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Chapter 6

Nick woke up in a bad mood. I could tell because when he got angry, he got quiet. The only time I ever saw him lose his temper was when my aunt BJ was staying with me one week while he went to LA for some recordings. I was thirteen and BJ had been late from picking me up from basketball practice. When she did show up, she was drunk, but I got in the car anyways because I was thirteen, and when she told me she was okay, well…I believed her. But then she got pulled over and got arrested and Nick got a phone call from the police station. He flew home immediately and I’ve never seen him so angry.

After he bailed out my aunt, he drove her straight to the airport without so much as a goodbye. When the front door closed he started yelling at Alex, who flew back with him. I started crying when he threw my plate of food and it broke into pieces against our refrigerator. I was cowered in a corner and it took him a good hour before he convinced me that he wasn’t mad at me, but at my aunt. From then on, he learned to control his temper, but getting quiet, like he was now, was still frightening.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine, do you have any books you need to read this summer?”

“Yes, but I already finished it.” He nodded and continued to stare at the magazine. I don’t think he was reading it. “Want to get some food?”

“Not hungry.” I turned around to leave but stopped when he said, “what the fuck are you wearing Alexandra?”

I looked down at the dress I was wearing. It was one that Alex had bought me on that infamous night in Saks. It was a little short but it was actually really cute. “Alex bought it for me.”

I tried not to be really embarrassed as he dragged me though the venue and to the green room. I knew it was just the emotion talking and he wasn’t mad at me. He just wanted a reason to be mad. “Alex, what the fuck is she wearing?”

I knew my whole body flushed bright red as they all glanced up at me. Alex grinned, “Nice dress Al. It looks great on you.”

“This is not a dress. It’s…a long shirt at best. Why are you buying my daughter clothes that even strippers wouldn’t wear?”

“Oh God,” I was completely mortified. “I’m going to go change.” But Nick just held my arm, waiting for Alex to answer.

“Please, you’ve been around strippers, you know they wear much less than that.”

I begged and pleaded for the powers that be to swallow me whole. I couldn’t believe they were having this conversation in front of me. “Who cares,” I groaned, “it’s just a fucking dress; don’t throw a hissy fit because of it.” I didn’t have to look at his face to know that it was the completely wrong thing to say.

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me,” he snapped.

“Then don’t treat me like a fucking child. I’m old enough to know what I should and shouldn’t wear. And if you really want to know, there’s a whole fucking suitcase full of clothes like these that I like and I will wear and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“You won’t be wearing them if I burn the fucking thing.”

“What the hell crawled up your ass?” His eyes just narrowed at me. I was crossing so many lines cussing at him like this. “Did you wake up deciding that you were going to pissy at me today?”

“Go change out of that joke of a dress and wait for me on the bus,” he glared and I relented completely. I hated when he did that. I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me, hoping it would have a dramatic effect.


When he came back on the bus I was dressed from head to toe in sweats. He rolled his eyes when he saw me, and I suddenly felt stupid. I had no idea why, but he was mad at me. “Why are you so mad at me? What did I do?”

"First off, apologize for mouthing off and cussing like a sailor. You're better than that."

I just stared at him, "rebellion is one of my quirky charms that you love about me." He wasn't buying it, "Fine, sorry."

“You didn’t do anything,” he sat across from me.

“Then why are you taking it out on me? The dress wasn’t that bad and you know it. You just wanted to find something to take your anger out on and I was the closest target.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Stop the presses! Nick Carter just said that I was right! “Did you just admit that you were wrong?”

He grinned slightly but it didn’t reach his eyes, “no. I just admitted that you were right. There’s a difference.”

“And what would that be?”

“I’m never wrong, but I can’t always be right.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Just accept the apology okay? I won’t take it out on you again.”

“I’ll forgive you only if you tell me what’s wrong.”

He looked contemplative, “Your aunt BJ called me this morning,” he sighed, “there’s some trouble back home.”

“What kind of trouble?”

He shrugged, “she just needed some advice, and a place to stay for a little while.” My aunt BJ has a sordid past; one Nick refused to talk about with me. I just knew that she had a hard time staying out of trouble but whenever she called him; he had never hesitated to help her out.




“You think you should let her back into your lives?” That was the statement that made me realize that they were talking about my mother. I had gone to get a soda from the vending machine to find our hotel door open and Nick asking for Alex’s advice. She had tried to contact Nick.

“Fuck no,” Nick snapped. “Everything that ever happened with her was a fucking mistake.” What? I gasped and they both looked up in surprise. Did he just say I was a mistake? “Ally wait-” But I didn’t hear anymore. I ran down the stairs and out into the city, the tears blurring my vision as I tried to get as far away from them as possible. Why would he say that? I stopped running and bit back a sob. He thought I was a mistake. I looked down at my phone as it started to ring and pressed ignore when I saw it was Nick calling.

I needed to forget.

I wandered around the city for what seemed like hours. Nick and Alex kept calling and I swear someone was following me. I turned around and saw a man who looked to be a little older than I was but that was it. Why would he be following me?

Everything that ever happened with her was a fucking mistake.

His words rang through my head again and I narrowed my eyes at the street in front of me. I hated him. I didn’t need him. I’d be 18 soon and I could get away from him forever. I just had to endure one more year. I could do it; I was strong. “Excuse me,” I heard. I turned around and the man was closer, much closer. “Do you have the time? I mean, if you speak English,” he smiled sheepishly.

“Uh, um, it’s about 10:30,” I muttered.

“You do speak English,” he smiled.

“I do.”

“So I take it you don’t live around here,” he grinned.

“No, I’m just here for a few days.”

“Me too, and I’ve been wandering around the city aimlessly because I don’t speak German.”

“I don’t either,” I sighed.

“As much as I don’t know the city, I do know that there is a bar around the corner that serves great beer,” he winked. “We’ll be the only two non-speaking German people there,” he offered.

Was he serious? “Uh, sure,” I said. I bet that would piss Nick off.

He stuck out his hand, “I’m Dan.”

“Ally,” I smiled.

“Well then, follow me Ally,” he smiled and I followed him. True to his word, there was a bar around the corner. The only problem was that I couldn’t drink. But he didn’t need to know that. I was floored when we were able to walk right into the bar. “What do you want?” I had no clue, the only alcohol I’d ever had was sips out of Nick’s beer, and I hated it. I was never that rebellious child who broke into the liquor cabinet when Daddy was away.

“Uh, whatever you’re having,” I said quickly. My eyes widened as Dan ordered and the bartender didn’t even think twice. “Go find us a seat,” he grinned. I nodded and he followed me to a table near the front of the bar.

This could be a good way to forget how much I hated Nick.

I definitely loved the effect the alcohol had on me. I felt happy and free and once Dan started talking, he didn’t stop. I forgot all about Nick and what he had said. I looked at my phone, and saw how many messages and missed calls I had from him and Alex. I rolled my eyes and looked at the time. My eyes bugged, it was almost 1am. “I think I need to go,” I mumbled.

“Let me walk you back to your hotel,” he said. I nodded. I hope Nick saw him with me. I hope he got angry. I didn’t care one bit.

I was so lost in my thoughts that it didn’t register what he was doing. I was pushed up against a wall and his lips were on me. “Hey,” I said startled, “stop.” The alcohol seemed to wear off immediately as I realized what was happening. My phone broke the silence and I knew it was Nick calling again. “Stop,” I said with more conviction. I pushed him away and realized I had no clue where we were. We were on a deserted side street and I started to run but he caught up quickly. “Stop,” I tried pushing him away again but he pushed me up against the wall and started ripping at my clothes.

I started screaming.