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One of my favorite "BSB" memories, Nick, we shared together. Well, almost all of them we did, but this one was really special. I'm sure you can guess it. You're probably already smiling, huh? Remember the first time we heard ourselves on the radio? In K-Mart? And that poor lady that was on the aisle there? Hey, did we ever pay them for that broken shelf? I can't remember. I don't think we did. Ah well. That poor K-Mart went through more crap because of us. And what was the name of that employee? The one that kicked us out? We made fun of him forever. Damn, I can't remember his name. You'll have to remind me one day.



"It was Bilbo," Nick said, laughing.

"You got kicked out of a K-Mart? By Bilbo?" Amanda giggled, “How? K-Mart should be renamed Ghetto Mart, I thought it was impossible to be too weird for them.”

“No, trust me,” Nick’s smile spread. “Okay, so we’re in K-Mart, me and Bri, right? I’m like 14, maybe? He was like 19. It’s in Florida. We just released our song We’ve Got it Going On. So we’re still kind of no-namers, yanno? We can go wherever and do whatever, no one has any freaking idea who we are –“

“You’re normal in other words,” she laughed.

“Well,” Nick laughed, “Relatively speaking, I guess. I don’t think any of us were ever really ‘normal’ by the normal, human standard.”

Amanda smirked, “That’s probably true. What I’ve seen of the guys they’re pretty crazy.” She rested her arm against the coffee table. “Well? C’mon, tell me about this memory. What happened? How did the shelf break?”

Nick’s grin was gigantic – it covered his entire face and made his eyes glow. “Okay, so we were looking for some stuff for Brian’s apartment. Like stupid boring stuff, you know, toilet bowl brushes and paper towel holders. His mom was coming to visit and they hadn’t really done much to the place so he didn’t want her freaking out. So we’re in the housegoods department and Brian’s looking at this set of curtain towel rings that were shaped like a monkey and we were making fun of it. There was this lady next to him trying to get a normal looking set, but getting annoyed because we were loud and stuff. Then I heard it… I mean the start of that song is really recognizable, you know? Have you heard that song?” Nick tilted his head at her.

Amanda tried to think back. The first Backstreet Boys single she really remembered was Quit Playing Games, she’d always thought that was their first single. “I- I don’t think so,” she admitted sheepishly.

Nick laughed, “It’s okay, you’re my girlfriend not my fan, I didn’t expect you to. Anyways, it starts up with Brian singing, Everybooody groove to the muuusic, everybooooody jaaaaaam…. Then it like breaks into the actual beat, and again it’s really recognizable. Anyways- So we’re on the toilet brush aisle and the lady and stuff, ok? So the song comes on. I hear it. Everybooooody groove to the muuuusic, right? And I’m like ‘BRIAN ITS US! ITS US!’ and JUMP on him, right?”

Amanda started laughing, picturing Nick being small enough to jump on Brian, without squashing him.

“And Brian falls into the shelf and tries to catch it to keep from falling down, and the whole shelf, I’m not kidding you, breaks. Like the whole length of the aisle. I dunno, it must’ve been loose to start because I mean even with Brian’s full strength on it I’m thinking it should’ve been able to handle it. But the whole length of the aisle the shelf comes down. Stuff is like everywhere and that lady’s just like gaping mouthed at us and the shelf and the stuff and she’s like ‘teenagers have no respect these days!’ all pissed… and Brian’s like ‘ma’m – this song on the radio? That’s us! That’s us! We’re the Backstreet Boys!’ and she’s looking at him like what the fuck, right? And Brian’s like ‘remember us okay? We’re gonna be famous some day!’ and I’m like ‘fuck yeah!’ and we’re jumping on each other in the middle of the avalanche of toilet bowl brushes and broken shelf parts and tooth brush holders and everything, just screaming and hugging and jumping…”

Amanda was literally in tears from laughing so hard.

Nick wiped his own eyes and gasped, “And then this K-Mart employee guy comes running around the corner – Bilbo – cos he heard the crash and he’s investigating, right? So he’s standing there by the end cap things, looking down the aisle at the broken shelf and merchandise and the pissed off lady and two lunatic teens jumping and screaming ‘there’s us, there’s us’ at the top of our lungs, pointing up at the stereo speaker over head…”

“Oh my God, the image this provokes in my mind is priceless,” Amanda gasped.

Nick started rummaging through the box again. “Where is it, it’s gotta be in here, I just know it…” He found it, and started laughing, I knew it. I knew it.” He looked at Amanda, his hands still hidden in the box, his tongue sticking out and resting on his lower lip as he grinned, “Okay, so Bilbo comes whipping over and grabs us both by the elbows and brings us up front and out the door onto the sidewalk,” Nick’s face crinkled, “And he’s like bitching about how they don’t let people act like that in the store, because it’s miscreant conduct and how he’s sorry but they’d appreciate it if we could take our business else where – and Brian kept trying to interrupt him, but he wouldn’t listen, so finally he goes back inside, asking us not to go back in,” Nick withdrew his hand from the box, “And Brian says to me… ‘what do you think I should do about this?’” Nick dropped the box of monkey-shaped shower curtain rings on the table.

Amanda doubled over, face to the carpet, “Oh my God, Brian’s a shoplifter!”

Nick cracked up and pointed at the little fading white price tag on the box, “No, because he counted out three dollars and ninety eight cents and put it in an envelope and mailed it to them with a letter the next day.”

“Brian would so do that,” Amanda laughed.

Nick was laughing so hard he thought he’d never stop again, imagining the look on Brian’s face when he held up the box of little plastic monkeys. “He freaked out the entire way back to the apartment over the fact that he’d shoplifted. ‘I’ve never committed a crime before,’ was all he kept saying. And then like this cop comes up behind us, his blue lights flashing, and Brian like tweaked, he like grabs the monkeys out of my hands as he’s pulling over to the side and he shoves them under his seat. And the cop whizzes by, of course, because he’s after whatever he’s after, and Brian’s like shaking, and he puts his head on the steering wheel and he’s like ‘Oh good Lord I’ll never steal anything ever, ever, ever, ever, ever again, I promise!’”

“Ohh, you guys are insane,” she laughed, “I can’t believe you could possibly have anything crazier than that behind you.”

Nick smirked, “Ah… Amanda… you have much to learn about me.”