The smell of bacon woke me up. I stretched and quickly got out of bed. I hurried downstairs to see who was cooking.

“You are my fire, my one desire.” My daughter sang loudly from the kitchen. I walked in and saw Nick flipping pancakes.

“What are you doing here?”

“Good morning to you, too. I need to pack up some stuff to take to the condo today.”

“Oh.”

“It should only take a couple of hours.” He set the plate of pancakes on the table.

“Fine…I’m going to take the kids out for the day. They don’t need to see you moving out.” I hastily left the kitchen. My head started to pound. I couldn’t take much more of this. Was my life ever going to be normal?

“Good morning mommy.” Jackson said, as he walked down the stairs. “Did you make pancakes?”

“Morning sweetie. Daddy made breakfast. You better go get some before Daddy eats them all.” I tousled his hair. He looked just like Nick.

Jackson slowly walked in to the kitchen. He saw his Dad and sister eating pancakes and laughing.

“Good morning buddy. Have some pancakes.”

“No thank you, dad. I think I will have cereal.” Jackson grabbed the step stool and opened the cupboard. He got out a box of Cheerios and the milk. Then he made his bowl of cereal.

“Jacksy…these pancakes are soooo yummy. You should have some.” Rachel took a big bite of her pancake.

“I don’t want anything to do with daddy.” He brushed his hand through his hair, mimicking what Nick did when he was mad.

Nick sat there not knowing what to do. His son was mad at him. He didn’t want to leave his children. He was going to miss seeing them everyday.

“Daddy may I be excused?” He nodded and wiped the syrup off her face. She jumped down and left the kitchen.

“Jacks, I’m sorry that you’re upset with me.”

“You’re leaving your family. You don’t love us. We don’t need you. Rachel and I have mom to take care of us.” Jackson ran out of the kitchen.

It was going to be a long day in the Carter house.

~ Later that day~

I sat on the park bench watching the kids play. I didn’t want to think about Nick packing his stuff and moving out. I was going to miss seeing him everyday. Maybe I would just pretend he was on tour. My ringing phone pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Hello!”

“Ashton, how are you?”

“I’m doing ok. How are you mom?”

“Fine. I was thinking about coming down to Florida to visit.”

“That would be great mom. When were you thinking of coming?” I loved my mom, but I was less than thrilled with her coming for a visit. I didn’t want her knowing that my marriage was in trouble. I was praying that Nick would come to his senses quickly, and we’d be a happy family before anyone found out.

“In June, after school is out.” Ann Richardson replied. Kevin had filled her in on the situation. She wanted to be there for her daughter. She knew Ashton was going to need support, even if she was too stubborn to let anyone help her.

“That works for me. The kids will be excited.” My phone beeped with another incoming call. “Mom, I have another call. Can I call you later this weekend to make definite plans?”

“Sure, Ashton. Talk to you later. Give the kids a hug for me.”

“Hello.”

“The house is yours. I just left with the last load of stuff.” Nick replied quietly.

“Thanks for letting me know.” I clicked my phone shut. Did he really think I wanted to go back to a lonely house?

“Mommy, I’m hungry. Can we go home?”

“Sure Rachel. Go get your brother.” She ran toward the monkey bars and pulled on her brother’s leg. He jumped down and they both ran to me.

The ride home was quiet. Rachel was half asleep from playing. Jackson stared out the window. He looked so sad, especially knowing that his dad wouldn’t be there when he got back.

I walked into the house. It seemed so huge and empty, even though everything was still there. I put my purse on the kitchen counter and saw a note from Nick.

Ashton,

I am sorry if I have hurt you in any way. It was not my intention. I care about you and don’t want to see you hurting. Though, at the moment I see no other choice, but to separate. I need some time to think about my life and what I want and need. Tell the kids I love them. I will call you at the beginning of the week to discuss spending time with the kids. If you or the kids need me, call my cell. I left the BMW and the Land Rover.

Nick

I crumbled up the note and threw it across the room. It was always about him and never about us. I didn’t need or want him at that moment. All I cared about was my kids. We would manage without him.