Prologue

Prologue: Beautiful Woman

************************************

Nick Narrating:

Let me tell you about this girl. She's perfect yet imperfect at the same time. I know I'm not making any sense here but hear me out. She's beautiful; 5'9” dark brunette, green eyes with a light natural tan that makes her skin glow in the right light.

She's funny, sarcastic, witty and so intelligent that it scares me sometimes. She parties every Friday night and reserves Saturdays for date night or movie night depending on her mood or relationship status.

She's in her last semester before she gets her masters degree in English Literature and Education. After all of this; and she turns 21 in just a week.

However in all this perfection are her flaws.

She overanalyzes everything, down to what she'll wear for a night out with her friends. She won't let a guy get close. I'm the only guy that's seen her cry, seen her vulnerable need for approval side. She swears she'll never fall in love and that she'll die a virgin because and I quote “men suck”.

I care for her yes. Sometimes I think that I could love her if I'm not already in love with her.

Other times I think to myself how stupid it would be to hook up now, we've been friends for years and I personally struggled to keep things platonic for a long time and to go for something now would be undoing all of that.

Then I think about the way she smiles, the way she cooks, the way she walks, how much it hurts to see her cry or get angry. It reminds me that maybe I do love her and that it's worth it.

We act like an old married couple according to our mutual friends. We do just about everything together. We have a trade off, she cooks, and I clean, well sort of. We go to the movies, out to clubs, on double dates or just the two of us out to dinner. But mostly we stay in and veg out in front of the TV watching movies or some sporting event.

When we have significant others they get jealous of how close we are. This makes most of them get fed up and leave. Sometimes they stay and try to ruin our friendship which results in them getting kicked to the curb. She is always there for me, after every breakup, cheering me on when I leave them, or cheering me up when I get my heart stomped on.

Honestly I don't know exactly when I started to see her as a woman and not the little 12-year-old girl my sister Leslie met at camp and brought to her tenth birthday party.

Even then she seemed wise beyond her years and we became instant friends. We've been through everything, from when my voice was cracking, to when her father was diagnosed with cancer.

I moved to LA to help her through college, after she called me one night her freshman year crying about her roommate being horrible. Now in two months she's graduating after taking a double course load, summer session classes, and college courses in high school. Yet she has time for partying, writing her thesis, and being a captain on the soccer team, while still keeping her sanity. She amazes me sometimes how she deals with everything so wonderfully.

I couldn't be more proud of her or more proud to know her.

End Narration

*****************************************

Chapter One

Chapter One: Men Suck

 

Nick sat there listening intently to the voices coming from the speakers, trying to make sure everything sounded perfect, especially his part he didn’t need anymore badgering from the guys for not hitting the right note.  He jumped when his sidekick began to shake across the table.  He laughed at himself and then picked it up. “What?” He asked gruffly annoyed at being interrupted.

 

An all too familiar voice replied, “Well I was just calling to see what you’d like for dinner, geez Carter get a grip.”

 

“Mack, I’m sorry here call on the studio line and I’ll be able to talk more because my phone is dying on me.” He answered back rattling off the number for her.  He hung up and waited for her to call back.  When she did he clicked on the speakerphone.

 

“So from your intensely agitated tone I can tell that recording isn’t going so well today?” Alyssa asked a little concerned.

 

Nick sighed and answered, “Well it’s going ok, just Kevin is being a jackass about this one part where it doesn’t sound just right.”

 

Alyssa laughed a little, “Probably just being a perfectionist, like you had told me he is.”

 

“More like Kristin is pissed at him for one reason or another, and he isn’t getting laid.” Nick retorted.

 

Alyssa snickered, “Ok way too much information, besides how in the hell do you know if he’s getting laid or not.”

 

Nick chuckled a bit as the guys walked back in from getting lunch, “You’d be surprised Mack, anyways I have to go I’ll see you tonight, bye hon.” And with that he hung up.

 

Howie laughed at Nick’s jumpiness, “Who was that, a new girlfriend?”  He said while AJ made kissing noises.

 

Nick glared at the both of them, “No, just my good friend Mack.”

 

“And when are we going to meet this mysterious Mack you keep talking about?” Brian asked curiously.

 

“Actually, tomorrow.” Nick answered.

 

AJ promptly got up and felt Nick’s forehead with the back of his hand, “Oh my God I think it’s serious, he finally gave us a straight answer.”  He exclaimed while being swat at by Nick.  “Ok sorry, how do you know this Mack guy?”

 

Nick busted out laughing, “Mack isn’t a guy.” He said between laughs.

 

Brian looked bewildered, “Umm, then why the name?”

 

“Mack is her nickname; her full name is Alyssa Mackenzie Monroe.” Nick said after controlling his laughter.  “She’s my roommate, well housemate; she’s awesome, she cooks and everything.   She met Leslie at summer camp back in 1995 and they kept in touch. So my genius sister invited Alyssa to her birthday the following year and that’s when I met her, and been best friends ever since.”

 

“Is she hot?” AJ asked unashamedly.

 

“To be perfectly honest, yeah she is, I have a couple of pictures of her if you want to see for yourself.” Nick replied as he pulled out his wallet pulling out a couple pictures of them both handing them to AJ. 

 

AJ eyed the first picture, of a tall brunette standing next to Nick wearing board shorts and a tank top with the strings of her bikini top showing.  The next was a picture of Alyssa looking at the camera with a glare, wearing a black polo shirt, jeans with small rips with frayed edges, and a pair of flip-flops. Standing in between two other girls with equally pissed expressions “She looks pissed in this one.” He said.

 

“Yeah she’s not so much pissed as much as she is sarcastic in that picture that I took.”

 

“Who’s the red-head?” AJ asked passing the pictures on to Brian.

 

“The red-head is Lori, a little older than Alyssa, and the blonde is Kellie, whose a year behind Alyssa in school because Alyssa’s quite the over achiever.” Nick replied.  “Also they play soccer together at UCLA and their nickname is Triple Trouble.”

 

“Why are they called that?” Kevin asked.

 

“Well think Samantha, Miranda, and Carrie from Sex and the City and that’s them.  They talk like them, act like them, hell even quote the damn show.  They’re hilarious to hang out with but be careful if you’re the only guy and they are all single, talk about male bashing but they leave me out of it. Plus they are wild out on the field, they all play forward and they work together so well that the team is really going to miss Lori and Alyssa when the graduate in December.” Nick explained seeing the amused looks on the guys’ faces.

 

“I wonder which one Alyssa is like?” Brian asked not so subtly implying something.

 

“She’s most like Carrie, with Samantha’s imagination.” Nick replied getting shocked expressions from everyone.  “What? It’s her favorite show we watch it all the fucking time. And if you were wondering I have not slept with her, my God she’s innocent everywhere except her mind, which by the way is entertaining to say the least.”

 

“Why?” Howie asked completely intrigued.

 

“Because she’s a virgin that doesn’t have a virgin mind, she’s got a wild imagination.” Nick answered.

 

“You’re kidding right?” AJ asked.

 

“Nope, not kidding, she has a guy’s mentality about sex yet can be a complete girly girl when she’s around her asshole boyfriend Tom.”

 

“You jealous?” Kevin asked noting Nick’s overly protective tone.

 

“No, just protective of my girl that’s all.”

 

“But if she has a boyfriend then she isn’t your girl.” Brian shot back.

 

Nick glared at him, “Ok enough about my private life can we please get back to recording?” He exclaimed as all the guys chuckled and agreed to go get to work.

 

Later on that day…

 

Nick paced around his living room waiting for Alyssa to get back from grocery shopping.  Somehow she had convinced him to stay home and keep working on a song that Kevin had been bugging him about.  He heard the car pull into the drive and walked out, taking the bags from the back of the car and walking inside. Alyssa followed with the bags from the trunk of the car laughing a little under her breath knowing he'd been waiting for her.

 

When they reached the kitchen they unloaded the bags into the near empty refrigerator.  Afterwards Nick eyed Alyssa going towards the message machine to check messages.  “I wouldn't play that back if I were you.” He warned.

 

But to no avail she pressed play anyways. “Hey Ali its Tom, I'm going to have to cancel dinner tonight.” He paused, “And well uh this just isn't working for me.  I can't wait forever for someone to let me in.  I just can't understand how you can let him in and not me.  But yeah I hope you find what you're looking for. Bye Ali, have a good life.”

 

Alyssa turned around with an eerie blank expression on her face and promptly walked out of the kitchen, up the stairs to her bedroom.  Shocked by her lack of a reaction Nick followed her seeing her clothes strewn every which way on the way to the bathroom door, which was closed.  He knocked lightly on the oak door.

 

“Come on in it's not like you can see anything anyways.” Alyssa called out from under the scalding hot spray.  Nick walked in throwing her clothes in the hamper, then walking over propping himself up on the counter near the sink.

 

“Are you ok Mack?” He asked tentatively.

 

She looked over her shoulder at him through the only transparent part of the shower doors. “I'll be fine it's just I should have expected it is all and I didn't.” She answered.  She then rinsed off and turned off the shower, grabbing the towels hanging over the top of the doors and dried herself off.  Wrapping the towel around herself she walked over to the mirror, grimacing at her reflection as she took the pins out of her hair letting it fall down past the middle of her back in light wavy curls.

 

Nick noticed her grimace, “What are you frowning about?”

 

Alyssa looked at him, seeing curiosity in his eyes. “Just that I feel old now, since I'm turning 21 and now I have no date to my birthday party Friday night.” She ran a hand through her long dark hair.  Then she walked into her bedroom and into her walk-in closet shutting the door to change while Nick went over and sat on the edge of her bed.

 

She emerged a few minutes later wearing her navy blue silk drawstring pants and a light blue lace edged tank top.  She scratched her belly button lifting her shirt a little standing in front of Nick.  He reached out grabbing her hand and pulled her to sit next to him.  “Hey I believe you have a standing offer for your birthday.” Nick replied pulling her into a hug.

 

“Oh joy, spend my birthday with you, just what I’ve always wanted!” Alyssa retorted sarcastically.  She smiled at him letting him know she was just kidding.

 

Nick sighed, “This sarcasm thing is never going to get you a guy you realize this?”

 

Alyssa punched his arm, “Yeah and the tortured puppy trick will only work on blonde bimbos for so long, Carter.” She shot back.  “Sorry just a little pissed that he broke up with me on the answering machine, that’s almost as bad as breaking up with someone on a post-it.  God why can’t I get a guy like Big or Aidan rolled into one, why must I keep getting these crap boyfriends who can’t even break up properly.”

 

“Maybe because they are fictional characters from a TV show?  Honey, I’m sorry but I tried telling you Tom was an asshole, but would you listen, no.  And the reason why you haven’t found anyone is because you’re looking too hard.  Maybe you just need to sit back and see what’s in front of you before you start searching for something not many people can find.”

 

Alyssa sighed, “You know you are super depressing ever since you broke up with Miss Princess Slut Puppy.”

 

Nick laughed knowing that she was referring to Paris, “Paris was an escape and you know that, with all the parental drama, I needed a distraction for a while.  Besides I couldn’t have whom I really wanted anyways so I went with the easy choice. And you’re never going to stop calling her that huh?  Not that I mind really.”

 

Alyssa looked at him quizzically, “Either that or Stick-bitch.  Anyways who did you really want?”

 

“I don’t want to get into that right now, what’s done is done, can’t change it and I learned a lot about myself from that relationship and who and what I really want out of life.  And also, we’re both single now and Friday’s your birthday…”

 

“The pact I know, and I’m ok with it. I made this with you almost five years ago and you know me I won’t back down from a promise.” Alyssa replied.

 

Nick got up from where he was, “You’re sure, because if you aren’t ready it doesn’t have to happen, especially if you think it might ruin our friendship, because that comes first.”

 

“Why are you so nervous about this? I can see it in your eyes you’re afraid of something.”

 

“Why are you so calm about this?” Nick paused. “OK we’re going to talk about this later, let’s go make dinner.” Nick said as he left the room to go down to the kitchen.

 

Alyssa laughed to herself, “Nice save Carter.” She mumbled lightly as she followed him down the stairs. 

 

He pulled what they needed out of the refrigerator, ignoring that Alyssa was staring at him waiting for an answer.  He turned around and asked, “You going to help or are you just going to stand there all night?”

 

Alyssa laughed at his avoidance of the topic and walked over and pushed him out of the way, “You know you can’t cook.” And began to prepare their dinner.

 

After dinner Alyssa was holed up in her room furiously typing away on her laptop erasing and restarting her last chapter of her thesis.  Nick knocked on her door lightly.  “Come on in.” Alyssa shouted over the sounds of Metallica’s The Black Album, which she promptly paused when he walked carrying a steaming cup of tea, and a plate of Oreos.

 

“Thought you could use a break.” Nick smiled shyly.

 

Alyssa smiled back in relief that one chapter the last of her thesis had been getting to her and she needed the relaxation. “Why is it that you always know what I need before I do?” She asked as he handed her the plate and mug and sat on her bed. 

 

“Maybe because I know you better than I know myself, so it’s easy to predict you.” Nick smiled back as she began to munch on the cookies.

 

She chuckled a bit, “That’s kind of disturbing.  But anyways your sister called complaining how she hasn’t gotten an invitation to my party yet. Didn’t you send them out?” Alyssa asked.

 

Nick looked around trying to remember, “Yeah I sent them out three weeks ago, besides she doesn’t even need an invitation, and which one are you talking about?”

 

“Leslie, she’s all pissed since I was her friend before you and all.” Alyssa reminded.

 

Nick rolled his eyes, “Then she should have moved cross country to live with you then, geez.”

 

Alyssa put the plate and mug on her nightstand and put her laptop on a nearby pillow.  She then scooted over to him and laid her head on his shoulder, “Tom called my cell phone tonight.”

 

“And what did that low-life have to say for himself?” Nick asked not even trying to hide his hatred for her now ex-boyfriend.

 

Alyssa sighed and replied; “He said that he was sorry for breaking up with me on the answering machine, that he wanted to do it in person but just couldn’t.  Also he told me he couldn’t date anyone who couldn’t kiss properly after I told him that it was rude and cowardly to break up like that.”

 

“He told you what?!?!?” Nick exclaimed.

 

“In a nut shell, I suck at kissing.” Alyssa replied frustrated.

 

Nick thought a moment, “Stand up.” He somewhat commanded.

 

Alyssa looked at him strangely, “What in the hell are you smoking?”

 

“Just do it.” He shot back as he stood up as well.

 

Alyssa complied and before she could say anything Nick pulled her into a kiss.  She was shocked, wanted to pull away but didn’t, somehow she felt extremely comfortable with her present situation.  A few seconds later they pulled apart a little out of breath.  Alyssa’s eyes stayed closed still lost in the kiss.  When she did open her eyes she was met with his that had turned a dark blue, the intensity shocked her.  “What the hell was that?” She asked.

 

“Proving the asshole wrong, you’re better at that then most of the girls I have dated.” Nick answered kissing her forehead then pulled her into a hug.  “Besides we better get used to the whole us kissing thing because on Friday everything is going to change between us, you know that right?” He reminded.

 

Alyssa pulled away, sat on her bed and motioned for him to sit next to her.  She sighed and began slowly, “I know it’s going to change everything between us.  I understand that, and I trust you.  Do you think I would have came up with it if I didn’t trust you?”

 

“I know but once this happens we can’t go back like nothing ever happened.  I’m just worried that once you and I are like that, that things will get weird between us and I don’t want that.” He replied sitting down next to her.

 

Alyssa smiled and grabbed his hand, “Ok since we’re being brutally honest with each other; you know that when I came up with that pact I had a crush on you.” She said laughing.

 

Nick’s eyes got wide, “What? Why didn’t you tell me?  I wouldn’t have rejected you.”

 

“Seriously?  I thought you would have just laughed at me and so I said nothing and moved on with my life.”

 

“Why would I have laughed at you?  You’re the one female that I’m not related to that I trust more than anyone.”

 

Alyssa sighed, “Because a 16 year old with a crush on her 19 year old best friend it’s almost laughable.”

 

“Well since we’re making confessions here… I have one of my own.  I had a crush on you when you were 16.  But I didn’t do anything about it.”

 

“Um why?”

 

Nick laughed, “First word jail, second word bait.”

 

Alyssa laughed, “So what?  Not like I would have told anyone about it.” 

 

“Well yeah that and I was just afraid of losing our friendship and so I built up a lot of will power to make sure, nothing happened.”

 

Alyssa thought a moment, “Is that why, when I moved in here that we’d have those moments where we came really close to kissing but it didn’t happen?”

 

“Yeah I was hoping you wouldn’t remember those.” Nick said blushing a little.

 

“Ok well I’ll forget that if you tell me who you wanted to have but couldn’t so you dated the world’s biggest ho.” Alyssa asked a little leery as to what he might say.

 

He sighed, “You really want to know?” She nodded.  “You.” He replied looking at his feet completely embarrassed.   Alyssa sat back a moment completely shocked.  Nick looked up at her seeing her sitting thinking.  “Ok awkward moment.” He offered trying to get some kind of reaction.

 

“No, not awkward, a little shocking, maybe amazing but not awkward.  You should have told me you big oaf!” She exclaimed.

 

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey Ali want to go out sometime?’ Please you would have laughed at me.  Besides you had Tom, so I’d thought that I’d wait until you guys broke up and then tell you.”

 

“More like drop a bombshell on me. Jesus Nick, I wish you had told me sooner.  I mean my God.  Is that why you’re so nervous about the pact?”

 

“You never told me that you had a crush on me.  Mostly, that and that I don’t want this to ruin our friendship, but I know we’re never going to be friends after this.”

 

Alyssa eyed him questioningly, “Why?”

 

“Because once two friends cross the platonic line, there is absolutely no going back.  You’ll always know what that person is like in bed, for some it’s enough to not be friends anymore.”

 

“Do you think that will be us?” Alyssa asked a little concerned.

 

“To be honest, I don’t know.  I guess I’m mostly just nervous about hurting you or doing something you wouldn’t like or go for you know?”

 

Alyssa put her head on his shoulder and smiled, “Well I have an idea.”

 

Nick looked down at her, “What now?” He replied laughing a little.

 

“Teach me.” She answered back.

 

“What?” He said making her look up at him. “What do you mean teach you?”

 

Alyssa smiled, “Well since I know nothing about what I personally like in that area I’m counting on you to teach me.”

 

He thought a moment, “What exactly do you want to know?”

 

She smiled again, “Everything.”

Chapter Two

Chapter Two: Meet and Greet

 

********************************

Alyssa Narrating:

 

When will this semester be over?  Oh yeah 8 weeks, thank the Lord!  Everyone thinks I’m super woman or something because I’m getting my master’s degree in 3 years instead of the normal 5-7.  I just basically crammed everything to get done faster. 

 

My main reason, to get my teaching career started but mostly to be done in time to go on tour with Carter when he and the guys are back on the road.  And so I can at least enjoy it this time instead of being holed up studying constantly.  I will say one thing, though; the guys have been good for him to hang with, finally got his priorities straight.

 

That’s what I hated about his solo tour.  I was the one that had to kick the groupies out in the morning and trust me sometimes it was more than one.  Which is why I am still a virgin, I don’t trust easily.

 

But it scares me with this pact coming up that I thought of, (mind you I was 16 and had a major crush on him) that if by the time I turned 21 years old and if we were both single and I were still a virgin that he’d be my first time. 

 

It’s funny he’s the weirdest person I’ve ever met and yet we’re so close and the only one I trust enough to go through with this. 

 

Lori and Kellie tell me that the reason for that is that secretly I’m in love with him.  I do love him just not in the whole the ‘hills are alive with the sound of music’ kind of way…I think.  He’s just Nick, goofy, normal guy, well to me close-friends and family he is.  My mom had always hoped that he and I would hook-up get married, the whole she-bang you know?  It’s really funny to hang out with him knowing things that not even a girlfriend knows. 

 

Especially when we get into those deep conversations where I can see just how good of a person he is.  He’s truly an awesome friend.  For example, when my life was literally falling apart he was there to pick up the pieces, get me to breathe, hell even smile again. 

 

You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about huh? 

 

Well back in early 2001 my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer, on top of that a week later my boyfriend Collin (the love of my life I might add) was on his way to see me, and he got in a car crash and didn’t make it to the hospital. 

 

Blaming myself for everything I started cutting and smoking pot.  Nick had no clue what had happened to me all he knew is that I was grieving and depressed about everything. 

 

That summer when AJ went to get himself straightened out I spent the summer at Nick’s in Florida.  Nothing he could do or say would cheer me up, had I stopped smoking weed because I hated it and how it made me feel, however I kept cutting myself. 

 

One night Nick was at the store getting something, and I decided I couldn’t take living anymore so I swallowed half a bottle of Tylenol and vertically cut on my wrist pretty damn deep too.   Nick came back and found me in his bathroom with the bottle next to me with my blood all over the tile.  He rushed me to the hospital. 

 

That night was a whirlwind, they pumped my stomach and funny thing was that Nick and I have the same blood type so they did a transfusion.  I woke up about 3 am with him sitting holding my hand, leaning up against the bed, completely exhausted and out cold.

 

The next morning he asked why I had done it.  I told him that since everything I had felt that it was my fault and that I had caused so much pain to people that my payback was to have my loved ones suffer too.  He told me that nothing was my fault and took me to his place the next day. 

 

The rest of the summer was spent with him watching me like a hawk, I wasn’t even allowed to sleep alone much less walk around without him watching to some extent. 

 

But thankfully it made us closer than anyone. 

 

About a week after I came back to his place I finally smiled.  Its really stupid how it happened but I was just about to walk out on the patio when I overheard Nick telling one of his friends a joke and I couldn’t help from laughing.  Nick saw me laughing at his joke and promptly picked me up and threw me in the pool along with himself in celebration. 

 

Ever since that day he’s always been able to make me smile.

 

End narration

*******************************

 

“Nick, snap out of it!” Kevin barked for the fourth time that hour.

 

Nick looked up a little dazed, “What?”

 

Brian chuckled, “What is wrong with you today, worried we aren’t going to like Alyssa?”

 

“No, just she’s late and she is NEVER late.  She’s worse than Kevin when it comes to being on time.” Nick replied just as his sidekick went off. “Hello?”

 

“Hey you are never going to believe what happened.  My God damn stupid car I hate it.” Alyssa answered talking extremely fast.

 

Nick stood up, “Ali slow down what’s wrong?” Nick asked concern filling his voice.

 

Alyssa sighed, “I’m at the repair shop, my car died, like smoke and everything, can you come pick me up?” She asked extremely frustrated.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“Mike’s Auto Repair shop on Sunset Blvd. Just north of the Whiskey.” Alyssa stated.

 

“Ok I’ll be right there just wait inside alright?” Nick answered.

 

“Ok.” Alyssa said before hanging up.

 

“What’s wrong?” AJ asked.

 

Nick sighed grabbing his wallet and keys, “Alyssa’s car broke down again, I’m going to go get her.”

 

“Hey you need to finish up your part you stay and Alex will go.” Kevin replied.

 

AJ looked at Kevin like he was crazy but after a quick glare from Kevin he decided to help, “Alright where is the shop?” He asked.

 

“Sunset Blvd, Mike’s Auto Repair.” Nick answered back.

 

AJ walked out going to his car, a black mercedes c-class.  As he drove off he wondered how exactly he got volunteered for this.

 

Meanwhile…

 

Alyssa sat ladylike, twiddling her thumbs in her business suit.  She had more comfortable clothing in her gym bag but didn’t trust the gas station quality bathrooms to change in.  A few minutes later the mechanic came up to her.  “Miss Monroe?”

 

“Yes?” She replied.

 

He sighed, “Well I hate to tell you this but your car isn’t worth it to fix, the engine is shot, as well as the cooling, brakes and struts.  All in all it’d be better if you just bought a new car.  Do you have someone to come get you?”

 

Alyssa sat back a moment, “Uhh, yeah a friend is coming to pick me up.” She sat thinking about how she’d gotten to this point in her life.  How she started out like any normal kid, a real tomboy never one for wearing anything girlish looking.  She remembered going to camp as a junior counselor meeting Leslie for the first time.  She smiled at those memories of how simple her life was back then, no worries, no bills, no boyfriends. 

 

Then again, it was Leslie that introduced her to Nick, she had a small crush on him from the start but brushed it off as being dumb.  As time moved on their friendship became so close that many of her friends told her to take a chance see what could happen.  And now here she was a few days away from turning 21, scared shitless of what was going to happen that night, something she had orchestrated because of a crush. 

 

The door to the shop opened with a ring of its little bell, Alyssa’s head shot up expecting to see Nick instead she was looking at a person she’d only seen in pictures and on television.  “Alyssa?” AJ asked.

 

Alyssa rose, “Hi AJ. Nick and Kevin get into another bitch-fest?” She asked smiling.

 

He laughed at her comment, “Yeah Kevin made him stay, so I’ve been sent to bring you over to the studio.  You have all your stuff?” He asked as he picked up her gym bag.

 

She smiled, “Yeah I got all my stuff out of my car, since it’s going to the landfill.” She answered back as they walked out to his car. “Thank you for coming to get me AJ I know you guys are super busy right now with the album almost done and everything.”

 

“No problem hon. That sucks about your car, you should get Nick to buy you a new one.” He replied as he started the car while she fastened her seat belt.  “Call me Alex by the way. AJ is just a stagename ya know.”

 

“Well I know Nick calls you Alex but I thought only friends and family called you that so I was just being polite.” She retorted chuckling a bit.  “But yeah I’m not going to ask Nick for a car, he knows that I won’t ask and as much as he wants to help me financially it kinda ticks me off a bit.” She finished a little shocked at how open she was being.

 

AJ laughed, “Why does it tick you off? If you don’t mind me asking?” He asked her while he stopped at a light.

 

Alyssa sighed, “Because it’s his money, I’m not related to him, nor am I his girlfriend or wife or whatever so I have no right to even ask for any money from him, besides you should have seen how much of a fight I put up before I moved into his house.”

 

“Why, he said that your roommate or whatever was stealing your shit so why not rejoice in the charity?” He replied.

 

“Because its exactly that.  I don’t want to be his charity case, I’m his friend, and he isn’t my personal savings and loan.” She remarked with a small smile.

 

“He told me you were independent, and didn’t like to accept help when it was offered.”

 

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate all that he’s done for me, it’s just I don’t want him to think that the only reason I’m still his friend is because he’s got a american express centurion card.  You understand what I’m saying right?”

 

“Yeah you don’t want a free ride without earning it right?” AJ responded.

 

“Exactly, I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to explain that very concept to him but he never gets it.  I think it’s because of his very distorted view of women and how all the ones that get close always want something.”

 

“And what do you want?” He asked.

 

“Honestly?  To hang with my best friend, graduate, win nationals, and start my career.” Alyssa answered as they pulled into a parking space.

 

“Well we’re here.”

 

Alyssa got out of the car grabbing her bags from the trunk looking at the deceiving brick building. “Kinda hidden isn’t it?” She asked.

 

“Well, yeah it’s nice, no paparazzi in here, we had to change locations since January when the fans found out where we were.”

 

“Yeah I remember seeing it on Entertainment Tonight what his birthday ‘surprise’ was.” She said rolling her eyes.

 

“You hate her bony ass too?” He asked as they walked into the studio.

 

She studied the large room, a couple couches, a table, sound board, mixers, computers and behind that was a glass window showing the recording room.  She hadn’t seen the inside of one of these since Nick recorded his solo album. “You could say she and I had creative differences.” She replied with a sarcastic look.  “Where’d they go?” She asked.

 

“Probably, went to stretch before coming back in.” No sooner did he finish his statement did the other four guys walk in.

 

Nick looked over and saw Alyssa standing next to AJ all dressed up in her business attire.  He smiled, “Hey Lissa.” He said walking over pulling her into a quick hug.  “Guys this is Alyssa.”

 

“Nice to finally meet you Alyssa.” Brian replied emphasizing the ‘finally’.

 

She chuckled a bit, “Well it’s nice to finally meet you guys, with all the stories I’ve heard over the years it’s crazy that Nick hasn’t introduced me until now.” She said smiling at Nick.

 

“Aw honey you didn’t need to get all dressed up for us.” Kevin said remarking on her clothes.

 

She looked down at her clothes and laughed, “Yeah like I’d wear these everyday. I’m just a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl, sorry to disappoint you Kevin but I was at my student teaching internship before I tried to make it over here no thanks to my POS car.”

 

Nick laughed, “What the hell happened?  Old thing just die?”

 

Alyssa smiled, “It was bound to happen sooner or later with the hell I put that poor car through.” She said laughing a little.  “By the way where is the restroom I’m going to get changed since I have practice in about an hour or so.” She asked glancing at her watch.

 

“Through that door over there down the hall to your left I believe.” Nick said as she grabbed her gym bag.

 

“Ok give me ten minutes, gotta wash all this damn makeup off.” She said laughing as she backed out of the door.

 

When she was gone Nick turned to the guys, “So?”

 

“She’s fucking hot.” AJ replied.

 

Nick shot him a look, “I mean do you guys like her?”

 

Brian smiled, “You’re acting as if she were your girlfriend or something.”

 

“Yeah, I wish, but seriously she was really nervous that you guys wouldn’t like her since she’s still kind of friends with an ex of mine.” Nick replied.

 

“Why do you ‘wish’?” Brian asked.

 

Nick rolled his eyes, “Because she’s perfect, doesn’t want me for money, fame or anything than just to be there for her when she needs me.”

 

“And which girlfriend exactly?” Howie asked.

 

“Amanda.”

 

“Amanda as in Willa, Amanda?” AJ asked.

 

Nick sighed, “Yes, she told us, when Amanda and I were on the rocks that she would never pick sides and never has.  True she doesn’t agree with everything Amanda and I did to each other but she still wouldn’t choose.  Hell they’re going out to lunch tomorrow.” Nick finished.

 

“Seriously? I’d think that she wouldn’t get along with any of the women you’ve dated.” Kevin replied.  “Just by looking at her I’d feel threatened if I were Amanda or Paris or whoever.”

 

“Most of them are threatened by me, since he and I are so close.” Alyssa replied walking back in wearing white track pants and a dark blue spaghetti strap tank top that read in bold gold letters “Triple Trouble” with an image of a soccer ball in place of the ‘o’, her hair pulled into a loose bun.

 

“Lissa, I think they are threatened by a little more than that alone.” Nick retorted.

 

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Why do I let you call me that? Anyways I can’t help that you find ways to get out of dates to hang out with me when I’m home alone.” Alyssa shot back.

 

“So let me guess you don’t get along most of them.” Brian replied.

 

“Only the ones who want something, and are willing to manipulate and stomp on whoever they can to get it.”

 

“So ok what were those bruises all about on Paris? Nick said you knew.” Howie asked.

 

She laughed, “Thats because you’re looking at the one who caused ‘em.”

 

AJ laughed, “You took her on in a cat fight?”

 

“Not so much as a cat fight as the proverbial smackdown.  I came home from school with one hell of a migraine. Nick, you know how I get when I have a headache like that.  Anyways Jane was visiting and told me that Paris and Nick were having it out in the kitchen.  Not really giving a damn and needing an aspirin I went in and she started in on me, how I monopolize his time, blah, blah, blah.  I said ‘don’t blame me for your insecurities’ and she tried to bitch slap me.  So I layed her out.  She got back up and lunged at me, Nick grabbed her arm and pulled her away from me.  Good thing he did or she would have ended up in the hospital.”

 

“You punched her?”

 

“Right between the eyes, like my dad taught me to for when I needed to defend myself.” Alyssa finished.

 

“You guys should have been there it was pretty funny, especially Paris’ reaction when she found herself on the floor.” Nick added.

 

“Well it was uncalled for, for her to try to hit me so I put the skinny bitch in her place. Sorry Carter, you know that I tried to be nice to her in the beginning but she hated me from day one, hell even tried to end our friendship.”

 

“Which is why I couldn’t take her bullshit anymore. And also why she bad mouths me in the press, because I stood by Alyssa and not her.”

 

AJ was near tears with laughter, “I wish I was there man; they should film that and show it every Christmas.”

 

Even Kevin couldn’t help but laugh, “I would have paid big money to see that girl get knocked flat on her ass.”

 

“It was pretty funny, hurt like a son of a bitch afterwards, my hand swelled up to the size of a softball and broke two fingers.” Alyssa said between laughs.  “Hey speaking of brutality why don’t you guys come and watch practice tonight?” Alyssa asked.

 

“Have dinner with the wife and kid.” Brian replied.

 

“Well bring em! It’d be fun. We’re playing against the boys team after warm-ups.  Everyone is totally welcome to come.”

 

“Trust me guys you don’t want to miss this.  Besides I want to see Brennan have his ass handed to him by the girls.” Nick replied laughing a little.

 

“You really hate him huh?” Alyssa asked.

 

“Not so much hate as I despise the bastard. You know you can’t stand his cocky ass either.”

 

“True besides if he grabs my ass or ‘accidentally’ tackles me I will have to ensure that he will never procreate. Anyways please guys you should come watch, it’s an exhibition game but it draws a good crowd every year.”

 

“What do you mean don’t like getting groped?” AJ asked.

 

“First of all it hurts when he does it. Second of all he’s not my boyfriend and never will be.  He’s good looking and knows it but thats about where it ends.  As Lori stole from Clueless ‘he’s a Monet’”

 

“A Monet?” Brian asked somewhat amused.

 

“Yeah Claude Monet’s paintings are amazingly beautiful from a distance but if you get too close you can see its all mushed together and not so appealing.  That’s Brennan.”

 

“Lori and Kel are the weirdest people you know I swear.” Nick answered back.

 

“Umm hello my best friend is a pop star I think you’re a bit weirder than they are.” She replied laughing, “Speaking of weird friends, Kellie’s engaged.” She added looking at Nick

 

Nick rolled his eyes, “To who?”

 

Alyssa laughed, “Michael.”

 

Nick looked shocked, “Michael as in your ex and one of my friends Michael?”

 

Alyssa sighed, “Yep, I even have to wear a damn dress as maid of honor.”

 

“That’s just wrong, she’s marrying your ex and you’re the maid of honor.” Nick replied semi disgusted.

 

“Michael and I have been over for over a year now, I moved on so did he.”

 

AJ spoke up, “Nick you seem to not like Kellie very much.”

 

“That’s because I tried to play match maker and it backfired.  Do you guys remember seeing video from after he and Paris broke up, the girl he was with?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“That’s Kellie, I decided to hook em up, since they both thought each other were attractive, seems though that’s where it ended.”

 

“How bad was it?”

 

“Not so much bad as I felt absolutely nothing when we went out on that date and the thing that pissed me off was what she told Alyssa.” Nick answered.

 

“What did she say?” Brian asked.

 

Alyssa answered, “Do you want what she really said or the version Nick tells everyone?”

 

“The true version.” Howie replied.

 

Alyssa laughed a little, “She said and I quote ‘he would not shut up about you.  It  was all Alyssa this, Alyssa that and so on..’”

 

Nick glared at her. “So that’s what she told you?”

 

“Yep, what did you expect one of my best girls to lie to me?” Alyssa retorted feigning shock.

 

Brian laughed, “Seems she’s not the only one who has gotten an earful about you.” He said looking at Nick knowingly.

 

Nick rolled his eyes in response.

 

Later that night…

 

“So do you really talk about me that much?” Alyssa asked leaning against the bathroom doorjamb.

 

Nick looked over at her from his comfortable position, laying on his bed sketch pad in hand. He smiled seeing her wearing a Tampa Bay Bucanneers shirt and a pair of long basketball shorts he had given her with her hair up in a messy bun. “Can’t I be proud of my best friend?”

 

Alyssa laughed and walked over sitting next to him on the side edge of his bed. “It’s one thing to be proud its another to act as if I were your girlfriend Carter.” Alyssa pointed out. 

 

Nick shut his sketch book laying it on the night stand next to them and sat up so that he and Alyssa were sitting nearly eye to eye, “Is that a bad thing?” He replied smiling at her.

 

She rolled her eyes and retorted leaning in closer, “If we were dating it wouldn’t be but we aren’t remember?” His eyes darted between watching her lips form a smile then looking to something else in the room, the need to just kiss her growing more and more impatient.

 

Nick chuckled a bit meeting her eyes regretting it once he did. In all the years he’d known her, he always found her eyes to be completely entrancing, “Yeah I remember, but I also remember you asking me to teach you certain things.” He replied back with a devious smile.

 

“Nick what does that have to with…” Alyssa was cut off by Nick pulling her into a kiss his hand holding the back of her neck her hand went to his wrist holding his hand there at where her jawline curved to her neck. As they deepened the kiss Alyssa began to lean back as he followed his other arm cradling her back. Her hand left his wrist and moved to the back of his neck.  His hand moved from its position on her neck down her arm to rest on her stomach feeling the warm skin that peeked below her t-shirt.  He began to slide his hand underneath moving it to her back pulling them both to their sides as his hand searched up her back when he didn’t find what he was looking for he began to slide his hand to the front about half way there her hand on top of his stopped him.  He pulled away from the kiss and opened his eyes to see Alyssa looking at him, her eyes so light green it shocked him, he’d never seen her eyes that color before.  When he realized why she had stopped him he pulled his hand away and sat up.  She sat up a moment later, “That…” She began having trouble finding the words.

 

“I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.” He said feeling guilty that he nearly took advantage of his best friend.

 

She smiled weakly, “I did ask you to teach me didn’t I?”

 

He looked up seeing her smile and smiled back, “Yeah, but I didn’t mean to go quite so far.”

 

“I could have stopped you earlier but I didn’t.  Considering my lack of experience I’m not sure how anything is supposed to feel but I was ok with that it kind of felt...”

 

“Good?” He asked.

 

“Yeah which is why I stopped you when I did.” She answered back.

 

“Ok care to explain the logic behind that?” He asked.

 

She laughed, “If I didn’t stop you when I did, I don’t know if I could have or would want to stop you if I let it go any further.” She said averting her eyes.

 

“Are you saying that you want this to happen with us?” Nick asked lowly.

 

“I don’t know I’m beginning to think that maybe we both want more than we’re saying.”

 

“Meaning exactly?” He continued.

 

She sighed and fell backward, “I don’t know it’s just what I felt when you kissed me, I have no clue but it felt good, right even.  You know what I’m saying right?” She said her mind all confused and cluttered.

 

He laid down on his side next to her watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed wanting to feel her skin against his. Her question brought him out of his trance, “Yeah I do.  I couldn’t help but kiss you it was almost like I needed to just feel you as weird as that sounds.”

 

She rolled to her side taking his hand in hers, “So umm what does this mean?”

 

“I don’t know.”

Chapter Three

Chapter Three: Go With the Flow

 

“Wait a second, you and Nick made out?” Lori asked smirking triumphantly.

 

Alyssa rolled her eyes as she looked at Lori, “Why do I tell you anything?  Yes we made out, we were talking and kinda joking around and he said that I had asked him to teach me and before I could finish my sentence he pulled me into this kiss that....my God... would have made Shakespeare jealous.”

 

Lori smiled and glanced over at Alyssa as she drove, “And?”

 

“And I stopped him after his hand went up my shirt and tried to…”

 

“Cop a feel.” Lori interjected.

 

“Considering I don’t wear a bra to bed I’m guessing yeah, he even reached back to see if I was wearing one.”

 

Lori giggled, “I cannot believe this is Nick we’re talking about here.”

 

Alyssa laughed a little as well. “You’re telling me. If I would have known he could do things like that I would have jumped him ages ago.”

 

“He made you hot didn’t he?” Lori asked bluntly.

 

Alyssa blushed.

 

“He did not!” Lori exclaimed.

 

“I hate to admit it but yeah he did.  Besides I wasn’t the only one getting into it.” Alyssa replied laughing.

 

Lori gasped, “You mean, he was…oh damn how big do you think?”

 

“I don’t know I was more shocked that he was turned on in the first place, considering…”

 

Lori rolled her eyes, “Considering what? You’re gorgeous Ali, he’s hot, and you both are single and legal so have some fun.”

 

“I know we spent most of last night talking about what happened.”

 

“And the other part of the time?” Lori asked smiling knowingly.

 

Alyssa blushed, “Reliving what happened. You have no idea, he made me weak in the knees literally.”

 

Lori all of a sudden got an idea, “I have an idea that will have him begging for you to let him get some early.”

 

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “I’m afraid to ask.”

 

“Then just listen.  Ok when you two are alone tonight, initiate it this time.  Slide your hand under his shirt and pull him on you when you do and see what he does.”

 

“What?! You’re telling me to grope him? What are you my sex coach?” Alyssa remarked laughing.

 

“Think sex therapist.” Lori said laughing. Alyssa glared back at her with a shocked expression. “What? I’m serious! He has had the hots for you since you were 16-years-old. Ask anyone who has seen you two around each other can tell that boy has to take a lot of cold showers.”

 

“What do you mean, like he told me that he had a crush on me but that he kind of got over it, I guess.” Alyssa replied.

 

Lori rolled her eyes, “With a kiss like that do you honestly think he’s gotten over you?  A guy doesn’t kiss a girl like that if he sees her as a only a friend ok?”

 

Alyssa put her head in her hands, “What am I going to do?”

 

“Just go with the flow hon.” Lori said smiling as they pulled into the parking space.

 

Meanwhile...

 

“So what are we doing for lunch?” AJ asked Nick.

 

Nick took a drink from his water bottle and shrugged. “I don’t know Alyssa said she might stop by for lunch.”

 

“Ok what’s the deal with her?” AJ asked.

 

“What do you mean?” Nick asked back.

 

AJ smiled, “Let’s see, she’s gorgeous, frighteningly intelligent, athletic, and doesn’t want your money or fame, exactly why haven’t you two gotten together?”

 

Nick rolled his eyes and sat down, “Because we’ve been friends since she was nearly 13 and…”

 

“Ok in your own words describe her.”

 

Nick looked at him weird, “What on earth are you talking about?”

 

“Just describe her and I’ll tell you if you should ask her out.”

 

“Fine.  She’s amazing, great personality, intelligent, a warped sense of humor like us.”

 

“And what do you guys do to hang out when no one else is around?”

 

Nick thought a moment his mind going back to the night before. “Umm, we talk for hours, she tries to teach me how to cook, play video games occasionally, watch movies, help her study, sometimes go out to dinner or a club if we’re really bored.”

 

“So you’re in love with her am I right?”

 

Nick looked up at his friend a bit shocked at his bluntness, “That’s not the point.” He remarked.

 

“Oh man you’ve got it bad. You’re in love with her and too damn afraid to tell her right?”

 

“I told her that I…” Nick trailed off seeing Alyssa and Lori walk in with bags. 

 

AJ stood up, “Ali, I didn’t know you were coming today.” He said with a big smile grabbing a couple of the bags from the girls.

 

“Well I bought everyone lunch!” Alyssa said as Brian and Kevin walked in out of breath.

 

“Did someone say lunch?” Brian replied with a cheesy grin on his face.

 

“Lissa you didn’t have to do this.” Nick answered.

 

Lori laughed, “Well I pitched in we have a few things to celebrate today.” She retorted as Howie walked back in just as out of breath as Kevin and Brian were.

 

“What’d ya buy?” AJ asked snooping around the bags only to have Alyssa swat him away.

 

“Kevin, I got you a turkey club with French fries and water. Hope you guys like what we got, we’re just going off of what Nick told me you guys would normally eat.”

 

“Howie yours is tuna on whole wheat with an ice tea” Lori continued.

 

“Brian I got you macaroni salad, with a side of fruit. And Nick got your personal favorite chicken salad sandwich.” Alyssa finished.

 

“Where did you guys get all of this? Nick asked.

 

“Student union, it was on the way.” Lori answered.

 

In between bites AJ added, “So what’s the celebration for?”

 

Lori looked over at Alyssa, “Well I finished my thesis and we made the sweet 16 we’re going to nationals!” She exclaimed.

 

“You finished, damn that’s great news.” Nick said smiling.

 

 “I understand it being cause for celebration but why are you so happy?” Kevin asked.

 

Alyssa laughed, “So he won’t wake up at 3AM hearing me cussing out my laptop because I can’t think of what to write next.”

 

“Well yeah and you’re birthday is tomorrow, you shouldn’t have to worry about that on your birthday.”

 

“True, but anyways we have to go to class, I have an inorganic chemistry midterm to take.” Lori said cringing.

 

Alyssa laughed, “I’ll see you at home tonight right?”

 

“Yeah I’ll order Chinese or something.” Nick replied giving her a hug.

 

“Bye guys see ya tomorrow.” Lori and Alyssa said at the same time and then started laughing as they walked out.

 

As Lori and Alyssa got into the car Lori remarked, “Alyssa and Nick sitting in a tree…”

 

Alyssa shot her a glare, “You finish that sentence and I’ll make sure you won’t play in the tournament.”

 

Lori cackled at Alyssa’s response as she pulled out of the parking lot.

 

That night…

 

“Nick I’m home!” She shouted the second time carrying her bags up to her bedroom.  Shopping with Kellie turned out to be more of a spree than a quick trip to the mall.  She set her backpack, and various shopping bags down hearing the shower going, she knocked on the door lightly.

 

“Come in.” Nick replied shutting off the water and pulling the nearest towel around his waist.  Alyssa walked in seeing Nick walk into his bedroom for a minute and then walking back with a pair of red flannel pajama pants and a grey wife beater.  He looked over at her standing in the doorway and smiled, “Kellie drag you around Rodeo Drive?”

 

Alyssa laughed barely stifling a yawn, “Yeah that, Robertson Ave, and the mall. Thankfully she paid for it since I went broke on our last shopping spree.” He walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. “I just want to go to bed.” She answered.

 

Nick led her into her room and had her sit on her bed.  He then walked in her closet pulling out a pair of basketball shorts and a black spaghetti strap tank top for her to wear.  “Here change and I’ll put your stuff away.” He replied.

 

As soon as he was behind her she pulled off her shirt and shoes and shimmied out of her jeans.  He caught a glimpse of her matching black bra and boy-short underwear from behind and stared a moment before she unhooked her bra tossing it across the room to land on a chair.  He looked away quickly chastising himself for staring.  When she was finished she turned around and saw that he was on the last bag, from Victoria’s Secret.  She started pulling things out of the bag that included underwear and various colors of bras. She pulled out a pair of red lacy boy-short underwear and a matching bra and he stopped a second and stared.  “What?” She asked smiling at his reaction.

 

“Nothing,” he replied and sat on her bed as she gathered up her new items to be washed and tossed them in the hamper. 

 

She walked back into her bedroom and stood in front of him smiling, “Nothing my ass.” She retorted leaning down to kiss him.  His hands immediately went to her hips as he pulled her down onto him as they leaned back on her bed.  They continued to kiss as she rolled over to her side as he followed suit his hand firmly planted on her hip. 

 

She laughed under her breath at his restraint and moved her hand to the hem of his shirt and slipped her hand under as he trailed his kisses to her neck and shoulder.  She moved her hand up to his shoulder blade and as he kissed her again she pulled him on to herself as she deepened the kiss her other hand going to his neck. 

 

The hand that was at her hip began to unconsciously grip her hip trying to restrain himself from lifting up her shirt.  All this time his mind was screaming at him to stop it before it went too far.  He couldn’t help it she tasted so good and it felt so right to kiss her.  She moaned as she raked her short nails down his back when he kissed her collarbone.  It was then he pulled away before he couldn’t stop himself.  He sat up and put his head in his hands.

 

She sat behind him and put her hands on his shoulders rubbing lightly. “What’s wrong?” She asked concerned her voice low.

 

He leaned into her as she moved her arms to wrap around his chest. “I had to stop.” He answered.

 

“Why?” She asked back.

 

He sighed, “Because if I didn’t then, I don’t know if I could have stopped at all.”

 

She understood and whispered, “Well, I understand, but tomorrow night, don’t stop because you’re scared or nervous because of what this means to our friendship.  You and I will always be friends no matter what remember?”

 

He turned seeing her face full of concern, “Alyssa friends don’t do this, they don’t kiss, they don’t...”

 

“I know, relax we’re going to stay friends but just this will be added I guess.” She assured.

 

“And be what fuck buddies? I don’t think so.”

 

Alyssa laughed at his statement, “Call it what you want.  Nick you don’t seem to understand that I trust you enough to have a part of me that no one ever has had.  You’re the only one I can even think of doing this with and that's because of our friendship.  I know that you have been burned so many times, hello I was there.  But I have I ever asked you for anything?”

 

He looked her in the eye, “No.”

 

“Then I’m asking you now, let go. Let go of that voice in your head that tells you to stop.  I’m not asking to be your girlfriend, I’m asking you to just be, the good, bad, everything ok?” She answered back as he pulled her into a hug.

 

He pulled away and put her hand over his heart, “You’re amazing you know that?” He remarked as she smiled feeling his heart beat quicken.  He leaned in and gave her a kiss before getting up.

 

“Where are you going?” She asked.

 

“To bed.” He said before walking away only to be stopped by her hand on his wrist. He turned to see her sitting on the edge of her bed.

 

“Stay with me?” She asked.

 

He smiled at the look of innocence on her face, “Ok.”

 

She released his hand and smiled as he walked over to the left side of the bed, lifted up the covers and got in as she did the same shutting the nightstand light off.  She laid down facing him seeing his outline from the dim light of her stereo clock. 

 

He reached out behind her and pulled her to his chest as he settled on his back.  She draped her arm on his chest, and her leg in between his, and used his shoulder for a pillow as she quickly drifted off to sleep as he played with her fingers.

Chapter Four

Chapter Four: Birthday Suit

 

RING, RING....

 

Alyssa rolled over grabbing the phone cursing under her breath as she looked at the clock, 4:53 AM knowing immediately who it was, “Hello?”

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!!!!!!!!” Alyssa pulled the phone away from her head placing it down on the cradle and pressed the speaker button. Nick kissed her cheek and laughed having been awoken when she moved from his arms. 

 

After the obligatory birthday song she finally spoke, “Hi Mama and Daddy.” She said turning on the light on her nightstand.

 

“So how's it feel to be 21?” Her father asked.

 

Nick smiled as he walked towards the bathroom at her response, “I don’t know yet ask me tomorrow.”

 

“Well we’ll let you go hon. Tell Nick we say hi. We love you.”

 

“I will. Me too. Bye.” Alyssa said hanging up going into the bathroom seeing Nick rinsing his mouth from brushing his teeth. She got an idea and took off her clothes.  She took her underwear scrunched it into her palm and tossed it at Nick landing on the back of his head.  She quickly then got in the shower and started the water giggling slightly.

 

Nick reached his hand back picking up the garment looking at it.  He looked over at Alyssa one eyebrow arched.

 

“You want me, come in and get me.” She said smirking.

 

Nick thought he was hallucinating, “What?”

 

She laughed, “It’s my birthday and its not like I haven’t seen you naked before true it was only for an instant but still.” She added.

 

“Umm I think I’ll pass on the invitation for now.” His body yelling at him knowing that with an invitation like that he could throw her against the shower wall and have her if he said so.

 

She pouted, “Rain check?” She asked a little giddy.

 

He laughed at her reaction, “Tommorrow I promise.” He replied semi-limping to his bedroom closing the door and locking it.  He looked up and said to no one in particular, “You think you’re so damn funny don’t you?”

 

Later on that day...

 

The doorbell rang and Nick opened it rolling his eyes at who he saw. “Nice to see you’re up this morning.” Lori said looking him up and down noticing that he was trying to hide what Alyssa did to him and not very well at that.  He almost closed the door when he heard a voice saying ‘hey!’

 

He opened and just about died from shock, “Amanda?”

 

She walked in, “Nice to see you too.”

 

Alyssa bounded down the stairs in short jean shorts and a green tee-shirt that read “Gettin’ Lucky in Kentucky” with white flip-flops.  Nick stared at her, his eyes moving from her legs all the way up to her face framed by her long dark hair.  She grabbed her purse checking to see if her wallet and keys were in it. “Amanda!” She said excitedly running over pulling her into a hug.

