July 11, 2005 Los Angeles, California

When they’d first started the exercise Nick thought it was pretty asinine, but now that he’d been thinking about his list he was beginning to think it was pretty valuable. There had been a large wedge in their relationship that had been all the things that had gone unsaid. If they were upfront with each other, and put all their cards on the table they would know for sure whether or not it was worth going forward. If he couldn’t agree to her list, and she to his then there really was no point because they would only end up repeating the same mistakes and following down the same path they’d started on. He watched her writing for a moment and it seemed as though her list was getting pretty long while his barely had two things on it. He could only imagine what she was writing down and he silently wondered if she was going to make impossible requests as a way of getting out of being with him. He focused back on his own list pulling his legs underneath him to sit cross legged on the bench.

“Okay, I think I’m done,” Tina announced, putting her crayon down next to her.

Nick looked up wide eyed then back down to his piece of paper, “I’m done not yet.”

“Take your time,” she encouraged him, leaning back on her hands to watch as he worked on his list. Admittedly it hadn’t taken her long because she had been thinking about these things for a while. She had mentally been adding up all of the things that were wrong in their relationship before and knew that it would never last if there wasn’t some kind of compromise. It wasn’t until that night that she had actually considered writing them all down and sharing them with one another but if they were going to try again she figured they should start off with a certain amount of honesty. She couldn’t be with him if he was going to expect the same things from her as before which was that she be subservient and invisible.

“I need to ask something,” Nick said suddenly, putting his crayon down, “I need to know before we go through all of this.”

Tina raised an eyebrow curiously then encouraged him to go ahead. He took a deep breath and scratched his head just above his eyebrow, mussing up his hair quickly – a sure sign that he was nervous about whatever he was going to ask.

“Does your boyfriend know you’re here?” he asked, “am I going to do all this then have you tell me you’re in love with someone else?”

Tina sighed and put her elbow on the railing, leaning her head against her fist, “What boyfriend?”

“That guy,” he said dismissively with a shrug, “the one from your store. It seemed like you two had something and you didn’t deny it.”

She knew that it had gotten to him to see her with another guy. It had made her both giddy and sad. She liked that he desired her enough to be jealous but deep down she remembered how anger fueled his jealousy could become and it made her afraid that he had never changed at all. She needed to be able to work, or interact, with other men without him assuming that she was cheating on him.

"He's just a guy from work," Tina clarified, "We went on a couple of dates but that's all. I didn't need to call him because I don't have any sort of commitment to him. He's not my boyfriend, okay?"

Nick nodded and glanced down at his list, about to continue but the question at the tip of his tongue was begging to get out, "When you say you went on a couple of dates, what does that mean?"

Tina laughed and shook her head at him, running her hand through her ponytail, habitually tugging at the ends, "I knew you were going to go there. It means we went on a couple of dates. We had dinner, went to a movie or two. I'm not going to interrogate you about all the girls you went on dates with in the last three years, I saw enough in the tabloids to know that I'm not interested in the details. I just hope you got all the porn stars out of your system."

"She was a Playboy bunny not a porn star," Nick said quickly, knowing exactly which tabloid article Tina was likely referencing, "and I'm just curious. We're supposed to be open and honest with each other right? Well... I need to put my mind at ease. I just want to know how serious is a couple of dates?"

She couldn't believe he was going there, but he had been right about being honest so she figured he deserved an answer, "Not serious," she told him truthfully, "I know what you're getting at and it's not fair. You practically had a harem following you around ready to do your every whim and the only thing that will put your mind at ease is knowing that I didn't sleep with him? I didn't sleep with him, or anyone, in the last three years. You win; pat yourself on your macho back."

He could have argued that he wasn't trying to be macho and come up with some lame excuse as to why he was curious but he couldn't think on his feet that well. Instead he looked her in the eye and reached him, patting himself on the back to the best of his ability. His joke could have gone either way but he was relieved when Tina's face broke into a smile and she laughed at his ridiculousness. 

