July 13, 2001 Tampa, Florida

Nick took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts before he began to speak, “I know that words will never make up for my actions over the past couple of days. Sorry may seem like just a word but I really mean it when I say I’m sorry. I don’t know what I can do to make it up to you but I promise you that I will do whatever it takes. My promises may not mean very much to you but I plan on keeping them. I plan on changing all of the stereotypes I’ve given myself, and showing you that I can be a better person for you and for our kids. I love you.”

Silence was his response and Nick dropped his head, looking down into the bathroom sink. He had gone over at least four variations of the same speech, practicing them all in front of the mirror. He wasn’t sure which one he was going to use, if any of them, or if he would actually be able to follow through once Tina was standing in front of him.

With a sigh he looked back into the mirror and started putting shaving cream on damp his face so he could get rid of the ‘shit’, as his father had called it, that had accumulated over his days lying in bed.

He was in the zone, carefully working on the skin above his lip when a sharp knock on the door made him jump.

“Fuck,” he muttered, seeing that he’d nicked himself and it was now bleeding, “One second,” he said to the door grabbing a piece of toilet paper to stop the bleeding before walking the short distance to the door.

Swinging it open he was surprised to see Tina standing on the other side. Not knowing what to say he shifted from foot to foot, hand still on the knob.

“What are you doing home so soon?”

“Are you disappointed?” she asked, arms crossed firmly across her chest as she took him in. He was dressed in only a towel, which was secured tightly around his waist, and had shaving cream covering most of his face which was now dripping down his neck, “Your dad told me an hour ago that you were in the shower. I thought maybe you’d drowned.”

“I just wasn’t expecting you until later on,” he clarified, “Have you been out here long?”

Tina shook her head, pushing her hair behind her ears, “No, maybe a minute or so.”

‘Thank God,’ Nick thought, having been paranoid that she had been standing outside of the door while he was practicing all of his speeches.

“You’re...” Tina pointed at his face and sighed, “You’re bleeding.”

“Fuck,” Nick muttered for a second time, moving back into the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. He had cut himself pretty good with the razor so he put more pressure on it in the hopes that it would clot faster.

Tina moved into the bathroom after him and picked up his razor off the vanity, “Do you want some help?”

Nick stared at her, slightly unnerved by the request, not really knowing why she was acting so nice when she should hate him.

“I’m not going to slit your throat or anything, I’m not that vindictive,” she said with a chuckle but he didn’t know if he believed her wholeheartedly, “You obviously aren’t doing a very good job so I thought I might be able to help you out.”

Though he was still curious of her intentions, Nick nodded, “Alright that would be great, my hands are a little shaky today to be honest.”

Built in between the double sinks was a small area for a guest to sit and do their makeup. Tina pulled out the chair and motioned for Nick to sit so he would be at a decent height for her to see and reach his face properly.

Tilting his head she held the razor steadily, making an experienced stroke over his cheek before leaning over to rinse the razor out in the sink, which Nick had filled with warm water.

“You’ve done this before, I take it?” he asked curiously.

“Shh,” Tina said, tilting his head again, “Don’t talk. You don’t want me to cut you, do you?”

Now he was officially nervous. He didn’t think that she was going to kill him (intentionally) but he couldn’t help but feel his blood pump a little bit harder every time she made a pass over his jugular.

“I’m kind of glad I have you in this position,” Tina suddenly spoke, slanting Nick’s head up so she could shave under his chin, “I was hoping I would have to come up with some way to get you to shut up so I could talk but it seems as though you did all the work for me.”

Nick said nothing, only listened as she continued.

“I know just what you’re going to say to me and I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear about how sorry you are and how you want to make it up to me, how you’re going to be a better person and you’re going to start keeping your promises...”

She had hit the nail on the head. That was almost exactly what he had planned on saying, in all four versions of the speech. Clearly it was not the first time he had tried that approach before.

“I’m tired of your lies...hearing you say one thing and do the opposite. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last couple of days and I realized something...”

Regardless of the position of the razor against his throat Nick turned, “Please don’t leave me.”

“Shh!” Tina stressed again, pushing his head back, “I’m not going to leave you. Not yet, anyway. The more I sat around waiting for you to come back to the hospital the more I realized that I have put way too much expectation into you. You have some very significant flaws. I know I’m not perfect by any means but you keep hurting me even when you say you’re not trying to. But as much as I want to just walk away, I can’t. I’m in too deep now, and when I think about being on my own or trying to start over, looking for someone else...”

He cringed, not wanting to think of her out looking for other men.

“I just can’t bear the thought. The more I think about you the more I realize that despite all of those flaws your good really does outweigh your bad. For every time you’ve hurt me I remember a time you’ve loved me, and our family. I remember how excited you were the day you were supposed to get here and I know there are a lot of things you wish you could take back. I can’t hate you if we’re going to make this work.”

Tina rinsed the razor for the final time then grabbed a towel from the bar next to her, using it to wipe his face clean of any extra shaving cream.

“So, does that mean...” Nick began to speak but was again interrupted.

“I’m not done,” Tina told him, “I have to get to the conclusion. To sum everything up I spent four days hating you only to realize I love you too much to leave you. But if you want me to stay I’m going to need something from you so that I’m protected. So that should the day ever come that you do something that can’t be forgiven then the kids and I will be okay.”

“Whatever it is, I’ll do it. I love you,” Nick told her without another thought, reaching up to grab her hands once she’d dropped the towel on the vanity.

Knowing he wasn’t going to like her response at all, Tina grinned slightly, “Marry me.”