 

“Wow Ali since when did you turn into a girl!” Amanda said laughing.

 

Alyssa laughed, “I’ll tell you at lunch, c’mon!”  She kissed Nick on the cheek and went out the door Amanda following shutting it behind her.

 

Lori watched the whole scene play out, “Shocked to see her?”

 

Nick looked over at Lori still shocked that Amanda would even come near him let alone fly to LA knowing she’d see him. “Yeah just...”

 

“Just what they are friends remember?” Lori said.

 

“It’s just weird seeing her again and to feel nothing when I’m around her.” Nick replied.

 

Lori smiled, “That’s good.  It means you’re over her. Which considering what’s going down tonight and all is a good thing.”

 

Nick rolled his eyes, “Can we please just go set up at the club and pick up all of her presents including one of the ones I got her.”

 

“Where are we going to put it?”

 

“Parking Lot” Nick replied as he held the door open for her.  She grabbed her bags and loaded them into his car.

 

Meanwhile...

 

“I can’t believe that you’re 21.” Amanda said astonished.

 

Alyssa laughed, “Nick’s more surprised than you are.  I didn’t think I’d be single or still a virgin on my birthday.” She said blushing a bit then taking a drink of her soda.

 

“Freaked out?” Amanda asked.

 

Alyssa sighed, “I’m more freaked out about the way he’s been making me feel lately.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well he kissed me the other day, when Tom broke up with me.”

 

Amanda’s eyes widened, “And what you’re afraid of a kiss?”

 

“No but since then I can’t stop kissing him.”

 

Amanda laughed, “God I was wondering when he would open your eyes.”

 

“What do you mean by that?” Alyssa asked confused.

 

“Anyone who has ever been around you two has seen the sexual tension between the both of you.  He’s known it for a long time.  Just needed you to see it and I think he finally got you to tap into it.” Amanda explained.

 

“Tension?”

 

“Ok, even when I was dating him the way he’d look at you. It made me so jealous because I wanted him to look at me that way.  You made him light up when he was even near you.  He never did that with me.  I never blamed you though, you had no idea that he wanted you more than me.”

 

“Is that why you two were fighting so much?”

 

“Well that and while he was mentally cheating on me I was actually cheating on him.”

 

“What made you do that?” Alyssa asked.

 

“Well the last straw was when we were together and he said your name right in the middle of...” Amanda trailed off laughing a little.

 

“He did what!?!?”Alyssa exclaimed.

 

“Yeah he did, he was obviously thinking of you and said your name and I went ballistic on him.”

 

“Holy shit that explains a lot.” Alyssa said sitting back in her chair.

 

At Concorde...

 

“A little bit lower. Perfect!” Lori shouted when she saw the streamer in the perfect position. 

 

Nick laughed at her from his position on the floor wrapping the two presents he had gotten her. “So you think she’ll like what I got her?”

 

Lori sat next to him, “She’ll kill you for spending so much on her you know that?”

 

Nick smiled, “She deserves this she’s worked so hard and deserves a break.”

 

“You do realize that she’ll never take a break, she’s going to get a job after she graduates.”

 

“I realize that but I want her to work because she wants to and not because she has to.” Nick replied.

 

“Damn you really love her huh?” Lori retorted.

 

Nick shot her a look, “Yeah, I’m completely freaked out about tonight though.’’

 

Lori laughed, “So is Alyssa.”

 

“You’re kidding right, she seems so at ease with everything.  Especially when...”

 

“When you guys kiss?” Lori finished.

 

“She told you?”

 

“Yep, and for some reason she happens to really enjoy it.” Lori remarked.

 

“She said that?”

 

Lori sat down next to him, “She did, but she doesn’t have to.  I know her better than you do which is hard to believe, but seriously look at her after you guys kiss what color are her eyes?”

 

He looked confused, “Green as usual”

 

“What shade, really light or dark like normal.”

 

He thought a moment, “Really light and bright too kind of shocked me.”

 

Lori laughed, “You know what that means right?”

 

“Umm no?” He said.

 

“Collin told me this before he died that when they’d kiss if they’d really get into it her eyes would turn a really bright light green that from far away looks blue.”

 

“And?”

 

“It means she’s turned on dumbass.” Lori retorted rolling her eyes.

 

“Oh.” He paused, “Th..that’s good to know.” He said stuttering a little.

 

Lori put her hand on his shoulder, “Trust me she wants this as much as you do, she won’t admit it but she does.”

 

Nick looked over at her his mind processing everything he heard.

 

At the restaurant...

 

“Oh my God that’s hilarious!” Alyssa managed to blurt out in between her laughter.

 

Amanda controlled her laughter, “I know I felt so bad for him I had to say yes.” Amanda finished her story of when Nick asked her out.

 

“He never told me that.  Shit that’s funny.” Alyssa said wiping her eyes.

 

“Alyssa?” A female voice said.

 

Alyssa turned not expecting to see who she saw, “Dalene, hey!” She said getting up hugging her.  “Amanda, this is Dalene Kurtis.”

 

“Yeah I think we met once at the Playboy Mansion.” Dalene said smiling.

 

“Wow, this is weird two of Nick’s exes.” Amanda said laughing a little.

 

“Dalene sit down gossip with us.” Alyssa replied sitting down.

 

“Sure.” Dalene said sitting down at the table. “So how have you been Alyssa.”

 

“21.” Amanda said smiling.

 

“Oh yeah that’s right your birthday is today huh?”

 

Alyssa smiled, “Yep, Carter, Lori, and Kellie are setting up at Concorde where the party is going to be.  You got an invitation right?”

 

Dalene smiled, “Yeah, I wasn’t going to go since Nick would be there.”

 

“Ok but he’s not mad at you for dumping him, surprisingly.” Alyssa stated trying to coax her into coming.

 

Dalene laughed, “I know.”

 

Alyssa looked confused all of a sudden, “Umm care to explain?”

 

“Bumped into him yesterday while he was shopping with one of the guys.”

 

“And?”

 

“I told him that I was sorry if I had hurt him at all and that I wanted him to be happy and that you two should hook up.”

 

Amanda smiled, “You too huh?”

 

“Yeah you have to be blind or you Alyssa to not see how much that guy loves you.” Dalene finished.

 

Alyssa thought a moment, “You know I wish he’d tell me that because I’m really getting sick of hearing from everyone around us.  I just don’t see it, he’s a great guy, he’s always been there for me when I needed someone.”

 

“And you think that isn’t love?” Amanda asked.

 

Later on that night…

 

“Guys?” Alyssa called out entering the house, taking off her shoes, receiving no response.  She walked in and went to the kitchen smiling at the note on the refrigerator:

 

Lissa,

 

Kel and Lori went to get some last minute things at the store. I’m upstairs taking a nap.  By the way happy birthday.

 

~Nick

 

She tossed out the note and went upstairs into his bedroom smiling at the sight she saw.  He was out cold, and sprawled across the bed face down his bare shoulders showing.  She walked in and crawled under the covers and just watched him.  A few minutes later he rolled to his side and opened his eyes seeing Alyssa there and smiled. “You’re back.” He said his voice hoarse from sleep. 

 

“Yep.” She replied.

 

“Have fun?” He asked.

 

“Yeah we ran into Dalene which was kind of weird having lunch with two of the only exes of yours that I got along with.” Alyssa stated scooting in closer to him as he pulled her into his arms.

 

“You’re lucky I decided not to sleep naked.” He said laughing.

 

Alyssa chuckled a bit then retorted, “Like you would have done anything, might I remind you that you could have had me early this morning.”

 

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t remind me.” He shot back as he moved to his back pulling her on top of him.

 

She looked up at him, “How did we get here?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean how did we go from a long distance friendship, to actually considering what is going to happen tonight?”

 

He smiled at her, “Maybe this is what we’re supposed to be. And everything we’ve done has led up to this.”

 

“But why now? Why not five years ago? Ten years from now?” She asked.

 

He sighed brushing a loose strand of hair out of her face. “Because five years ago you were 16 and illegal for me to even think about like that, plus I had Amanda, then you had Collin and after what happened to him I was there to help you pick up the pieces and the reason for it not happening ten years from now is because we live together and that sped up everything.”

 

“God you went all mushy on me!” Alyssa exclaimed.

 

He laughed, “Why because I want this?”

 

“Want what?” She asked smirking.

 

“You, us, this whole thing between us is a lot bigger than just a pact Alyssa.”

 

“But I wasn’t talking about having a relationship though.  I don’t want that.”

 

He looked confused, “What do you mean?”

 

“I don’t want a boyfriend period.  I want to be single for a while and date and do other stuff and not be tied down you know?”

 

He looked away, “I know.”

 

She saw the look on his face, “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to hang out or go through with tonight.”

 

He looked back at her and thought a moment before pulling her into a kiss.  “AHEM!” Lori cleared her throat for second time as they broke away from the kiss.  “Come on Ali, Kellie needs to do your hair and we’re leaving in an hour so you guys have to eat and get showered and dressed and make sure the guys come over or they won’t get in.”

 

Nick got up pulling on a shirt over his Nautica drawstring pants, “Why wouldn’t they get in?”

 

“Because they weren’t put on the list, Kellie forgot to so the bouncer won’t let them in. They are coming over right?”

 

“Yeah they are.” Nick replied going into the bathroom and shutting the door.

 

Lori looked over at Alyssa with a knowing smile, “You say what I think you’re going to say and I’m throwing something at you.” Alyssa retorted blushing a little. The door bell rang as they walked down the stairs. Alyssa went to answer it seeing all of the guys, including Kristin and Leighanne.

 

Kristin remarked, “Love the shirt.”

 

Alyssa looked down laughing at her “Gettin’ lucky in Kentucky” shirt.  “Come on in guys, Carter will be down in a second.” Everyone walked into the living room seeing Kellie making a last minute alteration to something short and black. 

 

“Ali come here a second.” Kellie semi-commanded.  Alyssa walked over and Kellie held up the material to Alyssa’s hips. “I am a genius!” She exclaimed.

 

Lori rolled her eyes bringing in a pitcher of water and 8 glasses.  “Don’t worry guys she always says that when she gets her measurements right.”

 

Nick came down stairs a few minutes later in a white sweater with dark polo slacks and sat down on the couch putting on his shoes. “Hey guys.” Nick said laughing as he watched Kellie dragged Alyssa up the stairs.

 

“So you ready for tonight?” Lori asked smiling brightly at Nick.

 

He glared at her in response for a moment, “It’s not everyday that my best friend turns 21 you know?” He smiled back playing off her question.

 

“So Nick she’s really nice, how’d you two meet?” Leighanne asked.

 

Nick smiled, “Leslie met her at summer camp and invited her to her birthday the next summer and I met her there and we became fast friends.”

 

Lori chuckled a bit, “Leslie is awesome and at the door.” She said looking out the window.  She opened the door smiling as Leslie walked in.

 

“Where is my birthday girl?” Leslie asked.

 

Lori hugged Leslie, “She’s upstairs, Kellie is doing her hair and makeup.”

 

Leslie cringed, “I better go save her before she looks like she belongs on the Sunset strip at 2 AM!” She said laughing before running up the stairs.

 

Upstairs…

 

Alyssa sat on the chair trying not to fidget as Kellie carefully curled her hair to perfection.  “Alyssa calm down you’re a ball of nerves today.”

 

“Considering what Nick and I are going to do tonight I think I can be sufficiently nervous.” Alyssa shot back as she looked in the mirror.  “God I’m scared.” She remarked.

 

”Of what? Nick? Ali I’ll be honest with you it’s going to hurt but I know him he won’t let it hurt for long.”

 

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Not nervous about that.” She stated.

 

“Then what?” Kellie asked concerned.

 

Alyssa sighed, “I’m afraid of what this is going to do to us.  If we’re lovers or friends with benefits, or whatever.”

 

“What do you want to be with him?”

 

“I don’t know.  If you would have asked me last October I would have told you to pick out a china pattern for the wedding but I moved on when he started dating Paris.” Alyssa replied sighing.

 

“And what does he think?”

 

“Well the way he was talking earlier he was going on and on about how much he wants this for us and wants to be more than just friends with benefits.”

 

“So?”

 

“I think he wants me to be his girlfriend but I don’t want a commitment right now.” Alyssa answered as Lori and Leslie walked in the room.

 

“Wow, Ali you look killer.” Leslie said beaming.

 

Alyssa turned a bit to see Leslie in her light blue cocktail dress, “So do you chica.” She replied with a smile.

 

Meanwhile…

 

“So what’s the significance of being 21, besides being able to drink legally?” Kristin asked.

 

Nick sighed, “Because she’s lucky to be alive.  She had a really dark time in her life a little over 3 years ago and I promised her that we’d celebrate if she made it to her 21st.” Nick said embellishing the part about celebrating.

 

“What happened.”

 

“My dad was diagnosed with cancer, and Collin my boyfriend at the time died in a car accident.” Alyssa said walking in the room her hair done but still in her t-shirt and shorts.

 

“Wow.” Kevin said.

 

“Yeah Nick was the one who pulled me out of it.  Especially after I had to spend the night in the hospital.”

 

“Why did you have to spend the night in the hospital? Your dad?” Leighanne asked concerned.

 

Alyssa glanced at Nick for reassurance and was met with him staring at her encouraging her to get it over with, “No, because I had to have my stomach pumped and I lost a lot of blood.” She said lowly.  “Nick saved me from myself.  See this scar?” She asked holding out her wrist.  “I did that to myself and swallowed a bunch of Tylenol.  I was seriously screwed up back then.”

 

“So did you have to go to counseling or something?”

 

“They recommended it but I didn’t need someone to shrink me.  I just needed someone to listen and that’s what he did.” Alyssa replied smiling at Nick letting him know that she was ok with talking about what happened.  “Anyways I better go get dressed.” Alyssa said before running up the stairs.

 

Everyone looked at Nick shocked that he’d take responsibility like that for someone.  “I think I underestimated you.” Kevin said smiling a little. 

 

“You must really care about her to help her through all of that.” Kristin added.

 

Nick smiled, “Yeah I do, I’ll be right back guys.” Nick replied walking up the stairs seeing Lori, “Where’s Alyssa?”

 

“Bathroom changing.” Lori said bounding down the stairs all made up and ready to go.

 

Nick walked into his bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door, “Come in.” He heard her say.  He walked in seeing her trying to tighten up the strings to a black corset with straps.  He stood and stared as he looked at her in a short black skirt hair over her shoulder desperately trying to tie the corset in place.  He smiled walked over locking both bathroom doors.  He walked over to her taking the strings in his hands and pulled a bit until she told him to stop and tied it into a bow tightly enough so it wouldn’t come undone on her.  He then kissed the top of her head as she turned around in his arms.  She leaned up and kissed him as he pulled her closer both of them sighing as their lips met.  They broke away a minute later.

 

“Fuck, you look hot.” He said his voice low and raspy.

 

She blushed and leaned up again to kiss him only to pull away breathlessly moments later, “Stop me.”

 

“What?” He asked.

 

“Stop me because lord knows I can’t stop myself.” She stated pulling him in for another kiss.

 

He pulled away this time their foreheads touching, “I’ll stop you just this once, but when we get back tonight I won’t ok?”

 

She smiled, “Ok.” She answered back as he walked out to his bedroom and down the stairs.

 

About ten minutes later Alyssa came walking down the stairs in her black corset, black skirt ensemble that made AJ and Howie give her cat calls.  She laughed and grabbed her id putting it in her small bag for the evening.  Kellie walked down a minute later her hair pulled up in a pony tail wearing a leather skirt and a sparkling top.  They all packed up and headed to the club which wasn’t far from the house. They arrived about twenty minutes later Alyssa showing off her ID to get in as the guys followed her to the VIP section that was adjacent to the dance floor. 

 

Alyssa squealed when she saw who was sitting at the booth already.  Clark and Olivia her siblings.  They stood and gathered their baby sister in a big hug. “Happy birthday munchkin!” Her brother exclaimed as she punched him on the arm for the name. 

 

Alyssa turned around, “Guys these are my older siblings Olivia and Clark.”

 

“Hey Nick, my sister been behaving herself?” Clark asked.

 

Nick laughed, “Never.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“What on earth are you wearing?” Olivia remarked looking at Alyssa’s outfit. “Girlie you better be careful don’t tease a guy wearing that.  That’s just asking for trouble.”

 

A short blonde came walking over, “Damn Ali didn’t I tell you that you should become a porn star.”

 

Ali swung around, “Jenna!” She exclaimed pulling her into a hug.

 

The guys instantly recognized her, “Is that?” AJ asked.

 

“Jenna Jameson, yeah she lives next door to Alyssa’s parents and her and Alyssa are really close.” Nick finished.

 

“Nick!” Jenna exclaimed pulling him into a hug as the guys laughed.

 

“Jenna, it’s nice to see you again.”

 

Jenna smiled, “You’ve been treating my girl well?” She asked.

 

“You know it.” He replied as Lori brought over a tray of full shot glasses, lime wedges and a few salt shakers.

 

“Alyssa you and me lunch on Monday?” Jenna commanded more than asked.

 

“Most definitely.” Alyssa replied.

 

Lori set it down handed AJ and Kellie each a glass of soda and everyone else a shot glass saying, “Alyssa here’s to your first official drink as a legal 21 year old!” Lori exclaimed before licking the salt off her wrist, downing the shot, then eating a lime wedge with everyone else.

 

Later on…

 

“I’m going to go grab some water at the bar ok?” Alyssa said over the music.

 

Nick nodded as he saw Amanda headed over to the booth.  “Hey guys, Nick.” She said. “So exactly when are you going to tell her?” Amanda asked smiling.

 

“Tell her what?” Leighanne asked.

 

Amanda laughed, “I want him to admit to her that he’s in love with her and don’t argue you know you are.” She replied.

 

All of the guys looked at him not in the least bit shocked.  “What? Alright, yes I’m in love with her ok?  Happy now?” He retorted.

 

“Prove it.”

 

“What?” He asked.

 

“You see her over there? Go over there and kiss her.” Amanda said trying to see what Alyssa’s reaction would be if he went through with it.

 

“You’re kidding right?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Nick rolled his eyes, “Fine but if she laughs its your fault.” Nick replied getting up walking over to Alyssa who was on her way back to the table.

 

“Hey what’s up?” She asked. 

 

“Don’t ask but just go with it ok?”

 

“What are you…” He interrupted her, pulling her into a kiss.  A minute later he pulled away.  “What was that about?” Alyssa asked smirking.

 

“Blame Amanda she dared me to.” Nick replied as they headed over to the table.

 

Alyssa saw Amanda’s amused expression, “Happy now?” She asked.

 

“Actually yeah I am.”

 

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “God you do know that he and I are completely comfortable kissing each other.  What did you expect me to freak out or something?” Alyssa retorted.

 

All of the guys sat shocked, “What?” Nick asked.

 

“Wait a second you two are ok with kissing each other?” AJ asked quite confused.

 

Alyssa and Nick looked at each other and then back at everyone, “Yeah” they said in unison.

 

Lori laughed at them, “And yet they won’t go out with each other.” She remarked smiling at both of them.

 

Alyssa’s ears perked up when she heard one of her favorite songs.  She turned to Nick and smiled, “No.” He said bluntly.  She smiled bigger, “I know what you’re thinking and there is no way.” He replied.

 

She laughed and grabbed his arm, “Don’t make me drag you out there.” She said laughing as Aaron walked up. Alyssa got an idea then, “Well if you won’t dance with me, I’ll just take Aaron then.” She said letting go of his arm and walking off with Aaron who turned around and made a face at Nick.

 

The guys laughed, “Let me guess Aaron has a crush on her?” Kristin asked.

 

“Yep ever since he discovered that girls don’t have cooties.” Lori remarked getting up.  “Come on Blondie lets go.” Lori said dragging him out onto the dance floor heading to the middle where Alyssa was with Aaron.

 

“So exactly when are you going to give me the time of day?” Aaron asked.

 

Alyssa laughed at him, “You’re illegal for me to date and you’re like my little brother.”

 

“I’m almost 17 and I’m not little I’m almost as tall as Nick.” Aaron shot back.

 

“And I’m 21.” Alyssa retorted.

 

Lori walked over to them, “You don’t mind if I steal him right?” She asked Alyssa.

 

“Go right ahead.” Alyssa responded letting go of Aaron who was soon whisked off by Lori.  Alyssa went to leave the floor when she felt arms slip around her waist. She looked behind her seeing Nick there.  “Glad you decided to save me.” Alyssa remarked turning around.

 

“Well you know I don’t like you flirting with my brother.” Nick replied.

 

“Jealous?” She asked.

 

“No just protective is all.”

 

“More like territorial.” Alyssa shot back.  “Besides its you who I made the pact with not Aaron remember.”

 

Nick rolled his eyes, “Yeah I know”

 

Meanwhile…

 

“Now see that’s a match made in heaven.” Lori remarked as Aaron and her watched Alyssa and Nick.

 

“What?” Aaron scoffed.

 

“Face it kiddo those two belong together. Besides do you really think you stand a chance against him?” Lori asked.

 

Aaron watched them intently, “She doesn’t like him and he dates blondes.” He replied.

 

“She does like him and won’t admit it, and the only reason he dates blondes is because they aren’t her.”

 

Later on…

 

“Ok open mine first!” Kellie exclaimed.

 

Alyssa laughed and took the envelope from her having already opened all the other guests presents except for her closest friends. Half the partygoers already left leaving the guys, Leslie and Aaron, Lori, Kellie, Clark and Olivia. She opened it seeing a card, she read it and then opened it, seeing a Victoria’s Secret gift certificate and piece of paper that said ‘This paper entitles you to any of my (Kellie Jackson) designs for free.’  “Aw Kel this is awesome!” She said pulling her into a hug.

 

“What is it?” Lori asked.

 

“An IOU saying that I can get any of her designs for free once she hits it big!” Alyssa said.

 

“Whatever I can do to get her to wear a dress I will do!” Kellie laughed.

 

“Ok mine next!” Leslie added.

 

Alyssa took the present and opened it seeing a charm bracelet that had all different charms on it. “Leslie this is beautiful thank you!”

 

Olivia handed Alyssa a large box, “This is from Clark, Angela, and myself.”

 

Alyssa tore open the bright paper seeing a teddy bear with a party dress on she read the little birth certificate aloud, “This is Munchkin” Alyssa rolled her eyes at her nickname.  “This bear is adorable, I love it.” Alyssa replied smiling.

 

“Ok we all had absolutely no idea what to get you Ali, but we thought that you might like this.  It’s from all of us.” Kevin said smiling handing her an envelope.

 

“You guys didn’t have to get me anything!” She said opening it and read the card to herself, ‘We don’t know you very well yet but we know that you make Nick happy so enjoy this after you graduate!’  She opened the card seeing two roundtrip plane tickets to Australia.  “OH MY GOD! Thank you so much I’ve always wanted to go to Australia!” She exclaimed.

 

“You’re welcome we all thought that maybe you could go on vacation for New Years or just after graduation for a while.” Kristin replied.

 

“Thank you so much this is awesome.”

 

Nick smiled a little and handed her the first of two small boxes, “I got you two presents this year.”

 

Alyssa laughed at him, “You of all people do not need to get me anything!” She smiled taking the little box from him.  She opened it and gasped.  “You are in big trouble mister.” She replied shocked.

 

“What is it?” Everyone asked.

 

She laughed and held it up for everyone to see, “An American Express Centurion card.”

 

Everyone looked over at him, “The black am-ex! Don’t you have to spend 100,000 dollars a year to get one?” AJ asked.

 

“I added her to mine.”

 

“Nickolas Gene Carter I told you that I don’t want your money.” Alyssa replied.

 

“For emergencies then.” Nick shot back.  “Besides I trust you. Anyways if you’re mad at me now wait until you see your second present.” He answered her handing her the second box.  She glared at him as she opened the box seeing a set of keys.  She looked at him suspiciously, “Go outside.” He semi-commanded.  She got up and practically ran outside followed by everyone.  “Ok press the lock button.”

 

She did seeing the lights of a midnight blue Audi hard top convertible light up. “Oh my god.” She walked over to it not believing that it was real.  “You’re kidding right.”

 

“Nope it’s yours, think of it as a graduation and birthday present.  Look under the hood.” He said smiling.

 

She reached under and popped it open, seeing the Audi engine with one minor modification, “You made it a HYBRID!” She exclaimed.

 

“Yep I had it customized since you’re very environmentally conscious that and it’ll save you a bunch on gas.”

 

“You are the best thank you thank you!” Alyssa said giving him a hug.

 

Lori laughed at them, “He out does everyone every year when it comes to her birthday.” She remarked to the guys.

 

“You’re kidding right?” Brian replied

 

“Nope, last year he took all of us to Cabo San Lucas for her birthday, and for her 18th he gave her that necklace she’s wearing.” Lori added pointing at the drop pendant that had a two-carat diamond on its end.

 

“Its funny he acts as if…” AJ trailed off.

 

“Like she was his girlfriend?” Kellie finished.

 

“Yeah I swear they are eventually going to marry each other.” Olivia added.

 

AJ laughed, “Why do you say that?” He asked.

 

Olivia looked at him, “Look at them, everyone who has ever been around them can see that they’d make a perfect couple.  That’s why everyone one that they date usually either dumps them or gets dumped for trying to break up their friendship.” Olivia explained.

 

“Ok you guys I think we’re going to take off.” Nick announced as Alyssa yawned a little.

 

“I’ll take you guys home. AJ you want to take Alyssa’s car?” Kellie asked.

 

“Yeah considering we’re the only sober ones who didn’t drive here.” He said smiling a bit walking over as Alyssa handed him her key.

 

Alyssa went over and gave everyone a hug and said “Thanks guys for coming!”

 

Lori packed up the presents in Nick’s trunk before getting in the passenger’s seat as Alyssa and Nick climbed in the back.

 

As they drove away Alyssa watched out the window watching as it began to rain.  “I guess we left at the right time huh?” Nick asked playing with her fingers and received no response.  He glanced up to the front seeing Kellie and Lori arguing over the radio.  He tugged on her hand so she turned to look at him, “Where are you?” He asked.

 

“Right here.” She answered.

 

“Physically, yes, but mentally you’re not here, where are you?” Nick asked quietly.

 

She smiled at him knowing her too well, “Just thinking that’s all.” She stated.

 

“About?”

 

“Everything.” She answered back as the car pulled into the driveway.  They got out and ran up to the house the slight drizzle had turned into a downpour.  Lori and Kellie got in Kellie’s car and waved to them waiting until they made it inside.  AJ left in his car moments later. 

 

“Wait here a minute, then come up ok?” Nick asked as he ran up the stairs trying to clean up as much as possible.  Alyssa went into the kitchen grabbing a glass of water nearly chugging it down.  She looked down at her hands noticing that they were shaking; she was nervous, and cold. 

 

She walked up the stairs gradually stopping at her room seeing it empty, she walked to his room seeing him picking up clothes and smiled, “You don’t have to clean for me I do live here.” She remarked admiring the view.

 

He turned around and walked over to her and pulled her into a kiss.  “Yeah but nothing kills the mood quicker than tripping over jeans.”

 

She smiled and leaned up pulling him back into a kiss.  He pulled her closer into the room and began to walk backwards to his bed.  He reached around behind her and started to untie her corset with no luck.  They broke away and she turned around and swept her hair over her shoulder so he could see what he was untying.  He kissed her shoulder and loosened up the top.  Just before he fully untied it she turned back around and smiled at him. 

 

“I’ll be right back.” She stated walking towards the bathroom.  She walked in and closed the door immediately shimmying out of her clothes grabbing the first thing she saw, one of Nick’s long sleeve button down shirts.  She put it on leave the top two and bottom two buttons undone.  She wiped off her dark eyeliner and makeup then took a look at herself in the mirror.  She played with her hair a minute getting it to lay just right; she loved it when her hair curled like that.  She smiled at herself mentally giving herself a pep talk. 

 

Meanwhile Nick took off his shoes and socks and sat nervously wondering what he was going to do, what he’d say, what she was doing.  His thoughts were interrupted when the bathroom door opened. He looked her up and down and smiled a little seeing her in his white shirt.  She walked over to him as he stood up and she looked at the floor.  “Nervous?” He asked.

 

“Just a little.” She lied.  He could see it but let it slide for the moment when she pulled him into a deep kiss her hands sliding under his sweater taking it with her as her hands moved it up and over his head.  He took it and tossed it across the room pulling her back into the kiss as he turned her back to the bed.  As they kissed her hand went to his belt and zipper undoing his jeans letting them fall to the floor as he kicked them to the side and picked her up and placed them both on the bed still kissing as his hand began to move up from its spot on her bent knee.  He continued to slide his hand upwards until he reached for her underwear finding none his broke the kiss and gave her a quizzical look.  “I figured it was going to come off anyways.” She replied smiling weakly. 

 

He smiled back and leaned down to kiss her as he gently touched her.  She moaned into the kiss as his fingers slipped inside, gasping for breath as he moved his kisses down her neck to her collarbone. 

 

He continued his assault on her senses as he moved his fingers faster and trailed his kisses up to her ear finding her pulse point just below her ear.  She threw her head back shuddering lightly sighing his name as her release took over her body.  He removed his hand slowly and looked up at her seeing her face flushed and vigorously trying to catch her breath. 

 

She opened her eyes to meet his and she smiled a little reassuring him that she was ok.  He kissed her and began to unbutton the shirt she wore she sat up to discard it.  She all of a sudden felt extremely self-conscious and moved her arms to cover herself. 

 

He moved her arms and whispered in her ear, “Relax, you’re beautiful.” Then kissed her passionately. She relaxed in his arms as they kissed, one hand on his shoulder and the other in his hair as he trailed one hand down her body coming to rest on her bare hip.  He slowly moved his kisses down her throat and to her chest relishing in every curve. 

 

She giggled when he kissed his way down her stomach, having always been ticklish there.  She moaned a lot louder than she expected to when she felt his tongue come into contact with her.  He looked up a second to see if she was all right and she smiled.  Her smile turned into a moan as he began to dart his tongue inside her.  She couldn’t breathe.  She realized then that it wasn’t lack of air that in fact it was him.  Everything he did made her feel this way.  He stopped when he felt her body begin to shake slightly, moving up her body until he looked down into her eyes and smiled.

 

She looked up at him and sighed, “That was intense.” She remarked.

 

He brushed her hair off her face and kissed her forehead. “We can stop now if you aren’t ready yet.  This doesn’t have to happen.” Nick said allowing her a way out if she got too nervous.

 

She shook her head, “I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be.” She replied as she leaned up to kiss him.  She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him onto his back.  He gave her a look as she began to kiss down his chest.  He stopped her when she reached the waistband of his boxers making her look up at him.  “What’s wrong?” She asked.

 

He flipped them over and replied, “Tonight is for you, not me ok?” She nodded and He kissed the tip of her nose and then sat up discarding his boxers.  Before he could do anything else she pulled him back down.  “Wait.” He said.

 

“Relax I’ve been on the pill for three months.” Alyssa replied pulling him on top of her as they kissed.  He gasped as her hand wound around him moving slowly.  He broke the kiss and looked at her beneath him, her eyes brighter than ever.  He moved her hands to wrap around his neck and took her thigh and wrapped it around his waist.  He slowly slipped inside her stopping before he was completely in.  He looked at her; her eyes closed anticipating the initial pain. 

 

Not wanting to wait any longer he kissed her deeply before filling her until their hips touched, her scream muffled by the kiss.  They laid still allowing her to grow accustomed to the new sensations she felt.  She broke the kiss gasping for air, again she couldn’t breathe. 

 

He sensed that something was wrong, and asked. “Are you ok?” His voice filled with concern.

 

She opened her eyes seeing something written in his that she was sure that she’d never seen before.  “Not quite used to this yet.” She replied.

 

“Just tell me when you’re ready ok?” She laughed a little at him and he groaned,  “Don’t do that.”

 

“Why?” She asked.

 

“Because I felt that.” He responded nearly on the edge.  She laughed even harder at him.  “Oh God.” He moaned then kissed her to shut her up.

 

She smiled as they broke the kiss, “I’m ok.” She said moving her hands to his shoulder blades.  He kissed her sliding his arms under her shoulders holding her close as he began to glide in and out of her.  He loved the sounds she was making growing a little louder each time he’d thrust back into her. 

 

She couldn’t believe how good it felt, it was all too much to bear as his name fell from her lips.  She felt a rush of adrenaline surge through her every time their hips met causing their temperatures to rise even higher.  He was shocked when she lifted up her hips to meet his causing a low growl to come from deep in his throat.  “Lissa” he said over and over as they moved faster pushing them both closer and closer to the edge.

 

“Nick, I…” Alyssa managed to say before her body shook as her orgasm swept over her.  He had no choice but to follow moaning loudly as he buried his head into her shoulder.  He still moved inside her slowing down easing them both off their high.  He looked up catching her eyes as the both breathed heavily.  He kissed her deeply both of them groaning as he pulled out of her moving to lay next to her. 

 

She moved up closer pulling the sheets up around them, her leg in between his, using his shoulder for a pillow as they both regained normal breathing.  Her mind was a whirlwind; she laid there thinking about what happened. 

 

She finally spoke twenty minutes later, “I feel different, do you? No wait you’ve done this before...” She trailed off.

 

“I know what you mean.” He replied.

 

“You do?” She asked raising her head to look at him.

 

He sighed, “Everything’s different now, not just with us.”

 

“What do you mean exactly?” She questioned.

 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you Ali.”

 

She sat up, her hand holding the sheet to her chest, “What did you just say?” She asked looking at him.

 

He sat up taking her other hand and answered, “I love you Alyssa.”

Chapter Five

Chapter Five: Long Weekend

Nick woke up the fresh smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen. He looked next to himself and smiled seeing rumpled bed sheets knowing that she’d be down stairs making breakfast. He threw on a pair of pajama pants and a white tee-shirt and walked downstairs. His smile grew even wider when he saw her in the kitchen back turned to him wearing basketball shorts and a beat up Phoenix Suns tee-shirt. Her hair up in her usual messy bun showing her one and only tattoo, of the Japanese symbol for Libra, on her neck. He snuck up behind her slipping his arms around her waist while leaning down to kiss her neck.

She jumped whirling around a whisk full of pancake batter in her hand the excess flying onto his shirt. “Lissa I really think you should switch to decaf.” Nick remarked taking off his shirt walking into the laundry room grabbing wife beater fresh from the dryer.

“Damnit Nick you scared me!” Alyssa exclaimed her eyes following his every move. He walked back catching her stare and smirked making her turn back to her cooking.

He moved to the other side of the island countertop stove so that they faced each other. “We need to talk.’’ He stated his eyes fixated on her hands wishing that they were on him as she toyed with the spatula.

“What about?” She asked playing dumb, she knew exactly what he was talking about.

He rolled his eyes at her attempt to brush it off. “You know what about.” He paused as she looked up meeting his eyes. “What happened last night it was amazing and what I said…”

“Nick, you don’t need to explain.” She interrupted.

He sighed, “I don’t?” He asked.

“We slept together and you felt that you had to say something and that’s ok.” She explained.

Nick got a shocked expression on his face and moved over to her turning off the burner so that she wouldn't burn the food. She looked up at him as he put his hands on her shoulders. “Is that what you think is the reason I said what I said?”

She looked away from him, “Why else?”

“Maybe because I have been wanting to say that I love you for a long time now.” He finished.

Her eyes grew wide, “How long?”

“I realized that I loved you back in 2001.”

She glared at him, “Why are you only telling me now?” She asked turning back to the pancakes, turning the burner back on.

He rolled his eyes, “Because it freaked me out, that I could feel this way about you. That and you had just gotten out of a really difficult time in your life that’s what made me realize that I love you.”

“Stop saying that.” She shot back as she dished up the pancakes handing him a plate.

“Why? I mean it. Why can’t I say it?” He asked. She put her plate down and looked at him seeing him completely different than she had before almost vulnerable to what she could say. “It’s not like I’m asking you to say it back, I’d like that but that’s not why I’m saying it.”

“Then why are you?” She asked back.

He sighed, “Because I promised to myself that I’d tell you after the pact ran out whether or not we did anything.”

She went and sat down at the table eating her breakfast, a second later he joined her. “So how did you come to this realization?” She asked after taking a rather large gulp of orange juice.

He put his fork down and replied, “That night you spent in the hospital.”

“And?” She prodded as she got up taking her dish to the kitchen washing it off.

He smiled at her watching her walk out of the room. He got up and followed her into the kitchen. He pulled her to him holding her close. “And I want us to at least try to be together.” He answered.

She looked up at him, he tried to read her expression seeing apprehension in her eyes. “I don’t know Nick we’ve been friends for so long now. I wouldn’t know what to do.” She explained.

He smiled at her, “It’d be just like we are now, we’re still friends right?”

“I don’t know what the hell we are anymore, like you said friends don’t get this close.”

“I know but what do you think? What do you want us to be, it’s your call here not mine.” He stated.

She thought a moment, “You know if you would have said that you love me a year ago I would have said it back without hesitating.”

Now it was his turn to be shocked, “What changed?” He asked.

“You dated her, so I moved on.” She answered pointing to the name on his wrist.

“You can’t just stop loving someone out of the blue.” He reasoned as she rolled her eyes. He changed his tone knowing that she never responded well to being scolded or told what to do, “What feelings do you have for me?” He asked hoping she’d say something.

She looked up meeting his eyes, “Honestly, after last night I don’t know.” She stated.

He thought a moment. “Ok, let me ask you this, have you ever pictured us as more than friends?” He asked thinking he’d get a better answer.

She smiled, “I used to. I used to think that secretly you cared about me and that was why you kept me around to be a buffer when you got hurt. But I stopped doing that when I began to cut.” She explained. She breathed a moment, “I know that I care about you, I wouldn’t be friends with you if I didn’t. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t know how deep that goes.” She finished.

His eyes filled with hope as he looked at her seeing the woman that invaded his entire being. “So would you be willing to give us a shot?” He asked.

She looked at him thinking everything over, “Nick this is a huge decision and it needs careful consideration. You and the guys are going to Asia on Wednesday for two weeks how about I tell you my decision when you get back?” She said offering a compromise as she walked up the stairs him following right behind her.

“So you’ll think about it?” He asked flopping down on her bed as she walked around the room picking up books moving them to her desk.

She smiled, “Yes I will think about it. However you can’t push, I know you, and you want an answer but you have to give me time to think about it.” She shot back as she came back to sit next to him on her bed.

He chuckled a little at her knowing him so well. “I still get to kiss you right?” He coaxed.

She rolled her eyes at him, “You can do whatever you want to try and convince me to say yes but you can’t talk about it.” She stated.

“What can’t I say?” He asked.

“First of all you can’t ask me if I made a decision yet, when I have you’ll know. Secondly no round-about way of trying to get information from me, and lastly don’t tell me why you think we’d be good together.” She explained.

“So basically don’t talk about it period? Can I at least tell you that I love you?” He asked.

She smiled and laughed a little, “Yes, you can but don’t expect anything back, at least until I figure this out.” She finished as he took her hand in his playing her fingers.

He looked up at her taking his other hand pulling out her bun so her hair fell past her shoulders still holding some of the curl from the night before. “You should wear your hair down more often.” He stated changing the subject.

She smiled a little, “And why is that?” she said inching closer to him.

He smirked at her and replied moving closer as well, “Because it’s sexy as hell.” He put his hand at the back of her neck and pulled her into a steamy kiss. Her hand wove into his hair as he pulled her on top of him as he laid on his back. His hands went under her shirt running up and down her back kneading the soft skin. Her other hand moved slowly down his chest, down his stomach to the drawstring on his black pajama pants.

She untied it slowly and then slipped her hand underneath the waistband expecting to feel boxers but only felt skin as she moved her hand over him. He deepened the kiss moaning into it, then whimpering when she moved her hand away.

She broke the kiss and sat up motioning for him to do the same. When he did she slipped her hands under his shirt pulling it up and off of him as he smiled at her. She pushed him back down moving up to straddle his waist as she pulled him into a kiss that left them both breathless.

She trailed her kisses down his jaw line and to his throat nipping and sucking at his Adam's apple as he groaned loving every minute of it. She moved her mouth to his collarbone finding his weak spot that she normally used to tickle him. She smiled when he moaned louder than he expected to.

She continued to move lower stopping at his chest stopping looking up at him. “Did I ever tell how extremely hot these are?” She asked referring to his nipple rings.

“No you didn’t.” He managed to croak out. He sucked in a breath when she tugged on each of them gently then licked and sucked her way down his stomach. He stopped her as she began to tug at his pants. She looked up at him her eyes asking if she’d done something wrong. “You don’t have to do that.” He said trying assure her that she didn’t have to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with.

Her answer shocked him, “But I want to.” She shot back a devilish smile playing her her face.

“Ok.” He said as his body relaxed a bit. He definitely wasn’t going to stop her if she was ok with it.

She smiled knowing he was concerned about forcing her into something that she wasn’t ready for. “Lift up your hips for a second.” She commanded as he complied and she pulled his pajama pants down far enough to where he could kick them off. She stared at him a moment before taking him in her hand as she kissed his inner thighs. She looked up watching him as she moved her hand on him, his eyes closed, his hands grabbing the sheets. She moved her hand away from him and his body relaxed.

Then she took his hands lacing their fingers together and placing them above his head. “Keep these up here.” She stated firmly.

He opened his eyes seeing her still fully clothed. She smiled at him and moved back down his body stopping to plant feathery light kisses around his navel. Without warning she took him fully into her mouth as his entire body tensed up as he moaned rather loudly. He moved his hands to the headboard gripping it so tight that his knuckles were white. She moved her mouth on him changing from slow to fast and back again as his breathing became even more erratic than before she couldn’t help but laugh a little, the vibration made coupled with her mouth on him made him start to shake a little.

She felt that he was close and raked her short nails down his thighs as he came. She cleaned him up then removed her mouth from him and kissed her way back up his body. She stopped when she was eye to eye with him. She leaned in to kiss him slowly his hands loosened on the headboard and moved to cup her face as they kissed passionately. She broke the kiss and moved off of him taking off her shorts and underwear tossing her shirt to floor as well. She moved back to straddle him.

“Nick you may want to open your eyes for this.” She said smiling. He opened his eyes just in time to see her sink onto him as they both moaned.

She stayed still as they stared at each other her hands on his chest. “Why’d you stop?” He asked looking at her.

She lowered herself so that their lips were inches apart. “Remember how I said that I wanted you to teach me? Tell me or show me what to do.” She said smiling as his eyes grew wide. She kissed him as his hands immediately went to her hips moving them as she broke the kiss to throw her head back her hair flying everywhere. He moved her hips up and down bringing her down harder each time causing them both to cry out. She pulled him up to her as she met his eyes.

“Move like this.” He commanded moving her hips up, forward, then down and back making a figure eight. She moaned loudly as his hands slid up her back. She dug her hands into his shoulders for balance as she did what he had demonstrated coming down harder each time. His mouth latched on to the hollow of her throat as he moved his hips up to meet hers both groaning at the friction.

She pulled him closer to her body as she whispered, “Nickolas” in his ear.

He pulled back so he could look at her, “Say that again.” He said.

“What?” She asked looking at him.

“My name the way you said it, say it again.” He replied his voice low as she moved on him.

She smiled. “Nickolas.” She sighed pulling him closer again as he groaned. He held her to him and rolled them over so he was on top. Their breaths became shorter as they quickened their pace a light sheen of perspiration broke out on their skin. Alyssa held him to her as their moans became louder. A few minutes later they both cried out as they came in each others arms.

Nick looked up at her a minute later both of them still breathing heavily. She opened her eyes to look at him. He smiled at her brushing away the hair that was matted against her forehead. “Lissa.”

She smiled and sighed a little, “Mmm?”

“That was…”

“Incredible.” She added making him raise his eyebrows. “What?”

“Just never thought you’d be this open about it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that normally with someone with as little experience as you I guess…”

She rolled her eyes at him, “Just because this is what the third time I done this doesn’t mean I don’t know what feels good.” She explained.

“True, I think I am just amazed at how much you know already.”

She laughed at him, “I understand that but I have Lori and Jenna remember?” She asked.

“I know I guess I had always thought that only your mind was perverted not everything else.”

“Like I’m all talk or something?”

“There is a difference between saying it and then actually doing it you know.” He explained.

She smiled at him pulling his head down for a kiss, “I understand that but seriously I’m beginning to love this about us.”

“God I created a monster.” He retorted.

“Yeah a sex monster.” She shot back causing them both to bust out laughing.

That night...

Nick sighed as they sat and watched the movie. He looked to the floor seeing Alyssa stretched out on her stomach feet in the air. His eyes moved up her legs seeing her in her boy-short underwear staring at her backside.

Unbeknownst to him she smiled feeling his eyes on her knowing exactly what he was staring at. Without turning around she said, “You know if you keep staring at my ass like that you might just burn a hole through me.” She turned to her side seeing him blush a little and laughed getting up from her position on the floor walking over to him relaxing on the couch. She sat on him straddling his waist yet giving him enough room to get a good look at her smiling when his hands came to rest on her hips. “What are you thinking about? You seem so deep in thought.” She remarked.

“Just mentally reliving the past 24 hours.” He replied groaning as she scooted closer to where they were right against each other. She giggled and moved to kiss his collarbone as he moaned at her touch. “You have no idea what you do to me do you?” He asked.

She laughed and replied grinding her hips into his, “I think I got the thrust of it.”

He busted out laughing, “Damn woman 24 hours ago you were all innocent virgin and now you’re...”

“Horny....” She paused as he gave her a dirty look, “What it’s your fault.”

“My fault?” He said feigning shock.

“Yes, you’re the one that brought this out of me, my wild side.”

He kissed her shoulder, “If I knew you’d be this wild I would have had you a long time ago.”

“I didn’t even know I had this in me. I thought I wanted it to be all romance 24/7 but now it’s different.”

He looked at her strangely, “Are you saying you don’t like romance?”

“No I love it and it’s amazing but I guess I like being spontaneous and crazy too. Ok I have a few questions for you.” She stated.

“Like what?”

“Favorite position?” She asked as he gave her a shocked look. “Answer the question.”

“It used to be me on top but now I’m torn between the shower and this.” He said referring their current position.

“Really?”

“Yes, what about you?”

She looked around thinking a moment, “Well so far I’m loving the shower, that was just...” She said trailing off.

“Unbelievable?” He offered.

“Damn straight.” She answered back moving closer to him pulling him into a searing kiss. A second later she pulled away getting up quickly.

He stared at her, “What are you doing?”

“Going to raid your porn stash, what does it look like I’m doing?” She said grinning.

“Like you know where it is.” He said standing up grabbing at her.

She giggled and went to the stairs and smirked, “The dresser in your closet, bottom drawer.” She shot back before running up the stairs.

His eyes got wide as he ran up the stairs after her seeing his closet door open and empty. He looked around stopping on his bed seeing Alyssa sitting up straight Indian style on his bed as he laughed. “How in the hell do you know that?” He said joining her in the middle of his bed.

“One time while you were gone, I was cleaning out your closet and putting laundry away when I opened the drawer and saw it and might I say that’s quite a collection you’ve got going there, Jenna would be proud.” Alyssa explained as Nick turned red. “Hey relax I actually think that its pretty healthy for a guy to have a porn stash.”

“Why?”

“Well instead of going out and sleeping with some random chick who has been God knows where, it’s healthier to stay home. That and Lori was telling me that if you ever want kids to do that because it promotes healthy sperm production.” She explained.

“Geez you went all after school special on me.” He said laughing.

She smiled, “Anyways it’s kind of hot.”

“What?” He asked surprised again.

Alyssa rolled her eyes at him, “Oh come on like you’ve never thought of me touching myself?” She asked one eyebrow arched grinning.

“Ok a woman getting herself off is hot but a guy?” Nick said as he cringed.

“That’s only because you’re a straight guy. Being a straight girl is a whole different thing.” Alyssa answered back pulling him down onto her as she laid back.

“Smart ass.” He shot back.

“You love my smart ass.” Alyssa retorted giggling as he leaned down to kiss her.

The next morning...

Alyssa slowly stirred in her sleep opening her eyes slightly seeing a tattoo right next to her face. She raised her head smiling seeing that Nick was still asleep. All of a sudden she got a wicked idea and got up put on his shirt that was on top of the lampshade laughing at how it got there and grabbed a glass of water from the bathroom taking a sip. She pulled back the sheets seeing him completely naked. She placed the cup on the night stand and went to his calves bending down and traced the tattoos on both legs with her tongue.

Before moving higher she looked at him grinning a little in his sleep. She moved up to his chest licking around the fading footprint tattoos there she was kind of sad he was getting them removed. Alyssa looked up to his face seeing that he was still dead to the world; he was going to make her work for it to get him awake. She bent her head down taking him forcefully in her mouth as his eyes shot open and his hand immediately went to her hair groaning loudly.

She pulled away from him leaned up and kissed his lips and said, “Morning Carter.” She grinned at him then got up and walked towards the bathroom turning on the shower and getting in.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Damn tease.” He said out loud getting up walking into the bathroom opening the shower door getting in as well. He wasted no time grabbing her pinning her against the cold tile kissing her slowly exploring her mouth while his hands touched everywhere at once.

She broke the kiss laughing, “Like your wake up?” She said smirking.

Nick responded by kissing her, lifting her up and entering her swiftly both of them sighing into the kiss. They picked a feverish pace as she wrapped her legs around his waist arching her back as his mouth latched on to her chest. Alyssa cried out when he gently bit down on her skin. She pulled his hair to get him to look at her, when he did she pulled him into a steamy kiss while he picked up his pace as she dug her nails into his hair and shoulder. A few more thrusts and she screamed out her release, him not far behind shouting. The echo of the tile made it that much louder. He let her down while she still clung to him her legs like Jell-O.

“You’re such a tease.” He said smiling as they washed themselves.

She got out grabbing a towel wrapping it around herself. He got out a minute later seeing her stand in the door way fully clothed. “What do you want for breakfast?”

He grinned, “You.”

“I mean for food moron.” She rolled her eyes laughing.

“Cereal is fine with me. Not like I’m going to let you out of my arms long enough to cook.” He replied pulling on his khaki shorts and a black tee-shirt.

“Today is Sunday!” She exclaimed looking at the calendar. “Damn this weekend has flown by.”

He walked up behind her pulling her into his arms saying, “It’s still the weekend.”

She looked over her shoulder at him, “But Sunday is the day before I go back to class and so it’s tainted and can never be fully enjoyed.”

He kissed her, “We’ll make it enjoyable then won’t we?” He suggested as she smiled.

“Perv” She said seeing a knowing smirk on his face.

“Tease.” He shot back.

She laughed and moved out of his arms, “Takes one to know one.” She retorted walking down the stairs then to the kitchen. She walked over pulling out the cereal box, milk, two bowls and spoons.

“So you’re calling me a tease.” He stated as he came into the kitchen just watching her in her baggy camouflage shorts that went down to her calves and a white tank top that was just see-through enough to see the outline of her black bra. Her hair was still damp from the shower but laid in soft waves down past her shoulder blades.

Without answering him she handed him a bowl as she walked towards the living room flopping down on the couch and turning on the television channel surfing until she found a movie. He followed sitting down next to her both of them eating in silence Alyssa obviously fully engrossed in the movie which happened to be one of her favorites Miami Rhapsody.

Nick set his bowl on the coffee table having finished and sat back just staring at Alyssa. She swept her hair over her shoulder in the front as she put her bowl next to his, exposing her tattoo. He couldn’t believe that she’d actually gone through with it. Tommy and him were joking around that night and daring each other to get piercings and tattoos and she had said that she had her tongue pierced once and never wanted it again so they dared her to get a tattoo. He just didn’t think she’d actually go through with it.

