By the time everybody had returned to the bus with their bags and such, Kevin and Detective Stabler had gotten off the phone and had accomplished finding a therapist for Elenore. It turns out that the wise Detective knew that all Kevin would need is time and would eventually come to him asking for help. He had been talking to a therapist for quite some time now and preparing him for that moment. The therapist knows all about Ellie. He told Kevin that he could make an appointment with him and go meet him on his own if he would like first before having him see Elenore, and form his own opinion. If he didn’t like him, well they would keep looking and Detective Stabler is more then willing to help. By the time everybody had returned to the bus, Elenore was already asleep. Jerald had laid her in Kevin’s bunk and covered her up and closed the curtains so nothing or no one would disturb her. Nick and Ashley managed to put their girls down with only a mild argument before hand and only because they’re still very upset. Sarah had insisted that she get a bed next to Dakota and refused to go to sleep if she didn’t. So Nick made sure she got what she wants and was happy to see her whisper in Dakota’s ear as he closed the curtain. At least the situation didn’t totally destroy their progress. Brian, AJ, Howie, and Kori put their children down for the night so it’s just the adults that are awake and they’re just sitting around and chilling. Or most of them are chilling, but Nick and Ashley still have some issues that they need to work out. As soon as they finished putting Dakota and Sarah down, she went to the back room with Bella and shut the door behind her. Nick sighed and looked around at everybody else feeling completely at loss, and of course found AJ staring at him.
“I’m trying really hard to stay out of this Nick, but you know how protective I am…and if this isn’t resolved by tomorrow I am intervening” he warned. “What is going on?”
“I am wondering the same thing myself,” Kori agreed. “She will hardly talk to me when I try and when she does she is very evasive and short with me.”
“I took her on the bus earlier to resolve our issues only to get into an even bigger fight then we were already in. Nasty things were said and it was just a big mess. We haven’t spoken to each other since then unless it was important stuff – like the kids. Other then that this is the most silent we’ve ever been with each other. Even when we were temporary broken up we weren’t this quiet. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried apologizing but she wants nothing to do with me. I don’t think she’s really mad at me anymore, I think she’s angry over other things and is taking it out on me.”
“Well since you’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the night, why don’t you go try to work it out? I don’t like seeing her so mopey,” AJ suggested. Nick nodded and he went through the bunkroom to the back room and he opened the door and went inside where he found his girlfriend sitting on the couch hugging her legs to her chest as she has her chin rested on her knee and she’s staring off into space. She didn’t even look up as Nick walked in. He went over and sat next to her then, sitting sideways so he is facing her.
“Are you going to hate me forever, or are we ever going to make up again?”
“I don’t hate you Nick…and I really don’t feel like fighting with you. You know I’ll always love you, but right now I just don’t like you.”
“Honey I apologized again and again. What else do you want me to do?”
“Do whatever you please, but just let me be,” Ashley answered indifferently and she turned her head and looked at Bella who she has on the other side of her sitting in her carseat. She reached out and gently rubbed her hand over her delicate little head that is full of brown hair. Ashley has a feeling she’s going to have long hair by the time she turns one years old. Nick stared at her for a few moments.
“I’m not quite sure what you are going through right now…whatever it is I’m sorry that you aren’t happy. But it’s not very fair for you to take it out on me when I only want to help.”
“I don’t mean to take it out on you Nick, I already told you what I want but you aren’t listening to me. If you want to help then just leave me alone!” Ashley pleaded, raising her voice slightly and she turned and looked at him, her eyes watering up with tears. Nick sighed heavily.
“Fine,” he replied moodily, and he got up and stormed out of the room closing the door behind him. When he got in the other room again the boys looked at him curiously. He wasn’t gone long enough to work things out.
“What’s going on Nick?” Howie asked.
“She’s being unreasonable. I don’t know what the hell her problem is, but I give up. I’m starting to think it’s that time of the month because that’s the only time she pushes me away like this.”
“I think you just need to give her, her space Nick. Let her come to you, you know she can’t stay away from you for too long,” Kevin replied gently. “She’s obviously stressing out over something and you of all people know that when she gets this way you just have to let her make the decision to come to you.” Nick grumbled and he went over and sat down on the couch.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile in Florida, at Sean and Trevor’s Lake House, Sean was sitting in his office when he got a phone call from Max. Trevor thought nothing of it and left him to his conversation as he went into the kitchen to make something. Not really knowing what it is he’s going to make…he just feels like making something. He stood in the kitchen minding his own business until suddenly he heard Sean’s angry voice in the other room.
