“Get off the phone,” he said evenly as we sat in the VIP lounge at the airport. He plucked the Blackberry from my hand, turning it off and putting it in his backpack. I bit my lip and looked down at my hands. He hadn’t talked to me all morning unless it was telling me to do something. He didn’t come back after he slammed the door last night either. I knew that it was more than anger; it was hurt that kept him from talking to me.
It killed me.
“I want all of your exams done before the plane lands,” He said, taking out his iPod and slipping his headphones over his ears. I tore a page out of my notebook and scribbled before I looked over at him. Je suis désolé de vous blesser. Pardonnez-moi. His eyes were closed. I folded the paper, slipped it into his backpack, and then tried to focus on my exams. Every year I was able to mail my exams in because I always took the last week of school off. The school let me of course because Nick always made a sizable donation to the school, mostly to fund the performing arts program there. I looked over at him once more and then went back to my exams.
I watched as he slammed the door behind him as he walked into one of the bedrooms in the suite. I felt like crying. He wouldn’t even give me a chance to apologize and I knew he hadn’t seen the note because as soon as the plane took off, he fell asleep. I ignored the knock at the door as I walked into the bedroom. I quickly shut my door as Nick came out of his and opened it. “Where is she?” I heard. I grinned. Alex was here. “Hi baby,” He grinned as he opened my door.
“Hi Alex,” I smiled as I leaned over and hugged him.
“How are you?” I shrugged and he laughed, “that bad huh?” I knew Nick had told him.
“Make him talk to me again,” I whined, tears suddenly escaping my eyes.
“He will honey, just give him some time,” he said softly. “He doesn’t know what to say to you.”
“I hurt him,” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do to make it better.” I pressed my hands to my eyes, willing myself not to cry.
“I know honey,” He hugged me tighter. “But I love you.”
“I love you too,” I mumbled into his shirt and he laughed.
“You look exhausted, why don’t you clean yourself up, we’re all going out to dinner,” He smiled and walked out.
I took a deep breath as I met them in the hallway. “Brian!” He grabbed me in a hug and I squeezed him.
“I can’t believe how grown up you look,” he held me at arm’s length and looked at Nick.
“How do you keep the boys away from her?”
“What boys,” I muttered. I blushed when he laughed.
“I bet you have a ton of secret boyfriends your Dad knows nothing about.”
Nick glared at me and I wanted to cower, “You better not.”
“Trust me, I don’t,” I glared back. “Are Baylee and Leighanne coming?”
“No, Bay has basketball all summer so Leigh is staying with him,” he said. I frowned and looked at Alex.
“Nina couldn’t get off work,” he said. I frowned again. I hope that I wasn’t going to be the only girl on this tour.
“Leigh isn’t coming out either,” said Nick. Damn it.
This was going to be a long summer.
I grinned as I watched them all exit the stage. My favorite part of the concert was when they performed solo. Right now, it didn’t matter that Nick still wasn’t talking to me. It didn’t matter that I was going to be the only girl on this tour. What mattered was that the four men I called my family were happy. I tried to ignore Mike as he came and sat next to me. I wanted to watch Alex sing his heart out. “What,” I asked.
“My boss asked me to give you this,” he said as he handed me a slip of paper. I rolled my eyes; his boss was my father. I opened the note and grinned when I saw Nick’s chicken scratch and his attempt at French.
Mike vous ramènera à l'hôtel, me rencontrer à l'extérieur et nous allons parler.
Our fight was over. Thank God.
I looked at my surroundings. Paris at night seemed unreal. The streets were alive and the sky was alit with sparkles. The black van pulled up in front of the hotel and Nick stepped out, making his way over to Mike and me. “Stay back a little,” he said to him. Mike nodded and waited for us to continue. “You hungry?”
“A little,” I said softly. I was nervous now that he was here. I just wanted him to forgive me. I didn’t want to have to explain my actions to him. He led me into a bistro and the host quickly sat us at a booth in the corner.
“What do you want?” I knew he had no idea what the menu said. He didn’t speak French.
“Want to split some French fries?” He asked. I nodded. “Get me a glass of water,” he said.
The waiter approached and I ordered our meal for Nick. When the waiter walked away I laughed at the expression on Nick’s face as he watched us converse.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“Yes,” I smiled, running my finger along the patterns on the tabletop. He never liked to prolong a situation so I knew he was going to start talking soon. “But it’s only because you’re a geek.”
