July 9, 2001 New York City, New York

Never had such a long, tiring day been so fast. It seemed as though they had barely closed their eyes before someone was there to wake the four of them up to start the daunting press junket. None of the reporters who came to the hotel that morning knew why they were there. Sure, there had been rumours flying as to why the Backstreet Boys were in New York City when they were supposed to be off for a few days, travelling to the next destination on their tour. All they knew when they walked in the door and registered their names was that there was an embargo. They weren’t to use any of the interviews they did until late in the afternoon. Particularly, until the moment TRL ended on MTV. After that, it was fair game, open season on the Backstreet Boys.

Nick’s energy level got lower and lower as the day went on. He was tired of telling and retelling the story of what had happened with AJ and what had lead them to cancel – no, postpone – the rest of the tour.

By the time they got to MTV he had repeated the same thing over a dozen times, and was not interested in rehashing the tale again. He told himself that he would just let Kevin do the talking in front of the cameras because he couldn’t risk breaking down on live television.

The only consolation was that as they travelled through the city no one was really expecting them and no one knew what was going on. Intelligent public relations people made the right choice in giving MTV the exclusive and keeping all the other media outlets to that.

The interview with Carson was exhausting, and it was painful to look at the girls in the audience weeping and inconsolable. They were acting as if they were so hurt by what had happened but they didn’t know the half of it. It disgusted Nick to look at them hugging each other and wiping away their tears when it should have been him doing that. They weren’t AJ’s friends; they didn’t love him like he loved him. It wasn’t fair that they could to express emotion for a stranger but he couldn’t cry over his best friend.

He held his breath for so long during the interview that by the time they got back to the green room he was gasping for breath. Sitting down on the couch, Nick put his head between his knees, trying to catch his breath and just have a moment to himself before someone else was poking and prodding at him.

“Hey, Nick?” he heard Howie’s voice but he ignored him, not wanting to talk to anyone right then, “Nicky?” he voice repeated.

“Nick, are you listening? Howie is talking to you,” this time it was Kevin and Nick rolled his eyes before looking up at the pair.

“What do you want?” he asked, completely defeated.

“Where’s your cell phone?” Howie asked, not acknowledging the younger man’s mood.

Nick looked around between their bodyguards, patted his pockets and shrugged, “I dunno man, why? Do you need to make a call? I’m sure someone else can help you out.”

Howie didn’t miss a beat, getting right to the point, “I have three missed calls from your brother.”

“I have one from Tina,” Brian jumped in, holding up his own mobile phone.

“Shit! I never called to tell them not to pick me up!” Nick groaned, getting up out of his seat, “Can someone lend me their phone for a second? She probably called Aaron looking for me. I need to call and explain.”

“They probably heard the news and were calling about AJ,” Brian theorized, “Then they would have known not to go to the airport to get you.”

“Right,” Nick nodded, forgetting they had just been on live television. The first number he called was the house phone, but it went to voicemail. He followed up with Tina’s cell phone but again it went straight to voicemail, “That’s weird,” he said to himself before dialling the number to the guest house, hoping to get through to one of his in-laws.

The phone seemed to ring forever before a familiar click let Nick know it had been forwarded to a cell phone.

“Hello?” a frantic voice asked, “Nick is that you?”

“Lynn? What’s going on?” he asked, wondering why they would be so anxious to reach him.

“Oh thank goodness. Did you get my messages? We’ve been trying to get you on the phone but I figured you had your phone off for the flight. I’m sorry no one was there to pick you up. I’m so glad you’re here though. You are here right? Do you need to know what floor we’re on...”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Nick interrupted, “Lynn, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m in New York.”

“What do you mean you’re in New York?!” her voice was shrill and Nick could only imagine the expression on her face.

“It’s kind of a long story; I’ll get into it later. Just tell me what’s going on. Is Tina okay?”

Lynn let out a big breath and Nick waited anxiously, “She’s in the hospital.”

“What?!” it was Nick’s turn to explode, “She’s not due for three weeks yet!”

“She’s not in labour yet,” Lynn clarified, “We have been waiting for you. She was making us wait for you. She woke up in the middle of the night not feeling very well; we went to the emergency room just to err on the side of caution and the doctor felt that her blood pressure was too high. He decided he wanted to induce labour but she’s been fighting it, saying you need to be here first! They’re not going to wait much longer Nick. They are giving her another hour before they plan on going ahead.”

Nick ran a frustrated hand through his hair, not able to believe that this day had just gotten worse. He was sure that prior to this phone call he had hit the bottom of the barrel, “I can’t make it in an hour.”

“We’ll try to hold off,” Lynn promised him, “but we can’t risk Tina or the baby just for you.”

“I understand. I just... really want to be there.”

“No promises, Nick,” Lynn said, her voice becoming curt, “Get on a plane.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I possibly can,” he assured her before hanging up the phone, noticing everyone standing around him staring intently, “I need to go,” he told the room and while the boys all nodded Tony laughed aloud.

“No way,” their manager said, shaking his head, “We have a lot more press to do!”

“Fuck that,” Nick said with a shrug before motioning to his bodyguard to grab his stuff, “I’m not missing the birth of my child for this. Sue me if you want, I don’t care. I’m going and you can’t stop me.”

Surprised by Nick’s resistance Tony just fell back in his seat and threw his hands up in the air, “Fine, go, and ruin your career. See if I care.”

“Forget him,” Brian said, ignoring the fact that Tony was even in the room, “Go get on a plane.”

“Brian,” Nick suddenly spoke as if the two of them were alone, “I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t make it. I wasn’t there when Parker was born and that was really hard for me.”

Brian grabbed Nick by the shoulders, “Don’t let it bring you down. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the room at the time your child is your child no matter what. You have to love them just as much even if you weren’t in the room at the time.”

“It’s just...” Nick sighed, “You wouldn’t understand. None of you understand. They always say that those first couple of hours are such an important time for the mom and the baby to bond but they don’t talk about when the fathers get to do that. At least if I were there when the baby gets to take its first breath or opens its eyes for the first time I would have something that she doesn’t have for once.”

Not knowing exactly what to say Brian patted Nick on the back, “You better hurry then.”