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Chapter 38


Chelsea and I had made ourselves comfortable in front of Nick’s computer screen to prepare to stream the radio station. After I told her about it, she was so excited to listen to it. “This is so cool Ally,” she giggled with a mouth full of popcorn.

“Did you know that Nick made me join Twitter last night?”

Her eyes perked up, “Really? Do you have a lot of followers?”

I opened my Twitter page and laughed, “1,589 followers to be exact. It’s kind of weird, I don’t know any of them, but every time I send out a tweet, I get like, 400 replies.”

“That’s awesome!” She handed me my blackberry, “tweet a picture of us getting ready to listen to your Dad.” I laughed and took a picture of us snuggling up on Nick’s couch together and sent out the tweet, ‘hanging out with my best friend Chelsea, getting ready for @nickcarter’s interview. Are YOU listening?’ Chelsea giggled, “How many people do you think will reply?”

I laughed, “No idea. I bet, fifty at the most. It’s late on the east coast.” The radio DJ got on the air and chitchatted with his cohost for a few minutes before they introduced a slew of songs that I didn’t care for. I never really listened to the radio because I grew up listening to the music that Nick had listened to, which was mostly 80’s rock, and the music he created of course. “Chels, I have over 80 replies,” I giggled with her.

We scanned each one and Chelsea pointed at Nick’s reply, “even Nick replied to you.” I felt myself blush at the tweet, ‘@AllyCarter, you look gorgeous baby. I miss you.’ He had been gone for nearly a week and I missed him like crazy. “Aww, he’s so cute! Do you know what they’re gonna talk about tonight?”

“No idea,” I grinned and grabbed a handful of popcorn, “but it’s starting!”

“Hey Nick, how you doing man?”

I could practically hear Nick grinning, “I’m doing great man, really, really great.”

“You sound it! Glad to hear it.” The DJ laughed, “I’ve been sitting on the edge of my seat, staring at the cover of Rolling Stone. Who’s the bombshell in between you and your brother Aaron?”

Nick laughed and Chelsea nudged me. I covered my cheeks when I felt the blood rush to them. Nick answered, “That’s my daughter Ally. Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She’s gorgeous man, you have your work cut out for you,” the DJ laughed.

“Nah, she’s a great kid, I really lucked out, especially because I raised her on my own. She’s got a great head on her shoulders and I’m just really proud of her.”

“It sounds it, tell me, does she want to follow in her father’s footsteps like the article suggests?”

Nick chuckled, “Not sure. She really didn’t even realize she had co-written the song until the article came out actually. She was with AJ and freaked out when she saw she was on the cover.”

I frowned when Chelsea giggled, “It’s not funny, I was freaked out.”

“Oh please Ally, deep down inside you love it.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“So anything new you working on besides producing for Aaron?”

“Well I’m always working on solo stuff. Not sure if I’ll get around to putting another album together soon but the boys and I will go back into the studio in December.”

“We hear you brought a little something special along for us.”

I could tell Nick was suddenly nervous by the way he laughed. “I did. A song that I had written is going to be on the new record for VH1’s Save the Music. It’s going to be the leadoff single. I was talking to some of the producers about writing a song for them and when they heard about this one, they immediately jumped on it.”

“What’s it about?”

He paused, “I wrote it about Ally, and how she saved me. How there’s still so many unanswered questions but if we stick together, we can answer them.”

I didn’t hear anything past my name. I knew what song it was. My jaw dropped and I could hear Chelsea asking me what was wrong but I wasn’t hearing her completely. He was going to play the song he wrote for me to the entire world. “I can’t believe he did this…”

“And I hear there’s something that makes this song stand out.”

“Ally sings it with me,” he said softly. “I know she’s listening right now, Ally, don’t be scared, it’s gonna be great. I promise.”

“So let’s play this baby. Ladies and Gentlemen, you’re about to listen to the world premiere of Nick Carter’s ‘In Front of the World,’ featuring Ally Carter, and can be found on Vh1’s Save the Music’s upcoming charity record out later this month.”

Tears sprung to my eyes as the music started playing. Listening to it this way was unreal. I was expecting to feel angry, scared and betrayed. But I wasn’t feeling any of those things.

A song I was singing was playing on the radio. Granted I didn’t have any solos but you could clearly hear my voice. Now I knew how Nick felt whenever he heard one his songs on the radio. He’d turn the music up as high as it could go and belt out the words right along with the radio. He was so happy, and felt so proud.

And that’s how I felt right now.

After the song was over, it went straight to commercial and I turned to Chelsea, “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you could sing? That you did sing?”

I shrugged, “I didn’t think it’d ever see the light of day. Nick told me that he used to sing because it helped him deal with things he didn’t want to deal with. That it was a creative outlet he used to his advantage and I didn’t have to use it as an outlet but it might be a stepping stone to another creative way.”

“Was it?”

I paused and closed my eyes, “It turns out I’m exactly like Nick. I love it. I just don’t know if I could do it professionally.”