"Five year olds share better than you," she teased, scooting over on the bench so she was closer to him, their knees touching. 

He smiled and nudged her, "I know. I can't help it. I'm trying though, I mean, I didn't beat him up before I knew what happened. That's a step in the right direction," she agreed with a nod and he glanced down to his page again, deciding then that there was nothing more that he could possibly ask of her so long as she put up with his idiosyncrasies, "I'm ready."

It became clear that neither of them knew where to begin or which one of them should start the conversation as a silence fell over them. It wasn't as if there was a protocol for that kind of thing and Tina wasn't sure if she wanted feedback after each point she'd written down on her page or whether she wanted him to hear her out first. 

Deciding that she would be the first to slaughter she cleared her throat and looked down at her crayon riddled paper, "Okay... I know this is probably going to be awkward at points and I do want your feedback. We need to be able to talk through things maturely and see each other's points of view so tell me if something is bugging you. The first thing I'm going to need from you is for you to agree to see someone. I think that a lot of your anger issues can be worked on and I would be willing to go with you."

He resisted the urge to scoff but saw her point. A lot of their problems had come down to fighting so if going to some shrink and talking about it with a mediator was going to help then he couldn't argue with that. He nodded and encouraged her to continue, not having much to say beyond agreement. 

"The next thing is that if our relationship is going to be open and honest as far as sharing our feelings it needs to be the same way in all regard. If we're going to be together then we need to be one unit, and I think that includes financially. I'm working, making my own money and I'd like to see it in a joint bank account. I'm done begging you for money. I'm not a threat to your nest egg, I'm not going to start buying Ferraris, and you know that."

"Save your money," Nick waved her off, "It's yours. I didn't realize at the time that I was being such a jerk with money. I told you before, I liked feeling needed. At the same time I didn't really grasp how much money I really had, I was just a kid. Now I know that I'm set for the rest of my life. You could go and buy a Ferrari and I would still have more money than I could spend, that's just how it is. I'm ready and willing to share it now."

Tina couldn't believe how well this was going. She had fully expected him to argue with her, to give her a bunch of bullshit reasons why he couldn't agree but he was even acknowledging his past faults. The support made her feel a little bolder and she mentally added a final item to the list, hoping for the best. 

"We need to start working together too so no more surprises. We plan things together and if you want to throw parties or go to football games, or whatever I need to be consulted, we need to be a team," he nodded in agreement again and she smiled slightly, "the next ones kind of go together... I want us to go on vacation every year, just me and you. And in the summer when you're on tour I want us to go with you. Being apart was a huge problem for us, and I want the kids to be able to say that they saw the world - not that their dad has seen it."

Nick had been infamous in not wanting the kids to grow up on the road but he could see how a little summer vacation while he was touring would be both education and fun for them. It would be hectic and a lot of work but if it was what Tina needed to be with him again then it was worth agreeing to, "Is that all?" he asked jokingly, waving his own list around. He went to start his own speech when she interrupted him. 

"No," she said with a shake of her head. There was nothing left on her written list but there was something else she wanted, "I have one more thing. I know we haven't really talked about anything like this but... before I'm 30 I'd like to have another baby."

Nick laughed, thinking she was joking but her face stayed serious, "You're not kidding?" he asked and she shook her head, "wow, I definitely didn't see that coming. You want to have another baby?" 

"I'm not saying I want it to happen tomorrow but yes."

"Thirty is only five years away!" he said, still taking it all in. He thought long and hard for a moment, biting at the skin on the outside of his thumb as he thought. He wasn't sure if he wanted more than the kids they had, he kind of enjoyed the dynamic of having 'one of each'. His mind immediately went to how challenging it would be if they ever broke up again, how much more difficult it would be to tour with another baby. When he considered it though, the request wasn't really a deal breaker. He had agreed to a lot already that was outside his usual comfort zone, what was one more thing? "okay," Nick agreed, dropping his hand away from his mouth, silently wondering if she had asked that hoping he would disagree but when Tina smiled he knew it was a legitimate request. 

