March 05, 2002 Tampa, Florida

She was humming in the bathroom while brushing her teeth. Normally he would be ragging on her for the fact that she was completely tone deaf, but this time he was thankful that she was busy doing something else. Quickly Nick reached for his underwear off the side of the bed, slipping them on before making his way out of the room and downstairs to the guest bathroom. He’d left the pill bottle there the night before when they were messing around but now he needed to investigate further.

He collected the bottle then made his way into his office, shaking the mouse until the computer came to life. A new browser popped open and he typed the symbols he’d seen on the pills into a search engine.

“C – I – B – A three,” he read under his breath as he typed the letters into the search box.

He was astounded by the results. Over four million websites came up matching the keywords he’d searched. He sifted through sites about contact lenses, and baseball associations before stumbling upon a site called drugs dot com.

“Methylphenidate,” he sounded out the word after finding the section about the CIBA 3 imprint. Most of the information referred to the generic name of the drug, nothing he recognized, and information about the manufacturer. He copied the drug’s scientific name and tried plugged that into the search box, hoping he might get some more insight. He impatiently tapped his bare foot on the hardwood floor as he waited for the page to load.

A new set of search results appeared on the screen painting a very different picture of what he was holding in his hand. This time instead of random websites, and fancy technical names there was site after site talking about stimulant ADHD medications, psycho stimulants, and oral Ritalin.

He was staring at the computer, completely perplexed, “Ritalin?” he voiced aloud, wondering why on earth Tina would have ADD medication in the house.

He leaned back in his chair, holding both hands on top of his head as he thought of the best way to approach the situation. As much as he didn’t want to he knew he had to just grit his teeth and come out and ask her about what was up, and whether the pills were even hers.

“DADDY!” he heard yelled down the hall and he smiled at Parker’s subtlety, “DADDY ARE YOU LOST?”

“Parker, I’m coming,” Nick called back with a laugh, dropping the pill bottle into his desk drawer. He quickly jogged out of his office and down the hall towards the sound of the boy’s voice. In some ways the house was definitely too large for the four of them but often times it felt far too small.

Parker was standing in the kitchen in his pajamas, clutching a stuffed dolphin to his chest, “I’m hungry!” he announced the second Nick had walked into the room.

“Okay, your highness,” the older blond chuckled. He got Parker set up on his booster seat then poured him a bowl of Cheerios. He put a little bit of milk in, but not enough to spill, and set it down in front of him with his spoon.

While Parker started eating Nick started pulling bottles out of the dishwasher to get Zoey’s day measured and ready. She was to the point now where she didn’t have the same size bottle through the day because she was starting to get solid food so they both found it easier to get everything ready ahead of time. He lined up the bottles and filled them with liners from a drawer before grabbing a measuring cup to start filling them. Once they were all filled with the right amount of water he topped them with nipples and caps and lined them up along the counter’s back splash for easy access. He took formula out of the cupboard above his head and scooped out enough for Zoey’s breakfast, dropping it into one of the pre-measured bottles and shaking the mixture together. It was not something he would have ever been able to picture himself doing in the past. He didn’t even know that people did this until he saw Tina doing it and now it was just second nature. Next he mixed up a package of baby oatmeal and popped the lid on a container of pureed strawberries that Tina's mother had made the previous week, mixing a bit in to the cereal.

Lynn and Tina were into making the baby food and Nick often used some of it for himself. His mind was always blown by the fact that they got the seeds out of the fruit and he found it to be the perfect topping for ice cream, and good in a smoothy. He just didn't mention to the women that he was probably eating more of the baby food than Zoey. 

"She was not in the mood to get up this morning," Tina announced as she walked into the room holding Zoey on her hip. The baby's fine blond hair was sticking up in a million directions, almost identical to the way her father's was and her big blue eyes stared up at him sleepily, "Clearly she takes after you," she added before handing the girl over to Nick.

Nick bounced Zoey lightly in his arms, trying to improve her mood while Tina went about getting their breakfast ready. He was staring at her back while she went through the fridge, only looking away long enough to pull Zoey's hands away from the chain that was around his neck.

"Do you think we could have some face time later?" he asked curiously while she filled the toaster with a few pieces of bread.

Tina turned and raised an eyebrow in his direction, "What do you mean?" she wondered.

"Like," Nick searched for the words, taking enough time in his pause to go to the table and get Zoey into her highchair, "Can we talk later? During nap time maybe?"

"Sounds serious," Tina mused, pushing the handle down on the toaster, "Since when do you want to talk?"

"Since right now," he said with a roll of his eyes. He brought the baby food he'd prepared over to the table, handing Zoey her bottle which she took greedily, gripping it tightly in both hands, "There's just something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Alright," she agreed just as the toast popped and she started putting peanut butter on two pieces for him.

~*~

Later that afternoon Nick found Tina sitting at the kitchen table sorting through a bunch of pictures. He had paid for a professional photographer to come in and take pictures of the kids doing every day things; playing, eating, being nuisances, so that Tina could scrapbook their first year of being together.

She had them all laid out in front of her on the table and when Nick sat down he started piling them up so he wouldn't get marks on the glossy paper.

Tina smiled over at him, "What's up?" she asked, remembering that he'd said he had wanted to talk to her about something.

Nick cleared his throat anxiously and reached into his pocket, pulling out the pill bottle. He sat it on the table between them and didn't say anything, just let her observe.

"Okay," Tina chuckled nervously, "What's that?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," he said, crossing his arms over his chest, "I found it in the kid's bathroom yesterday."

Tina was the type of person that wore her emotions very clearly on her face. She had a hard time keeping secrets or telling lies when they weren't hurtful, let alone when they were. So as much as she tried to keep it cool Nick could tell that she was nervous about something.

"I don't know what it is," she shrugged, seeming a bit too laid back about the situation.

"Oh, you don't?" he asked sarcastically, reaching out to pull the cap off the bottle. He tipped it over so the pills spilled out on the table and leaned towards her, "I do. It’s Ritalin."

She shrugged again, "I didn't know you were on any medication."

"I'm not;" he answered quickly, "Are you?"

"Look Nick, I don't know what you think is happening but those-"

Suddenly he lashed out, interrupting her with a firm slap of his hand against the table, "Stop it. Tell me the truth."

Tina jumped at the loud sound, her heart banging in her chest. They stared each other down for a while before finally Tina let out a heavy sigh, running her fingers through her long hair, "Okay fine, they're mine, but I haven't taken any of them or anything."

"Where did you get them? Why do you have them?" he asked rapid fire, feeling the tension in his body grow the angrier he became.

Tina took a deep breath and began to hash out the whole story. She told him the absolute truth; that she had been complaining about his attitude to Max and the other woman had told her the back story of how she had reeled in her own husband. She told him that it was Max who acquired the pills for her shortly before Christmas, but that she had never followed through with the plan. She couldn't stand the thought of him being anyone other than himself. She had fallen in love with this Nick, however manic he may be at times, so she couldn't justify trying to modify that without his knowledge. She didn't know how to get rid of the pills at the time and had stowed them away in the medicine cabinet. After that she had essentially forgotten all about them until Nick put the bottle on the table. She only hoped he would believe her, and ultimately forgive her.