[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
I felt a little bad hanging up on Howie like I had but I was so busy preparing for the interview. It sounded like he wanted to ask me something very important. I made a mental note to myself as I followed Nick who was standing beside me. “Hey D are you going to dis me again tonight? Leigh is not here so you can let go,” Nick told me as he raised his brows. I knew I was smiling to cover my embarrassment, was there something more I did not know about Howie?

I pretended to be annoyed by his comment and went to find my bodyguard Jared. “He called me I think it’s important for me to get in contact with him,” I told Jared. I sighed as I thought about what exactly had gone through at my house today or well Sunday. My mom would not be there and my sister in law would be with the girls. I loved my sister in law but normally I would ignore her as much as I could or my like avoided her she reminded me to much of my wife.
I shook away my thoughts and tried to concentrate on what was in hand. I was sweating like crazy trying to remember as much of the information Jared had crammed into my head at the hotel. The common questions and the uncommon ones, I knew I couldn’t screw up. “You ok?” Brian startled me as he looked at me with concern.

I nodded to him because I knew I couldn’t speak at that moment without making a fool of myself. Then as I peaked to where we were to be interviewed, a wave vertigo hit me and had to hold myself on the wall. “Oh boy,” I stammered. In an instant Jared was by my side. “What’s wrong?” he asked me in a whisper.

“I don’t know,” I said glancing back to where we were supposed to be interviewed in exactly five minutes. “What’s wrong D?” I heard Kevin say with concern as he stood beside Jared. “I’m fine I’m just still a little ill from whatever I had earlier,” I lied.

“Backstreet boys are you ready?” we heard someone from the crew ask us. “He needs fresh air that’s all,” Jared told Kevin. I saw Kevin nod and with that Jared was practically dragging me the opposite direction.

Once I saw the sun hit me I felt my uneasiness begin to leave. “I’m sorry I don’t know what got to me?” I told Jared. He faced me with a stern look, “Marcos your Howie! Stop being Marcos he is not here…. Your Howie, Howie does not get nervous or stage fright.” He squeezed my shoulder and nodded at me, “You need to stop all this or they will find out and it will bring chaos,” he told me.

I nodded and took a few deeps breaths repeating in my head that I was no longer Marcos Flores but Howard Dorough a very famous person. “Your right I can do this, I’m Howie,” I said giving him a smile. “Let’s go,” I told him as I walked right back into the doors and down the hall we had just come from. I found Jen one of your tour managers waiting for me, “Are you ok or do you need me to send you back to the hotel? The guys can handle this Howie. I need you to be good for tomorrow night,” she gave me concern and almost motherly look.

I nodded and cleared my throat, “I’m fine Jen,” I went past her and quickly sat on the empty chair right by AJ before the camera began recording. I smiled confidently to AJ as he stared me concerned and suspiciously. “We need to talk,” he whispered to me. I knew that was not a good sign, I would have to be really prepared for that talk. I just nodded and again began to take deep breaths.

******

“I hope I pull the rehearsal,” I told Jared as we walked to our dance rehearsals. “Just follow the instructor, you can do this.” He told me reassuring me. “You did great on the interview; this should be a piece of cake.” I smiled as remember the events from the night before he was right. I pushed away any memories I had about my real life and embrace my current one. I had done so well that it even looked like AJ felt more at ease. I had no trouble answering the questions Jared had been right most of them were so common and the fact that all us answered randomly I would just keep my mouth shut when I wasn’t so sure of an answer.

“Your right I can do this,” I told him taking a deep breath as entered the room where we would rehearse our dance moves. I looked at Jared one more time and walked in with more confidence. I was living the life of a Rockstar this was suppose to be fun and my insecurities were stopping me.

I made myself a promise today I would embrace my persona of Howie Dorough completely and nothing was going to bother me. I was not going to let Marcos ruin my adventure, “Hey Nick?” I asked him as I took a seat next to him. “Sup D?” Nick said grinning at me.

“I’ve decided I will definitely be joining you later for whatever. I’m in,” I said with a big grin on my face. I was really going to let loose and be Howie. “That’s what I am talking about that’s my Howie,” Nick told me patting my shoulder hard.

I laughed as I saw the silly face Nick was making as he realized I was joining him. We were interrupted by our instructor and the rest of the guys. “Time to dance,” I told Nick as we both stood up.

******

“You’re my fire the one desire…” I sang trying to improve my voice. It was hard when I am used to only singing in the shower and at karaoke bars. But finally embracing who I was had helped my voice sound strong and I knew I could pull this off since really most of what I sang was background.

I heard the knock on my door and quickly went to open it. “Ready?” Jared asked me looked at me concerned. “Yes, let’s go…” I told him closing the door behind me following him to the car that would drop us off in the arena. “I need to call him,” I finally told him as we sat quietly in the van.

“Don’t worry while you’re up there I will call him…” Jared assured me. I had totally forgotten to call him the day before. I knew I should not worry at the moment with that when I had a concert to worry about so I just agreed with Jared and hoped that nothing was wrong with my family especially with my babies. I guess I still had something to worry about after all; I could never completely erase my life as Marcos when I had two beautiful girls that I loved.