He leaned forward a little, taking a sip of his water when the waiter set it down in front of him. “So I have a proposition for you,” he said.
I frowned, “okay?”
“We have a day off tomorrow, it’s supposed to be a travel day, but if you want to stay in Paris and explore the city we can fly down to Cannes the day after.” My eyes widened. I can’t believe that he would do this for me. “On one condition,” he said, reminding me of the terms.
“Okay,” I said eagerly. I’d do anything.
“We take tonight to sort out any crap that there is between us,” he said. “I don’t want to be mad at you anymore, and I don’t want you to keep waiting for me to snap.” I swallowed and nodded. I knew he was, but it still hurt to hear that he was angry with me. I hated disappointing him.
“Okay,” I said softly as the waiter placed the plate of fries between us. I thanked him and asked for another lemonade; it gave me something to do.
“This is so great that you’re fluent.”
“How come?”
“Because when I was your age I just didn’t even think about doing stuff like this. I was too focused on other things,” he said.
“Like her,” I said softly. He hesitated and then nodded, taking a handful of fries. “I’m sorry,” I said softly as I rested my head in my hand. “I should’ve never said it.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” he agreed. “But you did, and now we’re going to talk about why you did.” I nodded solemnly. I was hoping it wouldn’t be in the bistro because I knew I was bound to cry. “But first I want you to tell me about Brandon.”
I rolled my eyes, “he’s a jerk.”
“I know that,” he agreed.
“It’s not like we were serious.”
“You’re 17, you better not be serious with anyone,” he said. I could easily call him on that but I knew what he was really referring to. He didn’t want me making the same mistake that he did. I was well aware.
I sighed, I knew he wouldn’t relent. “He’s a year older than me, and he’s on the football team. He’s friends with Chelsea’s brother.” I frowned, “just said that I wasn’t worth having a long distance relationship with, especially since I was spending the summer in Europe.”
“How long had you been seeing him?”
I shrugged, “a few weeks.”
He frowned and I sighed. “And you just told me about him now?” I shrugged. “Ally, you never wait to tell me stuff.”
“I’ve never had a boyfriend before,” I said. “I didn’t want you to freak out on me.”
He chuckled and I blushed, “good point. Thank God you told me when Brent was in the room, I would’ve freaked out. Are you finished?” He motioned to the plate that I hadn’t touched in a while and I nodded. He paid the bill and led me out of the bistro, smiling and nodding at Mike as we spotted him on the bench across the street. “Want to go for a walk?” I nodded as he led me down a side street.
“I really am sorry,” I grabbed his arm to stop him. It was killing me. I needed him to understand. “I don’t know why I said it.”
He stopped and leaned down to my level, “why do you think you did?”
I felt the tears prick my eyes, “He just hit a nerve.”
“Do you feel like there’s something missing Ally? Because if you do, whatever it is, I’ll fix it for you.” The tears started after that. I knew that if I said yes, he would do anything to make sure that it was fixed.
“No,” my voice broke. “It’s perfect, I just-” I was pathetic. “I don’t know why I said it. I’m sorry!” It all came in a rush, “He said it and it just reminded me of her, that she didn’t think I was worth it so why would anyone else. I’m sorry.”
He took the sleeve of his shirt and wiped my eyes, “Ally it’s okay. Don’t cry.” I just shook my head. I felt like I couldn’t stop and now people were starting to look at us.
“I’m trying,” I whispered as I saw Mike step closer to us. “Sorry.”
“Shh,” He whispered as he pulled me into a hug. “Take a deep breath.” I did and I was grateful it worked.
“Sorry,” I whispered as I finally calmed down.
I bit my lip nervously as he laughed, “stop apologizing.” He rubbed my back and smiled slightly, “you good now?” I blushed and nodded. We continued walking down the path and he took a deep breath, “I’m trying Ally…to be both parents. Trying to prove how worth it you are to me. I know it’s not the same and there are some things that I obviously can’t give you, but I hope that I did a good enough job-”
“Don’t,” I interrupted him. I was horrified to hear this. “You were everything I ever needed. I’m so sorry I made you think you weren’t.” He didn’t say anything, just wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we continued walking. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
He closed his eyes briefly and swallowed before looking down at me, “me either.”
