July 24, 2010
Time: 4:30am
Location: my last time in my bedroom here in Madison.
Emotion: Embarrassed
I am so embarrassed right now with the whole Heather situation. What’s worse than that? Knowing that Alex is out there explaining it all to Heather, I heard everything… I am way beyond embarrassed with how Heather has acted. I mean I know she is like that but I had told her he was off limits.
I want to go out there but, I also don’t want to put Alex on the spot. I’ll just have to give Heather a little piece of my mind later. I hate to say this but tomorrow all I will be drinking is red bull.
Of course Alex would say nothing is going on between us. Why does Heather insist on finding out what hasn’t happened? I know I lied when I said I have not slept with him but I know she was talking about the present so technically it is true.
I can’t wait to leave, I love Heather and I guess in a way I have fault in the way she is. It’s a complicated story really I met Heather outside the mall; she was singing with her guitar just who ever passed by could give her some coins. I was feeling extra friendly and so I dropped her twenty. Wrong idea from then on she followed me through the mall till she befriended me.
She told me about her life and I felt sorry for her she has had a horrible life going from orphanage to orphanage till she was kicked out at age eighteen. I sort of offered her a meal and little by little she started to come by more often. I didn’t mind and soon I was able to find her a nice little job taking care of children for some of the students in school who were struggling with there kids. You’d be surprised how many single mothers’ go to school…
Heather has a good heart she does and she is very sweet, she is very liberal though. She is always involved with PETA and she is active in saving earth. She is a modern hippie that’s what I call her. I guess in a way I see why she seeks so much attention… I can’t help but to worry about her. She is young and now she won’t have me to come too. I hate to admit I’m going to miss her.
I should try to sleep at least an hour and hope that tomorrow I can get everything done. I have to face Heather who is a horrible person at keeping secrets and Alex at that… I sort of still haven’t told him about possibly renting with him. God can my life get anymore complicated?
Mattie.
*******
“Alex?” Mattie patted Alex’s shoulder as he slept leaning on the wall. She smiled when he woke up startled. “Ouch,” Mattie said bring her hand to her left cheek bone. She should have moved away, he had hit her hard on her face and now her cheek was in pain and burning slightly.
“Oh shit! Mattie I am so sorry…” Alex said going toward her. “Let me see,” Alex said making her look up he gently removed her hand from her left cheek holding his chuckle as he saw the red spot. “I am so sorry… It doesn’t look so bad,” he said as he touched it a little.
“Yeah well your not the one who will end up with a bruise,” Mattie said as she stepped away. “Let’s just get ready ok we have a lot to do. I will probably get you back later anyway.” She gave him a quick smile before she disappeared back into her room.
He smiled at her and began to chuckle as he grabbed his bag to get his tooth brush as he headed to the bathroom. “Why god?” he whispered as he walked into the restroom remembering the events earlier with Heather. “I was fine moving on and then you had to bring her right back…” he said looking up at the ceiling.
******
Mattie wiped the sweat from her forehead as she handed Alex another box. “How many more do we have left,” he asked as he saw his watch. His stomach announcing he was hungry.
Mattie sighed, “Just a few more,” she said looking at the stack of boxes that were now ready to be loaded onto the big truck.
“Yeah? I’m starving how about you?” he asked looking at her. She had no makeup on and her hair was a mess some of her bangs sticking to her face from the sweat. Yet she still look pretty, “How about we take a break it’s past two.”
Mattie bit her lip as the sound of food made her stomach announce it was hungry. “Yeah ok,” Mattie said as she turned toward her room screaming, “Heather, get over here we’re going to get something to eat!”
“Yay food!” Heather said coming out all happy showing no evidence of what had just happened earlier. “Vegetarian right?” she asked with a quizzical brow.
“No!” Mattie said her eyes widening. “I want meat lots and lots of meat…” she said laughing at the look Heather made.
“How about the Pizza place just down the street? They make a good veggie pizza for me…” Heather said.
“Anything sounds good to me,” Alex said.
“Ok pizza it is…” Mattie said as she tried to fix he tussled hair.
“I’m just going to go to the restroom real quick,” Alex said walking toward it.
“Ok I’ll go get my purse,” Mattie said only to be stopped by Alex.
“I’ll get it for you just go ahead and finish that one box you have there,” he said before he disappeared into the restroom.
******
He smiled as he walked into her room well it was now mostly empty but a few boxes. He spotted her purse beside one of the unfinished boxes he walked to it picking up her purse. He couldn’t help but peek into the box where something caught his eye.
He knew what it was… it was the only letter he ever sent to Mattie after she had left him. It was one and only attempt to win her back… he took it out and read it. But before he could read it he found the picture of him and Mattie at his prom and the one for her prom. He smiled as he saw them… he couldn’t help but wondered where in these pictures did it show that they would not be together forever. “Coming,” Alex said as he heard both Heather and Mattie calling him.
He put everything back in the envelope and grabbed her purse, “I just couldn’t find your purse,” he said handing it to her. “Let’s go.”
The walked a couple of blocks and were now at Little Italy… “It smells so good,” he said as he opened the door for both of them.
******
“Thanks,” Mattie told Alex as she poured him some more rum and coke.
“It’s no big deal,” Alex said as he leaned into the wall. “So are you going to miss this,” he asked as he looked around the empty apartment.
“Yeah in a way…” Mattie said as she got comfortable too. “Wow it so quiet without Heather around,” she said taking a drink from her glass.