She always surprised him like that. Just when he thought he figured her out she’d turn around an do something unexpected much like the weekend they were having. Never in his wildest imagination did he ever peg her as this open. Sure she talked about sex like a guy but for someone with such little experience to be that willing to try new things had surprised him once again. He looked closer at the tattoo seeing the bite mark he’d made the night before that had turned purplish around the ink. He smiled to himself thinking about how it got there and her reaction when he did it.

She turned to face him seeing his smile and smiled back leaning in close moving the collar of his shirt to suck on his collarbone. He sighed and pulled her closer. She pulled away just enough to look into his eyes. “You’re doing it again.” She stated trying to read his expression.

“What am I doing?” He asked acting innocent.

She chuckled, “Don’t act innocent with me, you were staring again.” She said as he turned a little red knowing he’d been caught. “And you were thinking about last night.”

“And this morning.” He replied smirking at her.

She rolled her eyes, “Why though?”

“Because I almost don’t believe it’s true. That this whole weekend is somehow a dream I’m going to wake up from tomorrow.” He answered.

Alyssa smiled at him and kissed his neck and whispered, “Tell me what I can do to make you believe that this is real?” She asked.

He pulled her onto his lap and leaned forward laying them down on the couch. He raised his head to look at her and smiled, “I’ll let you know.”

Chapter Six

Chapter Six: The Chemicals Between Us

Nick moved to turn off the alarm for the second time not wanting Alyssa to leave his arms just yet. He felt her begin to wake up and kissed her shoulder. She turned to look at him and said, “I definitely could get used to this.”

“What?” He asked.

“Waking up with you.” She replied sighing turning to the clock her eyes getting wide. “Shit I have to get up to get ready for school.” She exclaimed.

“Take a day off.” He said in response.

“I’m going to take a shower...”She said as she rolled her eyes at him grabbing the sheet pulling it around her and walking briskly into the bathroom. Nick tried to get up to follow her but was stopped by her finishing with, “Alone.”

He laid back closing his eyes imagining her in the shower mentally yelling at himself a minute later when she turned the shower off getting out walking into her bedroom past him and into her closet. He got up and threw on his boxers walking into her closet seeing her in her underwear pulling on a bra. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked.

She looked at him like he’d gone insane, “God no. I just knew that if you were to come in the shower with me I’d be late to class is all.” She explained smiling weakly at him.

Nick pulled her body to him and sighed feeling her still damp skin against him. “I don’t think I can get enough of you.” He revealed.

Alyssa looked at him seeing a mixture of love and lust in his eyes, “I don’t think I can get enough of you either.” She admitted looking in his eyes. All he wanted to do was kiss her but she pulled out of his embrace quickly throwing on her low-rise jeans, a black polo shirt and black flip-flops letting her hair down walking into the bathroom to straighten it.

She walked out about ten minutes later seeing him cleaning up their mess taking both their bed sheets to wash from the weekend’s activities. She smiled a little and went down to the laundry room smiling at the view she got of Nick in just his black Calvin Klein boxers obviously turned on, doing laundry. She chuckled at how domesticated and partly naughty the whole scene was. Alyssa walked up behind him sliding her arms around his waist hugging him from behind. One hand moved to tug at his piercings the other slid under his boxers gripping him in her hand. Nick groaned at her touch, “You’re going to be late.”

Alyssa leaned up whispering in his ear, “Do you want me to stop?” She said moving her hand a little faster.

“Hell no.” He semi growled at her as she smirked at him then looked to the clock on the side of the wall.

“Shit, I have to go we’ll finish this later.” She replied taking her hand away grabbing her books and walking out to the garage.

He stood there in absolute amazement not quite believing what had just happened. When he regained his composure he walked up the stairs to take a shower.

Alyssa laughed when she reached her new car seeing her keys on top of the roof with a note:

Ali,

I thought you might need these.

~ Alex

She smiled as she got in the car putting the note in her bag before driving off to school.

*************************************

Alyssa Narrating:

My life has officially gone nuts. First of all there's Nick but I’ll explain that later. Then there’s my thesis defense tomorrow, the day before Nick leaves to go on tour over in Asia. But then there’s my career that is going to start after I graduate.

I’ve gotten about a million job offers from high schools and universities wanting me to come and teach for them.

Great isn’t it?

True its great but there is only one job offer that I’m actually considering. UCLA, which is where I go, has offered me a full-time associate professorship teaching undergraduate English literature/Literature History.

Here’s the kicker, the class I would be teaching is an online only class. That of course means that I could go with Nick when he starts touring next year as he had hoped I would be able to without sacrificing a career and being able to have my own money.

Speaking of Nick; have I completely lost my mind? Quite possibly.... I cannot believe what has gotten in to me the last what three days? God I’m crazy. I have pulled a complete 180 on myself. Even Nick is shocked by my behavior and well its his fault. He brought this out of me. My wild side reared it’s head I guess.

And the result…

I have never been more confused in my entire life. I’m confused because of him. God he makes me feel…well he just makes me feel and I’m going out of my mind because of that.

Why you ask? Well lets see… I’ve known him for so long and it’s always been cut and dry with us, what our relationship is. But now I have no clue what we are, friends, friends with benefits, lovers? The last one is the most perplexing…and the most tempting.

Then what he said, he said that he loves me and my heart just stopped when he said it. I was beyond shocked but looking back on all of his actions it makes sense.

Which means…my god…all those late night talks, going to clubs, dancing together, or out to dinner, the way he hugs me, or looks at me, means a lot more to him than I had originally thought.

It also explains his apprehension for going through with the pact, he wanted to that’s clear but he went on and on about how we were going to be different and I guess we are now. Maybe I should let him have a shot, let my heart take control, he’s not hard to love and I did love him like that once.

But could I honestly tell him that I love him? At this point no. But then I think of the chemistry we have, not just because of our friendship, I’m talking physical chemistry. Friends who end up having sex don’t normally have sex that intense or that insanely good. Granted I am attracted to him, always have been, who wouldn’t he’s hot.

However, the things he makes me feel are insane and so amazing at the same time. As Lori puts it, he makes me hot, temperature wise and well everything else associated with that.

What am I going to do?

How should I act around him now that we’ve literally scarred every surface, room and wall of that house? Just brush it off and be normal as always, jump him every time we’re alone? Which I wouldn’t mind one bit and neither would he. Now I’ve got a little over two weeks to decide where I want this to go, do I want to be his girlfriend, or his booty call?

Decisions, decisions….

End Narration.

****************************************

Alyssa got out of her car locking it heading towards the lecture hall seeing Kellie sitting on the park bench talking on her cell phone. “Thank God I thought that you were never going to get here!” Kellie exclaimed hanging up her phone as she stood pulling Alyssa into a hug. Kellie looked at her a moment inspecting her, “So how was it?” Kellie asked getting a shocked look from Alyssa. “Your weekend I mean, we’ll get to your bedroom activities later.” Kellie replied giggling as they walked into the hall taking their usual seats.

“My weekend was a cross between amazing, shocking, and it was unbelievable seriously I had to pinch myself to make me realize that it was real.” Alyssa explained.

Kellie laughed at her response, “You’re kidding right? Carter gave you a weekend like that?”

“Contrary to what you think he’s amazing.”

“Well I never slept with him.”

“True.” Alyssa answered as they turned their attention to the professor.

Later that day…

Kellie and Alyssa laughed as they walked up to the front entrance of The Ivy. The hostess greeted them, “Hello and welcome to the Ivy, do you two have a reservation?”

Alyssa smiled and answered, “Yes were with Grdina party of four.”

“Grdina?” Kellie asked.

“It’s Jenna’s married name, Jay and Jenna Grdina remember?” Alyssa explained.

“Oh yeah sorry blonde moment.” Kellie answered.

“Yes right this way the other half of your party is waiting out on the deck.” The hostess replied taking two menus and walking them outside.

Jenna looked up from her menu just in time to see Kellie and Alyssa walk towards them, “Girls!” She exclaimed as she stood pulling each one into a hug. Lori glanced up from her menu looking at Alyssa and smiled going back to reading what the specials were. Jenna looked at Alyssa studying her a moment as they all sat down and then gasped.

“What?” Alyssa asked.

Jenna got a big cheesy grin on her face, “You had sex didn’t you?” She asked bluntly causing Lori to laugh and Kellie to choke on her water.

Alyssa got a shocked expression on her face and leaned in, “How in the hell can you tell that?” She asked.

“So it’s true?” Jenna asked as Alyssa rolled her eyes grinning and nodded ‘yes’. “Hon, I’m a porn star I have sex for a living. I think I can tell when one of my best friends isn’t a virgin anymore.”

Alyssa blushed and began grinning like an idiot. Lori looked at her and laughed lightly, “Was Nick really that good or are you just trying to make us jealous?” She asked sarcastically.

Jenna’s mouth dropped open, “Wait a second you and Nick? I should have figured, since you two are already attached at the hip, you guys had to make that literally too.” Alyssa laughed at the comment.

“So how was it, I want details, good descriptive details.” Lori commanded as the waiter came over to take their orders.

Alyssa ordered her favorite seafood salad and waited for the waiter to leave before she spoke. “You guys want details right?” Alyssa asked.

“Hell yeah.” Jenna stated.

“Alright we came home Friday night after the party and we started kissing and we went up to his room, which is bigger than mine, and he untied my outfit and I went into the bathroom pulled on one of his shirts with nothing underneath and came out nervous as all hell because as you all know I had never done anything besides making out with a guy.”

“Wait a second….back it up what brought you guys to the conclusion to sleep with each other in the first place?” Jenna asked.

Alyssa smiled, “When I was 16, Nick and I made a pact that said if we were both single and if I were still a virgin by my 21st birthday that he’d be my first. Only Kellie, Lori, and Amanda knew besides Nick and I.”

“Ok continue with your story now.” Jenna added quickly shutting up.

“Anyways, I’m guessing he was nervous too because I felt it in his kiss that he was afraid of hurting me or something, but we continued to kiss and got him undressed and when he went to take my underwear off he was shocked that he didn’t find any.”

“How was the sex? How bad did it hurt?” Lori asked smirking.

Alyssa rolled her eyes and replied, “Hurt like a bitch for a minute, he made sure it didn’t hurt for long though. And after the initial pain went away it was perfect, insanely perfect.”

“Perfect?” Jenna asked.

“I know, I know but seriously everything was perfect, he was perfect, just God we should have done it a long time ago.” Alyssa stated blushing. “The entire weekend was equally insane.”

“Like how insane are we talking here?” Kellie questioned.

“Basically we managed to scar every room, surface, wall, and floor of that house within the span of two days. I honestly could not keep my hands off of him.”

“Damn I’m jealous.” Jenna remarked then busted out laughing, “Hey you can tell him that he had sex that made a porn star jealous!” She exclaimed laughing her head off. Lori, Kellie and Alyssa soon followed suit.

“Well here’s the kicker girls…” Alyssa paused seeing them all immediately regained their composure and looked at her. “After the first time, he said and I quote ‘I love you Ali’” Alyssa stated as the three women in front of her all got shocked looks on their faces.

“He didn’t?” Lori asked.

“He did, and he wants us to be together.” Alyssa added.

“Like how together are we talking here?”

Alyssa sighed, “He wants me to be his girlfriend, I have until he gets back from Asia to decide.”

“Wait a minute you’re actually going to over-analyze this?”

“Yeah Ali, it’s Nick. You two have been making googly eyes at each other for years, why not go for it?”

“Because I just finally got over him, and now he wants more than friendship and the weekend we had made me confused as all fuck.” Alyssa explained.

Jenna smiled at her, “Do you realize how happy I am that you and him are hooking up. Your mother would be so happy.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “See that’s what I don’t want. I don’t want a commitment, or a boyfriend, because everyone will begin to ask questions that I am not ready to answer yet.”

“What in the hell are you smoking? This is amazing you and him can finally be together.”

“But I’m not sure I can feel for him the same way he does about me.”

Meanwhile...

“Oh someone had a good weekend!” Kevin remarked at Nick’s uncommonly happy disposition as they took a break from rehearsal.

All the guys laughed. “Did you get laid or something because I don’t think we’ve ever seen you in such a good mood.” AJ added.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Alyssa and I hung out all weekend and it was just great, something we haven’t done in a long time.”

“Wait a second just hanging out with her does this to you?” Howie asked.

Nick began to grin, “Yeah she’s just amazing and since she finished her thesis we have time to talk now like we used to and I love that about us we can talk about anything and there will be no judgments or anything just someone to listen to and get advice from.”

Kevin sighed, “Kristin and I are like that. My advice to you is marry the girl immediately if you two really are close like that.” He finished patting Nick on the back.

Nick laughed, “You guys have no idea how close she and I are, she knows stuff that I can’t even tell you guys.”

Brian shot him a look, “Like what?”

Nick grinned even more, “She knows me, knows my reactions to things before I even do. We even finish each other’s sentences or say the exact same thing at the same time. She says its because we’re on the same wavelength. I think it’s because we know each other so well.” He explained as they all got back up stretching a little before diving back into rehearsals. Unbeknownst to them Lori, Kellie, Alyssa, and Jenna snuck into the studio and watched the guys silently making comments. As the song ended Jenna wolf whistled in applause as the other girls busted out laughing. The guys whipped around seeing the girls there. Nick immediately grinning broadly. Alyssa grinned back and held out a white box for them. “What’s this?” Nick asked.

She smiled, “Chocolate truffle cake from the Ivy.” She stated holding the box out in front of her.

“Thanks hon.” Nick said as he walked over pulling her into a hug and took the box from her putting it over on the table for later.

Later that night....

Nick walked into his house exhausted just needing a good shower and maybe a backrub. He was sore everywhere but that was to be expected not having been on tour and dancing for so long. “Lissa?” He shouted the eerie silence getting to him as he walked up the stairs taking his clothes off on his way up to the massive shower that was calling out to him. He turned on the water getting inside letting it warm up until steam was practically billowing over the doors.

Leaning his hand against the wall he closed his eyes, seeing images of Alyssa her head thrown back in abandonment, as he remembered their weekend. What the hell were they now? He had no clue. He knew what he wanted them to be, but it wasn’t his call it was hers, he hated being so out of control in that respect. He felt his tired muscles give as he stepped under the near scalding water as he washed sweat and stress away.

When he finished he got out quickly wrapping a towel around his waist going into his bedroom cursing under his breath when he found no clothes. Remembering that it was laundry day as he padded down the stairs across the kitchen and into the laundry room.

Alyssa stood in the living room as she stared at him in just a towel and followed him into the laundry room laughing at the irony that she’d see him go to the place where she’d left him that morning.

Walking in she saw him just as he finished slipping on a pair of pajama pants now pulling the laundry out of the dryer separating her clothes from his into two laundry baskets. Alyssa moved behind him careful not to touch him she leaned up and blew lightly over his ear.

He jumped whirling around glaring at her smirk. She put her arms around his neck and leaned up pressing her lips to his. His arms quickly went around her waist pulling her body to his feeling her breathing increase and become shallow. His hands slipped over her waist down her ass lifting her up against him and then setting her down on the washer. He pulled away looking at her with longing that he had pent up the entire day.

“I believe I left you hanging this morning, no pun intended.” Alyssa commented pulling at the strings of his pajama pants.

Nick smiled pulling her back into a searing kiss only to pull away mumbling against her lips, “Upstairs...now!” He commanded as she got off the washer moving past him lifting off her shirt tossing it at him, then shimmying out of her jeans leaving her in just her white lace bra and underwear as she smirked at him as she walked backwards towards the stairs. He walked towards her shooting her a look before she ran up the stairs and into her bedroom giggling. He ran up the stairs after her going into her room stopping dead when he saw her no where to be found. She came up behind him and leaned up biting his neck. He shuddered and turned around. “What was that for?” He asked.

“Payback for the shiner you gave my tattoo.” She retorted pulling him towards her bed.

“You seemed to like it.” He shot back as they fell on the bed laughing.

*************************************

Nick Narrating:

I must be dreaming seriously. I can’t believe the weekend I had. Mostly I can’t believe Alyssa and the way she’s been acting the past few days.

This new side of her is definitely a welcome change. Not that I don’t like her normally, I am just so happy that our friendship didn’t get awkward.

I thought it would especially after I told her that I love her, I saw that fear in her eyes. Which gave me a little hope that she might feel the same. I know that has no logic but when it comes to Ali it does. Showing fear like that is a clear indication that she’s afraid to lose my friendship and well me. She has this profound debilitating fear of losing her loved ones and so that fear I saw is a good sign.

She’s easy to read, always has been. But now she’s faced with a decision to either try a relationship as more than what we are, or just be friends who occasionally hook up. The last of which I do not want. I love her, but it’s not my decision. I made mine already and I want her to be with me. I know the roles are completely reversed.

Normally it’s women wanting to be with me and I just want to be friends or I’ll just use them for sex. I know I know, it’s not right to use anyone but hey they are using me to get a record deal, more exposure, or to get away from the little town they live in. They see me as an escape and nothing more, just as I see them as an escape...from thinking about Alyssa.

It’s insane, I know that.

I knew that I loved her when she nearly killed herself. That night at the hospital made me see what life might be like without her and I couldn’t handle that. After that I didn’t let her out of my sight. At night we’d sleep in the same room because I was so afraid that she’d feel alone and do something again and I wouldn’t survive if she did.

Most of those nights I didn’t sleep much, I just watched her wanting to reach out and tell her how much I cared but I didn’t. I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to take advantage of her.

I never want to do that. Watching her all those nights made me see how beautiful she’d become. Watching her has become a habit of mine and it annoys everyone around us. Granted she’d always been adorable, cute even. But seeing her sleeping unaware of my eyes staring at her, studying her every curve, the way clothes hugged her just right. It made me see that I was wasting my time with all these little groupies from town to town and made me realize that the only one I wanted was her.

Honestly it’s really hard for me to take my eyes off of her.

It’s crazy, I’m crazy and I know that but I do that because I’m protective and I want to make sure she’s ok. It definitely comes in handy at a club always being able to spot her in a crowd.

Then came the inevitable, she went to college. I didn’t see her much and I hated it. Which is why I jumped at the chance to move to LA just to be near her. Also it’s why I convinced her to take online classes and be my personal assistant on my solo tour.

What I didn’t count on was that all the while I had her with me that she’d be with someone else romantically. That’s where Michael came into the picture. He’d been a close friend of mine and I asked him to come on tour with me to keep the testosterone levels up because having Alyssa and occasionally Lori and Kellie along was starting to get to me.

I didn’t count on Ali and Michael to hit it off. I didn’t count that our friendship would break them up. Actually the last one I made sure of. I was jealous. I wanted her for myself, no one could have her, and yet when it came down to it I was scared.

Scared of losing her as my friend.

So I sabotaged it, subtly. Taking up all her time with meaningless tasks, making sure she’d only have time for school, working with me, and spending a little time with me and that was it. My distraction worked like a charm too, he soon felt out of place and left and broke it off with her saying that he felt like a third wheel.

I hated doing that but I had to, they were getting too close, she was actually beginning to care about him and I didn’t want her to. I know it’s horrible and I shouldn’t have done it but I did. And because of that I’m close to getting exactly what I’ve been wanting....

Her.

End Narration.

*************************************

Nick rolled to his side seeing Alyssa staring at the ceiling. “Where are you?” He asked, a question that was commonly asked when either of them drifted off in thought.

Alyssa held the sheet to her chest and rolled to her side facing him, “I’m here I’m just thinking that’s all.” She said plainly.

He smiled lightly and brushed a few stray strands of dark hair out of her face, “I love you.”

She smiled rolling her eyes, “I know.” She spoke softly.

Quickly changing the subject, “So did you have fun?.... With the girls I mean.” He added.

Alyssa sighed, “Yeah I always have fun with them. Jenna knows though.”

“About us? I thought that you didn’t want to tell anyone?”

“I didn’t tell her, she saw me and she just knew. It’s a woman thing I guess.”

He pulled her in close his hands roaming her back. “What did she say?”

Alyssa shuddered a little at the light touch scooting closer to him, pushing him on his back as she came to rest on his chest. “She couldn’t have been happier.” She replied looking up at him while she traced over one of his fading footprint tattoos lightly with the tip of her finger. She laughed when she heard his stomach growl. “You hungry?” She asked.

“A little, haven’t had dinner.” He replied seeing her get up grabbing his shirt from the floor slipping it on then padding across the room. “Where are you going?” He asked.

“I got an idea, give me a second.” She replied smiling before going out of the room. He laid back looking at the ceiling thinking how great it would be to put mirror up there.

A few minutes she walked back in carrying mint chocolate chip ice cream, peanut butter, and chocolate. He sat up as she put everything on the night stand and crawled into his lap. “Theres this and I ordered Chinese that will be here in about 40 minutes.” She grabbed the ice cream handing him a spoon as they both dug in to the carton.

“Damnit.” He stated when the cold ice cream dripped onto his skin. Alyssa smiled taking the spoons and carton moving them to the night stand and leaned down licking it up off his chest then trailing her mouth up to his where their lips met tasting the ice cream off of each other’s lips. She sucked on his lips as she pulled away smiling deviously. He looked at her, her hair mussed from lying in bed.

She looked at him her heart beat racing she moved the sheet from around his waist... “I want you.” She said bluntly garnering a surprised look from him as she leaned forward kissing him. He quickly grabbed the hem of the shirt and lifted it over her head only breaking the kiss to do so. He leaned her on to her back as he kissed down her neck and back up to her mouth before entering swiftly making her cry out.

He moved slow, too slow as her nails dug into his shoulders urging him to go faster. She wrapped her legs around his waist and lifted her hips up to meet his as their sounds grew louder. He leaned down to claim her lips as they quickened their pace. Breaking the kiss Alyssa arched her back as the first wave hit her leaving her neck exposed.

He moved to suck and nip along her throat moving then to her shoulder biting down rather roughly as he came and she followed for a second time. They slowed down breathing heavily. The room was silent as they regained normal breathing. He looked up at her and smiled as she smiled back both deep in thought.

The doorbell brought them crashing back to reality as he moved off of her getting up pulling on some clothes and walked downstairs. He opened it seeing the delivery guy, paying him and taking the bag of food thanking him before closing the door and walking back up the stairs into Alyssa’s bedroom seeing her sitting there in her favorite beat up Suns tee-shirt and her purple and blue boy short underwear.

He smiled handing her the bag as he went down to the kitchen grabbing plates, napkins, forks and two glasses of water placing them on a tray and carried them up to her bedroom. He walked in seeing her already devouring her favorite chicken fried rice with chopsticks. He sat down grabbing the carton with sweet and sour chicken. She offered him a pair of chopsticks. “You know I cannot figure out how to work those damn things, I’d rather use a fork.” As he chowed down on the chicken.

After they had finished she handed him his fortune cookie. He cracked his open reading aloud, “There is a time and place for everything...in bed.” He said laughing. “What does yours say?” He asked as Alyssa looked at hers.

“All your questions will soon be answered....in bed.” They busted out laughing at the fortune.

After they regained their composure he said looking up at the ceiling, “You know a mirror would go perfect right there.”

“What?” She asked.

“Well I was thinking that if you do say yes that you could move into my room and this room could be our sort of safe room.”

“Safe room?”

“Ok, a safe room, or space where we can talk without fear of embarrassment or judgment or anything like that. A place where we can really open up to each other verbally and...”

“And?”

“Physically, I know it’s crazy but we could keep your room as our...”

“Fantasy room?” Alyssa finished forking an eyebrow.

He shot her a look, “Maybe I don’t know, just have this be our place where we talk, and do whatever.”

Alyssa looked around the room an idea forming, “Well ok this is if I say yes to giving us a shot right?” He nodded. “Well we could make it look like Kathryn’s room from Cruel Intentions. The walls only need to be painted dark blue, then build the bed into the wall with the drawers and curtains.” She paused getting up walking around the room while his eyes followed her. “We could put dark colored couches against the walls, move the desk into your office. Putting the bed into the wall will definitely open the room up, that and the storage space that we never use could fit the bed perfectly sideways so we could knock out the wall and cover the door up and use that.” She finished her eyes coming to rest on his face and his amused expression. “What?” She asked walking over to him standing in between his legs placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Nothing I’m just glad that you are actually thinking about giving us a chance.” He stated smiling a little.

She rolled her eyes, “You mentioned changing the room only to get information out of me huh?” She asked.

He sighed, “Well not at first but yeah it kinda worked out that way.” He stated smiling sheepishly.

Alyssa tried to look offended but her resolve quickly disappeared in favor of a smile, “Well I haven’t made any decisions yet. I’m going to fully utilize the two weeks or so that we’ll be apart. True it’s going to suck not waking up with you but it’ll give me time to think about us or well the possibility of us.” Alyssa replied flopping down on the bed next to him.

He took her hand into his lacing their fingers as she laid her head on his shoulder, “I hope there is an ‘us’.” Nick whispered lowly.

“Why? Why do you love me?” Alyssa asked wanting to know.

Nick sighed and unconsciously squeezed her hand, “Because I feel better when I’m with you. I feel smarter, stronger, happier and that’s just being near you and I love that you can make me feel like I’m better than I am.”

Alyssa looked at him, “Have I ever told you that you mean a lot to me?” He looked up at her his eyes searching hers. “You saved my life, brought me out of the worst moments in my life. You made me laugh and smile when I thought that the world wasn’t worth living in. I owe you so much, and yet you keep giving. That’s why I tell you that I don’t want anything. Because I already have so much.”

He smiled weakly at her, “I just feel like I can never do enough though. You have always been there for me. And I can’t imagine my life without you in it in one way or another.” She stared at him then pulled him into a teasing kiss.

The next afternoon...

“Carter stop pacing you’re making everyone jumpy.” AJ stated rather bluntly.

Nick shot him a look as he continued to pace about the dance studio during their lunch break. “Nick come on what’s up man you look nervous as all hell.” Kevin asked concerned.

He stopped a moment looking at his four best friends sitting on the floor and sat down, “Alyssa has her thesis defense today she said she’d stop by when she was done which should have been about an hour ago.”

“And exactly why are you worried?” Brian asked.

Nick sighed and replied, “Because this damn thesis has been her life for the past 6 months and I want her to pass it so she can graduate in December. Seriously do you guys know how hard it was for her to get this far in only 2 and a half years? Most people it takes them 5-7 years just to finish their bachelors.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask how in the hell she could pull it off.”

Nick smiled a little, “She’s one determined woman that’s for sure. She’s always been in advanced classes she’s just a really fast learner and normal classes kind of held her back. Lissa took advanced classes for three years of high school so that she’d have most of her general studies requirements done, like her sciences, English, and foreign languages. Then when college came around she enrolled early doing double summer courses and a double course load that fall and spring getting her bachelors by the end of spring. All internet classes while on tour with me mind you. After that she took summer classes, doubled up during the fall and spring again, then took it easy only taking the normal course load last summer and this semester. Basically all she has to do is pass this today, her finals in a month and she’s good to graduate. I have no idea how she kept her sanity and did soccer at the same time.”

Kevin smiled as he took a drink of his iced tea. “You are really proud of her huh?”

Nick blushed a bit, “Of course I am, considering all she’s been through, throwing herself into school helped her a lot though. It kept her focused.”

Alyssa walked into the studio just as Nick finished his statement. All the guys stood seeing her in a white button down shirt black vest and black pinstripe pants. “Hey guys.” She said not smiling.

Nick felt something was wrong, “How did your thesis defense go?” He asked tentatively expecting her to say something bad by the look on her face.

Keeping her face solemn she replied, “I passed.”

Immediately all the guys began giving their condolences then did a double take, “You passed?” Nick exclaimed.

A broad smile lit up Alyssa’s face, “Hell yeah I did!” She exclaimed as Nick gave her a hug.

“Congrats Ali, that’s really awesome.” Brian replied as Nick broke the hug.

AJ smiled, “I believe a celebration is in order!”

“Thanks guys. But I’ll have to decline on the celebration for now, at least until after nationals, finals, and well we’ll celebrate when I graduate in December. Anyways I better get going I have practice all day and then more practice later.”

Nick smiled, “I’ll walk you out to your car.” He said as they began to walk towards the door Alyssa and the guys exchanging farewells. Nick led her out to her car opening the door for her as she got in he leaned down and kissed her through the open window. “Just us tonight right?” He asked.

Alyssa smiled, “Of course I’ll be home about 7ish so order something ok?” She said before driving off.

That night...

Nick stared at his bed seeing all the clothes and things he wanted to take with him on the tour. True it was only two and a half weeks, two weeks in Asia and then a few days in Europe before coming home, he just wanted to be sure he didn’t forget anything which was a usual occurrence.

Meanwhile Alyssa trudged into the house near exhaustion with scrapes and a few bruises all over her tired legs. She slowly climbed the stairs up to her bedroom dropping her gym bag on the floor before going into the bathroom turning on the hot water in the tub then pouring in her favorite bubble bath. She needed the relaxation to soothe her muscles.

Nick heard the water in the bathroom turn on and walked in seeing Alyssa at the mirror, eyes closed, taking her hair out of the French braid she’d had it in for practice. He smiled a little and snuck up behind her putting his arms around her waist. She opened her eyes and smiled at his reflection in the mirror as she swept her hair to the side undoing the braid. He kissed her exposed left shoulder then trailed up to just below her ear causing goosebumps to break out all over her skin.

She turned around in his arms and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Let me take a bath first I’m all grungy and bruised and scraped from practice.”

“Ok you get in and I’ll go pick up dinner for us.”

“No just order pizza. I’m in a pizza and beer mood today.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead before going down stairs to call for the pizza. Alyssa lit candles around the room turning down the lights, undressed and stepped into the now nearly full tub and eased herself into the hot water her muscles immediately giving under the moist heat. Alyssa leaned her head against the padded side of the tub allowing herself to fully relax and closed her eyes.

Nick walked back into the bathroom stopping at the doorway seeing the candles everywhere casting a soft glow to the room then to Alyssa relaxing in the tub he padded over to her sitting on the ledge next to the tub and smiled at her. Alyssa felt eyes on her as she opened hers seeing him there grinning at her. She half smiled back at him.

“You look all comfortable in there.” He said smirking at her.

“I’m so glad you talked me into moving in this place.” She stated catching him off guard.

“Why do you say that?” He asked a surprised glint in his eyes.

She chuckled at him, “Because if you didn’t we wouldn’t be as close as we are now, and I wouldn’t have the most amazing bath tub.” She said her tone half serious and half playful.

He laughed a little, “Almost makes me want to join you.” He said leaning in closer to her face.

“Then why don’t you?” She shot back as she moved closer to kiss him only to be interrupted a minute later when the doorbell rang.

“Damn I’ll be right back.” He said as he got up leaving the room.

“Ok.”

A minute later Alyssa drained the tub, grabbed one of the huge fluffy towels and got out, completely reenergized and wound up. She padded into her bedroom and into her closet drying off and throwing on a pair of low slung basketball shorts with the Phoenix Suns logo on the side, and a black tank top. She decided against underwear figuring that they’d be in bed at some point.

Down in the kitchen, Nick put the pizza on the counter going to the fridge pulling out two bottles of Corona, then pulling out a couple of plates from the cupboard. Alyssa came bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen, taking Nick by surprise by jumping into his arms wrapping her legs around his waist.

“Woah.” He said staring straight into her eyes.

“Sorry, just a little wound up tonight.”

“I’ll say...” He began as she pulled him into a deep teasing kiss. He pulled away and set her down then wrapped his arms around her waist. “I thought you were tired from practice.”

She smiled, “I was until I took a bath and well I’m awake now. Besides you’re leaving tomorrow.”

“I wish you were going with me.” He stated running his hands up and down her back.

Alyssa sighed, “I know but you’ll be home before you know it. I wish I could go but I have nationals and school and you know that comes first.”

He rolled his eyes at her. “Yeah, yeah. But after December I’m dragging you everywhere.”

“That is if I can’t find a job.” Alyssa added.

Nick sighed and gave her a look, “Still going to get a job after school.”

“And you expect me not to? Nick I thought we went over this. I’m not going to live off of your money once school is over.” She paused softening her tone not wanting to fight the night before he left. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate everything that you’ve done for me. It’s just I need to be able to support myself and if you and I are ever going to work romantically or whatever I need to do this.” Alyssa explained.

He stared at her his resolve to be obstinate and stubborn thinning quickly, “I just want you with me….I can’t bear the thought…of…losing you again.” He stated lowly.

Alyssa stared at him strangely. “Lose me again what are you talking about?” She asked.

Nick met her gaze seeing a full range of emotions in her eyes. “Remember what I told you about the night you spent in the hospital?”

“Yeah that you realized that you loved me.”

He sighed, nodded, then continued. “I came to that conclusion that night because I thought I lost you. The doctors had given you a slim chance of surviving the night…” He paused his voice wavering, “The thought of living without you in my life freaked the hell out of me. I remember just looking at you unconscious all the machines beeping away silently hoping that you’d make it so that I could tell you someday that I love you.”

She sat in silence for a minute then spoke up, “I never knew you cared so much.”

He chuckled a little, “It’s funny you know, how we ended up here. I know one thing for sure and that’s how I feel about you.”

Alyssa looked at him a moment then smiled. “Then why don’t you show me.”

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Lori and Kellie walked up the driveway and up to the front door as Alyssa opened the door with a depressing look on her face. Both girls immediately felt concerned as they walked in the house noticing how empty it felt. “Honey what’s wrong?” Lori asked as they walked into the kitchen.

Alyssa sighed. “He’s been gone an hour and I miss him already.” She stated leaning against one of the cabinets only to move away a second later remembering what happened there the night before.

“Did you cry at the airport?” Kellie asked.

“No, I was ok there. When I got home it hit me that he wouldn’t be here tonight or tomorrow night…”

Lori got a sympathetic look on her face and replied, “How come you were ok at the airport?”

Alyssa half smiled a little, “Learned a trick.”

Kellie and Lori both gave her a weird look and asked, “What trick?”

“Stay...busy the night before.” She paused laughing a little, “And don’t talk about the fact that you won’t see em for a while when you’re at the airport.” Alyssa replied.

Meanwhile…

Nick sat at the terminal in LAX waiting for their flight to be called up. All the guys steered clear of him seeing the pissed off expression when AJ had tried to cheer him up. He was sulking and he didn’t care how immature he was being.

Kristin plopped down next to him and nudged his shoulder getting no response. “Man if you miss her that much call her.”

Nick looked up at her and smiled a little, “No it’s not that it’s just…”

Kristin smiled a little, “Just what? You can tell me and you know those four won’t hear about it.”

He looked up smiling at her a little more. Kristin had always been cool like that. Ever since he was a teenager, if he had a problem and didn’t feel comfortable talking to the guys about it he could always come to her. Especially when the subject was about women. “Alright, I told Alyssa that I love her.”

“And did she say it back?”

“No, she kind of freaked out in a way.” He replied.

Kristin’s expression softened, “Seriously?”

“Well she has this fear of losing people that she loves, so she doesn’t say it. Even to her family it’s always ‘yeah me too’ or something like that when they say ‘I love you’ to her.”

Kristin thought a moment formulating a plan, “Do you want me to check in on her while you’re gone?”

He looked up meeting her concerned eyes, “Thought you were going to New York?”

She smiled, “Yeah but I’ll be back in LA tomorrow. If you want I could go stay with her until you get back.”

Nick smiled a little, “Thanks Kris I owe you one.”

“Nah just don’t annoy Kev too much and we’ll call it even.” She replied smiling at him.

The next day back in LA…

Alyssa stared blankly at the television bored out of her mind. She was tired. Tired of school, tired of practice, tired of everything. Except him. Lori walked in sitting Indian style on the floor seeing the television had been flipped to Cartoon Network as some old Looney Tunes episode came on.

“Hey Lissa it’s Looney Tunes you’re favorite.” Lori said trying to get a reaction out of her zombified best friend.

“Don’t call me that.” Alyssa said bluntly.

Lori looked at her a second and then asked, “Why?” No response. Lori reached out touching Alyssa’s shoulder making her look up. “Why?” She asked again.

Alyssa sighed, “Because that’s how Nick says my name when he and I…” She trailed off.

“Honey you really still care about him huh?” Lori asked. Alyssa rolled her eyes and moved to sit perpendicular to Lori on the floor putting her head in her hands mumbling something. “Wait say that again I couldn’t understand you.”

With her head still covered she stated loudly, “I think I’m still in love with him.”

Lori sat there shocked a second, “Alyssa look at me.”

Alyssa looked up her eyes bloodshot from staring too long at the television. “What?” She asked.

“Are you saying that you love him?”

Alyssa looked at Lori. “No...”She paused sarcastically, “Of course I am dork!”

“Honey you need to tell him.”

Alyssa’s eyes began to tear up a bit as she spoke, “I can’t, I can’t tell him. If I do I’ll lose him.”

Lori pulled her friend into a hug, “You aren’t going to lose him. He loves you.”

“So did Collin.”

Lori rolled her eyes, “You were never meant to be with him. You dated Collin to get your mind off of Nick remember.”

“I still fell for him.”

“Yeah honey I know but you can’t tell me that all the time you were with Collin that you weren’t thinking about Nick.”

Alyssa got a guilty look on her face, “I couldn’t help that.”

“But maybe you didn’t love Collin as much as you think. Maybe it was just you projecting your feelings for Nick onto him because Nick was too blind to see how perfect you are together.” Lori explained.

Alyssa’s head shot up, “I have an idea.”

“What?” Lori asked as Alyssa got up grabbing the phone dialing an all too familiar number.

When the other person picked up the phone Alyssa stated, “Hey Clark, it’s Ali. I need a huge favor.”

That night…

Nick trudged into the hotel seeing the sun shining brightly in his room. “Fucking 22 hour flight.” He walked over closing the blinds it was night to him it should be dark not so ungodly bright. He flopped on to the bed pulling the phone from the night stand to his right. Dialing home he hesitated, maybe she was sleeping, maybe she was out. He decided to call and leave a message but was startled to hear someone pick up the phone, a male voice. A pang of jealousy shot through him before he spoke, “Is Alyssa there?”

“Yeah hang on a minute” The voice stated handing Alyssa the phone.

“Hello?”

“What the hell is going on? I leave for a day...”

Alyssa interrupted him, “Nick calm down, it’s just Clark.”

He sighed already calming down, “Damn I didn’t recognize his voice.”

She laughed, “You weren’t meant to, we didn’t recognize the number on the caller id so Clark decided to answer it in case it was a stalker or something you know?” Alyssa explained.

“Oh, so who is all over there?” He asked hearing voices in the background.

“Kel, Lori, Clark, and Kristin. Poor Clark isn’t handling the girl talk very well.”

Nick laughed recalling having been in situations like that, the odd man out...literally. “Tell him to listen he just might learn something about women.”

“What if I want to talk?” Alyssa asked giggling slightly as she walked into his office closing the door locking it.

“What would you say?”

She sighed relaxed into the over sized leather office chair. “Hmm maybe that I’m not as innocent as he’d like to think I am.”

He arched an eyebrow smiling just a bit. “Where are you?”

“Your office, I locked myself in here so I would be left alone.”

Nick sighed wishing he was there, “God I wish I was there.”

She licked her lips her mind forming an idea, “So why don’t you tell me?” She stated her voice low and seductive.

A few days later in China...

Nick sat on in the green room wishing this interview would get over with. He kept checking his sidekick every couple of seconds looking at the clock on it when he was nudged by Kevin. “What?” He said lowly looking up.

“He asked you a question.” Kevin stated sternly wondering where Nick’s mind was lately.

“Oh sorry can you repeat that?” He said as politely as he could.

“So what’s going on with your love life?”

He sighed, damn was the media ever going to stop? “Nothing really, I’m just enjoying being single right now, and focusing on the group and hanging out with my friends.” He lied. He wanted to just jump up and scream out that he was in love that he didn’t care who knew. But that wasn’t an option at the moment especially until he gets an answer out of Alyssa.

After the interview the guys were getting ready for the show. Nick slipped off his shirt trying to get changed. “Damn boy who tore you up?” Howie asked.

“What?” He asked.

All the other guys looked at him noticing the same bite mark on the back of his neck, scratches on his back. It was healing still even after a few days they still showed, just beginning to fade...clear evidence of rough sex. “You have scratches and a bite mark on your back.”

Nick got a worried look on his face, ‘Shit’ he thought. He knew that night that she was going to leave marks but did he care, hell no. It felt too good to complain, that and he’d left some pretty impressive marks on her himself.

“Well are you going to explain this or are we just going to have to assume that you hooked up with a dominatrix?” AJ asked laughing a little.

Nick laughed, if they only knew he told himself, “The scratches are from me going over board with a back scratcher.”

“And the bite mark?”

“Alyssa’s fault.” The statement flew from his mouth before he could stop it.

“Well, well, well I think you’re not telling us something.” Brian asked a little surprised.

Nick rolled his eyes now having finished getting ready, “It’s totally not like that.” He lied again, he hated doing that. The guys all now had amused looks on their faces as they waited for an explanation. “I stole the remote from her and ended up wrestling for it on the floor.” Yeah right, wrestling for the remote he wanted to laugh. Although wrestling wasn’t too far off from what they were doing.

“That doesn’t explain how it got on the back of your neck.” Kevin shot back

“Alright, she pinned me ok. And when I wouldn’t give up she bit me because I made the mistake of telling her once that it drives me crazy.”

“Man if I were you I would have had her right there.” AJ stated confidently.

Nick glared at him a little, “Well we aren’t like that, it’s kind of weird you know. We’re close friends but we don’t act like that, we tease the hell out of each other though.” ‘In more ways than one.’ He thought smiling to himself.

“Tease each other?”

He had to laugh, “Verbally, and well I can’t say that I don’t like seeing her walk around in her underwear.”

“She walks around in her underwear?!”

He laughed harder, “Only when she’s getting changed or just done in the shower. Which reminds me of when she first moved in.”

“Why?” Brian asked completely entertained by this story.

“Because it’s her most embarrassing moment.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, “And that would be what exactly.”

“I caught her getting out of the shower...without a towel on.”

“Damn that must have been hot.”

Nick sat down, “I was half awake and the door wasn’t locked. After she got a towel on which was pretty quick too, she screamed at me.”

“Well I would have too.” Leighanne said finally speaking up sitting comfortably across the room holding Baylee.

“You stared at her.”

Nick rolled his eyes at them, “I’m a guy, I’m half awake and I walk into my bathroom and see that...” He paused immediately picturing it clearly in his mind. “Of course I’m going to stare. She didn’t talk to me for three days though, completely avoided me and when she and I were even around each other she was fully clothed, long sleeves and everything.”

“Damn that’s pretty funny.” Kevin said as his and Nick’s cell phone went off at the same time.

Kevin smiled into the phone walking out of the room obviously talking to Kristin as Nick answered his. “Hello?”

“Hey, I have the best news!” Alyssa nearly shouted into the phone.

He laughed seeing the rest of the guys getting up and leaving the room to go stretch before the show. After they left he replied, “Would this news include me?” He knew he shouldn’t hope for an answer yet but hell he didn’t care.

“Yes.” She stated knowing where he was trying to get this to go, knowing he’d be floored with an answer he wouldn’t quite expect.

He smiled unconsciously licking his lips, “And?”

“And well, I have a surprise for you when you come home, and you should be getting something from me very soon.”

“What is it?”

She sighed, “A video tape...”

“Of?”

“Me...” She paused a second, “And the rest of the team.”

“What?”

“I tivoed the championship game you weirdo, I sent Aaron to give it to you the copy I made since you don’t exactly have an address there.”

“Oh, damn I was thinking a different type of tape here.” He stated shifting in his seat.

She laughed a little, “No also at the end of the game tape is stuff that Kristin taped while I was doing normal stuff.”

“Like?”

“Going to class, cooking, the girls locker room...” She trailed off.

“The girls locker room?”

“Yeah we’re all covered....mostly.”

He had to laugh, “So you’re sending me my own personal glory hole?”

She cracked up at his reference. “Sort of at least we don’t have the scary gym teacher.”

“That’d be gross. By the way we almost got caught.” He stated.

She gasped, “What do you mean by that?”

“The guys saw my back and my neck.” Nick said as she giggled. “Why the hell are you giggling?”

She regained her composure and replied. “It’s just funny, how’d you get out of it?”

“Told them that the bite mark was from us wrestling for the remote, and the scratches were from a back scratcher.”

Alyssa cracked up, “Wrestling huh? Anyways you left worse marks on me. I have bite marks everywhere not to mention that I practically had two handprints on me one on each hip from the death grip you had on my hips.”

“That’s your fault for looking at me like that. Besides you didn’t complain.”

She thought a moment, “Well it’s not my fault you have a thing for mirrors. Anyways…is it bad that I like it when were that way with each other?”

He knew what she was saying but had to make her say it anyways, “What way?”

“Being rough with each other, biting, scratching.”

“So are you saying you like it rough?” He asked smiling to himself.

She blushed, “...Yeah...”

“So do I. I mean don’t get me wrong slow is good with us but yeah I like it too. Also its pretty fucking hot seeing you like that, it’s almost as if you’re a different person.”

She sat there a little shocked at the conversation she was having, “I’m glad you like it.”

“I do. Anyways how was the tournament?”

“Went to finals...”

“Did you win?”

She laughed, “You’ll have to watch the tape and see. Anyways I got two new tattoos.”

“You did huh?” He asked.

“Yeah. I’m pretty fucking proud of them.”

He laughed a little. “Where are they?”

“One’s on my inner left wrist, and...”

“And the other?”

She smiled into the phone, “You’ll just have to find the other one.”

A week later....

Alyssa flopped down on the floor of living room marveling what they’d done over the past week and a half. “Clark I really have to hand it to you.”

Clark smiled at his little sister, “It was your idea I just conceptualized it.” He stated matter-of-factly.

Alyssa smiled, “Nick and I both picked out the colors when I first moved in, just never got around to actually doing it.”

“Well it looks fucking amazing, he’s going to love it.” Lori said sitting down next to Clark on the couch.

“So when does he come back?” Clark asked.

Alyssa sighed still looking around the room, “Tommorrow, thank God.”

Lori smirked at her comment. “Why thank God?” Clark asked.

Alyssa quickly responded, “Because I can kick you jack asses out of here and just hang with my best friend.”

“Hey!” Lori exclaimed trying to look offended.

Alyssa laughed at her, “What he is my best friend Lorelei.”

“Oh God don’t say that name.” Lori stated making a gagging noise at the sound of her full name.

Kristin walked in the room laughing at the conversation. “You guys are nuts I swear.” She stated smiling.

Alyssa laughed at her, “Well at least Kevin will be back tomorrow.”

Kristin smiled, “Yeah. It’s funny I have never gotten used to him being away after all these years.”

“Yeah it’s the same with me, at least when he was on his solo tour I could go with him and hang out and actually get paid for it. But when I was in high school it was an email or a phone call once a month.”

“Didn’t he call like every day though?” Lori asked.

“Yeah after I nearly...” Alyssa trailed off knowing they knew what she meant.

Late that night…

“Hello?” Alyssa said picking up the phone after the third ring, a little out of breath from running up the stairs. The giant bruise on her hamstring now completely faded but still hurt when she tried to run.

“Where you lost?” He asked smiling through the phone.

She smiled at the sound of his voice, “No had to run up the fucking stairs and my leg still hurts even though the bruise faded.”

He cringed remembering seeing it on the video tape he got from her. “Yeah I saw that in the video.”

“Nasty huh?”

“Yeah, but I’m so happy you guys won.”

Alyssa sighed, “Damn lucky too, if Kellie hadn’t made that shot… Anyways where are you?”

“On the plane.”

“What?” Alyssa asked.

“On the plane back home it’s Wednesday in Italy so we’re already on our way home. It should be about 6 AM in LA when we land.”

“Yeah Kris and I are going to be there.”

“I’m glad you two are becoming close.” He said chuckling a little.

Alyssa laughed with him, “She’s totally cool, what’s really weird is she says I’m exactly like Kevin.”

Nick thought a moment realizing how right Kristin was, “Holy shit you are.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah and come to think of it it’s kind of disturbing considering…” He trailed off cringing for a second.

Alyssa laughed, “Well obviously that’s probably why you and Kevin clashed for so many years.”

“And exactly why is that?”

She smiled, “Because you knew that you two could get along and just didn’t want to admit that someone older than you could be cool.”

He laughed, “Damn never thought about it that way. Anyways get some sleep I’m going to try to sleep on the plane so I won’t be too jet lagged when I see you.”

“And why may I ask is that?”

He sighed looking to his right seeing Brian and Howie out cold and Kevin reading across the aisle. He lowered his voice a little, “Because I’m not going to want to sleep when I see you.”

She unconsciously shivered from that statement, “Well you better have extra energy on reserve then because I’m going to wear your ass out.”

He chuckled a little, “Damn, anyways I love you.”

She smiled, “I know, get some sleep ok?”

“Alright bye Lissa.” He said as they hung up. He leaned his head back against the head rest thinking a moment before turning towards the window to at least try to get some sleep.

The next morning…

Nick and Kevin walked outside the bright California sun already showing in the early hour. Nick smiled seeing Alyssa leaning against her car talking with Kristin both of them smiling and laughing. His eyes roamed up her bare legs past her jean skirt and black camisole tank top as she pulled part of her hair behind her ear. Alyssa felt eyes on her and turned her head seeing Nick and Kevin walking towards them. Her smile got bigger and brighter as he came to stand in front of her dropping his bags and pulling her into a hug. “I missed you.” He whispered.

Kevin laughed a little pulling his wife into a hug kissing her forehead, “Let’s go home.” She replied to his gesture. They broke away and Kristin gave Alyssa a quick hug promising she’d call later in the week as they walked away.

Alyssa turned her attention back to Nick noticing that the blonde in his hair had grown back, “Come on let’s get out of here.” She said popping the trunk as they put his two bags in the trunk. She got in the car as he walked around sliding into the passenger’s seat. She smiled at him and drove off. On the way she moved one hand from the steering wheel to the parking brake resting it there. Nick took the opportunity and took her hand in his lacing their fingers. Alyssa shot him a quick glance smiling at him only to arrive home soon after. Nick sighed as they walked into the house from the garage leaving his bags at the door. “So do you want to unpack, then eat, eat then unpack, unpack while we eat, or what?” She asked as he just stared at her.

He closed the distance between them his arms slipping around her waist pulling her close. He leaned down his tongue tracing and imaginary line between her shoulder and right behind her ear. She shivered from the touch and pulled him into the kitchen pulling away from him only to pull her shirt over her head. He smirked at her and pulled off his own shirt and pulled her to him kissing her taking the time to explore her mouth. She pulled away breathlessly and reached for his jeans undoing the button and the zipper then sliding her hand underneath his boxers as he moaned pulling her down on to the floor.

Before they knew it they collapsed on the cool tile lying next to each other completely out of breath. He laughed a little bit and she gave him a strange look as if to say ‘what the hell?’ He read her expression answering her, “We barely made it in the house.”

She looked around noticing they were in the kitchen and laughed sitting up pulling on his shirt that was lying on the counter just above them. “Couldn’t help it.”

He stood pulling on his jeans having no clue where she threw his boxers. She sat and stared at him a moment before he motioned for her to stand helping her up. He calmly pulled her to him his jaw resting against her forehead. He smiled at feeling her arms around his waist. “I love you Lissa.”

She looked up at him and smiled silently just staring at him then pulled away. He looked at her strangely as she went to the laundry room changing into a pair of basketball shorts and a light blue spaghetti strap tank top. Alyssa walked back handing him his shirt letting him slip it on; then taking his hand in hers and led him up the stairs and stopped at her door. She turned to him and began, “I was going to show you the rest of the house first, but that can wait until later…” She paused trying to read his expression. “Close your eyes.” She said softly.

“What?” He asked completely confused.

“Do you trust me?” She asked.

He sighed, “Yes.”

She smiled, “Then close ‘em and don’t open them or peek out or anything until I say so ok?”

