  If you still feel passionate about it, it's worth going back to and at least trying to finish.

It makes sense that if you have two with both connection and feelings, but one is better written, that you would go with the better written one. I'm glad that you have three stories brimming with that kind of connection and feeling!

I hope you're able to find the passion again for Guilty Roads! Let's just keep sending each other good vibes and maybe we'll eventually finish our stories that got pushed to the side by a pushier story that ended up being our one true writing love, haha.

LOL Yes, I agree.  I'm pretty sure I spent well over an hour answering those questions about my favorite story.

I think laziness is worse than lack of self-awareness.  If you know you suck at something, why not try to get better at it?  You'll never improve if you don't at least try.  A bad summary is better than "Sorry, I suck at summaries!"  I would also rather see a blank box or just an appropriately-sized banner than "Sorry, I suck at summaries!"  If the title and/or banner or captivating enough, I might still click on the story.

I spent at least half an hour, so I feel you, but I also got to write "I have nothing new to say" a couple times and that was nice.

Good point! I'm curious what the block is between "I suck at x" and not making an attempt to learn and grow. I know I've tried to work on brevity, but if anything, I've become even more long winded as time goes on. I just need someone to edit everything I write and say "You can really cut all of this." I'm sure there's moments where that's true.

Yes, we should have!  But hanging on to chapters for so long takes a level of self-control I don't think I had back in the day LOL.  Maybe it comes with maturity.  Or maybe it's easier now that the fanfic corner of the BSB fandom has shrunk.  I don't usually have readers begging me for updates anymore, and there's not much competition from other sites updating more often, so I feel like it's okay to go weeks or months without updating while I hoard chapters.  The loyal readers I do have left know I'll keep them in the loop and come back eventually with a new story, which I will then be able to update consistently.

I had a "Kevin is me now" moment in PNecklace where he said something to the effect of "Nuance isn't something young people understand. You'll figure it out." And I thought, "If only I could go back and tell myself that. You'll figure it out with more maturity," lol. I think I had someone beg me for an update once and that was the "I'll post a chapter every day" section of PBox. It was bad. A very bad poor life decision. Other than that, no one begged for updates from me. But at least everyone knows now that each Wednesday, they can enjoy a nice new chapter.

Oh wow, that is ancient!!  Yeah, I dunno if USB was even a thing in 2000 LOL.  I definitely don't still have any computers that old.  I actually just got rid of some old CD-roms from the 90s that I had saved all these years for some reason, even though they probably wouldn't even work on a modern computer.  SimAnt... Nickelodeon Director's Lab... Encarta '95 LOL.  Stuff I'd had since I was like 10.  I am a low-key hoarder!  I do still have a box of floppy disks that have old BSB photos, fanfics, and files from my old Microsoft Word site on them.  It's all stuff I have backed up elsewhere, but I just can't bring myself to throw them away, even though I haven't had a floppy drive to put them in for years.

My new computer is an all-in-one, so it just looks like a monitor - no tower needed, which freed up a lot of desk space for me.  Everything is wireless except for the power cord, so it could technically even be portable if I wanted to carry it to another room to write (but that's what my Chromebook is for).  Coming from a bulky ten-year-old desktop, I was like, "Wow... technology has come a long way!"

I also still have many floppy disks that are unlabeled with so many fanfics (mine or otherwise) and BSB things on them. I don't know that I have any of them backed up, haha. I should have done better. I think I still have a WorldBook '98 CD-Rom as well, so... Hoarding champions!

That's what I would maybe get too, something without a tower so it takes up less space! I don't know that I would want to cart it from room to room though.

[RokofAges75]

How often would you say it warrants a self reread?

Once every few years?  I think I've read it two or three times in its entirety since finishing it in 2011.  

This is so cute! Do you often base characters on people in your real life or was this a one time thing?

Sometimes.  I mentioned in my last post basing a character on my sister, which she would absolutely hate if she ever read that story LOL.  That was a main character too, whereas Cary's dad was more of a minor character.  Broken and BMS also included minor characters that were based on people I met in college or online friends - Claire's boss Tim, her ex-boyfriend Jamie, her best friend Dianna, her coworker/friend Laureen, and Nick's girlfriend Veronica.  I used to do that more than I do now.

This sounds super brutal! Is this the one you were talking about that time we talked about character deaths and you said you'd agonized over having the death happen in real time or be told about later?

No, that was a different story.  I wouldn't change a thing with this one.

Of all the teenybopper starts, I feel like open-mic night is the most realistic/feels the least teeny. It's perfectly reasonable that a Backstreet Boy would happen to be at a bar and it happens to be open mic night (and he thinks, "Oh no, I've made a terrible mistake! I don't want to be at an open-mic night!") It is not perfectly reasonable that a girl is front row at a show and he thinks "Yup, she looks like she can sing!" And then he replaces whatever opening act they've had all tour with her. lmao

I would also hope that people who typically read your writing didn't think, "Oh no, Julie has gone teeny. Must stop reading this now."

