Chapter 43

March 06, 2002 Tampa, Florida

Stone faced he sat at the table, leaning against his hand, fingers firmly over his mouth as if he were holding back his words. A million little things were running through his mind. He wanted to be angry, and embarrassed, and sad all at the same time but he couldn't seem to settle on a singular emotion. He wondered what Tina could have been thinking when she agreed to deceive him so boldly. He had often times thought that although the words she spoke indicated her love for him that she was harbouring a deep seeded resentment against him. He now knew how she felt all those times she had told him how difficult it was to trust him because he wasn't sure when or if he was going to be able to completely trust her, despite the fact that she was honest in the end.

"Do you hate me?" he finally spoke. He moved his hand away from his mouth and rested it on the table but he didn't tear his eyes away from the grains in the wood, not feeling confident enough to make eye contact.

Tina shook her head, taking a quick second to wipe her eyes free of the tears that were silently running down her cheeks, "No," she whispered, "I don't know what I was thinking. You're just so... frustrating sometimes and for a split second I thought that I might be able to fix things."

"By drugging me?!" he snapped, finally looking up at her, "You think you're so great to live with? Like your shit don't stink? Because it does! Sometimes I think you're annoying, and sometimes I find you frustrating but I wouldn't do anything that could hurt you to try and fix it."

"I didn't do anything-"

"YOU WERE GOING TO!" he finally yelled, pushing away from the table. He was up and pacing the kitchen floor, running his hands angrily through his hair, "I can't believe you. After everything I have done for you..."

Tina couldn't hold back a scoff and she immediately felt Nick's eyes burning into the side of her face.
He walked over to her and with one hand on the table and the other on the chair back leaned over curiously, cocking one ear in her direction, "I'm sorry I missed that. Was there something you wanted to say? Because it sure sounded like you wanted to say something."

"I hate when you're like this," Tina whispered, her lips just inches from Nick's ear. He had a tendency when he was angry with her to never look her in the eye. He would face his ear to her as if trying to hear her better but it drove her crazy. She found it disrespectful that he didn't want to look at her while they were talking.

"You hate when I'm like this?" he repeated her words sarcastically, "Well you're probably not going to like me very much later either."

Tina watched curiously as he moved away from her and cleared the kitchen, grabbing her purse off the counter, “What are you doing? How dare you!” she leaped to her feet and grabbed for the bag as he dumped it out onto the table.

“I pay for this,” he said as he pocketed her cell phone, “and this,” he took the Amex card out of her wallet and they joined her phone in his pants.

“Nick, stop!” Tina pleaded, still grabbing at his hands as he took away what little property she had, “What if I need to call someone while I’m out?”

“You won’t need to,” he assured her as he held up her car keys teasingly in front of her face, “You don’t have a car.”

“This isn’t fair,” she complained, her hands running through her hair angrily.

“If you want to go somewhere you ask me and I’ll take you. If you need to buy something you ask me and I will go and buy it for you. Can you really blame me for not trusting you right now? You just admitted to me that you were going to drug me with Ritalin! Like some kind of mind control!” he exclaimed, “You act like I’ve never done anything for you yet you live for free in this house, and you drive a nice car, and have a top of the line cell phone, and if you ever asked me I would get you anything you needed.”

Tina rolled her eyes, holding back the temptation to pout over losing her things, “That’s not true. You always give me a guilt trip if I ask for anything for myself.”

“That’s a lie.”

“It is not a lie!” she defended, “You make me feel so bad every time I ask for something! You treat me like I’m your child and I have to build up the confidence to ask you for something as stupid as new jeans while you’re in head to toe designer clothes! You’re not my father. I already have one of those and he doesn’t treat me the way you do!”

“I don’t treat you like you’re my child!” Nick’s voice was sharp with anger.

“You’re taking away my things, Nick!” Tina threw her arms out, not able to keep her voice from rising, “You’re taking everything away from me like some kind of punishment! I’m half expecting you to send me to my room!”

“It’s time to stop this,” he said with a heavy sigh, shaking his head at her, “Grow up! If you want me to stop treating you like a child, stop acting like a child! You’re always judging me for being immature but sometimes you are too. Right now you’re acting like a spoiled brat, complaining because you don’t have what you want. I’m putting my foot down. I don’t want to have to treat you like a kid but I’ve had enough of this back and forth. I’m done with the drama. You can earn these things back from me but one thing that I’m not going to put up with is you seeing... her.”

Tina crossed her arms firmly across her chest and stared him down. She couldn’t believe that he of all people was accusing her of being immature, or childish, “We’re supposed to be sharing our lives, Nick,” she hissed, “We’re supposed to be one unit. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. How can you take things away from me when you disagree with me because you pay for them but expect me to share things with you?”

Nick shrugged, “You get what you give. You don’t have respect for me; I’m not going to give you any respect.”

Tina let out a frustrated grunt and pulled on the ends of her hair. She felt like they were at a stalemate. Nothing either one of them could say was going to result in any progress. He didn’t trust her because she made a mistake, but she didn’t feel like he was keeping in mind that she had never followed through with the plan. She knew that her only real option was going to be listening to him and doing whatever he wanted because that was how Nick operated. If she didn’t relent, and just accept her new reality he wouldn’t let it go. She wasn’t going to stop seeing Max, she had already settled on that. The older woman was her only friend in the entire state and she had just found her. She couldn’t imagine removing Max from her life so quickly. She knew she had made a mistake, and it was probably the last time she would follow along with one of the other woman’s crazy ideas. After all, Max was a double divorcee; she wasn’t exactly the most reliable person to take relationship advice from. She would satisfy Nick though and tell him what he wanted to hear. After all, he was rarely around to know what she was doing anyway and who was he to tell her what she who she was allowed to be friends with.