Nick did as he was told completely amused and still slightly confused by the whole situation. Alyssa waved her hand in front of his face before smiling opening her door walking backwards leading him into the middle of the room and stopping before going to shut the door behind them. Alyssa stood behind him and said, “Ok open ‘em.”

He opened his eyes adjusting to the room seeing the dark blue walls, the couches lining two of the walls with tons of pillows everywhere. He turned his eyes coming to rest on the bed that had moved. He examined every inch seeing candles in every corner, a bookcase, a stereo, he then moved again seeing the bed and how it had been moved back to where up to the headboard had been built into the wall, and then noticed that there was a small over hang that behind it had a lamp that gave it an almost ethereal glow. Nick turned to see Alyssa staring at him reading his reaction. She knew he’d love this, as much if not more than what she had to tell him.

He watched as she walked up slowly to him smiling a little, “You like it?”

He looked around a little more noticing that the night stands were now a darker stained wood than before he left. “Hell yeah I like it.”

“Good because I hope you’re ready for this.”

He looked down at her trying to get a read on what she was saying, “Ready for what?” He asked tentatively.

Alyssa smiled at him, “Us…me...”

A glimmer of recognition and hope flashed across his face as he looked at her. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

She smiled even larger, “I’ve decided that I’m insane.”

“Ok…why?” He said hoping she would get to the point and fast as he moved to sit on the nearest couch pulling her with him.

“Because the entire time you were gone, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I know what you mean.” He said trying to pull her into a kiss he didn’t need to hear anymore he knew what she was trying to say.

Alyssa put a hand on his chest feeling his heart race and smiled, “I’m not finished.” Nick backed away motioning for her to continue. Alyssa smiled again and pulled his hand in hers playing with his fingers. Looking down she began, “I thought a lot about you, and me while you were gone and while I’m unsure of how I feel about you I know that I care about you…” She paused looking at him hanging on her every word. “And it’s because I care that I think…” She paused again, “I know that we have something here that’s undeniable.”

He waited a moment seeing her trying to gather her thoughts and decided to ask, “So what do you think we should do?”

She looked up at him again seeing him concerned all the love and hope in his eyes and grinned, “I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I think we should give it a shot.”

He smiled, “Give what a shot?” He knew what she was saying he wanted to make sure she did too.

She rolled her eyes, “Us, me and you, the whole relationship thing, that’s what.” His smile grew larger as he pulled her into a kiss pulling away a minute later. “But…”

His face fell releasing her from his grasp as she stood up, “I should have known there was a ‘but’ in there somewhere.” He looked at her seeing her looking back at him. “Go on…” He stated not entirely sure he wanted to hear the rest of this.

Alyssa sighed she knew this was going to be the hard part. “I don’t want the guys to know.”

“What?!?!” He exclaimed. “Why not?”

Alyssa tried to keep her cool not wanting to fight but would if she had to. “Because if they find out that we’re together, they’ll start asking questions that I’m not ready to answer.”

“What do you mean you aren’t ready to answer? For Christ's sake I love you and you’re telling me we can’t tell anyone? What about Lori, and Kellie they get to know but my friends, my family doesn’t?!” He was angry, disappointed maybe, couldn’t she see that he wanted to tell everyone? She saw the anger flash in his eyes knowing she’d caused it.

“My family doesn’t know either Nickolas. I’m not ready to answer questions that you know they’ll ask, especially from my family, the guys, the fans… I’ve seen what the fans do when you have a girlfriend and I’m sorry I don’t want that. You have no idea how hard it is for me to tell you I want to be with you and not want to tell people ok?”

Nick put his head in his hands trying to calm himself down before he said something he regretted. She watched him fully aware that he was pissed off but that’s all she could offer him at the moment. He stood a frustrated look on his face as he went to leave the room. He needed to get out needed to calm down. Alyssa followed him down the stairs but he stopped her on the last step. “I’m gonna go clear my head for awhile ok?”

“You’re leaving?” She asked not even attempting to hide the disappointment in her voice. She knew he wouldn’t like not being able to tell the guys but she felt that it had to be that way at least until she was ready to tell him how she really felt and at the present moment she wasn’t.

He turned seeing her look at him shocked at the blank expression on his face. “I just need to think I’ll be back in a little while.” He stated numbly giving her a kiss on the cheek grabbing his keys and walking out to his car.

Alyssa sank down on the steps putting her head in her hands. This whole situation had definitely not gone the way she’d hoped it would.

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight: Friendly Advice

Nick pulled up to the condo seeing Lori’s car in it’s normal space. He walked up the steps still semi-fuming from Alyssa’s stipulation. He shook his head before knocking on the door. A minute later the door swung open, “Nick what the hell are you doing here?” Clark asked.

He got a surprised look on his face seeing Clark in a pair of pajama pants, “The same could be said about you…Where’s Lori?”

Clark looked at his friend seeing his eyes were bloodshot with a lost expression on his face. “She’s making breakfast, come on in.” He stated holding the door open for him.

Nick walked in as Lori came in from the kitchen wearing Clark’s shirt, “Who is it?...” She trailed off seeing Nick stand there, “Uh oh what happened?” She asked knowing it had to do with Alyssa on some level.

Nick glanced between Clark and Lori, “Am I interrupting something?”

“No Clark was just leaving to get butter at the store…” Lori stated quickly going to her bedroom changing into shorts and a tee-shirt coming back out handing Clark his shirt. Clark got the hint and kissed her on the cheek before leaving.

Nick sat down on the couch as Lori joined him feeling concerned. “I cannot fucking believe her.”

“Why? I thought you’d be jumping for joy at getting a chance with her.” Lori asked.

He looked at her, “I’m completely happy about that don’t get me wrong but she had a stipulation.”

Lori rolled her eyes knowing that it was totally like Alyssa to fuck things up by over thinking things. “What was it?”

He sighed, “She doesn’t want the guys to know, or our families, or basically anybody that doesn’t know about the stupid pact we made. I was so fucking pissed…I mean I love her I don’t want to keep that a secret.”

Lori put her hand on his shoulder, “You know why she said that right?”

“She said that she isn’t ready to answer questions that everyone will ask if we tell them.”

Lori smiled a little, “That’s not the whole reason.”

Nick looked up at her, normally he could read Alyssa like a book but at the moment he was completely confused. “What is the whole reason then?” He asked.

“She’s in love with you and it’s freaking her out.”

“What?”

Lori laughed at him, “That girl has been in love with you from day one. Ever since she came back after meeting you that summer she was all starry-eyed. She’s afraid you’re going to leave her if she tells you.”

“I’d never do that…not to her.”

“Umm…it’s kind of what you do though.”

“What?”

Lori sighed, “Everytime you had a girlfriend I saw how hurt she got. Every time you’d leave for a tour she got depressed.”

“Then why can’t she tell me?”

“You know the answer to that already…it’s the same reason why she never says the l-word to anyone. She’s afraid of loss. She loves you but she’s never gonna say it….unless.”

His head shot up, “Unless what?” He asked know he needed all the help he could get.

Lori smiled, “Make her see that saying it won’t make you leave, that no one is going to take you away from her. The night Collin died the last thing she said to him was ‘I love you’ and ever since then she hasn’t said it to anyone, not even her family.”

“So what do I do? Do I just wait around until she realizes that she needs to say it?”

“Be there for her like you’ve never been before. You two have this insane connection that not a lot of people see in their lifetimes. I’ve seen the way you two act around each other, look at one another… you’ve got something rare and you both know it. You welcome it and she’s afraid of it.”

“I don’t deserve her you know that?”

“Yeah you do. And its that line of thinking that’s the reason why she is so freaked out. She’s afraid that whatever higher power in this world there is will see that she doesn’t deserve you and will take you away from her. You have to show her that you aren’t going away. You can’t tell me that you haven’t had a thought then she says exactly what you’re thinking.”

“True…”

“Her parents have that connection, and you know that she idolizes her parents’ relationship.”

He thought a moment, “So basically just show her that we’re like her parents?”

“Basically, I love Ali she’s my best friend and I’ve known her as long as I’ve known Clark which is well, forever. You need to connect with her on a whole different level. You two have been just friends for so long and hiding how you feel that you need to be completely open with it….just not around the guys…until she sees.”

He processed everything knowing Lori was right, “But what if she never does?”

“She will and if she doesn’t you two will always have the physical part of the relationship.” She paused trying to get him to smile.

He sighed again, “Ok this is going to sound like I’m completely whipped here but I wish for once it wouldn’t be like that…”

“Why?”

“When you’re in love you want to have it be romantic at least once in a while…. Instead it’s like she just walks up says or does something that most people would find completely obscene…I mean hell I love it when she does that its just for once I want her to let me…”

“Make love to her…” Lori added.

“As much as that makes me sound like a woman…yeah. I mean don’t get me wrong I love what she and I have just I want to add that.”

“I know what you mean sex is great alone but when its got emotion behind it it’s fucking unbelievable. Not to change the subject but I have this feeling that her life isn’t going to be easy especially if she goes with you on tour this spring.”

“Why?”

“Clark was telling me that he’s worried about their dad. He’s been sick lately and it’s freaking Clark and their mom out. But Jamie doesn’t want Alyssa to know there is anything wrong. You know the second she finds out that her dad is ill with anything that she’ll drop everything to go to him.”

Nick sighed he knew all too well. He loved that Alyssa was so close with her family, he hoped that he’d be that close with his one day. “I know… So what does he have?”

“Clark said he didn’t know but that whatever it is its getting worse.”

Nick loved Alyssa’s family they’d semi-adopted him when he first met them. That was how family was supposed to be, a close support system. “Damn…” He paused changing the subject, “So are you and Clark...”

Lori rolled her eyes smiling, “Possibly, hell we’ve been on and off for what ten years now?”

Nick smiled, “Clark’s a good guy, I’m just surprised that you two aren’t married yet.”

“Hmmm maybe someday.”

Nick smiled, “I think I’m gonna go back and talk to her now.”

“I think you should.” Lori said smirking as she walked him to his car. “Now don’t leave so many bite marks and hand prints all over her or people will get suspicious.”

His face flushed in embarrassment, “You totally know that was her fault.”

Lori laughed, “I know I gave her the idea for going in front of the mirror…”

Nick rolled his eyes, “I’ll see ya later Sam I am.” He said calling her by her nickname.

“My parents came up with the worst names huh? Anyways take care of her…”

He smiled “I will.” He stated pulling out of the space smiling as she ran back up the stairs to her condo.

A while later…

Alyssa jumped hearing the unmistakable sounds of his car pulling into the garage. She willed herself to stay put not wanting to look desperate when he walked in. She heard him coming into the living room seeing her on the couch her hands in her hair looking at the floor. “Liss?” He asked trying to get her to look up.

She looked up seeing him her heart immediately screaming at her to tell him, unfortunately her mind won out and she stared at him watching as he moved to sit next to her placing his hand on her knee. “Where did you go?” She asked breaking the silence.

“Lori’s needed her advice.”

“What she say?”

“That I’m an idiot, and need to take whatever I can get from you.” He lied, he knew she’d freak out if she knew what Lori had told him.

Her worried expression softened putting her hand on top of his. “I’m sorry…”

He stared at her then replied, “It’s ok, just promise me that when you know that you’ll say it.” He knew she was going to lie and say she would even though if Lori was right she already knew how she felt.

“I will when I’m ready to tell you…” She said trying to hint that she might know already.

He smiled thankful she hadn’t lied to him saying that she’d tell him when she was ready to instead of saying she didn’t know. It gave him a little hope that the wait might not be as long as he originally thought. “I’m sorry for leaving…If I hadn’t I would have said something that I would have regretted.” He paused looking around the room noticing the paint as he had with the rest of the house when he walked in. “By the way nice job on the house and your room.”

“My old room.” She corrected.

His eyes lit up at her statement, “So does that mean I get to wake up with you every morning.”

She smiled and nodded, “I figured that my room could be our kind of secret where no one is allowed in there but us.”

“And you wonder why I love you.” He stated smiling at her.

“Why don’t you show me…”

He thought he was hearing things, “What?”

She stood up smiling at him, “I’ve been thinking and don’t get me wrong I’m lovin’ all the things we’ve tried and want to try but well I think we need some romance don’t you?”

“Hell yeah…” He smiled standing up pulling her to him kissing her then grabbing her hand pulling her up the stairs.

That night…

Alyssa smiled as he kissed her neck as they relaxed together in his…well their bedroom. She played with his fingers as he trailed his kisses up and down creating an imaginary line between her shoulder and her ear. She was being spoiled and she didn’t care. Alyssa turned to face him holding the sheet against her as she did so making him laugh. “What?”

He smiled, “Lose the sheet.” He said grabbing at the material.

“Just being modest that’s all.”

He looked at her, “No need I’ve seen everything.”

She rolled her eyes at him his hands moved to her waist as she laid on her side propping her head up on her hand. He looked at her tattoo on her wrist immediately loving it and the other one he found. “What are you staring at?” She asked.

Not answering her he asked. “So what do the tattoos mean?”

She smiled at him, “This one is Japanese for loyalty and friendship, Lori and Kellie got the same as me.”

He moved his hand to her inner thigh “And this one?”

She rolled her eyes, “It’s a saying that my mom used to say.”

“And that would be?”

She sighed, “To be without love is to be half alive. It’s the rough Japanese translation.”

“Wow…”

“Only you, me and the tattoo artist knows that I have it.”

He laid there surprised at the seriousness of what it meant. “You realize how serious that means?”

“What the saying is true.”

“I know but that saying and putting it in a place where only I’d see it that’s pretty serious.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “I know it’s serious, and I’m serious about us which is why I got it.”

A week later...

“So why again are we having the meeting here?” Nick asked looking at the guys.

Kevin rolled his eyes, “Because we never come over and we decided that it’s your turn.”

“That and any excuse to catch a glimpse of Alyssa is good too.” AJ added smiling.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Back off.” He said warning him.

“Or what?”

“I’m not gonna threaten you but Ali is off limits.” Nick replied.

Brian got an amused look on his face, “May I ask why?”

Nick thought a moment, “Because she dated one of my friends before and it ruined mine and his friendship.”

“Oh right so it has nothing to do with the fact that you can’t have her and it kills you?” Howie shot back just as the front door opened and Alyssa, Lori and Kellie came walking back in sweaty and out of breath.

The girls walked into the sun room towards the kitchen seeing the guys. “Hey..” Alyssa stated going for the fridge.

Nick stared at her a second in her running shorts and sports bra as she chugged a water bottle. “Alyssa slow down on the water you’ll get a stomach cramp.” Lori chided.

Alyssa glared at her, “Yes mother, not like I’m not in pain already, damn.”

“You ok?” AJ asked as she sat on the tile floor resting her tired legs.

Alyssa nodded, “Yeah I’ll be fine just my legs hurt like hell and...”

“And what?”

“Being a girl sucks...” The three girls said in unison.

Nick laughed a little immediately getting a glare from the girls, “What it’s a little funny.”

Alyssa laid back on the cool tile trying to catch her breath still, “Yeah I’ll bet you think it’s funny. You try having your entire lower half of your body in pain.”

The guys laughed, “No not that you’re in pain, just that all three of you...”

“Three of a kind...” Lori began.

“...Birds of a feather...” Kellie continued.

“Now and forever...” Alyssa added causing the girls to laugh. Alyssa got up feeling a little better going into the laundry room grabbing some clothes and a towel. “I need a shower, I’ll go first and you girls fight over whose next.” Alyssa stated walking towards the stairs.

“What was that about?”

Lori smiled, “The movie Nightmare Before Christmas is our mutual favorite and Nick had said we’re exactly like the three kids who steal Santa and the saying is from the song they sing. So what are you five up to?” Lori asked.

Nick smiled a little coming out of his trance from watching Alyssa, “Meeting...what are you three doing today?”

“Shopping for our costumes for the Halloween bash, then girl talk and movies.”

“Halloween bash?” AJ asked a little amused.

Lori smiled, “Yeah big Alpha Delta Halloween bash. Carter you’re going to love the theme this year.”

He arched an eyebrow, “What is it?”

“Goths and Angels. Ali is going as a Goth, Kel’s an angel and I’m a half and half.”

“Yeah you should see what I came up with for her costume.”

Nick rolled his eyes, “Are you trying to kill me?” He asked going to the fridge grabbing the pitcher of water.

“Don’t blame me it’s Alyssa, she had to be a Goth.”

“That’s because she’s the most innocent out of the three of us.” Lori commented making Nick choke on his water. Lori laughed at his reaction, “Well we’ll leave you boys alone now.” Lori said pulling Kellie out of the room going up to Alyssa’s old room.

A few days later...

“Damn Ali those blue eyes of his are going to fall right out of his head once he sees you.” Kellie stated seeing Alyssa walk into the bedroom in her Goth costume which consisted of a navy blue Versace corset with dark blue leather pants that had various chains draped over her hips attached to the punk style belt. Her long hair she let go curly and loved how the layers made it look like she spent hours with a curling iron.

“What it’s not like I won’t fall over seeing him in all white.” Alyssa shot back sweeping a pale powder over her face, neck and chest before slipping on her chunky boots. “Besides you look pretty killer yourself.” Alyssa smirked looking at Kellie who was in a white baby doll dress complete with wings, her hair curled up in a clip with a tiara on top of her head.

“Michael hopefully will agree with you.” Kellie smiled back as they walked down the stairs.

Meanwhile Nick was down stairs with AJ, Howie, Kevin, Kristin, Michael and Lori. He stood going to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He came back laughing at a joke Lori had told. Hearing footsteps behind him he started to turn around stopping dead in his tracks his jaw dropped.

“Guys shut up.” Was all he could say when he saw Alyssa walk by him smirking at his reaction. Everyone immediately look up seeing Alyssa there standing a few feet from Nick. They looked like polar opposites of each other, her all dark and him dressed in a white button down shirt and a pair of white khakis that he never wore.

“Wow you look awesome hon!” Kristin remarked.

“Thanks K! By the way where is Brian and Leighanne?” She asked seeing that neither of them were present.

“Baylee’s got a cold.” Kevin replied.

“Oh no!” Alyssa stated concerned.

“Alyssa can I talk to you for a minute in the kitchen please?” He asked his eyes glued to her.

She looked at him strangely then recognizing the unmistakable look on his face before he walked away. She followed him pulling him past the kitchen and into the laundry room. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Are you trying to kill me?” He said his tone sounding a little more incredulous than he intended.

She smirked at him, “You’re just ticked because I’m dressed like this and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Your ass is mine when we come back tonight.”

“Maybe… the girls and I are having a ladies night join us if you dare.” She replied smiling before walking out and back to the living room a little extra sway in her hips just to tease him.

That night after the party...

Nick walked down the stairs after taking a shower hearing laughter erupt from the living room stopping as he listened to their conversation staying out of sight. “So come on Ali, we want more details...” Lori explained.

“If you wanna know more you gotta ask the right questions.” Alyssa said playfully. He smiled knowing she didn’t readily give up details to many people...except him.

“You’re sitting there with this big goofy smile on your face, come on he can’t be that good?” Kellie asked.

“You wouldn’t think so Kel...but he’s...” He heard her pause.

“He’s what?” Lori asked impatiently.

Alyssa sighed. “Perfect.” Now he was intrigued at what she had to say about him.

“What do you mean perfect?” Kellie asked becoming indignant.

Alyssa giggled, “I don’t know it’s just he knows exactly what to do to me and with me to get me off...fast. I don’t even have to tell him...I don’t know how he knows he just does.” He smiled bigger now after the considerable ego-boost definitely feeling better from all the teasing she did.

“Lori look at her she’s gone all starry-eyed!”

“Question is are you in love?” Lori asked, she’d seen Nick come down the stairs out of the corner of her eye...knew he was listening to their conversation and wanted to make him feel better about not being able to tell everyone about their relationship.

The room was silent a moment, “Well?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “I think so...wait...I know so. The way I feel is so completely new and different than what I’ve ever felt before. I am so deliriously happy right now and I know that’s because of him...that and hearing the L-word when I wake up in the morning is a definite plus.”

“Have you told him?” Kellie asked.

“No...”

“Why not, don’t you think he wants to hear it too?”

“You guys don’t understand it’s not easy. I want to tell him every time I see him but...”

“It freaks you out huh?” Lori asked.

Alyssa sighed lowering her voice, “Yeah...knowing how I feel about him I can’t lose him. Besides I’m so not ready to say it.”

Lori rolled her eyes, “Then say it to us.”

“What?”

“Say that you love him in those words.”

“Yeah Ali say it you’ll feel better once you do.” Kellie reassured.

“Alright, alright!” Alyssa nearly shouted then lowered her voice to just above a whisper, “I love him.” His heart stopped at hearing her say that, he knew that he shouldn’t be eavesdropping but he didn’t care. He just heard her say that she loves him. True it wasn’t directed at him and she didn’t even know he was listening but still he knew she felt the same now.

He regained his composure grabbing the portable phone and walked into the living room trying to be nonchalant about it but inside was completely happy about what he heard. “What you three hooligans talking about?” He said sitting next to Alyssa on the floor.

“Girl stuff...”Alyssa replied smiling at him.

Lori rolled her eyes at them, “So what do you want we’re hungry?” She said getting their attention.

Nick tossed her the phone never taking his eyes away from Alyssa’s, “Order whatever you want I’m buying.”

Lori laughed getting up then remembering she needed his credit card. “Nick, why don’t you join me in the kitchen, I need your card.” Lori suggested.

Reluctantly Nick got up walking into the kitchen the complete giddiness registering on his face. “Thank you...” He said pulling Lori into a hug.

“I saw you come down the stairs, I had to ask her. I knew it’d help you deal with being so secretive.” Lori said as she pulled away. “My question is are you happy?”

He smiled, “I’m on cloud fucking nine right now...hearing her just say that.”

Lori smiled back, “That and before you came down stairs we got more details out of her.”

“What did she say?”

“That she loves it when you two are rough but that she nearly keeled over when you said that you wanted to make love to her. She also said something about the back of her neck, it was hard to understand she was obviously thinking about whatever it was.”

“I bite her tattoo on her neck I did love her reaction.”

“Well whatever it is you’re doing to her, keep it up she obviously enjoys it...”

Back in the living room...

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy Lissa.”

“God I love it when he calls me that. The way he says it just as he’s about to...”

“OK! I DON’T WANNA KNOW!” Kellie exclaimed. “You’re killing me here.”

“What Michael can’t get it up?” Alyssa joked.

“No its not that its just he won’t experiment. It’s driving me crazy I tried to get on top, he flips me back over.”

Alyssa laughed, “I think Nick likes it when I’m on top, he gets this look when he watches me...its euphoric. But nothing compares to the look he gets when we’re in front of a mirror it’s like his own personal porn show.”

Kellie rolled her eyes, “See what I mean you’ve had sex what with one guy and you’re having better sex than me and I’m engaged!”

Alyssa thought a moment forming an idea. “Alright I’m going to tell you what you should do. This works for Nick if he’s not exactly in the mood when I am or if he’s distracted.”

“What?”

“Ok put on your best lingerie garters and stockings are optional and just walk up to him and tell him that you want to make him scream. Trust me if he isn’t a quivering mass of hormones by the time you’re done you better call an ambulance because he’s dead.”

“Damn Alyssa I never thought you’d do that.”

“Never thought I would either but he told me that he loves it when a girl is aggressive and tells him exactly what she wants. Considering his reaction I’m going to be doing that more often.”

Nick walked back into the room a moment later seeing Alyssa listening to Kellie and went and sat down behind her pulling her to recline against his chest. “Seriously Ali I had better sex when we were just dating.”

Nick rolled his eyes knowing they were talking about Michael, “Hon I dated him, though I never slept with him I know he’s a pretty creative guy. He might have just fallen into a routine and it’s up to you to change it.”

“Since when do you give sex advice.” Nick asked completely amused by what she had said.

“Since always just I know what I’m talking about now.” Alyssa replied looking up over her shoulder at him. He smiled and leaned down kissing her.

“Alright food will be here...whoa.” Lori said stopping dead in her tracks seeing Alyssa and Nick kissing.

Kellie fidgeted a little before clapping her hands getting their attention saying, “ALRIGHT YOU TWO CUT IT OUT!”

Alyssa broke the kiss laughing a little and then looked at Kellie. “What’s the problem Kel?” She asked innocently.

Kellie rolled her eyes, “Oh get a room...”

“Well technically we have two now.” Nick stated garnering a surprised look from both Lori and Kellie. He’d never been much for saying anything about his personal escapades preferring to listen and comment on Lori and Kellie’s.

“What is this? Nick’s actually going to say something about his own sex life?”

“And all this time we thought you were shy.” Kellie shot back.

He rolled his eyes, “What you three know I’m not shy, just everything I had before this was well kind of meaningless and less than stellar so it really wasn’t worth talking about.”

Alyssa’s eyes widened looking at him. “Not even Miss Internet Porn Star?” She asked.

He laughed, “Please she’s not as good as she’d like to think she is.”

Lori and Kellie cracked up laughing, “You’re serious right? Omigod that’s so fucking funny.” Lori managed to say.

“What she was too fucking skinny, and she’d always complain.”

“Complain why in the hell would anyone complain...?” Alyssa asked.

He smiled at her silently thanking her for the compliment, “All the things you enjoy so much she hated. She’d always be like ‘slow down’, or ‘not so hard’. I actually had to fake it one night” He replied mimicking her high pitched whining.

“Why the hell did you stay with her for 8 months then? And how in the hell can a guy fake it?” Alyssa asked.

“She was in Australia for most of the relationship, and she didn’t even notice that I faked it. Besides she was a warm body to sleep next to.”

“She probably didn’t notice because she’s so loose from all her whoring around that she can’t feel anything.” Lori added

Nick laughed, “All she ever cared about was getting off as soon as she did she would fall asleep on me.” Alyssa shifted a little against him not really comfortable talking about him having sex with someone else. He felt her tense up a little bit and whispered in her ear, “If I would have known what I have with you I wouldn’t have gone out with her in the first place.”

She relaxed a little bit against him reassuring herself that he only thought of her when they were tangled up. “What about Amanda?” Lori asked.

Alyssa shot her a glare and waited for him to say something. “Amanda was ok, kinda clueless at first. But once she opened up she got me to like a lot of things that I didn’t think I would.”

“Such as...”

“Mirrors, handcuffs, all that stuff and it just got bad when we started fighting a lot.”

Alyssa figured it was time to embarrass him a little, “Or like the time you moaned my name instead of hers.” She said smiling sweetly at him making the girls crack up even more.

His entire face flushed in embarrassment, “She was not supposed to tell you that.”

“Wait a second you said her name instead of Amanda’s?” Lori asked laughing.

He turned even redder, “What that day was the first time I’d ever seen Alyssa in a bikini and I couldn’t get it out of my mind.”

“The red one?”

“Yeah seeing you in that was like watching Phoebe Kates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” He answered recalling the moment still clear in his mind even after four years.

Alyssa laughed, “God I was 16.”

“I know, I’ll never forget when I saw you at the concert the year before you changed so much.”

“See I told you he liked that outfit.” Lori exclaimed remembering his reaction to seeing Alyssa in a short tight mini-skirt, boots, and a black top.

“Damn straight I did I just about ripped her clothes off. Needed a damn shower because of that.” He admitted causing Alyssa to blush.

“Speaking of quality time by yourself have you guys ever gotten caught?” Kellie asked.

“No not by Alyssa.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure...” Alyssa countered making him look at her in shock.

“When?”

“Once when I was 16, and then a few times on when I went on tour with you. The first time I walked in you didn’t even notice I closed the door pretty quick and went and took a ice cold shower.” Alyssa admitted.

“What about you Ali?” Kellie asked.

Alyssa smiled a little, “Never done it.”

“How is that possible?” Nick asked.

Alyssa laughed at him, “I never really felt the need to. Well yeah I wanted to a couple times but I figured I’d wait until I’d at least gotten some experience with someone before I tried anything on my own. Lori?”

“Clark walked in on me one time with my uh toy and decided to help me out.” Lori said blushing.

“My brother Clark?”

“Yeah it was the first time we ever had sex and man was it good.”

“Ok now I know how Leslie feels.” Alyssa said cringing.

“Leslie knows?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “No, but she and I used to talk about what we wanted in that department and I had a huge crush on you at the time.”

“When was this?”

“Christmas when I was 15.”

He looked at her surprised that she had thought about him like that long before they ever made the pact. “Damn I was like 18 or 19.”

“And with Amanda. So I kept my mouth shut.”

“That’s a first.” Lori shot back.

Alyssa immediately looked offended, “Hey I’m not the one who sleeps around missy.”

Lori rolled her eyes, “I’m not sleeping around anymore.” She admitted causing Kellie to put her hand on Lori’s forehead feeling for a fever.

“Well she doesn’t seem to have a fever...”

Alyssa laughed, “So who is he or she?”

“He, and it’s Clark. I think I caught monogamy from you three.”

Nick laughed, “I was wondering if you were going to tell them.”

Alyssa looked at Nick, “What!? You knew?”

“Only for like a week.”

“Damn, you and Clark back together man that’s insane.” Kellie replied.

“I know.”

Later that night...

Alyssa and Nick collapsed on the bed completely exhausted and out of breath. She lifted her head up looking at him smiling a little. “What?” He asked.

She rolled off of him pulling the sheets around them. “Nothing’” She replied as their bedroom door flung open and they looked to the door seeing Lori standing there.

“I realize you two are together now but geez think you two could keep the screaming and moaning to a minimum some people have to sleep.” Lori stated before closing the door and walking back to one of the guest rooms.

Once she left they both cracked up. “Damn we’re not as sneaky as we thought.” Alyssa snorted.

“Well if you weren’t so damn loud...” He shot back rolling to his side facing her.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “I didn’t see you trying to keep me quiet. Besides I can’t help that it just comes out.”

He smirked at her, “And that would have nothing to do with me right?”

“It has everything to do with you.” She countered grinning at him.

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine: Study Time…

“DAMN IT!!” Alyssa shrieked throwing her hands up in the air as she sat in what was now both her’s and Nick’s office. She stared at the text book in front of her along with her notes on her laptop on the other part of her ‘L’ shaped desk.

Hearing her yell Nick walked in smiling at the sight of her wearing a black tank top and a pair of his boxers sitting at her desk her head in her hands. He walked over to her and slipped behind her chair without her noticing that he was there. She jumped a little when he put his hands on her shoulders massaging them a little. “Can I help?”

“Unless you can understand how much of a pervert Shakespeare was then no.” She said sighing.

He pulled his chair up next to hers and sat down letting his hand roam over her back. “Sometimes it makes sense if you try to explain it out loud to someone who has no clue what you’re talking about.”

She looked at him shocked to see him wearing his glasses, which he rarely ever did since they were only for reading. “You’re wearing glasses again?”

He smirked a little, “I was reading.”

She laughed at him, “My god you can read!”

He rolled his eyes, “Contrary to popular opinion I’m not as much as an air-head as the tabloids make me out to be.”

“I know so what were you reading?” She asked silently thanking him for coming in and giving her a much needed distraction.

“Wuthering Heights….”

She got a shocked look on her face, “You actually read it?”

“Yeah it’s a pretty cool story. Besides it’s your favorite book so I thought I’d give it a chance.”

Alyssa smiled at him, “You just like it because it starts out like a ghost story.”

“True, but its definitely better than Jane Eyre god that book just would not end.”

She smiled bigger chuckling at him, “The authors are sisters you know.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah Charlotte and Emily Bronte they have another sister but she’s not as well known as they are. And their known as some of the greatest female writers of all time.”

He leaned over and kissed her, he always loved hearing her talk about books and how it made her face light up. He broke the kiss a few seconds later smiling to himself that her eyes were still closed. “Did I ever tell you how perfect you are?” He asked his eyes roaming over her features.

She opened her eyes looking at him and smiled blushing a little, “I’m not perfect.”

“To me you are.” He replied standing up and walking over to her bookcase looking for a book that he knew would help her with her studying. He smiled when he found it pulling the massive book out and placing it on her desk. “That should help you with trying to understand Shakespeare’s humor.” He replied. He’d always been amused by the book because it held a detailed description of every single dirty joke that Shakespeare had ever used.

Looking at the book Alyssa laughed knowing that when she’d bought it he’d get a kick out of seeing how the normal ‘stuffy plays’ as he called it were really just an excuse to be obscene. She stood up in front of him wrapping her arms around his neck pulling his head down for a kiss as he lifted her up against him placing her on the desk.

Alyssa smiled at the move knowing he exactly what he wanted. She pushed him away from her a moment as he gave her a confused look. Not really wanting to have her books thrown everywhere like the last time they had sex on her desk, she moved off of the desk and pushed him to sit on the couch that was right across from the huge picture window overlooking Venice beach and then moved to where she straddled his hips before pulling him into another kiss. Getting a wicked idea she broke the kiss and stood up. He looked at her completely confused again and she smiled deviously back at him going to leave the room stopping at the door.

“Get naked, sit on the edge of the couch. I’ll be right back.” She semi-commanded walking down the hall to their bedroom going into his closet finding either the first thing she came to or exactly what she was looking for she couldn’t tell but knew that he’d love this. She walked back in smiling that he did as she instructed. She stood in front of him with still smiling one hand behind her back. “Close your eyes.” She instructed. When he did so she took the red neck tie she got from his closet and put over his eyes tying it behind his head.

“What the… Lissa what the hell are you doing?” He asked a little surprised.

“Hush…”She said silencing him she stared for a second before slipping off the tank top and boxers she’d been wearing and letting her hair down from the loose French braid it was in. She then moved over him, legs on the outside of his facing away from him adjusting herself so that he could enter her both of them gasping as she slid down resting her full weight onto him.

She looked over her shoulder at him smiling that he couldn’t see her, she leaned her head back to rest on his shoulder as she began a slow rocking motion that had him begin to grab at her. Alyssa grinned a little moving his hands to her hips as she alternately kissed, licked and nipped at his neck.

He moved his hands from her hips feeling as if he couldn’t touch enough of her. Once again she completely surprised him, blindfolding him to the point where he could only hear her breathy moans, and feel her, biting at his neck. The combination of which was making his head swim.

Knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer if she kept this up he swept her hair over her shoulder pushing her to be a little out in front of him putting her at an angle that made them simultaneously moan. He pulled one hand up her body making sure to linger on certain spots that drove her crazy, he felt for her neck happy that it was right in front of his face as he moved his hand to run the length of her spine while leaning in and biting her. That one move made her shudder crying out as her release overtook her body just as it always did giving him no choice but to follow seconds later.

After the tremors subsided they both collapsed against the couch breathing heavily. They laid still him holding her on top of him as they both regained normal breathing. “Lissa?” He asked taking off the blindfold tossing it across the room landing on his jeans.

“…Yeah…” She answered moving off of him still a little breathless and tingly.

“What made you think of that?”

She laughed a little, “Always wanted to try that.” She replied smiling.

“Well that was a first for me.”

She looked over at him giggling at the dazed expression on his face, “Seriously I would think with all the experience you have at least you would have tried that?”

“You’d think so but you’d be wrong. I wasn’t usually the one being blindfolded.”

“Oh.” Alyssa stated quite pleased with herself that she’d come up with something he’d never tried before.

He looked at her leaning on him smirking to herself, “You’re grinning like an idiot you realize this don’t you?”

She looked up at him, “Just pleased that I came up with something you hadn’t done before.”

He had to laugh at her. “There are a lot of things I haven’t done, true I’ve done my fair share, but there are still lots of things I want to try.”

“Like what?” Alyssa asked knowing that she probably had thought the same things he wanted to try.

He thought a moment, “…Bathtub, in the ocean…strip show.”

“Strip show?”

He blushed a little, “Yeah, I’ve had lap dances before but never been teased where I could only watch.”

“Haven’t you been to a strip club?”

He laughed, “I meant a private show….with you.”

“Oh…”She said blushing. She got an idea and stood up and held out her hand.

He looked at her strangely, “What?”

“Come on I have an idea...and no it’s not a strip show...”She said taking his hand leading him into their bedroom and into the bathroom. “Light these.” She commanded pointing to the candles on the counters and around the giant Jacuzzi bathtub.

He smiled knowing what she was getting at as she turned down the lights then turning on the water letting the tub fill up and pouring in her favorite blackberry and vanilla bubble bath. Once the tub was full they both got in with him sitting in between her legs reclining back against her as she massaged his neck.

“Damn this is nice.” He stated sighing.

She smiled kissing the top of his head and replied, “Well you always spoil me, this is the least I could do.”

“So how much longer do you have this semester?”

“I have finals this week and then a graduate in a week and a half. Once I get my grades I will officially be done with school.”

“And I can drag you around the world with me right?”

She smiled at him, “Hmmm....maybe....”

He chuckled a bit at her answer, “I can’t wait until you graduate. And the guys will get to meet your parents.”

“That’s right, they know they’re invited to the ceremony and the lunch afterwards right?”

He smiled, “Yeah.”

*************************************

Alyssa Narrating:

God finals are killing me this semester. At least I graduate next week that’s a definite plus right there. And then I have a few meetings with my new boss, Professor Dietrich who just happened to be my chair for my thesis, which of course I passed *does happy dance*.

Then of course there was the tournament which we won thank you very much. It was awesome to say the least. The bad part was that I got cleeted in the first half (on the back of my thigh no less OWWW!). I thought I was fine and kept playing until in the final 5 minutes I took a breather and then couldn’t walk. I guess the adrenaline rush wore off. But thank God for Kellie, that one shot she made allowed us to win or else we’d have to go into a sudden death round, which by the way is way too much pressure to put on someone!

Then there’s the fact that my brother is shacking up with Lori...AGAIN. God they need to just get married already. I’m happy for them though all happy and in love. However I don’t exactly enjoy hearing about my older brother’s sexual prowess. It’s kind of disturbing so I just block it out mostly only focusing on the funny or romantic parts that I can use to embarrass his ass.

Most importantly there’s Nick....

It kills me not being able to say that I love him to his face. I know he hates that I don’t. I see it every time he says it and gets a smile, a kiss or an ‘I know’ as answer.

But you also have to understand my logic...as fucked up as it is. I’m completely head over heels in love with him....and the last time I could actually say that about someone, they were taken away from me.

Yes, I’m talking about Collin...

‘I love you’ was the last thing I ever got to say to him. And while most people think that’d be a good thing when something tragic happens it fucking freaked me out. I couldn’t handle it. I lost someone who meant a lot to me and my dad being sick didn’t help either. I was so lost, I began blaming myself and fearing that loving someone meant that they would be taken away...which happened once...nearly twice.

I can’t handle that happening again...not to Nick... I wouldn’t survive without him. My solution... Not tell him. I love him but he can’t know that...not until I know that loving him won’t make him be taken away. He’s my ‘one’ and I know it. The whole time he was in Asia I made a list of things...reasons...to love him. Let me tell you I’ve got about 455 and counting. I keep it hidden in my desk so he won’t see it. Most of them of course have to do with the way he makes me feel, which is kind of like Jell-O.

I know weird comparison but hear me out...

The way he looks at me even though he thinks I don’t notice I know he watches me, have known it for a long time just never thought anything of it until he said that he loves me.

Anyways I’m getting off track here...he looks at me just watching me do everyday stuff with this look of complete adoration, and a mixture of love/lust and contentment that just makes me glow (which I just recently noticed).

Or when he kisses me when I’m expecting him to kiss me roughly he’ll be completely gentle and loving. Even more so when we just sit around or lying in bed and he plays with my hair or my fingers letting me know that he’s right there with me. Little things like that make my legs wobbly and my stomach turn to Jell-O, you know like when it shakes.

Lori teases me about it, how he makes me ‘glow’ because I’m finally getting some. Which don’t get me wrong I LOVE it, just it’s kind of unnerving sometimes when he knows exactly what I want him to do without having to say it. I know I’m crazy here but I want to know how he does that.

And then when he said that he wanted to make love to me...my heart stopped. As much as I loved what he said it was how he said it and the intensity in his eyes that made me so out of it you could have knocked me over with a feather. All women should know what its like to have a man say that to you with that much passion and meaning behind it. The next day my body still hadn’t recovered from it. I still get all warm just thinking about how good it was that night.

Honestly that’s the way it should be...though he’s the only one I’ve ever been with I could tell from him that that’s how it should be...completely personal...loving....and damn near explosive.

It’s kind of weird you know. He and I have reached a whole other level of intimacy where I can tell him nearly anything and he tells me nearly everything anyways so it’s just like we’re completely in tune with each other now.

For instance the other day Lori and Kellie and I were having this huge study session for our sexual psychology class (it’s about how people react in their minds when they are bombarded with sexual stimuli not just an easy A for the horny jocks).

Nick asked me if I’d help him make lunch...since the boy is hell on wheels when it comes to kitchen appliances I of course lended a hand. We’d decided to make sandwiches and my dad’s homemade chili since it was kind of chilly outside it being December, and rainy in Southern California.

Lori told me later that her and Kellie sat mesmerized watching how he and I react to one another.

He’d get done with the mayo and hand it to me just when I was about to reach for it. Or I’d be cleaning the beans for the chili and he’d have the vegetables all chopped up by the time I came back from the sink. And come to think of it ever since that night I spent in the hospital... we’ve been like that. Almost as if something changed in our relationship that night that someone is trying to tell us that we’re meant for each other.

I don’t know all I know is he makes me happy...*grins*

End narration

*************************************

************************************

Nick narrating:

God I love this....I’m lying here watching Alyssa sleep...which is something that is pretty common for me. So I’m lying here watching the woman I love sleep, I have to smile at myself as I notice that her skin is still a little flushed from earlier.

But she still looks peaceful as she always does when she’s asleep that you can see how much she looks like her mom. When her eyes are open everyone always goes on and on about how much she has her father’s eyes.

But that’s not my point.

My point is... well I don’t exactly have one.

She’s just so amazing seeing her in well our bed now, covered only by a flimsy sheet that thankfully leaves nothing to the imagination yet she’s still modest about her body.

Even though she really has nothing to be ashamed of. She’s thin in the right places and curvy in the right places. She runs 5-10 miles a day whether outside or in a gym, definite proof of how she keeps her legs strong.

She’s not super model thin, but not too curvy. She’s just right and I think she knows it. Like whenever she wears something everyday like her favorite beat up low waisted jeans she has this tendency to have more confidence in her walk.

All right I admit it I watch her hips when she walks, and well pretty much all of her.

But nothing beats how she will just walk up to me and tell me she wants me. That and if she’s in this one bra and underwear set I can’t help myself. I love it when she wears it, it’s black with navy blue flower things all over the bra and low cut underwear that’s enough to make any man fall over.

I love the underwear she has...all low rise boy short as she calls them. They kind of remind me of the short shorts that the chick on the Dukes of Hazard used to wear. Shows just enough skin to get you going yet covers the rest up to make you want them on the floor fast.

That’s the way we are with each other...we tease...we play around with each other. Just since we’ve actually BEEN together the teasing has gotten a lot naughtier.

Which I don’t mind one damn bit.

I love it when she walks around the house in nothing but an old jersey of mine or sits on my lap and continually moves around claiming not so innocently that she’s just trying to get comfortable. Then overhearing what she had to say to the girls was entertaining to say the least. Hearing that I’m ‘perfect’ was really odd. I mean I know that I make her happy but perfect?

I don’t know maybe it’s the same way it is with me that it is for her...because she’s perfect to me...true she’s got some flaws but that just makes her more perfect.

Maybe I don’t know....

End Narration.

************************************

That Friday...

Alyssa collapsed into one of the chairs next to Lori and across from Kellie, “Tell me why again did I try to graduate in 2 and half years with my masters?”

“Because you’re crazy.” Kellie offered up.

Alyssa smirked, “I’m not the one getting married.”

Lori snorted in laughter at Alyssa’s comment, “I can imagine being required to sleep next to the same man for the rest of my life...”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “It’s not that hard to think about....” She trailed off not quite knowing how they’d react.

Kellie and Lori looked at Alyssa in shock, “You’ve actually thought about it?” Kellie asked a little astonished.

Alyssa blushed rolling her eyes, “Yeah the other night we were just lying on the couch together watching a movie when he said ‘you know I could spend the rest of my life like this here with you’ it got me thinking.”

“My God hon that’s just wow coming from him.”

“I know, but I started imagining what life would be like if we ever did take it that far...”

“And?”

“It kind of freaked me out that I could see myself with him like 20-30 years from now.”

Lori sat back and sighed, “Wow...did you say anything to him?”

“No I didn’t think I should.”

Meanwhile...

Nick searched through his desk looking for a pen. He cursed under his breath when he came up empty handed. He looked across the room at Alyssa’s desk eyeing it, quickly deciding to go search her desk for a pen hoping to find one then of course put it back later.

He walked over not seeing a pen anywhere on the top her desk being careful not to move any of her papers that she had scattered on the desk. Nick then moved to the desk drawer opening it moving things a little before stopping on some folded paper.

Curious he pulled it out unfolding it seeing Alyssa’s near perfect handwriting on it that formed a list that spanned about 4 or 5 pages. He went over to his desk grabbing his glasses then moved to sit down at his chair the song he had stuck in his head long forgotten as he began to read aloud:

1. The way he looks like a little kid on Christmas when he gets what he wants.

2. The way he stares at me and thinks I don’t notice.

3. When he bites my neck...*fans self*

4. His kisses

”What the hell is this?” He asked out loud to no one in particular, Even more curious now he flipped to the third page reading the first one that he came to:

245. The way he says my name in or out of the bedroom.

He flipped to the last page at the bottom seeing she’d gotten up to 455 reading it slowly.

455. The little things he does that he makes me see how much I love him.

Nick sat back a little shocked holding the papers in his hands. Had she really wrote all of that or was he just hallucinating. He read it over again, seeing that he wasn’t hallucinating. He just stumbled across a gold mine she really did feel the same way. True he heard her say it to Lori and Kellie but to read it knowing she wrote it thinking of him was a whole different entity in itself.

Getting an idea he quickly scanned the list into his computer before putting it back in her desk folded just as he found it. Now if he ever doubted her feelings he could just pull the list up and see for himself. At least that would do until she’d tell him herself.

“What are you doing?” His head shot up hearing Alyssa come into the room not even hearing her come in the house let alone up the stairs.

“N..nothing...”He stammered.

Alyssa looked at him a second debating on whether or not to call him on the obvious nervous look on his face that was like a kid getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar. “You ok? You seem nervous about something.” Alyssa replied.

He stood going to her bringing her in close giving her a slow teasing kiss. Her initial surprise faded quickly as she wound her arms around his neck as his hands at her back pulled her into him nearly taking her feet off the ground.

He broke away a minute later setting her back down on the ground as she stared at him an unmistakable look of lust in her eyes. He smirked at her and took her hand leading her into what was her old bedroom.

She got the hint and began to take off her shirt just as he put his hands on hers stopping her. She looked up at him completely confused. “Just come here.” He stated pulling her onto the bed with him. Once she laid down he pulled her close kissing her softly at first with growing intensity.

After laying there for a solid couple of hours just kissing and touching she finally broke the heavy silence that hung over them. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine…more than fine even.” He answered offering her a small smile.

She grinned back at him, “Then umm is there something wrong with me?”

“God no why are you asking?”

She relaxed a little bit, “Because you’ve never kissed me like you did in the office before and now we’re lying in bed fully clothed and we’ve been making out like teenagers for the past…”She glanced at the clock a second, “Two hours care to explain what’s gotten into you?”

He had to grin at her, “Is there a problem with just wanting to be near you?”

“Well no just usually when you drag me into a bedroom its to go a lot further than we’ve done today.”

He rolled his eyes at her, “You were expecting me to what exactly…” He knew already he loved making her say it though.

“I was expecting you to tear my clothes off. You don’t kiss someone like that and then not…”She trailed off.

“Then not what?”

She rolled her eyes, “Then not screw them senseless.”

He chuckled a little, “You frustrated?”

She glared at him, “A little.” She admitted only slightly.

“Do you want me?” He teased.

“When do I not? And from the looks of it you want me just as much if not more.” She shot back, two can play this game.

He grinned at her, “Then tell me what you want me to do about it.”

She sat back and grinned at him, “I don’t want you to do anything.”

“What?” He asked, surely she wasn’t going to turn him down.

She put her hands on his chest and pushed him to lie on his back as she moved to straddle his hips causing him to groan. “Just relax and enjoy.” She replied before lifting off his shirt throwing it across the room.

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten: Jack and Sally

Alyssa groaned hearing the alarm go off reaching for it just as Nick did her hand on top of his. She quickly pulled away and got up going into the bathroom not caring that she was naked and getting into the shower. She was cranky, he thought but in reality she was just a little freaked out. She let the hot water scald her skin as she thought of the night before.

True she wasn’t freaked out by what they did…of course not…she was mainly concerned with how she felt afterwards that scared the hell out of her. She’d told him…well sort of…he’d fallen asleep before she did and she said it just watching him as she began to drift off to sleep.

Today was going to be their first real test if they could hide their relationship. Her parents, and siblings would be in town today for her graduation ceremony. Thankfully she wasn’t going to commencement which would be four hours long with all the students graduating instead she opted for convocation, which was her school’s own ceremony.

Nick rolled over not quite understanding Alyssa’s behavior especially now. She had always kept him guessing back when things were simple between them. Before he knew how she felt…before they ever were together.

He got up throwing on a pair of boxers going into the bathroom seeing Alyssa come out of the shower with a towel on already laughing to himself remembering the first time he walked in on her in the shower. He caught her arm as she tried to brush past him holding her there. She looked up at him indignantly. He smiled at her, “Hey why the crankiness you’re graduating today?”

“Not cranky….”She stated pulling out of his grasp going into her closet in her old room closing the door to dry off.

He walked in sitting on the bed which was directly across from the door to her closet. “Then why can’t I touch you without you freaking out on me?”

A second later Alyssa came walking out in a strapless black bra and matching boy short underwear her hair still wet from the shower. “Because we can’t be all over each other today.” She answered taking her towel and running it through her hair.

“And why is that?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes and sat next to him, “Because if we want this to work and keep it a secret then you have got to restrain yourself.”

“God I hate this.”

“Why? Most guys would kill for a situation that you’re in, have a girlfriend but remain single to the world.”

He looked at her loving her morning without makeup look. “I’m not most guys. I hate keeping us a secret, besides I think the guys are a little suspicious”

“Do they know something…”

“Ever since they saw the scratches on my back they’ve been wondering whom I’m shacking up with…Alex thinks it’s a dominatrix…Brian and Howie think it’s you.”

Alyssa had to laugh, “Mistress Alyssa…kinda has a nice sound to it huh?” She stated as he cracked up laughing.

“Actually that’s kind of…”

“You say hot and I’m kicking you…we have to revert to our old relationship today. Besides I don’t think you want my dad and my brother to know all the things we’ve done.”

He laughed, “Your brother is a freak from what I’ve heard and you are exactly like your father so I doubt he’d have much to complain about.”

“I’m not like my dad.”

He rolled his eyes, “You have his eyes, his hair, his personality, athleticism, drive…need I go on? Thank God you got your mom’s looks. The guys are gonna think she’s hot.”

“Obviously so does my dad.” She paused getting up as he laughed at her. “Well the three of us kids didn’t just pop up out of nowhere.” Alyssa walked into the bathroom smoothing curl control crème into her hair before taking a hair dryer to it to make sure it laid just right in smooth full layers down her back.

Nick got into the shower glancing every few seconds to Alyssa standing at the mirror that ran the length of the wall. He got out going to his closet pulling on a pair of vintage jeans that Alyssa claims she loves on him and a white linen button down shirt with the sleeves rolled and scrunched up.

He walked back into the bathroom seeing Alyssa walk back in wearing a mid-thigh length hunter green, ‘wave’ burnout silk dress by Ginger and Java with purple, white and pale pink accents on it that had strings for straps that went up in a v-shape from the front of the bust and crossed in the back. “What?” She asked as she put on her diamond stud earrings three on each ear the biggest at her earlobe.