LOL Very true, to all of the above.

You say you don't get backlash, but that spoiler feels like backlash.

You know, you may be right about this too.  It's been so long, I didn't think of that, but this may be one of the only times muse-Nick has ever managed to talk me out of torturing him more.

Was it first person alternating POV or third person alternating POV? I always think it's fun to get a story from two different perspectives.

I love this attention to detail and am always in awe of y'all who plan with real life timelines. True heroes.

First person.  This was one of the first novels I'd ever written in first person, which I did in part to give it a different feel from purple prose-filled third person Broken.  I can't be as flowery writing in first person because then it sounds like Twilight LOL.

Thanks!

[RokofAges75]

I’d say my next challenge would be to make a story about Howie or AJ, but I really just cannot connect with Howie long enough to write a decent amount about him. Sorry Howie. 

Make Howie evil!  He's more interesting when he's evil.  Even in the one and only Howie novel I've written (SAMS), he was sort of in the antagonist role in terms of being the root of all the problems, at least from Nick's point of view.  He was not evil, but he was definitely flawed.  He's more fun to write that way than "Sweet D the Peacemaker who winks andstuffliketh at."

I find AJ tough to write as a main character, too.  I do have AJ-centered stories, but I prefer him as a supporting character.

[RokofAges75]

However none of my readers caught the Pokémon references during the story and I must admit that I was slightly disappointed lol

LOL Sorry, you would have to be much more obvious for me to catch a Pokemon reference.  Like if you named a character Pikachu, I would get that.

[nicksgal]

Once every few years?  I think I've read it two or three times in its entirety since finishing it in 2011.

That's about how often I reread PBox in its entirety, so I'll say that's pretty good rereadibility!

Sometimes.  I mentioned in my last post basing a character on my sister, which she would absolutely hate if she ever read that story LOL.  That was a main character too, whereas Cary's dad was more of a minor character.  Broken and BMS also included minor characters that were based on people I met in college or online friends - Claire's boss Tim, her ex-boyfriend Jamie, her best friend Dianna, her coworker/friend Laureen, and Nick's girlfriend Veronica.  I used to do that more than I do now.

I think you've mentioned that before actually. I feel like any of our real life people, in-person or online, would probably hate being in a story, haha. The random friends of the female lead in Gobosei were all based on real people I know and whenever I get back to it, they're probably among the first things I would cut. I think we all go through phases where we base whole characters on real people rather than extrapolating the qualities we "like" in them. A character in PNecklace, for instance, got the bluntness of one of my friends, but not my friend's entire personality.

No, that was a different story.  I wouldn't change a thing with this one.

What a great feeling! To feel like it needs nothing changed. I figured it was a different story, but also wanted to double check.

You know, you may be right about this too.  It's been so long, I didn't think of that, but this may be one of the only times muse-Nick has ever managed to talk me out of torturing him more.

You're not immune! He'll tell you when he really hates it, haha.

First person.  This was one of the first novels I'd ever written in first person, which I did in part to give it a different feel from purple prose-filled third person Broken.  I can't be as flowery writing in first person because then it sounds like Twilight LOL.

It makes sense to want to separate it from Broken in that way. I can't imagine that first person Nick would ever call eyes "orbs." I think it's interesting that you found yourself missing Nick's POV and then added it in. You said you enjoyed Cary's more, which did the readers enjoy more?

[RokofAges75]

This chatty forum coupled with two moscow mules destroyed my motivation to write this evening, in case anyone was wondering!

LOL Same, except I'm not even drinking!  How is it almost 1 in the morning here?  And why am I so far behind on responding to these posts?

[nicksgal]

It's fun when life imitates art this way!  But of course Nick would be Baby and Brian would be Sporty.  I can't imagine them dressing up as different Spice Girls.  It's so funny that they even did that on the cruise!

Who else would they be? It's not like either of them could be Posh!

It's fun to make references like that to other fandoms or pieces of pop culture.  I did the same kind of thing in Secrets of the Heart with Beatles references.  I'm not a Beatles fan, but my sister is, and I based the character Jori on her.  I named most of the minor characters after Beatles lyrics.  Has anyone else had a theme like this for one of their stories?

Hmm... Not that I can think of? I think I had one way back that was probably going to lean Shakespeare, but I only got two chapters in and went back to PBox.

[nicksgal]

Make Howie evil!  He's more interesting when he's evil.  Even in the one and only Howie novel I've written (SAMS), he was sort of in the antagonist role in terms of being the root of all the problems, at least from Nick's point of view.  He was not evil, but he was definitely flawed.  He's more fun to write that way than "Sweet D the Peacemaker who winks andstuffliketh at."