“How come?”

“Because I like the anonymity I have now. His fans know who I am, and they’re the ones that matter, right?”

“There’s going to be a lot more curious eyes now that both the article and the song are out.” I frowned; she had a major point there.

“I know. Alex told me to use the attention wisely and to my advantage, but I have no idea what he means by that,” I sighed.

I didn’t really pay attention to the rest of the interview. I was still stuck on the fact that everyone heard my song, and as it turns out, it wasn’t so off-putting to know that I was going to be talked about. “Ow!” Chelsea elbowed me hard in the ribs.

“Nick is calling you.”

I shook my head to clear my mind and picked up my phone. Before he even said hello, he asked, “Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not. But I can’t believe you did that.”

He was silent. “You’re really not mad?”

I was more surprised than he was. “No I’m not. I thought I would be, because I do hate attention. But like I said to Chels, I hate unnecessary attention.” My voice went quiet, “It was so…awesome to hear the song we sang together on the radio, and that you’re using it for a good cause.”

He didn’t answer right away again. “I don’t know what to say. I was braced for a warpath when I called, not an extremely tolerant and happy girl.”

I laughed, “I hated being in the magazine because I didn’t do anything to garner the attention. It was undeserved, but now, with the song, people will be curious. Alex told me that more people than usual will be curious and that I need to use the attention seekers to my advantage. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that, but that’s what I’ll do.”

“Do you…want to do this as a career?” I could tell he was hesitant to ask, because I was hesitant to answer.

“No,” I said. I just wasn’t so sure of that anymore. I sighed, “I still don’t know what I want to do.”

“That’s okay,” he said softly, “You’re still young and have plenty of time to figure that out.”

I wasn’t entirely satisfied with that answer, “But I’m the daughter of a musician, I don’t think I’ll be able to stay away from it for long.”

“You’ve stayed away from it for seventeen years Ally. Your willpower is extremely strong.”

“Yeah, but now that I’ve had a taste, and know how good it makes me feel, I don’t think it’ll be that strong anymore.”

“We’ll talk about it more when I get back, and if you decide to continue, you know I’ll help you in any way I can.”

“Okay,” I said. It gave me time to sort out an answer, weigh the pros and cons and figure out if it was the rational thing to do.

“Speaking of…” He took a deep breath, “I’m not coming home next week. I need to be out here for another week or so.”

“Oh,” I tried to hide my surprise and disappointment. I went with dramatic instead, “Freedom from being a Dad treating you well?”

He laughed, “They asked me to produce the Save the Music record, so I’ll be out here doing that.”

“And here I thought maybe it was a girl that had your attention.” He didn’t answer. “Fine then. Just know, that I miss you like crazy already, and if it is a girl, I’m planning to steal all the attention away from her if you decide to bring her home.”

Chelsea was squirming with curiosity as she listened to the one-sided conversation. I couldn’t believe I was being so casual about it. “What the hell are you talking about Ally? You know you’ll always be the only girl for me.” That was the problem apparently.

But I let it go for now; this was a face-to-face conversation. “I do miss you,” I said softly. The confession all of a sudden embarrassed me.

“I miss you too Ally,” he replied just as quietly. “But we have Skype, and phone calls and texts and now Twitter, so all the world can see how much you annoy me.”

I laughed at his attempt to lighten the mood, “You mean so your fans can see that you’re really just a loser living in a celebrity’s body.”

“Psht, whatever girly,” he chuckled then, “I have to go. I just wanted to call and make sure you didn’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” I laughed, “I never could.”

“Good, because you’re the only one I can’t live without,” He laughed with me.

“Have a good night, and let’s Skype tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he agreed, “it’s going to have to be late though, 10pm you’re time. Is that okay?” I agreed and frowned when we hung up.

“What the hell was that talk about Nick bringing a girl home?”

I thought back to the conversation I had with Alex, ‘what makes you think he’s fallen in love before?’ “Alex told me that Nick has never been in love,” I started softly. I felt like I was betraying Nick somehow, like it was a secret he didn’t want anyone to know. “I thought he was in love with Jen, because, you know, he loved her enough to have a kid with her, but Alex asked if I could ever love someone that would desert me like that, and no I can’t, so I couldn’t imagine that Nick could.”

Chelsea frowned, “I never thought of that. But you’re right; I’ve never seen Nick with even a girlfriend.”

I shrugged, I didn’t want to think about the fact that that didn’t mean he was probably lonely. If I let myself really think about it, I knew he probably still found ways to have a night out. I shuddered, but if I thought about it, I’d throw up.

“I think he didn’t bring anyone home because of me.” I straightened defiantly, “It’s time he stopped focusing on me, and start focusing on himself. He deserves it.”

Chelsea grinned suddenly, “Well, what are we going to do about it?”

The look on her face made me grin. It was time to find my Dad a girlfriend.

“Operation Get Nick A Girlfriend,” I giggled, “Has officially begun.”