“You look amazing.” He replied behind her wrapping his arms around her waist. His face next to hers due to the heels she was wearing made her only two inches shorter than him than the normal five or six.

She smiled at him turning in his arms “I kinda like being almost as tall as you.”

“I kinda like it too, perfect height for kissing.” He mumbled against her lips.

She giggled and pushed him away, “None of that now, you’ve got to behave.” She stated turning back around applying a little bit of orange cream-sicle flavored lip gloss and then doing her eye makeup leaving only a light liner and little bit of pale lavender shadow that seemed to give her whole face a glow. “Alright I have to go to rehearsal my parents will be here in an hour so should the guys and then come on over to the school ok?”

“Not even one kiss before I get tortured all day?”

She smiled setting down her cap and gown on the counter and walked over to him locking her eyes with his as his arms went around her waist. She put her hand at the back of his neck pulling him into a kiss as she lightly skid her short but newly manicured nails over the back of his neck and into his hair causing goosebumps to break out all over him. Alyssa pulled away with a smirk his eyes still closed. “Happy now?” She asked as she walked over grabbing her cap and gown and walking out. He went down the stairs to see her walk out the door going to her car in the driveway just as the guys all began to pull up. Alyssa waved to them as she drove away.

Kevin, Kristin, Howie and AJ walked up, “Hey where’s she going?” Howie asked.

“Rehearsal…they need to practice how to walk. Where’s Brian and Leighanne?” Nick replied laughing as they walked in the house.

“On their way, they’re stuck in traffic but they’ll be here.”

Lori came walking in the house a second later with Clark, and Kellie in tow. “Hey Blondie.” She said happily greeted Nick.

He rolled his eyes, “So what are you going to do with that shiny microbiology masters degree you worked so hard for?” He asked.

“No fucking clue.” She stated. “I was actually thinking of becoming a photographer.”

Clark smiled at her, “She takes better pictures than I do and it’s my job!” He exclaimed proudly.

Nick smiled back looking at the two of them as they stood holding each other…that’s how he and Alyssa should be. “Lori you’re all glowy I don’t think I’ve seen you like this before.” He said with a smile.

“That’s because Clark proposed yesterday.” Lori admitted blushing a little.

Nick got a shocked look on his face, “Seriously?”

“Yep, I mean we’re not going get married quite yet but we will when the time is right.” Clark answered.

Nick stood up smiling at them, “Damn man congratulations.”

Olivia and Angela walked through the door, “What’s congratulations for?”

“Seems you’re little brother is getting hitched.” Nick replied happy to see Olivia giving her a hug.

Olivia looked at her brother in amazement, “Damn Rhett are you trying to make this a Monroe family celebration? Alyssa’s graduating, you’re engaged, mom and dad are going to renew their vows, geez what’s next?”

“Alyssa is gonna fall in love that’s what should happen next.” Lori stated as everyone looked at Nick.

He immediately tried to look indignant, “Just because I’m in love with her doesn’t mean she’s going to love me back.” He said with a small glare directed at Lori.

Olivia rolled her eyes, “She’s my baby sister, I used to change her diapers, I think I’d know her by now. And believe me if she doesn’t love you I’d sure like to know why she’s still single then.” Olivia remarked as Michael rolled his eyes at the comment.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Angela help me out here…”

Angela laughed, “Oh no, you’re on your own against the brunette trio.” She remarked using the nickname they had both given to Olivia, Clark and Alyssa, all of course being brunette and Angela and Nick being the only blondes. “Besides you’re family anyways.” Angela added just as Jameson and Mary, Alyssa’s parents knocked on the door walking in.

Nick smiled seeing Alyssa’s parents, many times he wished he’d gotten parents like them. “Jamie…Mary.” He greeted them.

“Nick it’s good to see you alive and well.” Jameson replied with a smile pulling him into a hug.

“I’m just so excited today! Our baby is graduating college.” Mary gushed.

“Oh there’s even better news Mom.” Clark added.

She looked over at him smiling expectantly, “Lori and I are engaged.” He stated smiling.

“Oh my…First Olivia and her wonderful news, then Alyssa’s graduation, and Clark is engaged!”

“What news?” Nick asked looking at Olivia.

She sighed, “I wanted to tell Ali first but anyways Angela and I are going to adopt.”

“That’s awesome Ollie….wait a second you and Angela?” Nick asked with a shocked look on his face.

Olivia laughed, “Yeah….I thought all of you would have figured it out by now, but we’ve been together since college. Ali knew of course but she stayed quiet for me.”

“I’m happy for you honey.” Clark replied.

After introducing the other guys to Alyssa’s parents they all sat down talking and joking around. Brian, Leighanne and Baylee came walking in last as everyone erupted in laughter at Olivia’s joke. “Whoa I think we missed the party.” Brian said holding his son laughing.

“Nah man right on time, Brian, Leigh these are Alyssa’s parents Jameson and Mary Monroe.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Leighanne replied smiling.

“Well it’s nice to finally meet Nick’s band mates he’s only known our daughter for how long now?” Jameson answered warmly.

“Just over 8 years.” Nick replied.

“Seems like yesterday, Ali was only 12 then.”

“Yep.”

Jameson smiled at him he’d always liked Nick, figuring that his friendship with his daughter would be a good influence on them both, thankfully it had been. “Anyways, where is she?”

“Rehearsal.”

“Ah.”

Mary smiled, “So how’s the album going? Alyssa told me you boys were working on a new one.”

“It’s going really well, we went and did a little touring over in Asia and it was amazing.”

“I’m so glad you boys are doing well. You know me I worry even about you.” She replied.

Nick smiled, “Yeah, Alyssa’s been doing really well, in school and everything.”

“She gets it from my side.” Jameson proudly boasted.

“Oh hush you, might I remind you that I’m still working as a heart surgeon and you sir are retired.”

“Why work if you don’t have to is what I say, besides one can only win so many Pulitzer’s before you have to go out on top.”

“You’ve won a Pulitzer?” Kevin asked.

“He’s won two.” Mary admitted proudly.

Jameson sighed, “That was before I was diagnosed with colon cancer a few years back. I promptly retired and worked on keeping myself healthy.” He explained.

“Must have been rough, my dad passed away at 39 from it.” Kevin replied.

“It was but they caught it early enough to treat it which I thank my lucky stars for everyday.”

Nick smiled at them as his mind wondered what it would be like to really be apart of the family, not just be considered a member. Shaking his head he looked at his watch, “Guys we gotta get moving or we’re going to be late.” He announced as everyone got up going to their cars.

At the ceremony…

Nick searched the auditorium looking for Alyssa as the students filed in to the obligatory pomp and circumstance music. Once spotting her, he pointed her out to her parents and siblings whom he was sitting next to, in the middle of….he loved this being part of her family.

After an hour and a half Nick saw Alyssa’s row finally stand up and he smiled. Alyssa had been looking up into the crowd searching for Nick, or her family. She soon spotted Nick and smiled waving a little as she stood on the side waiting her turn.

“Alyssa Mackenzie Monroe…” The dean spoke pausing a moment.

“THAT’S OUR SISTER!” Clark and Olivia screamed as the rest of them cheered and clapped.

Alyssa laughed blushing a little as she bent down a little so that her thesis chair Professor Dietrich could place the hood over her gown. As this happened the dean began to speak again, “Miss Monroe’s thesis chair was Dr. Jennifer Dietrich. Also she is one of our youngest graduates receiving her master’s degree in English Literature and Literature History at the age of 21 and will be receiving the award for excellence above all in both sports and academics.” Alyssa smiled proudly as she walked over taking her degree and award before going back and sitting down with her classmates.

“Did you know she was getting the award? She seemed pretty surprised.” Nick leaned over asking Lori and Kellie.

“Coach told us she wasn’t supposed to know.” Lori answered back.

Nick smiled leaning back in his seat not caring that they had the whole other half of the alphabet to get through. He was just happy seeing her graduate that he didn’t even notice when the dean said. “Congratulations class of fall 2004.”

They all waited for the graduates to leave the auditorium before filing out to the lobby. Nick spotted Alyssa immediately, having already taken off her cap and gown and talking with her fellow graduates. “ALYSSA!” He shouted across the room as she turned around smiling saying goodbye to her friends before practically running over and being picked up in a huge hug by him swinging her around a little as she squealed laughing.

Everyone laughed at the display, especially Mary and Jameson, they’d been hoping for a long time that Nick and Alyssa would get together, and they were still holding out. Nick set Alyssa down as she smiled showing him her plaque and makeshift degree until her official one came in the mail. “Mom, Dad I’m so happy you made it.” Alyssa exclaimed coming over to them pulling them both into a hug.

“Honey we’re so proud of you!” Mary exclaimed as they broke the hug.

Alyssa beamed happily brushing her hair over her shoulder just as Lori came up to her, “Hey graduate.” Lori said smiling.

“Hey!” Alyssa replied pulling her into a quick hug. Her eyes strayed to Lori’s hand seeing the diamond ring on it. “OH.MY.GOD...is that what I think it is?”

Lori saw what Alyssa was looking and smiled bigger, “Yeah...”

Alyssa immediately pulled Lori into a tight bear hug exclaiming, “You’re gonna be my sister!”

“Ali...let...go...need oxygen.” Lori managed to spit out as Alyssa let her go as they both started laughing.

“Alyssa?” Professor Dietrich asked.

Alyssa turned smiling brightly, “Dr. Dietrich, I wanted to thank you for being my thesis chair. And I’d like you to meet my friends and family.”

Professor Dietrich smiled, “No problem Alyssa it was a pleasure to work with you.”

“Thanks...”Alyssa stated blushing a little, “Dr. Dietrich I’d like you to meet my parents Jamie and Mary...My roommate and best friend Nick and his band mates....”

“Oh so this is your roommate I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Nick smiled a little surprised that Alyssa talked about him, “It’s nice to meet you too I’ve heard so much about you from Alyssa.”

“Well I hope nothing too horrible.”

“No she spoke very highly of you and your classes that she’s taken.”

The professor smiled, “Well I’m glad to hear that it’s so nice to meet all of you....”Turning to Alyssa she began, “And I’m so happy that you’ve decided to join us here at UCLA. You’re going to make a great addition...remember if you need anything just email me or call.”

“Thank you Dr. Dietrich really I couldn’t have done this without your help.” Alyssa admitted smiling.

“No problem, and call me Jennifer, after all we are colleagues now. Anyways I have to go I’ll see you around alright?” The professor said turning to leave.

“Of course…” Alyssa said happily. She turned to everyone who had a surprised but confused look on their faces. “What?”

“Colleague?” Nick asked.

Alyssa smiled brighter, “I’ll explain at lunch....LET’S GO!” She exclaimed walking out of the lobby. She turned to Nick who was right beside her. “Hey I couldn’t find my cell phone this morning do you know where it is?”

“Nope...”

“Oh well I’ll find it later...do you want to take my car or go with the guys?”

He smiled, “I’ll go with you it’s not like they’ve never been to Mr. Chow’s before.”

“So Ali honey where are we going?” Mary asked.

Alyssa and Nick stopped on their way to her car turning, “Mr. Chow’s Lori will show you how to get there.”

“Where are you going?” Kevin asked smiling a little at Nick and Alyssa’s behavior.

Nick smiled a little, “Going with Ali we’ll meet ya there ok?”

“Alright...” Kevin answered as they watched Alyssa and Nick walk towards her car. He turned to her parents and siblings and asked, “Are they always like that?”

Lori laughed a little, along with Olivia and Angela. “You see it too huh?” Jameson asked back.

“Something has to be going on with them.” Brian stated.

Lori rolled her eyes, “If there is something going on they’re doing a good job of hiding it.” She said with a small laugh as everyone got in their cars.

Meanwhile....

“So umm when were you planning on telling me that you got a job?” Nick asked a little miffed that she could have a job and not be able to go with him that spring.

Alyssa rolled her eyes as she drove and glanced at him a second before turning her eyes back on the road. “Who said I had a job?” She asked playfully.

“Your professor said you were her colleague now.”

Well he had her on that one. She moved one hand from the steering wheel and placed it on his knee reassuring him, “Hey...I’ll explain at lunch...trust me you’ll like it.” She replied as they pulled up to the restaurant getting out and handing her keys to the valet. They stood outside waiting for the others before going in. “Nick give me your sidekick I’m gonna call Lori and ask what the hold up is.”

“No need.”

Alyssa looked up at him a little confused, “Why?” Nick nodded towards the parking lot’s entrance seeing the three cars pull up.

Once everyone walked up they all went to the hostess, “Carter party of 17, you have the upper private party room this way.”

Alyssa looked at Nick a little surprised that they’d gotten a private area. He smiled back at her as everyone walked up the stairs to the room. Nick pulled Alyssa to the side letting everyone go in first and the two of them last. Alyssa started laughing when she saw the decorations...all Nightmare Before Christmas with little strings of Jack Skelington heads that lit up draped over the large round table. “Alright...whose idea was it?” She asked smiling.

Lori and Kellie both pointed at Nick causing Alyssa to laugh. “What? You love that movie.”

“I know but thank you.” She said as everyone sat down. The waitress soon came in taking their drink and lunch orders before disappearing again.

“So honey, what’s this about Dr. Dietrich?” Mary asked still a little bit confused.

Alyssa smiled, “Well while I was working on my thesis Dr. Dietrich...Jennifer... came to me with a job opportunity and after thinking it over I decided that I couldn’t pass it up...” Alyssa turned seeing Nick’s face fall a little at the news she’d gotten a job. “I’d be an Associate Professor for the undergraduate program under Jennifer and I’d be teaching two classes: World Literature and Literature History.”

“So you won’t be joining us on tour this spring?” Howie asked noticing Nick’s expression.

Alyssa sighed and smiled a little again, “Well that all depends.”

“On?” Nick asked getting a little hopeful.

“Whether or not you guys have an internet connection wherever you go.” She stated making Nick look at her a little confused.

“Not to sound like a blonde here but…Why would an internet connection help?” Leighanne asked.

Alyssa grinned chuckling a bit, “Because the two classes that I’m teaching are internet-only classes, which means that as long as I have my laptop and a connection that I can go...if of course you still want me to.” She explained as Nick grinned happily as he moved his hand under the table to hold hers.

“Of course we want you to come along, someone’s gotta keep him in line.” Kevin stated laughing a little as Nick shot him a look.

Alyssa laced her fingers with his squeezing his hand a little, happy for the contact. “Well what do you think?” She asked.

“So you essentially get to have your cake and eat it too huh?” Lori asked making everyone look at her. “What all I’m saying is that she can travel so Nick won’t complain and still have her career and make her own money so it’s not like she’s living off of his money.” Lori explained as their food came in.

“Exactly, Jennifer knew that I wanted to travel with you guys and that all the other positions I’d been offered were all stationary and required me to stay in California or move to another state.” Alyssa replied before digging in to her giant cheese burger.

The conversation lulled while everyone dug into their meals, after most had either finished or were still picking at their food Mary announced, “I think it’s time for you to have this honey.”

Alyssa looked at her strangely glancing between her parents and the knowing smiles Olivia and Clark were giving each other. “What is this momma?” She asked taking the envelope from her mother.

“Well honey, when we first found out we were expecting you, we opened up a savings account and safety deposit box as we did before with Clark and Olivia. And every month we’d add to the bank account with portions of our salaries to be saved and accrue interest until you graduated college.” Jameson explained as Alyssa opened the envelope pulling the card out first reading the note her mother had written:

This is something we did for each of our children so that you could start your lives after college without having to worry about expenses. We’re so proud of you honey and we know you’ll do great things.

Love always,

Momma and Daddy.

Alyssa smiled reading the card then pulled the other papers out of the envelope unfolding them seeing account information and a list of priceless family items that were in the safety deposit box. She gasped at seeing the numbers on the savings account, “Mom do you realize how much money this is?” She asked.

They smiled at her, “Why do you think we worked so hard all these years it was to give you three a good base to start your life.”

“But mom, I think 5 million is a little much!” She replied with a chuckle.

Jamie smiled, “Well that’s what happens after 21 years of saving with a 5% fixed interest rate.”

“5 million?” Nick asked a little astonished.

“Yeah, seems I’m kinda rich now.” Alyssa said laughing.

“Well we did this so that each of you could do whatever you want after you graduated.”

“Yeah Ali how do you think I bought my house?” Olivia asked.

“Or how I was able to open my own photo studio and start as a photojournalist?” Clark asked also.

“How come I didn’t know?”

Jamie sighed, “We wanted you kids to grow up humble and grounded so we kept it a secret until each of you graduated and asked Olivia and Clark to keep quiet until you graduated.”

“Wow, so what should I do with it?” Alyssa asked.

“Well you can keep saving it, spend it, invest it...anything you want hon it’s yours.” Mary explained.

Alyssa leaned over hugging her parents, “Thank you so much really I’m so unbelievably shocked right now.” She said sitting back down as Nick handed her a little box.

“I know you said not to get you anything unless it would help you with your career but here.”

She rolled her eyes at him as she opened it pulling out a brand new sidekick. “So this is why I couldn’t find my cell phone huh?”

“Yeah that and it has all your numbers, emails, and everything loaded up already I figured since it had an organizer too it’d help you out if you got a job and all.”

She smiled and pulled him into a hug, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome that and you were always stealing mine to play games on it so I had to get you one.”

She laughed a little then looked down in the box seeing two plain white envelopes, “What’s this?” She asked.

“A card and the other is something for you to read later.” He explained.

Alyssa opened the card reading the little saying recognizing the lyrics immediately as she read them silently:

My dearest friend, if you don't mind I'd like to join you by your side. Where we can gaze into the stars. And sit together, now and forever. For it is plain as anyone can see. We're simply meant to be. (**)

Congratulations Lissa

All my love

From your Jack to my Sally…

She smiled biting back tears and pulled him to hug him again and kissed his cheek. “Ali we got this from the team as well to say good bye to Triple trouble.” Lori said handing her a shirt box.

Alyssa opened the box moving the tissue paper and began to laugh hysterically at the front of the tee shirt. “What?” Everyone asked.

She lifted it up showing the front that had a blown up ‘Hello my name is…’ logo on the front with the nickname Shock printed beneath it. She looked at the back seeing all of the lyrics to the song from Nightmare Before Christmas called Kidnap the Sandy Claws and indicated which part were the character Shock’s, and her cohorts Lock and Barrel. “This is the funniest shirt ever! It’s even got the lyrics on the back.”

“I know Lori got her’s as Lock and I got mine as Barrel.” Kellie said laughing with her.

“See I told you three were those characters.” Nick shot back. “Lis is the mastermind always plotting something, Lori’s the funny one, and Kel’s the…”

“Bubbly Fashionista!” Alyssa interjected finishing his sentence.

“Exactly.” He replied as they both started to laugh.

Mary and Olivia smiled at them both noticing a major change in Alyssa’s behavior and mood that gave her a happy glow. “Alyssa you seem so different to me somehow.” Mary stated causing Lori and Kellie to simultaneously choke on their sodas.

Alyssa looked over at her two friends giving them a quick glare to be quiet, “Well you know I graduated, which means no more school. That and I’ve made some major changes in my life and I couldn’t be happier right now with my friends and family.” Alyssa replied glancing at Nick for a second.

“Like what?” AJ asked.

“Well, little things mostly, just in how I handle things and my relationships with my friends and who I’m with and hang out with you know.” She replied as she held on to Nick’s hand underneath the table as he fought the urge to just kiss her.

Late that afternoon…

Alyssa sat at her desk in her new shirt as she looked over the copy of the contract she’d signed and turned in to the human resources department at UCLA. She put that down and looked at the envelope next to her. She wanted to read it but was a little apprehensive as to what it might say. ‘Screw it.’ She thought and opened the envelope pulling out a piece of paper. She looked out the door hearing Nick down in the living room watching a sports game. He’d told her to read it when he wasn’t around but she really wanted to know what he had told her. Her eyes turned back to the paper in front of her seeing his nearly illegible handwriting:

Lissa,

I love you with all my heart. Saying that is the most important so I’ll start there. You’ve been there for me through everything…every heartbreak…every success and every failure in my life. You have always made me realize things that I never thought were possible. I realize now that I’ve always loved you from the first day we met....as much as that may make me a pedophile since you were only 12. But from that first day I knew that you were different, something special that I had to keep in my life.

Do you remember New Years Eve when I came to visit? I remember that night so clearly, I’d asked you where your favorite place to be kissed was. You’d said you’d never been kissed so I gave you your first kiss. I was hoping that night that maybe we’d be together someday. I was disappointed when you didn’t say anything back that night. But I held out hope that you’d somehow feel the same.The night you were in the hospital I was a wreck, and when you woke up I was so relieved that you were ok that I made a promise to myself to make sure that you’d never feel alone again. That’s why I moved out to LA, took you on tour with me, I couldn’t bear the thought of you hurting yourself again.

I know that every time I had someone it hurt you, I realize that now. It hurt me too every time you had someone in your life. I wanted it to be me. And every time I was with someone I desperately wanted them to be you but they couldn’t and never could be you. I know that you’re afraid to love someone again after what happened with Collin. I know that on some level you still blame yourself for his death. You think that people you love will be taken away from you. And for that I promise you that I won’t leave you. I wouldn’t have survived this long without you.

Alyssa you’ve made me grow up in a lot of ways just by knowing you. You know how I say that my solo tour taught me to be a better man? That’s because you were there by my side supporting me the whole way...emotionally and mentally. I just hope that you see how much I love you and know that though I’ve made my fair share of mistakes that being with you, as friends, as lovers has been the best decision that I’ve ever made.

Always remember that.

Nick

Alyssa re-read the letter over and over wiping the tears that had fallen down her face. She opened her desk drawer to put the letter away, when she saw the two tickets to Australia. Getting an idea she pulled them out and picked up the phone dialing the airline. “Continental Airlines how may I help you?”

“Hi I have two first class tickets to Australia is there any chance that there might be a flight out tonight?” Alyssa asked grabbing a pen.

Alyssa heard the lady clicking away at what sounded to be a computer, “Hmmm yes we have two first class seats open with a short layover in Honolulu that leaves in three hours from LAX.”

“Alright I’ll take that, so do I just take the tickets that I have?”

“Yes come to the flight desk and we’ll exchange them out free of charge.”

“Thank you we’ll be there in about an hour.” Alyssa said before hanging up the phone only to pick it up again calling Kellie.

“Hello?” Kellie answered a little out of breath.

“Hey Kel it’s Ali.”

“Yeah what’s up chica?” She asked.

Alyssa smiled, “Does your dad still own that private beach house near Sydney Harbor in Australia?”

Kellie thought a moment, “Yeah he gave me a set of keys a while back.”

“You think I could use the place for a week?”

“Umm yeah sure what for?”

“I’m taking Nick on a surprise vacation.”

Kellie laughed, “A romantic vacation for two to Australia...very nice Ali...but yeah give me twenty minutes and I’ll be over to give you the keys and drive you to the airport.”

“Thanks hon.”

“Welcome sweets.”

Now a ball of energy Alyssa bounded down the stairs and moved to sit on Nick’s waist straddling him. “Whoa.”

“I know, but I have a question for you.”

“Yeah?” He asked focusing on her face and how she was smiling at him.

She smiled bigger, “How fast can you pack a week’s worth of clothing?”

He arched an eyebrow wondering where she was going with this. “Umm pretty fast why?”

“Then get packed because Kellie is going to take us to the airport our flight leaves in three hours.” Alyssa said standing up then bolting up the stairs.

Nick got up going after her seeing two bags for each of them lying on their bed already. “Umm where are we going?”

Alyssa came out of the bathroom holding a stack of beach clothes and outfits for clubbing and going out as she put them in her bag. “Remember that the guys gave me two tickets to Australia?”

“Yeah?” He replied pulling clothes out and putting them in his bag as well.

“Well Kellie’s dad owns a private beach house not too far from Sydney Harbor so, you and I have it for a week.”

“Seriously?” Nick asked as she handed him a bag with his toiletries in it.

She smiled, “Yep Kellie is going to be here in a few minutes to take us to the airport and give me the keys.” She walked over to him smiling a little bigger.

Nick pulled her to him leaning down and kissing her softly, “So what made you want to do this spur of the moment trip?”

Alyssa sighed and walked back over zipping up both her bags having completed packing. “Well I read the letter and I thought what better way to say thank you than a trip for two to a place I’ve never been and you happen to love.”

“Wow, ok so I’m just about done and you’re done packing so what’s next?”

“Get your passport, and bring your cell phones. But leave them off we’ll check messages, this is going to be a no interruption vacation.” Alyssa stated changing into a tee-shirt and shorts with flip-flops.

Nick smiled at her and stayed in his jeans and a white tee-shirt grabbing a hat and sunglasses not really wanting to be recognized. They both heard the doorbell go off a minute later as they pulled their things down the stairs leaving them by the door. Nick answered it seeing Kellie on the other side smiling, “Hey Kel.”

“Hey, did you know there are paparazzi camped outside?”

Nick rolled his eyes and looked out the window seeing about three photographers waiting to catch a glimpse. “Damnit when are they ever going to stop?”

“Well Paris has a new boy toy...named Paris and they want your reaction.” Kellie answered.

Alyssa saw what they were looking at and got an idea. “Excuse me for a second.”

“What are you doing?”

Alyssa laughed at him, “Getting the mail, and getting rid of them.” She said as she walked out and down to the mail box which was just where the photographers were standing. “Excuse me guys just need to get Mr. Carter’s mail.”

“Are you his girlfriend?” One of them asked.

Alyssa tried to look offended, “No, he’s single, I’m just his personal assistant here to accompany him on a business trip to New York.”

“Is he still not over Paris?” Another asked.

Alyssa laughed, “He’s very over her, he’s just single and out having fun, now if you’d excuse me, we need to get going so if you could please leave the premises you wouldn’t want me to have to involve the police for harassment now would you?” She watched as they grumbled and got into their SUVs and drove off. Grabbing the mail Alyssa turned and walked back up to the front door walking in handing Nick the mail which was mostly junk.

“How in the hell did you pull that off?” Kellie asked astonished.

“They asked if I was his girlfriend and I said no he’s single I’m just his personal assistant and then they asked about Paris and I was like he’s very over her and threatened that I’d call the cops if they did vacate the premises.” Alyssa explained grabbing her bags and walking them out to the car.

“Damn that’s funny.”

“Yeah that’s Ali alright she’d do that stuff all the time when I had her on tour with me. She’s pretty good at handling the assholes that follow me around.” Nick replied taking his bags, locking up the house, including the security code and putting them in Kellie’s truck getting in.

Kellie got in seeing the two of them sitting in the back of her Escalade holding hands. “Alright you two ready to go?”

“Yeah...” They said in unison as Kellie pulled out of his driveway.

(**) Finale Reprised from The Nightmare Before Christmas

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven: Land Down Under

Nick and Alyssa smiled at each other before turning their attention back to the ocean in front of them. Alyssa loved this being able to just relax on the beach, not worrying about some stupid photographer trying to catch a glimpse of Nick. She looked at him he seemed completely calm, for once in his life. “Hey...”She said nudging him a little.

“Hmmm?” He answered still mesmerized watching the boats sail off in the distance. He was almost too happy at the moment to be there with her, not a care in the world could kill his mood.

She laughed at him, a simple action that made him look at her, “I think I’m going to go check messages see if there’s any crisis at home.” She stated getting up, pausing only to kiss him on the cheek before going inside the house there.

Meanwhile....

“Where in the hell is he?” Kevin barked loudly.

Howie sighed, “Don’t know he’s not answering his cell phones even the emergency line, and I don’t think he’s home, I went by there earlier and both their cars are there.”

AJ sat there thinking, “Maybe he’s screwing someone and wants to be left alone.”

All the guys looked at him rolling their eyes, “But then where is Alyssa she isn’t there either.” Brian stated.

“Hey guys why not try Lori?” Kristin suggested.

“Do you know her number?” Kevin asked.

Kristin thought a moment, “Well no, but she told me where the hide-a-key was and we could go over there and get the number. It has to be on his computer or in their phonebook.”

“Isn’t that breaking and entering?” Howie asked.

“Not if you have a key, that and I remember the security code, Alyssa had me use it to help her get things in the house when her and her brother were painting it.”

Kevin smiled a little, “Nah he’d be pissed if we did that, there has to be a logical explanation for this.”

“Like maybe they ran off together?” Brian offered.

AJ rolled his eyes, “You really think that they are hooking up?”

“Well...” Kristin trailed off.

“Do you know something we don’t?”

Kristin laughed, “No, just suspicious, when you guys were on tour I stayed with Ali and she was pretty bummed out not having him around. But I overheard her talking to Lori and she said that she thinks that she’s still in love with him. Which means she was in love with him at one point and then tried to move on but it isn’t working. Lori told her that she needed to tell Nick about it and Alyssa kept saying she couldn’t lose him if she did.”

Back in Australia....

Alyssa set down the cell phone now worried about the concerned messages she heard. “Nick did you tell the guys where we were going?”

Nick came walking in, “Umm no.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “You better call them Kevin must be having a fit. They each left like three messages on each phone.” Alyssa said referring to his three cell phones. It always seemed ridiculous to her that he had so many but after he explained that one was for business, the other for personal and the third was emergencies only she didn’t mind so much.

Nick picked up his sidekick dialing Kevin’s number rolling his eyes at himself for not calling them. “Hello?” He heard Kevin answer.

“Hey Kev...”

Before he had a chance to finish Kevin was on him in a second, “Where are you? Are you ok? Do you realize you bailed on two meetings?”

Nick laughed making Kevin even angrier, “To answer your questions I’m in Australia, yes I’m fine, and I’m sorry the trip was sort of spur of the moment.”

“You’re WHERE?!?!”

“Australia we’ll be back in like four days relax man.”

Kevin handed the phone to Brian too angry to talk to him, “What’s going on Nick?” Brian asked.

“I’m in Australia, with Ali. We decided to go celebrate her graduation, by using the tickets you guys gave her for her birthday.” Nick answered as Alyssa sat next to him.

Brian laughed a little, “So how come you didn’t call us? Didn’t think we’d be worried?” He asked completely amused that they’d been caught on a romantic vacation.

“No just I had planned to and just never really got around to it.”

“Too busy being on a romantic vacation with your roommate?” Brian asked laughing a little shocking Nick.

Recovering quickly he replied, “It’s not that, geez just she wanted to go and I was the first person she asked.” He stated lying through his teeth.

“So there’s nothing going on between you two?”

Nick rolled his eyes hating having to do this, “...No, there’s nothing going on between me and Ali we’re just having fun, going surfing and lounging on the beach. Like I told Kevin we’ll be back in four days.”

“Alright man I’ll talk to you later.” Brian said hanging up cracking up immediately.

“What?” The guys asked.

Brian sat down still laughing a little, “He’s in Australia....with Alyssa....and he’s trying to convince me that there’s nothing going on between them.”

AJ rolled his eyes, “Yeah right...why can’t friends go on vacation together.”

“Because this is Nick we’re talking about here, he doesn’t go on a vacation with a girl unless they’re together.” Howie replied.

“Well he’s changed guys maybe they aren’t.”

“Maybe they are and are trying to hide it.” Brian shot back.

The next morning...

Alyssa rolled over seeing Nick still out cold, both of them still partially jet lagged. She held the sheet tight to herself as she moved closer to him brushing his hair off his forehead. She jumped a little when his hand came up taking her hand in his. “Relax, God you’re always so jumpy.”

“You were supposed to be asleep.” She stated laughing a little.

He smiled a little, “I was until someone was mothering me by fixing my hair.” He shot back.

She smiled then leaned over pressing her lips to his silencing him for the moment. He moved her onto her back returning her kiss only to break away a minute later when his cell phone rang. “Let it ring...” She said.

He looked at her, “As much as I’d like to I can’t or else they’ll think something is up.” He said leaning over her grabbing his phone from the nightstand. “Hello?”

“Hey...” AJ answered back.

Nick thought a moment, “What do you want Alex?”

“Nothing much just wanted to call and talk can’t I call my best friend?” He asked.

Nick rolled his eyes rolling onto his back as Alyssa tried to get up being stopped by him grabbing her arm making her stay, “Well normally I’d say it’s fine but Alyssa and I were just about to go surfing.” Nick said wanting him off the phone as quickly as possible.

“Surfing?” AJ asked.

“Well yeah it’s summer here in Sydney and we are at Kellie’s dad’s private beach house.”

“Ah yeah I keep forgetting that Australia’s climate’s different than here.” Getting a wicked idea Alyssa moved to kiss his neck, nipping at it a little causing Nick to suck in a breath as she moved lower down his chest. “You ok man?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just almost tripped.” He said lying.

“Ok but anyways you and I are gonna hit the town when you get back there are some fine ladies that’s for damn sure.” Alyssa kept kissing down lower and lower until she stopped just above where he wanted her to go as he tried desperately to keep quiet as AJ continued to ramble. Hearing silence on the line AJ asked, “Are you sure you’re ok? You sound kinda distracted.”

“Uhh...no...just...kind of tired...” He managed to say while Alyssa moved back up his body stopping to pull him into a kiss then trailing her kisses along his jaw line. “Umm Alex I gotta go.” He said hanging up his phone.

Alyssa pulled away smirking at him, “What did he want?” She asked ignoring the subject of what she pulled on him.

“To talk...and you better finish what you started.” He shot back at her.

She laughed at him, “Why? Whose gonna make me?” She said grinning at him as she got up walking towards the bathroom.

Nick rolled his eyes and got up going after her he knew she was teasing him, and he knew he’d have to tease her right back. He walked in the bathroom seeing Alyssa through the glass shower door. He opened it getting in as Alyssa turned around laughing at him. “What’s so funny?”

“That I got you all worked up while you were on the phone and there was nothing you could do about it.” Alyssa stated triumphantly.

Nick pulled her to him pushing her up against the tile wall, “Who says I can’t?” He said before kissing her.

Meanwhile...

“So where are they?” Lori asked.

Kellie laughed at her, “My dad’s beach house in Australia.”

“And she didn’t take us!” Lori exclaimed a little hurt that Alyssa didn’t take them too.

“I think they wanted to be alone...” Kellie explained.

Lori rolled her eyes laughing a little, “God it’s so funny them together, it’s like they can’t keep their hands off each other now.”

“Except in front of the guys.” Kellie added.

Lori laughed, “You do know that they were holding hands under the table at her graduation lunch right?”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope, the whole time practically I’d dropped my napkin and looked under the table seeing them holding hands as they talked to everyone about how good of friends they are.”

“Is that why you bumped your head?”

“Yeah....though that hurt it was pretty funny.”

“I’ll bet, anyways how is Clark doing?”

Lori sighed, “We got in a fight...I want him to move out here....he wants me to move to Sedona where he lives....but I don’t want to.”

Kellie rolled her eyes, “Sounds like Michael and I. Except our argument was over sex.”

Lori arched her eyebrow, “Really?”

“Yeah I was asking him if we could experiment, try new things instead of the whole man on top crap. And he was like I like it that way.”

Lori began to laugh, “So what did you say?”

“I kinda told him about Nick and Ali.”

“WHAT?!?! Kellie you aren’t supposed to tell anyone!”

Kellie immediately looked guilty, “I know, I know. It just came out he was going on and on about how he likes things the way they are and I blurted out: ‘you know everyone is having better sex than us...even Alyssa’”

“What did he say?”

“He went off on me asking me who it is she’s with and blah blah blah. I told him that it was Nick and that he could NOT tell anyone and if he did the wedding would be off.”

“How’d he take knowing Nick got there before he did.”

Kellie sighed, “He was so pissed and started ranting about how Nick sabotaged his and Alyssa’s relationship because he wanted her for himself and that’s why they aren’t friends anymore. I replied saying that maybe he isn’t over Alyssa.”

“Ooooo.”

“I know he was like I still care about Ali, yeah but I don’t want to be with her I love you Kellie....blah.. But yeah he agreed not to tell anyone about Nick and Alyssa so I won’t get in trouble with either of them.”

A few days later....

*******************************

Alyssa Narrating:

I seriously don’t want to go back to LA. Australia is so fucking amazing that I want to stay. Amazingly I got to see a lot of it, more than I was expecting to. I was expecting to see the beach, and the beach house and that’s about it. But Nick had other plans.

You know he’s such a romantic sometimes...*laughs*

Seriously now he even took me to the Sydney Opera house (the big white building that looks like sails if you didn’t know). He can’t stand classical music like he does like strings in the back of a song because that just sounds cool. But a full symphony orchestra....definitely not his cup of tea.

But he knows that I love it, especially piano music...anything with piano in it and I’m a happy girl. That’s of course because I grew up playing the piano...14 years of lessons ought to count for something. I still play alot usually when no one’s around I’m not one for performing in front of people.

But yeah he didn’t even tell me where we were going all he said was... “wear this...you look amazing in it...” as he handed me this chocolate brown velvet long sleeve, off the shoulder dress that’s pretty form fitting.

I’d only worn it maybe once or twice and that was before he and I had ever hooked up...so I’m guessing he really liked what he saw back then.

Anyways we leave and go to the Opera house which isn’t that far from the house we were at. We get out and I’m looking at him strangely trying to pick anything up on him which is hard to do sometimes.

But we get in and sit down and I look through the program and see that the show performing there was the Sydney Orchestra with piano. I was so freaking happy especially for the finale they did Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue...my favorite instrumental song ever. Afterwards he took me out to dinner at one of the restaurants that overlooked the harbor. We talked about the concert a little and he asked why I never played anymore. I told him I still do just not around anyone.

He then proceeded to tell me that he always loved watching me play so completely focused on the music. I told him, sort of half assed, that maybe I’d play for him when we got back to LA sometime.

I truly never expected him to ever actually sit through 2 and a half hours of classical to neo classical music. It was strange really seeing him actually enjoying it too and not just sitting through it because I love it.

The funny part though was when he was asked for an autograph while we were walking out of the restaurant. I could tell he was just a bit annoyed but he didn’t let the fan know. She asked if I was his girlfriend and he said, “No this is my best friend Alyssa.”

And to be quite honest...that hurt...being reduced to just a friend when we’re so much more than that now.

But then I remembered that it was my idea to keep quiet about us and decided against saying anything because I know he’d throw that in my face. It got me thinking though....what would he say if we told everyone? Would I be his girlfriend or become someone non threatening to the fans like what happened with Amanda. I remember seeing all that crap about her all over the internet. I remember helping Nick calm her down when she lost it because she hated being called a whore.

I know that the fans have changed since then and most of them support the girlfriends/wives/whatever...but there’s still that small minority that can ruin a perfectly solid relationship...it did just that to Nick and Amanda’s relationship.

She was his first love, first serious girlfriend...hell I thought they were going to get married there for a while.

And in the end what did that matter that they loved each other? Can two people who care that much about each other be torn apart by rabid teenies?

Hell it took them two years to even speak to each other again let alone become friends.

Is that going to happen to us? I love him...so much that it hurts when we’re apart. What if they hate me? What if it doesn’t work? Oh God....what if he wants out? I love him more than anything but....

Is love really enough?

End Narration.

************************************

They both trudged into the house from the garage, dropping their bags by the laundry room to deal with later. Alyssa began to unzip one of the bags deciding to get some laundry done now until Nick’s hand on her shoulder made her turn to look at him. “What?” She asked.

“Laundry can wait....” He stated taking her hand leading her up to their bedroom both of them lying down together too tired to change out of their clothes. He pulled her close to him, resting his chin on her head as they slowly fell asleep even with the immense sunlight filtering in from the french doors that lead out to the balcony.

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve: More Than A Woman

Midnight Grindin'…My Heartrate's Climbin'…You Go, I Go…Cause We Share Pillows… Taste Me, Feed Me…There's Still No Separating…Morning Massages…With New Bones In Your Closet…I'll Be…I'll Be More Than A Lover…More Than A Woman…More Than Your Lover…I Said I'll Be…I'll Be More Than Another…More Than A Woman…More Than Another…I'll Be…(I'll Be More) More Than Your Lover…(More) More Than A Woman…(More) More Than Your Lover…I'm Gonna Be…(I'll Be More) More Than A Lover…(More) More Than A Woman…(More) More Than Another…(**)

Alyssa chuckled to herself as she unbuttoned the shirt she had been wearing tossing it over at him as she continued to dance to the music. She knew he’d love this as a birthday present…one of his fantasies fulfilled. Just as the song was finishing she’d gotten down to wearing just her bra and underwear along with thigh high stockings and high heels. She smiled and walked over to him straddling his lap, looking him straight in the eyes she smiled and said, “Happy birthday…”

He smiled back before kissing her slowly allowing his hands to run up her legs over her hips and up her back making her shudder a little. She pulled away a second later just looking at him. “What?” He asked.

“Nothing just pleased you liked your present.” She replied laughing a little as she got up reaching for his hand taking them to the bed.

A while later….

“Good birthday?” Alyssa asked as she sat reclined against him as they sat on the floor in the living room up against one of the couches. Neither of them really paying much attention to the Suns game on television.

He rolled his eyes and smiled at her, “Well as long as we can celebrate like this next year…or tomorrow.”

She gave him a quick kiss then asked, “You really liked this huh?”

“I can honestly say that I seriously don’t mind getting a striptease….especially when you wear thigh highs and heels.”

She laughed a little, “Lori’s idea....”

“Remind me to buy her something obscenely expensive to say thank you.”

Alyssa giggled at him, “Well I’m glad you enjoyed your present…hell saved me from shopping for the guy who literally has everything.”

“Especially after Christmas…you think your parents after a certain age would stop spoiling everyone.”

Alyssa smiled, “Well they had a helluva lot more people to buy for this year, since your siblings decided to come.”

“I’m glad they did.” Nick replied.

Alyssa sighed, “Yeah I know how much you miss them…Aaron and Angel living with your dad now…Leslie with your mom and Bobbie bouncing between Florida, LA and New York… It was really nice to have them all together in one place.”

“It’s weird how I’ve become the parent in all this family bullshit.”

Alyssa looked up at him smiling, “That’s because you’re the oldest….and with that comes certain responsibilities when a family falls apart like that.”

“That’s why I love your family…you guys have always been so close…all driven and determined to have separate lives yet when it comes down to it you all know how much family means.”

Alyssa smiled, “What did my dad say to you when he pulled you aside that day?” She asked.

He knew she was going to ask about this and decided to give her the condensed version, “Well he was saying how wonderful it was to have most of my family included with you guys and that if someday I was ever inclined toward asking you to marry me that I had his blessing.”

“Whoa…He seriously said that?” Alyssa said sitting up straight turning around to face him.

He smiled at her, “Yeah he said that he knows we’re just friends but that he’s never seen you happier than when we’re together.”

Alyssa sat back a second thinking…Had her father figured her out? Did her emotions really show that much when they’re together? “What did you say?”

“I thanked him for his blessing and that if I were ever to consider getting married that it would be to you.”

She looked at him a little shocked by that statement, “You could honestly see yourself growing old with me? Having kids?”

“Hell yeah…seriously I’ve grown up a lot these past couple of years and I’m not saying that I want to have kids today….just in the future I’d like that with us.”

Two weeks later…

“So Alyssa are you all set up?” Dr. Dietrich asked.

Alyssa smiled warmly, “Yep all set up….the tour doesn’t start up again until March 24 but I’m going to be traveling with them until then as they make the final touches on the album.”

“Good, now if you need any help day or night, you just call me or email me and I’ll try to help you out alright?”

“Sure.” Alyssa replied as they walked out of the building together.

The professor smiled, already confident she’d made the right decision in pushing the department to hire Alyssa. They had originally been a little reluctant to hire her being a new graduate, and not having much experience under her belt. But after seeing her thesis, and her ability to juggle, work, school and social lives had convinced them otherwise. “Now you have a great Valentine’s day you hear!” She shouted from her car as Alyssa was walking away.

“I will, thanks Jennifer.” Alyssa said before walking to her Audi noticing a rose and a note on her seat. “I could have sworn I locked this up when I went in.” She mumbled to herself as she picked up the rose and the attached note getting into the car and closing the door. She smelled the rose which was one of her favorite kinds…a peach rose and opened the note recognizing who wrote it immediately.

Happy Valentine’s day Lissa,

…See you at home

Nick.

Alyssa smiled at the note, she knew he’d do something like this even though she’d told him not to. She drove home quickly already wondering what he’d planned for them. She got about half way into the driveway when she saw a trail of peach, white, red and purple roses leading from the street up to the door. She went and picked each one up totally to about 24 as she got to the door opening it and putting in the security code.

She walked in instantly recognizing the smell that wafted throughout the house….chicken marsala…her favorite meal that her dad made. She smiled seeing rose petals everywhere and vases of her favorite roses all over the house. She walked into the kitchen after putting the flowers in her hand into a vase near by. Alyssa laughed a little at the mess he’d made trying to recreate her favorite meal.

Nick looked up from behind the island stove in the center of the kitchen and smiled back wiping his hands as he walked over to her. “I thought I told you not to buy me anything.”

He smiled at her, “I know what you said and I didn’t ignore it.”

She rolled her eyes at him a little surprised that he’d do this for her let alone cook. “I thought you didn’t know how to cook?” She asked suspicious that he may have ordered out.

“I don’t…but I called Jamie and had him fax over the recipe. I know how much you love this so I thought instead of buying an overly expensive gift I’d make you dinner.”

“And spend an insane amount on flowers. The house looks like a florist.” She replied.

“Actually you’re never going to guess where I got these…”

Alyssa raised her eyebrows “Where then?”

He smiled at her, “Remember when Kellie was talking about how her parents have that huge rose garden at their Bell-Air home?”

“Yeah?”

“Well I called Kellie asked her what kind of roses you liked since we never talked about it and she gave me the idea and we went over and got all of these…twelve dozen just in the vases and about 6 dozen more that we used the petals to scatter around the house.”

“So how much did you spend?” She asked.

He laughed at her, she was always concerned about people spending money on her, “A tank of gas, and the food.” He replied avoiding specifics.

She smiled at him helping him putting the finishing touches on their dinner. They walked over sitting down at the dining room table. “So ummm this is our first Valentine’s Day…together huh?”

He looked up from filling up a bowl with the tossed salad he made handing it to her. “Exactly why I did this, something to remember ten years from now.”

She laughed a little taking the bowl from him, “You are really certain you want me that long huh?”

He handed her a plate filled with the chicken marsala, and fettuccini alfredo and replied, “I told you…I want you in my life….come hell or high water you’re my girl.”

“I know you told me…still a little shocked that you are actually serious about a relationship.” Alyssa responded before taking a drink of her water.

He smiled a little, “Don’t be shocked...the reason why I’m serious about this is we don’t have to go through the ‘getting to know you’ phase that most people do...we already know each other better than anyone else. I just hate not being able to tell anyone.” He admitted.

A silence grew over them as they ate. Alyssa sat there eating and thinking...what he said still processing in her head. She knew why she didn’t want people to know...she thought she had made that pretty clear. But she let it go...she hated arguing and since it was Valentine’s day she decided against ruining the evening he’d planned for them.

A week later...

Alyssa ran down the stairs hearing the doorbell for the third time. She rolled her eyes seeing AJ and Nick over on the patio area looking out over at the beach, smoking, making no attempt to answer the door. She opened the door without looking a little surprised to see the three of them on the other side. “Hey what’s up?” She asked as they walked in the house.

“Dad is pissing Angel and me off is it ok if she and I crash here for a few days?” Aaron asked.

Alyssa smiled at him, “Ask your brother first.” She stated giving him a hug. “And Bobbie what’s going on with you?”

Bobbie looked at her she was exhausted mainly from traveling all over the place, “Looking for a place to crash before I go house hunting here in town. Ya know just temporary.” She replied as Alyssa gave her a hug.

“Yeah I know what you mean.” Alyssa replied as they all walked out towards the patio.

Nick looked over seeing two of his sisters and his brother walk out to them, “Hey what’s going on?” He asked as he noticed his brother’s pissed off expression.

“They’re looking to crash here for a few days, it alright?” Alyssa asked.

Nick smiled, “It’s totally fine we’ll make up the guest bedrooms for ‘em.”

Angel smiled at him and walked over giving him a hug, “Thanks Dad and Ginger were driving us nuts.”

Nick laughed a little as he pulled away from her, “I’ll bet...what did they do now?”

Aaron plopped himself down on one of the lounge chairs sulking a little, “She tried to be all motherly and tell us we couldn’t stay out late...and Dad was like listen to your step-mom. It’s like if we wanted a mother we’d go live with Leslie and mom.”

“I think it’s worse now that she’s pregnant…God that’s weird.” Angel stated

Nick chuckled a bit, “Well it should be we’re all old enough to be it’s parents. And B what are you doing here?”

“I’m just looking to crash here until I go house hunting.” Bobbie added.

“Permanently moving to California?” AJ asked.

Bobbie smiled, “Possibly, I miss being around the only sane member of the family.” She remarked referring to Nick.

“Then why didn’t you move by Ginger, and her family.” Nick shot back referring to their older half sister.

Bobbie rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean geek. Besides I was referring to you considering you’re the only one in this family that’s actually gotten your life under control.” She answered.

Alyssa laughed, “All of you must be psycho if Nick’s the only sane one.”

“Standing right here....go inside if you’re gonna bash me.” Nick replied.

“Oh come on you can take the tabloids calling you a possessive woman beater...but you can’t take that?” Angel asked smiling at him.

“Since when did you become little miss smart ass?” Alyssa asked.

Angel started laughing, “I learned from the best...” She retorted referring to Alyssa’s sarcasm.

That night...

“So how come you and my brother haven’t hooked up yet?” Angel asked.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, thankful Nick was in the office talking to one of the guys on the phone. “Because....”

“Because what?”

“Because she’s waiting for me to turn 18.” Aaron retorted smirking to himself as Nick walked in the room.

Alyssa rolled her eyes again, “Keep dreaming kiddo...”

Nick laughed as he sat next to her on the floor, “Seriously why keep trying if all you’re going to get is shot down?” Nick asked.

Aaron chuckled a bit, “Well if you aren’t tapping’ her someone should.”

“AARON!” Alyssa exclaimed blushing a little, “Geez make me sound like I’m just a piece of meat here.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, “What if I was living with someone as fine as you....man I’d be all over that.”

Alyssa kept blushing and buried her head on Nick’s shoulder, “Nick make him stop...”

Nick laughed a little, “Aaron cool it ok?”

“What a guy can’t even compliment a girl?”

Alyssa lifted her head up, “First of all that’s a come on not a compliment. Secondly you’re 17...can you say jailbait. Thirdly you’re family to me and personally I’m not into incest so no way.” Alyssa explained barely stifling a yawn.

“You tired?” Nick asked.

Alyssa yawned again, “Yeah...I think I’m going to go up to bed.” She replied scratching her nose.

Nick noticed the signal she gave him, a few weeks back they’d devised a plan that when they’d go on tour that if she wanted to be alone with him that she’d say she’s tired and scratch her nose...the same for him. “Ok I’m a little tired too so I’m probably going to go to bed soon anyways.” He replied as she smiled at him saying good night to everyone and walking up the stairs going into her old bedroom.

About two hours later Nick closed up the house as since everyone else had gone to bed. He trudged up the stairs and into his bedroom seeing Alyssa lying on the bed reading in her normal pajamas, basketball shorts and a tank top. Alyssa looked up from her book when she heard the door open smiled seeing Nick standing there. He pushed the door closed...but it stayed open slightly as Alyssa marked her place in the book closing it and getting up walking over to him. “So everyone went to bed?” She asked a devious smile.

“Yeah...but you better be quiet.” He answered pulling her to him as they began to kiss. He backed her up slowly towards the bed as she pulled away to take her hair out of the messy bun it had been in. She turned and threw the hair tie onto the night stand and came back lifting his shirt off of him as they continued to kiss now parallel to the bed.

Meanwhile Bobbie walked out of the bathroom down the hall rubbing her eyes. She saw the light coming from Nick’s room and decided to see if he was still awake. As she got closer she heard what sounded like two people kissing, and heavy breathing. She laughed to herself figuring she’d embarrass him for watching porn, but as she came to the door she peered in gasping at what she saw....