“Yeah… she is something else.” Alex said laughing a little. “But I bet you will miss her the most.”
“Yeah I will… I’m so sorry about her behavior.” She bit her lip turning a little red. “I sort of heard everything last night…”
“Oh…” Alex suddenly began to cough.
“You ok?” Mattie asked laughing…
“Yeah sorry…” Alex said clearing his throat. “I just got surprised there and well I had to turn her down.”
“Yeah? Well I bet she is pissed at that… she had her eyes on you since she saw you.” Mattie said laughing at Alex who was turning red. “That’s just the way she is…maybe we should have told her you were gay… she wouldn’t have gotten near you.”
“Haha very funny,” Alex said as he watched Mattie laugh till she was lying on the floor in fits of laughter. “Ok that’s enough.” He said putting his drink down and poking her side only startling her making her throw her drink right at him.
Mattie began to laugh harder as Alex gasped as the cold rum and coke hit his shirt. “Oh my god…I’m so sorry.” She said between laughs.
“You got your payback,” Alex said as he quickly removed his shirt. Using it to wipe his chest and neck, “Great my back is already in the truck,” Alex said as he put his wet shirt aside.
“Want to borrow one of mine?” Mattie asked finally composed. She was just looking at Alex and the fact that he was now shirtless.
“Uh no… I’ll just go outside and get me a shirt.” Alex said as he stood up.
“Ok,” Mattie said as she tried to stand up only stumble she grabbed onto Alex for support.
“Easy there…” Alex said giggling as he helped her till she could stand. He looked at her she was definitely tipsy but she looked happy in some way… “Can I let go?” He asked as he looked at her hands one was on his chest while the other held to his arm, she was so close he could smell her hair.
“I think so,” Mattie said opening her eyes to meet his. “I think that is my cue to stop drinking.”
“Yeah,” Alex chuckled sighing as he looked at her hand that had a tight grip on his arm. He looked at it and then to her face but she still did not loosen her grip. “Mattie?”
“hmm,” she said as she looked at him sighing as she got more closer to him if it was possible.
“What are you doing?” He asked as he felt her lips on his cheek and then she gently brushed her lips to his. That’s all it took for him to use his other hand to wrap around her waist. He deepened the kiss as Mattie wrapped her arms around his neck pulling toward her bedroom.
********
Alex groaned as he heard the loud sound that could only come from an alarm. “Ugh,” he mumbled as he tried to find the source with his hands still not opening his eyes. That’s when he felt someone’s arm… he froze as he remembered what happened.
He opened his eyes slowly only to be faced by Mattie who had a smile on her face. “Hi,” he said clearing his throat.
“Hi,” Mattie said as she finally stopped the phone from going off. “Finally your awake.” She told him.
“Yep…” Alex said as he sat up looking around. “What time is it?” He asked when he really wanted to asked if last night had really happened.
“It’s nine on a Monday morning and we have to head out.” Mattie said as she pointed to his bag, “I brought it in for you… now get dressed so we can hit the road Jack.” She quickly stood up and walked out of the room leaving him there.
He was in loss of words, Mattie was definitely acting weird. He was naked under the blanket and he could remember clearly everything. He would find out later… he would to talk to her but for now he was right they needed to head out.
*******
July 26, 2010
Time: 11:00am
Location: the back seat of Brian’s ford…
Emotion: anxious-panicky
So I have been avoiding Alex as much as possible. I have to come out straight forward and say…. It finally happened we slept together. I blame myself for it… I was the one to kiss him first. I don’t know where it came from it would be nice to blame it on the alcohol but nope I was tipsy but very aware.
Maybe it was the moment and that fact that it made me yearn to be back in high school with him. It felt so right though and it scares me, he has tried to talk to me but unfortunately for him and fortunately for me… Heather tagged along.
Yep Heather is right now sitting in the passenger side with Alex as we head back to Florida. I got to love her for her spontaneous decisions… It is giving me enough time to think of what I am going to say to him.
I know he will want an explanation even though he didn’t do much to stop me from going further yesterday. He was much of a participant… well more like he took over. My god I can’t stop thinking about it… it was great.
Argh…. Maybe it is a bad idea to go rent from him. I’m glad I haven’t told him that. What am I going to do? Lord I can feel his stare from the mirror as he pretends to concentrate on the driving. I just hope to continue to stall our conversation… many things tell me to go ahead and go with my instinct.
What is my instinct right now? That I want to kiss him again and have him do so many thing to me… maybe it’s the familiarity we have since we do have a history. God I need to really think this through…
Got to go… we just stopped for gas and bathroom break. Later.
Mattie.
*********
“Hey Heather?” Alex said stopping her from climbing into the front.
“Yeah?”
“Do you mind if I sit in the front? Mattie is driving… for now.” Alex said giving her a smile.
“I can drive if you want?” Heather said with a smile.
“Well actually we are the only two allowed to drive… the owner only lent it to us.” Alex said making a pouting face to mimic the face on Heather.
“Fine,” Heather said climbing into the back seat.
“Hey why are you sitting in my place?” Mattie asked as she came back two red bulls in hand.
“Because your driving,” Alex said handing her the keys.
“What why?” Mattie said as she saw the look on Alex’s face he wanted answers and he looked a little hurt. “OK,” Mattie said taking the keys and handing him a red bull. “That’s for you.”
Chapter End Notes:
Ok... I hope to get some comments now... I hope you like it.
