July 8, 2001 Boston, Massachusetts

Nick sat nervously in the makeup chair while people moved around him making his hair and face look stage ready. His eyes kept scanning the mirror, waiting anxiously for AJ to walk in through the door.

Shortly after their meeting in Kevin’s room management had made the decision that they would go to the venue and wait for their missing band member to arrive. Nick’s guess had been that AJ would roll in the door just before sound check, but as afternoon rolled into evening he was still a no-show. They did sound check with just the four of them, they ate a quick dinner and now they were dressed and nearly ready to hit the stage but still no AJ.

“We’ll cancel,” Howie suddenly spoke to the quiet room, “All the fans know that Tina is pregnant, we’ll just say Nicky had to go... baby emergency.”

Nick just shook his head and turned the chair around so he was facing his band mates, “Yeah Howie, that’s a great idea. The only problem being that tomorrow when fans see me at the airport both here and in Tampa they’re going to figure out that there was no emergency.”

“I hate having to lie to people,” Brian muttered from his spot on a long leather couch and the four of them just continued to look between one another until Kevin spoke.

“We’ll go on without him,” the older man decided, “We’ve gone on as a foursome before.”

“Except those times we had a chance to rehearse as a foursome before we ended up on stage. Who would sing AJ’s parts?” Howie asked and Nick was about to provide his own insight when the door suddenly swung open and a very rough and tired looking AJ stumbled into the room, the hood from his black sweater pulled over his head, sunglasses firmly in place.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” Kevin’s question was the first to explode out but soon they were all talking over each other, throwing questions and accusations.

“STOP!” someone yelled loudly and they were all startled enough to look for the source.

Yvonne, their hair stylist, threw down the binder she was holding and it slapped against the countertop, “Would you listen to yourselves?! You’re acting like a bunch of cave men! Let him sit down before you start your interrogation for Christ’s sake.”

Embarrassed, there were blushed cheeks and hung heads around the room.

“Our apologies,” Brian was the first to speak to the woman, “I’m sure you can appreciate that it’s been a high stress day.”

“I think we should leave the boys alone to talk about things,” Yvonne said to the other employees in the room. It was clearly her way of saying ‘apology accepted’ without coming right out with it.

All but five men cleared out of the dressing room and there was silence as they all tried to think of a more civil way to broach the conversation.

It was finally Howie that, after clearing his throat, spoke, “You missed sound check, and dinner. We’ve been worried about you.”

“Worried?” AJ’s raspy voice said with a sarcastic laugh as he sat down, “I should have know I’d come back here and all of you would be up my ass.”

“You’re such a dick,” Kevin exclaimed but Brian was quick to shush him.

“Alex, we just want to know what’s going on,” he asked in his soft southern drawl. In the background the sound of screaming and the opening act made them turn towards the door, “and we kind of need to know now because we’re going to be late to our own show.”

“I’m going on tonight, I was just late,” AJ shrugged but none of them bought the story he was selling.

“You haven’t given a shit about this in months,” Nick finally decided to break his silence, not feeling like he needed to coddle AJ as much as the other two had been, “You sound like shit, you look like shit, and you’ve been a pathetic excuse for a co-worker. That’s what this is man, it’s a job and you need to start treating it like one. We had to hire a fucking counsellor to follow you around and live on your bus and you ignore him! You either need to be straight with us or get the fuck out. The way you’ve been acting is irresponsible and completely unacceptable.”

“Well excuse me, Kev,” AJ replied sarcastically, putting his hands up in mock defence as he moved towards the younger man, “I didn’t realize you were such a pillar of society. Here I thought you were just some fuck up teen Dad. My mistake, I guess I was stupid in thinking that I shouldn’t take advice from the moron that doesn’t even know how to get a condom on his dick before he hooks up with some groupie on spring break.”

Nick had always been more of a body fighter, something he had developed through years of being smaller than the pack. Now that he was full grown though it was like a freight train had moved through the room and tackled AJ no different than if they’d been playing football. AJ hit the ground like a sack of potatoes and before he could raise his arms as a shield Nick’s fist had connected with his cheekbone.

The younger man got a couple of good hits to AJ’s torso in before he was pulled away literally kicking and screaming by Brian and Howie.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Kevin yelled, looking between the two of them. AJ was lying on the floor writhing, holding his nose protectively.

“He had no right to say that to me!” Nick defended angrily.

“You should be happy Kev,” AJ groaned from the floor, “For once it wasn’t you getting the wrath of Nick. Don’t worry about it, let the kid go,” he sat up, leaning against one of the couches with his hands still supporting his face, “I should have known better not to leave something between us to trip him up before I insulted him. You’d think I’d have learned by now.”

Just when they were about to chastise their friend for his immaturity they all heard the sniffle. AJ was now sitting in the same position against the couch but his hands, rather than cradling a sore nose, he was hiding his tears.

“Why are you crying?” Brian asked, getting down on one knee so he could better see the other man.

AJ sniffled again and waved them away, “I did just get the shit kicked out of me.”

Brian shook his head, “That’s not why you’re crying. You’ve had the shit kicked out of you before.”

AJ let out a heavy sigh and wiped at his eyes before glancing up at his sparring partner, “Nick...”

“Don’t talk to me,” Nick muttered without emotion, crossing his arms firmly over his chest.

With another deep breath in and out AJ nodded, accepting that response, “I’m really sorry guys but I can’t do this anymore.”

Before anyone could react the door swung open, their tour manager on the other side, “You guys gonna be ready to go in 20? It’s too late to cancel.”

“Give us a minute,” Kevin requested and the door was closed once again, “What can’t you do anymore Alex?”

“This tour,” AJ replied, “It’s not going to stop. I can’t make myself get to meetings or to interviews, or shows while I’m like this. It’s only going to get worse from here. I talked to my Mom last night and we agreed that maybe I should get away for a while, get some help.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m a drunk. I’m saying that I’m really sorry. Most of all I’m saying that I’ll do the show tonight because we have to but after that... I quit. I need help.”