Nick and Alyssa making out...his hands up her shirt and her hand down the front of his jeans. She stayed a second as Nick lifted Alyssa up against him, her legs wrapping around his waist, as he lowered them both onto his bed. Bobbie backed herself away from the door going to the guest room Angel was staying in going in and sitting next to Angel, “Ang wake up.”

“Hmmm what?” She asked a bit groggy.

“You are never going to believe what I just saw...”

(**) More than a woman by Aaliyah

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen: I’ll Be

As we lie awake in my bed. You're my survival you're my living proof. My love is alive and not dead. Tell me that we belong together. Dress it up in the trappings of love. I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips. Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above. I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead. Tuned in, turned on, remembered the thing you said. I'll be your cryin' shoulder. I'll be love suicide. I'll be better when I'm older. I'll be the greatest fan of your life. ( I’ll Be – Edwin McCain)

Alyssa opened her eyes slowly adjusting to the light of the room. She turned a little hoping to see Nick behind her but only saw rumpled bed sheets. She smiled knowing he must have gotten up early to throw off the guys so they wouldn’t catch them lying in bed together. They’d gotten pretty good at keeping their relationship under wraps at least where the guys were concerned.

Her hotel room adjoined his so it made it simpler to be alone together when everyone thought they were in their separate rooms. She relaxed loving that she didn’t have to get up right away…since she was in her hotel room. She was beginning not to like the arrangement they had, being together romantically only the two of them and well Lori and Kellie and a few others knowing about them. She knew he didn’t like it either. So why did she think it was necessary to keep up pretenses?

Meanwhile Nick sat in the black SUV as they drove to yet another radio station, the third that day. He hated leaving her this morning without waking her, but she looked so peaceful…happy even.

It got to him a lot of times, that she hadn’t told him yet…it was already April and they’d been together for nearly seven months. He knew she loved him…saw it in her eyes every time she looked at him, felt it when they kissed. He wanted just three little words that was it. He guessed she was afraid still... of losing him like what happened with Collin. He hated that she couldn’t let the past go. He knew she was going to take a long time to realize how much she needed him. He just didn’t think it would be taking so long.

“So…how’s Ali doing?” AJ asked bringing Nick out of his stare off into space.

He looked over at him, “She’s fine, she likes to travel besides she’s been busy grading papers.”

“No I meant how are you and her doing…” AJ replied back.

“Oh…we’re fine…just don’t get a lot of time to spend talking since she’s working and I’m working.”

AJ rolled his eyes, “Are you and her…ya know together…Brian thinks that you two are.”

“What do you mean by ‘together’?”

AJ sighed, “Well you two always look at each other…hell you’re always staring at her.”

Nick smiled a little he knew that at least AJ would call him on how he stared at Alyssa constantly, “Well it’s a habit.”

‘Why?”

He laughed a little, “When she was going through all that crap, and after she hurt herself I watched her like a hawk to make sure she wouldn’t try it again. It just sort of became a habit.”

“She stares at you too.”

“She what?” He asked he didn’t know Alyssa watched him.

AJ laughed, “Yeah man, she watches your every move, all of us guys have seen her do it. That and she is totally in love with you, that gooey look she gets around you is a dead giveaway.”

“Gooey look?” Nick asked completely amused.

“Well yeah like she wants to jump you or something.”

He laughed at him, “Yeah right Alex.”

“I’m serious man."

Later that afternoon…

Alyssa hurriedly packed her belongings. She couldn’t believe she’d let herself be so blind. So blind not to see how bad things were becoming. She had to get there had to help.

Nick and the guys walked down the hallway joking as they walked towards their rooms all of them a little tired from all the interviews they had, and thankful that they had a couple hours to chill before sound check.

Nick stopped laughing as he saw two of Alyssa’s bags, packed and left outside her door. Nick saw Alyssa come out of her room with her third bag, her laptop bag setting it down. “Ali what’s going on?” He asked completely concerned.

Alyssa looked up her eyes a little red and puffy from crying earlier. “I have to go home.” She said plainly.

“To LA?” Kevin asked a little disappointed he’d really come to enjoy having Alyssa around, especially since she kept Nick pretty well occupied.

She sighed, “No, to Arizona….” She paused biting her lip as she walked back in her hotel room to stuff her back pack with her CD player and various odds and ends she couldn’t fit in her other luggage.

Nick knew immediately that something must have happened with her parents or she wouldn’t be reacting quite like that. He followed her into the room as the guys circled around the door, “Lissa what happened?” He asked placing his hands on her shoulders making her stop to look at him.

She looked at him seeing how concerned he was, “It came back…”

“What came back?” Howie asked wondering what the hell she was talking about.

Alyssa glanced over to him and then back to Nick, “My dad’s been sick since August…the cancer came back….he didn’t tell me because he didn’t think it was a big deal….but its worse than they thought because they’re stopping chemotherapy.” Alyssa explained biting her bottom lip forcing the tears that stung her eyes not to come out.

Nick immediately felt like he’d been hit by a line backer, her father was sick at her graduation…at Christmas and they hadn’t noticed too wrapped up in each other to realize that her father might be dying. “I’m going with you.” Nick stated firmly.

“No you aren’t.” Alyssa corrected.

“What?” He asked a little pissed she’d told him no.

Alyssa sighed, “You have work to do, the tour only has a week left or so…when you’re done come out but not until then.”

“Yeah man after the tour all our radio interviews and things are going to be by phone so it’ll be fine.” Kevin reassured. “In fact we’ll all come out there with you.” Kevin noticed the worried look on Alyssa’s face he remembered feeling like that when he had to go home when his father was dying.

Nick pulled Alyssa into a hug willing himself not to cry, a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach already telling him that this was going to be a real test for her, himself and their relationship. He kissed her forehead and pulled away a little, “I’ll take you to the airport…when’s your flight?” He asked. The guys stared at them acutely aware of how protective Nick was being with her.

“In an hour and a half.”

“Ok let’s get going then security is going to be a bitch to get through.” He said taking her hand leading her past the guys grabbing the two heaviest bags.

“Be safe ok?” Kevin asked smiling a little as each of the guys gave her a hug. In the few months they’d known her she’d become their little sister…someone to protect.

“I will, I’ll call Nick’s cell phone when I get there ok?” She replied returning Kevin’s smile with a tight lipped fake one.

The whole way to the airport was spent in silence as Alyssa stared out the window holding onto Nick’s hand as he played with her fingers. He took her to security after two of her bags had been checked stopping a few feet from where the line began. He looked down at her from under his baseball hat and kissed her slowly wishing he could go with her. He broke away a second later, “I love you so much.”

She smiled at him a little trailing her hand over his cheek before pulling him back down into a kiss. “I’ll call when I get to my parents place ok?”

He pulled her closer not wanting to let her go seeing the tears beginning to form in her eyes, “Ok, call me anytime day or night…if you need anything I’m here ok?” He replied bringing his hands up to cup her face wiping away a few tears with his thumbs.

“You know I will…I can’t survive without you.” She admitted.

He grinned a little happy that she at least gave him some inkling of how she felt, “I know, be safe.”

“I will.” She said leaning up to give him a quick kiss before walking away.

“I love you.” He said as she walked away unsure if he heard her.

Alyssa smiled a little as she walked away and replied under her breath, “I love you too.”

That night…

Mary heard the doorbell ring walking over opening surprised to see Alyssa standing on the other side, “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Alyssa walked in throwing her bags on the floor not caring one bit if she broke something, “Why didn’t you tell me!?” She exclaimed she knew she shouldn’t yell but she was tired and angry.

Mary sighed, “Your father didn’t want you kids to know that he was sick…he didn’t want you to worry.”

Alyssa immediately looked indignant, “Why did I have to learn from my BROTHER that my own FATHER is dying!”

“Because I asked Clark to call you, he’s here with Lori already, Olivia and Angela will be here in the morning, Kellie’s in town as well…”

“The guys are coming too as soon as the tour is over which is this weekend.” Alyssa added.

“Why don’t you call Aaron, Leslie, Angel, and Bobbie, I’m sure they’d come stay as well.”

Alyssa nodded in agreement, “I better call Nick…” She said before trudging up the stairs to the bedroom she grew up in. She walked in seeing all the posters on her walls. Movie posters mainly, she had all her favorites up there, Star Wars, Pretty Woman….The Nightmare Before Christmas. She smiled to herself seeing the poster reminding her of Nick.

She looked out the window seeing her father down at the barbecue grill...to the casual observer he didn’t act sick...but he looked it... his face pale his once bright green eyes now faded and clouded with pain. But he hid it well. She walked over to her bed that remained in the corner of the room and sat down on the light blue comforter. She pulled out her sidekick hitting the speed dial to call him.

“Hello?” Howie answered.

Alyssa smiled into the phone, “Hey D...it’s Ali...Carter there?”

“Hey Ali, yeah he’s here let me go get him.” Howie replied before walking out of the dressing room seeing Nick signing autographs. He walked up and said, “Nick it’s Ali.”

Nick took the phone from him, “Thanks D....Lissa what’s up?” He asked into the phone cradling it as he signed a couple more autographs before Frank tapped him on the shoulder signaling it was time to go.

“I’m at my parents place, Lori and Clark are here already....I’m going to call your siblings see if I can get them out here too.”

Nick sighed as he walked out to the bus getting on it, “How’s your dad?” He asked sitting down on the couch in the back next to the other guys.

“I haven’t gone in to check on him yet...he’s actually cooking if you can believe that. He’s on morphine to keep him out of pain but he won’t let that stop him. When I had talked to him on the phone when I was at the airport he’d told me that if he’s gonna go, he’s gonna go out with a bang...so expect a party or something like that.” Alyssa replied trying her best not to cry.

Nick noticed the slight waiver in her voice, “Hey...don’t worry I’ll be there in a couple days.”

“I know it’s just I wish you were here right now....I don’t think I’ve ever....” Alyssa trailed off.

“Ever what?” He asked.

‘Loved someone so much’ she thought, she decided against saying that and instead replied, “Needed you this much.”

He smiled a little into the phone, “I’ll be there before you know it. OK?”

Alyssa sniffled a little, “Yeah call me later tonight.”

“What time is it there?”

“8:30.”

“It’s 11:30 here.”

“I know three hours, call me before you go to sleep ok?”

“Ok....be careful and tell your dad that we’re all coming out soon.”

Alyssa smiled, “Ok.” She replied pressing the end button disconnecting the call.

Nick set his sidekick down, he knew that if he tried to say that he loved her on the phone that she’d probably freak out on him. Especially since the guys were in the room. He just wished she’d say it....just once.

Later that night....

Nick picked up his sidekick...he couldn’t sleep. He needed to hear her voice. He dialed her number hearing it ring smiling when he heard her pick it up. “God I needed to hear your voice...” He replied.

Alyssa giggled a little and smiled into the phone, “Needed to hear my voice or looking for phone sex?”

He laughed, “No I can’t sleep....without you here....”

“I know what you mean...I can’t get comfortable that and my pajamas are all constrictive.” She admitted.

“You got used to sleeping naked huh?”

“Yeah and in this house sleeping naked isn’t exactly an option.”

He smiled a little into the phone, “Well you’d be naked if I were there.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Is that all you think about?”

“Lissa...” He began.

“Don’t say that...” Alyssa interjected.

“Don’t say what?”

Alyssa sighed, “My name like that.”

“Why?” He asked.

She sighed again thinking a moment, “Because it makes me miss you more.”

“I know….the guys were giving me a hard time about you today.”

She smiled a little, “What did they say?”

“Brian is convinced that something is going on with us….Alex is beginning to think so too. That and they heard us the other night.”

“Heard us?”

“Yeah I told them that it was just some girl I met at a club Kevin and Howie bought it, Brian and Alex are suspicious.”

Alyssa laughed a little, “You sound frustrated.”

“I am, I really want to just tell them about us, I hate lying to them.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “I know, I don’t like it either but now is definitely not the right time to tell them and you know why we haven’t.”

“I know, I know….I just….I love you and you know me I don’t like keeping things a secret from my friends.”

Alyssa sighed, “I know you don’t….but we will eventually ok?”

“When?” He asked he knew he wasn’t going to get an answer from her.

She rolled her eyes, “When the time is right I promise you.”

He smiled into the phone glad that she gave him a little something, “God I miss you…” He unintentionally said out loud.

“What are you doing right now?” She asked as she shifted against the pillows on her bed.

He smirked a little, “Lying in the hotel bed….you?”

“I’m in bed too in my old bedroom…You know I kinda wish I would have kept the posters of you up in my room.” She said laughing a little remembering when her room used to be covered in Backstreet posters until she turned 16.

“Why…?” He asked a little amused by her statement.

She laughed a little more, “It’d be more like you were here….although you have changed quite a bit from the scrawny 16-year-old I met.”

He rolled his eyes he knew he’d changed he thought that most of the changes weren’t the best but he was still comfortable with himself. “How so?” He asked wanting to know what she thought of the way he looked. She never really talked about looks with him…since she never really cared he didn’t think.

“Oh please you know you’re good looking.”

He laughed, “You know me and that I think I’m just normal…nothing special.”

She laughed at him rolling her eyes, “Google yourself….better yet Google your ass girls seem to love it for some odd reason.” Alyssa replied with more than a hint of sarcasm.

He had to laugh, “What?”

“There are fan sites on the web dedicated to not only you but to certain body parts….some of which I thoroughly enjoy.” She replied giggling a little.

“Oh my God…I’ve never understood the fascination with me.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes and giggled a little, “Hmmm let’s see you’re hella talented musically and otherwise, got a great smile, good sense of humor, the tattoos and piercings are a plus….” She paused thinking a moment.

“And?” He prompted enjoying the considerable ego boost she was giving him.

“And what? You were cute when you were 16...”

He laughed a little, “Yeah scrawny and annoying? Reminds me of Aaron.”

Alyssa laughed at him, “You were only annoying some of the time....and now....”

He smiled a little curious to what she’d say, “Liss just say what you’re thinking.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “What I can’t think that my boyfriend is hot and irresistible?”

“Boyfriend?” He was a little shocked she’d called him that, she’d never said it before then.

Alyssa caught herself, “Damn I was hoping you wouldn’t catch that.”

“I did....so does that mean you’re my girlfriend?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes laughing a little, “....Yeah....if you want me....”

“You know I do. Question is do you want me.”

She smiled, “Who wouldn’t?”

He laughed a little, “What?”

“I said who wouldn’t want you? Seriously now you may not think so but I’m not the only one who wants you. Talented...intelligent...and hot what’s not to want?”

“God stop it...I’m....”

“Don’t say that you aren’t. You are. I love that you act all dumb in public and hide how intelligent you really are. Seriously you don’t realize what I see in you do you?” She interjected.

He blushed a little, “I could say the same about you....I’ve watched you grow from a little girl into a stunningly beautiful woman.”

Now it was her turn to blush. “What do you see in me?”

“Everything...my best friend...”

“No I mean why are you attracted to me?”

He rolled his eyes at her modesty about herself, “Have you looked in the mirror?”

“Yeah, I don’t see anything special.”

He rolled his eyes again shifting on the bed. “I’ve always been attracted to you in one way or another. Especially after you grew up...damn...you’re the type of woman I’ve always said I wanted.”

“And what type is that?”

“Alright I’m going to level with you....you’re intelligent, sexy as hell, feisty...caring.... what more could anyone want?”

She smiled, “You think I’m sexy?”

“I’m a guy Lissa I have eyes, I love what I see. Besides no one else knows what you look and sound like when I’m...”

“God don’t get me started about that...” Alyssa interrupted feeling that dull ache wishing he was there with her. “You have no idea what you do to me do you?”

“Why don’t you enlighten me then?...”

Two days later....

Nick stared at the photo in his hands the edges worn from holding it. He smiled at it tracing her silhouette with his thumb as he looked at it seeing Alyssa smiling at him as they sat staring at each other on the edge of a stage, she had her hair up in a messy bun and wore her ‘nerd’ glasses as she liked to call her light blue tinted fake glasses. He remembered it well Andre had taken it at the first show’s sound check just a month and a half before. Kristin and Leighanne flopped down on either side of Nick in the airport as they awaited their flight. “So, what’s the deal with you two?” Leighanne asked.

“What?”

Kristin laughed a little, “You may be able to fool them but you can’t fool us. You two have been sneaking around with each other.” She explained.

His eyes grew wide as he looked at them both, “How?”

“Well we did the math, all the nights that you said you’d met a girl at a club, you had gone with Alyssa and comeback with her.” Leighanne began.

Kristin smiled at his expression, “Also we met her when she was still a virgin, and she isn’t now. And well you two aren’t the quietest of people.”

“Damn…” He spoke as he looked over at the others, “Do they know?”

They both smiled at him, “No, we decided that if you two had tried this hard to keep it a secret that we’d honor that….” Leighanne comforted.

“However, you have to tell them eventually. We know you love her.”

“But does she love me?”

Leighanne smiled, “You think she’d sleep with you if she didn’t?”

“Or whisper that she loves you right after you fall asleep?” Kristin added.

He rolled his eyes, “She does not do that.”

“Umm yeah she does honey we saw it. You had fallen asleep on the couch and she thought no one else was around so she kissed you and said it.” Leighanne explained putting her hand on his shoulder.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because we thought you should know that we know about you two and we’re willing to help you out.”

He looked at them, “How?”

“First of all we’ll keep those four busy so you can spend time with her…”Kristin replied then looked at Leighanne.

“The rest is up to you…”

Meanwhile…

Bobbie walked over seeing Alyssa lounging on a chair in the shade talking with Angel. She smiled and walked over to them under the big willow tree in the backyard she plopped down next to them and laughed. “Seriously now, Bobbie don’t you think Ali and Nick would be perfect together.”

Alyssa blushed trying to brush off the comment, “Ok Ang I think we’ve tortured her enough.” Bobbie chided laughing a little bit.

“Thank God.” Alyssa exclaimed before taking a sip of her lemonade.

“So when did you lose your virginity?”

Alyssa choked, “WHAT?!? Wait you can’t just assume that…I’m not a…”

Bobbie and Angel laughed, “Ok so how long have you enjoyed having sex with our older brother?”

Alyssa stared at them both wide eyed, “Ummm what are you talking about?”

“I saw you together, his hands were up your shirt and your hand was down his jeans.” Bobbie countered.

Alyssa felt her heartbeat quicken and her breathing become shallow, “When?”

Bobbie laughed a little noticing Alyssa’s demeanor shift. “Well when Aaron, Ang and I visited back in February I had gone to the bathroom that night and I guess you two hadn’t closed the door all the way because when I came to it I saw you two like that and well I was a little shocked.”

“Damn does anyone else know?”

“No I didn’t tell Leslie or Aaron…especially since he’d freak out since he’s all in love with you.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Thanks and why does he still try, he knows that I won’t go for it.”

“I think he knows that but he enjoys watching Nick squirm when he tries to put the moves on you. He thinks that by doing that it’ll get him a chance to get there before Nick.”

Alyssa laughed a little, “Little late for that.” She replied as the three of them busted out laughing.

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen: Sweet Euphoria

*******************************

Nick Narrating:

I cannot believe this…Kristin and Leighanne know, and seems they’ve known for quite some time now. Shit…I guess we aren’t as sneaky as we originally thought.

Ah but hell I’m in love I don’t care.

I know this whole secret crap is getting to Lissa too. She wants to say it I know it, and from what Leigh and Kris have said that she says it before she falls asleep… after I’m already out.

Damn I’m gonna have to fake falling asleep one night just to hear it….but if I do hear it I’ll flip out. I’ve heard her say it of course to Kel and Lori seen it written in her handwriting but nothing’s like hearing “I love you” come out of the one person you want to hear it come out of most.

Hell I want to tell everyone I’m so sick of waiting for her to come around, I hate lying to the guys. They are my family, my friends. They’ve been there for me when Alyssa couldn’t be hell I owe them big time, they were there through all this tabloid bullshit that I keep ending up in whether it’s true or not. They’re my brothers for lack of a better term.

Which leads me to my actual brother….what the hell is he going to think about Alyssa and I?

He’ll be pissed off that’s for sure. I know he has absolutely no chance with her whatsoever but still the boy is in love with her…or so he’s told me on many occasions.

God I’m a terrible brother, taking the one girl he really cares about and making her mine. But she loves me I know she does. Doesn’t she get a say in who she wants to be with?

I was reading the list she made the other day which is pretty common for when I start to doubt her feelings for me. Some of the things on there are kind of funny, a little kinky, romantic….hell that pretty much describes her. The past nearly 7 months now she’s been the absolute perfect girlfriend. Feisty, and aggressive, yet not clingy and hypersensitive.

Come to think of it I’ve been the clingy one, always doing something to touch her, I’m always playing with her fingers or her hair….damn I never thought I’d ever say this but I love her hair.

Seriously it’s down to right above the small of her back in thick layers….which is why I love it when she’s on top, it flies everywhere and falls down to frame her face….that right there is just amazing. You’d have to be a guy to understand the logic but it’s something completely raw and sexy about a woman with long hair.

Sometimes I wonder though what if we didn’t go through with the pact….would we have eventually gotten to this point? I know that if we hadn’t she might not be with me, she’d probably be with Alex. They’ve got a lot in common…both had addictions they kicked….Alyssa’s was cutting herself…… But God her with someone else…I can’t even begin fathom that.

Actually she’s got a lot in common with all of us. Her and Howie workout all the time mostly running. She listens to Brian gush over Baylee singing all the old songs. Kevin and her relate about their fathers both having had cancer, and they both play the piano…which by the way hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

We got to go home for like a couple days to shoot a video and I came in from just walking around on the beach and I see her at the Steinway we got as a present from her parents, in just her bikini and board shorts. She was playing some song by Beethoven or Mozart or whoever all I know is that she was beautiful so focused on the music she didn’t even know I was there until I began clapping when she finished.

Every little thing she does makes me see how much I need her in my life. All the joy she brings, being with her is paradise, true we argue, we fight….but we eventually make up both apologizing for the stupid things we said in the heat of the moment….every good and solid relationship goes through this.

Leigh and Brian have had some knock down drag out fights in their past, hell Kevin and Kristin would fight break up and then the next day they’d make up. I know why we argue, its testing our boundaries, how far we’ll go before we’re sick of each other. Mostly it’s diffused pretty quick but sometimes, when we’re on the subject of us and what her feelings are it gets heated pretty damn fast to the point once we were screaming at each other. It scared the wits out of Kellie and Lori, they’d never seen us like that before.

But when it comes down to it as much as it frustrates me that Alyssa has difficulty in emotionally opening up to me……

She’s worth all of it and more…

End Narration

***************************

Nick and the guys walked out of the airport and into a very bright Arizona day. It was pretty nice outside for Arizona standards at least. The guys laughed when Nick took off running when he spotted Alyssa standing with her mother, brother, and Nick’s sisters.

He dropped his bags when he got close and pulled Alyssa into a hug twirling her around a little making her laugh before setting her down and being attacked by his younger sisters. “Mary, it’s nice to see you.” He said politely pulling her into a hug.

“Honey we missed you so much here.” She answered back smiling brightly.

He smiled back feeling immediately at home going over to Alyssa as they smiled at each other. All the guys walked up laughing at the scene before them. Leighanne and Kristin both looking at Alyssa and Nick and how they interacted with each other. He leaned over whispering in her ear, “I missed you.”

Alyssa smiled whispering back, “Missed you too…you don’t know how much.”

“Ok kids everyone ready to head out of here?” Mary asked.

Alyssa smiled, “Yeah girls get in the car, I’m driving, tall people in front only.” She said with a laugh her and Nick being the tallest ones.

“Alyssa dear?”

“Yeah Mom?”

Mary smiled at her daughter, “When you get back to the house will you go over to Jenna’s she said she had a recipe book for your father and I hadn’t had the chance to stop by.”

“Yeah sure mom, see ya at home.” Alyssa said getting into her father’s Durango.

“All right everyone Clark is almost finished loading up all the bags and we’ll be off.”

Kristin smiled, “SO what’s the sleeping arrangements?" She asked hoping that they would have enough room. They all piled into the conversion van/camper.

“Well Kevin and Brian and Leighanne and Baylee and you get the two bedroom guest house for some privacy if you want. Nick’s sisters get the guest bedroom. Howie, Alex and Aaron get the biggest room the game room the couches in there are huge and really comfortable. Lori and Clark are in Clarks’ room, Olivia and Angela are in her room, and Alyssa and Nick are in her room.” Mary explained while Clark drove them.

“You aren’t worried that something might happen between Ali and Nick?” Brian asked.

Mary smiled and turned in her seat to face them, “Trust me if you want any sleep at all you’ll want them in the same room. We used to separate them but they’d always turn on all the lights and stay up for hours talking, and laughing, at least if they’re in the same room they won’t wake everyone up. Besides I trust that he respects my daughter enough that nothing will happen.” Mary replied smiling. Kristin and Leighanne exchanged knowing glances smiling at each other.

Meanwhile….

“Alright you four, Nick and I are going to go to Jenna’s for a few you go help my dad with the barbecue ok?” Alyssa shouted as the girls ran into the house. Alyssa turned to Nick smiling a little as they walked over to Jenna’s place next door ringing the bell.

“Hey, you two come on in.” Jay answered brightly as he opened the door letting them both in.

“Jenna home?”

Jay smiled, “Yeah she’s out back come on.” He replied leading them through the home to the back patio seeing Jenna at the bar mixing drinks.

“HEY!” She shouted when she saw who had walked in. She hurried over pulling Nick into a small hug. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, damn kid you look good.” Jenna stated making him blush a little.

Alyssa smiled pulling Jenna off to the side for a second, “Hey where’s that recipe book for my dad?”

Jenna smiled, “It’s in the kitchen on the shelf with all the other cookbooks it’s for Cajun cooking.”

“Ok, and ummm I need a favor….”Alyssa said looking around for a second.

Jenna looked at her a little concerned, “What is it honey?”

Alyssa looked over seeing Nick talking with Jay and turned back to Jenna, “Can I borrow a guest room for a little while?” She asked.

Jenna looked over at Nick smiling a little knowing what Alyssa was hinting at, “Still hiding it from all of them I see.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Please Jen I promise not to make too much of a mess.”

Jenna laughed, “Ok be as loud as you want Jay knows. Just don’t take too long or they’ll get suspicious but I’ll try to cover for you.” She stated as Alyssa pulled her into a hug thanking her before walking over to Nick taking his hand leading him inside the house and up the stairs.

“What was that about?” Jay asked smiling at his wife.

Jenna laughed, “They missed each other.”

Meanwhile Alyssa led Nick up the stairs coming to the first spare bedroom she found opening it pushing him inside. She turned and shut the door knowing that Jenna wouldn’t walk in unless it was an emergency.

Alyssa turned around to see Nick staring at her. She walked over to him slipping out of her flip-flops and taking off her polo shirt as he did the same, she smiled at him before pulling him to her leaning up and kissing him slowly realizing how much she missed him as he pressed her up against the wall.

She ran her hand on his shoulder blade feeling something plastic breaking the kiss to look at him strangely. “What is that thing on your back?” She asked a little concerned.

He laughed a little, “I quit smoking…”

Her eyes lit up at his statement…true he’d never smoked around her but she hated it nonetheless. “Seriously?" She asked.

“Yeah I know you hated it and I only did it when I was stressed out.” He replied giving her a small kiss. She broke away a minute later and smiled at him unbuckling his belt and undoing his jeans slipping them off with his boxers in one swift tug. He stepped out of them as he unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor as his other hand disappeared under her jean skirt. She threw her head back not caring the loud noise she made when the back of her head collided with the wall. He quickly got her skirt off and lifted her up against him as they kissed carrying her to the bed in the room laying her carefully on it not breaking the kiss. He trailed his kisses down her neck to her chest as he moved hand to gently graze across her, her back arching against him. “God I almost forgot how good your skin tastes.” He mumbled against her skin.

She whimpered as he withdrew his hand only to replace it with his mouth making her squeal in delight. He looked up at her as he moved his hands to grip her hips laughing a little to himself at how he’d have to hold her still sometimes. Alyssa began to shake a little that familiar feeling she’d become so accustomed to beginning to wash over her as she sighed his name. When she felt him begin again only at a different angle she pulled at him to look up at her, “We have time for that later…”

He smiled a little and moved up her body to kiss her as her hand wound around him guiding him exactly where she wanted him. A sigh of relief came from both of them as he slid in. Nick gathered her close as their eyes locked and began to move slowly almost too slow. Alyssa raked her nails down his back just hard enough to motivate him to go faster but not hard enough to leave marks.

He leaned down kissing her as she smiled into the kiss making him smile back at her as they began to move faster.

Meanwhile….

Mary walked out on to the front porch seeing Nick’s siblings but no sign of Alyssa or Nick anywhere. “Honey have you seen them?” She asked Jamie.

“Nope, the girls said that they were going over to Jenna’s.”

Mary smiled, “I’ll go over and check on em then.” She replied walking over the yard and up to Jenna’s front door ringing the bell.

Jay opened the door smiling warmly, “Hey Mary what’s going on?” He said brightly.

“Oh nothing just wondering where my daughter is Jenna dragging her all over the house to show her all her new clothes and things?”

Jay smiled a little bigger, “Yeah you know my wife, shopping queen…I’ll send them back over for you.”

“Thanks just tell them dinner is almost ready.” Mary replied saying goodbye as she walked back over to her house climbing up the steps to door.

Simultaneously Jenna ran up the stairs to the guest bedroom having heard Jay and Mary’s conversation. She flung the door open seeing them just finishing getting dressed. “Where’s the fire?” Alyssa asked laughing a little.

Jenna rolled her eyes, “Your mother just came over looking for you, thankfully Jay covered and said I was showing you some of my new clothes.” She laughed a little seeing them, hair all mussed clothes disheveled. “And by the way go to the mirror before you leave and fix the bed head or everyone will know.” She remarked causing Alyssa to blush a little.

Alyssa went over to the mirror running a hand through her long and tangled tresses. As Nick did the same just without the mirror, “Thanks for covering…”

Jenna smiled, “Well you know anytime you two need some time ‘alone’ come on over. I have one stipulation though…”

Alyssa slipped on her shoes and walked over to them, “And that would be?”

“You have to tell everyone…before you leave Arizona.” Jenna stated smirking a little handing Alyssa the cookbook that Jameson had asked for..

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “You know that might not be a problem….but we’ll see ok?”

“Ok hon, come on over tomorrow alright?”

“Sure.” Alyssa smiled as Nick passed them going outside to the front yard. Alyssa followed not long after as they went to the side gate leading to the backyard. They walked over seeing the guys and Nick’s siblings, along with Leighanne, Baylee, and Kristin all sitting around joking with Alyssa’s family.

“Nice to see that you two decided to make an appearance!” Jameson called out to them the first to notice their presence.

Alyssa laughed, “Here Dad that cookbook you wanted from Jenna.” Nick took the last chair around the table. Alyssa walked over noticing there weren’t any chairs left she went to go inside and get another when Nick grabbed her wrist and pulled her to sit across his legs and wrapped an arm around her waist. She shot him a glare and tried to get up, which only made him tighten his grip around her waist. “Nick! Come on let me up will ya?”

“Why?” He said smirking at her.

She glared at him even more, “Because I want a chair of my own thank you.” She stated finally wriggling out of his hold.

“See I told ya she wants me bro!” Aaron shouted cackling.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Not in this life kid.” She shot back as she went inside grabbing a chair and pulling it up in between AJ and Nick.

“Aaron seriously if she’s gonna date anyone she’d date me.” AJ replied putting an arm around Alyssa’s shoulders.

Nick shot him a glare and Alyssa looked at them both and started laughing, “Guys stop it ok?”

“Aww I’m just stating a fact.” AJ retorted.

“What makes you think I’d date you Alex?” She shot back.

AJ feigned shock, “Shot down!” Kevin added.

“Damn straight.” Alyssa said causing everyone to crack up.

Later that night...

“Is it just me or did my parents look a little suspicious at us?” Alyssa asked as she walked into her bedroom from her small bathroom with her toothbrush still in her mouth.

“A little.” Nick looked over at her laughing a little as she disappeared into the bathroom again. He looked through her CD collection that she never went anywhere without. He pulled out one of her favorite CDs popping into her little boom box she had in her room. She came out of the bathroom smiling at him as he pulled her close swaying softly to the music.

‘Sweet Euphoria mine is the heart you own. You lost the grace of the hands that harmed you, in the daze of a thousand yawns. Lost my love, as it is I'm truly gone. In your morning I will sleep.’

“This should be our song….” Alyssa stated randomly.

He looked down and smiled at her, “And why is this one so different than the other 10 thousand you say should be our song?”

She looked up smiling a little, “Because it describes us. Listen to the lyrics…” She replied and began to sing the lyrics under her breath…

‘And in your aching hour, time wilts like flowers. Sleeping on land-mine pillows. Tired angels save my love for the lasting one. Sweet Euphoria mine is the heart you stole. Touched and broken are the things you love. Using stars to light your candles. Warms my face but I can't remember yours. Gone are your dandelions falling like mine. Falling like daydream mangos. Diving swallows. Save my love. Save my love. Save my love for the lasting one. Sweet euphoria.’(**)

The song began to fade away as they reluctantly pulled apart. Alyssa moved to her bed turning down the comforter and sheets. “Alright explain to me how that song describes us?” He asked as he sat down on the bed facing her as she did the same.

She rolled her eyes, “The song is like a poem that describes two people who are together and in their relationship they have many painful trials. That describes us. All the pain we’ve went through during our friendship and now that we’re together we’ve seen our fair share of fights and now that my dad’s sick again it’s kind of a no brain-er.”

He thought a moment, “Damn I never thought of it that way. Sure we’ve been through hell and back but that’s what friends are there for. Friends are for the hard times to have someone whose got your back.”

“I know, but I think all that we’ve been through has been a catalyst for what we have now.”

He looked at her laughing a little bit at her insightfulness, “Since when did you become ‘Miss Relationship Genius’??”

“I’ve always been that way you just never noticed.” She shot back.

(**) Sweet Euphoria by Chris Cornell

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen: Swing Life Away

“So where are we going?” Bobbie asked as she came down with her sisters.

Angel shrugged in response and turned to look at Nick. “Probably Buzz since it’s open until 4.” He replied. “That and it was their favorite hangout in high school.” He added referring to Kellie, Lori, and Alyssa.

Bobbie smiled at her brother, “Hey I forgot to say thanks for letting me stay at your house while you’re on tour.”

He smiled back at her, “Hey we’re family, as dysfunctional our family is, us sane ones gotta stick together.”

“I know. I’m glad Leslie decided to come stay here too.”

He laughed, “I’m surprised that mom even let her get on a plane. Especially knowing that Aaron would be here.”

“Yeah but he left today to go do promotion in Europe.” Angel interjected.

Alyssa walked down the stairs seeing Nick sitting in between the two girls on the couch. “Hey you three.”

Nick looked up and smiled at her letting his eyes roam over her outfit which consisted of a short jean skirt, red spaghetti strap tank with lace trim, and red flip-flops. “Going casual I see.” He stated laughing a little under his breath.

Alyssa smiled a bit, “Official style of Arizona, jeans and flip-flops. Besides I don’t feel like wearing heels that are going to just pinch my feet all night.”

He stood up going over to her where she was standing, resisting the temptation to pull her to him and kiss her. He looked over at Bobbie and Angel who were giggling at the looks that he and Alyssa had been giving each other, “What?”

Angel got up going to the kitchen to contain her laughter as Bobbie was doing the same but as she passed by them she patted her brother on the shoulder, “Just kiss your girlfriend already will ya? The love struck looks are disgusting really.” She stated eliciting a shocked expression from Nick as he glanced over at Alyssa who was cracking up.

“Do they?....Did you?” He asked a little bit confused.

Alyssa laughed at him, “I didn’t say a word, B caught us and she told Angel.”

“Damn, we need to work on being sneakier don’t we?”

Later that night...

“Where’d Triple Trouble go?” Mary asked as they all sat in a giant booth at Buzz a local Arizona night club.

Nick smiled a little and pointed in the direction he’d been staring off at for the last ten minutes, “Over there.”

Mary spotted the three girls pretty easily laughing at how he had been staring at them. “I still can’t believe you two decided to come along.” Kristin remarked laughing.

Jamie chuckled a bit, “Well like I told my daughters if I’m going to go I’m going out with a bang, damnit! Besides you only live once right?” He replied he felt dizzy, sick even but that wasn’t going to stop him. True he was on incredibly strong pain killers but he still was sick, the cancer still ravaging through him. He needed to get out, true he never did much mostly due in part that his strength had been seriously waning the past few days. But he enjoyed the company of his family and friends, hell it even made him feel a little better knowing that they all cared.

As if on cue Alyssa came back over a little out of breath grabbing her drink downing it pausing only to catch her breath for a second before grabbing Nick, “Come on, dance with me.” He relented laughing a little getting up and going with her holding her hand. As they were about to leave Alyssa heard someone calling her name. She turned to see who it was and gasped as all the color fell from her face.

“Alyssa I’d thought I’d never see you here again!” The boy shouted excitedly pulling her into a hug.

Nick turned seeing who it was dropping his glass not caring that it shattered on the floor making everyone look up seeing a familiar face. “Jake, oh my God I barely recognized you, you look so much...like.”

“Like Collin I know mom says that all the time. But anyways how are you?” Jake asked.

“I’m doing alright, you remember Nick right?” Alyssa asked.

Jake smiled immediately, “Of course man, how’ve you been.”

“Alright and yourself?”

Jake sighed, “Going to ASU now pre-law, mom and dad are divorced. Things could be worse though. Anyways it was nice seeing you two.” He said before walking off.

Alyssa turned to Nick and led him over to the dance floor not even batting an eye. “That must have brought back some memories.” Kellie stated watching them as Alyssa moved them through the crowd and out of their sight.

“Who was that?” Leighanne asked.

Lori still a bit stunned turned to her, “That’s Collin’s younger brother Jake....God he looks just like him.”

“Collin?” Kevin asked.

Kellie sighed, “Ali’s high school sweetheart, he was killed by a drunk driver on his way to see her. She’s never really gotten over it. That was why she began to cut in the first place.”

Meanwhile finding a spot towards the middle of the dance floor Alyssa pulled him in close and kissing him. As they broke away he replied, “What’s with you tonight?”

“Is it a crime to want to dance with my boyfriend?” She shot back.

He thought a moment, “Well no, it isn’t.” She’d been acting a little weird as if going from one extreme to the other. First she was disinterested just a girl out with her friends, now clingy holding him close and out of everyone’s watchful gaze. He knew it had to do with seeing Jake. He’d grown up a lot since he’d since him last... which had been Collin’s funeral four years before. And now he could almost pass as a clone for him. Same dark hair and eyes, same voice...it was like seeing a ghost.

“Then what?”

He mulled over his options quickly and decided to drop it. “Nothing.”

After about four songs they decided to come back to the booth laughing because Alyssa nearly tripped over her own feet, a little drunk, from her previous beverages. They noticed everyone getting up as if to leave, “Where ya’ll going.” She stated giggling a bit, something alcohol always brought out of her.

“We’re all pretty tired honey, we’re gonna go home, but you two stay alright?” Jameson said smiling at his youngest daughter. He knew Nick would make sure she got home ok.

“Ok dad see ya in the morning.” Alyssa replied sitting down as the rest of them left.

“I’ll make sure she gets home ok.” Nick stated giving Jameson a quick hug.

Jamie patted him on the back, “Thanks for looking out for her.” He stated as he left following everyone out.

A few hours later...

Alyssa stumbled a little as she walked into the house giggling quite loudly. “Shhhh. You’re going to wake the dead.” Nick replied as he turned on a light.

Alyssa turned around smiling as she flopped down on the couch, “Sit with me?”

He looked at her strangely, “You’re drunk, come on let’s go to bed.” She jumped up and flung her arms around his neck and leaned up to kiss him. “Lissa stop.” He chided pulling her off of him. Getting a dejected look on her face she backed away and walked out to the patio and folded her arms over her chest. He followed her outside wondering what was wrong now. “Lissa what has gotten into to you?”

“Nothing.” She stated flatly. She thought a moment and then began to strip down to her underwear.

He looked at her as if she’d gone mad, “What the hell are you doing?” He asked as she got down to her strapless bra and matching boy short underwear and jumped into the pool.

She surfaced giggling a little, “Come on jump in the water’s great.”

“You are out of your mind…” He stated shaking his head.

She laughed a little, “Quite possibly, but I’m drunk and if you don’t get in I might drown!” She exclaimed going under the water.

“That’s not funny.” He shot back he waited a couple seconds, “Liss seriously that’s not funny…” When he didn’t get a response he began to strip down to his boxers and jumped in. Alyssa surfaced just as he did laughing at him. “That wasn’t very funny Alyssa.”

“It’s a little funny.” She said wrapping her arms around his neck.

He rolled his eyes, “Why can’t I stay mad at you?”

“Because you love me.” She replied smiling.

He looked at her a moment then down at the water, “Wish I could say the same thing about you.”

She rolled her eyes and pulled away from him, “Please don’t tell me that we’re back to that.”

He looked back up at her, “Well maybe if you let me know what your feelings are maybe I wouldn’t be so uncertain of where we’re at. It’s not fair. You get to know how I feel, and I don’t get that luxury?”

“What do you want me to do? Even if I knew I couldn’t tell you.”

“Bullshit, you do know, I see it in your eyes. Feel it when we’re together. Why can’t you just open up to me?”

She sighed trying to cool off her defensive side, “The last time that I opened up, and loved someone I lost them.”

“Yeah he died, four years ago…God why can’t you just get over it.”

Alyssa stared at him in shock, “How dare you say that… I loved him and…”

“And what? I’ve been here longer than he or anyone ever was, waiting for you to see what we have. I’ve loved you for so long, all I want is to know if you feel the same.” He explained.

Alyssa treaded water a minute, thinking about what he said, before looking at him. “I do feel the same way.” She said lowly just above a whisper.

He pulled her to him unsure of what he heard, “Say that again.”

She looked straight into his eyes seeing how serious he was. “I feel the same way that you do… I’ve felt that way God for so long now.” She paused sinking a little lower in the water and looked up before continuing, “But I can’t…I can’t lose you I wouldn’t survive it.”

He pushed a few strands of her wet hair behind her ears and cupped her face making her look at him, “I will never leave you. I won’t let anyone take you away from me I promise you that. You’re the one Liss, you always have been no one is going to take that away from us.” She stared at him as he pulled her into a kiss.

The next morning...

Alyssa rolled over noticing that Nick had gotten up before her she looked groggily over at her clock: 11:45. ‘Damn I slept a long time.’ She thought. She slowly got up throwing on some clothes and going downstairs immediately cringing at the loud high pitched laughter coming from the patio. Alyssa pulled her messy bed hair up into a loose bun with a hair tie she spied on the coffee table and made her way out to the deck.

“Well, well, well look who finally decided to get out of bed!” Mary exclaimed making everyone laugh and Alyssa cringe.

She pulled up a deck chair and flopped down on it shooting her mom a scowl. “Geez Ali wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” Lori joked.

Alyssa laughed even though it hurt, “No, got a bitch of a hangover.”

AJ laughed a little as he walked in and handed her a cup with a mysterious red concotion in it, “Drink it, trust me it helps.”

She looked at him wary of what was in the drink. But she took a large gulp figuring with his experience that he was probably right. As soon as she swallowed she got a disgusted look on her face, “What the fuck is in that?” She asked rather bluntly.

Nick laughed, “Trust me you don’t want to know. But it works.”

Alyssa glared at him, “You’re laughing at me?”

“Just remembering all those times when ‘someone’ had told me that getting drunk is stupid and only causes pain to yourself and possibly others.” Nick retorted.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Oh shut up.”

He laughed harder at her making her smack his arm. Kellie all of a sudden walked outside and flopped down into a chair with an obviously pissed off expression. “Honey what’s wrong?” Olivia asked concerned.

Kellie regained her composure and took off her engagement ring placing it on the table, “The wedding’s off.” She replied flatly.

At the mention of that statement Alyssa fully woke up and was immediately concerned, “Wait I thought everything was fine?”

“It hasn’t been for a long time. Especially now that he knows.” Kellie stated.

“Knows what?” Brian asked.

“Ali knows what I mean. But yeah he’s all pissed off because a certain someone sabotaged his relationship with you.” Kellie added staring at Nick when she said someone.

Alyssa got the idea and looked at Nick, “Is that true?” She asked looking obviously miffed.

“Uh...I wouldn’t say sabotaged so much as...”

“Home wrecker?” Lori added.

“Thanks Lori.” Nick replied sarcastically. Alyssa got a pissed off expression on her face and got up going into the house and up into her bedroom slamming the door. “Shit I’m in trouble...”Nick said getting up going after her.

When Nick had left the room, Brian asked, “So what does Michael know that pissed him off so much?”

Kellie was about to out Nick and Alyssa but Lori kicked her under the table, “OWW! Lori God!” She exclaimed but quickly shut up when Lori glared at her, “He found out that Nick had sabotaged the relationship and went crazy. I swear he’s still not over her.”

Brian looked at both girls suspiciously for a second before Kevin piped in, “So what are those two hiding?”

Kellie and Lori exchanged nervous glances, and replied in unison, “Nothing...” Each of them getting equally suspicious expressions from the guys. Lori continued, “Nothing that we can tell whatever it is it’s pretty secretive that we barely know what it is.”

“I heard it was something about Jamie’s birthday.” Leighanne chimed in trying to save the girls. Kristin shot her a weird look.

Meanwhile...

“Ali come on that was two years ago!” Nick exclaimed.

She glared at him, “That doesn’t matter, I came to you for advice, was all of that with your own agenda to get me? How can I trust you? You gave me advice that ruined a good relationship I had. How many other guys did you do this to? Did you do this to Collin?”

Nick sat down looking up at her, “God no! I liked Collin he treated you the way I do, with respect, you were so happy with him. I never lied to you I swear. All that advice true some of it was geared toward eventually splitting you two up, but it was honest. Every time you came to me you were unhappy, and I knew you’d be happy with me.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Why did you do it?”

“You want the truth?” Nick asked and she nodded yes, “Because I was jealous as all hell, that’s why. Granted that doesn’t excuse what I did but I did it because I couldn’t stand to see you with him, or with anyone else for that matter. I’ve been that way ever since Collin died and you started to hurt yourself.”

Alyssa walked over to him standing in front of him as he pulled her to sit across his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder, “I...” She began making him look at her. “I...” She stammered trying to say what she wanted to say “I... can’t believe you did that.”

“You still pissed at me?”

“No but that doesn’t mean you are forgiven. We’ll just act like I’m not talking to you when we go out there.”

Nick rolled his eyes, “Ok when can we tell them? It’s getting really hard to keep it a secret anymore.”

Alyssa sighed, “I don’t care anymore, they can know but I don’t want to formally tell them, just let them figure it out.”

He laughed a little, “Not like it isn’t obvious.”

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen: Tying Up Loose Ends

Jamie stood in the kitchen feeling dizzy, and considerably weaker than he had the first time around. He saw Nick and figured now would be the best time to do what he had been planning ever since Christmas. “Nick I’ve been looking for you.” Jamie said with a small smile.

Nick returned the smile and walked over, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing much wanna take a drive with me?” He asked.

Nick looked a little bewildered. “Uh yeah sure.” Nick replied following him out to the truck. Both got in and Jamie started the car backing it out of the driveway and out of the neighborhood. The entire drive was silent for the most part further scaring the hell out of Nick. Jamie is a lot like Alyssa very talkative and when there was silence it usually meant one thing....that they’re angry with you and trying to be polite. The car stopped by a restaurant and they both got out.

Jamie motioned for Nick to sit at one of the patio tables, still more silence, but Jamie didn’t seem mad, he seemed to be gathering his thoughts. “So is my daughter a good kisser?” He stated figuring the blunt approach would be best.

Nick did a double take, “What?”

Jamie smiled, “I’m not going to kill you relax, what I asked was is my daughter a good kisser?”

Nick sighed a little embarrassed by the situation. “Yeah, she is.”

“Good, now that you know that I know about you and my daughter I’ll get to my point.” Jamie said trying to act protective by using ‘my daughter’ instead of Alyssa’s name. “That’s my baby, my youngest, if you so much as harm a hair on her head, Clark has a nice plot of land up North, I doubt anyone would look there.” Nick got a scared look on his face and Jamie laughed making Nick even more nervous. “I’m kidding I know you won’t hurt her.”

Nick relaxed a bit, “God you scared me there for a second.”

Jamie laughed harder, “Ali’s right it’s easy to read you.”

“Did she put you up to this?”

“Hell no, Mary did. I’ve known about you and Ali since her graduation last December. There was no way that it was anything other than you and her. The way she looks at you is the way I look at her mother.”

Nick relaxed, at least now he didn’t have to worry about her father never finding out about them. “Problem is she won’t say what she feels.”

Jamie sighed, “That’s my girl, she used to be completely open with her feelings. Until she met you. Not that it’s your fault. Just that she never thought you’d give her a second glance. So she just began to hold back her feelings, and then Collin, which by the way she only dated him to get over you.”

“What?” Nick asked completely oblivious to that fact.

“Collin was the complete opposite of you at the time, she wanted to move on but his death pushed you and Ali closer together. So in a sense Collin got you two together. Albeit unconventional and tragic but he did.”

Nick was astonished, “So is all of this why you said all that stuff at Christmas?”

Jamie smiled, “Yes, you’re family. Lord knows that she loves you, has since she first came home from spending the summer with your sister in Florida. Now the real reason I brought you out here today, was to go shopping.”

Nick gave him a weird look, “Shopping?”

“Yes, but a different kind of shopping, but before we go I need to know something.”

“What?”

Jamie smiled, “Now don’t think I’m pushing this on you it’s just I want to know that my baby will be taken care of when I’m gone.”

“You know I’ll take care of her no matter what.”

Jamie smiled, “I know that but I just want to know if you plan on taking the next step with her anytime in the future.”

Nick looked at him immediately assuming her father didn’t know that they had been together. “Umm, I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.”

Jamie laughed, “I know you two live together, she’s a grown woman and I’m not concerned about my daughter’s innocence I knew that would eventually be shot to hell when she moved in with you.” He paused laughing a little. “What I’m getting at is that I’d like for sometime in the far off or not far off future, your choice. But I’d like for you two to get married…when the time is right.”

Nick laughed causing Jamie to look at him suspiciously, “Sorry I laughed, but it was so funny watching you try to put those words together and not come off like you’re telling me to marry her now.”

Jamie laughed, “See now I know that’s my daughter’s personality you’re channeling. Only she would make a joke like that.”

“We’re a lot alike weird as that sounds.”

“But anyways, you do right?”

Nick smiled, “Plan to marry her? Hell yeah I do, when the time is right though I don’t want to rush into it. It freaked me out the first time I knew I could spend the rest of my life with her. And as much as I think marriage doesn’t work, I know it’ll work with her and I.”

“I remember when I knew I could spend the rest of my life with Mary, it was our first date. I was late and she almost didn’t go out with me a second time. But seeing her stand up to me, when before I’d never had that happen, was amazing. I know everyone says that Ali is like me but in a lot of ways she’s her mother. Always making sure all of us are healthy and happy.”

“I realized it when she was in the hospital. I knew I couldn’t live without her that night.” Nick admitted.

Jamie smiled, “You know that this is going to be a huge test for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you, I’m dying, slowly, yes but I’m not going to last much more than six months maybe less.”

Nick looked down, he hated hearing that Jamie was dying, it hurt him just as much as it did Alyssa. “But I thought you were going to be fine, the doctors…”

Jamie interrupted him, “The doctors have all said the same thing that I’ve got six months maybe more maybe less. But the cancer has spread everywhere. Mary and you are the only other ones that know.”

