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Chapter Thirty Six

"Landon you can't eat breakfast in your tux."

"Yeah-huh. It's my look."

I snorted behind my danish.

As soon as I had gotten home from Montreal, the whole family had taken off to Kentucky for Shelby and Mason's wedding. Everyone had gushed over how cute Landon and Brenna were. Brenna looked like a red-headed snow princess. Her dress was trimmed in white fur and she had a matching fake fur coat and hat. Landon had looked like a blonde penguin. His ego had exploded; thus, he wanted to wear his tuxedo twenty-four seven.

Mom looked at dad for help. He smiled.

"Well if it's his look..."

Mom threw up her hands. "I give up."

Dad laughed. "You gave up forever ago. Sit down and eat."

"Crap."

I watched Pey try to balance her danish with her left hand. She had broken her arm surfing two days ago. It was the first time I could ever remember her being even a little immobile.

"Hon, just be patient and take your time," mom said. Pey gave her a look.

"Hey, can someone drive me to Kay's tonight?" Noah asked.

"Not it!" mom said quickly.

"Not it!" dad said.

My eyes widened. "You did NOT play the 'not it' game on me," I said.

The 'not it' game had gotten Noah and I out of a lot of things. Mom and dad shared a smile.

"Looks like you're taking me," NoNo said.

I would have complained louder, but it was Kayleigh after all. I poured some OJ and stood up.

"Don't get used to it," I said. Noah chucked a wadded up napkin at my back. I scooped it up and chucked it at his head.

"Well, I know Brooke's back home now," dad said. "Beware flying objects."

"Ha ha!" I shouted. "Funny!"

"CRAP!" Peyton yelled again.

"CRAP!" Landon shouted.

Dad was so right. I really was home. The 'crap' was flying.

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"This is classic."

"Do you think he even remembers this?"

"Which ones daddy? Which ones daddy?"

"The blonde one DORK!"

"Don't call me a dowk!"

Somehow the four of us had ended up in my bedroom. I had gotten bored and raided the attic. A box filled with videos had grabbed my attention.

We were watching the most hilarious, horrible video ever. It was some type of promotional video for libraries. Dad's acting was bad. And the singing---

"Reaacccch for a bookkkk at your librarrry!" Landon sang. I think he was actually enjoying it. Peyton was holding her arm and laughing so hard she was crying. Noah looked like he never wanted to claim dad again.

"What are you doing?"

All of us looked towards the door. Mom was looking at us suspiciously. I pointed.

"Have you seen this?"

"Where'd you find that VCR?" mom asked. She walked in and sat on my bed. I rewound the tape.

"Attic."

A minute later we were back at the beginning. Landon bounced in my lap and sang along. We had already watched the beginning about eight times. Mom broke into a huge smile.

"I've never seen this," she said. "Was it in my library things?"

She obviously hadn't recognized dad in the song intro. "Wait," I said.

A minute later the scene switched to six kids around a table. Dad got the first line. Mom gasped.

"Oh my god, that's Nick."

She was just as entranced in the awfulness of it all as we were. All of us were in hysterics by the middle of the video. Landon was laughing just because the rest of us were.

"What's so funny?"

All of us looked over at dad. Mom opened her mouth, but all she could do was snort. Dad glanced towards the TV. His eyes widened.

"Oh, hell no."

"I guess I wasn't the first librarian you had the hots for," mom gasped when she was finally able to talk.

Dad's face turned red. "Why are you watching this?"

I glanced at everyone. We all turned back to dad.

"L-I-B-R-A-R-------Y!!!! Reach up high!"

The laughter turned into shrieks. Dad walked over and stopped the tape just as his ten year old self was doing a weird air climbing motion while a retro librarian walked around the table still singing that atrocious, yet catchy song.

"Oh," Noah gasped. "Oh, you were such a dork, dad."

Mom wiped her eyes. "I think it's adorable," she said.

"You'd never catch me singing and dancing around like an idiot," Noah said.

I grinned.

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"You said you burned this!" Noah shrieked.

I was pulled along the floor by my feet as NoNo tried to reach the DVD player. I grabbed onto him and we rolled around.

"Remember this?" mom asked dad. "A star was born that day."

"Two stars," dad amended.

"You're the devil!" Noah yelled. He grabbed onto my hair. I elbowed his jaw.

Since NoNo had been so cocky about never looking like an idiot, I just so HAPPENED to find a copy of Peter Pan that we had both performed in. I had been in fourth grade; NoNo was in third. He was Peter Pan; I was Wendy. Talk about singing and dancing around like an idiot...

"This is funny! This is funny!" Landon yelled. He bounced on my bed in a little circle around dad.

"All I remember is wanting to go home," Peyton said.

"Oh, my favorite part's coming up," I said. Noah grabbed for my mouth, but I rammed my hand into his gut.

"I won't grow up! I don't wanna go to school! Just to learn to be a parrot and recite a silly rule! If growing up means..."

We all watched little Noah singing his lungs out on screen. I began to grin. Little NoNo stopped mid-line and ran off stage. Noah groaned and buried his head in his hands.

"What happened? What happened?" Landon squealed.

"NoNo," I said. Mom was already laughing. She leaned over as far as her belly would let her and ruffled Noah's hair. "NoNo had to go to the bathroom. He got stage jitters."

"Did you have to poop?" Landon asked. His curiousity went way too far sometimes.

"Okay, we're done!" Noah announced. My screen went dark. His huge ass feet came inches from crushing my fingers as he stood up. "Can you take me to Kay's now?"

Dad got up and helped mom to her feet. She looked totally relaxed and happy.

"That was fun. We should watch this stuff more often."

"Yeah, the videos of Brooke trying to murder me as an infant come to mind," Noah said. I bounced up and helped Pey.

"You're exaggerating," I scoffed.

"I don't know. Some days..." mom said.

The conversation was quickly turning to embarrassing things I did. I grabbed my keys.

"Alright bro, let's go."

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Author's Note: Check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J_1LaY9sKQ to reference the amazingly hilarious library video Nick did in 1990. Thanks for ForeverRebel for the great laugh. It's been a long time since I've seen it!