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I blinked as I walked in to the smoky bar, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. It’s been over a year since I’ve been here, and not much has changed. Booths lined one wall, there were a few tables thrown in the middle of the floor, and the bar ran along the entire length of another wall. The wall was mirrored behind the bar, cluttered with numerous bottles. There was a small dance floor in the corner of the room, and there was a group of girls dancing with each other. It was Friday night, and it was pretty busy. I felt a small rush looking at the crowd. This place had been a home away from home for a while, I had spent a lot of my time here.

And now I was back. I desperately wanted a drink. I wanted to feel the burn start in the back of my throat and travel down to my stomach. I wanted to let go of everything. I was hurting, and I needed to numb the pain. I had been in tears the past few days and couldn’t seem to shake it. I even had to take a couple more days off of work. I tried to block out the thoughts as I made my way to the bar. I stood there for a moment before a bartender got to me.

“What can I get for ya? Wait, Harley? Is that you?” the woman asked, and I was surprised when I looked up at her.

“Summer? Hi! You’re bartending now?” I knew Summer from when I was coming to the bar before. She had been my favorite waitress back then. We’d even hung out a few times.

“Yes! Have been for a while now. How are you doing? I’ve haven’t seen you forever! It was like you just quit coming out!” She replied, wiping at the bar with a towel. “Where’s Gage? How’s he doing?”

“Gage is good. He’s doing really well. Business is really going great for him.” I replied.

“Who’s Gage?” someone behind me asked. I turned around and saw the man from AA. He was wearing a hat again, this time he had his sunglasses on. He was holding an empty glass and sat it down on the bar. “Double Jack and Coke, please.” He said, sitting down next to me. He looked over at me and took his sunglasses off, placing them on the brim of his hat. He grinned. “How’s it going? Harley, right? Funny, running into you at a bar, after meeting you at AA.”

“Make that two please, Summer. Two cherries in mine.” I turned back to look at the man. He was wearing a leather jacket over a tank top, and baggy jeans. “I’m sorry, I forgot your name….”

“AJ.” He said, focused on Summer.

“So, AJ,” I said, watching her as well. She sat down our drinks on napkins in front of us. He took his and threw it back, finishing it quickly. He pulled a credit card out of his wallet and set it on the bar.

“Can I start a tab? Put hers on it, too. And can I get another one, please?” He asked Summer, and she took his card and started making his drink.

“You didn’t need to do that.” I said.

“I didn’t think I did.” AJ drew out a cigarette and lit up. I followed suit. I swirled my straw around in my drink, wondering if I was really going to go through with this. Almost a year sober. Did I really want to throw it away? “If you have to think about it,” AJ said, taking a drag off his cigarette, “maybe you shouldn’t do it.” He reached over and removed the straw out of my drink, and pulled the drink towards him. I watched him put the glass to his lips and drain my drink. “Here, have your cherries back.” And he pushed the glass back towards me. I sat there, a little unsure of what to do next. I stood up and reached for an ashtray, and put it between us. I flicked my ashes into it.

“So,” I started again, watching Summer set down AJ’s next drink, “what brings you out tonight?”

“Needed to get out of the house. Just moved in a month ago, and am already tired of the damned thing. It’s confining. I feel like I’m in jail. I can’t get away from everyone and everything fast enough.” he looked at me. “You never answered me. Who is Gage?”

I sat there for a moment, wondering who the hell this guy was and why he was so curious about me and my business. He seemed like he was feeling his alcohol. I envied him.

“Hey, Summer! Can I get another drink?” I called to her, pulling out a twenty dollar bill and setting it on the bar. Fuck it, I thought. One drink won’t hurt me.

Deep down I knew better. I knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t do it. But I was desperate. And here I was with a guy who looked like he was having a good time and was feeling good. Damn it, I wanted that.

“Gage is a friend. I used to come to this bar with him all the time, before I got sober.” I said as the bartender set down my drink and took my money. I smiled at her as she made my change. I gave her a couple of dollars and put the rest back in my pocket. “He would kill me if he knew what I was doing.” And that wasn’t a joke. I was going to be in for it when Gage found out.

AJ laughed. “Why does he have to know?” Once again he downed his drink, his third just since he sat down next to me. I was a little concerned about him.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked.

“I’m good. I drink more than this all the time. ” He said, putting his cigarette out. “Harley, Harley, Harley. I gotta ask. What’s up with your name? That’s a cool name. I like it.” he turned his body towards me.

I laughed. “Well, my parents gave it to me.” I plucked one of the cherries out of my drink and ate it. I savored the sweetness of the Jack Daniels dancing on my tongue. Man, I missed drinking.

“Ha ha, very funny.” He elbowed me, and I smiled at him.

“What about you, AJ? Tell me something about yourself. You said you just moved here. Where are you from?” I asked, pushing my hair back off my shoulders.

He sighed, lighting up another cigarette. “I came from Florida. I needed to get away from my life. Needed a break. Needed to meet new people. And here I am, doing the same thing, just with different people.” He looked at me thoughtfully. “Maybe I am in worse shape than I thought.” He blew out some smoke.

“What was so bad with your life that you needed to leave?” I asked, curious.

“I was becoming someone I didn’t recognize. But hey – let’s not talk about all that bullshit. I want to have a good time!” He finished his drink and slammed the empty glass back down on the bar. “Oops, didn’t mean to do that.”

I fished the other cherry out of my drink and sucked on it, once again appreciating the alcohol. I wanted very much to just toss back my drink as well. I watched AJ signal for the bartender again, and wondered again who this man was. Florida? Seemed he was running from something. And I didn’t know that he would find it here. I took another cigarette out of my pocket and AJ reached for his lighter and tried to light it for me, but was having trouble staying stable enough. I finally took his lighter from him and did it myself. He laughed.

“My bad” he said, putting his lighter back in his pocket. He made a face and pulled his phone out of his other pocket. He did something, I assumed replied to someone, and put it back. “Screw that shit! I am busy!” and Summer set another drink in front of him. He knocked it back just as quickly as the others. “I’m not listening to that right now. I’m here having a good time with my new friend Harley. You gonna drink that?” he pointed to my drink.

I didn’t know that I was. I kept wavering back and forth on whether or not I wanted to. As AJ watched, I took a sip and almost moaned. The burn felt so good and it tasted like heaven. I licked my lips and watched AJ eyebrows raise.

“Damn. I think yours must be better than mine. Must be those cherries.” He leaned in close to me, those brown eyes piercing mine. “Why don’t you finish it?”