“But why tell me?”

“Because I need you to be there for Ali, she’s going to really need you when I go. I know it’s very hard to talk about but I need to know you’re going to take my place as the man in her life.”

Nick sat there thinking, “I can’t imagine you not being here. God she’d probably start cutting again.”

“That’s why I need you to be around, so she won’t have a reason to.”

Wanting to change the subject Nick replied, “So why shopping?”

“We’re going to Shane Co.”

“Isn’t that a jewelry store?”

Jamie smiled getting up slowly as Nick rushed over to help him up, “Thank you, but we’re getting her an engagement ring…I know you aren’t going to ask her now. But since I might not be here very much longer there’s no time like the present. Plus when you do give it to her it’ll make for a great story.”

“Yeah she’d love it knowing we got it together.”

“Alright then it’s right over this way.” Jamie replied as they walked across the street to the store. It was definitely different than any other jewelry store Nick had ever been in, no pushy salesman greeting you at the door. “Tom, longtime no see!” Jamie exclaimed greeting the owner Tom Shane.

“Jameson it’s so good to see you, what can I do to help you today?”

Jamie smiled back and looked over at Nick and said, “We’re looking for an engagement ring, for my daughter.”

“Olivia tying the knot?”

Jamie laughed, “Nope, for my younger daughter Alyssa, this is her boyfriend Nick.”

Tom extended him his hand shaking it, “It’s very nice to meet you Nick, Alyssa’s a fine young lady you have good taste.”

Nick smiled, “Thank you.”

Tom walked them into the back, “Now were you looking for anything in particular?”

Jamie looked at Nick, “This part is all you.”

Nick thought a moment, “Something that fits her personality, she’s beautiful, funny, and very intelligent.”

Tom thought a moment and then pulled out the ring settings, “Now what kind of metal would you like for the band.”

“Platinum, that and silver are the only things she’ll wear.” Nick answered quickly.

“Yeah she’s always said gold reminded her of Mr. T from the A-Team.” Jamie added making all three of them laugh.

Nick looked through the different settings seeing one that would be perfect for her that had two-one and a half carat square diamonds on each side of the center. “This one.”

“Yeah, that’s nice.”

“Alright do you know what she’d choose for a center diamond?” Tom asked.

“Rectangle shape.” Jamie added. Nick looked at him weird. “Kellie and Lori did some reconnaissance for me. They said she wanted a rectangle shape diamond with the long sides going up and down.”

“How did they get that information?”

“Kellie and Lori tricked her into picking out what she would want on the diamonds are forever website.” Jamie replied.

“Damn I wouldn’t have thought of that.”

“Well it’s sort of how I got Mary’s ring, I had her friends get the information for me and then I went and bought it.”

“And he came here and it’s lasted how long?”

“Over thirty years” Jamie replied. “So what carat size do you want?” Jamie asked.

Nick sat back, “If this were me on my own I’d probably go for the biggest possible, she deserves it, she’d kill me for spending money on her but she deserves the best.”

“Well the biggest for this setting is 4 carats anything bigger would look bad with the smaller diamonds on the sides.” Tom explained.

“So total amount of carats in the ring would be ten.”

“Ten?”

“Yeah four one and half carats, two on each side, and then the center that’s ten.”

Nick laughed a little, “You’re right I wasn’t thinking right.”

The waited while the ring was made and cleaned before paying and heading back out to the car. “You think she’ll like it?” Jamie asked.

“Yeah I got it engraved with our nicknames.”

Jamie looked at him curious for a second before turning his eyes back to the road, “What are they may I ask?”

Nick smiled, “Jack and Sally, like from Nightmare Before Christmas it’s her favorite movie and she called me Jack one day and so I started calling her Sally and the names stuck.”

Jamie laughed a little, “Interesting names, I’m sure she’ll love that.”

“She will.”

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen: Hurt

What have I become, my sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end. You could have it all my empire of dirt I will let you down, I will make you hurt. If I could start again, a million miles away. I would keep myself, I would find away. (**)

Nick and the guys walked back into the house laughing, feeling great to have been able to play basketball together. Something that was a very rare occurrence for them. Brian walked over to the fridge seeing the note on it. “Guys, we’ve got to go to the hospital.” He said was he ran into the living room.

“Why what’s going on?” Nick asked. Brian looked at him and handed him the note:

Dad went to the hospital, meet us there.

Alyssa.

“Shit.” Nick replied quickly changing his clothes before they left for the hospital.

Meanwhile…

Alyssa sat in the waiting room her head in her hands worried about her father. She had been there when he had collapsed in the back yard. Alyssa looked up just in time to see Clark walk in from pacing in the hallway. “Hey,” He said sitting down next to her.

She tried her best to offer a smile but it was a weak one at best, “I’m worried.”

Clark sighed and put an arm around his sister, “I think we all are. Did you call Nick?”

“I tried he left the cell phones at the house when they went out, so I left him a note.”

Clark held his sister he’d always loved having two sisters they’d always given him advice and sometimes even asked for his. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon.” No sooner did he say that did Nick and the guys walk into the waiting room.

Alyssa stood up and walked over as Nick pulled her into a hug kissing the top of her head. He pulled away for a second to look her in the eyes, “Do they know what’s wrong?”

Alyssa sighed and shrugged, “Mom’s in with the doctors now getting the rundown of everything but um...” Alyssa paused a second her voice wavering, “We haven’t heard anything yet.”

Nick sat down pulling Alyssa onto his lap. He pulled her in close to him wrapping his arms around her almost afraid to speak because of the present situation. Almost an eternity of silence later Mary walked in her eyes bloodshot and her face pale. Everyone stood up almost immediately looking to her for an answer.

Mary’s eyes shifted to Alyssa who looked the most like Jamie, with his green eyes and dark hair. “Is Dad ok?” Clark asked.

Mary looked over to her son and shook her head ‘no’ as she began to cry again tears welling up in her eyes.

Alyssa’s heart sank, “He’s going to be ok right? ....Mom?” She asked almost nervous of the answer she might receive.

Mary sat down wiping her eyes, “Your father had a severe stroke.” She began.

“But people survive strokes like this all the time. Don’t they?” Olivia asked choked up as well.

Mary looked up at everyone seeing her children and their friends and loved ones there, “Not from ones like these. The stroke caused massive brain damage to his cerebral cortex. Basically the only thing keeping him alive right now is a ventilator.” She finished as she broke down even more.

Alyssa made her mother stand and pulled her into a hug needing the contact of her family as the tears streamed down her face. Clark followed suit as well as Olivia creating one giant hug of sadness. Alyssa looked up and over at Nick who looked like he wanted to either cry or punch the wall.

Knowing exactly how he felt she reached her hand out to him and pulled him into the group. A move showed how vulnerable she felt at that very moment.

A few minutes later they all pulled apart and Alyssa asked, “So what are we going to do?” She didn’t want to be the one to ask but knew that this had to be discussed. Jamie had made it very clear to all of them that if something like this were to ever happen to him that they were to let him go to die in peace.

Mary looked at them, “I already told the doctors your father’s wishes.”

“Can we at least say goodbye?” Clark asked choking on his words not really believing that their father the man he wanted to be his entire life was truly gone.

Mary smiled a little at her son, “Yes.”

That night…

Alyssa sat on her window sill hugging her knees to her chest. Nick walked in seeing her there. “Hey, how are you?” He asked pretty sure of her response.

Alyssa looked at him her face tear stained and her eyes puffy and bloodshot. “How do you think I feel?” She asked as more tears streamed down her face.

“I’m so sorry Lissa.” He stated sitting on her bed looking at her.

Alyssa went over and sat by him, “I just can’t believe that he’s gone.”

Nick pulled her into his arms letting her cry into his chest. He leaned back and laid them down on the bed. She clung to him sobbing she tried to speak but he interrupted her, “Shhh, it’s ok I’m not going anywhere.” He replied knowing that she was probably embarrassed for falling apart on him. He ran a hand through her hair as the other slowly rubbed her back trying his best to soothe her. He tried his best to hold back his feelings trying so hard to be strong for her.

Alyssa moved out of his grasp acutely aware of how protective he was being. She moved away across the room, she had to keep her distance. He sat up completely bewildered by her sudden actions. She turned seeing him with a hurt look on his face. “I’m sorry, I just… I just can’t.”

“Can’t what?” He asked standing moving towards her but stopped as she backed away. Alyssa sighed going into her bathroom trying to keep her distance as she grabbed some toilet paper to blow her nose. She couldn’t be near him, not let him see her be so vulnerable. “Alyssa, can’t what?” He asked standing in the doorway of the bathroom walking in shutting the door behind him.

She looked up at him, “Nick I can’t let you see me like this please just go away.”

His face was full of concern, “Baby, it’s me, come on I’ve seen you worse than this.” He thought a moment suddenly realizing why she was pushing him away from her. “You’re scared aren’t you?” She stared at him not believing how well he read her. “You’re scared that I’m going to be taken too aren’t you?”

She sunk down onto the toilet seat cover staring at him, “How do you do that?” She asked as he knelt in front of her.

“I told you, I know you. I love you and I want you to know that you don’t have to push me away, I’m not going anywhere.”

Alyssa stared at him a moment then got up going into the cabinet beneath the sink pulling out a small tin case. She looked at him again at his confused expression and handed him the case. “I want you to have this…” She stated staring at the case remembering how many times she’d reach for it after Collin had died.

He took the case hearing something move inside it. Intrigued, he opened it he stared at it’s contents and looked at her. “Alyssa…what…” He began to ask but Alyssa interrupted him taking the straight razor in her hand being careful not to stick herself.

“This is what I used to cut myself with. I want you to have it, throw it away…do anything you want with it… just take it.”

He thought a moment before speaking, “I’m a little confused why are you giving this to me?”

Alyssa sighed a little and then spoke, “I’m giving this to you, because I don’t need it anymore. For so long after Collin died I thought I needed this to feel human to feel less emotional pain.” She stated pausing recognizing the concerned look on his face. “But you showed me that I didn’t need this little piece of metal to feel better.” Nick took the razor out of her hand placing it back in the tin that was on the sink as she continued. “I know you’ve been skittish about me cutting again ever since you found out I was a cutter in the first place. And by giving you this I’m promising you that I won’t cut, ever again.”

He put his hand behind her neck and kissed her forehead then moved to lean his forehead against hers staring in her eyes. “That means so much to me that you did that.”

She offered a weak smile and replied; “I have you, I don’t need anything else.”

A week later....

Alyssa sat at the vanity table in her childhood bedroom lightly applying a little makeup to conceal the dark circles under her eyes. Ever since the night Jamie passed away she hadn’t gotten much sleep, and therefore neither had Nick. They mostly spent it with him holding her as she cried, or talking about what happened sharing how they felt. Anything to ease the pain she’d been dealing with.

Nick walked in wearing a black suit and tie, “Ali, baby, come on we have to go downstairs now.”

Alyssa shook her head, “No I can’t go.”

Nick recognized the lost look on her face and knelt down beside her taking her hand in his lacing their fingers. “You have to go, your family will be there they need you.”

She looked at him, “I can’t, I just can’t.”

“Why?”

Tears began to stream down her face, “Because if I do then that means that he’s really gone. And somehow that feels like I’m betraying him.”

He looked at her hating to see her like this, all he wanted to do was take her pain away. “You’re not betraying him honey. You’re honoring him by going. You’re showing that all those weekends out in the backyard teaching you how to play soccer meant something.”

Alyssa pulled him into a kiss only to pull away a second later to ask, “Will you stay with me?”

“Yes. I promise I’ll be right by your side the whole time."

Reluctantly Alyssa stood up straightening her black dress. “I look like hell.”

Nick cracked a small smile took her hand and led her downstairs to the living room seeing Alyssa’s and his siblings already there looking equally miserable. Alyssa squeezed tighter on his hand and looked at him for a moment.

That night...

Everyone was scattered throughout the house talking and reminiscing about old times. Most of the extended family had already left. Alyssa walked briskly through the house looking for Nick. Olivia stopped her sister, “Where’s the fire hon?”

Alyssa turned to her sister, “Where’s Nick?”

“Out on the deck.”

“Thanks.” Without a word more Alyssa walked out towards the deck seeing Nick almost immediately, still wearing his suit shirt, tie and slacks with the sleeves of the shirt rolled up his forearms, standing near Clark and Mary talking. She walked over to him whispering in his ear, “Come with me.”

He turned seeing her, eyes bloodshot. He excused himself and walked out with Alyssa who was walking quickly to her father’s truck getting in the driver’s seat, Nick followed suit getting in the passenger’s side. “Lissa, where are we going?”

Not looking at him as she pulled out of the driveway she replied, “We are going to take a drive.”

“I see that, but where to?” He replied.

She sighed, “You’ll see.”

He quieted down trying not to seem restless, or even bewildered at her behavior. After nearly an hour of driving they pulled up to a spot that over looked the city. Alyssa turned off the car and sat there for a moment in silence. “Umm, where are we?” He asked tentatively.

Alyssa wiped the tears that were beginning to stream down her face and sighed, “My Dad used to take us here when life was getting rough we’d come here to get perspective on life and understand that other people are worse off than us.”

Nick reached over pulling her into a hug as much as he could from the current position. “Please don’t cry, it kills me to see you in so much pain.” Alyssa pulled away only to pull him into a kiss pulling away a second later climbing over the center section to straddle his hips. “Lissa what are you...”

“Taking advantage of you.” She said interrupting him while unbuckling his belt and zipper letting her hand roam over him as he closed his eyes biting back a moan. She smiled a little bit and kissed him. He moved to hike up her dress feeling her thigh high stockings and continued moving upward discovering that she’d gone commando. She sighed as she moved on top of him. “I knew I wore a dress for a reason today.” He moved his hands up her back to her neck feeling her move faster only to slow down a second later. She moved her hands to cover his as she kissed the inside of his palms and moved them down the front of her making sure to drag them slowly across her body to her hips then moved her arms around his neck her eyes meeting his pulling him close to her. He tried to say something to her knowing that when she got like this dirty talk always got to her but she hushed him quickly whispering, “Don’t talk.”

She rested her head on his shoulder as she began to move faster and harder trying to hold back any sounds as much as possible but the feelings were beginning to be too much. He knew she was getting close as well as he was he gripped her hips harder and decided to break the silence between them whispering softly, “Liss just let go.” Just as he finished his statement threw her head back her entire body tensing up from the intensity of her release; the sight and sound was enough throw him over the edge as well.

Alyssa breathed deeply trying to catch her breath resting her forehead against his staring into each other’s eyes. “Thank you.” She spoke still breathless.

“For what?”

She smiled a little bit, “Just letting me do that, I needed the distraction.” She replied as she moved off of him and moved over to the driver’s side straightening out her dress and looking in the mirror to fix her hair.

“Just a distraction?” He asked fixing himself trying to hide his dismay at being merely a distraction.

Alyssa stopped and looked at him, “I’m sorry it’s just after the crappy day I had at the funeral I needed something good to take my mind off of how horrible I feel I knew that you, what happened would help.”

“I’m glad I could be of service then.” He said not even trying to hide the sarcasm in his voice.

(**) Hurt by Nine Inch Nails

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen: Moving On...

Alyssa sat out on the back deck flipping through the latest Cosmo not really reading anything but trying to look busy when AJ flopped down in a deck chair next to her. She looked over at him and then back to the magazine.

“So, are you going to speak to anyone anytime soon?” AJ asked noticing that her unusually silent behavior had been affecting everyone around her, trying to be sensitive yet disturbed by her silent treatment.

Alyssa put the magazine on the table next to her and looked him dead in the eye, “And what would talking do? It’s certainly not going to bring my dad back now is it?” She shot back. AJ got a shocked look on his face because she’d spoken to him. She hadn’t said a word to anyone even Nick since after the funeral. Alyssa softened her expression and spoke again, “Sorry, I just don’t see the point of dwelling on the fact that my father died.”

“I understand but if you’re grieving then you should be open about it. Believe me if you suppress it, then it’ll just grow and come out in ways that are really bad.” He continued.

Alyssa looked at him, “I know that. I nearly killed myself because I closed myself off. It’s not my father that I’m grieving about, well yeah I’m grieving but I understand that he’s not suffering anymore and that’s better than being here in so much pain. I’m just scared of losing him...” She trailed off.

“Who, your dad?”

“No, Nick.” She stated without even thinking.

AJ thought a moment, “You two are together aren’t you?” He asked.

Alyssa looked at him and cracked a little smile, “For almost eight months now.”

AJ’s eyes lit up, “So Brian was right.”

“Yep. Nick’s going to be pissed that I told you without him being here, especially since it was my idea to keep it quiet.”

He looked bewildered at her, "Why?"

"Because I didn't want you guys to ask questions and think that I am after his money, which I'm not. I wanted you to know me as his friend first and then slowly break it to you guys about us.” Alyssa explained.

He nodded his head, “I do have one question.”

“And that would be?”

“Do you love him?”

Alyssa sighed, “Yes, I do, very much so. I am just so afraid to say it to him, he knows that I love him, but he hates that I haven’t said it. It’s actually the only thing we fight about. He tells me he loves me and he gets pissed when he doesn’t get that statement back.”

“Ok explain why you can’t say it to his face.”

“I’m afraid to lose him like what happened to Collin. The last thing I ever said to Collin was that I loved him right before he was going to be at my house to hang out. He was on his way when he got hit.”

AJ pulled Alyssa into a hug, “Honey, I seriously doubt anyone is going to want to take away what you two have. The reason why Brian and myself have been suspicious is that we see how friggin adorable you two are together. It’s almost sickening how well you two interact with each other. That and if I know that boy he’s not going to let anyone take you away from him. Hell he threatened me when I said you were hot.”

Alyssa pulled away a little bit, “You think I’m hot and he threatened you?”

“Yeah he said ‘back off’ when I said that. Also you are hot, why do you think that Aaron, Nick and I stare at you? You’re beautiful. Yeah I like you but I won’t come between you and Nick, mainly because he treats you like a damn princess. You two are obviously head over heels for each other.”

Alyssa blushed at his compliment, “Aaron is going to be pissed when he finds out.”

“I’ll bet he will be too. Especially if he walks in on you two screwing around.”

“Bobbie already did that, we didn’t even notice, thank God we still had clothes on.”

AJ laughed, “Nick had said you were a virgin back in October.”

“Yeah, that lasted all of 5 minutes. By the way it’s a little unnerving sometimes that he knows what to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t have to tell him what I like or whatever he just knows, it annoys the hell out of me that he can do that and I’m like ‘what the hell am I doing’ you know?”

He laughed again, “That’s because he’s been around the block several...hundred times. Also he’s not an idiot either as much as he likes to act like one and he knows you, he can read your reactions to things he’ll say what you’re thinking before you’ll say it I’ve watched him do it. So I’m guessing he just applies that to when he wants to try something on you.”

“I just wish I knew how he did that.”

“From what I can tell you aren’t so bad either. Damn kid has a dumb ‘I got lucky’ smile almost every morning at rehearsals. He says it’s either a groupie he nailed or that you two were up all night talking.”

“Hmmm maybe I should change my name to Penny Lane.” Alyssa said laughing a little. “Also we were up all night...not talking though.”

“Yeah I figured when I would see bite marks and scratches on him while he would change. I love making fun of him for it.”

Alyssa giggled a little bit, “Well there is a reason for the scarves and turtle necks on my end too. Usually though the marks on me that he leaves are on my back and hips.”

A few minutes later Nick came walking out seeing Alyssa and AJ laughing together. “You’re talking now?” He asked.

“Yeah Alex tried to give me the ‘don’t close yourself down’ lecture and I figured I’d at least explain that I’m not shut down I just wanted to be left alone for a while.”

Nick thought a moment trying to hide his disappointment that she didn’t come straight to him to talk and decided to talk to her about it later on.

That night...

Alyssa sat on her bed brushing her hair watching Nick in her bathroom brushing his teeth. “Are you mad at me?”

He rinsed his mouth out and looked at her, “What are you talking about?”

“Are you mad that I talked to Alex?”

He sighed and came over to her sitting next to her, “I’m not mad just a bit disappointed that you didn’t come to me first.”

Alyssa looked at him, “You know why I talked to him instead of you?”

“Why?”

She sighed a bit, “Because I just didn’t think you’d understand what I’m going through. I know you’ve lost family before and that you are family to all of us too. I just...God how do I say this...”

“Say what?” He asked.

She thought a moment; “I needed Alex’s advice since he’s been through a lot of what I’ve been through and more. And um he asked about us.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him the truth. I am sick of hiding our relationship. I hate being sneaky and I couldn’t stand making you lie to the guys anymore.”

He sat there a bit shocked, “You told him, seriously?”

She smiled, “Yep and he asked why we kept it a secret. I told him that I was afraid they wouldn’t accept me.”

“What? Why wouldn’t they accept you?”

“Yeah that was his reaction too. It scared me and they scared me. I know how close you are to them and I was scared that they were going to think that I’m after your money or something.”

He pulled her to him winding his arms around her waist as she wound hers around his shoulders. “You do know that they love you right?”

She smiled, “Yeah, they’ve been amazing to me and I know that no matter what they would have accepted me but back then I was freaked out. Those guys are pretty fucking intimidating.”

He chuckled a bit, “Yeah they can be sometimes. It’s just they’re my family sometimes more so than my actual family and we try to protect each other. Leighanne was just as intimidated as you were when she started dating Brian.”

“Seriously?”

Nick looked at her, “Oh yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed torturing the hell out of her about how she better not hurt him. Or I’d play pranks on her. I think she almost had a nervous breakdown at one point until Brian explained that I was just being a dork.”

“Good lord I’m glad they haven’t done anything like that to me. At least they haven’t...yet.”

“Kevin might pull one of his dead pan tricks on you but I doubt it.”

“Dead pan?”

“Yeah he acts all serious like he doesn’t like you until you believe it and ask him and then he breaks out laughing and explains that only a good person would call him on rude behavior. He pulled it on Paris and she flipped out.”

“That must mean she failed huh?”

“Big time.”

Alyssa rested her chin on his shoulder and looked at him loving the look he got when he talked about the guys the admiration and respect he held for each of them showed clearly in his eyes, “You know what?”

“Hmmm?” He replied looking at his hands.

She sighed not believing she was about to say this, “I love you.”

His head shot up at her statement and he looked at her, “Did you just say, what I think you just said?”

She smiled, “You bet your ass I did.”

He turned to her smiling like an idiot. “Say it again.”

Alyssa laughed moving to straddle his lap, “I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. Talking to Alex today, he helped me see that I can’t wait around forever.” She stated as she leaned down and kissed him.

Just then her bedroom door opened and Clark walked in, “Ali...whoa sorry!” Clark exclaimed backing out as soon as had walked in.

Alyssa looked up startled by her brother’s entrance and prompt exit. She got up cursing under her breath about how no one ever knocks and walked downstairs into the kitchen where her brother was, with Nick not far behind. “Don’t you ever knock?” She asked.

“Well I didn’t think I’d be walking in on that.” Clark retorted walked out to the patio followed by Alyssa and Nick.

“Ever since we’ve been little you’ve never knocked.”

“Lissa, calm down.” Nick offered.

Alyssa turned to him for a moment glaring as if to say ‘back off’ before turning back to her brother who had begun to back away knowing full well the ass kicking he was going to receive. As if to make matters worse he stated quite loudly, “Well if I’d known you’d be making out with your boyfriend I might have knocked!”

Alyssa’s anger flared up, “You are so dead...” At that Clark took off running Alyssa running after him. Nick sat down and shook his head looking at everyone.

“Should someone stop them?” Leighanne suggested.

Nick laughed, “Do you have a death wish?”

Olivia started laughing at his statement, “We’re not that bad!”

Nick rolled his eyes, “If one thing I learned having sisters, do not piss them off.”

“And Clark was always out numbered growing up.” Mary replied laughing as Clark came running back through the yard jumping into the pool Alyssa not far behind diving in as well.

Clark got out on the other side just as Alyssa was reaching the side and got out quickly tackling her brother, “Take it back!”

“Never!” He shouted back.

Alyssa twisted her brother’s arm, “I said take it back!!!”

Clark yelped in pain, “OK OK I TAKE IT BACK!!!!” With that Alyssa stood up releasing her brother and walked over dripping wet.

Nick stood up handing her a towel. “Feel better?” He asked smirking at her.

She wrapped the towel around herself replying “Yes, much better thank you.” Alyssa then walked into the house to her bedroom quickly changing then walking back down pulling her long wet hair up into a bun. Nick pulled her by the waist to sit across his lap.

AJ chuckled at the display in front of him, “So does this mean you’re going to fess up?” He asked smiling deviously at them both.

Alyssa and Nick looked at each other and turned back to AJ saying in unison, “Nah.” They both erupted in laughter a little bit.

Lori and Kellie turned to AJ, “You know?” Kellie asked.

AJ turned his attention, “They know too?”

“Wait a second, they know what exactly?” Brian asked.

AJ looked to Nick and Alyssa both nodded in agreement, “Oh just that your suspicions were right Brian.”

Brian immediately looked at Nick who chuckled a little bit, “You lied to us?”

Nick rolled his eyes, “No, not lying just omitted a few key pieces of information.”

Alyssa laughed a little, “Don’t blame him guys, it was my idea not to tell you so blame me.”

Kevin laughed a little bit, “So how long have you been together?”

“Since my birthday.” Alyssa replied.

Kristin turned to Leighanne, “Pay up, I told you that’s when they hooked up!”

Leighanne rolled her eyes and handed Kristin a small wad of cash. “Wait you two knew too?” Brian asked still a little shocked that almost everyone including his wife knew and hadn’t confirmed his suspicions.

Leighanne smiled, “Kris and I wanted to give them what they wanted, if they didn’t want everyone to know then we weren’t going to say anything.”

“It was the same for me too.” Jenna replied. “I wanted to respect Ali’s wishes to keep things quiet.”

Brian shook his head, “Ok why keep it a secret then?”

Alyssa sighed, “Well first of all the only ones who originally knew were Lori and Kellie, but everyone kept figuring it out. Also I wanted you guys to know me as just me without the girlfriend title first. I’ve seen what happened to Amanda and Tiffany and all the girls Nick has dated, and while some of them deserved to be name called I didn’t want that to happen to me until I was ready to deal with it.”

“That’s understandable considering the way the fans have reacted in the past.” Kristin added.

AJ decided to help out a little, “Besides all of us would have been a little suspicious, we always are, anytime one of us gets involved with someone.”

“Yeah and I wanted you guys to get to know the real me.”

“Actually I’m kind of glad you kept it a secret.” Kevin spoke up.

Nick looked at him suspiciously, “Why?”

Kevin cracked a small smile, “Because it gave you two time to see where it would take you without the pressure from friends and family and obviously it worked.”

“Hmm, never thought about it that way.” Nick replied.

“I told you I had my reasons for wanting to stay quiet about it.” Alyssa shot back.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Well sorry for wanting to tell my friends, geez.”

Mary laughed at their behavior. “You two act like an old married couple.”

Alyssa chuckled a bit at her mom’s comment, “What are you laughing about?” Nick asked.

“I’ll explain later.” She replied. “So are you guys mad that we kind of lied to you?”

“Nope.” Kevin replied, “I figured that you two would eventually hook up if you already hadn’t.”

“What’s wrong Brian?” Nick asked looking at his still confused friend.

He thought a moment, “Just thinking that all those times I’d ask you about you and Ali and...”

“Yeah I lied, I’m sorry man.”

“No that I can get over, that’s alright you were just helping out Ali but the groupie excuse is what’s got me confused.”

Alyssa giggled, “Yeah that was me.”

“So should we call you Penny Lane?” Lori retorted making Alyssa and AJ bust out laughing. “What did I say?”

“Nothing just Ali said that should be her new nickname earlier when we were talking.” AJ replied.

“Wait he got to know first?”

Alyssa laughed even harder, “He asked me about it earlier today.”

Bobbie broke her silence, “So now that almost everyone knows are you going to tell the fans? And more importantly Aaron.”

“Telling the fans is up to Nick. As for Aaron breaking it to him gently and in person would probably be the best course of action there.” Alyssa suggested.

Nick sighed, “God he’s going to be pissed.”

“Why?” Howie asked.

“Because he really cares about Ali, and I...”

“Stole me away from him.” Alyssa added laughing a little. “If he has anyone to be mad at it’s himself. He knows even with you out of the picture that he has no chance.”

“Still he’s going to be disappointed.” Nick shot back.

Two weeks later...

Alyssa looked at the stage in front of her watching the guys during rehearsal. She walked over to her left seeing Leighanne and Baylee sitting with Kristin. “Hey.”

Kristin looked up smiling brightly, “Hey sweetie how are you?”

Alyssa stifled a yawn, “Tired, you?”

Kristin smiled handing her a cup from Starbucks, “Nick said this was your favorite. Did he keep you up all night?” She said with an implying smirk.

Alyssa took a sip, “Thank you but no he didn’t unfortunately, my students did. I was up all night grading finals.”

“So that’s why Nick is cranky this morning.” Leighanne added.

Alyssa cracked a small smile; “I’ll make it up to him.”

“I’ll bet.” Kristin replied with an evil smirk.

“I saw that smirk Mrs. Richardson.” Alyssa shot back.

Kristin laughed, “Sorry it’s just the guys were ragging on him about his mood saying that he must be in the dog house.”

Alyssa got a smile on her face, “They love ragging on him don’t they. I wonder what they’d say if I dragged his ass into the dressing room.”

“They’d cheer him on.”

Alyssa giggled, “I may be a freak but I’m not so much into having an audience.”

Kristin laughed a little, “Trust me your initiation into our family is being walked in on by at least two or more of us.”

“God, that’d be embarrassing. It’s bad enough when Lori or Kellie walk in on us.”

Leighanne smiled a little, “Yeah Nick has walked in on Brian and I quite a few times, at least now he’s learned to knock.”

Alyssa laughed, “Serves him right for not knocking.”

“So how come you two have been so quiet lately? Hotel walls are paper thin.” Leighanne asked.

Alyssa choked a little on her iced mocha espresso, “We haven’t had....” She trailed off still a bit uncomfortable with being so open about their private life.

“If you’re doing it you should be able to say it.” Kristin interjected.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “We haven’t had sex since right after the funeral.”

“Honey, you’re kidding right?” Leighanne asked.

Alyssa shook her head ‘no’; “I think he’s waiting for me to initiate it. After the funeral I sort of took advantage of him and I think it freaked him out a little.”

“Why would it freak him out?”

“Because there was no feeling behind it, essentially I used him to get off I think it scared him that I would do that. He’s not used to having no feeling at all with me. Even when we experiment there’s still love there. And then I’ve been completely busy with my students’ papers so I think he thinks that I used him and that I’m done with him now.”

“Aw honey you gotta make time for him too or else he’s going to feel like that.” Kristin advised.

Alyssa sighed, “I know it’s just I feel like I can’t do anything to explain my actions better than I already have.”

Leighanne smiled a little, “Then don’t try to explain your actions that will just make him feel like you don’t think that what he feels about it matters.”

Alyssa thought a moment figuring that she should take their advice, “Thanks you guys seriously.”

“No problem honey, Nick comes to us if he needs advice and we’d like to extend that to you as well.”

Alyssa smiled, “I don’t know how to thank you enough for offering.”

“Sweetie, we adore you, and Nick is so happy with you that we want to help in any way we can to keep you two together. That and you know that you can go to the guys for any advice that only guys can give.”

“You have no idea how much that means to me, that all of you have accepted me as his girlfriend.”

Kristin smiled, “We can’t not accept you, you’re too nice.” She replied chuckling a little bit.

Nick looked over from where he was standing with the guys watching the girls sit talking. He loved seeing Alyssa interact with Leighanne and Kristin. Seeing her that way reaffirmed that she belonged in his life with his lifestyle that she could handle being the girlfriend of a musician and all the publicity and attention that would bring.

That night back at the hotel...

“That was pretty fucking awesome tonight.” Alyssa stated walking into the bedroom of the suite from the bathroom wearing one of Nick’s Tampa jerseys and her hair up in a messy bun.

“What was?” Nick asked looking up from reading a book staring at her laid back yet still sexy nightwear. She noticed the stare recognized it instantly; she was pleased at his reaction even though his attention quickly returned to his book. Alyssa sat on the bed facing him making sure that the jersey would ride up to flash her upper thigh. She sat there a moment waiting for him to acknowledge her presence when he didn’t she took the book from him tossing it across the room and moved to straddle his waist. “Ali, what the hell?” He asked a little annoyed.

She smiled at his annoyance, “How else was I to get your attention walk around naked?”

He rolled his eyes, “Well now you have it, what’s up?”

She giggled at his question and the obvious double entendre she could turn it in to but decided not to considering the subject she needed to talk to him about, “Well I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what exactly?” He asked relaxing into the bed letting his hands drift up to her hips.

“About the fact we haven’t had sex in let’s see almost a month now.”

He knew she was right, and ever since the car after her father’s funeral he hasn’t felt right about anything. “And?”

“While I’m not sorry what happened in the car that night. I am sorry for making you feel unwanted.” Right there, she nailed it, exactly the way he’d been feeling lately as if he didn’t matter that much. He stayed silent letting her go on if she needed to. “I want you to know that as much as my actions have contradicted me, that you’re not unwanted and I feel stupid for not making time for you. I wanted to so much, just I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?”

She sighed and leaned over laying on his chest. “I made a big leap telling you that I love you, and I’m just scared of everything...how serious we are now. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. I just...” She explained as he pulled her close rolling them over so that he was on top. She looked into his eyes seeing that same anxiety that she felt reflected in his eyes. “Are you there with me? Are you just as scared as I am because if you are please say something.”

He stared at her before speaking; “It scares the hell out me too. Feeling this out of control. I never thought that I’d be this serious about anyone.” He stated staring in her eyes.

She brought her hand to the back of his neck bringing him down into a kiss letting her other hand slide under his shirt only to rake her short nails down his back making him break the kiss.

“Damn I missed that.” He stated kissing her neck.

She smiled, “Missed what?”

In between alternating kisses and bites on her neck he replied, “...You... scratching... me.”

She grinned even more, “You like that huh?”

He lifted his head, “Just as much as you like it when I bite you.”

She rolled her eyes, “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Know what I want, what I like before I even do?” She asked.

He smirked at her, “It’s because I can read you. When you want me to be rough there’s this fire in your eyes that says that you want me to throw you up against the wall. Or when you want me to go slow there’s this calm look you get that’s so completely amazing. That’s just some of your facial expressions there are a million little looks, and actions that are signals to me.”

“I seriously do that?” Alyssa asked not believing that her emotions showed that clearly. “It’s just I have no clue what the hell I’m doing and it’s so unnerving that you can do that.”

He grinned at her and snickered a bit at her having no clue comment, “There is no way that you don’t know on some level what you’re doing.”

She looked at him, “What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t matter to me that you don’t know all the tricks and everything. You learn by experience and trust me I do NOT mind one bit letting you do what ever you want to me.”

She ran a hand through his hair and wrapped her legs tight around his waist, “You don’t? Seriously now, I feel kind of inferior in a way since you have so much more experience than I do.”

His expression softened, “Don’t ever feel inferior ok? It doesn’t matter how much experience you have, well ok on some level it does. All the experience I’ve had, true it’s quite a bit, doesn’t compare to what we have.” He replied as she rolled her eyes, “Don’t roll your eyes I’m serious. It’s just so different something that I had barely with Amanda when we were together and it’s intense with you.”

“So am I good?” She asked grinning a little bit.

He rolled his eyes, “For a beginner yeah.” He joked swatting at her hands when she went to pinch him. “All jokes aside yeah, this is what I hoped for when we went through with the pact. I never thought that you’d want to try all the things I’d only thought about doing with you.”

“Like what exactly?”

“Like the car that night, or in your parents pool...”

“I was drunk and feeling frisky what can I say?” She interjected giggling a little as he leaned down to kiss her letting his hands begin to hike up the jersey she wore.

A few seconds later the door to the hotel room swung open, “Hey Nick, WHOA!” Nick and Alyssa looked to the door and began laughing hysterically.

“Was that Alex?”

“And Kevin, I’ll go yell at them for not knocking.” He stated giving her a small kiss before getting up walking towards the door.

She smiled, “Don’t be too long ok?”

He turned and smiled, “I’m not finished with you yet.” He said before walking out the door closing it behind him. “Don’t you two ever knock?” He asked laughing a little.

AJ looked up from his spot hiding behind a magazine and Kevin stood there laughing. “I told him to knock.” Kevin answered.

“Sorry man.” AJ replied.

Nick rolled his eyes, “I know what you’re doing Alex and I think she’s been initiated enough.”

AJ tried to look innocent, “Who me?”

“Yes you, I’m serious, guys I want to…”

“Screw your girlfriend with no interruptions?” Kevin offered.

Nick blushed just a bit but recovered quickly, “In a matter of speaking yes I would, now if you two dumbasses don’t mind.” He stated going back into the hotel suite slamming the door shut.

Alyssa sat on the bed smiling at him, “I heard what you said.”

“And?” He stated climbing on the bed next to her.

She cracked up, “You do realize I have to face them in the morning?”

“Well then I’ll make sure to give you lots of bite marks then.” He shot back pulling her into a kiss.

The next morning...

Nick took off his shirt changing into another tee-shirt for rehearsals after the morning interviews. AJ saw the scratches and looked to the other guys who saw them too and decided to call him on it, “So is Ali really that wild?”

Nick stopped for a second before turning around, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He shot back grinning like an idiot.

Kevin laughed a little and AJ rolled his eyes, “You’re damn right I’d like to know hell she can’t be that good can she?”

Nick rolled his eyes, “You may know Ali but you don’t see her like I do. You don’t get to see what she’s like at home alone with me or even around her friends. She’s different around all of you because she wants you to know that she respects you that and she’s private about what we do with the exception of her girls. She may have talked to you Alex but the only ones she will give up specifics to are her sister, Lori, Kellie and Jenna.”

“So why are you so quiet about it then?”

“Hmm maybe because I don’t care what you think about my sex life.” Nick stated quite bluntly.

“You’re not even going to say anything?”

He smiled, “I don’t need to...” He shot back walking out to the stage.

Kevin and Brian both cracked up, “Man has he got it bad.” Kevin remarked.

“He always shares!!! What the hell!” AJ exclaimed.

Howie laughed at AJ’s antics, “He’s really in love this time let him be. If he wants to talk he’ll talk.”

Meanwhile...

“Is that what I think it is?” Kristin asked smiling broadly while pointing at Alyssa’s neck.

Alyssa’s eyes got wide, “What? What is it?”

Leighanne looked up from feeding Baylee smiling. “You have bite marks all over your neck.” Kristin added handing her a mirror.

Alyssa looked at her reflection grimacing a little then laughing, “Damn I knew he was going to leave marks on me last night.”

“So you two are back in the saddle?” Kristin said with a smirk.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “So to speak.” She retorted as she applied concealer to cover up the marks on her neck.

“Are you two really that wild?” Leighanne asked.

Alyssa laughed, “Not all the time we’re just feisty and well I love it when he bites me it drives me crazy.”

“Like how crazy are we talking here?” Kristin asked she was fishing for information Alyssa knew that but decided to talk anyways figuring if it got back to Nick it’d give him all the more reason to keep doing it.

“He kisses my neck and then bites it just at the right time when we’re making out or screwing around. If we are just making out it makes me want to just violate him for it.” Alyssa replied clearly picturing how it felt in her mind.

Kristin giggled a little bit, “Typical Libra.” She retorted.

“What does being a Libra have to do with my love of being a freak with my boyfriend?” Alyssa asked chuckling a little bit.

Kristin laughed, “Because Kev is a Libra too and he has certain freak qualities himself.”

Alyssa laughed a little, “Glad to know I’m not alone in my freakdom.”

Leighanne laughed a little, “All of those guys are just that... guys... all of them have a freaky side just some show it more than others.”

“No offense or anything but that’s kind of weird thinking of Brian being a freak the way Nick and I are.”

“Like what have you two done?” Leighanne asked.

Alyssa thought for a moment, “Well we haven’t done everything there is but we’ve done a lot. We do experiment all the time mostly it’s my idea just because I want to but sometimes he’ll spring an idea on me and pretty much I’ll try anything once, maybe twice to give it a second shot. I definitely won’t regret using the camcorder.”

“You’ve video taped each other?”

Alyssa laughed, “Yep, we’ve never actually been able to sit through it before get too wound up and attack each other. Lori thought it was a DVD of just random stuff and played it on her computer with Kellie watching too and God that was just a little embarrassing, more so than all the times they’ve walked in on us. At least Clark hasn’t seen it because Nick would get his ass pummeled.”

“Aww you’re brother would just be being an older brother. Nick would do the same to any of his sisters’ boyfriends.”

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen: Tiny Dancer

********************************

Alyssa Narrating:

God I cannot believe this schedule! It’s completely insane what the record company is putting these guys through promoting the album. I’ve heard it and I love it. It’s different than what they’ve done before and yet the same too.

I’m so happy for them; they’ve been promoting this all over Europe, the US and basically every other continent that’s populated.

And then Nick did the almost unthinkable. The guys were on MTV London’s version of TRL and I was standing in the audience with Leighanne, Baylee and Kristin. Well the girlfriend question was asked and Nick replied that yes he has a girlfriend and not only that he pointed me out in the audience.

I was blushing so much and just God I was so not expecting that. They asked him a few questions and he said my name, that I’m a teacher and how old I am which astonished a lot of people. It never really occurred to me that it was unusual that I’m 21, have a master’s degree and a job as an associate professor.

All I’ve ever known was to be driven to get my education and my career started while still having fun. From the way Nick acted he was pretty damn proud of me.

Even more so astonishing is how the fans have reacted to me being the ‘girlfriend’. All of the ones that I have met have been really sweet and kind to me. Of course I’m just the same back to them always saying ‘hi’ taking pictures if they ask. The biggest request though is a picture of Nick and I together.

That’s definitely different. Leighanne told me that they’re ready to accept Nick in a serious relationship because he’s ready to be in one. I still don’t quite get it but whatever.

It’s crazy that in the midst of all of this that we even get any alone time to just be together. Poor guy is usually so tired that he just falls into bed at night.

He does however try to save enough energy for me although a lot of times I just let him sleep and then have the best morning sex. Seriously that’s just amazing because you’re half awake and still semi out of it so everything just feels more intense.

It’s insane and I’m loving every second of it.

End Narration.

*******************************

Alyssa walked outside the hotel holding Nick’s hand smiling at the fans gathered outside letting Nick stop for the obligatory autographs and pictures not entirely surprised when the fans asked her for her autograph. “I’m not famous.” She replied as she signed a magazine or scrap of paper that they had.

“You’re famous to us!” One of the girls exclaimed.

Alyssa blushed a little bit, “Thank you.”

“Liss we better go we’re going to be late.” Nick said wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

Alyssa looked up at him, “Ok,” then turned to the fans “Sorry girls, we’ll be back later though.” She stated as she and Nick walked down the street hand in hand down to the restaurant a block away.

After they ordered Alyssa laughed a little bit. “What are you laughing about?”

“Just the fans reaction, like I’m famous too or something.”

He smiled lacing their fingers together, “In their world you are famous, and they all know your name, background, family history, pretty much everything.”

“Yeah I know it’s just surreal I guess.”

He leaned over pulling her into a teasing kiss seeing a flash out of the corner of his eye. “I know it’s crazy but it’s worth it right?”

She smiled, “Of course, come hell or high water I’m your girl.”

He smiled back at her, “I like the way that sounds.”

Two weeks later...

“So we can go home now?” Alyssa asked.

Nick grinned, “Yep the album’s out and we’re going into training for the tour two weeks in LA and then three days in Florida to brush up get everything ready for the tour.”

“Yay I get to sleep in our bed again.” She beamed.

He smiled at her again as he packed his clothing and various other things he’d brought with him. “And get to see Lori and Kellie and possibly Jenna and your brother.”

“And kick them out so we can fool around on the couch and be as loud as we want.” Alyssa reminded him wrapping her arms around his neck smiling deviously.

“Hmm sounds like a plan.” He stated leaning down to kiss her. She broke the kiss smirking at him as she finished up her packing setting her bags near the door. Just as Nick was going to speak again Frank, Nick’s body guard walked in telling them it was time to head out.

At the airport Alyssa reclined against Nick looking out the large windows watching the planes being taxied in and out of the terminal. They sat on the floor Alyssa in between his legs as he played with her fingers and kissed the top of her head. “Those two are in their own little world aren’t they?” Howie asked.

Kevin looked over at the two of them smiling, “Hey I think it’s great he deserves this, with everything he’s gone through. She deserves it too she’s been through worse than him in some respects.”

“It’s sickeningly adorable though.” AJ remarked laughing a little.

“How much you want to bet he’s going to ask her to marry him within six months?" Brian suggested.

Kristin snickered, “He already has the ring.”

“What!?!” Kevin said choking a little bit on his coffee.

Kristin laughed, “Yeah Ali’s dad took him to buy it before he died. Nick showed me and it’s beautiful. However he has no plans of asking her for quite sometime until and I quote it’s the ‘right time’.”

A stunned silence crept over all of them as they thought of the possibility of Nick and Alyssa getting married someday. “What’s up guys?” Alyssa said as she sat down across from them.

“Done with being anti-social?” Kristin asked with a snarky grin.

Alyssa chuckled a bit, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Nick walked back over handing Alyssa a small bowl of fruit a bagel and a water bottle leaving him with a bagel and a coffee. “Thank you.” Alyssa said smiling at him before digging into her breakfast.

“So Ali what are your plans when you get back to LA?” Brian asked completely amused at the sight before him.

Alyssa looked up swatting Nick’s hands away from stealing some of her fruit. “Get some sleep, take a nice long shower, have Kel over for tequila shots, margaritas and movies since Lori is in Scottsdale with Clark and Mom.”

“Sounds fun.” Kristin remarked.

“It is.” Nick added making everyone look at him. “What they’re fun to hang out with.” He said defending himself.

Alyssa grinned a little, “Besides I have a million pictures to download and get printed for the photo albums.”

“You make photo albums?” Leighanne asked.

“Oh yeah my mom got Olivia and I started when we were little helping her out pasting family photos into our albums and we both have made our own now that we’ve moved out.”

“How is your mom doing?” Kevin asked knowing how rough it was losing someone close.

Alyssa sighed, “She’s alright, Clark and Lori have been staying with her to keep her occupied. Everything is just really hard right now for her with Dad not being there and all. She’s being throwing herself into work.”

Later that day...

“Wake up...” Nick said softly nudging Alyssa only to get a groan from her. “Baby, wake up...” Nick said again kissing her shoulder.

Alyssa opened her eyes looking at him, “What is so damn important?”

He smiled at her, “You gotta get up if you don’t your whole sleep schedule will be screwed up. Besides Kel and Lori are on their way over.”

“I thought Lori was with Clark in Scottsdale?” Alyssa grumbled getting out of bed grabbing her hairbrush quickly brushing through her long hair. Nick walked over as she moved her hair over her shoulder to brush through. He leaned down kissing her neck and shoulder. She smiled, “Are you trying to seduce me?”

He smiled a little bit before biting the back of her neck making her shudder and goosebumps rise all over her skin. “Would it be possible to at this point?” He replied staring into her eyes through the mirror.

She turned in his embrace moving to sit on the night table that was located right below the mirror pulling him in between her legs bringing his head down to kiss her only to be interrupted a minute later by the doorbell. “Damn it, go get the door while I change.” Alyssa said getting off of the small table going into her closet in the next room.

Nick rolled his eyes and walked down stairs opening the door seeing Lori, Kellie, Jenna, Olivia and Angela standing there. “Hey girls, come on in.”

They all walked in seeing the luggage on the floor, “Still haven’t unpacked yet I see.” Kellie stated.

Jenna looked over smiling, “I think they had better things to do.”

Nick rolled his eyes, “Yeah like sleeping.” He remarked walking into the kitchen the girls right behind him.

“So how was the promo tour?” Lori asked as they all congregated in the kitchen.

“Busy, barely got a moment to breathe let alone...”

“Get busy?” Olivia suggested with a snarky grin.

He rolled his eyes again, “Good God.”

Alyssa walked down looking suspiciously at the girls surrounding Nick smiling a little bit at the jokes and innuendo they implied. “Hello Ladies...” Alyssa said announcing her presence. All of the girls surrounded her clamoring for her attention. “GIRLS!!! One at a time!”

“How was the trip?” Lori asked.

Alyssa smiled, “It was great, I got a lot of work done, got to see the sights with Leighanne and Kristin.” Alyssa looked over to Nick who was seriously out numbered six to one. “Nick do you want to invite Aaron over since he’s on break?”

Nick smiled; he knew she was trying to make him feel less left out. “Yeah I’ll call him.” He replied going over to the phone watching the girls go out on to the back deck sitting around the large table in the shade that overlooked Venice beach that was just down the hill from the house.

“So, how many hotels did you scar?” Jenna asked laughing a little bit.

Alyssa sighed, “Not as many as I would have liked to. We were both so busy and exhausted that we literally were almost too tired to talk let alone jump each other. But that did change after the first week when we finally had the chance to be alone.”

“And?”

Alyssa laughed a little, “And we got walked in on by Kevin and Alex. Nick went and told them to mind their business and then it was...”

“Was??”

“Amazing, especially since we a slight dry spell for a month.”

“A month?” Jenna asked.

“Unfortunately yeah but we talked about it and solved the problem that had happened.”

That night…

Alyssa sipped on her margarita smiling at Nick from across the deck where he was barbecuing chicken and steaks for dinner. “Alyssa are you sure you want Nick cooking?” Aaron asked.

She giggled a little bit, “He’ll be fine he’s not that bad of a cook when he actually tries.” She replied as Jenna refilled Alyssa’s margarita glass. “Jenna, are you trying to get me drunk?”

Jenna got an innocent look on her face, “Me? Never!”

Alyssa snicker-snorted at her, “Don’t ever try that innocent look again, it just doesn’t work on you.” She shot back.

“Dinner is ready.” Nick announced turning off the grill and bringing over two plates one with chicken and the other steak. Alyssa got up going into the kitchen grabbing the rest of the food from the refrigerator and bringing it out setting it out on the table then taking her seat next to Nick.

A few minutes into dinner Lori looked over at Nick and Alyssa seeing how much they had changed. “Look at you two, you’re all domestic.”

“Domestic?” Nick asked arching an eyebrow.

“Well yeah the cooking, hosting a dinner party, how very domestic.” Lori explained quite amused with her observation.

Alyssa giggled a little at Lori, “I’m not the one who’s engaged to Clark.”

“I know.” Lori replied.

“So when is the wedding?” Kellie asked.

Lori thought a moment, “We were thinking of possibly next spring or something.”

“That’s cool, it will be weird seeing Clark get married.” Alyssa remarked getting up from the table taking the empty plates with her to the kitchen with Nick following close behind with the other plates helping her scrape and stack the dishes into the dishwasher.

Jenna walked in smiling at the sight before her loving how they interacted with each other, “Hey do we want to watch movies or play pool?”

Alyssa and Nick glanced at each other and then back to Jenna, “Pool.” They said in unison, they hadn’t played in such a long time that they certainly weren’t going to pass up the chance.

When they finished they walked into the game room laughing at the music playing over the speakers.

‘Baby, have some trustin', trustin'. When I come in lustin', lustin'. Cause I bring you that comfort. I ain’t only here cause I want ya body. I want your mind too. Interestin’s what I find you. And I'm interested in the long haul. Come on girl (yee-haw). (Come on) I wonder if I take you home. Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby). I wonder if I take you home. Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby). No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart’ (**) Don’t phunk with my heart ~ Black Eyed Peas.

The group divided up into teams of four with Nick, Alyssa, Angela and Aaron on one team, and Jenna, Kellie, Lori and Olivia on the other. “How come Alyssa’s team gets to have the guys?” Lori said a little miffed.

