July 8, 2001 Boston, Massachusetts

From the very onset of the boy’s careers they had learned an incredibly valuable asset. They were opening for has-been one-hit-wonders in the early 90’s who told them that if there was any one quality they should practice it was being happy when there was nothing to be happy about.

They had years of practice to master the skill and soon regardless of illness, depression, home sickness, a broken heart, or a plain old bad mood they always plastered smiles to their faces and no one was any the wiser.

They all did the same that night. Though the tension was high when they all walked out of the dressing room it virtually melted away when they hit the stage. They were flawless in their performance to the outside eye, joking with each other, hitting all their marks. But down below, where costume changes and makeup touch-ups were fast and fervent the tension came back. They didn’t speak to one another, only muttered apologies for toes stepped on or pants misplaced on each other’s racks.

Once the show had wrapped up and they were taking their bows they relished in the cheers of the crowd all the while wondering if this would be the last time the five of them would ever be on a stage together.

As soon as they’d stepped off stage and headed back into the dressing room to get out of their stage clothes the reality of everything came crashing down. The men in suits were back as they all pushed through the door and Nick wondered what was going to happen.

“Boys,” Tony, their manager, greeted them with a forced smile and none of them bothered to return the sentiment.

“Why is all our stuff here?” Howie asked and it was then that Nick noticed his suitcases sitting in the corner of the room.

“We’re going to New York,” Tony said, perched on the back of the couch as the group looked around wide eyed, “Well, four of you are anyway. AJ is going to Arizona, we’re postponing the tour, and you’re going on TRL tomorrow to destroy your image and tell everyone why a whole slew of Backstreet Boys concerts are cancelled.”

The weight and severity of the man’s words was heavy with all of them but Nick couldn’t help but noticed they’d forgotten about one very important thing – him. All the focus was on AJ and what they were going to do about AJ that his time off had been ignored.

“I don’t want to be a prick here,” Nick said gently not wanting to step on any toes, “but I’m not going to New York. I have time off, I’m going to Florida.”

Despite speaking the words he knew that he was going to be told the same thing that he had been told his whole life when work got in the way of life – it’s just the price you pay.

Tony just smiled falsely, “Grab your bags, there’s a van coming to pick us up. It’s probably already here. The plane is waiting on the tarmac so we don’t have a lot of time to waste.”

“Hold up,” Nick pressed on; feeling like this was all going way too fast, “I can’t go to New York.”

“Whether you can, or you can’t... you are,” Tony’s voice was firm, “There’s no option here. Get your ass on the plane because regardless of your plans this is your job. Plans sometimes have to change for the sake of our jobs. I would have thought you’d know that by now.”

Without much complaint from anyone else they all grabbed their things and headed out the door towards the ride that was set to take them to the inevitable.

“Wait,” Nick interrupted again, “Don’t we even get to say goodbye to AJ? You’re just going to shove us in opposite directions?”

“It will be better this way,” the blue suit tried to explain, “If we linger on goodbyes it’s just going to be harder for him to go.”

Nick ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated tug, “This is such bullshit! Who has my cell phone? I have to call home; they’re going to be waiting for me at the airport in Tampa tomorrow.”

Tony continued to push them towards the door, “You can call when we get to New York. It’s late now anyway. You might as well call in the morning, what difference will it make?”

“This is insane,” Howie muttered and Nick turned to him with a look of desperation, hoping someone else would put up a fight so he wasn’t all alone.

“Are we seriously going to do this? Just leave our friend here in the hands of some crazy record company executives while we jet off to New York to supposedly destroy our careers?” Nick asked the other boys, his supposed brothers.

“We don’t have a choice,” Kevin groaned, obviously sick of Nick’s tirade, “This isn’t going to destroy our careers we’re trying to save them. I know it sucks and I know you wanted to go home and I’m sorry for that but we need to come first this time.”

“This comes first all the time!” Nick exploded just as they reached the van outside the venue, “I just need to call home. Give me five minutes.”

“Wait until we get there,” Brian finally spoke and Nick could tell his voice was full of emotion ready to spill over, “You’ll have a better chance to actually explain everything to her if you’re not in a hurry to get herded onto a plane. She deserves your undivided attention before you break all your promises.”

“I’m not breaking anything,” Nick mumbled, throwing his stuff into the back of the van before they all piled in.

At that point it was like someone had hit fast forward on life. They flew through the airport, were in the air before they had a chance to get a seatbelt on and after a short flight were landing in New York City. It wasn’t as simple as checking into a hotel and grabbing some sleep, though. As soon as they’d arrived they were debriefed. An entire conference room in the hotel had been booked and filled with record company employees that were all tasked with one thing: damage control.

They were coached on the best things to say and the best ways to say them, and given in extreme detail everything they were going to reveal to the press. To a degree they would still be keeping some secrets but overall they were telling the press, the fans, and the world about some of the darkest times they’d ever experienced. They were telling them about AJ and who he really was beyond a stage persona that everyone thought they really knew.

The hours ticked by, evening turned into night and night into morning. It wasn’t until the sun was rising over the New York skyline that they had been trained well enough to be considered ready to step in front of a camera.

“I need sleep,” Brian croaked and looked between his band mates sitting on the same couch, seeing that everyone looked quite similar – exhausted.

“I’m worried about AJ,” Howie admitted biting his nail nervously.

“I never want another cup of coffee for the rest of my life,” Nick added to the conversation, leaning his head back to rest on the sofa with a sigh.

Kevin, never being one to complain, simply stood and looked at the other three, “We only have a couple of hours. Let’s lay down. I’ll make sure someone gets us all up before we have to leave for press.”

“I don’t know that I can get upstairs,” Brian said with a groan and there was a collective chuckle as they all heaved their tired bodies out of chairs and off of couches to go up to their rooms before their public heard the news that was sure to change everything.