"Your turn," she encouraged and he took a look at his list. She hadn't really asked for much in the grand scheme of things but they were significant changes compared to how their relationship had gone in the past.

"Mine is shorter than yours," he stammered, scratching his head nervously, "Uh, I guess this kind of goes back to what you were saying about money. I know you're doing your own thing right now but I don't want you to work. I want you to stay at home with the kids. I'm more than happy to share my money. Your real job is being a Mommy."

Tina chuckled, knowing deep down that he was going to ask that. She was a little bit offended that he wanted her sitting at home baking pies and doing laundry but she couldn't help but be somewhat flattered. Women fought so hard for work equality but she knew a lot of women that would kill to be able to sit at home and watch soap operas and get paid for it. 

Taking her silence as an agreement he cleared his throat and continued, "It'll be easier once we have the other baby too," he added, "The next thing is I want you to go to school. You always talked about how you had these big plans for college and I think you should take a couple of courses. That'll keep you busy during the day when the kids are in school."

"Wow..." Tina said, not having expected him to have two things in a row that were essentially to her benefit. Who would she be to not agree? Unless, of course, he wanted to make it impossible for her not to agree, "I would love that."

"Great, so I think that we should live here away from your parents," he quickly rambled, attempting to move on to the next item but Tina stopped him. 

"Live here?" she asked, "in a condo? Don't you think the kids would like a backyard to play in?"

"Who wouldn't want the beach as their backyard?" he asked rhetorically, motioning to the darkened sand, "I'll keep the place in Cleveland, we can have somewhere on the east coast if you want but I like this place and I want to stay here for a while... without your parents."

"I hope you realize how much my parents have done for us."

Nick nodded, "I also know how much damage your parents have done to us. It's time to move on."

Tina grunted and stared down at her hands for a moment before reluctantly nodding, "Fine, you're right. I guess in a way I'll be happy to be away from them for once."

"I only have one more thing..." he said dramatically, taking a deep breath, "This might be the most important thing on my list too. I don't know that we can be together without this."

Her brow furrowed in concern and she put a hand on his bare knee, just under his shorts, encouraging him to go on. 

"We need to have sex at least twice a week."

Immediately her hand dropped and she raised an eyebrow at the shit eating grin plastered on his face, "Are you kidding me? You put that on your list?" 

"I need to know if you agree," he said, trying to stay serious though his acting skills were somewhat lacking. 

Tina laughed and leaned forward to hug him, feeling his hands slide over her ribs, "Good thing I want another baby, huh? Otherwise we might be having one anyway with your swimmers."

"Yeah they're good little soldiers," he smiled, resting his cheek against her hair, "So... what does this mean?"

Tina pulled back, looking into his eyes. There were lines on his face that she'd never seen before, a sign that he had aged physically. Back when she had first met him she thought they would never grow up, that they would stay young forever but it was clear that things had changed. Both she and Nick were more mature and ready to share their lives, "I guess it means we're giving us another try."

"I was hoping you'd say that," he said, kissing her cheek quickly. He dropped his arms and signaled that he would be right back before rushing into the condo. He was back in mere moments and sat back down in his seat, reaching out to push a stray hair out of her face, "This might be too soon given that we just sorted this all out but you forgot something in Florida that I want you to have."

Tina looked down curiously at Nick's closed palm, gasping when he opened it to see her engagement ring. She figured he would have pawned it off, not that he would have kept it so close to him. 

"How about for now I wear it on this hand?" she asked, holding out her right hand, "and maybe in a few months you can move it to the other?" 

Nick's smile could have lit up the whole beach and he slid the glittering diamond onto her right ring finger before pulling her back into a hug, a huge breath of relief leaving his mouth as soon as he realized that this was all real; he was finally getting her back, and getting his family back.