After my shower, I walked back toward my room to start and get ready. I noticed two of the girls, Lacey and Kelsey sitting in a corner. They were alternating between hurried whispers and glances back at me. Something wasn’t right and I wasn’t thinking about their nose jobs either. But Lacey’s really wasn’t that great.

The cast had a chance to briefly get to know each other while we were waiting on the bleachers, but after the elimination, we were suppose to have a mixer with everyone and Nick.

Lacey reminded me of Lindsay Lohan or Kate Moss. She was looked like a cracked-out, emaciated, out of work model…no offense.

I always feel the need to add that when I’m thinking or saying something rude. It’s weird how adding that phrase seems to make it something completely inappropriate, okay.

Anyway, Lacey didn’t have a job. She is also proud of this. I’m not sure how I feel about her, she is just one of those people that is too sugary sweet to be real. Kelsey on the other hand was just a plain bitch and she didn’t tried to hide it.  She always had to be the center of attention. She already drove me nuts.

As I walked back into my room I saw Candy sitting in front of the mirror.

“Oh my goshhhhh, I am just so nervous! Aren’t you Emmy!? Do you think I’m pretty enough? Do you think he liked me? I’m so upset I lost the challenge! That Amy was just so mean!”

Where did she hold all the oxygen to say all that in one breath? Oh yeah, probably her boobs.

“Candy, I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” I said as I tried to reassure her.

Megan was running around frantically waving a checklist around again. Aspen was MIA.

As I looked through my dresses, I felt knots start to form in my stomach. It must be finally setting in that I’m going to have to explain to people why I’m on this dumb show. It can’t be because I actually care about it. Nope.

I settled on a short silk Lilly Pulitzer sheath that was in a tropical print. I loved everything Lilly Pulizter made.  Bright and classic, which was exactly like me.

After forty-five minutes, the intercom came on.

“Ladies, please make your way down to the elimination room. Elimination will begin in fifteen minutes. Thank you.”

That sounded like TV Carson, so it was definitely going to be aired.

Everyone was so nervous, you would have thought we were backstage at a beauty pageant. My mother loved to force me to compete when I was in junior high. Thank goodness I stopped growing and was deemed “too short” soon after. But my mother is another story like appropriate for Lifetime or an episode of Oprah.

We walked to the room and I immediately wanted to throw up. This was beyond stupid. The room was entirely silver with black risers against one side of the room, we each had a designated spot complete with large glitter pink lips bedazzled with our names. Our names light up. Awesome.

The other side of the room was the best, or worst part, depending on who you asked. The whole wall was no longer there and instead replaced with a replica of the whole side of the plane from the “I Want It That Way” video shoot. I know this because Andy prepped me heavily before I left. There were stairs leading up into the plane, that I could only imagine lead to the outside world.

I wishfully sighed.

To the side the plane was a small stage complete with a single spotlight and a velvet rope going all the way around it. Two large men dressed like the Secret Service were standing on either side of the stage. Hmm, I didn’t realize a Backstreet Boy was suddenly on the same level as the president. It’s not 1999 anymore.

The girls were all filling in and walking to their designated spot as Carson stormed in.

He started yelling to some crew people or probably just everyone, “So I’m going to have to prep them? I’m a host, not a life coach. I don’t get paid enough to do this!”

“You’re lucky you’re getting paid at all, “ I mumbled to no one. I heard Aspen laugh behind me.

I guess she didn’t escape like I thought.

Carson started talking to us about being okay to let our emotions out during filming. Blah blah blah. I stopped listening after that.

Then Nick walked in. Boy could wear a suit. Damn.

Then TV Carson came on. I stood up straighter and uncrossed my arms. Thanks for letting me know we were filming Carson.

“Ladies, this is the unfortunate part of the show. Sadly, one of you will have to leave tonight and we will be down to ten. If Nick calls your name, please come down to the stage and accept your platinum CD then take your place back on the stands.”

He smiled and stepped further to the side as Nick stepped in to the spotlight. Why did I suddenly felt like a thirteen year old? Or I guess, my brother.

“It really has been wonderful meeting and getting to know all of you. I truly see beauty in all of you but I can only pick one girl to show the shape of my heart.”

I’d like to see the shape of something else all right.

As he started to name off some of the girls I noticed Lacey fidgeting and looking around nervously. Obviously, we were all nervous, but she looked extra nervous. I gently nudged Candy who was standing next to me and pointed at Lacey.

“I’m really fascinated by this girl. She’s definitely not what I’m used to dating. Aspen, please come accept your CD,” Nick announced.

Just as Aspen started walking toward Nick, I saw Lacey fumble around with her dress. I nudged Candy again and just I did that I saw a gleam of silver shine in the light.

Seconds later, Lacey was running full speed toward the stage.

Out of nowhere, Candy came barreling around from the opposite side of the room and tackled Lacey. I felt like I was at a football game.

“Holy Shit!” I yelled. This was the most excitement I’ve seen all week.

Dang it, my mother was going to be beyond pissed that I’m caught cussing on screen.

For a couple of seconds no one said a word. Then security stormed the place, Nick and Carson just stood in shock, Aspen was an inch away laughing and Candy was screaming.

“You have a knife! You were going to hurt my blonde god! You are an evil person!” Candy continued to scream as security pulled the two apart.

“I was not you dumbass! Aspen slept with my husband! She was getting payback!” As Lacey screamed, we all stood in shock and then directed our eyes as Aspen.

She just smirked.

We were instructed to wait as the producers discussed whatever it was that just happened. Soon Candy came back to her spot and looked relieved.

“I just saw that knife and immediately thought the worst,” she admitted. This girl was awesome. I wanted her on my flag football team…oh wait, there’s no tackling.

“Well, Lacey obviously disqualified herself from the show, so there will be no other elimination. Nick, would you like to continue to pass out the CD’s?” Carson explained. I actually couldn’t tell if it was TV Carson or Real Carson speaking.

Nick continued to call girls up, including Candy, which he thanked for trying to save his life. So much for those Secret Service guys.

“Emily, there’s a lot that I want to get to know about you. Would you please accept your CD?” He smiled that cute little smile that made my feet turn to concert.

Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Until I was standing it front of him.

“If I said no, I’m sure I would be the next one with a concussion,” I said as I smiled at him.

He laughed, and hugged me. My whole insides melted. Not a big deal.

As I walked by to my spot, I looked at my shoes and was instantly reminded why and how I was here.

I had a feeling that thirteen year-old me was about to fight twenty-nine year old me every step of the way.