I find AJ tough to write as a main character, too.  I do have AJ-centered stories, but I prefer him as a supporting character.

Howie just needs to be subverted. Maybe that's the Howie trend! LMAO at "andstuffliketh at."

I also prefer AJ as a supporting character. He's probably harder for me to get into his feeling because he's so quiet for me. I don't know why that is.

Meanwhile, Nick screams loudly about everything, whether he loves it or hates it.

[nicksgal]

LOL Same, except I'm not even drinking!  How is it almost 1 in the morning here?  And why am I so far behind on responding to these posts?

Time flies when you're having fun! Also Tracy came on when you were writing about Curtain Call. Taking time to agonize over the questions and answer them thoughtfully takes you out of the forum if it's fast chatting. This is likely how everyone felt when we all used to have pages of random conversations within minutes of each other posting.

[RokofAges75]

I hope you're able to find the passion again for Guilty Roads! Let's just keep sending each other good vibes and maybe we'll eventually finish our stories that got pushed to the side by a pushier story that ended up being our one true writing love, haha.

Yes!!

That's about how often I reread PBox in its entirety, so I'll say that's pretty good rereadibility!

That is good to hear!  I was hoping I didn't sound too self-absorbed admitting that I had read one of my own stories more than once after finishing it LOL.

It makes sense to want to separate it from Broken in that way. I can't imagine that first person Nick would ever call eyes "orbs." I think it's interesting that you found yourself missing Nick's POV and then added it in. You said you enjoyed Cary's more, which did the readers enjoy more?

LOL No, no he would not.  I also tried to make Curtain Call Nick a lot different from emo Broken Nick, and I think the first person POV helped with that too.

That's a good question.  I don't know.  The readers seemed to enjoy Cary as a character, but I'm not sure whose POV chapters they enjoyed reading more.  Both were pretty Nick-centered throughout the story, as most of her storyline revolved around him, so it would really just depend on if they preferred reading from his perspective or hers.  Anyone who has read Curtain Call, feel free to weigh in if you remember having a preference.

[RokofAges75]

Time flies when you're having fun! Also Tracy came on when you were writing about Curtain Call. Taking time to agonize over the questions and answer them thoughtfully takes you out of the forum if it's fast chatting. This is likely how everyone felt when we all used to have pages of random conversations within minutes of each other posting.

LOL true!  I should have saved the Curtain Call post for tomorrow morning when no one is on... but then it would have distracted me from actually writing fanfic, so I'm glad I got it out of my system tonight.

[nicksgal]

That is good to hear!  I was hoping I didn't sound too self-absorbed admitting that I had read one of my own stories more than once after finishing it LOL.

I try to justify it by saying that I'm still writing the rest of the larger story so "it's for inspiration," but I also worry that it sounds self-absorbed. It's definitely the fanfic I've read most in recent years. I just like the characters a lot. (Though I admittedly summarize the NSYNC focused chapters for myself in about 1/3 of the rereads I've ever done on it.)

LOL No, no he would not.  I also tried to make Curtain Call Nick a lot different from emo Broken Nick, and I think the first person POV helped with that too.

That's a good question.  I don't know.  The readers seemed to enjoy Cary as a character, but I'm not sure whose POV chapters they enjoyed reading more.  Both were pretty Nick-centered throughout the story, as most of her storyline revolved around him, so it would really just depend on if they preferred reading from his perspective or hers.  Anyone who has read Curtain Call, feel free to weigh in if you remember having a preference.

Especially after you spent so many years with emo Broken Nick, the first person POV was probably exactly the break you needed!

Would you say that all of your Nicks are really different from each other or mostly those two in particular?

And yes, if you've read it, weigh in! Inquiring minds want to know!

[nicksgal]

LOL true!  I should have saved the Curtain Call post for tomorrow morning when no one is on... but then it would have distracted me from actually writing fanfic, so I'm glad I got it out of my system tonight.

Definitely get it out of your system! I saw your questions way earlier in the day (like pre-coffee early), but made the conscious decision to wait to respond until after I finished ch. 28 for that exact same reason.

I should go to bed at some point though, haha. ETA: Laptop is dying, so this is my sign, haha. Night!

[FrickingKaos]

I loved Curtain Call so I was really happy to see some fun stuff about that story Julie 

[FrickingKaos]

I'm also laughing that Dee caught my tag line of writing fanfic by moonlight because that is definitely a sailor moon thing. I'm a massive fan of that anime. During my cosplay days I used to dress as Super Sailor Moon. I also had the schoolgirl uniform too and a princess Serenity costume.