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~Hailey’s POV~
I was flipping through the channels waiting for Brian to call me back. I had no idea why I was still waiting, he hasn’t called the whole time I’ve been gone. Why would he call now? Maybe he didn’t even miss me.
God I hope things are okay when I meet up with them tomorrow.
I stopped on E!, they had some special news report running. I turned up the T.V. when I saw Brian’s picture flash across the screen.
“And it looks like that Hailey Anderson was not stratified with just break up Brian Littrell’s marriage, but it looks like she is also after Justin Timberlake. Who is rumored to be an ex-boyfriend.” Ryan Seacrest said. “They were spotted dancing at Club Draco in Hollywood last night. They seemed close.”
I couldn’t believe this. Oh Fuck I was in trouble now.
“This picture was taken of the couple as they left the club.” Ryan said as they showed a picture of Justin and I kissing in front of the club. He had me pushed up against the wall of the club with his tongue down my throat.
Oh God, I felt so sick to my stomach. I had no idea what I was going to do. I couldn’t bring myself to think about what they’d do to Brian when he sees them.
“No one has made any comments on the pictures yet.” Ryan said. “But when we know you will know.”
I shut the T.V. off and waited for my phone to ring. I wonder who the first to call me would be. I knew it wasn’t going to be Brian, seeing as he was ignoring me.
I really want to know what I did to piss him off so bad. Its like things have been falling apart since we got back from Atlanta. That’s one of the reason’s I started to pull away from him to begin with, if he decided that I wasn’t what he wanted. I didn’t want to get my heart broken.
My phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at it and it was Terri.
“Hey.” I said answering the phone.
“Oh God, please tell me you didn’t.” She said.
“I can’t.” I said. “I really wish I could, but I can’t. Dose he know yet?”
“Not that I know of, but it’s only a matter of time.” She said. “It’s all over.”
“So I’ve seen.” I said.
“What the fuck happened?” She asked. “This isn’t something you’d do to Brian.”
“I know that.” I said. “Kyle made me go to a party and I was bored so I sat at the bar and started to drink, thinking he’d cut me off. Then he came up to me and one thing led to another. I never wanted this to happen.”
“You fired his ass right?” She asked.
“Yeah,” I said and sighed. “But the damage is already done. I can’t take it back now. It’s why I’ve been trying to get a hold of Brian all day. I wanted to tell him before he found out from someone else.”
“What are you going to do?” She asked.
“I’m flying out tonight. I should be there first thing in the morning, but by then I will be too late.” I said as the tears fell down my face.
“I’m sorry Babe.” She said.
“Me too, look I gotta run.” I said. “I need to finish packing.”
“Okay, call me if you need me.” She said.
“Not to mean or anything the only person I need right now is the only one who’s not talking to me.” I said and sighed.
“I know.” She said.
“Sorry, I gotta go.” I said and hung up on her.
I closed my eyes and leaned against the back of the couch. I didn’t even bother to try to stop the tears from falling down my face. Without even seeing or talking to Brian, I knew we were over.
There was no way he’d ever forgive me for this. Hell I wouldn’t even forgive myself for this. I really just can’t believe that I hurt him like this.
Someone knocking on my door brought me out of my thoughts. I pulled myself off the couch and went to answer the door. I didn’t even bother to wipe my face. I had no will to do anything. I pulled open the door to find Justin standing there. I almost shut the door in his face, but I needed some one to yell at.
“What do you want? Don’t you think you’ve fucked my life enough as it is?” I asked.
“Can I come in?” Justin asked.
“Whatever.” I said and moved out of the way so he could come in.
“Look, I’m really sorry.” He said. “I didn’t think you were very serious about Brian.”
“You’re joking right?” I asked. “I in love with him, and because you wouldn’t leave me alone, I’ve gone and fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
“Do you know how much I wish you’d say that about me?” He asked.
“You pushed me away.” I said. “At one point Justin, I was in love with you. But you deicide that I wasn’t what you wanted.”
“I wish things would have turned out so different.” He said. “I wish I knew then what I know now.”
“We can’t change the past, we can only move forward.” I said.
“If things don’t work out with you and Brian, don’t count me out.” He said. “I really want to make this up to you.”
“I can’t tell you yes or no.” I said and looked up at him. “You’ve hurt me a lot. Just give me time.”
“That is fair enough.” He said and touched my face lightly. “Can I kiss you?”
“You’ve never asked before.” I said and covered his hand with mine. “But we can’t do this.”
I pulled away from him.
“I understand.” He said and sighed.
“I’m sorry.” I said. “I have to hold on to the hope that I can fix things with Brian.”
“I know.” He said. “I’m sorry about everything.”
“I am too.” I said. “Thank you for coming to apologize to me. It means a lot.”
“You’re welcome.” He said. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“The same goes for you.” I said.
“I’ll see myself out.” He said and headed for the door.
After the door shut, I turned and went into the bathroom. I stripped my clothes off and got in the shower. As soon as I was under the water, I let the tears freely fall down my face.
And before I knew it, I had slid down the side of the tub and I was sobbing while the water poured down on me.
I had no idea how long I sat there. I couldn’t feel anything anymore, between the cold water and the pain.
I was so out of it, I didn’t even feel someone pulling me out of the tub.
“God Baby Doll, you’re freezing.” Dan said and set me on the bed. “How long have you been in there?”
“I have no idea.” I said as my teeth started to chatter.
“Questions later, we need to wrap her in a blanket.” Lance said. “She needs to get warm before her body goes farther into shock.”