“WHAT?!” he roared. “THE CREEP DID WHAT TO ELLIE?!”
“Oh shit…” Trevor groaned, and he dropped the spoon in his hand before running out of the kitchen and crossing the living room to the office and he made it in there just on time to see Sean throw his phone against the wall. They both flinched as it shattered into pieces.
“Baby what is it? What’s going on?” Trevor demanded frantically, and he rushed over to his lover and gently pulled him near before he could go into a complete tantrum. If he lets that happen, who knows what him and his impulsive self will do.
“I’ve got a Backstreet Boys Manager to kill, Trev! Pack your things because we’re going to New York!”
“What? No Sean, slow down a minute here. Just slow down…tell me what happened,” Trevor replied and he gently pushed Sean over to a chair before sitting him down and he grabbed another chair before pulling it in front of him and sitting down also. He took a seething Sean’s hands into his own and looked into his blazing eyes. He looks almost like a hungry dragon ready to attack.
“This fucking Backstreet Boys manager…Lou, tried to molest my little girl and her friends!” Sean shouted. “But she fought him off and the Backstreet Boy beat him up and Lou is in prison now! I’ll kill him, Trev! I’ll fucking tear him to shreds!”
“We’re not going to New York Sean, that’s stupid and suicidal. Especially if he is in prison. We’re staying right here and I am not going on another killing spree with you.”
“Fine! Don’t! But I will,” Sean replied, and he started to get up, only to be shoved back down.
“No you won’t.”
“To hell I won’t. You do NOT want to mess with me right now, Trev!”
“Or what? Are you going to kill me too Sean?” Trevor asked, rolling his eyes and Sean scowled.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not being ridiculous, you are. If you calm down long enough I just might tell you my plan,” Trevor explained, and Sean suddenly paused.
“You have a plan?”
“Of course I do. I’m full of plans and you’d hear them sometimes if you’d shut up and let me tell them to you.”
“But you don’t like—“
“—You may have given Ellie up baby, and you sure as hell are not a good dad, but there is no doubt that deep down inside, a small part of you truly cares about her well being. You will do anything for her. So there is no way I will be able to keep you here unless I offer you something that will help you feel better. No I don’t like all of this violence anymore, but I don’t like you stressing either and I can see that you really are. So yes, I will help you take care of this.” Sean raised his eyebrow.
“I’m listening…”
“It just so happens that your brilliant ex-con lover knows someone who is currently in the prison in New York. A very dangerous someone that I made friends with. It was either be his friend, or be his bitch and I belong to only one, so I chose the first option. Anyway, he was transferred to the prison in New York. If I got Max to contact him he could have him murder Lou Pearlman and neither of us will have to leave the house.” Sean narrowed his eyes, and now that Trevor had successfully calmed him down, he was able to think things through.
“And…how is Max supposed to contact this guy in prison?”
“The police don’t know him. His face isn’t all over the place…so he could go in posing as the man’s…brother…or something, who wants to visit him.”
“And you are sure this will work?”
“I’m positive.”
“But, if this…friend of yours does this favor for us…he’s going to get into even more trouble then he is already in. How do we know this isn’t going to bite us in the ass?”
“This guy is so good at killing people, and so dangerous that he could make murder look like suicide.” Sean sat there quietly for a few moments, and then nodded, as he just wants the man who tried to harm his little girl punished severely.
“You’re going to have to make the call. Some temperamental jackass broke my phone.” Trevor laughed and he cupped Sean’s face in his hand before gently pulling him forward and resting his forehead against his.
“See what impulsive actions do? Maybe you’ll learn something from this.”
“Hey. If I wasn’t impulsive, I would never have had you.” Trevor raised his eyebrow.
“What makes you say that?”
“If I wasn’t driven to go off and get myself some drugs…if I wasn’t driven to piss those dealers off…I would never have been shot and you would never have confessed your love to me. After that day, I became a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.”
“Babe, you could’ve saved all of that scary shit and I still would’ve eventually confessed my love to you.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“I’m positive.”
“Why did it take you so long then? Why right when you thought I was dying?”
“You were with Shelly for one…doofus.” Sean shrugged.
