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Chapter 24

BJ had come to apologize. She sat in the living room looking pathetic. Her face was blotchy, her eyes wide with tears and she looked like she hadn’t showered in days. She looked as miserable as I felt.

“BJ…”

“Ally, how are you?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer her. I wanted to tell her the truth, that since she sprung Jen on me, I was miserable. But she looked so horrible that I couldn’t make it worse. “Fine.”

Nick squeezed the back of my neck and led me further into the room. “BJ has something she wants to say to you Ally.”

I looked over at BJ and she nodded, “I do. I have a lot to say to you. And I know you shouldn’t want to talk to me, but please, just hear me out.”

It was the least I could do.

“So talk…”

She looked nervous. She knew she had two strikes against her when it came to me. One more and she’d be out.

Nick went to leave but I held his arm, “can you stay?” He looked between us but then nodded, and made himself comfortable.

“I’m sorry for putting you in that position Ally. I had no right. Jen had called me and asked if she could meet you. I went through the channels and when I told her that you thought it’d be best if you didn’t, she got so upset. She begged and pleaded and I gave into her. I’m sorry…”

No amount of apologies were going to make it better.

“She said that you didn’t really know what you wanted, because you’re just a kid-”

“She’s not just a kid,” Nick snapped. “She’s got a great head on her shoulders and maybe you’d know that if you weren’t screwing up all the time!”

His outburst shocked me.

“I know Nick. I’m sorry.”

“You always say that BJ yet you keep fucking up. You have no idea how many problems you actually cause for us. One more and you’re gone for good.”

BJ looked like she wanted to run from the room. Which she usually did when things weren’t going according to her plan. I guess she had that in common with Jen.

“Stop,” I sighed, “arguing isn’t going to fix anything.” I gave BJ a pointed look, “or apologizing. What’s done is done.”

“I know, but I screwed up.”

“I know,” I sighed, “but I can forgive you.”

They both looked surprised.

“I don’t want to be mad, sad, or helpless anymore,” I looked at Nick. “You said that once we move on from the sadness we’re stronger. Well I want to be stronger now, and forgiving BJ is the first step.” I turned to my aunt, “I’m still hurt that you betrayed me. I know that you grew up with a mother and even though, from what I hear that Grandma wasn’t very supportive for a couple of years, I think she’s redeemed herself. But you had no right to throw Jen in my face when after I decided that I was better off without her. You told me that I didn’t know what I was thinking but you didn’t know what you were thinking. She just wanted to tell me why she didn’t and still doesn’t want me.”

BJ looked horrified, “Ally I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. She said she wanted to get to know you again, that she wanted a second chance. I had no idea that she just wanted closure for herself. I swear, if I had known, I would’ve kept out of it!”

I shrugged, “I believe you.” And I did. I’d only met Jen twice, but I knew her enough to know that she was manipulative. “But you’re going to have earn my trust again, and it’s not an easy task to do.” I looked at her, “but I forgive you BJ. I promise.” I glanced at Nick and he was beaming. He looked so proud. “It’s time to move on,” I said and stood up. I didn’t know what else to say. “I have homework, so I’ll be in my room.”




I don’t know how long I was up in my room for when Nick came knocking on my door. I knew BJ was still here; I had been keeping a watchful eye on our drive way, looking to see if she left. But he brought me popcorn and a cup of hot chocolate.

My love for popcorn started at an early age. Every Friday night during the school year was movie night for Nick and me. He always let me pick the movie, and I almost always chose Peter Pan. But he sat a giant bowl of popcorn between us and by the time the movie was over, it’d be all gone. He used to tease me, how I’d hogged the entire bowl, but I couldn’t help it. Popcorn reminded me of awesome nights with Nick, watching movies and having fun. Then as I got older, it became a thing for us. Every birthday and Christmas he’d get me popcorn, and they’d always been in crazy flavors like blueberry, grape, and vanilla.

This popcorn was just butter, but it still worked at making me feel better. “Thanks Dad.”

He grinned, “I’m really proud of you today Ally. I know I’ve been saying that a lot, but I’m amazed at how well you’re reacting to the situations you’re put in. You’re thinking like an adult and making adult decisions,” he sighed, “I don’t want you to grow up.”

“I don’t feel like I’m being an adult about it,” I frowned. I felt like he was looking at a completely different person when he talked about how adult I was being.

But he shook his head, “wanting to do anything to help, forgiving your aunt even though you didn’t have to, those are pretty big qualities to have Ally. You saw me down there, I wasn’t ready to forgive her yet.”

“Then why did you?”

He sighed, “it hit you harder than it did me, and if you’re able to forgive her, then so am I.”

“I don’t want to forgive her. I want to hate her, but what you said was right. The only way to get stronger is to get through this.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I curled up against him. “Will it be over soon?”

He kissed my forehead, “Yeah, it’ll be over soon.”

“When Alex first got here, he told me that God doesn’t give us obstacles that we can’t overcome. But sometimes I don’t think he realizes how weak I actually am.”

“You’re not weak Ally. Just the opposite in fact.” I scoffed, I didn’t believe him and changed the subject.

“Where’s Alex today? He’s usually in front of the television when I get home.”

Nick tensed a little and I braced myself for another blow. “Nina flew in to town to talk.”

That was a good thing right? That meant there’s hope! “Good, they need to talk things out.”

“I agree, but they’re not talking about how to save their marriage.”

“What else is there to talk about?” I could tell Nick didn’t want to answer me. But I didn’t know why. “Don’t hide anything from me please. I think we both know that if I can handle what’s happened already, I can handle pretty much anything.”

“Well, you know Alex and Nina met in Rehab,” he started and I nodded.

“Yeah, but no one ever told me what she in there for.”

“She didn’t have a substance abuse problem…”

I was confused, “then why would she be in Rehab?”

“She was his sponsor after getting out of Rehab. That’s why they were practically inseparable. And soon that connection they shared turned into love.”

“She was his sponsor? So she helped him get better?”

“Yeah, and he called her up and told her that he wanted a drink. So she flew out here this morning.” I was glad that Alex was smart enough to talk to someone, but I was still shocked that Nina was his AA sponsor. “So before they talk about anything else, they’re talking about that. It doesn’t mean that they won’t talk about their marriage, but Alex’s sobriety is her number one priority right now.”

I was glad that even though they were falling apart, she loved him enough to still help him.

At least someone could.