They didn’t say anything as they wrapped me in the blanket.
I just sat there frozen, waiting for the feeling to come back to me. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen until Brian put my heart back together. And who knew if that was ever going to happen.
It was in that moment when I deicide that I wouldn’t be rejoining the boys on tour. It would be way to hard, and plus I know I wouldn’t be hanging around long after getting back. Brian would make sure of that.
“Pen and paper.” I said.
“What?” Dan asked.
“I need pen and paper.” I said and lowered the blanket off my shoulders.
“Hailey, babe, as much as we love you, I really don’t need to see you naked again.” Lance said.
“You’re gay.” I pointed out. “Look I needed to do this before I lose my nerve.”
“Fine.” Dan said and walked from the room.
“Do you want to get dressed?” Lance asked.
“No.” I said and shook my head as Dan walked back into the room caring a notebook and a pen.
“Here, are you sure you want to do this in a letter?” Dan asked handing them to me.
“Yes,” I said taking them from him. “It’s the only way.”
“We’ll leave alone.” Dan said. “I’ll get your ticket changed to a late flight to Kentucky.”
“Thank you for coming.” I said looking up at them. “It really means a lot to me.”
“Anything for you Love.” Dan said. “We’ll be in the living room if you need us.”
“Okay.” I said as they walked out shutting the door behind them.
After I was done writing the letter to Brian, I reread it a few times to make sure that it said all that I wanted it to say. I folded the letter and sat it aside.
I slid off the bed and got my clothes around. After I was dressed, I ran my fingers through my hair and went to find Dan and Lance. I found them sitting on the couch talking.
“Hey guys.” I said and sat on the couch next to Dan.
“You okay?” Lance asked and rubbed my leg.
“I will be. But Dan, I’m done.” I said not looking at him.
“What do you mean you’re done?” Dan asked.
“I don’t’ want to write anymore. The book is finished and it’s my last one.” I said. “I need to take care of myself.”
“I’ll stand by whatever you deicide.” Dan said. “I just want you happy. But if you ever feel the need to come back, you know I’ll be here for you.”
“Where are you going to go?” Lance asked.
“I need to go home for a while and then who knows.” I said.
“Do you want us to come with you?” Dan asked rubbing my back.
“No, I need to do this alone. I’ll call Terri in a few days.” I said. “I’ll have her bring me my things I left and then I’ll give her the letter.”
“We’re only a phone call away if you need us.” Dan said.
“I know that.” I said. “Thanks for being here for me. When does my flight leave?”
“You fly out at 11.” Dan said. “It’s 6 now, so you have time.”
“I need to go pack.” I said.
“We’ll be here.” Dan said as I stood up.
I smiled at them then went back into my room.
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It was weird being home again. Everything was as I left it when I left all those month ago.
The worse part was the loneliness that was still here.
All I’ve been doing since I got home a week ago, was sit in my bed and cry. I don’t think I’ve slept a full night since I woke up in Justin’s bed.
I’ve hardly eaten anything. The only time I force myself out of bed is when the hunger gets to me. Other then that I’ve stayed in bed since the moment I got home.
Forcing myself out of bed, I made my way to the shower. That was the first step in getting my life back. The next step would be calling Terri. I knew she was going to have a few choice words for me, but she couldn’t beat me down more then I already was.
After I was dressed and ready to face Terri, I made my way down stairs where I had left my cell phone. I picked it up off the table and turned it on. Then I set it back on the table, moving into the kitchen, hoping I could find something to eat.
The only thing that sounded remotely good was popcorn, so leaned against the counter waiting for it to pop and collected my thoughts. I never thought I’d ever have to do this, call Terri and have her bring me my things.
Hell I never thought I’d go more then a two hours without talking to Brian either, but here I am waiting for my pop corn to pop. I’ve never felt more alone then I did right now.
And the sad truth of it all was that I didn’t have anyone but myself to blame for it.
The dinging of the microwave brought me out of my thoughts. I opened the door and pulled the popcorn out. I opened the bag as I made my way into the living room, where my phone was waiting for me.
I set the popcorn on the table and picked up my phone. As much as I didn’t want to do this, I knew I had to. I dialed Terri’s number and waited for her to pick up.
“Oh my God.” Terri said answer her phone. “You’re okay right?”
“I’m fine, well as fine as I can be.” I said. “I need for you to bring my things that I left.”
“And let me guess no one can know?” She asked.
“I’m sorry, but it’s for the best. We both know that.” I said.
“Are you even going to ask how he is?” She asked.
“As bad as I am?” I asked.
“He’s not talking to anyone. Not even Nick.” She said. “He’s in bad shape. No matter what he says, he needs you.”
“I really don’t think that I’m what’s best for him.” I said. “Give it sometime and he’ll be okay.”
“How can you say that?” She asked.
“Because it’s the truth,” I said. “As much as I hate it, it’s the truth.”
“I really hope you know what you’re doing.” She said. “I’ll call you with the info when I have it.”
“Thank you.” I said.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said and hung up on me.
I sighed and closed my phone. I laid my head on the back of the couch, forgetting about the popcorn. I wasn’t very hungry anymore.
It was as bad as I thought it was going to be. But once he realized that this was all for the best, he’d be okay, well at least I hope he’d be okay. Though I was very worried about him, I didn’t want him to do this to himself. He needed to be strong for Baylee, if not for himself.
God I really hope I made the right decision, thought it’s a little late for that isn’t it?
I hope in the end all this pain wasn’t in vain.
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Chapter End Notes:
So this is the last chapter. i hope y'all enjoyed this story.
