July 09, 2005 Cleveland, Ohio

Tina couldn’t argue with him. It wasn’t as though she held him personally responsible for what Zoey was going through but if the reason the girl was so quiet was because of their split, and Tina believed that Nick was the cause of the split then by default he would have played a role in it as much as she had.

“So this is a really nice place,” she said diffusing the conversation. She wanted to keep digging deeper with him but wasn’t sure whether or not he had a lock on his temper. She didn’t want to deal with an angry Nick. That was, after all, a huge factor in why she left, “Can’t have been cheap.”

“It wasn’t,” Nick shrugged, “But I had more than enough money from the house to buy this place out in cash, no mortgage. Not that I wouldn't have had the money before but it just made the decision easier.”

Tina gasped, “You’re selling the house?”

“Not selling,” he corrected, “I sold the house. I didn’t need that great big house to myself and I didn’t have any interest in being all alone in Tampa anymore. The only reason I kept it so long was because part of me was hoping you would come back.”

She ignored his confession, clearing her throat uncomfortably, “So are you just going to stay here?”

Nick shook his head, shifting from one foot to the other to get more comfortable in his position against the counter, “Nah, just when I have the kids,” he told her, “I’m back in the studio with the boys so I got a place in L.A.”

"California?" Tina questioned rhetorically, both eyebrows raised, "How is that going to work? What if something happens and we need you here? What if the kids have something going on and you're three time zones away?"

In the back of her mind she couldn't help but think that California would just be a bad move for Nick. It really had nothing to do with the kids but more about the fact that she felt like it would be easier for him to forget about them, about her. He would surround himself with that celebrity lifestyle, find a trashy girlfriend, buy a mansion and she'd never hear from him again save for his signature at the bottom of his child support contributions.

"You haven't needed me in three years," Nick spat spitefully, turning away from her to grab mugs out of the cupboard, "You didn't tell me about Parker's kindergarten graduation, or that he was in T-Ball, or about Zoey's baptism, I wasn't even invited to any of those things and they were all important to me. So what could the kids possibly have on the go that you would need me for? You seem to have things under control just fine without me."

"I didn't want it to be that way Nick," she told him sadly, watching as he poured the coffee and proceeded to make hers exactly the way she took it. She was surprised that he remembered, "I don't have any excuse for not telling you about those things except that I was afraid to see you."

He couldn't help but laugh as he crossed the room and put her mug down next to her on the kitchen island, "Then you're way more selfish than I ever thought. What did you think I would do? Take the kids? I did everything you ever asked for, I sent you checks every month and kept to my pathetic visitation schedule. I let you know about everything that was happening in my life so you would always know where I was if I was touring or whatever and I got absolutely nothing in return. You wouldn't even speak to me until yesterday! I can't have been that horrible to you."

"You were suffocating me!" she exclaimed, quickly wiping away a tear before he could notice it escape and run down her cheek, "You were the selfish one, I never got to be! You were always holding it over my head that you were the one with all the money, and all the power, and I was just the baby maker."

"Not true," he defended but he knew that part of what she was saying had some truth behind it. He'd had three years to reflect on their relationship and he knew that he had been incredibly selfish, but he was also young, stupid and scared.

"True," she challenged, sitting up straight on the tall bar stool so she was closer to his height, "How many times did you accuse me of using you for your money? How many times did you try and tell me I was worthless and was just some stupid girl looking to 'get stuffed' on spring break? You were the one who came up to me, you know. You were the one that instigated it all, and you being the experienced out of the two of us should have been the one smart enough to put on a condom. You didn't though, did you? Because you were just some stupid guy on spring break looking to get laid, and you've blamed me for it every day since. One minute you'd be telling me how much you loved me and the next you'd be threatening to take all of my earthly belongings away from me. How is that healthy, Nick? How could you want to continue to live that way?"

"Love," he said, leaning his elbows against the kitchen island and she raised an eyebrow in his direction as if to ask if that was all he had to say after her revelation, "You said loved, past tense."

Tina sighed and shook her head in frustration, "You're missing the point, as per usual."

Nick put his head into his hands, pulling on the ends of his hair until they stuck up on end, "No, I get the point," he said, pulling back to look her in the eye, "I was an asshole. I know that. I was just a kid, stupid, jealous and immature."

"You were old enough, mature enough, to get me pregnant twice! You should have been old enough to deal with the consequences. Somehow I managed to be mature enough to handle it all and I'm barely three months older than you," she pointed out before lifting her mug to her lips.

Nick let out a frustrated grunt. He didn't know quite how to express to her that he had changed for the better. She was a much better debater than he was and he felt like no matter what he said she was poised to have a retort that would cancel out whatever he said.

"It was different for you," he finally said quietly, picking at a piece of skin at his thumb so he didn't have to see her expression, "You got nine months to carry around this baby, get to know it, come to terms with the future. I felt like I had just been thrust into everything. I was scared out of my mind. Things were so screwed up and all I ever wanted was to feel like I was part of our family and I never did. I honestly felt like I was just the bank account, not the father. So I guess I was trying to prove my masculinity or something by being overpowering and it was wrong. I know that now. I want to try again, I want for us to be a family."

Tina's breath caught in her throat as he finished. She knew it was coming, she'd known since he showed up in the store the day before that the only reason he would have come to Cleveland would be to try and win her back but she didn't think it would be so quick before he would tell her. It scared her because the emotional part of her wanted to throw her arms around him and say yes but the rational partof her was telling her to run away from him, to get away as fast as she could before she got hurt again.

"It's too late, Nick."

"No, it's not!" he argued, looking at her with pleading eyes, "Don't say that, it's not too late. If anything the kids deserve to have a proper family, we should at least try, for them."

It was Tina's turn to be frustrated. She got up off the stool, collecting her things, "I did try, Nick. I tried for years. Maybe you should have tried a little harder when you had the chance."

"This is about that guy, isn't it?" Nick assumed spitefully, following her out of the kitchen and through the living room, "You're all independent now and you've moved on and you have a boyfriend so why would you need me right? Even though I'm way better looking than that guy, and I can actually support you."

Tina laughed, "This has nothing to do with him though as usual you make everything about yourself. And if you can support me how come you never did? I'm not talking about financially, either. How come you never supported me in anything I ever did?"

"I did though, didn't I?" he questioned, motioning around the room, "You wanted to leave and I let you. You wanted a new life so I paid for you and the kids to have one. I could have come looking for you, I could have sued you for custody but I didn't because I was supporting your decision."

Tossing her arms out in the air she admitted defeat. She couldn't argue with him because for once he was actually right. He had supported her decision to leave, it was the only time she could remember that he ever did, "You win, Nick," she shrugged, not prepared to fight that early in the morning, "As always, you win."

"It's not about winning!"

"Isn't it though?" she asked curiously, "Isn't that what you want? To win me? To win your old life back?"

"No," Nick said softly, shaking his head, "This isn't about me winning and it's not about you, either. It's about them," he pointed in the direction of the bedrooms where their children lie sleeping.

"I need to go," Tina choked out emotionally, tears building in her eyes. She barely made it out the door before a sob escaped her lips. She fell back against the wall in the hallway, mentally kicking herself. She was terrified that she was going to end up back with Nick before he left Cleveland, torn between what was best for their kids and what would probably destroy her in the end.