Alyssa stuck her tongue out at her, “Because I’m popular.”

“Bitch.” Lori shot back.

“Whore.” Alyssa retorted right before the two of them busted out laughing as Alyssa moved to line up her shot.

Lori began to giggle a little seeing that Aaron was staring at Alyssa’s ass so she walked over and whispered to Nick, “Better watch out little brother is movin’ in on your territory.” Nick looked at Lori then to Aaron and where he was staring and a pang of possessiveness shot through him. He wanted to tell him to back off but he hadn’t quite told Aaron yet that he and Alyssa were even together. Both had been too busy to even talk to each other.

The next morning…

Alyssa wandered into the kitchen opening the fridge not really seeing anything that would curb her hunger so she settled on some juice pulling out the jug and a small glass from the cupboard pouring the beverage then drinking it just as fast. Nick walked in just as she was putting the glass in the sink to be washed later she looked up and smiled at him. “So…” He started.

She walked over to him pulling him into a hug, running her hands up his back to his shoulder blades. He held her away from him so he could look at her before lifting her up and placing her on the counter making her just a little taller than him the counters in the kitchen being the perfect height aligning their hips just so. She smirked at him as he moved to stand between her legs running his hands from her knees to her hips. She leaned over gave him a teasing kiss. She broke it a second later; “Maybe we shouldn’t do this here…” She stated aware that while everyone seemed to still be asleep that they could walk in at any moment.

He knew her apprehension about being caught, “Why, makes it more exciting.” He replied putting his hands at the back of her knees and yanking her body forward so that her hips were right up against him. Alyssa tried to get him to kiss her but instead of kissing her lips he moved to kiss her neck right before sinking his teeth into her skin making her shudder and moan.

“Now that’s just fucking hot.” Jenna said announcing her presence making Alyssa and Nick look over at her.

Alyssa pushed Nick back and moved off of the counter, “See I tried to tell you.”

Nick rolled his eyes and gave a good scowl to Jenna for interrupting. Jenna laughed and she patted him on the shoulder, “Sorry sweetie.”

“Yeah it’s ok I’m going to go take a cold shower.” He said walking out of the kitchen.

“Don’t pull too hard!” Jenna exclaimed making Alyssa crack up.

“Jenna you’re terrible.”

“Yeah and I’ll make breakfast you go play doctor.” Jenna replied before shooing Alyssa out of the kitchen.

Alyssa chuckled under her breath as she walked up the stairs and into their bedroom going to the bathroom hearing the shower running. She quickly undressed and got in the shower hugging him from behind. “Liss what are you doing?”

“Jenna is making breakfast.” She kissed his shoulder moving her hand down the front of him to move over him slowly making him growl at her. He turned around backing her up against the cool tile pinning her hands above her head kissing her roughly then moved down her neck and chest as he moved his hand between her legs giving her the same torture she gave him. A few moments later he lifted her up but stopped right before he entered her. “Why did you stop?” She asked a little breathless.

“Do you want me to continue?” He asked playfully. She shook her head ‘yes’ wanting him to continue. “I don’t think you want me to so…” He said acting like he was going to put her back down.

“No don’t please.” She stated emphatically.

He smirked at her loving the fact that he could make her beg if he wanted to. “No don’t what?”

She locked eyes with him knowing what he wanted, “Don’t stop, please don’t stop.” She begged knowing that giving in would give them both what they wanted.

He smiled at her pulling her into a kiss as he entered her moving with quick deep movements as she dug her fingers into his shoulders. She broke the kiss trying to catch her breath not really caring that their sounds echoed off the tile.

“Alyssa?” Aaron asked walking into her old bedroom a little shocked to see the bed made and everything in it’s place as if she hadn’t slept in there for months.

He heard the shower going and figured he’d walk in knowing that the shower doors didn’t reveal anything below the shoulders. He opened the door a little peering in seeing the back of Nick’s head in the shower hearing the heavy breathing and what sounded like a female voice.

Just then Nick moved his head out of the way making Alyssa’s face visible to Aaron as she kissed Nick’s neck then whispered something in his ear. Aaron closed the door and walked down to the kitchen silently not quite believing what he just witnessed.

“Hey honey what would you like for breakfast?” Jenna asked as all the other girls looked up seeing him there a look of confusion and disappointment.

Lori noticed the expression on his face and walked over to him placing her hands on his shoulders, “Sweetie what’s wrong?” She asked her voice filled with concern.

“Did you know?” He asked flatly.

All of the girls exchanged glances guessing what he might be asking about, “Know about what?” Olivia asked.

“About Ali and Nick.”

“Honey, what did you see?” Kellie asked pretty sure of what he might have seen.

Aaron stood a moment gathering his thoughts, “I went into the bathroom trying to find Ali and I saw him…in the shower with her.”

“Umm, Aaron you should really talk to your brother about this.” Jenna replied.

He looked at all of them noticing similar expressions on their faces. He backed away a little bit, “You all knew didn’t you?”

Olivia moved forward, “Sweetie…”

“Don’t…” Aaron interrupted. “I can’t believe all of you knew and no one told me?”

“It’s not like that, Ali and Nick wanted to tell you, it’s just they didn’t know how to break it to you.”

He shook his head, “They could have told me the truth.” He stated moving out of the kitchen just as Nick and Alyssa were coming down the stairs and brushed right past them without saying a word before walking out the front door.

Alyssa and Nick walked into the kitchen bewildered by Aaron’s behavior. “What was that about?” Nick asked.

“I think you have a lot of explaining to do to him.” Jenna answered back.

Nick and Alyssa looked at each other and then back to the girls. “He saw you two in the shower.” Lori explained. “He’s pretty pissed off.”

Alyssa went and grabbed her wallet and keys and headed for the door. “Where are you going?” Nick asked.

“To talk to him.” She stated bluntly.

Nick grabbed her arm, “I should talk to him, besides you don’t know where he’s going.”

She shot him a defiant eye, “Yes I do he went to a spot where he likes to think about things he showed me one time when we were just hanging out. Also you are the last person he wants to talk to right now.” She softened her expression pulling him into a kiss, “I love you ok. Just please let me talk to him, he’ll listen to me.” Nick nodded letting her go.

Alyssa walked out to her car pulling quickly out of the driveway driving to the spot she knew he would be. When she arrived almost an hour later she spotted his truck and smiled a little bit knowing her suspicions had be right. She walked up the steep hill that over looked the ocean near Malibu stopping once she reached the top. She spotted him quickly and walked over sitting down next to him not saying a word.

He knew she was there, knew she’d come to talk to him but he didn’t feel like talking so he sat there prolonging the silence between them acting as if she wasn’t even there.

After 30 minutes straight of near deafening silence she finally spoke. “I won’t apologize for being with him.”

He looked down a second then back to the scene in front of him, “Not expecting you to.” He stated flatly.

“I will apologize for not telling you though. I am so sorry for that.” Aaron sat there listening to her not talking avoiding looking at her. She touched his shoulder and he pulled away. She looked down a little bit hurt but understood why he did that. “We didn’t know how to tell you. Nick didn’t want to hurt you at all that’s why we were so hesitant.”

“Did you just not trust me?” He asked.

Alyssa sighed, “It’s not that. He didn’t want you think that he’s with me purposely to hurt you. We didn’t really plan on this happening, ok maybe on some level we did but in no way do I ever want to come between you and him.” Alyssa explained.

Aaron looked at her seeing the concern on her face, “Are you in love?”

She looked him square in the eye, “Yes, I love him very much. He’s my everything it’s completely insane but I can’t help it, I tried to stop but I couldn’t.”

He nodded, “I’ve known that he loves you I can see it when he looks at you. I just wish you felt that way about me.” He admitted.

“I’m sorry honey. I feel horrible that you’re hurting. I do love you just not the way you’d like me to.” She said taking his hand.

“I know.”

“I don’t want you to hate yourself though. You can’t help who you fall for no one can.”

“Yeah and it sucks.”

She cracked a small smile, “That’s what I would say everytime Nick had a girlfriend and I’d get really jealous and depressed even if I liked the girl I couldn’t help feeling like she would be taking him away from me on some level.”

“What did you do to get over it?”

“Dated his friends. I wasn’t trying to make him jealous but I showed him that I could have a relationship too and it did make him jealous. And he’d get protective of me if I’d flirt with a guy at a club even if his girlfriend of the moment was with him. I never came between him and his other relationships on purpose, just my way of trying to see what else was out there made him see what it might be like to not have me around so much and he didn’t like it one bit. While all of this was happening I had no clue what was going on but since we’ve been together he’s told me that seeing me with other guys when we were just friends bugged the crap out of him.”

“Are you serious?” He asked.

“As a heart attack. I want you to get out see what else is out there for you before you decide for sure that you’re going to give your heart to someone. I did that and I got him. Just wait when you meet the right girl you’re not even going to remember what you felt about me.”

He sighed rolling his eyes, “You’re just saying that to make me feel better, you got the person you wanted, unfortunately I can’t have that.”

“Whose to say that Miss Right is somebody you’ve already met?” She shot back nudging him in the shoulder.

He smiled a little bit, “So why didn’t Nick come with you?” He asked.

“Because I figured I’d cool you off before he’d talk to you so you don’t slug him in the jaw or something stupid like that.”

Aaron chuckled a bit, “Yep I was damn near tackling the jerk.”

Alyssa laughed at his remark, “Would you have been able to? You’re a toothpick kiddo.”

“Am not.”

“Honey you’re skinnier than Angel.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and laughed, “So what?”

“Nick was scrawny when he was 17 too.” She stated matter of factly. “Anyways let’s go home ok?”

“Ok”

Later that day...

Alyssa and Aaron walked in the door almost at the same time making everyone except Nick look up from their spot in the living room watching a movie. “Where’s Nick?”

Angela replied, “Out back, he’s been out there since you both left.”

Alyssa smiled thanking her before walking out to the back deck seeing Nick almost immediately. He stood over near where the steep hill the house rested on curved down to go to the beach. She walked over to him hugging him from behind. He spoke without turning around, “You find him?” He asked.

She smiled again, “Yeah, he’s on the patio if you want to talk to him.”

Nick turned around and pulled Alyssa into a quick kiss. “I love you.” He stated breaking the kiss. Alyssa smiled up at him then walked back towards the house giving Aaron a stern look that he better not start anything. Nick walked over to Aaron a little nervous at what his brother might do.

“So, you and Ali huh?” Aaron stated not liking the awkward silence that had settled over them.

“Is that bad?” Nick asked in response.

Aaron thought a moment before smiling a little, “As much as I care about her, I want her to be happy and if being with you, although illogical, makes her happy then so be it.”

Nick sighed a little relieved that his brother could see some reason in all the drama that had occurred, “Thank you and I want you to know that I wasn’t trying to steal her or anything.”

“I know. You do love her right?”

Nick chuckled a bit, “Hell yeah I do, she’s just God so amazing.”

Aaron smiled, “Dude I know that already.”

Nick looked over at him and decided to tease him a bit, “Yeah but you don’t know what she looks like naked.”

“Actually I do.”

“Wait, what? When the hell did you…” Nick began ready to kick his little brother’s ass.

Aaron laughed, “Summer 2001, while you were home with her during that bad period of time she had. Trust me I’m still in the shit house for not knocking before entering the bathroom.”

“Damn, ok well you don’t know what she’s like in bed so ha!” Nick said laughing that he could still one-up his brother.

Aaron shook his head and laughed a little, “True, I feel bad that she has to see you naked in the process though.” He shot back.

Nick rolled his eyes, “She doesn’t seem to mind one damn bit.”

“Yeah don’t act so smug about it.”

That night...

Alyssa giggled as she squirmed underneath Nick on the couch. “Quit squirming already.” He chided laughing a little at her restlessness. He placed his hands on her hips trying to lock her in place.

“Well then roll over.” She shot back.

He laughed at her comment, “And move where exactly, we’re on the couch remember.” She rolled her eyes and pushed him to sit up then moved to straddle his lap. “I see how it is, you want control.”

“Please you know you love it.” She said before leaning over to kiss him as he wove a hand into her hair the other gripping her hip.

“Oh dear God.” Lori remarked walking into the living room with Aaron and Olivia.

Alyssa looked over and rolled her eyes moving off of him to sit at his side. “Do you two ever stop? God you’re like rabbits.” Olivia said laughing a little.

“It’s our house.” Nick replied.

“Your house.” Alyssa corrected.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Are you ever going to stop saying that? You live here it’s your house too.”

“How can I call this place mine when I don’t pay for anything in it?” Alyssa shot back.

“Wait you don’t pay any bills?” Lori asked.

Alyssa looked at Nick, “He won’t let me. Some girls may like having their boyfriend pay for everything but not me. I have money I’d like to feel like I own at least something.”

“Well I’m sorry that I like taking care of you.” Nick replied wrapping his arms around her pulling her closer to him.

Alyssa sighed against him, “I know and I appreciate it just you know me I like being independent.”

Nick kissed her temple as the girls giggled and Aaron rolled his eyes at the display of affection. Kellie walked in the room just then and plopped down on the floor. Alyssa and Nick exchanged a glance and he whispered in her ear, “Should we ask her?”

Alyssa nodded and decided to speak, “So Kel how’s the dating game going for you?”

Kellie looked at both of them with apprehension in her eyes, “Uh oh.”

“What?” Nick asked innocently.

“What are you two scheming now?” Kellie asked.

Alyssa laughed a little bit, “Well Nick and I were wondering if you’d like to maybe...”

“Go on a date with Alex.” Nick finished.

“No.” Kellie answered flatly.

Alyssa did a double take; “Wait why?”

“Yeah seriously Alex likes you.” Nick added.

“So what the last time you tried to hook me up Ali was with Nick.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Yeah ok that was a mistake but seriously just one date?”

Kellie rolled her eyes; “If he likes me he can come and ask me for a date himself.”

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty: On the Road Again

“What? You’re kidding me? You need me when?” Alyssa asked baffled and a bit annoyed that the college needed her to come in for semester evaluation the same time she was supposed to be in Florida soaking up the sun while Nick would be rehearsing. “Yes I’ll be there, no it’s not a problem. All right Jennifer I’ll see you then.” Alyssa stated before hanging up.

Nick looked at her seeing the anger flash in her eyes, “Baby what’s wrong?” He asked not certain he wanted to know.

“I can’t make it to rehearsals with you.”

Nick immediately felt disappointed but changed his expression to concern for her, “Why?”

“The hierarchy inside the school is personally doing my semester review since I’m the youngest professor they’ve ever had. So instead of a teleconference with Jennifer I have to be there in person for my evaluation.”

He pulled her to him knowing how much she was looking forward to going to Florida with him. “Is that a bad thing?” He asked moving his hands up and down her back.

She looked up at him, “I certainly hope not. I’ve been working my ass off for them if I get canned I’ll be so pissed.” He kissed her ending her little tirade if only for a moment. “I hate it when you do that.” She stated breaking the kiss.

“And why is that?”

“Because it makes me want to agree to almost anything.”

“Hmm anything huh?”

“ALMOST anything.” She corrected laughing a little.

Four days later...

“Well Alyssa I think your teaching style albeit unconventional is really working.” Dr. Henderson remarked.

Alyssa smiled, “Well thank you, I try to approach it from a student’s point of view to make it interesting for them especially since it’s an online class.”

Jennifer smiled at Alyssa glad she'd made the decision to hire her. “Should we tell her the good news?”

Dr Henderson smiled at Jennifer, “Yes I believe we should.”

Alyssa looked at both of them quite bewildered. “Alyssa we’ve decided to promote you to my position, true you’d still only be teaching undergraduate students, however you’ll be in charge of coordinating the faculty and still teach the same course.”

“So what exactly would this entail?” Alyssa asked worried that she wouldn’t be able to travel.

Jennifer smiled again, “You’ll only have to be available by phone and email so you can still travel if you would like. Also it’s a significant pay raise and you’d be a full professor, which is rare to have without a doctorate. So what do you say?”

Alyssa thought for a moment, “I think I’m going to have to say yes. This is just too good to pass up.”

At that moment they all stood and shook hands, “Well Alyssa you’re new contract will be sent to you via email since I understand you have a plane to catch.” Dr. Henderson stated smiling.

Late that night...

Alyssa walked into the hotel room setting her laptop bag and duffel bag down in a huff. All of the guys looked up from watching the game on the television. Nick saw her and immediately was concerned and noticed the lack of the rest of her bags.

“Liss where are your bags?”

She shot him a glare taking off her dress blazer, “The fucking...” She paused a moment, “Sorry Brian.” She stated knowing that he wasn’t one for swearing much.

His expression softened, “Let loose honey it’s ok.”

She sighed, “Thank you, the fucking airline lost my clothes!!!”

Nick sat there a second, “Do you have any extras?”

“Yes thank god I carry an extra pair of sneakers and clothes in my duffel bag.” She said pointing to it on the floor. “But that’s not the point, my clothes are gone the idiots at the airline sent them to God knows where! The upside though is I got a promotion to full professor and I’ll be coordinating four classes but still teaching one.” She said as Nick pulled her into a hug.

“Hey that’s great you got a promotion and you can borrow something of mine or Leighanne’s or Kristin’s until you can buy new clothes.” Nick replied.

She looked at him, “I know it’s just fucking figures that this would happen, just when almost everything is going great in my life; my job and us; something has to come along and fuck it up.” She replied as they both sat down on the couch. Alyssa slipped off her heels crossing her legs since she was wearing a long tight skirt. “At least the important things didn’t get lost like my laptop and my disks and DVDs or my prescriptions.”

“Prescriptions?” Kevin asked.

Alyssa smiled a little, “Yeah one is for acid reflux disease everyone in my family has it so I take medicine to treat it. And the other is so I don’t get pregnant.” She replied bluntly.

Nick chuckled a bit, “Yeah and if that would happen it would be such a tragedy.” He replied sarcastically.

Alyssa rolled her eyes; “Yeah and Clark would castrate you with a wooden spoon for knocking me up.”

“Ouch, damn you’d think he’d show some restraint since he’s a guy.” Nick replied.

Alyssa laughed a little, “I’m his baby sister, that would be like Angel getting knocked up. You would have a coronary if that happened, which is why you haven’t met her boyfriend.”

“She has a boyfriend?”

“Yep and she’s going to kill me for telling you. He is very respectful of her though waiting until she’s 18 supposedly.”

“How old is he?”

“23. Don’t worry I warned him that if he hurts her that he has to deal with Aaron, you, the girls and me not to mention you guys.”

“It’s weird seeing your sisters all grown up.” AJ remarked. “Makes me feel old that Aaron and Angel are going to be 18 in just a few months.”

“Don’t remind me.” Nick replied.

“How do you think Olivia and Clark feel seeing me grow up? It’s actually kind of sad that my dad didn’t get the chance to know about us.”

Nick looked at her, “He knew.”

“What?” Alyssa looked at him her eyes wide.

He smiled, “Yeah he told me, Mary even put him up to threatening me if I ever hurt you. They figured it out at your graduation.”

“I told you something was up with them!” Alyssa exclaimed.

He smiled, “Yeah I know, that and he wasn’t concerned with us living together he said he knew it would happen eventually when you moved in.”

Alyssa laughed, “Yeah he tried to tell me that he didn’t like the fact that I moved in with you and he couldn’t be there to make sure you would behave.”

He snickered at her comment; “He should have been more worried about you behaving.”

Alyssa laughed at him, “Very true.” She noticed the odd looks the others were exchanging, “It was my idea.” She stated figuring she’d leave out much of the details. “Anyways I’m going to go take a long shower.” She stated getting up going into hers and Nick’s hotel room carrying her shoes and two bags with her.

“What does she mean that it was her idea?” Howie asked.

Nick rolled his eyes; “She is so going to kill me for saying this considering only a few people are aware of it.”

“What?” AJ asked.

Nick sighed and decided he might as well tell them the whole story. “When she was 16 we were talking and joking around about how she was dateless at the time and she came up with an idea...”

“Ali you’re not going to be dateless forever.”

“Yeah you say that now but when I’m 21 and still a virgin I’m going to say I told you so.”

“I bet some guy is going to come along and sweep you off your feet.” Nick replied smiling into the phone.

Alyssa snorted at the comment, “Yeah I’m so sure I swear if I’m still a virgin when I turn 21 I’m just going to screw some random guy to get it over with.”

“Don’t screw some random guy you shouldn’t waste your first time on some idiot.”

She sighed, “Then what do you suggest I make some dumb pact with a guy I know and if I’m still a virgin and he and I are both single then he’d be my first?”

“Actually I think that’s a great idea to be with someone you trust and you know won’t try to hurt you.”

She snickered, “Are you volunteering?”

“Maybe I am.” He shot back.

“...After that weekend and I came back from that tour in Asia we did we decided to give a serious relationship a try and it just kind of snowballed from there.” Nick finished.

“So you two had this plan or pact or whatever from when she was 16 years old?” Kevin asked.

Nick rolled his eyes, “Now I know why she didn’t want me to say anything. It’s not like we took it seriously it was kind of an inside joke but when her 21st birthday started coming up we talked about it and decided that maybe it wasn’t such a dumb idea. Obviously it wasn’t.”

“So did you like her when you both came up with the idea?”

“I’ll admit it yeah I really did like her back then, but there was Amanda and Ali was not exactly legal. Then Collin came along and as much as I liked him and know he made her happy I was jealous as hell.”

“So why not try right after she got through her rough time?”

Nick sighed, “Because besides Alex you guys have no clue the kind of hell she went through. It scared the hell out of me when she was in the hospital. I’ve been extremely protective of her ever since. I was the one that found her in my bathroom in Florida. I will never forget the way she looked gray and pale and the blood...” He paused mentally reliving that night for a moment.

“Ali, I got your favorite ice cream!” Nick called out walking down the hall searching his house for her. He walked into the bathroom his heart stopping at what he saw.

Alyssa lay there a growing pool of blood by her right wrist and a straight razor in her other hand. He rushed over picking up the bottle of Tylenol shaking it noticing it was empty.

“Shit…” He moved over to Alyssa almost afraid to touch her. “Alyssa please wake up…”

He grabbed a towel off of the rack wrapping it around her wrist as tight as he could to stop the flow of blood that made his stomach turn then pulling her into his lap he felt her neck for a pulse.

It was there…barely.

He looked to her other hand pulling the straight razor out of it looking at it. His eyes moved to her face as he threw the razor in the sink. He held her close to him not even realizing the tears that had begun to fall down his face. He stood bending over picking her up and rushed her out to his car placing her in the back before getting in himself pulling out of his driveway so fast the tires squealed…

“When she came back from the hospital I wouldn’t let her out of my sight except to shower and use the bathroom. Even then I would wait for her to come out just because I was so freaked out that she might do that again.”

“Is that why your attitude majorly changed and you were ALWAYS on the phone.” Howie remarked.

Nick laughed a little, “As apposed to you?” He shot back. “Seriously, I would call her just to hear her voice. Just to make sure she was ok.”

Kevin smiled at him, “Honestly I’m happy for you it doesn’t matter how you two started just that you’re happy together.”

“I am happy.” Nick replied. “Anyways can you guys do me a favor?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Keep Ali busy while I do something for her.”

The next day...

“Where are we going?” Alyssa asked.

Kevin looked at her and smiled, “You’re going out with us today.”

Alyssa laughed sarcastically, “I see that, but where are we going? And where is Nick?” She asked noticing that it was only herself and the four other guys.

Howie smiled at her, “Leighanne and Kristin kidnapped him.”

Meanwhile Leighanne looked over at Nick laughing a little bit, “I cannot believe you are doing this.” She stated.

“Why?” He asked handing her a pair of jeans.

“Because you’ve never done this for anyone before.” Kristin added. “Anyways what kind of clothes does she like?”

“Jeans, tee-shirts mostly. That and Kellie is on her way from Miami to help.” Nick stated just as Kellie walked into the store. “Speaking of...”

“Hey Carter.” Kellie announced pulling him into a quick hug. “So she lost her luggage?”

“Yep almost all of her clothes.”

“So Nick is being all cute and buying her new clothes.” Leighanne stated making a gagging noise.

Kellie laughed, “I think the part he’s looking forward to is buying her new lingerie.”

Nick rolled his eyes, “Considering I’ve destroyed quite a few she’ll thank me for replacing them.”

Leighanne laughed a little, “What designer does she like?”

“For clothes it’s usually anything from Kittson to Isaac Mizrahi, lingerie it’s usually Victoria’s Secret. I tried to get her to like La Perla but she hates paying that much for underwear.”

Later on...

Alyssa walked into the hotel room ready to plop down on the bed exhausted from being dragged all over creation by those four. She looked at the bed seeing bags all over it from various stores all ones that she liked and a bouquet of purple roses and white calla lilies. She picked up the card reading it.

Stop smelling the flowers and look in the bags.

Nick

Alyssa laughed at him knowing her so well. She looked in the bags seeing clothes pulling them all out seeing they were all her size jeans, skirts, dresses, shirts, underwear even a new luggage set to replace the ones she’d lost. “NICKOLAS!!!” She yelled right before walking out into the living area that adjoined all the suites.

Nick looked up smiling at her from the couch as everyone rushed in thinking something was wrong, “What?”

“Did you...?” Alyssa trailed off.

“Buy you new clothes? Yeah, I had help though.”

Alyssa grinned and pulled him into a kiss wrapping her arms around his neck. “AHEM!” Kellie cleared her throat getting them to break the kiss. Alyssa saw her and went over pulling her into a hug.

“Kel!!” She nearly shouted. She broke away from the hug smiling, “Thanks you guys.” She said gratefully.

“We helped too.” AJ said from where he and the others were standing.

Alyssa smiled at them “So that’s why you dragged me everywhere? To keep me busy while he went and spent an ungodly amount on new clothes for me.”

“Exactly.” Brian replied.

Alyssa went over and hugged them, “You guys are the best, seriously I don’t deserve this.”

“Yes you do.” Nick replied pulling her by the waist to him.

She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled, “Thank you.”

“Well go try em on!” Kellie exclaimed smiling at Alyssa as Kellie walked into the hotel bedroom followed by Alyssa with Nick not far behind making the guys laugh.

About an hour later Alyssa came walking out the bathroom wearing a black halter dress with a plunging neck line, “I look like a hoochie in this.” She stated looking down at herself.

“I think you look classy.” Kellie replied.

“I think you look fucking hot.” Nick added.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “You’ve said that about everything I’ve tried on.”

“I think he means that even with the clothes off.” Kellie replied snickering.

Alyssa blushed a little bit before grabbing another bag and going back into the bathroom. She opened the bag pulling out the ankle length dark burgundy silk nightgown, which had the back that came up just barely to the small of her back. “Wow.” She whispered changing into it. After putting it on she turned to the side seeing a slit that went all the way up to her upper thigh. “Kellie, come here for a second.” She semi-commanded.

Kellie and Nick exchanged a glance and she got up going into the bathroom seeing Alyssa standing there in the nightgown. “Wow, now that’s lingerie.”

“Did he pick this out?” Alyssa asked.

“He must have because I didn’t see this. You want me to get out of here huh?” Kellie asked.

Alyssa grinned, “I think he deserves a proper thank you. Besides you and I are going out to lunch tomorrow.”

Kellie began backing up towards the bathroom, “I want details.”

Alyssa smiled, “You know I’ll share.” She replied as Kellie made her way out of the hotel room.

On her way out she stopped by Nick who was lounging on the bed, “You are so in for it.” Kellie said grinning then moving out the door.

A couple seconds later Alyssa walked out leaning on the doorjamb. “So you think you’re pretty sneaky huh?” She stated grinning at him.

He looked at her and his eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped. He stood up a little afraid to touch her in case he was hallucinating. “My god you look...”

Alyssa laughed at him, “I like it, how did you know that I had liked this in the damn catalog?” She replied referring to the gown she had seen in the Victoria’s Secret catalog.

He smiled reaching out touching her arm before pulling her to him, “You fold the corner of each page where there is something you like.”

“Flipping through my catalog huh?” She replied with a devilish smirk on her face. “So do you like?” She said changing the subject.

He held her to him and picked her up carrying her over to the bed laying her down on it and himself on top of her, “I’ll let you know.” He replied before leaning down to kiss her slowly.

The next afternoon...

“So...?” Kellie asked grinning at Alyssa.

“So what?” Alyssa shot back.

Kellie rolled her eyes, “How was his thank you?”

“It was just...” Alyssa stated sighing before continuing, “Let’s just say he really, really liked the lingerie.”

“That good huh? Because you were pretty quiet, my room is like right next door.”

“It was insanely good. It was one of those where it’s too good to make much noise except breathing.”

Kellie rolled her eyes at her best friend, “How can you not make any noise?”

“I have no clue but it was just...”

“Like The Notebook type good or what?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Ok I love that movie but seriously what is your fascination with that scene?” She asked referring to the now infamous love scene between the lead characters.

“Because it’s hot, romantic and hot.”

“Yeah ok I see your point. I don’t know how to describe anytime Nick and I are together without getting all cheesy and clichéd you know?”

Kellie smiled at her, “Aww sweetie that means you’re in love.”

“I know that already.”

“You know there were rumors on the net that you and him are breaking up.”

Alyssa sighed, “Yeah, it’s because I had to stay in LA for my evaluation and he was pretty bummed about me having to stay behind a couple days. I think he’s trying to get a family dinner arranged so I can be formally introduced as his girlfriend even though they all know me.” Alyssa said chuckling a little bit.

“You think maybe he wants them to see how serious he is about you?”

“I don’t know, it’s crazy how serious we are now. It’s almost as if...”

“As if he might ask a certain question soon...” Kellie added. She knew Nick had bought the ring and was trying to see if maybe Alyssa might be ready for that question.

“I know what you’re implying and the answer is no. That’s too huge for us right now, I want to take it slow really build up our relationship and please he doesn’t even believe that marriage works.”

“You never know he could change his mind.”

**************************

Nick Narrating:

Now I remember why I hate touring. As much fun as being on stage is that’s exactly how un-fun (if that’s even a word) all the other shit involved is. But having Alyssa with me makes it bearable.

I keep looking over that list she wrote that I keep in my laptop. I love that she’s open with her feelings now and it makes talking to her even better than before.

She’s a lot more open about everything now and we don’t fight or even argue much anymore.

True we still argue sometimes but we diffuse if pretty quick with one of us, usually me realizing we’re being stupid and we bust out laughing about it.

It’s something that I’ve never experienced before.

With my parents it was one argument after another with the occasional good day here and there. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t believe that marriage works.

I know I bought her an engagement ring and someday yeah I’d love to marry her. Even though I don’t think it works I think that it would with her. Her parents are the reason for that. When her father was alive anyone could tell that her parents were meant to be together that they were soul mates. Now that Jamie passed away you can see the pain Mary has been going through. It made me think what losing Alyssa would be like and I didn’t like it one bit.

Almost losing her when she tried to kill herself was one thing since we were only friends back then.

But to lose her now, after knowing what we have together, I know I wouldn’t survive it.

It’s so unbelievably crazy to be so sure about one person. Especially since for the longest time I was so unsure of anything with us and now I know that she loves me; I hear it all the time now, which by the way is fucking amazing.

In a way I’m kind of glad that she waited as long as she did to say it. I’ll never tell her that but it’s not the fact that she waited so long the point is that she finally overcame her fear of losing people that are close to her.

True she still has a fear of losing her loved ones but she was able to let go of trying to protect herself from losing them and open up.

Her father’s death I think opened her eyes a little. It showed her that it would still hurt just as much if not more if you close yourself off.

Losing Jamie was hard on everyone that’s for sure. Alyssa doesn’t really cry in front of people except in front of me, and her family and even though she tried to hide it she cried at the funeral. I think everyone did myself included.

Jamie was one of the first people to welcome me into their family and he always listened and gave advice on whatever I might need to talk to him about. No doubt the hardest it’s been on is Mary, even though she knew how sick he was and was prepared for the worst.

Nothing can prepare you for having to let someone go especially someone you’ve spent your life with. That’s why Clark has been staying with her, so that she has someone to talk to…to work out her grief.

The first few nights after Jamie passed away; Alyssa was so broken up all she did was cry. It hurt to see her in so much pain. I kept quiet though letting her cry, or talk, whatever she needed I was there. She tried to push me away at first but I told her I wasn’t going anywhere and after that for a while she was like my shadow, no doubt she was worried that I’d be taken from her too.

Then what happened after the funeral in the car was odd. She’d never done something like that.

Granted she’s been aggressive in the past but it was so different. I know she was grieving and using me as a distraction, which bugged the hell out of me. I’m not one for passing up a chance to mess around but it didn’t feel right.

Which is of course why I avoided being close with her for a while. I needed her to understand what her actions did. And when she talked to me about it she told me exactly what I needed to hear from her. Of course now we talk even more just to avoid miscommunications like that again.

End Narration.

****************************

“I think I might go home for a couple days, to Arizona.” Alyssa stated unsure of what Nick’s reaction might be.

Nick looked up from his book and over at her, “You’re leaving?”

“Only for a couple days. My mom wanted me to come see her just for a couple days and then I’ll be back. Have Chris or David come out complain about women, drink, spit, scratch, watch porn… do whatever.”

Nick laughed at her comment, “It could be fun, and I have missed hanging out with them. But what will I do if I get lonely.” He replied making his best puppy-dog face.

Alyssa rolled her eyes, “Call me or...” She paused digging in her bag pulling out a DVD and tossed it over to him, “Watch this.”

“Is this ours?” He asked getting an evil grin on his face.

“You betcha.”

Two Days later...

Nick’s phone rang for the third time as he rummaged through the room frantically trying to find it finally getting to it just in time before the voicemail picked up. “Hello?” He said out of breath.

“Were you lost?” Lori asked giggling into the phone.

Nick sighed disappointed that it wasn’t Alyssa calling him, “Hey Lori.”

“Don’t act so happy to hear from me now.” She stated sarcastically.

He laughed a little, “Sorry just I miss Lissa.”

“Speaking of Ali, have you checked your email?” Lori asked smiling a little.

He thought a moment, “Umm no why? Should I?”

“Trust me it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m not even into girl on girl stuff.”

Nick got out his laptop, “Wait what??”

“Let’s just say we all got drunk, I had Clark’s camera and Jenna had the camcorder and we were joking around and Kellie and Ali were the ones that were the most drunk and uh well go see.”

Completely interested now and a bit anxious to see what the hell it was he loaded his email up and opened the email with the subject line
“OMG!” he opened the first attachment seeing a still picture of a very drunk Kellie and Alyssa in a lip lock, “Oh dear God.” He gasped looking at it completely turned on merely by the fact he knew they were straight and yet still kissed anyways.

“Which one did you open?” Lori asked.

“The picture, damn that’s just, my God.”

Lori laughed a little, “Yeah I figured you’d enjoy that now open the video attachment.”

Nick opened it and waited for it to load, “How did you get them to do this?”

“They had talked about it earlier and we were all drinking and having fun and Jenna dared em to so they did.” Lori explained.

When the video loaded Nick saw Jenna first, “Nick, since you’re a straight guy I think you’ll enjoy this because I’m about to dare your girlfriend to make out with her best friend, and to make their inhibitions nice and low we got em liquored up.” He watched it smiling when he saw Alyssa in her silly stage of being drunk giggling at a comment by Olivia about sex.

In the background he heard Jenna get the girls attention and dare them. Kellie and Alyssa both laughed a little until Jenna assured them she was dead serious. They stopped laughing and shrugged looking at each other.

It was then Alyssa pulled Kellie to her and kissed her hard. The camera zoomed in just in time to catch a glimpse of Alyssa’s tongue sliding into Kellie’s mouth.

Nick stared at the computer screen not believing what he saw, “How drunk was Ali?” He managed to ask Lori.

“She was nearly three sheets to the wind, this happened last night, and they both remembered it this morning so they couldn’t have been too bad off.” Lori stated.

He thought a moment, “What did they say this morning?”

Lori laughed a little, “They were fine with it, but then were laughing because they are that comfortable with each other. Jenna said she was going to email the video to you and Ali got a deer in headlights look.”

He laughed, “Yeah she probably thinks I’ll be pissed or something.”

“Are you?”

“No, the only thing I’m pissed about is that I wasn’t there to see it happening myself. It’s just...” He trailed off.

“You really like it huh?” Lori asked laughing a little.

He sighed, “Where is Lissa?” He asked changing the subject.

“She just walked in you want to talk to her?”

“Yes.” He stated as the phone was passed to Alyssa.

“Hello lover what’s up?” Alyssa asked walking into his office closing the door for some privacy.

“I saw the video and the picture.”

Alyssa swallowed hard for a second, “And?” She asked not sure what his reaction was going to be.

“That was the hottest thing I have ever seen you do.” He answered back.

Alyssa raised her eyebrows completely shocked at his reaction, “Seriously? I thought you’d be mad or something.”

“No not mad at all.” He replied. “You do realize that seeing that nearly killed me right?”

“What do you mean?” Alyssa asked sitting in his desk chair twirling around a little bit.

He sighed trying to organize his thoughts a bit before speaking, “For a long time I’ve had this… ummm…. fantasy of sorts that involves you two.” He said in a rush.

Alyssa stopped twirling around in the chair and sat up, “What? Like what type of fantasy are we talking here?”

“The type you’d only see in my bottom drawer in my closet.” He said referring to his porn stash.

Alyssa thought a moment, “Like a threesome?” She asked.

He looked around the room trying to find a way to answer that, “Well, umm yeah.” He answered quietly a little afraid of how she would take it.

“How come you haven’t told me this before?”

“I was afraid you’d hate the idea and nix it completely so I kept it to myself. Not a lot of straight women are down for that.”

“What messing around with a girl while her boyfriend watches and then joins or whatever?”

Nick’s breath caught in his throat for a moment, “Basically, yeah.”

Alyssa thought a moment, “Why would you think I’d be mad or be completely against it?”

“Are you completely against it?”

Alyssa sighed, “No, I’m not actually now that I think about it, it might be kind of fun. But it would be a one time thing right?”

He smiled a little knowing her apprehension having heard horror stories about threesomes where someone got jealous and screwed up the relationships and friendships involved. “Yeah, it would be.”

Alyssa thought a moment, “Hmm well then maybe Kellie and I will surprise you sometime when you least expect it.”

“You’d seriously be willing to do this?”

“Yeah, why not, it’s something for you, fulfilling a fantasy of yours that you’ve never told anyone about right?”

“Yeah except for you now. I think you just won girlfriend of the century for even considering this.”

Alyssa laughed, “Kellie should be down for it too, we’re best friends we know we’re straight and it’d only be for one night so what’s the big deal?”

“It’s just I never thought you’d even consider it.”

“Well if I had a crazy fantasy that I haven’t said anything about, which I probably do if I think about it, I’d like for you to do that for me so why not reciprocate?”

Four days later...

“So where the hell have you been?” Chris asked.

Nick rolled his eyes, “We’ve been hanging out for the past three days and you’re just asking now? Anyways I’ve been working, and I have a serious girlfriend now so those two things take up a lot of time.”

“A girlfriend, man you went and got yourself pussy whipped?” David asked acting indignant.

Nick laughed a little, “You’re going to have a heart attack when I tell you who.”

“If it’s another heiress I am personally whooping your ass.” Chris shot back.

“You think I’m that stupid? Hell no man, the girl I’m seeing is Alyssa.”

Both of them shut up and stared at him wide-eyed, “Alyssa as in sweet, funny virgin Alyssa the one that dated Michael?” David asked not quite believing what he was hearing.

“Who are you calling a virgin?” Alyssa stated standing in the doorway.

Nick looked over at her smiling getting up going over to her picking her up and twirling her around. “You came back early.”

“Yeah I was able to catch an earlier flight and I thought why not and be able to see the show tonight.” Alyssa replied as he set her down. She looked over to see David and Chris sitting there about the only two of Nick’s non-famous guy friends that she could stand besides Brent. “Hey losers.” She joked.

“So you’re the one that’s been taking up all his time?” Chris asked smiling at her.

Alyssa smiled, “You’re damn straight I am.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One: Strange Days

Alyssa sighed a little relaxing against Nick both still coming off their high. “What’s wrong?” He asked concerned.

She looked up at him, “Hmm, absolutely nothing. Why do you ask?”

He smiled at her holding her tighter against him as they continued to just lay there basking in the afterglow. “You’ve just been off lately, more tired than usual.”

Alyssa hated it sometimes how well he could read her. She’d been very off the past few months ever since her father passed away. Not just from the emotional stress of losing him but there was something else, her nausea had been coming and going and sometimes resulted in her having to hole herself up in the bathroom until it passed. “Yeah I know just been really run down lately you know?”

He looked at her, “Hmm maybe you should take sometime off go stay with your mom, visit the doctor. I don’t want you to get sick.” He said his voice soft, full of concern.

“I just saw her a month and a half ago.”

“For like what three days? Hardly a vacation if you ask me.”

Alyssa looked at him a minute, “Are you trying to get rid of me?” She said half joking and half serious.

He stared at her a little shocked, “God no! If anything I want you to stay but you need rest.” He replied kissing her temple.

She relaxed against him and smiled a little, “Ok why don’t I go stay with them until the Phoenix date?”

Nick thought a moment before reaching over to the nightstand where the tour itinerary was. He looked at it flipping the pages, “That’s three weeks away!?!?!”

Alyssa laughed a little, “Well it’s your idea for me to go spend time with my mom.”

“I know but that’s an eternity, since we’ve been together the longest we’ve been apart has been a week.”

She grinned at him, “Not true, remember the tour in Asia that was two weeks.”

He rolled his eyes, “Ok true, but that was before we were exclusive.”

“So you’re saying that it was ok because you could look at and even be with other women.” She shot back.

He looked at her in shock again, “Damn woman you turned that one around on me!”

She rolled her eyes, “Well you said it was before we were exclusive, one could make that mean that one or both of us were with other people at the time.”

He sat up letting the sheet fall to his hips as he turned a little motioning for her to sit up too. When she did he looked her straight in the eye and replied, “What makes you think that I would want to have been with anyone else?”

She looked at him, “Because I know you, and in the past you haven’t usually been the one girl type of guy.” She stated as he got a hurt look on his face. “I mean you cheated on Amanda, Tiffany, Paris, I could name more. So I just assumed you’d be hooking up with whoever caught your eye.”

He looked down for a second true he was hurt by her statement, but hell most of it was true he wasn’t the faithful type he’d been unfaithful to almost every girlfriend he’d ever had.

However ever since they’d even talked about being together he couldn’t imagine anyone else being as attractive or alluring as Alyssa. “You really think that way?” He asked pausing for a moment. “You think that I’m not going to stay faithful to you? That I’m secretly waiting to be alone so I can go out and get as many women as possible?”

She sighed, “Damnit I knew this was going to result in a fight.”

“Answer the questions Ali.” He stated flatly.

“I don’t know ok? I’m going on your track record here. I realize Amanda and Paris weren’t saints either. Don’t think I don’t see how women react to you. They either are all blushing or are all over you. I realize that and I understand that having strange women all over you comes with the territory of your life.” She paused gathering her thoughts. “I’m not jealous, I had to learn to get past that on your solo tour when I’d be the one scuttling girls out of your room in the morning. I’m just so afraid that you’ll start to lose interest in me and those offers from other women might look pretty tempting.”

He thought a moment understanding her fears because they were his too. Men always stared at Alyssa; some were even as bold as to come up to her. He feared that she’d be more attracted to them than him. He took her hands and looked in her eyes, “I’m sorry that my previous indiscretions have made it so hard to trust me.” He paused holding his hand up when she tried to say something. “I love you, I know I’ve said that to others in the past and didn’t mean it. But I mean it about you. That night in the hospital I lied to the doctors…” He said trailing off remembering what had happened that night:

“I’m sorry but unless you’re a relative or significant other we cannot release any information to you.” The doctor stated matter-of-factly.

Without thinking he replied, “I’m her boyfriend.”

The doctor nodded, “All right then, she’s in critical but stable condition. She’s able to breathe on her own which is very good for her state. She lost a lot of blood and we’re looking for a transfusion now she’s AB Negative so it shouldn’t be too hard.”

“I’m AB negative could that help?” Nick stated hoping that somehow he could help.

The doctor nodded appreciatively leading him back to take the amount of blood they’d need. “We’re only going to need about half a pint, that’s how much she needs before her body can produce red blood cells on her own.”

After taking his blood and putting a bandage on his arm he was led back into the ICU where he saw her. She laid there unconscious an IV in her arm and a bandage around her wrist where she had cut herself.

He felt his stomach drop, as he looked at her once bright face now pale and grey. He pulled a chair over to the side of the bed taking the hand with the bandage in his lacing their fingers together. The charge nurse walked in putting a fresh IV drip and bag of blood to help her begin to recover.

“Is she yours?” The nurse asked with her thick southern accent showing through.

Nick looked up at her and replied, “Yes, she’s mine.”

Taking Alyssa’s vitals she asked back, “Did you know?”

“Know what?” He asked.

The nurse looked at him with an endearing look, “That she’s a cutter.”

“What?”

The nurse lifted up Alyssa’s arm showing the healing red cuts up the inside of her forearm. “These cuts, they’re clear evidence of being what they call a cutter. Someone who cuts themselves to lessen emotional pain.”

He looked at Alyssa’s arms, how had he not noticed before? The long sleeves, fingerless gloves that went past her elbows, it all made sense to him now all these months since Collin’s death she’d been hurting herself to lessen the pain. “No I had no clue.”

“Well she’s lucky to have someone like you.”

“What do you mean?”

The nurse smiled, “My daughter was a cutter, when you do that to yourself you need all the love and support you can get to help you through it. She’s lucky to have someone that loves her like you do.” She stated patting him on the shoulder. “By the way if you need anything I’ll be here until 8 AM.”

“Thank you.” He managed to croak out before she left the room. Was it true what she said? Did he really love her? He looked over at her limp form the sad expression on her face pulled at his heart. “God please let her be ok.” He found himself whispering out loud before resting his head ontop of his arms on the bed still holding her hand. He watched her chest rise and fall as sleep began to overtake him.

“That night made me see what life without you might be like. I hated the idea of you not being here. I hated myself even more for not seeing how much pain you were in. I fell in love with you. I don’t know when or where, but that night I really felt it for the first time.”

Her expression softened, “I can tell you when I fell for you, the exact moment that I knew.”

He grinned at her playing with her fingers, “When?”

“Into the Millennium Tour October 12th, 1999, right after my 16th birthday. When Kel, Lori and I went backstage, it took you a minute to recognize me. The way your eyes lit up when you did. I knew it right then that I was in love with you.”

He smiled at her, “Seriously that was when you knew?”

She smiled back, “Yeah and I nearly keeled over when you hugged me. It was emotional overload to just figure out that ‘hey I love my best friend’ and then to have you so close to me. And then the following New Years when you kissed me! Seriously were you trying to kill me?”

He chuckled a bit, “What do you mean?”

“I was already a lovesick teenager, and that kiss even though looking back at the age difference was kinda bad on your part, it was just amazing everything I wanted my first kiss to be.”

“I know what you mean, I think it was then I started to fall for you, weird as it is since you were jail bait and all. But I had to kiss you; you looked so happy and beautiful, I couldn’t help myself.” He replied putting his fingers in her hair his palm resting just under her ear. She smiled and leaned into his palm sighing a little as she changed hands moving her left to hold his wrist and her right to hold the sheet in front of her. He chuckled to himself at her infinite modesty.

She moved closer to him smiling at him, “You know if someone would have told me that you felt the same way back then I never would have believed it. Hell if Kel or Lori would have said a year ago that we’d be here right now I would have had them committed for delusions of grandeur!” She stated giggling a little as he pulled her into a teasing kiss.

He pulled away a minute later, “Do you trust me now?”

She smiled a little, “I’ve always trusted you. Just, promise me that you won’t make me feel like a fool for doing so.”

“I promise.”

A week later...

“Honey I made you an appointment with Dr. Kellen.” Mary stated coming into Alyssa’s room.

Alyssa tried to protest but figured arguing with her mother was not an option. “Ok. When is it?” She relented.

“Two hours at the Scottsdale Medical Center. I pulled a few strings.” Mary replied smiling at her.

Later on at the doctor’s office; “Well Alyssa tell me what seems to be wrong?” Dr. Kellen asked her voice full of concern.

“Well, I’ve been nauseous and light headed.” Alyssa stated as the doctor made notes on the chart she held.

“When was the date of your last menstrual cycle?” The doctor asked making Alyssa blush for a second.

She thought a moment, “Umm my god it’s been a while.”

“How long is a while?”

Alyssa thought mentally scanning through a calendar, “Since April.” It was the beginning of August now.

The doctor chewed on her lip a moment, “Have you noticed any change in weight gain, unusual food cravings?”

“What are you saying?”

She smiled at Alyssa, “Well I need to run some tests but based on your symptoms, you may very well be pregnant.”

Alyssa’s eyes widened, “But we’ve always been careful.”

“How careful?”

Alyssa thought a moment, “I’m on the pill.”

The doctor’s face softened, “Condoms?”

“Well ok no, but we’re both clean so we didn’t really see the point with being on the pill and all.”

Dr. Kellen looked over the chart quickly at the birth control Alyssa had been taking, “It seems as if the amount of hormones in your dose weren’t enough to keep you from getting pregnant.”

That night...

Alyssa paced around the bathroom stopping every once and a while to look at her profile. She stuck out her stomach rubbing her hands over it sighing. “God I can’t believe this.” She was pregnant. Never in the deepest corners of her mind had the idea of being pregnant had ever come up. And now here she was, knocked up by the man she loved with all her heart.

“Ali, you gotta come see this!!!!!!!!!!” Jenna yelled from the computer downstairs.

Alyssa rushed down stairs seeing Jenna on the computer with the media player pulled up and the boys picture frozen on the screen. “What?” She asked.

“Watch this!” Jenna excitedly exclaimed as she pushed play.

“So Nick you were saying how that now your parents are divorced that you feel like a father to your siblings. Are there any plans for you to actually become a father soon?” The interviewer asked.

All of the guys turned to him as he looked a little shocked but quickly recovered, “Well as of right now there are no official plans, but if it happens then I’d be happy about it, I’m in a great place in my life right now and if it were to happen then yeah that’d be pretty damn cool.”

Alyssa stared at the screen, “Did he just say, what I think he just said?” She stated as her and Jenna exchanged a look.

“He just said he’d be cool if you got pregnant!!!” Jenna exclaimed. “And on international television!!!”

Alyssa looked at Jenna with a smirk. “I hope he’s ready to find out how cool it would be.” She said without even thinking.

Jenna looked at her wide-eyed, “You’re....”

“Found out today.” Alyssa stated as Jenna screamed. “Christ Jenna!! Keep it down.”

Jenna pressed her hand to Alyssa’s stomach, “There’s a baby Carter in there?” She asked almost giddy.

“Yep, a little over 3 months. Which is why I’m beginning to show.” Alyssa’s cell phone rang and she picked it up smiling knowing it was Nick just by the ring tone. “Hey baby what’s up?”

“Nothing much just missing you.” He stated smiling into the phone.

Alyssa smiled even more, “So umm I saw the latest interview.”

Nick thought a moment, “And?”

“You seriously think it’d be cool if I got pregnant?”

He grinned, “Hell yeah, I’m so happy with you and if it happens then it’s meant to happen then I can’t not be happy.”

A week later...

Jenna and Alyssa walked around the mall looking for something that caught their eyes. “Ooo we should go in this one” Jenna said pointing to the Carter’s Baby store.

Alyssa rolled her eyes laughing, “God, that’s funny.” They walked around the store looking at the various adorable baby clothes they had.

Jenna held up a ones ooing and awing at how adorable it was. It was then that Alyssa grimaced. “Honey what’s wrong?”

Another shot of pain ran through her like a bolt of lightning, “I don’t know it just hurts.”

Jenna got a concerned look on her face. “Maybe we should go?” She asked.

Alyssa cried out as another jolt hit her, “Yeah I think we should.”