“I still believe my impulsive actions come in handy sometimes. How about my sudden crazy idea to break you out of prison? Huh? If I wasn’t impulsive, you would still be stuck there.” Trevor rolled his eyes playfully.
“While I am thankful that you broke me out of jail, and that we’re finally together…I would still like you to break your bad habit. Cause while it brings us good luck every once in awhile…it also brings us bad luck and we can’t afford that. We have to find some way to buy you a new phone now without using your credit card or identification.”
“I’ll just use yours. Or Make you make all the calls.” Trevor shook his head.
“What if we ever get separated and you need a phone, but I have mine with me? No. We have to find you a cell phone.”
“We could murder someone and steal theirs?” Sean suggested and Trevor sighed.
“You aren’t killing anymore people. Would you like me to tattoo that to your forehead?”
“You can do tattoos?”
“Smart ass.”
“Seriously, you should learn. You could be my personal doctor, and tattoo artist.”
“I love how you just use me.”
“Aw, you know you like it baby” Sean insisted.
“I think we should find you your own personal hobby that isn’t killing people and then I will just use you. Endlessly.”
“Hmm…I can name one thing I’m good at,” Sean replied, wrapping his arms around Trevor and drawing him closer. “You are my favorite hobby.” Trevor cupped Sean’s face in his hands again, and he captured his lips with his for a hard kiss.
~*~*~*~*~
“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! NO! NO! I’LL BE A GOOD GIRL, I’LL BE A GOOD GIRL!” a familiar voice, but one that hasn’t been heard in a long time except by one little girl, shrieked in the bunkroom on the tour bus. “NO! PLEASE NO! I DIDN’T MEAN TO!” Nick jumped up and ran toward the bunkroom. When he got in there, he pulled open the curtain and saw Sarah lying in bed sobbing and Dakota sitting up in her spot staring at her with wide eyes, not sure of just what to do. Nick sat down on the bed and gently gathered the six-year-old into his arms and he hugged her close while gently rocking her just as Ashley came through the other door with panic on her face.
“I’m here baby…I’m here,” Nick soothed gently. “You’re safe…you are completely safe,” he promised, whispering softly in her ear. Sarah snuggled into Nick weakly, as she sobbed and Ashley sat down on the bed in front of Nick and gently combed her fingers through Sarah’s fiery red hair. Nick kissed her forehead and began to sing softly to her.
I guess you were lost when I met you
Still there were tears in your eyes
So out of trust and I knew
No more then mysteries and lies
There you were wild and free
Reaching out like you needed me
A helping hand to make it right
I am holding you all through the night…
By the time he finished singing the song Sarah had fallen back to sleep. He sat there holding her for a long while, just gazing down at her with so much sadness in his eyes. After a long while, he bent down and kissed her forehead before lying her back down and covering her up and he reached over and helped Dakota lie down too.
“Is Sarah gonna be okay daddy?” Dakota asked softly, her eyes full of worry.
“Yeah baby, she’ll be fine. Go back to sleep okay?” he told her gently and he leaned over and kissed her before covering her up too.
“Kay,” Dakota replied, and she looked at Ashley. Ashley leaned over and kissed her goodnight and Dakota closed her eyes. Nick and Ashley got up then and he closed the curtain and headed for the other room when he suddenly felt a hand slide into his own. He turned and looked at her indifferently, not quite sure how to react, or how she is going to act toward him. When he saw the tears in her eyes though, his indifference turned to concern.
“Will you be the one to hold me and make sure everything is all right?” she asked softly, her voice breaking as she tried desperately not to cry. Nick turned around to face her then, and he slid his arms around her waist and drew her near, before planting a light kiss on her forehead.
“All you had to do was ask,” he insisted, and he bent his head down and kissed her neck softly, before burying his face in it as she slid her one arm around him in return. He lifted her up then so her feet were just inches off the ground and he carried her into the back room where he assumes she left Bella all alone in her worry about Sarah. AJ and Brian who had been standing in the doorway to the bunkroom watching Nick calm Sarah down, looked at each other and smiled some and AJ shut the bunkroom door just a crack as they headed back to the rest of the group.
“Sarah okay?” Kevin asked and Brian nodded.
“She’s sleeping again.”
“Where is Nick?”
“In the back room holding Ashley and making sure everything will be all right,” AJ answered, quoting his sister’s words. Kevin raised his eyebrow.
