Laney fought back the tears as she talked to her friend.  “I am so happy for you Sara.” She hoped that her joy for her friend came across over the phone and that her friend wouldn’t be able to tell that the tears were on the verge of flowing from her eyes as she spoke.   “When are you due?”

She listened as her friend talked about the due date for her first child, the child she hadn’t been planning on having but was so delighted to know she was going to have now.   She wanted Laney to be there to support her, she wanted her to go find parenting books and clothes and furniture for the nursery and of course Sara was hoping that Laney would throw a baby shower for her since her mother had passed the year before.

“Sara, you are going to make a great mother and I can’t wait to meet your son or daughter.” Laney honestly said as the tears started to fall from her eyes. She reached for a tissue to wipe her eyes and her nose that was starting to run from holding back the tears. 

The girls said their good-byes after agreeing to get together for coffee or smoothies now that Sara was pregnant, soon.  Once the phone was hung up Laney couldn’t help it but let the tears fall freely.  She was happy for her friend she continued to try to focus on that fact, but no matter how much she thought about it she couldn’t help but be upset that her friend who hadn’t been trying to get pregnant was now expecting a child while she was still barren after half a year of trying. 

Laney was glad that Brian was not around to see her crying over this.  She knew that he wouldn’t be much support as he wouldn’t understand why she was upset about this.  Brian had left the day after their closing and Laney was left to organize the packing and moving of their house to the new house. 

She wiped her eyes and started to put the books from the selves into boxes for the house, she needed to throw herself into something, anything, to distract her from the sadness that she was feeling.   

The day before, Laney had gone to her doctor appointment to get started on the process for a Clomid prescription.  She was anxious to find out how it would work, though she was slightly nervous after hearing stories of women who had massive mood swings and felt like they were on a constant PMS when they were on the drug. 

“Before we can put you on the drug I want to determine if it would be a good starting point for you or if you should delve further into something else.”  The doctor had told her at the appointment.  “Get an ovulation test and twelve days into your cycle start testing.  When you get a positive result call the office and we will have you come in to take your blood.  We will test your progesterone level to determine if you are ovulating, this will help determine the dosage of the Clomid you will be on also.”  The woman smiled at her and tried to reassure her. 

“So there is nothing to really do until I ovulate?” Laney wanted to make sure she had heard the doctor correctly.

“Yes.”

The appointment was quick, much more so than Laney had expected.  She had waited until Brian called her that night to tell him what the doctor said.   They agreed that she would fly out to see him during her fertile window, even though she wasn’t going to be on the drug it was better to try. Perhaps they would get pregnant before they even had to go on the drug.

Laney was biding her time until she flew out to Brian.  She had already bought her ovulation test strips and was packed.  She called the doctor and told her where she would be and the offices found an office that was close to her location that she could have the progesterone test completed at and have the results sent to her doctor.  

She looked down at the book she had in her hands “The Handmaid’s Tale”.  She laughed internally and put the book in the box.  It was about a society where fertile women were sent to prominent families in society to conceive a child for them, well at least if what happened in that book ever happened she would not have to worry about being pimped out like that.  She laughed at the thought and continued to pack her books in the boxes. 

Folding the box closed she looked at her watch and smiled.  It was finally time to head to the airport.  All through the flight she tried to ignore the news her friend had told her, she didn’t want tears to fill her eyes when she saw Brian and really, she shouldn’t have tears, she was happy for her friend.  Maybe she would get pregnant and they would get to share the experience together.  With these new positive thoughts Laney exited the plane and was welcomed by Brian’s warm embrace.