“You spend too much time being a Backstreet Boy, Aje. You need a break.” Brian chuckled.
“He’s just quoting what Ashley had said,” he explained. “Nick sang The One to help Sarah calm down and go back to sleep, and then afterwards he started to come back out here when she took his hand and asked him if he would hold her and make sure everything would be all right.” Kevin chuckled.
“Well, I told you all she would come to him in her own time if you just left her alone.”
“I know, I know” AJ replied while rolling his eyes playfully. “The great and wonderful Kevin knows all,” he added, and he went over and slid his arms around Kevin and gave him a bear hug from behind the couch.
“No, not all. Sometimes Kevin gets blindsided and makes mistakes and AJ McLean is right there to set him straight. Even when Kevin is too stubborn to believe him.”
“Yeah…you are right,” AJ smirked, and Kevin rolled his eyes. “But he has a very good way of making up for it. Kevin Richardson can kick some major ass...who knew?” Howie shook his head grinning as he watched his two bandmates get along for the first time in forever.
“Where is the video camera when we need it?”
“Hopefully hidden very well. No cameras, please” Kevin insisted.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile in the back room, when Nick got back there sure enough there was Bella still sitting in her carseat which had been placed on the floor and she appears to have not even noticed that she was alone. She is just sitting there chilling and looking around the room with her wide and curious brown eyes. He brought Ashley over to the couch and he sat down before shifting himself so he is lying sideways with her next to him. She placed her cast on his chest as if it were a pillow and rested her head against his shoulder and he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as he gazed into her watery eyes.
“Are you going to tell me why I wasn’t liked earlier?”
“I didn’t mean to take it out on you Nicky…I’m sorry,” Ashley replied softly. “I just wanted to be alone and I’ve been trying to tell you that ever since I locked myself in the bathroom and you just weren’t understanding.”
“What’s gotten my baby so upset?” Nick asked gently, as he wiped away a falling tear with his finger.
“Everything…” she answered while sniffling a little, and he rested his forehead against hers and said nothing, waiting on her to elaborate. “Sean shot me in the arm and I am getting really sick of wearing this cast…it sucks, and I just want to be free of it. I can’t go anywhere alone without worrying about someone shooting me in the other arm, or grabbing me and taking off. And as much as I love Marcus and the rest of security, I have to have my space you know?” she explained, as her tears ran freely down her cheeks. “Everywhere I turn they’re there. I can’t even go to the bathroom alone without someone freaking out on me,” she added. “I’m sorry that I worried everybody, but when a girl’s gotta go…she’s gotta go and the last thing I want is people watching me while I pee. Then there’s Lou, who has done nothing but harass me from the very beginning. The sexual comments, the PhotoShopped picture, and the fans turning against me and accusing me of cheating on you…and it wouldn’t have bothered me so much, if that wasn’t the second time I was accused for it. Then tonight when he stood in front of me outside the girls bathroom and wouldn’t let me past he said a lot of hurtful things then, like reminding me of my mom…and threatening to destroy you if I told anyone about it…him touching me. I defended myself, but it still made me upset and uncomfortable. I was afraid that if Pete hadn’t walked in and rescued me I wouldn’t have been able to defend myself for very long…because he is much bigger, and much stronger then me. I was afraid I was going to be raped again…right there and then, Nick. Then Pete took me backstage and the moment I walked back there you and AJ both attacked me for disappearing. It was too much for me to take…and so I just shut down, and became uncooperative, and the emotional wreck that I was tonight. It all came crashing down on me so hard, everything I went through over the past week…and so I reacted the only way I knew how at the time.” Nick again wiped away her tears with his finger, before sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her near and he kissed her nose delicately.
“I love you so much baby girl…and I’m so sorry that you’re going through so much. I’m so sorry. You know if I had the power to erase it all, I would do it in a heartbeat,” he explained as he swept her hair out of her eyes so he could see them better. “You are right, it’s a lot for one seventeen year old to take…I don’t blame you for acting the way you did at all.” Ashley rested her head against his chest then and snuggled close to him, loving the fact that he is there, holding her close. It almost makes everything bad go away…almost.
“You want to know what the worst of it all was Nick?” She asked softly.
“What?” he questioned and Ashley looked up at him again, looking into his concerned blue eyes.
“The only thing I wanted was my mommy to hold me and make it all go away…and I couldn’t have that.”
